Euro NCAP is an organization that tests cars for safety and gives them ratings. The hosts are saying that certain safety features can help a car score better in those tests.
A “wet belt” is a timing belt that sits in oil instead of running dry. Replacing it is a bigger job than many people expect, which is why it can be very expensive.
They talk about using phone/smart-home tools to figure out how long the car was left running. One tool is a doorbell camera, and another is a Peugeot phone app.
This is a Ferrari model called the 360 Spider. It’s special because it’s a mid-engine car (the engine sits behind you) and this one is described as having a manual gearbox with three pedals.
Ferrari sometimes uses special paint names for certain colors. Here, “Tour de France color” means a particular blue shade, and the hosts think it looks especially good on this car.
The cam belt helps keep the engine’s timing correct. Replacing it on schedule is important, and the hosts are using the car’s documented belt changes as evidence of good upkeep.
Term
gated
“Gated” describes a manual gear shifter that feels like it has clear, fixed slots for each gear. It’s about the way the shifter guides you into the right gear.
“Ferrari F1” is a Ferrari system for changing gears using paddles and automation instead of a traditional manual clutch. The hosts are saying it can feel slower to respond than a true manual.
An aluminium space frame is a strong, lightweight skeleton that the car body is built around. The idea is that it makes the car feel more solid and stable when you drive it.
A single-clutch gearbox uses one clutch to engage gears. The hosts are saying that this design can make gear changes feel less quick and more old-fashioned than newer systems.
The gearbox is what changes the car’s gear ratios so the engine can work efficiently. It helps the car accelerate smoothly and drive well in different situations.
Dampers are the shock absorbers that control how the car settles over bumps and during cornering. “Adjustable” means you can tune that behavior to suit track driving.
An LSD is a differential that helps prevent one wheel from spinning uselessly. It improves traction, especially when you’re accelerating out of a turn.
Three-piece wheels are multi-part rims where the outer rim, inner barrel, and center are assembled. They’re popular in motorsport because they can be lighter and can be repaired or reconfigured more easily than one-piece wheels.
Billet aluminum parts are made by cutting them out of a solid chunk of aluminum. This can make them strong and precisely shaped.
Topic
Le Mans classic road trip
This is a reference to the Le Mans racing heritage and the “classic road trip” vibe associated with cars styled for endurance racing. It’s not a technical term, but it frames why the Gulf-inspired livery and track setup matter to the hosts.
An ECU is the car’s engine computer. It controls how the engine runs, and a “different ECU” usually means the engine is tuned differently for that version.
Throttle bodies control how much air gets into the engine. If a car has different throttle bodies, it can change how the engine responds when you press the gas.
“Forged internals” means key inside engine parts are made stronger using a forging process. People bring it up because it can help the engine handle harder driving or higher power.
This is a special edition of the original Land Rover Discovery (the early “Series 1” version). The “50th anniversary” part means it’s a limited, commemorative model people tend to seek out.
The Renault Sport Spider is a sports car with an open-top design. It’s not as common as many mainstream cars, so people may not think about it often. The podcast brings it up because it’s an interesting, memorable model for car fans.
The Alpine A110 is a small sports car designed to feel quick and nimble. The podcast mentions an early version or concept that relates to the A110’s original idea. It’s the kind of car people discuss because it’s built around handling rather than just straight-line speed.
“Air con” (air conditioning) cools and dehumidifies the cabin. Adding air conditioning to a small sports car can be non-trivial because it requires space for the compressor, condenser, and ducting, and it adds electrical and cooling-system load.
The MG MGB is an older sports car made in the UK. It often comes with a soft top, and the podcast talks about how some owners replace parts with non-standard options. When buying one, it’s important to check what’s been changed from the original setup.
Here, “hood” means the removable top/cover on a convertible-style car, not the engine cover. They’re saying the cover looks wrong and the solution is to not use it until it’s fixed.
A convertible top is the part of a convertible that you can open or close like a roof. They’re saying it has to be properly tightened/secured—otherwise it can look saggy and not sit right.
“Roof up” refers to driving with the convertible top raised. The host argues that with the roof up, visibility and the cabin experience are worse—describing it as feeling like a greenhouse with poor sightlines.
The Morgan Super Sport is a Morgan car—made by the British brand Morgan—that’s known for a distinctive, old-school look with modern driving. Here, they’re talking about how great it feels and how much people notice it when you drive it.
The Morgan Plus Four is a classic British sports car. People like it because it feels old-school and fun to drive, not like a modern, computer-controlled car.
