Episode #209 -Saving Volkswagen

In a world with entirely too many shows about cars, this is another Pointless Automotive

Podcast.

Okay, anyways, because you needed more intro music, welcome to another Pointless Automotive

Podcast. Your 11th favorite flavor of car media enjoyment. I'm Frank. How are you, Chadwick?

I'm Chadwick, a spoiler. Doing all right, man. How are you doing tonight? I'm over my, what is it,

Turbo, Chlamydia? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the panel of experts were like a quorum got

together and came up with that diagnosis. Yep. Big, if true. And right, because how are you with

that, by the way? Because you're proudly wearing a New England Patriots hoodie. Yes. Go to the

bowl. Your football team is still in this mess. Unlike mine, my San Francisco 49ers,

who flew in the playoffs yet again. Although whatever, every single player was damaged.

So, yeah. Even Sourdough Sam, I think was, I think he blew out his, I don't know, cervix,

something. Sourdough Hole. Exactly. Someone sourdoughed his Sam. But it's a medical condition.

Don't look it up. Yeah. So, you're in good spirits, I suppose. Getting there. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. A little beer doesn't hurt. Yeah. Yeah, man, doing okay. Well, yeah. Well, nobody,

nobody could save my San Francisco 49ers. Maybe they'll come back next year.

But speaking of saving, you know, we occasionally, much to the chagrin of our listeners,

but benefit potentially to any, you know, sea sweets with major OEMs out there,

we occasionally like to take a brand, blow it off, and really just figure out a way to

save it, right? Mm-hmm. With Buick, with Mitsubishi. I believe it was like fiat.

Maybe. You know what? So, can I, can I give a brief explanation?

Real quick. And this isn't a tangent, I promise. Normally, this goes off in a wild tangent, but

it carries more than a hint of tangent to it already, but yeah, go for it, dude. Yeah,

okay, great. So, this is what I've actually been thinking about for a little bit, and this

is saving Volkswagen. Maybe the most Nazi of all automotive manufacturers. And contested.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Although, you know, Porsche. Porsche and Mercedes-Benz would like to have a word.

Still, nobody knows what they were doing in the late 30s, but Volkswagen has been interesting,

because I, A, I famously forget that they exist frequently on this podcast, and B,

I've thought about them a fair bit, because there's some, some of their products I really like.

For instance, I have a, you know, an early 2000s Volkswagen Passat live at auction on cars and

bids right now, and it's a lovely machine. We've talked about that era of Volkswagen being

peak Volkswagen, and maybe that's true, maybe that isn't, depending on where we each decide we

want to go with saving Volkswagen. But I was thinking about it, A, because of our conversations

about peak Volkswagen, and B, you know, I think it's been roughly a month ago now, they said that,

hey, just kidding, we can't sell the ID buzz because we're sort of incompetent, and sort of,

you know, whether the product is good or not is immaterial because we can't sell cars.

So we're just going to take a year off. There's not going to be a 2026 ID buzz,

which is never a great sign for your product, if you just decide you don't want to

have it for an entire model year. So it got me thinking about this. And then,

you know, I mentioned to you last night, hey, you know, we should do this as a,

as a, you know, a thought exercise and a topic to save Volkswagen. And then I heard

on the Carmudgeon show today, earlier today, after I already discussed about this as being

a podcast, they were talking about some of the history of Volkswagen and the pros,

what they did well then. And which is mildly annoying because it aligns with a lot about

what I wanted to talk about for this episode. So now it feels like I'm cribbing from them,

but I'm not, damn it. So with all of that said, I forget about Volkswagen a lot,

you tend not to forget about Volkswagen. Where should we start? Should we start

with actually trying to figure out what the hell the current lineup is?

So I actually, yeah, I did a little research, right? And I knew they weren't doing well,

but they're doing absolutely decidedly unwell financially right now. So their current lineup,

they do have sub models, all that kind of fancy stuff, kind of like, what is it,

Buick has like 20 models effectively, but it's really not, it's three of them.

And then for some reason, like Lotus, they all start with E.

Every one of them. It's ridiculous. Volkswagen though, six vehicles in size.

Let's go by size. I'll do it from appreciating mass. So golf, you've got the Jetta.

Sorry. Golf's dead. Golf's dead, my guy. There's no golf for North America.

It's still on their website effectively, but the GT is not for 26. It's not for 26 though.

It's gone for 26.

Whatever they had on their current Volkswagen.com websites, they probably fired their marketing

team already. So you've got the golf, the Jetta, the ID4, the Tauze, the Tiguan and the Atlas.

That is all Volkswagen offers. I didn't say ID Buzz because we just announced that's taken it.

You know, after your first year, that's especially a good point. When you take

a breather after your first year, when you take a year off, that's not a good pace.

Can I add a little bit to this suit? Because here's the thing.

When you and I are... I would consider us car people in the carosphere. We're certainly not

journalists. We're certainly not experts beyond the obscure bullshit that we'd like to pretend

we're experts in. But I would say we know more than the average Joe and or Blow.

When it comes to this sort of thing, if you and I can't sort out what new car offerings you're

bringing to market as a manufacturer, that's a problem. Because the golf is gone, but maybe

not, but maybe and the ID Buzz is gone, but it's still available because there's a million until

2025. And you didn't mention the GTI or the Golf R, which are under the Golf Umbrella,

but they kept those cars and then killed off the rest of the golf.

Again, it's a messy, messy soup. But then you also forgot the Atlas Cross, which is just a stripped

down Atlas. So that's why it's generalized. It's the Atlas. They just made it slightly fastbacky,

which is the stupid stop manufacturer. The sub model stuff is stupid. I didn't want to dig that up.

But effectively, those are the base models in their lineup. And it's...

Are there any outside of like, oh, we're sporty, enthusiast minded folks over here.

So of course, we're going to say the GTI and the Golf R are compelling products.

And sure, I mean, for the enthusiast base, famously small and stingy,

sure, yeah, they're compelling products. Is the rest of their lineup have anything

like truly of a compelling offering? So they obviously tried to... I think dieselgate kind

of forced their hand, right? They abandoned the whole diesel thing, which I think they

could have done right by making it a good diesel system. But I can get how it was such a tarnish thing.

They moved into electric and the electric marketplace is just horrible right now.

And they've got what? The ID4 and the buzz, which is going away. The ID4 is not exciting.

