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Term
air-cooled
“Air-cooled” means the engine is cooled by air flowing over it, not by coolant in a radiator. Some older cars—like classic Beetles—are known for this type of setup.
Car
air-cooled beetle
This is talking about a classic Volkswagen Beetle. The key detail is that it uses an air-cooled engine, meaning it’s cooled by air instead of liquid coolant.
Term
slammed
“Slammed” means the car is lowered a lot so it sits very close to the ground. People usually do it to change the look of the car.
Car
Nissan R34
A Nissan Skyline R34 is a well-known Japanese performance car. “Millennium Jade” is a particular paint color, so it’s basically describing the car’s exact color and model.
Term
driver aid
A driver aid is a safety feature that helps the driver, like warnings or assist systems. The speaker is saying the driver didn’t pay attention to those helps, and the alerts were hard to feel because the car was bouncing and shaking.
Term
haptic feedback
Haptic feedback means the car alerts you by vibrating or “tapping” something you can feel. In this story, the steering wheel was already shaking a lot, so the alert couldn’t be felt clearly.
Car
CX five
The Mazda CX-5 is a small SUV made by Mazda. The speaker is talking about how someone drove it up a steep area without crashing or flipping it.
Car
Toyota Ad
Car
Ford F150
The Ford F-150 is a large truck made for hauling and towing, but many people also use it for regular driving. It’s a very common model, so it’s easy to recognize. The podcast is pointing to a specific older F-150 as a standout example.
Car
Jeep Wrangler
The Jeep Wrangler is an SUV made for off-road driving. Many Wranglers can have the roof and doors removed for open-air driving. The podcast is talking about liking Jeeps in general, with a particular focus on the Wrangler.
Car
Suzuki Jimny
The Suzuki Jimny is a small SUV built to handle rough roads and off-road trails. It’s compact, so it can be easier to drive in tight spaces than bigger SUVs. The podcast is describing it as a tough little vehicle.
Concept
fast lane 2030 plans
This is a company’s long-term plan for what kinds of cars it wants to build by 2030. In this discussion, it’s tied to launching and updating a lot of vehicles over the next few years.
Company
Stellantis
Stellantis is a major car company that makes lots of different brands. Here, they’re talking about how Stellantis is organizing its future car plans using a platform called STLA.
Term
STLA platform
A platform is the shared engineering foundation a car is built on. Stellantis’ STLA platform is their plan to use the same core design ideas across many different models so they can build new cars faster and cheaper.
Term
EVs
EVs are cars that run mainly on electricity from a battery. The segment is talking about how many of the company’s future cars are planned to be electric versus other types.
Term
plug-in hybrid vehicles
A plug-in hybrid vehicle (PHEV) combines a gasoline engine with an electric motor and a battery that can be charged from an external power source. That lets it drive some trips on electricity alone before the gasoline engine takes over.
Term
hybrids
A hybrid uses both gas and electricity. Usually you don’t plug it in—its battery gets charged while you drive, like when you slow down.
Car
Lamborghini Urus
The Lamborghini Urus is a luxury SUV made by Lamborghini. It’s designed to be fast and powerful, not just comfortable. The podcast is mentioning it as a Lamborghini model people recognize.
Term
STLA one platform
A platform is the shared “base” that many cars are built on. Stellantis’ STLA One is meant to let them build lots of different cars using the same core design, which can make new-car development faster and cheaper.
Concept
dev cycle
A dev cycle is the time it takes a company to go from “new car idea” to “ready to build and sell.” The point here is they’re trying to shorten that timeline to keep up with competitors.
Term
OEM
OEM means the company that actually makes the cars (or big parts) that get sold under a brand name. Here, the host is saying Stellantis is paying attention to Chinese car makers that move quickly.
Car
Peugeot On Peugeot
The Peugeot iOn is a small electric car meant for city driving. It runs on electricity instead of using gasoline. The podcast mentions it while talking about what Peugeot will focus on.
Term
pro one line
“Pro One” here means a lineup aimed at work vehicles—things like trucks and vans used for business. The host is saying Stellantis will focus on that category as part of their plan.
Brand
Fiat
Fiat is a car brand under Stellantis. In this segment, it’s mentioned as part of the set of brands they’re planning to focus on.
Brand
Ram
Ram is a truck-focused brand within Stellantis. The host is saying they’ll concentrate on brands like Ram, especially for work vehicles like trucks and vans.
Term
badges
A “badge” is the nameplate on a car—like the brand or model label. The host is saying the same kind of van can be sold under different brand names.
Car
Ram Pro Master
The Ram ProMaster is a work van made by Ram. It’s the kind of vehicle businesses use a lot, and the speaker is talking about how the Ram name shows up on vans in different countries.
Term
badge engineering
Badge engineering is when a company sells the same basic car or van under a different brand name. Usually it’s mostly changed with logos and small styling tweaks, not a whole new vehicle.
Car
Dodge Ram
The Ram is a pickup truck made for tasks like hauling and towing. Many people also use them for everyday driving because they’re versatile. The podcast brings it up as one of the brands being considered.
Car
Chrysler Pacifica
The Chrysler Pacifica is a minivan, which is a vehicle built to carry families and lots of people. It’s designed for comfort and practicality, like easier access and more interior space. The podcast mentions it as part of Chrysler’s lineup.
Car
Chrysler Voyager
The Chrysler Voyager is a minivan, which is a vehicle made to carry families and lots of people. The podcast is talking about it as part of Chrysler’s lineup and mentions that it was removed or discontinued. It’s referenced as a model name that changed over time.
Car
Chrysler 300
The Chrysler 300 is a large sedan, meaning it’s a bigger car built for comfortable driving. It’s known for a distinctive, classic style. The podcast is talking about whether Chrysler should have kept that model going.
Car
Ford Edge
The Ford Edge is a mid-size SUV that’s meant for everyday driving. It’s a crossover, so it’s built more like a car than a truck. The podcast is mentioning it while talking about plans for electric versions.
Car
Dodge Hornet
The Dodge Hornet is a small SUV made by Dodge. Here, the hosts are basically saying that the situation they’re talking about feels like it’s connected to the Hornet—like it’s part of what’s going on with Dodge right now.
Car
Chevrolet Uplander
The Chevrolet Uplander is a minivan. The conversation is using it as an example of how car models can be connected to the same overall design family, even when the brand name changes.
Car
Holden Commodore
The Holden Commodore is a car that was made as a large sedan, with versions that leaned toward sportier driving. It’s the kind of car people talk about when comparing different performance sedans. The podcast mentions it as a comparison point.
Car
Chrysler New Yorker
The Chrysler New Yorker is the name of a large, comfortable car model from Chrysler. People bring it up because it’s a recognizable classic nameplate. In the podcast, it’s used as a preference question.
Car
Chrysler Fifth Avenue
The Chrysler Fifth Avenue is a car model name from Chrysler that was known for being a larger, more upscale sedan. The podcast brings it up as a recognizable name, not as a detailed technical topic. It’s used for a quick reference in the conversation.
Car
Toyota Tacoma
The Toyota Tacoma is a pickup truck that’s smaller than the biggest trucks. People choose it for driving on rough roads and for everyday use. The podcast mentions it because it’s easy to identify as a Tacoma.
Car
Pontiac Am Trans
The Pontiac Trans Am is a sporty performance car model. It’s known for being fun to drive and for its classic, aggressive look. The podcast is recommending it as a fun car.
Car
Toyota Prius
The Toyota Prius is a car that uses a gas engine and an electric motor together. That combination helps it use less fuel than many regular gas cars. The podcast is referencing a special “GT 300” version as something notable.
LIVE
have I obtained your consent to start recording this meeting?
Yes.
Thank you.
I actually think Washington's a two-party state,
so I would need to, yeah.
I mean, theoretically, you do need to, yeah.
Yeah.
OK.
Hello.
Welcome to Episode 18 of Tran Girlismo.
I know that Jordan had previously said on the on the Blue Sky
feed that we're not doing a Pride Month episode, but we are.
I've decided we're doing a Pride Month special, so we're doing it.
I am your host, Victoria Scott.
My pronouns are she and her, and I am here with my co-host,
who I have dragged into this.
Hi, my name is Jordan Hoffsetter.
My pronouns are she and her.
I didn't say that we weren't doing anything.
I'm just saying, because of who we are, is it not always kind of Pride Month?
Are you saying that we're not going to get gay or it's just out?
I feel like a show named Tran Girlismo is extremely subtle
about being openly queer.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
It would be funny if this show was just two like cis guys hanging out.
They're just like, oh, good.
Yeah, Jordan is coming to you live today from the Big Apple.
And she'll be home by the time that you hear this, but, you know.
No, I won't.
This is going out this Thursday.
That's right. I will still be in New York.
It might happen.
I was there as part of it.
It's like, how self-indulgent do I want to be?
Do I want to try to throw up on the the?
I might try to hang out with Amber and a couple other car folks.
So maybe I throw the.
The Tran Girlismo.
Maybe I throw a meet up on maybe I'll go to Ginger's or whatever.
You know, yeah, you should.
I we are recording later than usual.
So I actually had a chance to have the big photo walk this weekend in Seattle,
which I wanted to just mention.
Thank you, everybody, for coming out because we had like 40 or 50 people show up.
It seemed huge. Yeah.
Yeah, we went to Carkeek Park, which is one of my favorite parks in the city.
And it's like right along the BNSF main line and also where Amtrak runs all the
Cascades and like the the Coast Starlight.
I saw a Cascadia train in Philly.
Oh, yeah, there. Why was that new?
It's the new Aero train set and they're testing them on the Northeast Corridor
before they bring them out here.
Oh, OK, that makes far more sense.
It was one of those things where we were pulling into listeners.
I spent nine and a half hours on God's own Amtrak today as you record this.
So I might be a little less chipper than normal because I woke up at 6 a.m.
But yeah, in Philly, I saw 45 of cellas it felt like.
Yeah. Did you see?
Did you see that the the America National
Champions Sean P. Duffy special?
I think the Freedom 250 train.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's a bad livery.
Fucking hate that.
It's one of the worst designs ever put on a train.
And I say this with full knowledge of every special train livery basically made
in the past 30 years, which are almost exclusively bad.
I don't.
Is there a train livery I can think of that I like at all?
Well, that's
Jordan, I'm not making a shrug emoji face.
I'm not a train girlie, but this this we know.
Yeah, but in any case, yeah, the arrows are out there because they're testing.
We just got our first set like two weeks ago.
That makes sense.
That makes far more sense.
Special liveries at the Photo Walk event that 50 people came to
because my life is insane.
We saw that the BNSF employee appreciation special, which was like
had ended on each end by like a patriotic, painted red, white and blue
special locomotive, which was kind of funny.
They just repainted it like this year.
It's insanely rare to see it.
So it was cool, but also at the same time, it was like
less bad doing this.
Less bad than the Sean P.
Duffy special, a cello.
But I did want to just say thank you to everybody who gave me film
because I had I had a lot of people throwing film at me, which I really appreciate.
I'm going to use it for the project.
I just got finished shooting another shoot today.
I literally had to shoot every single one of the past five days straight.
So hey, hey, Victoria.
Yes. Sorry.
Just at 100 percent breaking the kayfabe of this show.
Hey, dog, what's with the red
barred pizza box in your shop right now that's hanging off?
OK, OK.
So my.
Jordan can see under my patio.
My mother in law got us a bird feeder,
which has been lovely.
I love seeing the birds.
We have these goddamn bastard squirrels who are immune to capsaicin,
unlike every other squirrel in the world.
So liberally sprinkling whatever pepper flakes we had to try to keep
the squirrels away did not work.