The Porsche 911 is a sports car made by Porsche. It’s known for being a premium, high-performance car with a distinctive design. People talk about it because it’s expensive, but sometimes can feel like good value for what you get.
“Hand built” means people assemble more of the car by hand instead of only using robots and conveyor-belt steps. The hosts are saying the Morgan feels special, but it’s not totally like a one-person custom build.
A “production line” is a factory process where parts get added step-by-step in a set order. It usually means faster, more standardized building than hand-making.
The Ford Puma is a small car in the crossover category. The podcast mentions it as an example of a car made in a factory production process. It’s brought up to contrast with cars that are made more individually or in smaller numbers.
On a convertible, the roof motor is what powers the top up and down. If it’s “temperamental,” it can be flaky—sometimes working fine and other times acting up.
“Hammer price” is the final bid amount at auction—the amount the car sells for when the auctioneer’s gavel (“hammer”) falls. It’s different from the buyer’s total cost, which can include buyer’s premium and taxes.
In the podcast, “Seagull” is mentioned like a joke or nickname. The speaker says it looks like a simple drawing, but it’s actually more like a “deep V” shape. It sounds like they’re describing what it is, not naming a common car model.
LIVE
I'm Jonny Smith. I'm Richard Porter. And this is Smith & Sniff, a podcast on which
two friends talk about cars and many other things. David Attenborough. Yes. Doing the
tun. Yes. Yes. We haven't talked about atto. No. Nobody calls him atto. Come on. Nobody
calls him atto. And he is also, I said this on social media last week or sometime, the
he is one of those people whose first name must never be abbreviated. There is no world
where he is Dave Attenborough. No. I'm convinced. Nobody calls him Dave. Atto. It's just not a
thing. Do you know what they do call him apparently within BBC Circles? I don't think, I don't know.
He's sometimes referred to as SDA. So David Attenborough. SDA? SDA, I know. That's like
some sort of safety system that helps with your Euro NCAP score. Yes. Isn't it? Yes. SDA is
standard. Yes, we enjoyed the new. BYD Atto 3, which is the Attenborough 3. Oh, yes.
It is Atto, isn't it? I was going to say, but some car they go, yes, we enjoyed it. The chassis
is good, but the SDA is intrusive. Thankfully, you can turn this off. And I suppose it's either
that or it's like, it's something a lawyer would get you to sign. I'm thinking of an NDA probably,
aren't I? But it's like, could you sign this SDA and then we can release all of the stuff.
Yeah. Okay. Fine. Yes, we're about to complete on your house, but you haven't filled in the SDA.
Oh, sugar. Energy, isn't it? Yeah. I was reading a bit about Atto. I don't want to start calling
him Atto. That's just shit. No, let's not call him that. I started to read a bit about him because
I thought, well, I mean, this is, this is the infectious personality and passion of David Attenborough.
Every time I heard him mentioned because of his 100th birthday, I started to look up various types
of wildlife that I'm interested in. I spent a bit more time outside and I had a really good
weekend gardening. And although I did fall over while streaming, but I'll talk to you about that
shortly. Nothing worse than a streaming stumble. Nothing worse. The throttle wide open.
Oh God, like an episode of casualty. Well, no, because the spinning disc is a long way from you,
isn't it? Well, it is. But if you fall headfirst towards it, then who knows what could happen.
Oh, I'm strapped into my machine. Oh, yeah. Because you're like pro council spec.
Do you fancy popping over to my neck of the woods? Because the path that I walked my daughter down
to school is becoming very overgrown with nettles. And I was like, God, I could get the
strimmer down here, but I only have a mains powered strimmer. I would need a like, you know,
mile long extension cable. You borrow my two straight, Rich, if you like. I mean,
it's had a hiatus of like, say four or five years. And then this weekend I used it, I think
at 90% throttle for two hours, I'm going to say. Oh, yeah, hard. It had a hard awakening.
Speaking of which, how's your, how's your nutribullet after your daughter accidentally
ran it for five minutes? I used it yesterday and I said to her, be honest, do you actually know
how long it was running for? Because she keeps giggling about it. And I said, I need you to be
honest, because these are expensive. And I probably used it three times before she did that.
And she said, hmm, she said it started going. And then I just thought, Oh,
maybe it's going to pop up and cut out when it's finished. So I went upstairs to my room for a
while. And I said, right. She goes, Oh, only about five minutes. I said five minutes. Five
minutes is a really long time for a blender. Goodness me. Is that also not five teenage minutes,
which is 10 minutes? They just measure time in TikToks. Well, I said, did your smoothie not
just turn into sort of whipping foam and just float out of the receptacle when
you open the top? It's just like bubble bath. Yeah. Well, apparently not. Okay. Well, that's good.