It's not a market leader. It's not selling very well. So what they... I don't know. They sell

Tigwans. I think that's their number one seller from what I saw. They sell a lot of

atlases. That's their second best seller behind the Tigwan, if you will.

Jetta's kind of sell, but I feel like they just lease forever and then they're bought heavily

discounted off lease. But they're not a terribly compelling product, which is a shame because

it was a compelling product for a long time. It just kind of got every possible edge

rounded off of it until it was just like an anamorphous blob that nobody trusted for

reliability or value or build quality. It's like straight up sedan. Sedan in the design

dictionary. You see a modern Jetta. Yeah, bland sedan. And then there's the towels.

They get to have a GLI, but still nobody cares. No one cares about a Tows either.

Who cares about a Tows, let alone a sport cross atlas or whatever. Just maybe like

to be man who yells at cloud for a second. Maybe my absolute least favorite

quote unquote design element or fad is get the existing product and make it slightly fast

and by product, I mean SUV. Make it slightly more fastbacky. And now it's sporty or a coop

cross over whatever or it adds nothing. It doesn't look better. And now you have a new

model and it's it's horseshit. So it is horseshit. That fast that it needs to die.

So do you want I mean, like, what are your what are your thoughts? Like how would you

how would you fix this soupy mess? Would you kill everything off and just start from a new

would you keep going the same direction but just like change marketing and add a splash of

color? Would you save almost nothing? Everything? I don't know. Like what's your what's your

thought? Like what should the new, you know, the Volkswagen of the future? What should what

should this be? It's got a new attitude. Let's go Volkswagen of the future, man.

First off, abandon the EV bullshit. It's it's not going anywhere. They're just

sinking a ton of cash into it. I don't even know how much R and D money was poured into

those their miniscule offerings. They're not doing anything. Get rid of them and make it for

the people again. You know, it's kind of just it's I don't know what people want. Like actively seek

Volkswagen right now. Right? Like there's some there's definitely brand loyalists they could

tap into. So that's what I'm going to kind of play towards a little bit like we always do a

little bit of enthusiast flavoring sprinkled about just that's the way we do it keeps

keep the GTI. I think you can't get rid of the GTI. You can't when you said keeps, I thought you

were talking about isn't that like a like a first sponsor? Yeah, wait, what? I'm pretty sure that's

a boner kill. But I think it's that or like hair or hair loss. Everything. I think it's one of

those. It's okay. Or you get like your hair and you get to keep your semi-turtured erection.

Yeah. If you watch car, it's like the old car magazines. Remember the ads in the back? It

was always like hair loss, erections, and fucking I don't even know car covers. You're looking at those

three advertisements. California car duster. Yeah, it's all still the same, dude. Boy, so if you

want to keep your hair and your boner hard, keep the GTI. I think you can't get rid of that,

right? You can't get rid of it. It's original hot hatch, baby. And then unfortunately, I hate

to say this, the Tiguan probably should stay because like mid-sized small crossovers are like fucking

number one awesome right now in the eyes of all buyers. They do have an R line version here,

but in Europe, they did have a full R Tiguan. So hot, spicy crossovers are kind of a big deal.

So I'd say keep that, make it a little cooler than what it is. Like don't make it as shitty

as it is, but make it a little cooler, keep the R line or the R, bring the R over.

GTI. We're keeping those two the rest. We're going to do a board wipe here. So I think

entry level for the people, like I said before, what's the cheapest Volkswagen right now? It's

probably like low 30s, right? I think you can get a base base Jetta for like 25.

That cheap, really. They're pretty cheap. Now they're pretty

spartan. There's not a whole lot to it, but I'm actually pretty shocked. And are those still

the one for turbo? I think they might be. Yeah, it's a, it's a pretty bad one.

Bring back the rabbit. Okay. Make it a smaller diminutive golf. Think, I'm thinking scale Mark

three, Mark four. Okay. Golf, golf size. And then even have a spicy version. We could throw a GTI

badge on there or some other kind of name and throw like a cool little spicy engine in there.

But I want this car to be affordable. Like he said, I want to be low to mid twenties. I want to have it

like you can even get a stripper version and get cloth seats, roll up windows, manual gearbox,

and get a fun motor and just kind of bring that driving fun, the enthusiasm back to like an

affordable hot hatch. Interesting. And I think if you park, like if you park a modern golf

next to like a Mark two golf GTI, the size difference is insane. Like how much it's

ballooned up. So I mean, that's kind of everything, but yeah. Yeah. And you can make a cool new,

like modern looking rabbit or retro looking rabbit badge, do whatever you want. It could be a lot

of fun. And there's a little bit of name cache with the rabbit brand. Right.

I think I kind of imagine the partnerships with that are available with like a marital aid

companies with the rabbit. Yeah. I mean, yeah, the cockering edition, it could be pretty good.

But that's Audi. You could have the rings, you know, four of them together. Exactly.

How did we get them stuck? We're like, that's one.

It's almost human centipede. Sort of the next thing we're going to move on. So I say,

bring back the rabbit. That'd be a fun little exercise. So you have a rabbit, you have a

GTI, you have a Tiger Iguana. You have the Tiger Iguana. I want to keep the Jetta,

but I want to make it weird again. Because to me, the Jetta, the Jetta was always interesting,

right? You think back the first two generations especially, it was a weird looking car when

you see one driving around the dimensions are weird. Like the hood is like so much lower than

the trunk. And it's just a, it's a weird card from a design standpoint. So I want to make

it weird again. I think that, I think it was what, 99.5? Is that when that Mark 4 came out?

And that was, I still think that car looks incredibly awesome with a little bit of fender

flares, just the way, I don't know, that thing's just brilliant. Make it kind of cool like that

again, because now it just looks like an A4. So like a retro callback, but not retro callback

to like the late 70s or like the Mark 1 or Mark 2 Jetta. You're talking like a neo, a neo,

like a neo retro sort of where you're falling back to the early 2000s.