And they were climbing up the greased pole
and still digging out all the bird seed and scaring off the birds.
So my wife rigged up a like conical
squirrel stopper on the pole out of a red barred pizza box and taped it to it.
So it does look janky.
But guess what?
The fucking squirrels are gone and I get to see birds again.
I I'm glad that it worked.
And now the squirrels don't just crave frozen pizza or whatever.
OK, I figured it was going to be something along those lines.
But I'm also like, hey, did did trash blow into your yard somehow impale itself?
No. Are you sending a message to the Red Baron Corporation?
No, this is this is my most homeowner coded trait,
which is that I cannot stand squirrels despite not having a lawn
and being morally opposed to lawns.
I just I, you know, the bird feed is not cheap.
I want to see birds, birds.
I also squirrels kind of freak me out a little bit.
I don't know.
They freak you out a little bit.
They're they're yeah, their eyes are too beady.
They're rodents.
So I know that tracks.
Yeah. Is it just because you didn't see them down in the vault during your childhood?
I wasn't really allowed to go outside a lot.
So that could be it, honestly.
Uh huh.
In any case, yeah, I just wanted to say the other thing I wanted to say
thank you to was Dosing Unicorn who gave me a shitty camera club tag,
which I'm putting directly onto my cursed Polaroid,
which I think I feel like the drill toilet tweet.
I want to smash into a thousand pieces, but I need it.
Uh huh. I am.
That's me.
Camera wise, I brought so much film to New York.
We'll see if I touch all of it.
But I was shooting out the I was shooting out the Amtrak window earlier today.
That's always fun.
That felt good.
But yeah, to fuck, I guess I I oh, my God.
It's not Beepo.
It's not Beepo.
I mean, it's other cats who I am still in.
I'm how sitting in New York, which is why I am.
Which is why I am here.
But they're they're two year old, huge fucking cats here.
One of the biggest cats I've ever seen.
And he they they both love me a lot immediately.
So given the size of these cats, I'm hoping they don't throw themselves over your shoulder.
I might slip a disc if the tuxedo tries.
I might fucking blow my back.
That's not what that means.
Throw my back.
Welcome to our Pride Month episode.
Right.
Shout out to actually shout out to the couple of people
who recognize me by voice alone.
I have.
On first Friday as well as doing the photo show, which yeah, I guess the gallery went up.
Yeah, and it was awesome.
It seems it people really liked it.
I had that creative person.
It's out in the world now.
I'm going to just feel weirdly bad for a little while about it.
Also, I mean, it did I it is going to get a one point five update
when I am back in town because your prince made it.
Yes. And also, they made me stop hanging things at a certain point,
despite only really letting me into the venue about 15 minutes before I was supposed to start hanging stuff.
But I love the Roboto project and I was happy to do it.
Also, just happy to like, yeah, a couple of people told me how much it meant
that they could like display their photography in a public form.
And that's like, that's why we do it, dog.
Like, that's why you organize things.
So, yeah, a couple of people saw me at Pride and said, Hi,
were recognized me by my voice at the Dyke Bash,
which was really funny because I was wearing a t-shirt,
but no one saw the shirt and then thought it was me.
They just realized they just thought it was someone else with a shirt.
Yeah, but no, it's I don't know.
It's Pride's always weird, but I'm having I'm having a really good pride so far,
which I don't know if I've actually said that out loud in a couple of years.
Yeah, no, I mean, I feel like at this point it's like, OK,
all the fair weather corporations and people are mostly out of the picture.
So we can go back to what it's about, which is being proud of ourselves,
having gay sex.
It seems I'm enjoying my Pride month, too.
I did want to just add on the note of the shirts and stickers
that the train girl, these shirts, people are actually getting them.
So so far I have seen a slammed, air-cooled beetle
and a Millennium Jade R34 Skyline with our sticker on it, which is insane.
The the R34 Skyline is maybe the one that I just keep having to look at the picture
and going, oh, my God, that's like, it's not like I appreciate also
anyone who's been like making up like liveries for us or putting our logo
on their like iracing or Gran Turismo or whatever cars.
But like, it's awesome.
I'm sorry. There's that there is a level to, hey.
There's an R34 in one of well, one of the two good colors.
There's also that really good purple.
Yeah.
But the Millennium Jade is kind of the color for that car.
And there's one that has our sticker on its window
and that fucking blows my socks off.
So, yeah.
But yeah, people get their shirts and like post pictures and stuff.
And it's been very nice.
I've been adding to the good vibes of the month for me.
For sure. It's it's one of those things where, you know, we have the obviously
the Patreon, our beloved Truffle pigs.
And we have we have all of these like metrics
of like how many people listen to the show and everything.
But something about people.
Bless you. Something about something about people
see like seeing people wearing shirts with their logo.
It's something about actually holding.
It was the stickers.
It was the fucking brick of stickers.
You said when you you were sending me a couple of stickers.
I was thinking like maybe 20 at the max.
No, it's like a 20 percent
beefo body weight of so.
Hey, if you see me in public
and you recognize me, I'll just have some stickers on you can just get a sticker.
It's actually what did I say?
You're prized for being normal to me.
If you do, yeah, I'm a sticker boy.
No, it's been not normal, thankfully.
But yeah, I it's having our logo into my physical hands
is one of those like, holy fucking shit.
This is a real thing.
I'm not just going crazy.
Yeah, no, it's it's been cool.
And I'm glad people seem to like it.
And it also makes me happy.
And we again, we hear you.
We'll do another round of sure.
We will. We will.
I just want to make sure everyone gets their first round of shirts before we go back.
I would also like that because I can't I can't really keep around a ton of stock
in my 600 square foot apartment.
And we just really don't want to like no shade to any of our our our
friend shows who do do like print on demand shit.
But like, I don't know, you found a trans screen printer in Seattle.
I'd I'd like to keep get as much money circulating in the community as possible.
It's our job to keep.
It's our job to hand around the twenty dollars at an industrial scale whenever possible.
Keep circulating the tapes.
Yeah, absolutely.
Anyway, speaking of speaking of Seattle.
God damn it. Yeah.
So I could think about all the trade today was this bullet like was this topic.
So I try very hard not to make Tranquilismo into a local news special
because I do tend to care extremely deeply about street design and transit
and how those things impact my city, especially as somebody who primarily relies
on transit to get around here.
But I had to we have to dive into it a little bit because somebody in this city.
So funny to drove a Mazda CX five so far down the light rail
that they drove up an elevated track section and then they parked at a station that is 30.
It's an elevated station.
It is 30 feet off the ground.
And they only stopped when somebody who was working like transit security
walked up to them was like, what are you doing?
This isn't a road as their car is bouncing off the ties
because the tracks are like like on the the issue here.
Right. Is that like there is because Sound Transit made a stupid decision
in like, I don't know, 2010.
There is a large section of the link one line that is not grade separated,
just runs along Rainier Avenue through a bunch along a bunch of streets.
And it's like it's a it's a clusterfuck and there's car accidents constantly.
And it's like it's not a great design.
But what happened was they they took a left apparently
and got confused about where the road was and they were driving on the tracks
down the wrong trackage, which is like already kind of alarming.
And it's like, well, I can almost sort of get it because it's like
it's it was running at the same level as the street, although it is pretty obviously separated.
But then it started it starts to go up.
It pulls up from the street as it approaches Mount Baker Station, which is elevated.
And then it is the way that they have it laid out.
I can't remember the technical term for it, but it is two concrete blocks
with individual ties for each rail and then like a seven inch gap down the center.
So literally the only way to drive on it would be to keep your wheels
precisely down the concrete and bump over every single tie.
So like and then they kept going like it starts pulling up and doing it.
And they kept going for like another half a mile until somebody told them
you have to stop.
What did I it was a non local, obviously.
Utah plates, Utah.
Yeah, this is a deeply more Mormon Disney adult
tries to reinvent Space Mountain for first person.
Like I just I have to think also.
It was a new it was like a basically new ish.
It was the last gen, but like still a pretty new CX five.
Yes.
Do you know how many times a CX five will yell at you
when you're doing something wrong?
Like how many how many driver aid did she ignore when it's
like vibrating the wheel going like, hey, dog, are you sure?
Well, no, see, she couldn't get the haptic feedback through the wheel
because it was a violently shaking side to side from the ties.
I genuinely kind of car.
I genuinely don't know how she got up the incline
because I'm I'm actually kind of floored.
Mazda can make a good off-roader, apparently.
Who even knew they had it in them?
I yeah, because genuinely upon seeing where she drove up,
my immediate thing was like, oh, I'm honestly just like good for her
for not like tipping it over on a roof like like like tipping a cow.
Like it's one of those like
I don't know how you did this.
I don't think you should go to jail.
But I also think we should crush your CX five
and you live somewhere where it's completely walkable.
Well, OK, and this is what's insane to me, right?
Is that like I've been to Salt Lake City.
It's where I got my faggot tattoo.
Very funny bit.
And that was that.
That was more of a brand.
And then you added there, you added the plane later.
Um, but like they have
ungraded separated light rail in Salt Lake City.
So it's not like she's never seen this.
Well, I mean, maybe she's from Provo and then, you know,
it's also entirely possible it was a rental,
but I don't actually know what rental agency uses Utah plates.
I I yeah, is that like a John Smith?
Like you can't rent a car unless it's like an SUV or something.
Maybe, you know, we're we're going through a very Mormon time
here in America for a lot of reasons.
But yeah, this is maybe the weirdest Mormon thing that more.
I'm we're assuming, but also like, who else lives in Utah?
Am I like a right dog?
It's like this was first dirty sodas.
And now now we drive in on the light rail.
What else? What other more?
It's the caffeine is OK if it comes from something that's not coffee,
but coffee, icky, it makes God bad.
Well, the whole reason that that was instituted from my understanding
is that there was a practice early on many, many years ago
where women would do coffee socials and they would talk about things
that were upsetting them, which usually were men.
And so they were like, we have to ban coffee,
which I don't know how 100 percent true that is.
I've known a bunch of ex-Mormons throughout my life,
and I've heard that one pretty consistently, so I assume it's pretty true.
And also, like it does make sense because Mormonism is what happens
when you compress all of the years of weird tradition of religion,
like a creeding and building upon itself into the span of, like, what,
a hundred and fifty years? Yeah, yeah.
It's like speed running a religion.
They are speed runners.
They are.
They're less charming than and charming is the wrong word.
And Scientology evil.
But like the remix on God, Christianity,
because Scientology is at least out there doing its own like, you know,
there's a there's space there's space war in Scientology.
And that's that's fun, at least.
I like Star Wars, I guess.
Yeah, also, we're going to have to dub in and allegedly so we don't get sued.
By who? Scientology.
Oh, come on. Yeah.
They love suing people.
What? What have I always said?
Allegedly.
Whatever comes to our show that we are parody.
This is a parody of the show.
Still, I just did try to put a hit out on me yesterday,
AKA a woman backed into my fucking legs as I was
walking, walking home from work like a sensible, walkable community haver.
And I made the cardinal said of trying to go to 7-Eleven for a little
treat and that and I was hit by a car.
Are you OK?
My niece is still a little sore, but it mostly feels like, you know,
when you like jam a finger, yes, and how it feels just kind of tight
and less sore, kind of tight.
I'm at that point. OK.
So I'm fine.
I mean, there was a moment of peer fear where I was just like,
ah, I am planning on just literally walking from the next seven days of my life.
Yeah, because I'm in New York, baby.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Anyway, but the CX Five driver was.
Apparently, she said she was following her GPS, which
I would suggest that there is also a now we haven't we haven't phased out
windshields yet.
