Reflecting on the holiday season, Jerry Wayne Longmire shares personal stories from Christmas in Houston, including his involvement in a charity event with Pancho Claus. He discusses unplugging from technology to spend quality time with family, playing video games, and tackling home projects. Jerry also shares insights from his charitable work, highlighting the joy of giving and the importance of community support. The episode touches on nostalgia, family traditions, and the lessons learned throughout the year, encouraging listeners to appreciate small victories and the people who stand by them.
"... whole assembly and it goes down the tank on that Mazda 3, it's a 2012 model, but there's a compartment to ..."
The Mazda 3 is a small car that many people like because it looks good and drives well. The 2012 version is known for being dependable and not using too much gas, which is helpful for everyday use.
The Mazda 3, also known as the Axela in some markets, is a compact car that has gained popularity for its sporty handling and stylish design. The 2012 model is part of the second generation and is known for its reliability and fuel efficiency, making it a great choice for daily driving.
"It's very festive. It would be good spirits. Had me some coffee on the way there."
The Dodge Spirit is a larger car from the 1990s that people often remember for being roomy and comfortable. It was made for families and is a classic example of American cars from that time.
The Dodge Spirit is a mid-size sedan that was produced in the 1990s and is known for its spacious interior and comfortable ride. It represents a time when American sedans were designed for practicality and family use, making it a nostalgic choice for many car enthusiasts.
"But I liked the big engines, classic cars, that kind of thing. Low riders, I love low, we got a lot of low riders. I love low riders."
Low riders are cars that sit closer to the ground than normal. They often have special designs and colors, and people enjoy showing them off at events.
Low riders are vehicles that have been modified to have a lowered suspension, often featuring custom paint jobs and unique designs. They are a significant part of car culture, particularly in the Latino community, and are often associated with cruising and car shows.
"...the classic, the old C10 stuff like that. There was a 75 K5 Blazer..."
The Chevrolet C10 is an older model of pickup truck that many people love for its style and reliability. It's often seen as a classic vehicle.
The Chevrolet C10 is a classic pickup truck that was produced from 1960 to 1998. It's known for its simple design and robust performance, making it a popular choice among enthusiasts and collectors.
"...There was a 75 K5 Blazer. Some gal, she just, she locked on it..."
The Chevrolet K5 Blazer is a big SUV that many people like for its ability to go off-road and its spacious interior. The 1975 version is especially popular.
The Chevrolet K5 Blazer is a full-size SUV that was produced from 1969 to 1991. The 1975 model is known for its ruggedness and off-road capabilities, making it a favorite among outdoor enthusiasts.
"classic hot rods with big engines. And you know, the shit I'm into."
Hot rods are cars that have been modified to go faster and look cooler, usually based on older models. They are popular in car culture for their performance and style.
Hot rods are custom-built cars, typically based on older American models, that are modified for increased performance and speed. They often feature powerful engines and unique styling.
"Your regular old, we used to call them country club Camaro's and Mercedes and the Beamer's and stuff."
BMW is a car brand from Germany that makes luxury cars. They are known for being fun to drive and are often seen as a sign of success.
BMW, or Bayerische Motoren Werke, is a German automobile manufacturer known for producing luxury vehicles that emphasize performance and driving pleasure. They are often regarded as a status symbol.
"Your regular old, we used to call them country club Camaro's and Mercedes and the Beamer's and stuff."
Mercedes is a brand that makes luxury cars. They are known for being very well-made and often come with lots of features that make driving comfortable and safe.
Mercedes-Benz is a well-known luxury automobile brand that produces high-quality vehicles known for their performance, safety, and advanced technology. They are often associated with luxury and prestige.
"Your regular old, we used to call them country club Camaro's and Mercedes and the Beamer's and stuff."
The Camaro is a type of sports car made by Chevrolet. It's known for being fast and stylish, and it's been around for many years.
The Chevrolet Camaro is a classic American muscle car known for its performance and sporty design. It has been a popular choice among car enthusiasts since its introduction in the 1960s.
Pickup trucks are vehicles with a separate open area in the back for carrying things. They're often used for work or outdoor activities.
Pickup trucks are light-duty trucks with an open cargo area in the back, designed for transporting goods and materials. They are popular for both work and recreational purposes due to their versatility and utility.
"some cute ass for a Lamborghini or something like that"
Lamborghini is a brand that makes very fast and expensive sports cars. They are known for their unique shapes and powerful engines.
Lamborghini is an Italian luxury sports car manufacturer known for its high-performance vehicles and distinctive designs. Models like the Aventador and Huracán are famous for their speed and style.
Sports cars are fast cars built for performance and handling. They are usually lighter and have more powerful engines than regular cars.
Sports cars are designed for high speed and agility, often featuring powerful engines and lightweight construction. They prioritize performance and handling over practicality.
"...so I can change the wheel speed sensors on it. Hopefully get the remaining lights off."
Wheel speed sensors are parts that measure how fast each wheel is turning. They help the car's braking system work better and keep you safe while driving.
Wheel speed sensors are components of a vehicle's anti-lock braking system (ABS) that monitor the speed of each wheel, helping to prevent skidding and maintain control during braking.
"...ing counties. And I'm going back to Austin to the Vulcan. And I love the Vulcan Gas Company."
The Aston Martin Vulcan is a very special and expensive sports car that is built for speed and racing. It's not something you see every day, and it's designed to be super fast and powerful.
The Aston Martin Vulcan is a limited-production supercar known for its extreme performance and track-focused design. With a powerful V12 engine and lightweight construction, it represents the pinnacle of Aston Martin's engineering and is a rare sight on the road.
Select text to request an explanation
Still remembers fire, grass remembers rain, every scar tells the story or dial the bank, if you go diggin' some, best mind what you find, the true cut is your heart.
Welcome to the Wrecking Yard, I'm Jerry Wayne Longmire, y'all!
Presumably still y'all, all are welcome here in the church, with internal combustion, we just ask that show up with an open heart, and with an openness to learn.
You know, I say all are welcome, but I'm getting real irritated with closed-minded people, so if you're not willing to learn something, or willing to take a look at yourself, then piss off.
You're absolutely not welcome here.
Have some humility as a living, breathing creature on this rock that's hurtling through space right now, to maybe think that you don't know everything, none of us do, morons.
Alright, got that, I musta, I ran into a bunch of closed-minded people here today, had to deal with them, not how I want to spend my Christmas vacation, which has been glorious, might I just say.
I had an obligation, I shouldn't call it an obligation, I got to go do a charity event with Pancho Claus on Christmas Eve, and I had to run one other errand on Christmas Eve, but then Christmas Day I unplugged, left my phone on the charger all day, day after Christmas, Boxing Day,
Celebrate Boxing Day by leaving phone on my charger, just hanging out with momma and the kiddos, played a little Red Dead Redemption with my cousin Ricky, finally I've been trying to get him to play this game for, I don't know, umpteen years, we played Grand Theft Auto together, we played Forza together, but he was like, I don't know, it just doesn't sound fun to me, horses, you know, there's no fast cars, and that kind of stuff, and
a week of playing Red Dead Redemption too, he's hooked, he's grinding his ass off in there, trying to get his, all his rolls, and his stuff, and his better guns, and we're having a great time exploring the old West together, and hunting, and raising hell, and so, that's exciting, I've been longing for somebody to play that game with, my sister used to play with me, and then she quit playing Xbox for a little while, and
that's just one, I have, I have, I have scoured the, the lands of Red Dead Redemption online too, or two online, whatever you want to call it, I've scoured the bounties of that, the boundaries of that county alone, wandering the woods, quoting Faulkner to myself as I rode horses down canyons, and anyway, long story, this fun game, glad that,
he's finally into it, we're having a great time together, but I did unplug most of Christmas, unplugged, really, I've been kind of unplugged since the last talk to y'all, I haven't made any content, I did repost some Christmas content from a couple years ago and last year, but I just wanted to, I did do a bunch of cameos for people, for last minute Christmas gifts, I was having, I had a little bit of a financial blow before
Christmas, I didn't make as much money on the Christmas tour as I was hoping to make, and came sliding into Christmas a little tight, a little tight, making everything happen, I was trying to make happen, and also keep bills paid, and head above water, and so I came in a little tight, so I offered a special, cameo, did a whole bunch of cameos for Christmas, but managed to raise a little bit of money enough to at least cover one of those bills and get myself out of trouble.