Right. Which I think is a way better look than what we got now. Now it just,

it really looks like a watered down A4 now, right? Like that's how I describe it. But

I see we do that. I see A4 dead. Yeah, the A4 is, but eventually, they did share a platform

for the longest time though, right? Yeah, they did. Yeah. So it's still that. That's probably why

they killed the A4 because they can just soldier on the Jetta. I say we keep that retro kind of cool

look, make it look a lot different. Like it needs to not look like everything else on the market,

which Volkswagen did for so long with their entire lineup. Now, like an Atlas doesn't stand

out. A Tiguan looks like every other crossover. So they need to get that back. That's the

bottom line in all of this. But I think with that, we can bring back the GLI,

up the handling, keep it more like on the level of the GTI. I think that's a lot of fun to do with

their cheap little sedan. This is the wildest thing I did was I wanted to keep the Atlas,

but change it. Okay. And kind of make it look like an old retro bus. Like I don't know how

we do it. Maybe a lifted off-roading. I don't know, man. So basically the ID

buzz is going away and it will be supplanted by a gas crossover platform shared

bus creation. It could be. Yeah, it could be a large lifted bus looking thing. I don't know.

I think they could do something with that. The Atlas... What do you make it super boxy

and call it the thing? Oh, I don't know. That's not a bad one. I didn't settle on the name. I

don't like the Atlas. I don't know if you've ever spent any time with them. They're just

kind of like... They're deeply mediocre. I mean, I think they're fine.

Yeah, it's a vanilla large SUV. Outside of GTI and Golf R and ID buzz.

Outside of those three, the rest of it is utterly uninspired and bland.

So on that one, I figure it fucking out. I don't know if I'm there yet,

but I kind of want to do something weird, like totally interesting because I think

they want to keep a large vehicle. I think every OEM needs to offer a large three-row SUV

in this market. So I think that might be the way you get there. And then my final one,

which is probably the biggest stretchy stretch of all time, the Volkswagen bug comes back.

We've got a new new Beetle. Are they going to call it the new new Beetle?

No, it's going to be rear-wheel drive, rear engine. Okay. So harkening back to that.

I want to make a Turbo West that's a proper Porsche competitor. I think that would be

kind of fun like a budget because now if you go spicy motor in the back rear-wheel drive,

you're kind of getting a little bit of that flavor, right? Sure.

But I do think you could make a cheap one. I think that'd be kind of cool. I don't think

they'll ever do anything like that. It's just the packaging exercise.

Like if it was like the flat four from the Cayman, but detuned and despicified

and just slapped in the back. Interesting. Yeah. So that's, I mean, that's pretty much

it is just kind of bringing some interesting heritage stuff back and tweak in the brand.

Because honestly, when I, when I looked at Volkswagen's webpage, which I don't,

I don't look at modern Volkswagen. I got, I called up the page and

thumbing through everything. I'm like, this is, this is shit. This is all complete,

bland, bullshit. And so my, my final asterisk though was bring back the VR6.

Oh, okay. Bring back something fun like that. Because the last time they used it was like in an

Atlas in 2023. Sure. I looked it up and I'm like, what a way to go out for an absolutely

icon of an engine. So bring that back. That was, I don't know, man, they had such unique engines.

They had such unique looking cars and now it's just checking boxes. Sure. So I like that thought.

I might, I might chew on that a little bit because I hadn't specifically thought about the

VR6, but I think there is a compelling way to do it and have it actually functioned like,

you know, not just like dust off the old 12 valve VR6. No, re-engineer it, keep it, keep the form

factor, keep the efficiency, make it, obviously it'll be more powerful, very, and I always thought

it was cool because there were so many generations and different displacements of VR6 motors.

They were all, they were all kind of special. So that's all I got, man. Like

honestly, like they, they need to do something, you know, at this point, but

I laid it out Volkswagen, laid it out for you. All right. Are you listening, Volkswagen? So,

you know, it's interesting because I think we, we kind of made a lot of the same moves,

but maybe like we got there from different viewpoints and perspectives.

And because, yeah, so part of, again, part of me thinking about this and what led me to

think about this as a topic where it was kicked it off was the failing of the ID buzz

because I'm willing to bet for the extreme majority of, of people that would,

would consider an ID buzz. The reason they didn't buy it was not because of

the styling, right? Everyone loves the way that thing looks or cool. You know, maybe for some

people it's like, oh, it's a little too like attention grabbing. So I'm going to get a Sienna

instead, which is the problem with that is like any van buyer isn't usually the most like

attention seeking bunch. Right. And so I think that's part of the problem with that

van. But I think the reason ultimately it's taking a one year hiatus is because anyone

who is looking to get a minivan, you know, no matter how cool it might be,

realistically, they're not going over 200 miles in a day. But in their mind, they

absolutely might have a chance to take their kids, little Johnny to soccer practice and little

Susie to underwater basket weaving Academy and back and forth and all around town and

a range under 300 miles is an utter non starter, even though they would probably be fine.

And so I think the fact that that thing does not have at least 325 miles of range

is the number one and it's not close reason why that is not selling and has to disappear from

the marketplace for a while. So that led me to two different things. First off, I think I actually

like the ID buzz. I think it's a compelling. It should be a compelling product if it wasn't a

range fuck up. So step one, fix that, right? Just take have a take a year off. Have it come back

in 2027 with 300 and something miles of range. Like otherwise, don't even bring it back. What's

the point? You're just going to bring it back to not just continue to not sell them.

Lose this number, Volkswagen. So it's got to come back with at least another 100

another 100 miles of range. Fair. To be clear, I don't actually think the buyers of those cars

have to have that range, but they think they have to have that range and therefore it's not

selling. But why I think that is a compelling and good thing. It's actually an interesting

and compelling product that is like a little bit of like a counterculture type of product compared

to the rest of the market. And that is what Volkswagen does best. That's what the Beetle and

the Squareback and the original transporter and even to a lesser extent, like the original

like A1 chassis, Volkswagen Rabbit and Caddy and Fastback and all of that shit.

It was like a very different offering. It stood apart from everything else in the market

and current Volkswagen outside of the ID buzz. And you could argue the GTI and Golf R did

with a certain extent, although those aren't super flashy and like overly styled and counter

culturally, they're very competent, but there's just not a lot of hot hatches. So I guess I'll

give it to them. The rest of their lineup is like the definition of milk toast,

which Volkswagen can never compete in. If you want something that's milk toast,

you're buying a Toyota, you're buying a Honda, right? It's gonna be more reliable.

It's gonna maintain its value. And the inshidification of something like that $25,000 Jetta I was

talking about, they're not nicer. They're not built as well as the comparable Toyota or

or even Nissan to a certain extent. Great helmet song, by the way, milk toast,

great underappreciated song by helmet. I'm not aware of helmet. I gotta give them a listen.