It's not a Polestar where they've bricked in the cockpit.
So you could look out of that and be like, huh, I'm driving up railroad tracks
into a railroad station.
Perhaps I should stop.
But, you know, I have to.
Did she have the directions on transit for some reason?
I am wondering.
A couple of people were like, maybe she had it on walking directions
because it looked like it was similar to the route you would take as a pedestrian there.
But it's still at a certain point.
Like you have to realize that, like, you know, maybe I shouldn't drive
headlong into commuter train traffic.
That's for our Brightline special.
Yeah, that's for that's for Floridians should know better versus
maybe Brightline's little fucked up.
Yeah, now there's a I I'm I've fully taken to calling myself gay girl,
John Oliver, ever since that was brought up about how I present this podcast.
And there is a full episode about Brightline in which I will just heavily
site from the Miami Herald's incredible reporting on it,
plus like whatever background of train knowledge I have.
But that is incredibly depressing.
And I am I can't handle that much of a downer.
It's just bad.
It's bad, but also if we don't have to get into it.
When the when the arms are down, what do we do?
Kids, say it with me now.
Oh, yeah, try to go around the arms.
Yes, that's most of the Brightline clips I've seen is for going like,
ah, that's not going that fast.
And then immediately getting turned into metal and mist.
Yeah, it is, unfortunately, much worse than that is bad.
Yeah, I have to assume that if we're if we're outsourcing trains
to private contractors, maybe maybe they suck.
Well, I mean, that's the entire history of America to not show right there.
That's that's how we like colonized the West.
But my experience of the Pennsylvania was so much nicer than my experience
on the Floridian going towards Chicago.
Well, that's because that's an actual like that.
Isn't that partially run with P.A. state funds?
Yes, it is.
Yeah, those are funds.
Yeah, that's why the Cascades is like an actual like rail line.
And a lot of the long distance stuff is just just federally funded,
which means that they are much worse
because it's a lot harder to like make things happen if you have a six dollars
and also no one cares about you.
And also, you have to share a long haul
trackage with like every major class one railroad in America,
which would absolutely love for nothing more than to stop
letting passenger trains run entirely.
Yeah, that isn't money they're making.
It's Warren Buffett won't be able to like go afford to a ghost writer
for his next book. Oh, God, oh, fuck, it's so over.
Sell everything now.
Free the fuck out and sell everything to get all of your money for the bank.
Anyway, I counted this as pride month coverage
because I see so many people in this city who are there are a lot of gay women
who have stickers that read things like hot girls hit curbs or too gay to drive.
And stop doing that.
I it is up to me fine.
If you hate driving, as a matter of fact, I think it's reasonable
if you prefer not to drive that that makes perfect sense.
But I beg of you, if you are going to operate a two ton machine
that can kill a human being basically instantly at any speed above 35 miles an hour,
I would like you to be good at it.
And I think that you should make it your effort as much as you can to be good at it.
It also means that like you should probably familiarize familiarize yourself
with like reading street signs. They're helpful.
The phone doesn't have to tell you everywhere you go.
It, you know, I figured this would be my little PSA.
Please do not cause two hours of link delays at rush hour
because you're bad at driving.
I take it back. We should send it.
It was like rush hour and it was like they just stop all the trains
or at the very least stockade stockade in the middle of town for computers
to tackle the funniest thing is you see how they got it out of there.
Did they just did they just throw it a neutral and push it down?
They had to get a high rail front end loader with a forklift attachment
and like swaddle the CX five in like ratchet straps and lift it up
like a like a cat carrying its its baby kitten all the way back down
onto the pavement.
That's how that's how they move shabu.
Oh, God, I was just.
I was thinking about like, yeah, tier list of bad bumper stickers
are like those are the worst.
I do really like the best you let me merge.
I do like that one. Yeah, I think those ones are good.
That's acceptable. But like.
Hey, gay people, it's pride.
Infantalyze yourself a little bit, especially a little bit less,
especially when you're driving the machine that can kill anyone.
Yeah, that's that's all I ask is just, you know, and if you don't feel
like, you know, you're super great in it, slow down a little bit.
Just if you if you're from GPS is telling you contradictory things, go around.
It's OK. You can always go around.
I'm going to have to link that song, the pilot PSA song.
Yes, you can always go around.
But anyway, this is this has been the
also, if you're listening from Sound Transit,
I'm never going to stop giving you shit for not grade separating
Rainier Avenue until you finally fucking grade separate it because it's really
this is granted this is a very stupid case and she shouldn't have done this.
But also there's got to be a lot of cross traffic accidents
that happen on Rainier Avenue with both people and cars.
And that is level of stress.
You do not need to be putting operators through.
Also, it will be more reliable and robust, and it would be a real train.
So I'm just going to that's going to be my promise.
And now with that, I will end the local news segment of the podcast.
And welcome a new addition to the can't work there.
Hall of Fame.
That was by one addition to the notes of this thing, which can't work there.
Can't work there.
Yes.
Yeah, it turns out.
Mount Baker, I mean, it is we do talk about doing parking rides.
Maybe she was just trying to like synthesize
car car bad train good.
Perhaps this is the synthesis of that dialectic.
Car trying to return to train like crab.
Anyway, now for the real Pride Month special bit of the show that I wrote.
Yeah, this is another I looked away for the show notes for an hour
and that I came back and I saw that you would put all of this in.
And then I went, actually, I'm going to just let I'm going to let you rock,
Doc, I'm going to let you.
Yeah, this I decided I would go gay girl, John Oliver, with this part
because I care about it a lot.
And it's something that I have really intense feelings about, like, personally
and also politically.
So I figured this is as good a chance as any to take on the entire
like corporate complex, especially as it relates to like
pride and what is considered woke.
Because apparently, according to Robbie Starbuck,
Harley Davidson is now woke again.
This is the second time he has done this.
He claims that Harley has not sufficiently changed its policies, read,
become fascist to his taste.
So I figured I would like get into the background of Robbie Starbuck
for people who are fortunate enough to not know who he is.
He is like what his whole background is like he is the child
of Catholic Cuban immigrants who came to America in the 1960s fleeing Castro,
which generally America is on Earth,
which generally implies things about their politics
that I will allow you to fill in the blanks about.
How many sugar plantations did you all fucking out?
My my Latina wife has opinions on this.
In any case,
his his background is that he was like a
he wanted to be a movie maker and he directed music videos in
I'm going to make you guess the era that he was active, Jordan.
OK, for Pierce the Vale, blood on the dance floor,
asking Alexandria, yellow card,
the smashing pumpkins, Aikon and Jeffrey Starr.
Sorry, I but you have loved on this show to hear the word Jeffrey
and then immediately expect to hear the word afterwards.
Um, are you giving?
Do you want like, I guess that's not an exact year, but
now just give me a rain. Just give me like a ballpark.
Oh, six to 2012
2008 to 2013 dead on.
That's that's it. You nailed that shit. Yeah.
I was just thinking about like,
when was the last time the smashing pumpkins would have released a music video?
Uh, yeah, like he so he did that for a while and then he just basically disappeared from the radar and
decided he would become like a conservative agitator.
And his his main focus at this point is like he he has a staff of two full timers somehow.
I this is like the who funds the federalist kind of like, where is this money coming from?
And they basically just harass any company that has
any kind of what they see is like
diversity, equity and inclusion program.
Usually a diversity, equity, inclusion program.
A lot of this is like working groups for queer people.
Like if you've ever worked in a large area, I do need to plug my laptop back in because the big buddy cat just unplugged.
I'm not leaving this conversation.
I do need to plug a laptop back in.
OK, I've gone too far and now she's she's cutting me off.
Oh, I just got a leg cramp.
So it's fine.
Listeners were followed the fuck apart.
So like they they basically harass companies that like they see as being too woke as as targets that they think that they could make them repeal their programs.
So they have successfully caused John Deere, Ford, Coors, Toyota, Caterpillar, Boeing, Walmart, Nissan, McDonald's, Target and Harley-Davidson previously to drop the programs or at least say they're going to drop the programs.
I witnessed this at two of those companies where I either knew people who were on board with the ERGs or in the initiatives.
And or I just saw them like about their ERGs like evaporate entirely and they either like people go or they just like stopped having doing corporate pride or whatever.
You can guess what the two are.
I won't say it.
Yeah.
Hey.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Hurley.
Hurley.
Maybe I have.
Hurley-Davidson twice.
Hurley-Davidson twice.
Well, I'm getting there.
I'm getting there.
I promise this is all set up.
This is all set up.
No, no, no, I was just making sure that I was, I was not the, my train madness had not fully set in and I was, I was fully on the thing.
No, you're on Amtrak.
You're on the right Amtrak.
There we go.
I'm so tired.
I need to stop doing photo shoots so bad.
I need this book to come out.
Listeners, we normally would have recorded this, what, four days ago, except every single thing in my life was trying to, tried to go wrong last week.
So I was just like, sure, let's do it in New York.
Thinking that, you know, I'd feel, we'd both feel more global after a log weekend and then I was on a train for nine and a half hours.
So we love you.
Anyway, Robbie Starbuck made a film again in 2024.
It's not a real thing.
It picked back up in 2024.
He made a documentary called The War on Children.
I'll give you one guess what that's about.
If you guessed blood libel about transgender people, you would be correct.
Okay, cool, cool, cool.
I was just super excited.
I was just like, hmm, there's a fun answer to this, but I just, I don't know if it's, I don't know if I got one.
Yeah, no, there is no, this is, this is, unfortunately, this is the no fun segment of the episode.
But I will like, tie this in in a way that at least like, it'll probably require beliefs, actually.
Oh, cool.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I don't have access to my full editing suite.
So maybe don't, but I don't know if I can.
I haven't, I actually have a segment in here where I literally said I need 14 seconds of bleep words.
That's one of the bullet points in my talking points for the notes of this episode.
I can do, I can do my best or send it to Alex who has been pitch hitting for me while I've been too busy to edit.
Okay.
Well, sorry in advance to either or both of you.
So in any case, so in 2024, which is when he started the first wave of this, he, Robbie Starbucks got mad at Harley.
And after he did two weeks of like Twitter, just adding the company and telling people to like boycott them and doing, you know, full like social media assault.
Harley basically gave up completely.
They were like, they put out a statement that it was saddened by the negativity on social media.
And according to a U.S. news or U.S. news, I did this up.
I don't know USA Today, my apologies.
That according to this, they said they hadn't had a DAI department for months.
They didn't have any hiring quotas.
They had stopped pursuing all supplier diversity spend goals and they pledged to stop participating in a human rights campaign benchmarking index to measure how much support the company had for any queer employees it may have had.
And so he was like, OK, cool, they're they're going to help grease the skids into fascism as Donald Trump takes office.
This is perfect.
They'll stop.
And then this week or last week, I don't know the specific timeline of this is irrelevant for the point I'm going to make.
He posted on X dot com, the everything app, a video where he said, quote, Harley Davidson said they were dropping all these crazy woke policies I exposed, which, again, just as a reminder was like, hey, we have enough corporate support for our queer employees that HRC can take a look at what we do.
They had already gotten rid of all their DAI initiatives, like basically before this guy turned to them.
Quote, I regret to inform you that unfortunately today I'm going to have to expose them again and quote.
And his complaints are, I suppose, I don't even know if they're worth mentioning.
The CEO of Harley already stars was previously the CEO of Topgolf, and they had a company pride event and raised money for SF pride when he was at Topgolf.
Well, yeah, it's in the name.
Yeah.
It's strict Topgolf.
Top for Topgolf.
Sorry.
Hey, does anyone in this story have a real name?