Right before Christmas, woo, so I'm happy about that, gotta work on the Mazda, Mazda, every time I let the Mazda sit overnight, don't want to start, I did go in there and I borrowed neighbors fuel gauge, I tested fuel pressure,
fuel pressure and the fuel pump and the fuel filter are all, it's kind of like a whole assembly and it goes down the tank on that Mazda 3, it's a 2012 model, but there's a compartment to get to it, you ain't got to drop the tank, it's easy enough, so I wouldn't know, and it's not an expensive pump, I wasn't worried about changing, it's a high pressure pump, I wasn't worried about changing it,
but tested fuel pressure is good, so suspect, basically everything I read about the diagnostics is the next step is to dive off into some diagnostics on the fuel injectors, but you know, I haven't done the plugs on it, it needs plugs, probably needs air, I put 26,000 miles on it this year, so I know it needs, you know, it needs some basic maintenance,
so tackling all that tomorrow, I don't have, I have the whole month off, I think I told you all that, I have the whole month off, just to do stuff around here, and yesterday I burned about 50 cardboard boxes in trash, a bunch of stuff that we had laying around cardboard boxes they wouldn't even take for recycling, they were so jacked up, and then I hauled the rest of the boxes off for recycling,
and yeah, I did a bunch of cleaning up around the property, I got a, I need some advice from you arborists, you guys know plants a lot better than me, this is all kind of, I didn't grow up working the land doing tree work and stuff like that, so I've had to teach myself all that stuff, but I'll tell you where I could use some advice,
uh, church, is up front, at the front of our property, there's a huge rose bush, and it's probably like two or three rose bushes, and there are a very special type of rose that Rachel's grandmother created by mating, grafting two different types of roses, but it was a creeper rose, and another kind of rose, and she made this really cool creeper rose, that it didn't creep along anything, it climbed,
it loves to climb, and flower, the problem is, there's birds like hanging out in them roses, and they poop all the pecan seeds, and all the bullshit they eat in the rose bush, and over the years nobody took care of it, especially as grandma got older, we were living far away, and then Rachel's brother lived here, he never took care of anything in the yard, he just let it go crazy, and I've been steady cutting down a jungle from him,
his tenure here, but there's pecan trees, little pecan trees, about, I'd say, uh, two and a half, three and a half inches in diameter, that have grown up in there, another little bullshit box elder crap like that, but it's thick enough that I can't pull it, I mean, James is gonna bring his tractor over, he says we can pull it with his tractor, I don't want to kill that rose bush,
so, if I can't pull these things without destroying the rose bush, I was planning to cut them at the very base, just, get down there on my little, I got a little handheld chainsaw on this, at the very base of them,
and I've tried, uh, drilling them and salting them once, I cut them off at the top, drilled them, salted them, they just kept growing, so is there, is there a herbicide, that I can use in a spot,
treatment method, just to treat those trunks, that'll kill those trunks without hurting those roses, or is there a better method to kill those trees so they don't keep growing back,
so please give me your thoughts in the comments, I don't care if it's a seven page comment, tell me how to fix it, I'm asking y'all for advice because y'all are all really smart and a lot smarter than me and a lot of things,
and I love having this bank of knowledge out here, of people who actually do this stuff, anyways, that's that,
I hope Jerry needs some advice about what to come through, at this point, I feel like I've tried a lot of shit and they just keep coming back,
and pecan trees are, I like pecan trees, the only thing that is more of a nuisance than a dagum redbud tree, except pecan actually gives you pecans, so is that,
and I love my big pecan trees, I just want all them little tiny ones growing through my rose bush, I want to see my roses,
because the roses get distracted fighting with them for resources and shit, I want the roses to down the chain link fence and look beautiful,
I just want to see them all pop this year, like they used to, we used to come over here, back when Uncle Jerry was alive,
and you come up springtime, right time of year, we got the biggest azalea in Houston, we got azalea taller than that freaking house,
and you'd come over here and that was, so Rachel's great grandmother, they called her Granny, Granny Fridge, this was her house,
and she had it, she caught birds, she caught wild birds and tamed them, she had bird cages all over the screen porch,
and morning doves and all kind of cockat, cockat keats and whatever the hell, all kind of birds,
you know here in Houston we actually have wild parrots, it's a parakeet actually, but they call it a parrot,
and we have all kind of crazy birds here, and she had, she'd just catch one of these birds and train them,
and she'd have her a pet bird, and she just had all kind of birds, green thumb like nobody's business,
her and pep all Fridge could grow anything, and slowly getting back to the roots, getting rid of all the crap,
and getting back to the stuff that they planted, you know, they had grapes, they had all kind of stuff out here planted,
the dewberries, unfortunately all the dewberries are dead, so I gotta go, but you can't, it's hard to just go buy a dewberry plant,
so I gotta go find some dewberries, and plant on that back fence, or maybe not, but I would like to fix up that rose bush,
I'd like to see, you used to come over here in springtime, boo pow, the mizelli is popping, the roses popping,
and it just looked like a sacred garden she was driving into, I'd like to see that again, I appreciate that beauty.
There's fire, I'm a bit of an artist myself, and a lover of artist for sure,
and still I've never seen anything man has created as beautiful as what nature creates,
but you know, good lord, whatever you believe in, provided this.
Them roses, boy, they were something when they were just popping out there.
I'd like to see them again, I want to tell y'all a little bit about, sorry, I gotta fix something here on my phone,
I'm tackling an ambitious project over the next few years, I'm redoing my whole office,
but I'm also just organizing that kind of shit, I ain't spending no money on it,
but I have those cool artwork on hang, I hadn't got to hang, it's all sitting under my desk stacked up,
and some of my stuff y'all sent me, I want to move into my office,
shit like that, I really want to take my piston bookends that Blair made me,
my Yamaha 750 piston bookends, and take those in my office and set up a bookshelf,
because I'm being asked to read all these books now, and I've been asked to do a few blurbs for books,
and I'm about to start a new thing, where I start just reading,
it's just the content thing where I'm just going to read excerpts of some of my favorite books,
a passage or two, we're also bringing something new to the wrecking yard,
it's not going to take away from anything, it's just a new thing,
but as a writing exercise I've decided to start writing a short fictional story every week,
and I'm going to read it, and it'll have different themes and shit like that,
probably try to tie it into the theme, whatever the wrecking yard is,
but just it's an idea I had and I think it's a fun one,
and we're going to say it's going to be short stories,
let me tell y'all about Poncho Claus,
I have done just a little bit of charitable work in my life,
not a lot, I've spent most of my life scratching to survive,
and far too focused on my own needs to worry about other people, I have,
I have done some habitat for humanity building,
and for a few years we used to do this thing with my little construction company called,
it was like a secret Santa type thing where we would go out and do,
I would have people send me information by other people that needed some work done,
and if it was something I could swing and afford to pay the guys to do,
I'd go get it done for, especially if it's something I already had materials for,
sometimes it's just fixing some concrete steps,
we would go around on Christmas, we'd do one or two of those things for,
there's usually elderly couples up in Montgomery County,
elderly people that were on a fixed income needed a little help,
I've done a lot, it always made me feel good to do it,
but it was stressful and I haven't done a lot of stuff,
I've been involved in charitable stuff a lot,
and we started doing this Driven Dreams,
I was on the die-cast breakdown last year,
and they told me about this charity called DrivenDreams.org,
and it was right on brand for me,
they wanted to raise as many die-cast cars for children as they could
for the end of the year for Christmas and stuff,
and I just thought it was a bang up idea,
and I love those guys up there for creating this,
and the best part about it is it's not something that you have to be beholden to,
you can kind of do it your own pace,
I couldn't do the day of giving the same day as they do it
because I still had people sending me die-cast cars,
and I wanted to make sure everyone of them got some kids' hand.