Oh, good Lord. You should know this, man. Yeah, but that price point today is pretty

impressive, right? Like $25,000. I'm actually quite shocked that it's not $30,000.

But I'm buying a Corolla or Civic. Every time. Yeah, no Brainer, right?

Right. If for no other reason than the resale value alone.

So they have, that's what they have to go back to doing is being like

being the risk taker and more the counterculture point, because I don't want to just recycle

my point that I made with Nissan because they have to take risks because they have no other choice.

Volkswagen needs to be, you know, think different. They need to be the counterculture thing.

And so how to lead this is, you know, again, I think we're gonna end up trotting over some

of the same points, but a little different. I think the ID buzz comes back after a year

with another hundred miles of range. Great. I'm not abandoning the EV, all the money and

developmental costs and everything that went into this EV stuff.

So I'm not completely scrapping the idea of a Volkswagen EVs.

That said, the ID for is trash and needs to go away. It's not competitive, either vastly over

rework that whole thing and give a little bit of an edge in some form.

But I and I'll and rename it because the name ID for it, I don't care. Like it's just not a

an interesting name. It's not an interesting car. If you want to, if you want to nuke it

from orbit and then reshape something out of its ashes and so be it.

But I don't want to burn mental capacity on that.

The ID five rises.

We don't deserve this.

Yeah. Like Windows 3.1.

Hey, am I still here?

You are. You are staring.

I'm frozen on my screens.

You're absolutely frozen.

Fantastic. Okay.

Tune in next week when Frank pays his internet bill.

Exactly. Well, we'll just let it ride as long as you can hear me.

And then maybe I'll like snap into reanimation.

Yeah. Don't take your pants off like last time.

You get lulled into a false sense of security.

Exactly. And I'm just like nude hand standing.

I do not advocate nude handstands.

I do advocate that Volkswagen does bring back the Beetle.

And the Volkswagen Beetle comes back.

Hear me out.

Okay.

As an EV.

Yeah. We got to go. Bye.

So no. Okay. So here's the thing.

The original...

I don't like frozen Frank in his attitude towards EVs.

It's going to go.

Here's the thing.

It's going to be what there isn't in the market,

which is an actual good $30,000 or less EV product.

The original Volkswagen Beetle was largely a city car, suburban car

that was as bare bones as can be.

Was cheap to run in all capacities.

In exp...

It was the people's car, right?

And you can have a people's EV.

No one has bothered to even try.

There's like the slate truck thing,

but that's such a limited use case.

It doesn't come with the infotainment or anything,

which I'm okay with.

And I think the Beetle could be that.

I think if you had this stupid ass 200 mile range in the ID buzz,

it doesn't belong in that product.

It doesn't belong in the haul all the kids all around all the town.

It belongs in the basic inexpensive cheap and easy to run

simple bare bones city car.

That's where that mile range.

So if you have, and you know, there's a bunch of people,

like a friend of the pod art of Radwood fame.

He, in DWA fame, he has an e-golf.

I know many people that have had or have e-golfs.

And they like them.

They're great.

Like that's that similar level of power, rear drive.

You have a frunk.

Like it needs to be like the Beetle.

Like I want it to be, I want it to be retro styled.

And I want it to be basic, bright colors, steel,

at least steel look wheels of the actual steel wheels

with a polished cap have bring the face back.

I mean, and I want like base model $25,000 hand crank windows.

Like I want it to really harken back and be the people's EV.

Because there isn't one.

The closest thing to model three.

And that's not approachable if you just want a basic car.

Although there's political implications with buying a model three,

which is ironic that I'm saying that the Nazi people's car

should be the antithesis to that.

But I think there's really a niche there.

A small, barely usable backseat.

You know, have it be the recipe of the original Beetle,

where it's different than anything else in the market.

It's cheap.

I think there's an opportunity there.

And just like I think it will add huge cash aid to the brand.

Do you hate it?

What's your thought on the Beetle, EV Beetle?

Because I suspect that you would hate it.

That was my thought.

But I think it won't work.

I mean, I think it's got a shot.

I think it could.

I like the idea.

I mean, electrification for the masses just wasn't thought out.

But I like the idea of it being cheap.

I like the bright color aspect of it.

Rear engine would be super cool.

Like just the fun of having a Franck.

I think that could be done.

The Golf is fun.

I was an early adopter of cheap electric cars.

I bought a 2014 Focus Electric when those came out.

Because there were so many rebates it was stupid not to.

And I rocked one of those for a while.

That was a pretty cool little car.

It was probably on par with the E-Golf for range

and that kind of use case.

And those are cool.

Definitely like a city town car.

You couldn't take it on a long road trip.

Back then it was like a, I want to say an 80 mile range tops.

That's about right.

They all were right.

Like the 500 E-Fiat was like a 40.

And then the Leaf eventually got that.

The Leaf was like 10, 72.

Yeah.

And then you put 10,000 miles on it

and the battery stewed in its own juices

and they got no range.

I think the E-Golf was like 112.

No, not at first.

I think they were all the same.

They were all benchmarked together.

I think they were all around that 80, 84, 77, whatever.

But if you could be 180, 200.

Yeah.

You know, just simple, like just single motor, rear drive, basic,

but like cutesy and like bolted together reasonably.

I think it could be a compelling.

Pretty cool.

And it's just like a great advertisement for Volkswagen.

Because right now, like I don't know anyone that like isn't a car person

and just sees like the silhouette of a modern Volkswagen goes,

Oh yeah, that's definitely a Volkswagen.

Absolutely.

Volkswagen in the 60s, the 70s, even the 80s and 90s and early 2000s.

Like you see the silhouette, you see a Volkswagen and you knew what it was.

And those days are dead.

I do want to.

I actually had the exact same thought as you on the Jetta.

I want it to be early 2000s, Neo Retro.

God, it was so good.

Because that would that would be new, right?

I think it's silly that like you have manufacturers like

Hyundai is like taking the biggest styling chances with like stuff like this.

The Santa Fe and the Santa Cruz and the the new,

yeah, the new Santa Fe's got like the dog bone tail lights and like

some of this like the Elantra is like kind of wildly styled.

Like I don't that would used to be that used to be Volkswagen's thing.

Maybe not wild, but either handsome or like at least daring.

Yeah.

The only addition to the Jetta that I want to see in addition to just like simply being

restyled into something, you know, Neo Retro.