Well, you just saying Robbie Starbuck and Artie Starrs are hitting you right?
These are 70s children's cartoon characters.
These are Archie side characters.
Like what?
Sure.
Yeah.
All right.
Tell me about Starbuck.
parentheses, not the not the Battlestar one.
Anyway, I guess Artie Starrs also had run Pizza Hut for a while and they partnered with a company that had like and that provided like anti-racism educational materials.
So he didn't even, he hasn't even done anything at Pizza Hut.
Now there is also there.
I saw an article in the Bulwark, which I will begrudgingly link because I refused to recognize them as a real outlet.
But they went through the whole right-wing grifted sphere that they're very familiar with.
Don't ask why they're familiar with all these people.
And who's to say?
Yeah.
Sorry, Bill Crystal.
You are not invited on the show.
Billy Crystal, however, we can talk.
Sure.
But I love that Harry was Sally.
But he seems to think that it's some kind of like targeted campaign to like get people to switch to Indian motorcycles because that's the brand that keeps coming up in all of these social media videos made by right wing agitators.
And it's like, huh, that'd be weird.
I mean, I will not even go that far and say that because I also think that like it is equally likely that somebody in Robbie Starbucks orbit like independently like owns an Indian service repair shop.
I was like, hey, man, can you tell people to come ride the bikes that I make money off of instead of the other company?
And he was just like, yeah, man, sure.
Because it's all just like a disgusting like back scratching party.
And so basically every conservative space because they have so much money going around and they all hate each other.
It's the only way that they can express any kind of like kinship with like their fellow man in what is theoretically their ideological, you know, space is to financially assist one another in like horrifically grifty ways because that's the only way the economy works for them.
It's like their goal is always to be scamming other people, lest they become the scammed.
ABS.
That's basically my thought on it.
But in any case, with this incredibly thin flimsy complaint against Harley, Robbie Starbucks has called this and there's this direct quote communism.
Now, this is this is where I have 14 seconds of just straight bleep about what communism is, which I suppose I can just leave it as an exercise for the listener as to what I would like to say here.
I am.
Here's my interjection in this moment of your creative creativity in woke to we're going to have to call it indigenous people's motorcycles.
I'm taking that or you're building them in like fucking like you're building them in Delhi, you know.
Yeah, no, I, I think the thing is, is that like reconstruction to is not going to be vibes.
It is not going to be submitting papers.
It's going to be something much more interesting.
It will be it will be an interesting time for watching what happens.
I the thing is, is that like the idea of going after Harley a second time for being too woke is incredibly funny to me and I think like demonstrates how patently stupid these grievances are because like for one, CEOs
or just go from company to company and do whatever they're like, they are like the gentry of America, modern America, and that they just kind of like go from one position to the next, either do well or fail and it doesn't really matter.
It has no material impact on their lives, and they do whatever the hell is going on.
I would be shocked if Mr. Artie Starrs was sitting in like a board meeting at Pizza Hut and was like, God damn it.
I heard somebody like who didn't really know about that like Tulsa bombings and like the move bombings of Philadelphia in the 80s.
It's like this this level of entrenched white supremacy is unacceptable.
And from a top down perspective, we must remake Pizza Hut to be anti racist.
That's what we're going to do are instituting the John Brown little readers.
Now, this is what we're going to do under woke to the Pizza Hut will be forcibly woke, but this has never happened.
So it's just like he's making shit up because the thing is like Harley Harley's whole thing is that they sell police violence as a product.
Like, hey, do you know what's cooler than being like an outlaw being totally unconstrained by the law, but also still part of it, which is the entire Harley brand image.
That's like the only time in my life.
There's one person I know who is going to listen to this and laugh because she does have a Harley to which I say you're in dykes on bikes and you can ride whatever the fuck you want.
That's cool as hell.
The only the first Harley I ever had close exposure to was literally written by an auto theft cop in Albany, New York.
And he was bragging about how he had the police model that was faster and had like a gun holster in it and shit.
To me when I'm like nine and I'm like, this man is scary.
The stranger danger alarms are going off despite my parents telling me this man is safe.
That's interesting.
But the reason that I want to talk about this for Pride Month specifically is because like one of the two car companies that have been mentioned previously in this segment.
I did like, I think two or three separate like Pride talks for their ERGs and like various like internal corporate events basically to talk about the experience of being trans in the auto industry.
And you know, like, why, why I thought it was beneficial for them financially to support trans people because like, you know, more or less goes along the lines of like every kind of like sort of rainbow washing corporate lib HRC adjacent pride campaign, which is,
Hey, your goal is to attract the best talent. And so the best talent is going to look different than just like a sea of straight white guys.
So it's economically in your best interests to allow people from as many diverse backgrounds as possible to feel comfortable and valued at your company.
It just makes sense. Yeah, it's like, yeah.
And it was like, you know, this is kind of supposed to be where like the invisible hand of the market does its job and makes things better.
And like this always has felt kind of foolish to me. I mean, like on one hand it like, it leaves out of the picture, everybody who's not traditionally economically value valued which you know, hello, hi, I'm right here.
But also, you know, it, it relies on this specific cost benefit analysis always working out where like, you know, you, it is, it is a better investment to have these people around and actually value their contributions rather than just like
Jettison them entirely because keeping them has been proven too costly, which is what's happening now, because like with the literally within six months of doing this pride talk for one of these car companies, they disbanded it even before the election because of this fucking guy.
It was this fucking guy's fault.
Oh, we should.
Yes, yes, we should absolutely.
Did I cut some did I cut something out or did I just look into my co host's eyes knowingly.
This too is Yuri.
This too is Yuri. Sorry, there's also I am being just absolutely.
There's a cat directly on the other side of the laptop screen so it's like, there's Victoria eyes here and then right over laptop there are two cat eyes.
So I'm just really feeling observed right now.
Yeah, that's just for our live shows.
For sure which.
Yeah, we're not scheduled those yet.
You all got away for that.
You all got away for that also like I'm I'm I've become 6040 the America 250 GP isn't happening, or since they're making people submit socials, I do believe what you get free tickets.
I applied for tickets.
I didn't have to submit.
Thank you.
Okay, okay.
Which does go back to me like it's very obviously my email, but like, I just worry that if they're if they're doing any sort of check it, you and I are getting disbarred from we're not going to be loud in DC.
There's part of me where it's just like, oh, listeners, it'll be old news by the time you see this but like, as I was arriving into New York City today.
They announced that a several block radius of Manhattan was basically going to become a militarized zone.
So our president can get booed and then fall asleep at a basketball game.
But no one told I am track that this was happening.
So they didn't have like, guidance for people getting off the train into closed streets and attempting to close the sidewalks even.
Yeah, no, I can't emphasize enough.
It's just closing down Midtown, entirely.
Closing down Midtown around Madison Square Garden, which oh, what the busiest train station at all of North America is also right there.
Cool.
Good.
Yeah, I was like telling people on my train.
I'm like, yeah, they're going to work.
Some people are like, I can't wait to go watch watch the Knicks thing.
And I'm like, unless you have tickets, you're not watching the Knicks at Madison Square Garden.
Sorry.
This is not happening.
They canceled that because our big, wet president needs needs that.
I don't even know why he wants to go.
They need to get there because he's a cortisol.
He's a poster at heart.
He's got a cortisol addiction.
We love to get mad.
Even given that the standing room only tickets are $4,000, everybody there is going to own a car dealership that sells exclusively to drug dealer pedophiles or whatever.
The mayor got standing room only tickets for $1,000.
And he felt the need to clarify that it was personal, buddy, that he had before he became mayor and he didn't let them give him tickets.
And I'm like, one, I don't think there's any danger of James Dolan giving sorry.
But like, you know, they're going to be lucky if he gets, he's going to be lucky if he gets let in to MSG.
But I've read about that asshole.
That's a whole other pride month special.
Yeah, happy pride read about his surveillance state targeted at one trans woman not wanting to be like not wanting one trans woman to be on television at a Nick's game.
Cool and normal and good.
I think, yeah, thank you.
This actually ties in great.
Yeah, my concept here about all of this corporate pride stuff, which is basically the, you know, I fully admit like the first book I did was like, it was in conversation with some of these cut topics.
Right.
Like part of the reason that I did, you know, we deserve this with it wasn't my first book.
It was my second book, but I forget about the first one all the time.
Anyway, the part of the reason that I like made it the way I did was because like one, I wanted to reclaim car culture for us.
And, you know, I wanted to like showcase us looking our best and to being happy and feeling empowered.
Part of the reason that I focused on cars as the like fashion accoutrement to all of the people who modeled in it was because cis people who generally, I think, need some sort of prompting to see trans people as people first are familiar with seeing cars as like symbols of success.
They are literally status symbols.
And, you know, they are very the cars are very good at portraying a vibe.
The idea of like modifying your car to be better, better reflection of yourself is partially how I came out and also something that's resonated with basically every guy I've ever met in my life.
Where it's like, yeah, this is like the this is the way that you express yourself as like it is an extension of one's own like styles and choices and like personal image.
And so like there was there was a little bit of this kind of like, you know, reaching across to cis people and even car companies to be like, hey, look, see, this is, you know, I'm going to use this consumers object in a way that is hopefully going to like illustrate to these people that, you know, we're human
beings who deserve to be treated with respect while making a thing that is ultimately for us.
And the thing is, is I think I'm done with that.
I think I'm done with it as well and like, sorry, that I was trying to hastily also Google the exact sentiment where I have an unfortunate deep emotional residence with the tumbler post.
If you told Vin Diesel fast and furious you were gay, he'd be like, some people like driving stick, some people like driving automatics, what matters is you cross the finish line.
I think about that all of the time vis-a-vis queerness in car culture where it's just like, yeah.
I don't know. I mean, that book was huge for me because I was like, it's so weird how many people at the time were like telling me personally like, Oh, you look amazing.
I can't wait. I hope to one day be like you when I like, I look back at the me that was in the book and I go, Oh, you beautiful little green haired nightmare.
You have no idea what the fuck you're doing.
Gary, you little horrid party girl.
Employee resource groups are not bad, you know, I don't I don't think they're a bad concept.
I just think that they have been, I keep thinking about, and this is only tangentially related, I keep to the point I'm about to make, but I keep thinking about that comic that went viral that we reposted and everything, the Tesla sticker that just says,
absolve me, absolve me, I'm good, bringing you out to talk to people kind of does feel like the, well, the, the tuxedo mask, well, the day is saved.
It's like, well, you didn't do anything and it's just goodbye.
Yeah, I just, well, and it's like, this is what's so challenging, even to talk to car companies that are, you know, quote, woke, which is obviously I'm using this term sarcastically.
They are not at they are, they may score better with HRC, but like every single plant they build is going to be in a right to work state, because that's where they can't have unions, because God fucking forbid their workers actually unionize and demand what their worth, or demand that they can't be fired for no reason or
demand that the like, you know, whims of the company saying like, oh, we support queer people are written in something stronger than like an HR written press release.
But all of those states, incidentally, because they're awful, our red states, which queer people increasingly cannot live in.
And this, this is like part of why I think that this is I'm done with this phase of my life right is like, there are shoots in the new book of like, trans women with their cars, because I think it's cool or whatever and that's, that's rad.
There's a there's a photo shoot I did of a tea for tea lesbian couple holding hands across the back of their matching defenders. They each have like a 90s Land Rover or no disco sorry discovery.
I got it wrong. Yeah. But it's like, in front of the Twin Peaks Mountains, it's awesome. It's great. And it's like, this is cool. This is still like a natural expression of joy. But like, the idea of trying to select like expensive cars or whatever, we're done with that.