We actually had a message from a listener called Alex who said, listening to Johnny's
recent Nutribullet experience reminded me of a time after our son was born when my wife in her
state of postpartum brain fog and lack of sleep accidentally left our 2021 Peugeot 2008 GT Premium
1.2 manual. Excellent specificity, specificity, which he adds is due for a wet belt change at
a cost of £1.15,000. What an unusual way of expressing money. But okay. So that's a very
unusual way of talking about currency. Well, I quite like doing that idiotic thing of
expressing currency when it doesn't need a point. So going, I've just spent a cool
0.800 pounds on these new trousers. You know what, 80 quid, do you mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
But that's just me being a dick. 1.100 pounds. Yes, exactly. A cool 1.200 pounds, 120 quid. Yes.
Anyway, so Alex says, yes, his wife, she left the Peugeot running in our usual street parking
space for six hours and 45 minutes. We worked out the times using the Ring doorbell and the Peugeot
app that you can have on your phone. I took the car for a drive around the block into my
amazement. It was absolutely fine. The temp was rock solid at 90 degrees C. So hopefully Johnny's
Nutribullet is equally and surprisingly unfazed by its long period operation.
It seems to be okay. I can't see, I can't get a boroscope into it and check out its internals,
but I feel like it's okay. I hope it's okay for goodness sake. I still can't believe she left
it. Alex has added a P.S. to his message. He says Peugeot main dealers call the 2008, the 2.008,
which always throws me as I say 2008. Now, I remember when the 1,007 came out, the first of
the double zero in the middle Peugeot's. And we mentioned it on Top Gear and called it the 1.007
and someone from Peugeot, I think, rang us in quite a panic and said, please don't call it that.
That's right. We've already had a stern message from Eon, the producers of the Bond franchise,
saying that if we keep calling it the 1.007, then they're going to get legal on our asses. So it
had to be 1.007. So the dealers, I guess because 008, actually there was a 008 in one of the
Bond films, wasn't there? But anyway, it's officially, according to Peugeot HQ, it should always be
2008, I think, just to avoid any stern letters from Bond people.
I remember that. Well, I remember not being able to call it the 007 whatsoever. But hey,
yes, Attenborough, definitely not Atto. I didn't know this, but I started to delve a bit.
Still can't believe he's working at 100 years old, let alone still like this and very impressive.
But also, I mean, cannot underestimate the influence that that man's had on so many people.
And hopefully his legacy will remain forever, making people realise how important your surroundings
are and maybe not being a dick with nature. But did you know? He's never driven.
He's not. I did not know that. He has never passed. He's not passed his driver's test. He
doesn't have a licence. Oh, he does not have a license. No, I know. I did not know that. Well,
because I put this on on the socials on the day of his birthday, so week last Friday,
that we once contacted him through his agents from Top Gear and said we were making something
about the Land Rover, the original Land Rover. Yeah. And somebody in the office at the bride
here, they went, you know, it's been a lot of Land Rovers exploring the world is David Attenborough.
I bet he's got a thing or two to say about Land Rovers. Yeah. So it's got this message through.
And then the next thing, a handwritten letter arrived at the office. A4 headed with his home
address at the top. And he'd written, it covered two sides of the A4, beautiful handwriting that
said, basically, thank you ever so much for getting in touch. And I'm very flattered that you would
consider me. But I don't really think that I have anything of any use to contribute. So,
you know, I politely declined. But good luck with your land Rover. And it's like,
wonderful and lovely manners. And the researcher who had originally contacted his agent had this
letter pinned above her desk for ages afterwards. And we used to sort of just gaze upon it and go,
look at that, look at what lovely penmanship that is. But I had no idea when he turned it down,
I just thought he's going to go, you know, I was too busy concentrating on the rhinos or whatever.
And I wasn't thinking about the machine that was getting me there. But I had no thought that he'd
never actually have driven one. That's amazing. Attenborough was like, I don't want people to
think or I'm sure people think that I don't drive because it's more environmentally responsible.
But the truth of it is, I hate driving. And I'm not interested in driving. And I feel like I've
never needed a car. And so he's always been a passenger. He's always been driven.