And literally I went and took all the donations,
dropped them off, and another huge box showed up in the PO box full of Hot Wheels cars,
and I had to take them with me.
So December 24th, Pancho on Christmas Eve, Pancho does a really big event,
and it's his biggest event of the year,
and they hold it over there where his place is,
over here on the north side,
and it's like a big old office building,
a big open area in the bottom.
And they set up lines and everything,
and they stack toys and presents,
and these are for the kids that really just,
most of the people that come to this thing
come from an invite from Pancho Claus
because they wrote him a letter
and told him about some stuff they were going,
they had problems with ICE this year,
a lot of it's immigrants,
problems with ICE, problems with losing their job,
this and that kind of stuff, whatever it is.
But Pancho says, you know,
people will sit down and write me a little letter
that tells me they need help,
and I'm not here to bet on them,
I'm just here to help these people.
But these are the kids that really just don't get nothing
if somebody doesn't step in.
These are kids that parents are always struggling to get by,
just to keep the lights on.
And that resonates with me.
I've been, my parents were always able to do for me for Christmas,
and I've always been able to do for my kids for Christmas.
But I didn't realize how fortunate I was in that aspect.
Yeah, I've worked hard for it,
but it also takes a little luck.
It takes some things going away.
But not everybody gets those things going away.
And so Pancho does this event,
and I don't know how many kids were at this event.
I felt like I seen a thousand.
But these are children from infants
on up to 16, 17 years old, teenagers.
And they had special gifts for teenagers
and stuff like that.
And we had donated a whole bunch of these Hot Wheels,
nearly 2,000 Hot Wheels to Pancho.
No, no, no, no.
A little over a thousand, Pancho.
Some tracks and stuff that,
mostly it's you guys sent in.
And it, this was like such a cool,
like I wasn't, you know, I didn't buy all these things.
People just sent them out of the goodness of their heart.
People sent them out of kindness.
I just got to be the messenger of kindness
to take them over there.
And Pancho came up to me on a serious note
and he said, I just want to tell you that
your fans saved the day.
Because the one thing they always struggle with
and yeah, I hate to generalize things like this,
but are boys presents.
They struggle, they don't get enough of them every year.
And people always want to do for the girls
and stuff like that,
but people forget little boys sometimes
and that kind of stuff.
And they were really lacking in donations this year.
They were struggling.
Pancho's had heart surgery.
He's had a lot of trials this year.
He hasn't been able to be as present as he usually is
because he's getting older, his health is failing.
And the man works it.
No profit to himself.
In fact, a detriment probably.
Pancho's been one of those guys just getting by as long as I know him,
but he does for these kids.
And I've known Pancho for a long time.
Been a fan for much longer.
Pancho was so excited that we brought his donations.
He said, why don't you come?
I said, is there an event I can come volunteer at and help out at?
And I was going to be out town all weekend.
I said, but I'll be back from the Christmas shows right before Christmas Eve.
And I've talked to my kids and they're okay to be leaving the house
and going and doing for some other people,
which I thought I sat down and had a conversation with them about it.
Pancho said, hell yeah, man.
He said, if you can be up here about 1030 in the morning,
I'll get you set up, tell you what I need you to do.
And the event goes on about two o'clock.
And we're going to give out a bunch of toys.
We're going to make a bunch of kids happy,
give them what they need.
I said, all right, let's do it.
So I went up there Christmas Eve at 1030 in the morning.
So before that though, we have a tradition here in Texas.
Texas, a lot of people do tamales on Christmas Eve.
And it's just a big deal here has been since I was a kid,
since I can remember.
And me and Rachel of course always participate.
We like do our Christmas Eve tamales and Christmas tamales.
And I didn't really want to do a bunch of cooking this year.
I just wanted to hang out with the kids, enjoy Christmas.
And Rachel was already doing a bunch of baking.
I said, why don't we just do tamales for a Christmas dinner?
You know, there's a place here right down the street from us
called Alamo Tamale.
They've been in business for every day.
Rachel's grandma and them used to go buy tamales from
when it was just a little, a little hut you drove up to,
you know, now they got a nice building and you'll get
lying there.
You're being lying about 45 minutes to get those tamales,
but it's always a good time.
They got Christmas music going.
Everybody's in a good mood and the line moves fast.
So I got there early in the morning and pick up our
Christmas Molly.
So I come by here and drop them off.
I go back to do Poncho Claus's event.
Nope.
I'm telling you all this wrong.
I'm getting my days confused.
Day before Christmas Eve, I go to get tamales.
I go get in line.
I'm in line for just a little bit and larger Latino people,
mostly local Mexican folks in the neighborhood.
This dude walks up to me.
He says, Hey man, my name's Kenneth.
I'm a huge fan of yours.
I watch all your videos and all that kind of stuff.
And he kind of get a picture with you.
I was like, hell yeah, bro.
So we, we snap a selfie together.
I shake his hand and talk to him a little bit.
He walks off.
There's a handful of Abuela Spanish grandmothers up and down
the line.
And they don't know who I am.
They don't have a clue.
They've never seen a Truck Astrology video,
Reckard Yardee that shit.
But all they knew was this dude come up and took a picture
would be like I was famous and they got excited.
And so the Abuela start coming up me and go,
I need to get a picture with you for my grandkids.
Then I have a clue who I am.
But I ended up taking pictures with all these old grandmothers.
And then I had to take their phone and type my name in.
So they go tell their grandkids who they took a picture with.
And it was just delightful.
It just tickled the shit out of me.
No way.
And before I was up, I got them tamales.
Anyways, I go over there, Chris received the Dupontio
causes event.
And they have set up an entire booth in the line for the kids
to come through the line.
That is nothing but hot.
We got about 300 Hot Wheels displayed on the table
in their packages.
And I got a box here.
It's got about another 800 Hot Wheels in it filled up,
just big old box.
And as the kids pick a Hot Wheel,
I replace it with another one.
Keep that table going.
There's another little volunteer working with me.
I have my Santa Claus hat on.
My Santa Claus suspenders looking like a east side Santa Claus,
you know, it's hanging suspenders.
My Poncho Claus shirt on.
It's very festive.
It would be good spirits.
Had me some coffee on the way there.
I was in good mood.
Unusual.
Didn't know what I was in for.
And it was one of the most amazing experiences
I've ever had.
First off for data collection about cars
and what kids like about cars nowadays.
I learned so much.
But second, just the way,
they kind of had it set up weird.
So like the teenage girls or the girls,
yeah, it was like teenage girls.
There was some people that made purses
and donated a bunch of purses.
And so they were kind of telling the girls
like you can have a Hot Wheels.
You can have a purse wherever you want.
You want them to have to like, you know,
that kind of thing.
And what was so funny to me was the girls
that I could, they were like teenage girls,
like 13, 14 year old girls,
12 year old girls would come up
and they'd look at them purses
and they'd look at them Hot Wheels.
And let me tell you, a lot of them chose Hot Wheels.
A lot of them chose Hot Wheels.
And that tickled me.
That made me happy.
One little girl, her mom said,
you want to get a car?
And she said, those are boys toys.
I said cars are for everybody, babe.