Like, if you if you're a cis person, and you haven't figured it out yet that we're people, then it's, I'm sorry, we would I don't care, your buy in is no longer going to be required, because the the world that we are trying to build is no longer one of incremental
improvement, where companies and well meaning cis people get to distribute a little sprinkling more like rights every couple of years for us to like, you know, get to participate more in the broader society around us.
Because we're going to build a world where it is not going to be up to a corporation to be queer friendly.
There are one if we go where I will go there aren't going to be corporations. But also, I think a lot of this is just like the the idea of having an HRC index of like good companies to work for is in itself fucking awful.
Yeah.
You can't support your employees to, you know, get gender affirming care, and you know who built the world is for sure still doing that though.
That maybe I mean I don't know if they are still doing the like pride parade Lockheed Martin socks, which I do actually want a pair of those are pretty funny.
He'd Martin box right.
Lockheed put their pride logo back up this year.
Really.
I believe so.
I got a friend literally while I was trying to Google the Vin Diesel thing.
So like, you know, it's either burgers or bombs.
Welcome to America.
I just I mean, that's great.
I suppose the other thing too is like, you know, if you work for Lockheed, there's a pretty decent work for Lockheed.
You're politically left or trans anyway.
It's pretty likely that the like instruments of the state you are currently building to kill other people will be aimed at you at some point.
So maybe out of pure naked self interest, you should stop.
But like, I think I think my point is that this is hell.
We shouldn't be doing this.
Like, I have been approached by like another car company to speak for them this pride month.
And I was like, I don't know if you want me to do that because like, I know where all your plants are.
I know your entire supply chain.
I know, like, broadly speaking, a bunch of things about corporate culture.
And like, I think that the thing that I think that the things I'm saying are basically incompatible with corporations at this point, because a lot of this is like, you know, if if you're a corporation who wants to figure out how to help trans people the best, you should run a
Manchurian candidate to destroy Ken Paxton right now, give them a billion dollars and a Gundam.
But nobody's going to do that because that's not how this works.
Like this, our rights are ancillary to their profits.
And that's not what's currently profitable.
So we have to build a world where that is irrelevant.
Yeah, I'm kind of mad.
Understandably, and it's just, I have often been feeling lately that how many times have we said something on this show and then talked to each other later and God, God, how nice is it that there's no one looking over our shoulder for all this?
Like, we don't have to, as people who are putting this out ourselves supported by our listeners and not like adverts, like, there's, we don't want to run ads.
We don't want to run ads.
But also, even if we did, who's, who's, who's ads are going to go next to me saying, do you know you could buy cum lube at the mall, and also we must destroy capital.
Like, let's just run through like a potential like Toyota ad read from me.
Hello, we're Toyota Motor Corporation.
Our charismatic CEO, who everybody thought was cool, loves to wear a Donald Trump t-shirt to fake NASCAR races in Japan.
Also, their dealer network is like the number one financier for basically all right wing politics in the state of Texas.
Crazy.
Anyway, the new Highlander is pretty nice.
Go have fun with that.
Do you think they would, do you think they'd pay us?
I don't think they'd pay us.
You know who might pay us?
Carvon.
No, I think they'll just give anybody anything.
I think they'll, I think Carvada would be down because I would say shit like, hey, we're a bankrupt yourself.
Carvada, I'll let you finance fucking whatever dog.
Who gives a shit?
Yeah, I just, it's, it's one of those things where I said at the top of the show, but pride's so weird at this point.
Because at one point I am kind of really glad that the era of corporate pride, which I was first coming out into, has died.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My first pride I ever went to was Houston, Texas.
I marched with like the NASA ERG contingent.
We, we, it was cool.
Honestly, everybody, it was, it was so cool because it was like we had an older lesbian lady who had a beat to shit 2006 Ford F-150 with a handmade banner on it.
And then they brought an old Mars rover concept out of storage and like this, this sweetest oldest gay man I've ever met in my life just did donuts down the street with it for like the whole length of the parade because it was like four wheel independent steering.
It was great.
It was great.
I really love that.
You know what they began that parade with?
And like this is like, I don't know, 2015 or something.
No, that was later.
2018, 2019.
Was it Shell?
No, no, it was Houston PD's massive armored personnel carrier, which I was not as radical about my gay politics at that point.
But even then, I was like, that seems fucked up.
Yeah.
I mean, no cops at Pride has always been a, no cops, no corporations at Pride.
I am so, do I like the reason why all of these corporations have left Pride?
Absolutely not.
No, that also feels bad.
But like, I'm glad they're gone.
Well, and this is why people complained about like pinkwashing and rainbow capitalism to begin with is that it was obvious that the minute the political winds shifted and it became inconvenient to support us, they would, I mean, this is the same thing with like, you know, there's a reason that we had to like write the Civil Rights Act in blood.
Granted, we're still overturning it currently.
But like the limits of like, oh, you could make more money if you, you know, integrate the South was not, that was not going to be a path forward for like actual meaningful change.
You have to like establish these things in law.
And you also have to like, and this is I think crucially the benefit for me where I'm like, you know, yeah, if you want to be a pride in your corporation, you run a company or whatever, cool, let all your employees unionize.
And then when they strike, because you're not giving them like a living wage, or you're trying to like lay people off because they're queer or because they make too much noise about whatever.
Then you have to like accept it when you go back to the bargaining table with them and let them actually argue for what they should have.
Yes, or, or you're fucking the complete non car ramp.
Yeah, wizards of the fucking coast and you're making your transit police dead named themselves to vote on unionizing.
Yeah, yeah, like, and that is out of here with that.
That's it. That's a place that would like is supported by a ton of trans people.
And also I think like broadly is considered like, you know, a good place to work.
Huge air quotes around this.
Yeah, fuck them.
This is my point, right?
Is like the minute that you are you are inconvenient in any way to their bottom line, they will kill you.
And so I think that like pride pride for me is just like, you should be out at work.
If you feel safe doing it, it's cool.
You should also not trust anyone who works at your company to make a decision that would protect you over their bottom line.
Because we don't live in a system that does that.
And so we have to build a system that no longer does that.
So I don't know if you're the car company hit me up about talking for corporate pride.
If you'd like me to advocate for communism in the middle of your in the middle of your ERG meeting, hit me up.
I'm down.
I just don't think that that's really going to play well.
I'm not going to say that I was going to make a joke about what I could be bought for at the moment.
But you know what, fuck it, I'm too proud to be bought this month.
Ask me in August.
Fuck it.
We'll see how the summer goes.
Yeah, I think the other thing that I just want to close this out with was like, this is the second time Starbucks has launched a campaign against Harley.
These fucking people will never be happy.
You will never be regressive enough for fascists to satisfy them.
The entire point of fascism is that you are at constant war, both ideologically and and actually, you know, material world.
No, it's not this man.
But did you see the guy who's melting down over the new Halo remake cover?
No, the Skybox has a little tinge of pink with its blue and white clouds.
Oh, my God.
And they're like, they made Halo woke.
And I'm like, I think we first order of business at Woke 2 is shooting every Twitter server.
Take it all down.
Shoot them.
Yeah.
I don't know.
We reward such bad behavior.
And again.
It was not even we.
The guy's name is Starbucks.
The guy's name is Starbucks.
It's not even we.
This guy has a staff of people dedicated to harassing companies to drop it.
He literally gets money to do this.
He pays other people to help him do this.
Yeah, this is this is the thing.
It's like we have to build a world where that is not possible.
And to that end, I will say, isn't that right, Jordan?
Give us a Gundam.
I think the other funny thing here is that like Costco pretty, pretty openly when when they were pressured to drop all their Di policies was like, no, fuck you were Costco.
We have the dollar 50 hot dog bow before us and it worked fine.
It didn't it didn't hurt them at all.
It actually probably helped them.
This is not an argument to continue doing capitalism, but it is pretty funny.
It is an argument to keep going to Costco.
I would love a future that's like some sort of, you know, planned economy in which the people who run Costco get to make major decisions in how supermarkets are run.
That was state owned grocery store contracted out with Costco I would be super down for.
Yeah, I'll trust I'll trust all grocery stores to that if you raise the price of the hot dog, I'll fucking kill you guys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, Victoria.
It's so bleak.
It's not great, but it I mean at the very least like I think I think why I wanted to talk about this was just because it if you if you are a listener who you know works in the auto industry or whatever.
Let this sit with you.
Don't let these people like use you up.
I feel so goddamn like personally used and disgusted with myself that I ever spoke for a car company that then through all of their fucking queer employees under the bus.
So like, don't let them do that to you.
First of all, oh my God, I hadn't even yeah, thought about that angle of it.
Yeah, I did it for free because I was free.
I didn't want there to be a conflict of interest.
And I I covered the auto industry.
I said I would do it as a as a like I believe in this and I had a pretty pretty wide berth talk about what I wanted to.
And you know some of that was like hey if you're a large car company with your headquarters based in Plano, Texas, maybe you should consider moving them from there for the sake of every single queer person that works for you.
And a given where that car company's headquarters currently is I didn't really didn't really do much, I guess.
Can't be can't be Texas corporate taxes.
Sorry, dog.
Well, let's see.
Yeah, there's a thing right is like they don't give a fuck.
They'll kill you.
If somebody if if Greg Abbott walked up to the Akio Toyota was like hey.
Greg Abbott's not walking up to anyone.
Oh God, I would, I hate my I would never laugh at anybody else for that.
But you know, no, it's okay making fun of Greg Abbott being in a chair.
And it's not okay to make fun of him for being in the chair.
It is okay to make fun of him because his fortune came from the tree limb that fell on him, which is why he is a wheelchair user.
And you know what he did when he entered Republican politics, made it illegal for anyone to ever get that amount of money from a settlement like his ever again.
So anyway, I've had governor wheels, it would feel really good to.
I've posted that on blue sky and they didn't give me a strike for it but granted that with kind of wild west you can tell people to kill themselves.
Yeah, no, I am.
You know, but yeah, I did feel used for it but also I think part of it too is just like it's just it's not going to work.
It's fine, you know, like do what you can at work trying to make people's lives better.
But like ultimately, if you if you find yourself in a position where you're leading a car company, you have to make a financially disastrous decision to move your headquarters.
You let all your employees unionize and this is these are just these are things that I just don't think are going to happen.
I'm still waiting for like the one ethical capitalist and I have yet to find them.
And it's just companies aren't your friends, not not the one you worked for, not the one that your dad works for not the one that like you like, like know your friends.
Leftist queer podcasters are your friends.
I have not been so craving this pride month to play the Patreon, but I have had a couple friends in media be like, you should be juicing that Patreon more and I'm just like, I'm trying to be good.
We're trying to be good.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, I don't know if that's just that's my rant.
I fucking hate these people.
I hate Robbie Starbucks.
Come on the show and we'll, you know,
Yeah, we do report in person and we'll air prop you a location to go to.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Debate just setting up the the Ben Shapiro style come change my mind folding table in the middle of Cal Anderson during like the the unpermitted like queer pride events that are running all month.
Hey, come to the free trans DJ rave event and debate me there.
We'll meet you at Anthrocon.
I think you brought up the debate me thing.
There was a guy at the shop I work at the other day who from the side profile was a perfect Charlie Kirk.
And I just had to text my coworker when I saw the side profiles like that's the angle the shooter saw.
Yeah.
I have one more topic for us.
Yes.
Related at all but it is pride month for us.
And it's pride month for us but also you are you are not.
You do lightly keep dead naming this plan or at least you're not respecting well.
It's it's it's Stalantis, which to me feels like pride month because I think at this point pride month.
This podcast is like a quarter Stalantis by by runtime at this point, which I can't help they just keep doing shit that's fucking insane.