He's lived for many years. I think I'm betraying anything here. Also, I have seen his home address
because it was on the top of his headed note paper. But he lives down in Southwest London,
in Richmond, I think. And so, you know, I guess he's, he's never needed when he's at home,
I guess he's just tubing it, busing it or getting driven, isn't he? So yeah, yeah.
Did you know that David Attenborough has a bit of experience with car security? Rich,
did you know this? No. Yeah. So we've all used alarm systems and mobilizers,
maybe a physical disc lock, which is coming back into, into vogue these days, or the
crook type lock. What about, what about a large lizard?
What? What about that? Yeah. David Attenborough once revealed that he used a large lizard as
a makeshift car alarm during his travels when they were filming. So to stop, to stop the Land Rover
getting robbed of equipment. I don't understand. He caught a large chameleon in Madagascar,
apparently. And I want to find the exact quote, because it's the perfect 60s person quote.
He realized he could use the creature as a security device for his car, which had a missing
window from a previous break-in. So he caught this large chameleon, which he was bringing back
with him to, to bring, to take to the London Zoo. And he kept it all night in the Land Rover.
And apparently it would make a sort of shrieky noise if anyone went near it. So he left it in
the car as a deterrent in the same way that drug gangs in the past have used large owls.
What? I went to an animal refuge once and there was a huge eagle owl, European eagle owl,
I think it's called. Yeah. And I said, what, how do these, how does this animal arrive in your
sanctuary? Because the lady was really interesting and completely dedicated to saving these animals.
And she said, oh, this one, and I've got another one. These were both owned by drug cartels.
You'd, you'd, you'd sit the owl in the stash room, basically on top of the stash.
And because eagle owls have got such huge, dangerous talents, and they can be quite aggressive
in a confined space, no one would dare go in there. A stash owl.
Yes. Yeah. A stash owl. Yeah. You got. Country was this. I don't know what country it was. I was
so astounded when the lady told me, I was like, well, that's just, but no, but hang on. Which
country were you in at the time? Oh, in the UK. In the UK. The owl lives in the UK. Oh my god.
But I don't know if it was imported because you, because you can have a domestic owl,
but I don't, I don't know if it's frowned upon. I'm not sure about the rules of owls.
Of having a pet owl? Yeah. I don't know. But I've still, my mind is boggled that
that a drug gang would, they wouldn't go, I will just put a ring camera up or something.
No. No. So don't trust them. What if the Wi-Fi goes down? Just get an owl.
You're okay. I'll do that. It's perfectly logical. Yeah. Big one. A really large owl.
Yeah. Don't, don't bother locking the door. Just, just tie a wolf to it. Okay. Yeah,
that's a good idea as well. There's a whole menagerie of drugs animals now,
suddenly just, just around the place. Well, look at Attenborough. Who needs,
who needs a Clifford alarm when you've got a large, potentially aggressive chameleon?
Yeah. I saw, I was going to say, because the lizard wouldn't attack anyone. It's just making
the noise that would alert. I think it may, in the same way that the farmers really like geese,
don't they? Yes. Oh God. Because they make such a racket. They do attack, don't they?
Well, they do. They go in for the use, do you call it the Concorde? Were they going with the
head down and the, the kind of plow, snow plow front end? No, because I always think swans
are the Concorde of the bird world. Oh, it's okay. Yeah. Yeah. They are partly because they're white,
but also because they're just very elegant and cool in flight. But I saw a woman patting the
head of a swan in a London park last year. And I was waiting for it to break her arm in the
accepted style. And in fact, it didn't do anything at all. And I was like, hang on a minute. It feels
like maybe swan propaganda has led us to believe that they are vicious arm breakers. But I subsequently
looked this up for something else. And the amount of force that a swan can generate with its wing
is less than the amount of force required to break a healthy human arm bone. So in fact,
swans are full of shit. And they can't break our arms with their wings. They have somehow,
they got some really good PR a few years ago, to sort of spread this lie just to look at the hard
cases of the pond, but they're not. They're not at all. Although I think I said this before,
but I didn't realise until about a couple of months ago, just before my brother's birthday,
that my brother wants to be reincarnated as a swan. And when you know how dry my brother's
personality is and how psychastic he can be, I just simply couldn't take it seriously. He kept
saying to me, no, no, like swans have got it all, all buttoned up. He said, they are an aeroplane
and an incredible boat in one package. Yeah, a pretty shit car though. I mean, they're not.
Well, most amphibious cars are a bit crap, aren't they?
That's true. Yes, of course. Yeah. And most, you know, car planes a bit,
Wang, can't they say? Yes. Because they can get a trot on because they do concord, don't they?