And when I said cars for everybody,
she immediately goes, okay, I'll take a car.
Just like that, like that.
She just needs somebody to tell her it's okay.
And I just, oh, it made my heart swell.
You know what I mean?
Like we're just making car people here.
We're making car people.
This is what we're doing.
Oh, it made my heart swell.
The babies that was picking the cars.
They got out of the car.
And then the little kids was calling me.
Oh, I wish I could remember the name.
Something beato, which the volunteer lady told me
she goes, that's like some Spanish cultures.
That's the word they use for Santa Claus.
These little kids called me Santa Claus.
Let me tell you in the interest of scientific data.
I'm the only white dude here.
I'm the only white person working at this event as a volunteer.
And most people in there are Latino.
Most of folks come in Latino.
Some black folks, a handful of white people brought in to kids.
But I'm the only one with the volunteers working.
And most of the volunteers are Latino.
They're from the neighborhood that grew up working with Poncho Claus.
So many young people that excited me too.
Most, a lot of the volunteers and I,
I know it looks good on college applications and crap like that.
But they seemed eager and happy to be there
and eager and happy to participate.
Young people, 20 year olds,
giving up part of their Christmas to go make other kids have a better Christmas.
Maybe they were once recipients.
I don't know.
It was a beautiful thing.
It struck me.
I'm so renewed in the mission of this thing
that I'm going to try to raise enough cars next year
to blow the springs on Mazda.
You know what I mean?
Like I am so renewed in getting to actually participate in this thing.
And it was funny to me because my fans,
so a lot of people sit in just 50 packs of cars,
but most of those 50 packs are themed.
And you can tell that it was my fan base
because I would say the overwhelming majority of the hot wheels
we received as donations were classic cars and pickup trucks.
Some of the newfangled stuff and the weird stuff,
but you didn't see a lot of Lamborghinis, a lot of sports cars.
Now the matchbacks cars,
a lot of them were late model sedan stuff like that.
And in some people you could tell we're collectors
and sit in parts of their collection, parts of their collection
that maybe weren't valuable to them as a collector,
but they knew some kid would enjoy it.
Right?
But that was the bulk of what we had,
the bulk of what we had were classic cars and pickup trucks,
different varieties.
Construction stuff, stuff like that.
He tells my people, he tells my people, right?
Which tickled me too.
There's a little bit of a signature there.
And there was a few girls that asked for pink cars,
which we did not have many pink cars.
The three or four girls asked for them.
I ferreted through the pile until I found them one.
And I got most of them satisfied and taken care of,
got them some little pink car that they was wanting.
But we didn't get many,
I shouldn't say girly, but I don't allow feminine design cars.
How was, does this or you have a lot of that though?
But
what was, what was really crazy.
So somebody sent in, so I'm a Hot Wheels guy, right?
But I don't like, I never was into all the like really kind of weird,
weird stuff.
I had a bubble car when I was a kid, the bubble rod,
and I liked that one.
But I liked the big engines, classic cars, that kind of thing.
Low riders, I love low, we got a lot of low riders.
I love low riders.
Low riders were not popular.
Nobody was picking them.
I was bad.
I was like, those are all the cars I want.
But they were not popular.
They were not getting picked, not even in the hood,
which surprised me a little bit.
But
where was I going with that?
There was something funny.
It was, oh, so somebody I noticed as I was going through the cars
had clearly sent in some part of their collection or something,
or they had sent it, some people sent it through a toy store,
like a collector's store.
And you can tell they hadn't given them much direction.
So these collector stores sent a lot of duplicates.
You know, probably something that wasn't selling well,
that kind of thing, which I don't care.
A car is a car, a kid's going to enjoy it.
But there was about 10 or 12 of this little Hot Wheels car
that looks like it's a parking cone.
It looks like a parking cone turned into a car.
And I saw those in there and I was like, this lame shit,
who sent this?
My head.
You know, I wouldn't say it out loud, but my head,
I was like, what lame dick sent these parking lot cones?
Who the hell wants a parking lot cone turned into a car?
What? Let me tell you something.
Those were the first cars to go.
Those little boys would walk up that table,
barely be able to see over the table to see all the cars.
And like a radar, they would lock onto that parking lot cone car.
And that was the first one.
I don't know if it was the color or just cones or cooler.
And I thought they were.
I mean, we were gone with those in 20 minutes.
I would put them, I put them out and the kids would just
lock on them and go to them and grab them.
Little kids.
And I was like, man, you don't know shit about cars, Jerry Wayne.
You don't know a damn thing about cars.
Because I wouldn't have guessed that.
Whoo.
And then the cool thing I started noticing was that the girls
were choosing the pickup trucks.
The classic, the old C10 stuff like that.
There was a 75 K5 Blazer.
Some gal, she just, she locked on it.
She goes, oh, my dad's got one like that.
Like it was just, and the girls were picking all the
classic hot rods with big engines.
And you know, the shit I'm into.
And the boys primarily were going for the late model
sedans, the matchbox cars and stuff.
Your regular old, we used to call them country club
Camaro's and Mercedes and the Beamer's and stuff.
But the Steve Harrigan cars, those apparently are
trendy with the boys right now.
And the boys were going for the construction equipment
and also the weird stuff, the weird builds.
But the girls kept coming and they would pick them
pickup trucks or they'd pick them hot rods.
And everyone's about some cute ass for a Lamborghini
or something like that and we would dig around
until we found them some kind of sports car.
It wasn't a lot of that stuff in there.
But it just tickled me.
That was not the way I would have skewed
the way it was going to go.
Show me, I don't know a damn thing about nothing.
I'm telling you, by the end of the day, by two o'clock
I had about 100 cars left on the table
and no cars left in that box.
We had handed out every one of them cars
except there was about 100 cars
and they were going to take those to the next event.
And it just tickled me that those kids just...
And the way they would pick the one they wanted
and they'd find it and they would just be so tickled.
Just show it to their mom and dad and show it to me
and I'd help some of them pick cars.
What are you looking for, you know?
And I kind of knew the lay of the land
and a couple of them, they'd pick the little kids up
and hold them over the table so they could see.
You know what I mean?
It was just a...
My whole country ass, I tell you that.
I just grinned like a frickin' idiot the whole time.
And there was a couple of parents that were kind of
grabby and pushy, you know?
You're going to see that at charity stuff.
There's always some people who are probably
trying to take advantage a little bit.
You're going to get a little bit of that.
But the good far outweighs the bad.
The good far outweighs the bad.
I looked into a lot of parents' eyes
and I tried to meet everyone in their eyes
and speak to them.
The ones that speak English well enough
and most of them could.
But let them know it's okay
because I haven't been in that exact position
but I know what it's like to have you back up
against the door and have trouble making.
And it's a hard thing to ask for help.
Asking for help is one of the hardest things in the world.
And so I tried to make sure that they knew that.
I love you for coming and asking for help
and doing it for your babies
and the way you know how.
This is the way we can do something for your babies.
It was a beautiful thing.
It's a beautiful thing.
A remarkable...
Some guys came out from the local Star Wars
Cosplay chapter dressed up as a Darth Vader
and some Stormtroopers and a Sith Trooper
and a Rebel fighter.
And I found out I'm still a little triggered by Darth Vader.
I was filming Darth Vader
and he came walking up and breathing all weird
and I got a little scared.
I got a little...
Hey now, you stay on that side of the table, Darth.
You know what I mean?
I didn't realize I was still scared of Darth Vader
a little bit.
Now I was turned out.
At some point,
they had sent some volunteers out
out in the park a lot to keep an eye out
because there was reports that there was
an ice raid going on nearby
and that I'm getting the politics of all that.
But it's worrisome.
I mean, take Christmas off, guys.
Something.
I don't know.
It's worrisome to see people have to worry about that.