They can't be normal 14 car companies in a trench coat.
So I decided that I would I try and look for a while to find something bad.
A trench coat to that's a really crazy part is none of them other than like we Alfa Romeo we like to show.
They're all bad companies other than that.
I mean Alfa Romeo is a bad car company I just happened to like them a lot.
Yeah, but they are bad in the fun way.
Yeah, I mean, I also have a soft spot for Jeeps.
Not like I like the Wrangler.
I wish the Wrangler were like from a different brand that didn't make like assault vehicles for ice.
Because now when I say I like Jeeps, I have to be like no the friendly ones that like Barbie drives, not like, you know, the urban assault vehicles.
You want a Suzuki Suzuki Jimny or whatever.
I do.
I would love that.
You won't sell me one here.
It's fine.
I don't have $40,000 for a new car anyway.
So in any case, Stellantis, as you may remember from an earlier episode of this show, lost $26 billion last year.
As car companies do.
Such a big number.
As car companies do when they're doing well and they have 14 brands that people love.
So what they're going to do is instead of being like, hmm, we should like hone this down and focus in on like what people actually want, like making money, hand over fist with Jeep.
We're going to actually double down.
We're all in on spending $60 billion to develop or refresh 110 cars, including 60 all new vehicles.
In the next three and a half years as part of the fast lane 2030 plans.
And this is where I keep apparently dead naming it because it's actually.
Do you want to describe this?
It's capital F lower case A capital S capital T capital L capital A lower case and E 20 30.
Which someone pointed out that it is almost Stellantis is stock ticker, which might be where they got it.
No, the reason is because the they are going to and I'll get to this a second, but the platform that they are debuting to get like 30 cars around to is called the STLA platform.
That was the truck off-motion fart noise.
You can't see what I just did it to camera, but that makes sense.
That's stupid, but sure.
Yeah, I guess I guess if you need to make 60 all new vehicles, why not make one platform and then just get like a bunch of Legos.
And then just build everything on top of that.
And then you get to claim that you're making new cars when it's really like 22
Well, this is what's wild, right?
So they're going to build the plan currently sits at 29 EVs, 15 plug-in hybrid vehicles, 24 hybrids and 39 gasoline cars.
I got this from AutoCar, which I will be linking in the description.
It was part of an investor conference that I'll be totally honest.
I finished the part of my life where I sit through those.
I used to try to report stuff as it broke that I remember reporting on like when Ford was like, oh, we're building the next like China beating EV concept thing.
It'll be out in a year.
And this is like two years ago and there's no evidence to exist.
It's mostly just a hype.
It's like it's just it's just that that video from Microsoft where what's his name?
What is it? Steve Ballmore or whatever walks out on stage is just like developers, developers, developers, but for car companies.
It's one of the greatest.
They gave that white boy a little bit of sauce.
It was a ball time.
Whenever my wife and I develop film at home, we just chant that to each other back and forth.
That's really good.
We bring out the bottle of Kodak HC 110.
Just chant developer in each other.
You two married.
You each married the right woman for each other.
In other bad press conferences, I always think about that the really disastrous PS3 E3 unveil where they say 699 US dollars in 2005.
It's just silence.
We're going to miss those days soon.
That'll be a billion dollars.
Yeah, I watched.
Yeah, I watched a bunch of people get Charlie Brown football kick into forgetting that.
No, you don't like don't spend money on Xbox things right now.
Y'all.
Yeah.
Yes, it's clear green.
It's got a clear green plastic case on the new Xbox.
It's going to be $1,000 and all of that money goes to Jen.
Anyway, so Stalantis is they got 60 cars or 110 cars.
I want to come out with 50% of its cars will be on just three platforms.
The first of which is called STLA one, which as far as I can tell is a catch all for sizes ranging from city, small, medium, large and frame.
Like, I don't know what the kind of modularity of this is and I am questioning even now as I say it to you if that's actually true.
Because I mean that like car companies have stretched platform shape.
I'm not intended.
Platforms have stretched shared platforms before.
Like, I don't know.
Isn't that even all the way up to like the Lamborghini Urus?
Isn't that also like kind of a golf still or whatever?
Yeah, it's like, I mean, there's a little bits of it in there.
But like, apparently this is like BC and D segments, which makes a little bit more sense.
Which is kind of, I was like, I don't know where I got that information from.
I'm sorry.
If we edited this podcast, I would just delete it.
This one isn't going to get edited though.
It's in New York.
I just don't edit for, I just don't edit for that kind of content.
Alex, when she was pitch hitting for the show, it was like,
do you want me to edit out all the us and ums?
And I'm like, no, you got to leave.
You got to leave that texture in there.
You got to leave us dying while we forget.
People need to know that we're fallible and human.
Yeah, that's like Opal Astrid of Peugeot 507, I guess.
That makes sense.
So I guess I'll have another one for the frame stuff.
I don't know where the hell I got that from.
Anyway, there you go.
I made a mistake live on air.
Even in my John Oliver segment.
You corrected it live on air.
Well, yeah.
I mean, I would sooner die than be wrong on here.
So I would get a thousand emails so fast.
BC and D platform.
So gentle.
They are correct.
They know at least as much as me half the time.
Usually more.
So they're going to, they're going to put, you know, BC and D platform.
They're going to underpin 30 cars with this new STLA one platform by 2035.
The real story of this is that they're the scientists is currently
chasing every Chinese OEM because the goal is to get new car development down
to 24 months rather than spending their current 40 months on a dev cycle for a new car.
So, you know, you might say at this point like Victoria, wouldn't a good way to catch
up to China be like to focus on high volume, high selling cars done really,
really well since Chinese cars aren't just made quickly, but they're actually
quite good instead of pumping out 110 new cars in less time than a single
presidential term, you know, like the, the, the automaker rabbit strategy.
Well, yeah, that makes a lot more sense.
I don't understand why they're doing this, but yeah, what they will be doing is
they're just going to focus on Peugeot, Fiat, Ram, Jeep and their pro one line,
which is just all the work trucks and vans.
Cause the vans get sold under like 85 badges.
You could buy a Ram pro master as every French car company has ever existed.
Like, and it's still the exact same thing.
They're everywhere in Paris.
It's kind of funny.
It's so funny, especially like, I don't know.
I just see it's the, it's the ones in the U S that have the Ram badges on it
that actually feels the most like I am a, you know, when like a Corgi gets
crossed with another dog and it just kind of looks like a Corgi wearing a shitty
disguise, the Ram styling on the trip, like the small van always is just like,
buddy, you're not a Ram.
I think it's cute though.
You used to be a wolf or whatever.
So how many of that?
They're really, they are bringing badge engineering back in the like everything
old as do again.
It can be an oldsmobile.
It could be a Pontiac.
It can be a Chevy like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, the, the, what they said with Emmanuel Capilano told Auto Car that
every slantist product isn't just going to be a lazy rematch.
He said they quote need to change.
I don't believe him.
He said like a liar.
They need to quote change the design body type and shape and brand attributes.
All the features that are characteristic for each and every brand.
In the meantime, we're working on following launches on the same platform where
most of the effort in terms of capital expenditure is on diversifying,
really diversifying the models and lineup and not just rebadging.
So you will have the new Pujo first and after that you'll have a new Vauxhall
that is not a rebadged Pujo and then an Alfa Romeo, a Jeep or whatever end quote.
Huh.
So I guess they are just going to continue neglecting all of the brands that
are Pujo, Fiat, Ram and Jeep, which sounds like what they were doing already.
That does seem.
Remind me again of the current Chrysler lineup of products.
You mean the Pacifica and then the Voyager, which is just.
The Voyager got dropped.
You're right.
It's just the Pacifica.
It's just the Pacifica.
It's just the Pacifica.
There was a, I forget who I was talking to.
So which listener that I met in person was talking to you about this,
but like I, they could have just kept the most recent Chrysler 300
in production forever.
And by most recent, I mean like that Mercedes chassis still has a couple
of years left in it, right?
That Dalmer chassis, that like 90s class chassis.
Yeah, I, it's crazy that they're coming out here and be like,
we're doing all of these new cars and who's getting these new cars?
It's all of the brands that we've already been putting out new things for.
And then sure, we'll like not badge engineer them onto like these other brands,
but like this feels, does it feel like they're not doing anything actually
new when they're trying to like, this is like when you were like,
it really feels like they got told that they needed a big new.
Initiative, but they forgot.
And then at the last minute, like, can we just kind of slide deck together
or just rebrand all the shit we were going to do anyways and just make it
like flashy.
Can you make, can you make it call it something like fast lane and then
just make it real dome sounding and then we can, you know,
I'll just do something really quick here because I didn't, I didn't get to this
in the notes, but let me just see.
If we take 110 models and we divide that across 14 brands,
that's 7.8 cars per brand, which would actually take Chrysler back to
being almost functional as a car company.
That would be close.
I think the thing is that like, you know, we, during this investor day
presentation, we got a sneak glimpse of what is supposedly going to be the
Chrysler airflow, which if you'll remember from, I think it was three years
ago, we were promised to have on the market by last year as like this
incredibly gorgeous cutting edge EV.
And instead during the investor day conference, it was like, oh, this is
a crossover with a gas engine.
Yeah.
It's just a two row crossover with a gas engine.
And apparently everything's going to be modular.
So they can put an EV and drivetrain in it or they can put a diesel engine
in it or make it a hybrid, which is we all know is the way to make really
well engineered cars is to make it so that none of the drivetrain even
remotely is thought about during the design of the chassis.
You should always build cars so that they are just like waiting for a plug
in play power unit to drop into it.
That's how you get good handling, smooth driver experience, a good UI.
You know, that's generally what people look for is like a, you know, I
continue to be haunted by the words of guest Kevin Williams, who said that
every fucking EV launched in America.
It looks like those fucking sketchers shoes with light up on the bottom
that have the big chunky bottoms.
It's really, and it's just, if you're like the boss of like Dodge,
I mean, I guess is Tim Kaniscus not the, is he just the Ram boss or is he the
boss of Dodge?
I believe he's just Ram.
Okay.
Because they have like, they have, they have Antonio Filosa, who is the
guy I remember who's the head of Stellantis.
They have Tim Kaniscus, who I'm pretty sure is just Ram.
And then they have 13 other guys because they have 13 other car companies.
If you're one of those guys whose company didn't get named in this, like,
are you, ooh, that's probably not good.
That when I started searching for Timothy Kaniscus, his full legal name,
I immediately, the auto complete was Trump.
Are you telling me the CEO of Ram might be a Trump guy?
Yeah.
Oh, my faves are implicated.
He's former CEO, he's former CEO of Dodge.
That's what it is.
Okay.
And then chief executive officer.
Okay.
Okay.
We could add him on LinkedIn.
And then he could tell us to kill ourselves.
It was just like, Alfa Romeo being left for dead at all of this does make me
pretty sad.
But like, hey, the dealer in Capitol Hills, those tons of 2024 models in there.
I know.
Yeah.
2024 models.
Hey, do you know what this entire thing stinks of?
No.
This entire thing stinks of Dodge Hornet.
It does.
It does.
This is how you get the Dodge Hornet.
This is how you get the Dodge Hornet.
This is how you badge engineer a, cause I'm sorry.
Dodge's cars, even on their purported existing 40 month dev cycle.
Sometimes they're coming in a little hot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And how hot are they going to be coming in in 24 months when they're designed to
be plug and play with different drive trim?
It's not going to be pretty for a model year or two.
Jordan, do you remember the Chevrolet uplander?
Are you trying to updog me right now?
What's an uplander?