They do that sort of where they'll go head down. Yeah. Or is that just geese?
No, I think they do go head down. I think they're incredibly long neck, which I've actually tried
to imagine what it would be like to have much more of a distance between my throat and the end
of my head. Just so much articulation. I've wondered that in a giraffe context.
Oh, yeah, giraffe. I forgot about giraffes. I just don't know that it would be useful as a human
being. I think you just end up smacking your head on stuff. And you know, sometimes when you just
something gets a bit stuck in your throat, like you try and swallow, I don't know, one of those
really big like cod live royal capsules or something that you're supposed to, they're supposed to be
good for you. And it feels like it gets jammed. The prospect of it getting jammed would be greater
if you have giraffe length. Awful. It's just really unpleasant. You'll be chugging loads of water.
I'm still, I'm now having, my mind is boggled by the stash owl, but I'm also just thinking of a
Greg Smith swan that's just sort of sitting by a lake going, this is shit. Yeah, exactly. That's
the thing. Well, they always come across as being quite contented swans. And I think that's the
other thing that really appeals to Greg. Well, yeah, there's a couple of swans at the end of my
garden. I always think they've got a bit of an attitude. Well, they're, they're, they're, um,
they're a bit haughty. I think they're a bit haughty. That's what it is. It's their haughty.
They've got a bit of attitude on them, but it is haughtiness. I find swans haughty beautiful
creatures. I love seeing a swan, but they're haughty. They're haughty like the lady I encountered
during Cheltenham races week. I found myself at Paddington station in the morning.
And there were lots of people there about to get the train to Cheltenham. An interesting mix of
like Peaky Blinders lads in ill-fitting suits and ruddy faced toffs in strident trousers and
tweed with bottles of champagne under their arms. I went to a coffee shop and I ordered a,
a whiskey. I ordered like a, no, there was, I was so, it was conspicuous. I mean, this was like,
what, nine o'clock in the morning or something. There was conspicuous sort of day drinking or
about to happen, if not already happening. Yeah. But, um, there was a very haughty lady in a coffee
shop and I went in and I ordered a, uh, uh, a Pano raisin. Oh, great. And a coffee. And then I
stepped back in that way that you do something coffee shops for them to go and get the things.
And I turned around so I wasn't facing the counter and the person who's serving me had put my Pano
raisin into a little bag and was holding it up to hand it to me, but I hadn't seen this. And the
haughty lady went, excuse me, your pastry in, and I, I was, I almost laughed at her because it was
like, um, it was like Penelope Keith doing a bit, except it wasn't Penelope Keith. Yeah. It was a
voice a bit wobbly, a bit fluttery. Yes. High register, but also, yes, very, very, very, very
pastry. I know. Yeah. I know. Well, listen, look, um, let's talk cars just for a second, Rich,
if I can. Oh yeah. Yeah. We could come back to the swan chat, but yes, fair enough. Picture the
scenario. You're an extraordinarily wealthy man. You've had some colored drinks in the afternoon,
which have alcohol in. You've, you've opened up your laptop because you want a larger screen
and you've gone into the car and classic.com auction sites to pose and our lovely sponsor
of this channel, car and classic. Um, I have done this. I've dived in because I am going to,
I'm going to buy you a car. Okay. And I've found two cars, which I'd like to buy you this week.
Two. Well, ones, ones, I sort of, I've got a second choice, but I think I know which one I'm going
for, but they're both totally different and yet they're both, um, convertibles are both roadsters.
Ah, because it's the weather's been good and we were continuing that you had the,
you had the SL last week, didn't you? I got you the SL last week. You did. And I feel like you
need something to follow me in my SL as I palm my way through the traffic with a completely unbuttoned
shirt. Um, and this car is not that it is not unbuttoned shirt and it isn't really, neither
of these are palm worthy. So coming in a close second, although some people might say first,
but look, it's my opinion. So there and, um, it's a Ferrari with three pedals.
Oh. Oh, hello. Yeah. It's a, it's a, it's a not red three paddle Ferrari 360 spider with only
20,000 miles on the clock, uh, in this blue Tour de France color. Yes. Which is a fabulous color.
It is. It suits this generation of Ferrari as well. I think this and the 550 and the 456,
those big front engine ones. Uh, so what have we got? 20,000 miles, um, 13 services,
four cam belt changes. The current ownership was about nine years, always been dry stored. Yes.