You know, when they're already just trying to do
for the babies and trying to do something else.
It's worrisome.
It's not who I was raised to be.
It's not who I was raised to believe
my people were about.
But what an amazing event.
It got me, like, really thinking about
some of my past Christmases and stuff growing up.
I was trying to think.
I love Christmas, but I'm not a big,
like, oh, this was the best.
One of my favorite Christmases was
when I was in my 20,
it was after me and Tori had split up.
And me and Joey went around.
There were these little RC mini cars
that had gotten real popular at the time.
They sold them at little kiosks in the mall.
And me and Joey had run around
and bought a bunch of those little RC mini cars.
And we sat up Christmas Eve
playing with those RC mini cars
and having drinks and bullshit.
It was just a good Christmas, you know?
Me and one of us had a girlfriend.
We were just doing our thing, just hanging out,
having a good time.
So I don't have, like, you know what I mean?
I don't get locked in like, oh, this was the best Christmas.
But there is one particular Christmas
that I remember as a child.
And I think I was about nine years old.
It was a year before we moved to Houston.
We still lived in our little house on Sexton Road,
our little gym walkers home.
The year before, I don't remember what they were called,
but the year before,
Bigfoot was really popular back then.
Orange Blossom Special, all the monster trucks.
It was becoming a huge thing.
So this was probably like 86, 87.
And a year before, these monster trucks had come out
that you put batteries in, these plastic monster trucks.
And they had shifters and stuff on the top
so you could drive them.
And they lit up and some of them played music
and had monster truck sounds.
And oh, I wanted some of them monster trucks.
I wanted some, I put them on my Santa list.
I wanted them monster trucks.
Oh, I wanted them monster trucks.
And Christmas come, I didn't get any of those monster trucks.
In fact, we didn't get a whole lot for Christmas that year.
And I know now, because going back and learning about stuff,
my parents were struggling really hard that year.
My parents were really going through some stuff.
Mom was still recovering from her accident,
hadn't been working.
Dad wasn't making much money.
They were just barely getting by and keeping the mortgage paid
on that little Jim Walter house and keeping the lights on.
That same thing, just keeping the lights on
and keeping the food and our bellies.
When you're a kid, you don't know all that.
I was just insanely disappointed Santa didn't bring any of those.
I think that's why we've never done a lot of Santa stuff with our kids.
Our kids, we've always done presents for them
and then Santa brings them a little bit of something.
But we never made a big deal because I remember being as a kid
being so disappointed that not realizing the truth behind the matter.
In fact, I got a pop-up tent from Sears for that Christmas.
They had set it up in the living room
and I played in that pop-up tent, but I was disappointed.
I didn't get those old trucks.
You're a kid. It's easy to get disappointed.
I didn't get those old trucks I wanted.
And I wanted them trucks.
And I guess my daddy and my mama knew how bad I wanted them trucks
because the very next year for Christmas,
we'd come out there and see what Santa Claus brought me and Kimberly.
Sure enough, there was five or four of those monster trucks.
There was Bigfoot, Orange Blossom Special,
a black one that I can't remember what it was, and a gray digger.
And they all had batteries in them and were ready to go.
And I tell you, I drove them monster trucks a million miles.
I run the wheels off them.
Even after we got to Houston for years, I would play with them with my G.I. Joe's
until their motors were stripped and they were basically just push toys.
And they didn't make any sounds anymore,
and especially at Orange Blossom Special.
Boy, I just thought that was the coolest thing in the world.
It had the coolest sounds.
I always remember that cry.
I remember how excited I was.
I took them over to Pop-On Granny's house and showed them Pop-On Granny.
And then we walked down to Uncle Bobby and Aunt Tanya's house.
I showed them off to Uncle Bobby and Aunt Tanya and showed them how they could drive in the dirt
and how they made the sounds.
And I have found out since then as an adult, actually speaking to my mother,
not long before she died, was that I was telling her about that Christmas
and I got those trucks the year later.
And she said, Dad had found them on clearance after Christmas.
And he had gotten just a little bit of a bonus check from his company
and his mom went and bought all those trucks for me for the next grade
and held them all year for the next Christmas.
And that's a Christmas I really remember.
And it's not just that.
I remember we had a big Christmas party at Pop-On Granny.
Pop-On Granny where the Christmas party type of bike came over there
and they had some drinks and the music was going.
You know, one of the things I've become disillusioned with
is the Christmas tour over the years.
And it's not even necessarily disillusioned,
but it's all based on William Lee Martin's Christmases he grew up with
and he grew up different than I did.
He grew up a lot more cowboy, shall we say.
And they had different music than we grew up.
We, I didn't grow up.
I grew up, yeah, we had all the religious music away in the manger,
Silent Night and all that stuff.
But the Christmas parties at Pop-On Granny's house was pretty purple snowflakes
and what Christmas means to me by Stephen Wonder.
It was a lot of pop Christmas, you know what I mean.
You hear a little Bing Crosby and David Bowie.
It was just, you know, it was a little more pop influence Christmas.
And I think if I ever do my own Christmas show,
I'll have some of that music.
You know, Merry Christmas Baby by Otis Redden, that kind of stuff.
Not so much of the country and overly religious stuff.
As much as I enjoy the religious stuff, you know.
That's a Christmas I really remember.
The other Christmas I really remember is the year.
I mean, I had an inkling already.
You're not stupid as a kid.
You hear your friends talk, but I was a late believer in Santa Claus.
I think most of us can remember the period of time
where we weren't sure it was real anymore.
And, but we didn't want to not believe it anymore.
Even though all signs were pointing to it probably was our parents, you know.
And it was the year I kind of like really found out for sure.
I think it was either the year I was 11 or 12.
And Santa Claus brought us bicycles that year.
New Huffy bicycles from Walmart.
And the way I found out that maybe it was all something else was
I happened to wake up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve.
And I crept to the door.
They wanted to look out in the room to see if I could catch a peek.
The old man, the old Santa Claus himself, you know.
Maybe he'd already been there.
And I'd get the first look at what he brought us and I crept out there.
And there's nothing going on in the living room.
And I walked out in the living room, but the door to the garage was open.
And I could hear tools and stuff in the garage in time.
And then I heard my dad go into a tirade.
He was apparently working on Kimberly's bicycle and one of the training wheel nuts was stripped or not going on right.
And the old man went to cussing and muttering under his breath.
And I heard a tirade of shit that I do was not Santa Claus cussing no bicycle.
And I went back to bed and laid with that disappointment knowing that what I suspect was true is mom and dad doing this stuff.
And I remember I was a little dejected next.
I was excited about the bicycle, but I was a little dejected about finding out it was all whatever you want to call it.
And we were having Christmas dinner later on that evening.
We had already been out riding our bicycles and all that kind of stuff.
And I was sitting by dad at the dinner table and Kimberly was sitting on the other side of me and mom was sitting on the other side of the table.
Dad was sitting at the other table.
We had already prayed.
We were eating.
And my mom was talking about Santa Claus stuff.
Well, Santa and Kimberly was gushing about all the stuff Santa had brought her.
And I popped something.
I was a little smart aleck kid and I popped something out.
I go, yeah, I heard Santa having a custom fit in the garage trying to build Kimberly's bicycle.
And my dad looked at me as a boy, not another word.
Like his eyes narrowed and like I was about to ruin Christmas for my sister.
And he, not another word gave him a narrowed eyes and I couldn't, I pushed farther.
I don't remember exactly what I said, but so well, maybe it wasn't Santa.
Maybe, you know, it was something like to be honest.
The boy sounded familiar.
Something smart aleck.
And I just remember my dad's hand rocketing across the table and just open smacking me
across the side of the head and knocked me out of my chair.
Kimberly didn't know what was going on.
My mom freaked out.