I want a Caddy.

I want them to bring back a Volkswagen Caddy.

I want it.

I want a 2C Ute based on the Jetta, right?

It doesn't have to, it doesn't have to tow.

It doesn't have to haul 2000 pounds.

So similar to like a Santa Cruz effectively, right?

Smaller.

Much smaller.

I wanted to occupy no more than 6 inches longer than.

Oh, yes.

Also occupy my Wall Street.

Boy, a lot of good that did.

And show them.

Yeah, exactly.

Hold on.

Let me go pay my mortgage.

But no, the, yeah.

I just have like a Ute because there's no real compact trucks.

They're long dead.

We've bitched about that for a long time.

I think there's a space in the market because even something like the Santa Cruz

is that that's completely unusable.

And I know, I know, you know, trying to sell a 2-seater is tough,

but it could be, I think it could be cool in addition to practical, right?

Just more bed than passenger compartment.

And that would probably fail, but I would like to see it fail.

I do think you keep the Tiguan, you restyle it.

You have to get rid of the freaking Tiguan name.

Nobody likes to Tiger Iguana.

It does nothing for anybody.

I don't know if there's anything, I don't know.

Call it the Quantum.

Nobody remembers the Quantum.

It's an okay name.

I don't know.

Just don't call it to anything other than the Tiger Iguana.

It would be wonderful.

And then, yeah, restyle, restyle the Atlas.

I think you have to have it there.

It needs to be more daring.

It needs to be, I don't know if, I don't know if you make it more rugged or not.

I think you bring back the Toreg name, although I don't hate the Atlas name.

And Toreg is shitty to pronounce and spell.

So maybe you just keep it the Atlas, but butch it up a little bit, right?

Boy, I do think you keep the GTI and the R.

I like your thought on the rabbit.

But I have to imagine there's a reason why they pulled the standard base golf out of the market.

Maybe you do a little retro style on that, right?

Like you take you take some play from the styling cues of the doesn't exist yet.

Rivian R3, which is more of the kind of boxy little bit of ground clearance upright.

You don't have to have the ground clearance,

but a little of that Delta Integraulae Mark I style could be fun.

The only other, I also like your concept of bringing the VR6 back.

I hadn't really thought about that, but I can see that coming back.

If you wanted to make a bit of a, I'm trying to think you'd have,

it would have to be high style, like a high style sports coupe.

So fill the void where the two-door GTI used to be

and have it be more competitive with something like the GT86 or whatever we're calling it nowadays.

GR and the, you know, which I understand is a, it's not a really, it's not a money maker,

but again, I've let, you've let the renamed Tiger and the Atlas be your money makers

and you've got to get a little bit more pizzazz in the brand.

I would bring back the Corrado with a 90s retro coupe styling,

you know, probably fills about the same size as a GTI, but with two doors and swoopier

and, you know, much like the Corrado was swoopier than a two-door GTI was at the time.

And yeah, just a modern VR6, not big power, you know, call it whatever, 300 horsepower.

I think that could be a good time. Let it be front wheel drive, that's fine.

Sure.

Give it a man well. And yeah, I think that could be really a good time.

But that's, that's it. They need to be the counterculture

offering that they once were, because that was the only time they've ever been relevant.

Anytime they've always tried to slink into the mainstream, it just failed miserably.

Yeah, we took different paths. We arrived at almost the same clearing though, you know.

So yeah, Volkswagen needs to find they're weird again, man, stand out because they

do not do that now. And financially, they're not super viable. And I don't know anyone that's like

hardcore modern Vdub, right? Yeah, it doesn't have the fan base used to have. So it's interesting.

And if they are, it's just like for the Golf R. Yeah, fair. Or maybe GTI. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's not for the brand. It's like in spite of the brand almost.

Bro, whatever dude, ID4 clan is coming to town. No one cares about that fucking thing.

No one cares. Not at all. Very good. Well, how should we proceed?

Well, first, we'll say you're welcome to Volkswagen. Feel free to use as much of that

as you'd like. Maybe we should do a little automotive print ad quiz game show.

Oh boy. Okay, I wish you could see my visible excitement on my face, but I'm frozen in

carbon. Yeah, I'm talking to the the image of Frank like it's like a memory.

It could have been a worse freeze frame, honestly. It's not horrible. Disasterously

unflattering. Although I'm working with it right now. The gray coming out of my coming

out of my beard. Okay. Anyway, so how about this? You tell the good people at home what

we're doing. Oh, also, by the way, do you have a new game behind you? I didn't. Oh,

yeah, we didn't touch on it. Dreamcast classic, if you will. This is the original.

Crazy taxi. Such a fun game. Absolute icon of the Sega Dreamcast stage.

Sega Dreamcast launched on 9, 999. What an under celebrated system, but that's a super fun game

if you've never played it. Super arcadey, super fun. But yeah, retro car game. Good call out,

man. Good call out. All right. So you want to tell the good people what the hell we're

up to? While I read this here, Ed. This segment, also not sponsored, is our automotive print head

quiz game show where we go through a periodical, usually a magazine from the 80s, 90s, mid 2000s.

We're going to read that article. Frank's going to try to read today. I have to guess what vehicle

he's describing. He's going to omit anything that obviously gives it away. I have three

guesses to figure out what kind of car he's yammering on about. If I fail, I do have

lifelines. I can ask for help. 10 minutes will be on the clock to prevent me from going

for like 30 minutes, which I think some of our historic episodes might have done that.

But dude, I think I'm ready, Frank. Go ahead and unleash the beast. Okay. So this is a single

page ad. There's two images of the vehicle. The first one is like the front quarter image.

However, the vehicle's in motion and we're floating like kind of above it a little bit.

I'm modeling with my hands, but you can't see. Can't see shit. Yeah. And so it's like,

you know, it's driving. It's like a rolling image. And then below, we've got like an image of the

vehicle kind of still and looking like through the driver's window, almost like a very tall

police officer walking up on the vehicle. And then it says, recharged for blank and blank being the

model year of the vehicle. Okay. If that says the new blank, get ready for the ultimate driving

experience. The blank charge with more performance than ever before. Beneath the hood beats a new,

even more responsive 2.8 liter, six cylinder single overhead cam engine with EFI parentheses,

electronic fuel injection, made it to this impressive power plant is an incredibly crisp,

precise five speed manual overdrive transmission. Or you could order blanks innovative four speed

automatic overdrive unit. And for sure stops power assisted four wheel disc brakes are standard.