Gated man. Well, creamer colored leather innards. And I, this is, this is my, my daughter's favorite
Ferrari. Kitty May. She, she loves the Ferrari's. She thinks they look really good. I think she
likes the kind of like slightly nineties look about them. But saying that, I think they've aged
really well. They've aged better than I thought they would in actual fact. Yes, I agree. Um,
this one's up in Newcastle, Pontine, YI, Pat. And I think that we should mosey on up and get this
one because I've got no idea. I actually don't know. I don't know what the value of this car is,
but I do know that most people went for the F1 paddles, didn't they, by this point?
Yeah, it was a sort of growing thing. And well, I should find out how it goes. The auction ends
today, the 18th of May. So, um, hurry up. This evening. So someone could get in there and, and
sniper a bargain or probably not actually, because I reckon this'll, this'll get some attention,
won't it? You reckon? On account of it being the manual and it being a lovely color and spec
generally. A lovely color. I always think with those, you know, with my sort of Evo hat on,
I'd go, oh no, you know, you've got to go coupe. It's the purest choice. Yeah. But this was the
first of the mid-engine drives that went to the, um, that's, um, aluminium space frame,
effectively. It was. And so, yeah, they're much stiffer. So I think that would drive really nicely
still. I think as well. Summer fun. Summer fun. But, but yes, I would have this over the F1 box
because that is still a single clutch in those. And they're, so they're not particularly snappy,
are they? They're sort of, there's that lag they'd feel old fashioned. Now that we've seen what
happened 25 years after this car came out and the trend of paddles and two paddles and I think
that's why these cars will exponentially rise in value because people go, wow, it's like got a
proper gearbox and it's, yes, it's got, it's got a good power and it corners brilliantly. No, it's
not got 800 horsepower like today's Ferrari's, but does one need this? But you know, the thing is,
Rich, we could talk about that for a long time, but I'm not buying it for you.
Oh, okay. Well, I mean, I just, before we move on, I'm just, there's something that's caught my
eye, which is if you look at the vent controls, the heater controls. Yeah. Nice simple rotaries.
I love that. Just, you know, where you are with a rotary dial. It is a fan. It's a simple car.
One. Though that, we forget early 2000s, mid 2000s cars are quite simple because everything's
become so bloody complicated. But if you want even more simple, step this way, sir, a Renault.
What is this? SpaWet. Oh, oh, oh, oh. When was the last time you saw one? Wow. So yeah,
this is one of the, of a hundred right hand drive UK Renault SpaWet, SpaWet is built. So it's,
I mean, you never see them. You never ever see these. You do not. Have you ever driven one?
No, I've never driven one. No, me neither. And I'm a bit frustrated that I haven't,
frankly, but you mostly see them when you do. They're in that yellow color, aren't they? They're
often in yellow. Yes. Yes. But this thing seems to have had this, this has been used. It's had
35,000 miles, which is for a car with no roof of quite a lot, but it's still not that much,
really. It's had a, it's a built engine by Tony Hart, not, not, not the artist and presenter.
It's, it's been rebuilt and maintained by Renault Tuning Specialist Prima Racing. It's
got Penske adjustable dampers. It's got a Prima racing uprated gearbox with an LSD in it. Lovely
image billet aluminium three piece wheels. Image wheels are fantastic. I think they're a British
company image. Really nice. And yeah, paints in the iconic Gulf racing blue with orange livery.
I mean, nothing says Le Mans classic road trip like this, does it? Oh, yes. But, but also track work.
Yeah. Well, I was going to say, it feels like this has been, this has been set up for a bit more
track work, hasn't it, with some of the tweaks have been done to it. But yeah, I've always liked
these. I've always just liked the way they look. Yeah, me too. Me too. I was once coming home
late at night around the North circular sort of in a motorway thing in London, when around Wembley,
for people who know it, one of these, and this is about, I think it was like about 11 o'clock or
even midnight. And one of these came flying down the slip road. So cool. Near that Royal Mail thing
near Wembley. Absolutely fine. There was a speed camera there in those days. And it came,
absolutely, it was a left hand drive on with no windscreen. And the driver was wearing a crash
helmet. Of course. And it flew onto the North circular, went straight through the speed camera,
set it off and then just disappeared into the distance. And I didn't never saw it again. But
I was like, who was that guy? It was so odd to see. That's great. They set it off. I don't think I
even had a chance to clock. I think it was on UK plates, but I'm pretty sure you can just see one
crash helmet on the left, because I think all of the right hand drive cars had the optional wind
screen. Yeah, I didn't know they made about 1800 of them in total. That's less than I thought.