And one man said, I said, not another word.
Get your ass up here and eat.
And I got up there sobbing and finished the rest of my dinner.
We never spoke about it.
But then my mom pulled me aside later.
She said, don't ruin Christmas for your sister.
She still bullied Santa Claus.
Yes, ma'am.
That's not why I was out there.
I just want to show them that I knew.
I caught a right hand from the old band over it and decided it wasn't worth telling them what I knew.
Boy, he had a temper back in.
I think my oldest kid is hip.
He's hip to the game.
Judy's too smart not to be.
But I think Judy just enjoys the season and rolls with it.
Noah, I don't know what that kid knows.
He's so smart.
It's hard for me to...
But he's hard to get one over on.
But he still talks about Santa.
He still loves that stupid elf on the shelf.
Boy, I wish we never brought that damn thing on.
He just sat there every night trying to cook up a different scheme for that dumbass elf to do.
I'm very choked at something.
I can't wait for him.
Glad he goes back to North Pole every year.
We did a fun thing this year.
We bought this big Tetris game from Costco.
And it's like a big stand-up and it teeter-totters.
And it's got the Tetris pieces.
They're big in plastic.
And as a family, you take turns rolling this big rubber dice
and playing the Tetris piece you have to play and see how high you can get it.
It's almost like Tetris Jenga before it falls apart.
And we've had a lot of good time.
We also weigh earlier in the year when the Switch 2s had released.
Rachel found one on a special deal on sale from Costco earlier in the year.
And we had pulled up our little bit of money and bought it.
We've been sitting on that about half a year and we're excited.
So we've all been playing video games too.
We've all been sitting around playing Mario Kart World and having a great time at games.
It's just fantastic.
And it was nice to just, it was nice to go do that event and be able to do something useful myself
and feel helpful and then also have the privilege to come home and just unplug and be with my family.
Don't worry about any content.
Don't worry about that kind of thing.
Just take a break for a few days, get my head on straight.
I got a bunch of new ideas.
I'm excited about this month at home working stuff.
I've got this new sketch I've been working on and I think it's so freaking funny.
But it's basically if William Faulkner and Cormac McCarthy sat down and had a drink together
and had an argument over the importance of brevity and punctuation.
And I've almost got to Cormac McCarthy.
Faulkner is easy for me to do, but Cormac McCarthy has a particular way when he speaks
and though he writes in a very brief manner, he speaks superfluously.
It's a purpose.
He speaks about a great many things and he's kind of got an old East Texas thing about it.
You know, and he don't say millions.
He says millions, millions, you know, and he's got a funny way of speaking.
So I've got to realize I spent all this time trying to get his accent down the way he speaks
and realize most people probably don't even know how Cormac McCarthy speaks.
They expect him to sound like his book and he doesn't.
He doesn't talk like he writes at all.
The way he speaks is fantastic.
Faulkner very much spoke in the manner which he wrote.
Just one long run on sort of very flowery language.
He was a pompous indulgent drunk, you know, and that's what I love about him.
I'm a bit of a pompous indulgent drunk myself when I write, so I enjoy that about him.
So he's easy enough to do.
Anyway, I think that sketch is going to be funny.
I got some shop talk stuff I'm working on.
I'm excited.
We're going to have a fun first of the year putting out some new content.
The cameo stuff, bro.
I got asked to do a cameo for Tom Baudette.
And most people know Tom Baudette as the Motel Six Guy.
We'll leave you light on for you.
But Tom Baudette, storyteller, writer, old school radio man from way back in the day.
He's on the NPR, does a thing called Wait, Don't Tell Me.
It's like a little show.
He's on there all the time.
Really funny guy.
Tom Baudette is a old school creative and his wife got into cameo and sent me a request
to do a special cameo for Tom Baudette because she said he was a fan and he really loved
my Faulkner videos.
And he's like, he's like 70.
He's a woodworker in Vermont now.
And I just, it was just, to me, it was like a full circle thing.
Like this is one of the voices I want to be like.
This is one of the dudes that really tickles.
Tom Baudette, I've read some of his, some of his writing, some of his books.
And he had a beautiful way of writing warm without being overly sentimental.
My beer into overly sentimental, but Tom was very good at writing warm without
veering into the overly sentimental area.
He just, he had an act about Tom, the way Tom told a story.
It seemed like he was working on something.
He just had time to tell you this story.
Tom is like, he was an incredible writer.
I had such a fun time doing his cameo for him.
And then I posted the screenshot from the request for the cameo on
Facebook to share with people.
Like, this is crazy.
Can't believe I got to ask to do a cameo for Tom Baudette.
Now when you go into cameo and you make a request because you're asking
for a personalized video from a stranger to a stranger.
I don't know half these people asking for videos.
You have to put in your pronouns.
You have to put in, you know, he, him, they, they, whatever it is
you want for your pronouns.
So that when I make your personalized video, especially if you're a
Pat, Carrie, Terry, Tracy, Stacy, Hillary, you know, any of those
androgynous names that I know who I'm talking to.
Right.
It's just a part of the app.
So it's in there.
So behind everybody's name is show their pronouns.
And of all the people just in enjoyment and leave the light
on and think about Tom Baudette.
There was two or three of these dudes that I read it right up to
I got pronouns for ain't about that nonsense, which is just the
wildest takeaway from that that I can begin to imagine.
And I don't care what your hang up is about it.
Honestly, I think it's stupid.
I don't care what you think about gender.
It's not that big a deal for me.
It's just I was raised to treat people with some respect and I
call people what they want to be called.
Regardless what that pronoun is, regardless of what that gender
is, what I treat people the way they want to be treated the
way they asked me to treat them.
That's the way I was raised.
Maybe maybe some people has raised different.
Maybe some people has raised it.
You call people whatever you think they are based on some
inert.
I don't I don't understand it to be honest with you.
I know some people have gotten upset about gender fluidity and
all this sort of thing and I'm getting a politics all that
I think most of it's political driven.
I don't think it's really fact based or anything like that.
It's a human beings have been complicated far longer than
we've been talking about.
Cultures knew that thousands of years ago.
There's plenty of there's plenty of information out there on
that language knew it centuries ago.
English has been using day for a single person since before
electricity before plumbing before.
Anybody watching this podcast was born.
So these people acting like it's a new thing.
It's just new to them.
It's not new to anybody else who's read or understand.
They is used as a singular in the Bible.
They is used as a singular by Chaucer.
This is a very old concept.
This is not new information, but somebody's decided to weaponize
it and make it a political talking point.
And that's why it's become a problem.
So I wish I don't have bandwidth for those people.
I don't have if you're you're grown as human and and and
you have enough space in your life to be triggered about that.
We don't have anything in common.
I don't have the bandwidth to deal with.
Sorry.
I don't.
I don't have the bandwidth to deal with triggers about that.
I just don't.
I don't.
I got it.
Sorry.
Maybe I should maybe I should be better.
But I just.
I wish people understood that everything they don't understand is
not aimed at them.
Not every change is an insult.
The world doesn't owe anybody a pause button while they catch up
emotionally.
You know.
I think people confuse resistance with righteousness sometimes
and and the future isn't confused.
The world's going to keep moving.
It's just done waiting on people like that.
So I just don't I was so surprised that people that that's
what folks and it was just a few.
It's just a handful of people got all hung up on it.
And but regardless, they're all hung up on it because they're
making some wild assumption about it when really in the app
it asked for it because it's necessary when you're making
personal pronouns or a literary tool that been used since
the beginning of writing.
So I don't know.
I just I was really surprised by that.
Bottom line is I got to do a cameo for Tom Baudette and I
feel on top of the world about that know that Tom Baudette
watches my stuff.
Mr. I did.
Of course I ended the cameo was I said Tom, you know,
I know you're a storyteller and a creative.