Naturally, a sports machine of this caliber should accommodate true driving enthusiasts.

That's why the blank offers an optional sports performance package, sport suspension,

sheer footed 195 sorry 195 70 SR 14 steel belted radial tires, front air dam, rear air foil.

This package virtually glues blank to the road. Inside blanks around you with an

an infinite array of exceptional luxury appointments, electronic AM FM MPX stereo radio,

power steering, tilt wheel, air conditioning and more. The blank recharged for blank

luxury never performed like this before. Feel it. That's the ad my friend recharged.

Um, the ultimate driving machine, huh? That's what they say. Sorry. No, sorry. No,

that's not what they say. It says get ready for the ultimate driving experience. Ah, okay.

I immediately went to BMW land. That is that is flirting with a tagline that's been around

for quite a while. Didn't read like it backs me up for that not reading it all like a BMW ad.

Um, so what do we have? Let's go over the facts, shall we? Sure. Just just the facts.

2.8. I don't think it said Cooper sedan. I don't think I got a door count on that one.

It did not mention doors.

Luxury sports, a sports machine is what it calls itself weird.

Um, so 2.8. 2.8 single overhead cam injected. Electronic injection. EFI. Yeah.

Big deal. That's a big deal. That is a big deal. Some old guys will say that's a shitty deal,

but they'd be right. We know it's up. They would be, they'd be wrong. I mean,

carbs, carbs can be fun, but it's better than be fucking super fun. Way better than

early shit like TBI and stuff. That's for sure. Just kidding. I love my TBI cars.

Don't fuck me up, Blazer. And Tracker. God, they're both TBI. Shit. What do we got, man? 2.8.

I don't think it said what wheels were driven. No. Fuck, Frank. Do I have to?

Somebody should. Somebody should, I suppose. 2.8. Don't know what wheels are driven.

Don't know what door count. It mentioned MTX audio. Picked up on that. Don't know why.

There's not a lot of meat on this bone to chew, my friend. There really isn't.

I don't, dude, I don't even know where to go with this. 2.8. It's, it doesn't,

it doesn't sound like a GM. I don't think it's a Passat like you're selling right now.

I mean, it could be. Could it be?

EFI. They didn't even give the specific EFI name.

I mean, would they be, would they be calling out, calling out EFI in the early 2000s?

Daywood would. Fair. Let's go, what had a 2.8? Audi had a 2.8 for the longest time in the 90s,

but they would be definitely there. God, they dropped Quattro in there somewhere.

Other 2.8s. GM, but this does not sound like a GM ad, dude.

Hmm. Let's go. Let's go. Let's fuck it. Chevy Beretta. 1990, you fucking five.

Finally, it's here. Oh boy. This is not a 1990 anything Chevy Beretta. Perfect.

Am I in the right country? You are not in the right country of origin, my friend.

God damn it. All right. Yes. Let's get this, let's get this moveable feast under what?

Beats a new, even more responsive 2.8 liter,

six cylinder, single overhead cam engine with electronic fuel injection.

What the fuck was wrong with the other 2.8 to make this one so exciting?

Okay.

I got nothing still, man. I'll be brutally honest with you.

2.8, EFI were probably early 90s, late 80s, depending on what it is.

Under the hood beats, and it's a fresh 2.8. God, don't get mixed up with that old one.

Five-speed manual, possible four-speed auto overdrive.

See, five-speed manual makes me think it's more late 80s.

Four-wheel disc brakes, as standard. That's pretty cool.

Steel-belted radial tires on 14-inch wheels. That's definitely mid-80s.

And that comes with the, it definitely comes with the sports suspension pack,

or the sports performance package. Dude, I don't...

Not, it's not a domestic, so it's not an American automaker.

2.8, steel-belted. God, it doesn't sound, and I can't think of anything.

2.8, luxury never performed like this before. Feel it.

And luxury never means luxury in these things.

God, dude, I don't...

Would it do anything for you if I said the car was two-tone in the image?

It does not.

Well, it's almost tri-tone, but like two of the tones are the same color,

so it's just two-tone, I suppose.

And it doesn't say anything about the...

Like the drive wheels would help? Maybe door count?

Or maybe this is way easier than I'm making it, but I don't think it is.

Does it say either of those?

Yeah. I just can't think of...

It could be a lot of things, right? Like, I kind of...

It's a V6, though. It did say V6.

Oh. Beneath the hood beats a new, even more responsive 2.8-liter,

six-cylinder, single overhead cam engine with EFI.

Have we done this car?

Is this a...

I didn't see it on the list. That's what I can say.

Nissan 280ZX, final answer?

It is not a Nissan 280Z.

It's not a Nissan 280ZX.

You are in the right country of origin.

I'm going to need a little more in that, Doc.

I would say it certainly considered itself a competitor to the 280ZX.

Whether it was or wasn't, whether it pulled that off successfully or not,

is a matter for probably period reviews.

Feel it.

I know. So I don't think it's a Nissan, because he's just said,

potentially a competitor to the 280Z.

So...

Yeah. They rarely try and compete with themselves. I mean, it happens.

I just...

So multiple colors, and that's why I went with 280,

because they did have an interesting color palette.

I'll tell you. So the vehicle in the ad

is a silver and black two-tone with a maroon interior.

That sounds just like 1985 Japan to me.

I'll be brutally honest with you.

I don't even know.

I mean, it could... No, it wouldn't be that.

Super compelling audio experience.

Yeah, this is rough, dude.

And they're listening to this shit while they're driving to their house.

Our next quiz game will be, we just name engine displacements,

and you have to think of the car.

Hey, you got more than that on this.

You got a five-speed, you got four-wheel disc brakes,

you got the performance package.

You got a rear-air foil, a front-air dam,

virtually glues blank to the road, ground to the ground, if you will.

Is this...

Is it?

I don't... Dude, I don't know anything anymore.

A 2-8.

Could be a competitor to a 280ZX. That's tripping me up.

This could be Toyota had a couple of 2-8s.

Sure.

And that would make sense with inline, but now...

I... It can't be a Supra. We've done those a million times, Celica Supras.

I wouldn't say a Cressida as a competitor.

I don't know if the 2-8 was in the Cressida.

I think it was, actually.