Yeah, not many, is it? No, so it is, it is exclusive. Look, the spec's too big for us to talk
about. It's enormous. It's got a different ECU. It's got different throttle bodies. It's been
gone through. Forged internals. I wish I had forged internals. I haven't. So yeah, there's tons of
other automotive catnip. I was going to get you a Land Rover Discovery Series 1 50th anniversary
edition. What? Yeah, there's one there as well. Yeah, that's got a bit of you on it.
I mean, gosh, I haven't thought about the Sport Spider for a bit, but now I'm going to
end up thinking about it a lot, I suspect, for the rest of the day. You dirty little Sport Spider,
you come over here pretending to be good going around corners, like being all this, being all that.
Your foot works nice. There's a good story about the Sport Spider, which I wrote about for Evo a
while ago, because it was originally meant to be an Alpine. It was going to be like the new,
essentially it was the sort of proto A110. Well, that makes absolute sense if that had an Alpine
badge, but you can see it now. Well, yeah, you know, stripped out lightweight. At the time,
reports complained they weren't as light as they should have been considering there was nothing
going on. You know, it's no, they weren't very well, sort of kitted out deliberately so. But
this is what happened. It was going to be a new Alpine. And then the marketing people were like,
well, it's got to have, you know, got to give it like a windscreen for a star and a roof and
electric windows. And they probably should have air con as well like that. And in the end, you
know, the engineers are like, no, you're missing the point. If you're making us doing that, we're
like, look, why don't we just do it? And we'll put our badge on it. And, and that's what happened.
But I didn't realize it made that few of them. That's that's nuts. That is a properly rare car,
then. Yeah, it's really rare car. And it's, and someone, someone who's owned it has gone through
it. And they say it's the best one in the country. I don't think they use the terminology find another,
but we're, we're, we're there. I think we're fairly there. In a way, one of one as well,
but that's because it's been re sprayed in golf blue. But let's not get bogged down in that.
I've just noticed that it has, it does have a roof, but it has to fit over the over the roll hoop.
And it, it looks as a TV's Jeremy Clarkson once said about a different kind of tramps hat.
Yes. It's like a kit car roof. I can't bear just a roughy or abused MTB roof. Yeah, it's just
yes. An MGB in the 70s where the owner has bought an off brand roof from a small British company
that's just based out of an industrial unit somewhere in Warwickshire and, and
they put it in their Nans oven on very low setting to just warm it up because they wanted
to fit it in winter and it just went wrong. It's all gone very, it's all got very slack.
If you ever taken the cover off a sofa cushion and then tried to put it back on,
and it can go horribly wrong and it all ends up lumpy and the corners are poking out and it just,
it just looks, you know, just, it looks like your sofa's developed a cyst. Yeah.
This, the hood on this looks like that, but that's fine. Just drive it without the hood would be
the way to fix that one. The thing, I was talking to my girlfriend's dad the other day
about catrums because he used to have one and raise it and I said to him, I said,
please tell me that you didn't ever try and put the roof on. And he went, ah, I did that once
and he said, I took about 40 minutes, you know, ends of my fingers with throbbing because she
had to pull so hard to try and get the poppers on. And that's why when you see, and please,
if you do have a catering, never drive it with the roof up. You can't see anything because it
just feels like you're in a greenhouse with completely smashed windows. And the problem is,
is if you don't get it all taught, it does look like, I guess, a scrotum that's just come out of
a hot tub. It's just all a bit slack and, oh, painting pictures with words. That's the thing.
It looks a bit, it looks a bit hot, hot country scrotal. That's, that's, that's what I, I feel
with the, but catrums with the roof off, sublime, sexy. Catrums with the roof on, not sexy.
I am borrowing a catering in the summer. Are you? Because, well, I've mentioned on this show a while
ago that I've never really driven a catering. You, oh no, you never have have you, you swine.
The people who PR, who do PR for catering went, well, you, you should then. Yeah. I was like,
great. And they're not in the winter, obviously. We don't lend cars out in the winter. It's not
that, which is very wise because they're not meant for that. Are they? So, yeah, now the weather's
getting better. They were like, right, we'll, we'll sort you out. So I think, yeah, not till July,
but I'm going to borrow a catering seven and have a go in it. Damn it. You just reminded me,
I need to book in a Morgan. I keep meaning to book in a Morgan and this is Morgan weather,
this is Morgan climate. Yeah. Yeah. Which one? Well, I haven't driven the new, new one, the Super
Sport. Yes, it's good. It's sports. Yeah. And I really like the way it looks. I know some people
aren't totally taken by it, but I think it's exceptional. And I'd like to borrow people not
taken by God. Did I talk about this on the podcast? Because I borrowed one last year,
like last August or September, when it was nice weather. You did the Gareth Jones On Speed. Yes.