Great writer and as a fellow storyteller and writer and
creative who has driven millions of miles across this
country telling stories and looking for a place to lay
my head afterwards.
I appreciate you leaving the light on for me.
I did find something.
I was doing research on Tom because I wanted to really
know his cameo and and found out that Motel six was called
Motel six because when they first came out they rented in
the 60s.
They wanted a radically cheap room and they rented their
rooms for $6 a room in the 60s that was radically cheap for
the 60s.
$6 room.
You had a shared bathroom at the end of the hallway with
other residents other other visitors.
But it was a $6 room Motel six.
That's how I got the name.
Super eight came in the 70s and super eights rooms were 888
when they first started renting them and they're 888
what they said you got for that extra $2.88 which you got
a private bathroom in your room and a little TV.
And that was super eights whole spiel.
Yeah, Motel six is nice, but 888 you get your own
bathroom tickled me.
And if you want to be triggered about my thoughts about
pro down fee be triggered be mad.
It's probably not gonna bother me too much.
I'm going on moving on baby.
World got too much offer get hung up and stuff you
don't understand there's plenty of things I don't
understand.
You know, but sometimes I just go well maybe it's
not for me.
Maybe it's not for me to understand.
Maybe it's just something for me to acknowledge and go
on my life.
That's what I do.
I don't have bandwidth.
I don't know if it's growing up working blue collar.
We didn't have extra time for that sort of thing.
That kind of if you had it showed up on job sites.
I was working on be like I go by they them.
One of my bosses would look at you and be like,
all right, they will pick up that hook and get
climbing that tower.
That's just all that mattered.
I don't think it's guys from that world that get
worried about it.
I think it's people too much time on their hands.
I'm excited about this month off.
I'm excited to get spend some time working on
some new things.
I was feeling a little exhausted towards the end of
the year.
A little burnout and now I'm feeling renewed again.
I'm ready to get back after it.
Ready to start collecting hot wheels.
Ready to start writing some new stuff.
Some new sketches.
I got some themed truck Astrology's planned.
I think it's going to be fun.
Just just ready to get a little more creative.
I've expanded my studio since I cleaned out
all the hot wheels.
I did some cleaning in here.
Y'all can't see it, but I've organized my work
bench a little better.
Did not get the lawnmower put back together,
but that's coming next.
Try to make enough room.
Get the Cadillac in here so I can change the
wheel speed sensors on it.
Hopefully get the remaining lights off.
Did a...
Got a mountain of leaves to deal with,
but it's been kind of damp here and it's impossible
to deal with these leaves when they're damp
because they just stick to the sidewalk.
We got a couple cool dry days coming this week.
I'm going to get out there with the leaf blower
so we can go crazy and burn some leaves.
And I'm looking forward to that
getting a little time outside the butts and putts.
Let's wrap it up right there.
Let's do some testimonials from last week.
Got them all. I'm on top of it today.
It's Sunday here.
I'm recording this about one o'clock.
I need to get a move on.
I got to get this thing edited
and uploaded for y'all.
All right.
At Toad Liver.
That's funny. I like that name.
These are comments from last week's episode.
What did I do last week?
Hell, I don't even remember.
It feels like it's been a month since last week.
These are comments.
Oh, I had just come off the road.
I was exhausted.
I was telling y'all about the Christmas show.
That kind of stuff.
I'm going to deliver.
Brother, I genuinely appreciate your weekly podcast.
I grew up in West Texas, Oklahoma.
And now I'm back to my roots in San Antonio.
My old man used to say, tougher and granny stick.
I'm new to your channel,
but I must exclaim that you are a breath of fresh air.
I see that you're exhausted.
I hope you get the opportunity to recharge your batteries.
As I posted my comments,
I saw that you visited both Shawnee and El Reno.
I haven't grown up in Oklahoma for a good chunk of my life.
It's not terribly surprising that you might get a lukewarm welcome from certain towns,
especially El Reno.
Well, for what is worth,
I now reside in Great State of Texas,
have no immediate plans to return to Oklahoma in the near future.
I know you had a bad experience in San Antonio and Traffical,
but if you're in the area again,
I'll make sure my wife and I visit your tour.
Wishing you, your wife and the cat.
Merry Christmas.
Fly Prospero.
I love San Antonio.
San Antonio is always on my list.
Even though the traffic was awful and shit like,
but the San Antonio traffic is always awful.
You know, it's just one of the places like that.
But San Antonio is always on my list.
So I play a club there called Upstage Comedy Lounge overall.
Is it Waldorf?
Walser.
Walser has some weird name like that.
Walsum Road.
Walsum Road.
Anyways, I'm sure I'll be back there this year.
That club was closing down.
They managed to keep it open.
So I'm sure I'll be back there this year.
Always had a great time coming through San Antonio.
I probably won't get to hit it as many times this year
because it's getting crazy for 2026.
Y'all know about the Ireland shit and we're building on to that.
And my beautiful manager has just gone to town
and really cut loose.
And there's just ain't no telling where you're going to see J.W.
This year, things are getting kind of crazy, you know.
I'm really excited.
I got a big ass show in Nackadoches at the Lamplight Theater.
I'm hoping to get a sell out there.
And Nackadoches is a good size college town.
So there's a little deep well to draw from and surrounding counties.
And I'm going back to Austin to the Vulcan.
And I love the Vulcan Gas Company.
And I'm really psyched about the headline of the Vulcan Gas Company.
They didn't just give me a weeknight.
They gave me a weekend night.
They gave me a Friday night.
And for context, for those of you from like outside of the area
that maybe don't know, you know, Austin has become a huge comedy spot.
It's always been a good comedy town.
It's come a huge comedy spot since Joe Rogan moved there
during the pandemic, brought a bunch of his acolytes with him.
And he built this huge club called the Comedy Mothership
that has become very famous very quickly.
Thanks to his endorsement.
And it's a beautifully built place.
And it is right next door to the Vulcan Gas Company.
And the night I'm headlining the Vulcan Gas Company.
I got worried.
I was like, why didn't they give me a weekend night?
Is Ron White at the mothership?
Am I going to have to try to sell tickets against Ron White?
Because that's not going to go good for me.
You know what I mean?
That's going to be tough marketing.
But it's Bonnie McFarland.
And I know Bonnie and Bonnie's a terrific comic.
But I don't mind competing with Bonnie for tickets.
I will go ahead to have with Bonnie.
I think that's a fair fight.
And I look forward to selling a lot of tickets
to the Vulcan Gas Company on Friday night.
Maybe raising some eyebrows around there
about what old boy that they won't let in can do.
You know?
So we'll see.
I'm psyched about that one.
I'll definitely go back to Oklahoma.
I'm probably just going to go to Oklahoma City though.
I enjoyed my time in Shawnee.
Had a great experience in Shawnee.
I was having the crap before the show.
The show was fantastic.
The people afterwards were fantastic.
I have noticed in the smaller towns
I have trouble selling tickets.
And I don't think it's because those people don't like me
or anything like that.
But smaller towns have their own rhythm.
They have their own important events.
They've got other stuff going on throughout their week
that keeps their attention wrapped up.
And there's a sense of community there
and they're involved with stuff like that.
And then also it's hard to market to small towns.
Because when you go out to buy advertising
it's hard to say,
well I just want to buy advertising El Reno
where you might have a large population
that ain't even on Instagram.
You know what I mean?
They're just hard to market.
I'm not punishing these small towns.
It's just I can't make money going there.
And at the end of the day this is a for-profit business.
It just is.
I have to make money when I go out on the road.
Otherwise I can't afford to go out on the road.
I have to make money.
And I just do better when I go to towns
with a good size.
Oklahoma City.
I do good in Houston.
I do good in San Antonio.
I do good in DFW.
I do good in Louisville.