It was the successor model of the Chevrolet venture.
It was their mini van.
The last mini van they made up to the financial crisis.
And it has the laziest.
They also made a Pontiac version.
I've never seen this man before in my entire life.
It's the car.
I've seen a thousand of them.
It's the car that is used in the opening bank heist scene of one battle after
another, which did make me do the point.
I mean, and like the, the, the Leonardo DiCaprio point gift at the
screen.
It got heavily based on the GM predecessor mini vans was heavily
based on it, which means they upgraded to.
Huh.
Yeah.
So they remade that as a Pontiac.
And I think you didn't have a Buick version.
Or they made a Saturn version.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And do you see what those rebrands look like?
They are the exact same mini van wearing a fake mustache.
This is like, this is what I bet by popping the like badge engineering,
but like literally badge only like when I said Legos,
I meant like pop that off.
That right on.
And then it's like, there's going to be more distance between a Chevrolet
SS and a Holden Commodore or Holden, whatever the hell those were.
Monero.
No, the Commodore to the two doors.
They turned into the GTO.
Somebody's going to yell at me for this.
I'm tired.
Maybe.
We're really just doing the thing where the two of us just name cars
like baseball players at each other.
Oh my God.
This is the sob 94 X.
I was at Houston cars and coffee woods.
And it was one of the, it was one of like the,
they brought out the big guns Houston cars and coffee.
Like there was a Zonda there.
Oh my God.
No, that was the one where they also brought an old Michael Schumacher Ferrari
started it and revved the balls off of it in the middle of the shopping center
in Houston.
And you know what I fucking poked out about?
I saw the sob crossover.
That's a rarer than at 40.
And it was just in the parking lot.
It had like mismatched wheels.
It had been beaten to shit.
It was incredible.
That's what, that's what all of their cars are going to be.
They're all just going to be like.
And.
Like what's the point of having all of these brands?
You could save so much money by not having to Photoshop new logos on things.
I actually think I'm beginning to wonder if like Stalantis is like a CEO make
work program.
Meant to keep the unemployment rate for the gentry of the American auto industry
at acceptable levels by just inventing new car companies for them to appoint
CEOs to and then never have to make a product.
It feels like a publisher's clearing house, but for car companies where it's
like if you are not that it's like a five below or Ross for a TJ Maxx
or like another like Marshall's.
It's a Marshall's.
Yeah, it's like, oh, could you not truly make it on your own?
Come here into the Stalantis trench coat and maybe together we could become
one real car company again.
Yeah, so I don't know.
I mean, I assume that these will all.
Most of these cars won't exist in three and a half years because again,
building a car requires a supply chain that exists, which that might be
another geopolitics special.
But Jordan, are you familiar with the straight of, I think it's Albaad Mandev?
I'm turning to my wife, she might know.
What is the name of the straight that they're going to block next?
Oh, Ben, Al.
I'm going to spot here.
Sorry, babe.
They're blocking another straight of cars.
Yeah.
They're blocking another straight of water.
That's cool.
Well, the Yemen is announced that they're going to block the
straight that leaves the Suez Canal, which is you might remember from that
little incident a few years back.
Al Mandev.
Thank you, babe.
Babe Al Mandev.
As you might remember from the little incident with a little ship I like to
call the Ever Given a few years back is pretty crucial to global trade.
The topic that is always Ever Given is for to talk about.
Yeah.
Oh, buddy.
Oh, my God.
No, it's so over.
It's never been more over.
It's time to buy Warren Buffett's next book.
It's time to buy Warren Buffett's next book.
It's time to, again, I'm sorry to the listener who commented that got a little
I assume jokingly heard that I said there's no reason to buy a gas daily,
but like I'm sorry.
We're anchored on June 1 straight being open.
JP Morgan Chase.
We're straight open plus eight right now.
And yeah, let me just take a big sip of this can of Coke and see if the
straight of her mousse is open yet.
Yeah.
Well, no, cool.
Yeah.
Grandpa has to go to ruin the next game instead.
Okay.
I do love how he was like, I can't attend to my son's wedding because
the straight of her mousse requires too much attention and the day after the
Israelis have basically struck the entire Middle East all at once.
He's like, ah, fuck it.
I can't wait.
The next game is tonight.
Does anybody like he is a New Yorker?
He's a Floridian.
I mean, I guess he is.
He is also spiritually a New Yorker.
I'm going to try to next time we record.
I was just going to I'm lay I'm I'm my wife is not with me.
A beautiful Stella is not with me in New York right now, but I am still going
and getting dinner on Wednesday with her aunt and uncle.
My favorite dual income.
No kids retired to New York Jews because one they're both incredible car
people and I love them a lot.
But also they will tell me stories about sixties, seventies and eighties
New York that will have me do expit takes because they will drop names like Roy
Code in like their social circles.
But like, you know, New York at the sixties and seventies was just like
that.
Apparently if you were like forked any of your kind of cool.
Yeah.
So anyways, maybe I'll have some fun Donald Trump stories.
Um, fuck it in that apartment over there.
Only in New York.
I'm podcasting.
That's more shameful.
Um,
I did have one last thing about slantus to close us out on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I will have one more thing to close out slantus wise after this
thing because I it's the gift keeps on given.
I can't believe it's real.
I can't believe it.
Like I feel like we're getting punked.
This is a, this is a like a Truman show special.
The slantus, the car company was made specifically for this podcast.
I used to think I was being a trooper showed, but not like really.
I did just have that childhood anxiety thing where I was worried that people,
my parents were paying people to be my friends because I've never had a high
opinion of myself.
Yeah.
That's my, I could, I, I have a vault story, but it might be too sad
actually.
It's pride, baby.
I could cut it out if it's really grip.
When I was a kid, my mom used to write me emails from Charlie Brown
because I didn't have any friends.
And I would just kind of sweet.
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard your mom doing, which I know
considering I forgot that I said I was mad at your dead mom the other week.
It was before my brother was born.
And before I started developing a independent personality and became
fruity.
So were you, I mean, how old were you?
Oh, I was like five.
Okay.
That's the oldest.
Did you have an email account at five?
I think my mom made me like one and we would check it together because I was
going to be like the kid at the digital age, you know.
That's why she forced me to get a computer science degree.
Okay.
Okay.
No, it's all coming together.
I used to play with Microsoft Excel for fun.
We had a big old book.
That's the saddest thing you ever said.
That's the saddest.
That was the worst.
You know, big old.
I also used to play with a Microsoft digital product when I was a child.
It was called Halo.
It was for the Xbox.
That way we're kind of the same.
No, I used to like make little like drawings in Excel basically.
Oh, that's kind of cute.
That's like kind of a paint by numbers sort of thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm so glad you've got friends now.
I know.
Can you imagine like trying to explain to like six year old Vicky like,
don't worry, someday 50 people will show up at a beach because you said you were going
to be hanging out there with cameras.
Yeah.
The turn around is incredible.
Yeah.
It's never Vicky stocks higher than ever as opposed to the rest of the market.
No, the market's still up.
It's fine.
Don't worry about it.
There was a huge tech sell off my odd Friday.
Wasn't there?
I don't know.
I don't give a shit.
Okay.
No, I'm waiting for the ultimate economic indicator, which is guys falling out of towers in the
financial district of New York.
Kara posting the photo of the building that had just the random door on the side of it.
They built it was into buildings after the 30s.
They wanted to eat.
They broke too many windows throwing themselves onto Fifth Avenue.
They needed just a handy little push door.
They just built themselves out of.
Anyway, they made a shirt just like we did on the podcast, except AI generated a shirt
for the Ram company that has an American flag with 39 stars and a silhouette of what is
clearly a Toyota Tacoma.
Motor one found this and posted about it on Twitter because they refused to get off there
for some reason, probably because we have turned blue sky into an urbanist predator landscape
for car magazines.
Yeah, which I didn't have a good enough internet connection on the train to do it, and I knew
we were going to this episode was full up, but we're going to talk about Mexico's state
funded electric car next week, throwing that out there.
Oh, yeah, that'd be fun.
There are some people on blue sky who were deranged about they're like, oh, this could
replace all cars in America.
No, it couldn't.
It goes 30 miles an hour.
You could replace a lot of things.
We got to be honest about cars and how big America is.
Do you know how long it would take you to get from one side of America to the other flat
out at 30 miles an hour?
But surely we just use high speed rail.
Yeah, just do high speed rail.
The AI generated shirt is just I have been trying to think by myself since I saw it.
What 11 states does what Ram not think are legitimate?
California.
Yeah.
Washington.
Absolutely.
New York.
New York.
Ingestion pricing is like the most anti-RAM thing I can imagine.
Connecticut.
I don't know enough.
Connecticut's weird.
I don't know enough about the Northeast to really say.
I know that New Hampshire is basically Alabama in a trench coat.
Yeah, Maine is either Portland, Maine, or it's where Graham Plattener crawled out of.
So it's kind of not viable as a state.
And just like we're not viable as a country.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I feel like Ram would be a believer in kind of like the big Idaho or like 51st state thing
that some of the like rural Oregonians want to do because like if you drive a Ram through
downtown Portland, they actually pelt you with eggs.
But if you drive a Ram through like, I don't know, fucking anywhere else in the state,
they give you a standing ovation.
Can I name another city in Oregon that isn't Portland?
Ooh.
That's Washington.
That's Washington.
That's Washington.
Uh, I can't.
Ben.
Not a bit.
Ben.
Oh, sure.
Sure.
Sure.
That one's a big one.
Ish.
No, but like then it's, you know, just neo-Nazis because like the whole way that the Pacific
Northwest was settled was like all of the like union troops came to Washington and all
of the Confederate ones went to Oregon.
And so like Oregon was like deeply entrenched as like a whites only place for forever.
And Washington was like one of the first states where you could do interracial marriage.
Lands of extremes.
Washington is still not going far enough.
Trust me.
No, I know.
I know.
We got into reconstruction two here also.
Don't worry.
Don't ask what happened to people.
Don't ask what happened to the people who were here before it was settled.
Again, and that's why we're calling it Indigenous American boat recycles in woke two.
We should also like give the mournership of the company, I think.
At the very least, at the very least.
Perhaps we should just stop using human beings as mascots for things.
This would also have the side effect of banning the New England Patriots, which I think would
be a great move.
Yeah.
Sorry to burst anyone's bubble.
The fucking Patriots liveried 737 deportation flights.
Yeah.
It was fucking in Seattle because they're flying people out of the fucking King County Metropolitan
Airport with it because that's where they do all the deportations here.
I'm sorry, ontologically evil football team.
I mean, name me a non-evil American football team.
Sure.
Sure.
But like the Patriots are the death star of the NFL.
Yes.
Yes.
Tom Brady kisses his son on the mouth and that's not like wrong, wrong.
I don't like it.
The IndyCar racist shirt, I can kind of see how that got through enough people at IndyCar
to get up there.
How do you as Ram put an AI generated shirt up and not one person went, hey, that doesn't
look like our truck.
That just doesn't look like our truck.
Note if their trucks look like that.
I assume that like at this point, there's like one person who is like a contractor of
a contractor of a contractor who runs their merch store, who probably doesn't make anything
close to a living wage whose job it is to be like, grok, draw me a Ram with an American
flag and I need to put it on a shirt and then put it on the website because I have to hit
50 shirts today in order to like, you know, make rent.
And so it just never approached like a person's eyes.
That's just my spitballing.
Probably.
I will say that for a company that's putting that level of care into the things that it
is publicly selling, it does give me slight pause about the 110 refreshed or new vehicles.
The front's going to fall off.
It's going to fall off.