I will say this particular car is a one-year-only offering for this motor.

Really?

A prior year... The prior years were a 2-6.

For this one year, it got the 2-8.

And then for the following year after, it was a new generation.

They went up to, like, what, three-liter or...

It maintained a 2-8, but it was a different motor.

Okay.

It made it sound in this...

An entirely different motor.

An entire 2-8 got better.

It did... Well, compared to the 2-6.

Mmm. God, now I even want to say...

It gained a whole... I think it gained a whole...

If I remember correctly, I think it gained, like, a whole, like,

four horsepower or something from the 2-6 to the 2-8.

So they're very much hyping up this refresh, which didn't really do all that.

But it's a one-year-only...

I just don't know.

I'm not thinking Honda. I think it's got...

Honda really didn't have any rear-drive sports cars that compete with, like, a 2-8 ECX.

I will give you that. It is rear-drive.

It is, yes. So that's Honda's out. Acura doesn't exist.

God! It can't...

Could it be? Could it be a...

Could it be a Toyota Supra?

You got a year?

For me?

84.

Final answer.

You are painfully close.

This is...

Well, let me get the exact verbiage from the ad here.

How have we not done this car?

Well, here's the thing. We have indeed already done...

A few Supras.

A 1984 Toyota Supra.

We have not done this, which is recharged for 81.

Get ready for the ultimate driving experience.

The 1981 Toyota Celica Supra.

Celica Supra.

Recharged with more performance than ever before.

So this is the Mark I.

I even said Celica Supra.

Yeah, okay. I thought we... I swear to God we had done this already.

We did the Mark II.

I thought we did as well, but I went through the list and it is not on there.

The Mark II is.

But the Mark I is not there.

So 79 and 80 had the 4M-E, which was a 2.6 inline 6.

Then 81 only got the 5M-E, which bumped it to a 2.8.

And then the Gen II, which is the one I've had a bunch of.

2.8s.

The Mark II, I should say.

Yeah, had the 2.8, but it's dual overhead cam.

That was a 5M-GE mode.

I completely put Supras out of my mind at the beginning of that because...

And I do that often when I think we've rolled down a car.

I already like ruled it out.

Oh, I do that too.

Yeah, dude, what a vicious cycle.

I just sent you the ad.

We kind of got there, right?

We got the right vehicle.

I owned an exact clone of this one in the ad.

It was an 81 performance package car.

Oh, this is a cool ad.

That is a cool ad.

Oh, dude.

Yeah, dude.

And I kept saying the feel it part because that's a bite into their own tagline of like,

oh, what a feeling from the early 80s and late 70s.

Hey, 280zx wasn't a horrible.

No, I mean, that's like the natural...

And that was the competitor to this,

but it was honestly a much more competent car than these Mark 1 Supras.

And I've owned two of them.

They're kind of garbage, even like the one I had,

like the performance package with the 5-speed and all the bells and whistles,

the best one you can get.

Maybe the most understeer car I've ever driven outside of a school bus

and I've never driven a school bus.

But pretty dope for 81, a 5-speed manual and a single overhead cam engine.

That's pretty cool.

Yeah, four-wheel discs.

Actually, yeah.

Yeah, no, EFI.

I mean, they're cool.

I want another one for sure.

I'd love another Mark 1.

They're not a good car.

They're a bad car.

Makes sense.

But yeah, that's why I want one.

So yes, this is the 1981 Toyota Celica Supra.

Very nice.

Mark 1.

How do we not celebrate, my friend?

PCP, as always.

Project car progress.

Have you been imbibing in the PCP, my friend?

A little bit.

God, okay.

So operation-free, almost free.

There's nothing free in life.

But the nearly free trim spitfire.

Mm-hmm.

Its auction went and it has ended.

And we missed, we would have had a better update last week,

but I was in car week and you had turbo-chlamydia.

So we unfortunately skipped that week.

But we had the auction ended.

Did you happen to see what the auction ended at?

I did not see.

I have been not just the committee keeping me down.

I've been extremely busy.

But did it do well?

It did better than I thought.

So here's the deal.

For the uninitiated 1977 Triumph Spitfire,

that friend of the pod, Mr. Robert Epley, gave it to me

because he didn't want it.

And so I said, okay, let's get it smogged.

Let's get it a title.

We're going to run it in a reserve

and it's going to do what it's going to do.

I thought all of the money in the world on it was $3,500.

It sold for $4,300.

Not bad.

Great. It fought me all the way to the end.

So the ignition switch got extra wonky on it

and it just got a huge dead spot in it.

So it's hard to start, especially when it's cold

because it's carburated.

And then with like three hours left in the auction,

it decided it didn't want to maintain idle

without the choke at least halfway on.

Oh no.

So I did like emergency diagnosis

and I found that there is an EGR

there's an EGR tube that goes between the EGR valve

and the intake manifold and it's got a U-bend in it.

But it's not like a metal pipe.

It's like a flex section, but it's not flex pipe,

like metal flex piping.

It's shitty 70s just rubber and then wrapped in like heat wrap.

Oh boy.

And that's how it is from the factory.

It's like a woven heat wrap on top of a rubber

because that was their solution back in the 70s.

And so I because I was running because it kind of just wouldn't,

unless I gave it like half throttle or not throttle choke,

it wouldn't want to maintain idle.

So I have to have choke on halfway,

but then it brings the idle and now I'm idling at like 1500 RPM,

which is like not where you want to idle.

Yeah.

But anything under that it'd be choppy and shitty.

So it'd get more fuel with the choke,

but it'd bring the idle up.

I was like, all right,

this feels like a fucking vacuum leak.

Because when I had the choke there,

if I punch it, it would like it didn't,

it wasn't falling on its face like it's cold.

I had put a thermostat in it that morning

because I thought it was just like,

it wasn't getting the operating temp.

So I pulled the old thermostat.

I had a 160 degree thermostat in it for God knows why.

It's supposed to be 195.

So I spent the $8 put at 195.

There's some overheating problems you're going to find out pretty soon.

Well, no, it goes right to,

now it just warms up a couple of minutes.

It's right at operating temp.

Everything's great, but it won't fucking maintain idle.

So I'm searching for vacuum leaks

and I hit that wrap with carb cleaner

and the idle flare's up.

I was like, you motherfucker,

the rubber under that,

which you can't see because of the wrapping,

it's like deteriorated.