I'm going to branch out to Atlanta this year.
I'm hoping maybe get to Mobile, Alabama.
Pensacola, Florida.
Jacksonville, Florida.
Some towns I'd like to get up to Detroit.
I'd like to get in some places
where it's a good size town
that I can draw from for advertising.
You know, maybe not in Boston
but maybe right on the outskirts of Boston
where people from Boston could easily come to a show.
Because I got fans all over the place.
I got people all over the place that want to see me.
I want to get out to the West Coast more.
I want to do some stuff out in California.
Especially in that Central Valley, California area
and the northern part of California.
I got a lot of fans in those areas.
Washington.
Up in the Pacific Northwest.
So I just got a, you know,
Washington, I probably need to go to Spokane.
Spokane's probably a good town for me in Washington.
It's a good enough size city
that I can advertise well in.
Maybe even
Olympia
or somewhere outside of Seattle.
You know, I want to get down to Oregon,
like Eugene, Oregon
and maybe somewhere outside of Portland.
You know, where the country folks is.
But I find I do far better
when I go to a place that's kind of centralized
that a lot of people from a lot of area
can come to
and it's a place that has a lot of hotels
and other stuff to do because what happens,
like when I go to Louisville,
I have to drive from all over the place
for four or five hours to come to Louisville
to see me and they make it an event.
They come and they spend the night
and they go do something.
They go do a distillery tour or whatever
and then they come to the show
and so there's something to offer them.
You know, people aren't going to drive to El Reno.
There's nothing to do in El Reno, you know.
And if I can't draw from the actual town,
then it makes it a hard sell
in a place for me to make money.
So it's not a punishment.
Let's see.
At the Croncraft
The Croncraft show.
Oh, that's our old buddy 4227.
J.W., I'm super excited to meet you
when you visit Ireland.
I'm definitely coming to at least one of your shows.
You are standing on the edge of something
myself, your fans be cheering you on.
Great podcast as always.
Enjoy your downtime when your family will see you
on the next one.
Hell yeah, Bubba.
Yeah, man.
I'm super psyched about
Ireland stuff. That's great.
I have to keep pinching myself because I can't even believe it.
I'm actually reading my friend
over there, the promoter.
I'm reading her book right now
and it's pretty magical so far.
I'm pretty wrapped up and I'll talk to you guys about it
when I finish reading it.
I think it's called the final resting place
for a butterfly. Her name is Elizabeth Redman.
Very talented.
She's always been a talented writer.
I'm enjoying it.
Hell yeah, Bubba.
I'm excited to meet folks in Ireland.
I've been reading it.
All the things not to do when you're Ireland
as a dumb American so that I'll make no faux pas.
Probably speaking French
is a thing not to do in Ireland.
Probably saying faux pas
is a faux pas in Ireland, I imagine.
My brother
went to Ireland
and he ordered a black and tan
at a bar
and he didn't know
but that's like an upfront.
That's a thing you don't do in Ireland
because black and tan
goes back to like military stuff
and it's people that like rated them
and it's not good.
They just
they ain't gonna make you a black and tan.
It's called a half and half or something else
and they don't even do it.
But yeah, the order of black and tan in Ireland
I learned about that.
I think sometimes people do stuff
like that they just don't think about it.
There was a
Irish bar here
quote unquote for the people listening
Irish bar here in Houston
and one deer
they did Sunday bloody
Sunday
Bloody Marys
and I was like
hey
I don't know
I mean I know it's a cool song by YouTube
but maybe you should google Sunday
Bloody Sunday
it's probably not a good drink promotion
probably not the best way
to promote drink sales.
It's a little, it's a pretty violent
terrible situation.
People just don't think they hear something that works
and go with it.
At Chuck Packwood
our youngest son
is autistic also
and a hug is something special
when he will actually let me hug him.
Yeah, so that's
when Noah gives you affection
he's been sick for a couple of days.
Junie got sick at his
performance and then Noah got
sick and Noah hates
being sick. He hates taking medicine.
He gets so angry about it
but
when Noah gives you affection
it's very real.
He does not do it. We've never made him
do that to people.
We've never made him give her by a hug and kiss
all that kind of shit. We didn't do that with either one of our kids.
We wanted them to have autonomy over their own body
and that starts when they're very young
and so we didn't make them do that shit.
But when Noah comes
and gives you a hug it's because
he just wants some love
wants to come give you some hug and it's rare.
When Noah tells you he loves you
it's rare. But it's
a little more meaningful because
when he
decides to tell you that
he can turn my whole day around sometimes.
I'm having
kind of a shitty little
struggle of a day, you know.
I love you daddy and boy
I know he does.
You know what I mean?
I know he does because he won't just say that shit.
Yeah.
I know exactly what you're talking about Chuck.
I know you know exactly what I'm talking about.
It's just a
it's a little more
for them that don't give it often.
You know?
I grew up with granddaddy.
He loved you very much. But when he did boy
you listen because
old man didn't tell you that kind of thing too often.
You know?
All right. Let's wrap
this thing up.
We've been 15 different directions.
I just mostly was excited
to get on here and talk to y'all.
But this is a big thing. It's the end of the year.
2025 is coming to a close.
Whatever it was, whatever it's been
is it at this point.
We're days away from 2026.
Days away.
I don't get to
back up in New Year's resolutions.
I used to.
Don't get me wrong. I used to do that.
I'd
tack up a long
hopeful list of things
I swore
I was done with.
Like I was nailing
my sins to the wall
and calling it an encounter.
But I don't think it works.
I don't think it motivates so much
because it keeps score.
You set these big shining
unreasonable promises
and then time does what it always does.
It passes and different
and undefeated.
And that list turns from encouragement
into evidence.
That builds resentment.
You know?
Because it's evidence of what you didn't fix.
What you didn't accomplish.
What you didn't outrun.
What you didn't become.
That kind of witness.
That kind of
these days I prefer to take stock
at the end of the year.
Not of what I meant to do
but of what actually happened while I was
busy surviving.
Every every small
victory that didn't look
like much of a victory at the time
but and then the hard lessons
that left marks on me. Battles I
walked away from carrying
less certainty and more truth
but nothing resembling
victory.
This was a tough year
for a lot of folks.
Despite
any claims and propaganda
it definitely cost us all more
to be alive this year.
We saw a lot of division and pain
country is hurting.
This is the kind of year
that took things from me quietly
and handed them back
later as wisdom but only if you were
paying attention.
But congratulate yourself
for making it through.
Before you make next year
crueler than it needs to be with
impossible expectations.
Take stock of your people
too.
Notice who stood close
when things went a little quiet.
Notice who only
seemed to remember you when you
was useful.
It's not bitterness
it's just clarity
earned the hard way.
Instead of resolution sit with
revelations about your year.
What you endured
what you learned to carry what you
finally learned to lay down.
That's the stock of 2025
that was your resolution that's
what you done.
Time keeps moving whether we're ready or not
in fact you're still standing in it matters.
You're here
and it counts.
I'm rooting for you.
I tell you that every week
and at some point
you're going to have to believe it I'm rooting for you.
Is 2026
your year? Is it my year?
Who the hell knows?
You got a clue?
What I do know
is we beat the piss out of 2025 though.
2025 is done and in the back.
And you had to take stock of it.
I'm taking stock of it right now.
It was a hard year but it was a good year.
Done some things.
Wrote a book.
2025 was a good year.
Hard year.
I hope you can look back
at your 2025
and find some things that you
unconscious of things that give you
go you know what I scrambled
and I fought to get through this year
but by God I did this and this.
By God I fixed this
or I at least
understood this better.
I think you will if you sit down with it a minute.
See something that's not quite right? Our annotations are AI-generated and can sometimes miss the mark.
Click the flag icon on any annotation to suggest a correction.