I can't wait for the Pacifica to get like a what fifth refresh where they just make the
entire car out of the light bar.
I mean, they just announced the Durango staying.
The Durango is old enough to drink and drive itself, I think.
That's ancient.
Again, like the Stalantis' goal is to be the official vehicle of state repression and
violence.
So the Durango is perfect.
Yeah.
And Stalantis is here to exist to give us content and make me worry that I died.
And this is some sort of heaven sent reward for me is the podcast and this like endless
stream of showy-did-fraud about this car company that cannot stop making, if not straight-up
bad choices, at least objectively funny, confusing choices.
I'm going to have to figure out another title for this episode because I already used the
foot gun to surpass Metal Gear for last episode.
Yeah.
This might be the foot gun to surpass Metal Gear.
I may have used that headline too early.
I might have used that one early.
Just thinking about what else we talked about.
Amtrak on the train.
$1.50 hot dog economy.
You're the one who names these.
I usually just let you take the wheel on naming.
It's all of my years of posting that flow through me in a single moment and divinely
guide me to give me a good name.
It's like, I mean, to be fair, it is miraculous that we came up with the name of the show
just bullshitting back and forth as quickly as we did at like one in the morning, my time.
Because like, you know, that was the nicest thing.
A lot of the aftermath folks said they're like, what a joy it must be for you two to
have a name that you actually like and not one that you just settled for.
Yeah.
Oh.
No, it's cool.
I get to wear a shirt that has her name on it.
And like, I'm like, this is cool.
Actually, I get compliments all the time on it.
It's really cool.
I'm trying to figure out.
I think we have podcasted long enough that I am no longer going to the event that I was
maybe going to tonight, which is totally fine.
I'm exhausted.
But there was part of me was just like, do I be an asshole?
Do I wear my own merch to the club?
Do I just do that?
I wore it to the photo walk in the hopes it would help people find me.
But I forgot that I post a lot of pictures of myself and I'm six foot one.
And there were not a lot of people wearing combat boots at the beach.
So it was a pretty obvious tell.
Fucking bike.
Oh, Vicki, I think that's an episode as we think that's an episode.
Yeah, thank you for listening.
Thank you for subscribing to the Patreon.
If you are a subscriber that helps a lot.
If you came out to the event this weekend with me, thank you.
I appreciate it.
I appreciate all the film people gave me.
I promise I will use it.
But oh, no, just yeah, if you came out to if you came out to my event in Pittsburgh
also like, thank you.
Yeah, it's it was it was a weird weekend where we both had IRL things that vaguely connected
to the show going on.
Yeah, which was cool.
It was really fun.
It was reminded me that like, well, this is a goofy thing for us that we kind of just
get to like shitpost each other for an hour and a half.
People really like it.
And it also like actually seems to be having some kind of positive impact, which in a world
that is so relentlessly shitty constantly just feels like a huge victory.
So I'll take it.
I'm in a good mood.
I'll take it.
I'm also so tired.
I talked to 50 people.
Oh, yeah, I am.
I really do anytime I see a comment or we get an email or I get a DM or someone sees
me in person and like talks about this show letting them feel like it's finally safe for
them to reconnect to their love of cars.
Like I that means the world because nothing like this existed before you and I came out.
Like that's it's part of the like I bounced out of the industry because I knew I didn't
feel like I could come out in the industry.
Yeah.
So I yeah, it does mean the world.
Yeah, I have a very similar story.
Yeah, this is the thing that I know we are both very happy to do.
And also we feel very fortunate that it seems to resonate with so many people trans and not
and everything.
So yeah.
Yeah, well, that's why I'm going to do.
Yeah, be yourself as pride.
And like, you know, don't forget that it's, you know, if you are queer and not ace, then
you should go do things that are queer.
That's fun.
Yeah, I am trans, but I am also lesbian.
I highly recommend.
I would recommend checking it out.
It's pretty good.
And also like this whole being a type thing.
It actually rocks.
I'm about to hit like six years on hormones and I have to say the one thing that's been
really positive is finally getting comfortable enough with my body that I'm like, I probably
don't need to like wear a full face of makeup and be like hi fem all the time for people
to like correctly gender me just because I live in a friendlier place and people know
me and also like I don't really give a shit anymore.
And it's great.
I highly recommend be like butch it up.
Yeah, absolutely.
I don't think anything I do like quite qualifies as butch, but it's adjacent.
So, you know, yeah, I will if anyone has not told you this yet this pride month, you're
gay car bombs or are proud of yourself.
I the closet is comforting, but the closet is also a prison.
Yeah, the closet is a prison.
I understand not doing it for safety, but if you were worried about being uncomfortable,
you got to fly.
And that is my one piece of advice to anyone because I spent too many prides, not really
not really doing me to the full extent of the what has become the Jordan experience.
Oh, anyway, I'm going to read the cat.
I'm going to read our names.
At the end of our episodes, $50 subscriber names.
I'm explaining this to my co-host because she appears to be sleepy enough.
She's forgotten.
You just said our names and I was just like our date.
We say our names at the beginning of the show.
I didn't really clicked.
I know for pride month, we will be giving you your names and pronouns.
Anyway, thank you to our $15 Patreon subscribers for supporting us.
We really appreciate it.
Thank you to Ashlyn Adam Mancuso.
Thank you to G that Roushmustang was great when it ran.
There's a story to that one.
Thank you to studio Nixie.
Thank you to totally not Saudi oil bribe money.
Sorry, we already covered it in this episode.
It's not going to work.
We appreciate it.
If Lucid wants to sponsor us, they can give me a car.
That would be cool.
I'll take that.
I'm still going to be a communist.
Also probably said enough things about Saudi Arabia.
I don't think they're going to give me a car.
I don't think they're going to give us cars.
Yeah.
Thank you to Alex Kay.
Thank you to Lucy masseuse, JD Santos, Jeremy Tanner, deluxe,
Katrina, sloppy head enjoyer with underscores between head and sloppy
and enjoyer, Ember, crucibles champion, the people's pillow princess,
Mimi, Bean, Brie Henry, Sable, James Gilbreth, Charlie Stangle.
Jordan should buy my spark EV, which has no open recalls and emphasis
on some range.
Honestly, we should start advertising the Patreon readout at the end
as like a classified ad section.
Like back when you look at like old gay newspapers, it's like
personals in there, like, you know, seeking tea for tea relationship
must be into like model trains or something.
I know we're mad at NPR because they published so much.
I'm so mad at NPR.
Oh, my God.
Have you heard about the regional NPR stations where they were doing
basically like Craigslist on air?
It was like a listener college show.
You're like, hello, I am in this area and I am looking to sell blank.
And then the hosts would be like, all right, if you're looking for so
and so, it was one of those like, damn, radio show as a
as a literal public utility.
Yeah.
Thank you to Theodora Constantine, John V, Buick, Adam Sheppard,
Steven Duckworth, Phelan, Mildly perturbed, Asherin, Chris Heppner,
Jerry at homogameragenda.com, Dexas, Tara Hale Storm, Will,
Steph Schrader, Princess Reese, Brackets, Cat Eared Help Desk,
and Brackets. Begin another pair of Brackets.
Derogatory and Brackets.
Emma Alex.
Trapped in username Samsara by my attachment to a bit.
Jet fuel can't melt these dreams.
Nathaniel Hubble, Saturday's Claire.
Wingsmith will continue to use Molly Paste as eyeshadow until
Victoria looks up what it is.
I did look up what it is and it's probably not good for your skin.
You probably shouldn't do that.
That would scare me to put that close to your eyes.
I would say don't do that.
What is it?
It's like a, it's like a non-heating lubricant for like very
Oh my God, it's that stuff.
Yeah.
Maybe it's not even like a lubricant, but like, you know,
the gray grease stuff that comes in a tube, it doesn't look nice.
That they tell you all over the tube not to put on your human body.
Yeah, I think, I think it, I think the recommendation for this is a
chemical eye wash station.
Thank you to Penile Sparing Vaginoplasty.
The Toyota Prius GT 300.
Now that's a fucking car to stand around.
That's a car.
That's a car right there.
That's a car.
Thank you to Sylvia, Bin Springs,
Fmort, Quip, McDulp,
Haas Podar of Ostia,
from Ace Combat Six,
Fires of Liberation,
Emoticon Face.
Thank you to Julie E. Aguilar, Gavin G. Wiz,
Team Radar Love, who runs an excellent used car buying service on
bluesky.com.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you'd like to find something incredibly rare in European
Classifieds, he's your man.
Thank you to RC Duke, Crystal Storm, John Russell,
Josh J, and Selectric.
Thank you all of you.
I really appreciate it.
And we will see you next week.
Maybe we can find out if something really funny happens today.
Bye.
It's really funny.
Bye.
Where are you here?
Okay, let me stop this.
About this episode
Pride Month frames the conversation as the hosts trade travel and photo-walk stories, spot special rail liveries, and swap DIY wins like a pizza-box squirrel stopper. The episode then turns to transit safety, recounting drivers ending up on light-rail tracks and arguing for grade separation along Rainier Avenue. From there, it dives into corporate “pride” and DEI backlash, merch and inventory realities, and Stellantis platform strategy—STLA One, modular powertrains, and badge engineering—before ending with more queer community reflection and shout-outs.
air cooled
badge engineering
badges
dev cycle
driver aid
EV
fast lane 2030 plans
Fiat
haptic feedback
hybrid
Chevrolet Uplander
Chrysler 300
Chrysler Fifth Avenue
Chrysler New Yorker
Chrysler Pacifica
Chrysler Voyager
Dodge Hornet
Dodge Ram
Ford Edge
Ford F-150
Holden Commodore
Jeep Wrangler
Lamborghini Urus
Mazda CX-5
Nissan Skyline
Peugeot iOn
Pontiac Trans Am
Ram ProMaster
Suzuki Jimny
Toyota Land Cruiser
Toyota Prius
Toyota Tacoma
Volkswagen Beetle
Original notes
Hello! On this episode of Tran Girlismo, Jordan calls in from DA BIG APPLE BABY, which means our audio isn't quite as good as normal. Apologies in advance! We discuss the success of Jordan's art show and Victoria's photowalk; thank you to the incredible people of Pittsburgh and Seattle, the Transgender Paris and New York City of America, respectively (not to be confused with New York City, the Transgender Istanbul of America).
We then discuss one of the greatest Seattle Moments in recent memory, where someone drove their Mazda CX-5 so far down the Link light rail in Seattle they got stuck inside a station. If you're listening and that was you: Please stop driving! Forever! Next, we discuss Robby Starbuck's attempt to get Harley Davidson considered "woke" for the second time, and Victoria explains her disillusionment with pinkwashing after experiencing it up close. Finally, the girls discuss Stellantis, again. FaSTLAne2030, here we come. Christ.
Our intro theme as always is off of Stella Spazzatura's Horse Tranquilizer Simulator!
Referenced Stories:
Mazda CX-5 On Da Light Rail @Road&Track (hey look ma my city made R&T!!!)
The incredible investigation of Brightline's death toll @Miami Herald
Harley Davidson Is Woke Again @USAToday
Toyota Drops "DEI" @Fox Business
Nissan Drops "DEI" @Fox Business
Will Sommer's Analysis Of Harley War @TheBulwark (groan)
FaSTLAne2030 @Autocar
Emanuele Cappellano Interview @Autocar
The Actual Correct Platform Segments (B, C, and D) For STLA One @CarBuzz
Chrysler Airflow Spotted @TopSpeed
Original Airflow Concept @MotorTrend
AI-Generated RAM Shirt @Motor1's X Account
Tran Girlismo
Victoria Scott & Jordan Hoffstetter
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119:24