And so it's sucking unmetered air,

which is why you got to have the choke on

to fatten up the mix

to compensate for all this unmetered air it's pulling in.

Yep, yep.

So I just, I shoot a video of it.

I upload it and I add it to my

auction with like 40 minutes left.

I'm like, hey guys, like this is what's up.

Like you can drive it like this,

certainly get it on or off a transport truck.

It's a simple fix.

I can't fix it in 40 minutes.

Like it's just not going to happen.

So please bid accordingly.

And it still went for $4,300.

So it's going out to New York.

The guys started the process,

but it's still here.

So I'm not completely counting my eggs,

completely hatched until it rolls off on a truck

and I can kind of wash my hands of it.

But yeah, good result for a charming,

but not good car in the shitfire.

I mean, it's a tinkerer project.

Like it's got good bones, as I say.

It's not rotted out to California things.

Someone's going to have fun with it,

but they're just dreadful machines.

Yeah, agreed.

Nice dude.

You wrench on anything?

So a little bit.

The Geotracker instrument cluster drama continues.

So I remember last time I was talking,

probably a little while ago,

I was talking about how I bought a cluster

and someone intentionally hid,

like taking out all the speedometer

and odometer components.

Tight.

That was a real nice thing to do, right?

So what was cool, though,

is I got a full refund through eBay.

The guy actually gave me the full refund

for that huge cluster,

which never happens.

Did you mail it back,

or did he just like fucking keep it?

He's like just fucking keep it,

because I always send pictures.

Like a picture tells a story, right?

Yeah.

So I'm like,

hey, under this tape in the back,

all the gears are missing

for the odometer cluster.

He's like, oh, shit, I'm sorry.

And I'm like, yeah, okay.

So the thing is,

like now I'm high and dry

because you can't find these things, right?

Sure.

So, dude, I sourced one.

One popped up 85,000 miles on it,

so low mileage, which is killer.

I'm like, God, must buy now.

So I purchased the thing.

It looks okay.

It says it works and everything.

Get it to the house.

Dude, the way they transported this thing,

they wrapped like two newspapers around it

and threw it in a big oversized box.

Sick.

And this is an instrument cluster.

So the plastic got split right down the middle

on the front, like the clear part.

I'm like, son of a bitch, guys, come the fuck on.

So luckily I have the other cluster

that was actually super clean, right?

So, but you know how that job goes,

trying to separate that clear,

like gauge cluster face.

Yeah.

It's like playing operation,

just trying to not damage things.

Yeah.

With like GM plastic from the 80s and 90s,

not the best time of my life,

but I was able to get it.

And dude, every one of those tabs feels like

it's not just releasing, it's like breaking.

You're like, snap, snap.

And you're going around, you're like,

fuck me, fuck me.

And like the thing is, if it breaks,

it ruins out.

Like I said, the cluster is super sensitive

underneath it, like ruins the whole gauge face.

Game over.

Anyway, I switched that over,

get it in the truck.

Success.

I had to replace almost all the bulbs too,

which is another thing.

But got it in there.

I've done like three trips with it so far,

and it hasn't eaten a speedometer cable.

Nice.

And it's not just making screaming,

novel squelching noises.

No undead banshee noises.

It reads accurately.

The speedometer is smooth.

It's not jumpy.

Fucking thank God, dude.

But when I opened that box,

first I picked up the box and I hear

pieces moving inside.

I'm like, God, damn it.

There are two newspapers.

I'm not even joking.

Painters tape and two newspapers wrapped around

an instrument cluster and an oversized box.

Yeah, dude, good effort, bro.

Yeah, that's it.

Let's shut this shit down.

Yeah, let's do it.

I've been frozen for way too long.

How sweet would it be if I was just

pretending this whole time

and somehow I was like bent for a twisting

and like doing the perfect frozen?

You haven't even had a blink.

He's a fucking machine.

Exactly.

Yeah, true story.

One of my friends right out of high school

got offered to workforfuckingmachines.com.

And instead he decided to go to college.

So they were like going to give like $80,000 a year,

which in like 2002, like a fucking like 18 year old,

like 19 year old was like, dude,

how can we not workingforfuckingmachines.com?

He's like, man, I don't because I don't want to like,

I don't know, forever work at.

I don't want to forgo going to college

to work at fuckingmachines.com as a photographer.

Dude, I would do that just for the resume bump,

you know, getting the right fucking machines

on your resume.

Yeah.

Like you've got like your regular CV

and then you've got like your CVXXX

for like, you have that aside for all of your,

God damn it.

Anyways, goodbye.

Let me shut it down.

God damn it.

Yeah, tell the good people what the hell

trying to get out of here.

Oh, should we plug her shit?

Yeah, we'll plug it.

We'll plug it.

We'll do it.

Guys, thanks for joining us again,

APA podcast, another pointless automotive podcast.

Continue listening to us.

Review the show if you haven't yet.

That helps us a lot.

We are on YouTube every single episode.

Get on there, subscribe, write some silly comments,

watch Frank be frozen for half an episode

or more or more actually.

We also have a Patreon now.

I think we can reveal those details.

It's APA pod is where you can find us on the Patreon.

No pressure at all guys.

If you want to shovel a little bit

of pocket change our way, we would love that.

We love you anyway.

So it doesn't really fucking matter.

Frank, well, I'll do mine first.

Auto obscure garage, all your rescues,

restorations and reviews that you want to see,

Volvo content, tracker content,

Volvo review coming up on this very cool V50

that's running right now.

So excited to see that.

Frank, work in the folks,

tune into your world-class photography efforts.

Yeah.

So I'm the photographer's garage

on any place that you care to visit.

And otherwise find me here.

And yeah, keep on listening, spread the word.

If you want to buy us literal beer money,

we would appreciate it.

So head over to patreon.com slash APA pod

and you'll be rewarded with more of this nonsense.

If you sign up because you get to see and view

and participate in our APA pod

late night confidential episodes.

So yeah, on those videos, Frank is slightly more animated.

It's interesting.

Yeah, well that and it also happens when you drink really,

really bad alcohol.

I cannot wait for the next mess that we're going to get into

and what terrible experience we're going to have

while drinking.

And you can experience that if you go there.

Otherwise, keep finding us here.

We love that too.

And we will see you on the next one.

Take care guys, as always.

We'll see you next time.

Bye.

Episode #209 -Saving Volkswagen

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