20th anniversary show up in North Wales. Yeah. Actually, it wasn't nice weather. On the way
back from North Wales, it absolutely slashed it down. I had to have the roof up the whole time.
It made me sad because it's, it wanted the roof down. I did a sort of cross country route home,
but the attention that car gets is nuts. It's so, it's so attention grabbing, but in a really good
way. Like everybody seems to like it and wants to chat about it. Yeah, Morgan's art. They're a
happy period drama car, aren't they? As you've said before, I saw Wayne Carini when he came over
to the UK recently, the definitely the best mustache in the classic car world, I'd say.
He came to the Goodwood members meeting and I saw him from a distance, but I damn it, I never got to
say hello to him and meet him. I'd like to meet him, but he, he borrowed a Morgan to drive
there and tool around the UK for some days and he very much liked it. But that was a,
that was a plus four. That wasn't a super spout, but um, no, I'm down. I'm down with them. I'm down
with mobs. I think they're good. I actually think that the Morgan, well, Morgan's generally, but
I've certainly experienced the super sport is that in a way it is almost like the David Attenborough
of cars because everybody likes it. And if anyone has anything bad to say about it,
they just keep it to themselves because they, it would be rude to bring it up. It's like,
I'll say this to my wife. I was like, because they get shot down if they said anything.
Attenborough is universal. You know, it's like he's cross generational. Everybody has heard of him.
Yeah. But you never go, oh, it's that bloody David Attenborough on the telly again. It's like,
he's just, I think he's almost, I can't, I cannot think of another celebrity who is so beloved
and respected Joanna Lumley. Oh yeah. Maybe Judy Dench. Oh, Dench. Yeah. Yeah. Dench is good,
but, but Attenborough, he's been on the planet longer. So therefore he's still in the lead,
isn't he? Oh, maybe actually they had him on the Attenborough concert the other week, didn't they?
Michael Palin is probably close. Michael Palin. Yeah. But he's 20 years younger. Paul McCartney.
A bit Paul McCartney as well. I don't think people generally don't slag off Paul McCartney because
that would be rude. No, I went through a phase of finding him a bit irritating, but I actually did
keep it to myself. Good. Yeah. Yeah. I've just remembered that. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, I think
there's people who don't get Morgans. And I was sort of like that. And now I've come around to them.
And I've really actually quite liked them. Me too. Yeah. That's super sports. It's genuinely
a very nice car to drive. It's impressive. I liked it a lot. I think the coming of age thing,
it coincides with Morgans build quality and design getting better and better though, as well.
Yeah. I mean, the design of that super sport, I think it's a better car than it was. Yes.
Inside, it is really well done and really professional design and quality wise. It feels
good. You know, it's not just, it doesn't feel like they've knocked it up in a garage. It is a
proper sort of nice thing to own, I'd imagine. They're also keen value.
So the, the, the super spout is, yeah, so it's basically sort of bottom end 9-11 money. Yeah.
But it's a hand built car. In a way, it's not like it's a really hand built car.
That's it, isn't it? Yeah. So if you value that. Yeah. 9-11s are, you know, 9-11s go down a production
line just like a, you know, a Ford Puma would or something. They are, I mean,
well, it's sort of mass produced on there. I can't remember how many they're making a year. It's not
like exactly sort of millions, but they're definitely not, you couldn't go to the Porsche
factory and sort of speak to the man who is very carefully rolling the aluminium to make your front
wings. Yeah. That is not how a Porsche is made. No. And the Morgan factory is, we have said it
before because we've obviously done two live shows there. And our first live show was at the
Morgan HQ. But there is something really charming and heartwarming about going around the factory
and going, if I ordered one of these, like it's definitely going to be built here by those people
there. Yeah. And if you're talking about it like in the way that they do with horology, with
beautiful watches and low volumes and high-end materials, it's all of that. But it's not
300 grand, which is what a lot of those cars you'd expect to be.
Are there philosophy with the Super Sport, as they said, that morgans are typically like,
I think, a third or fourth car and they would like the Super Sport to be a second or third.
They want it to move up the pecking order, like, as in like, it's more usable more of the time.
But you don't expect to be your only car that would be, you know, they're realistic about where
it sits in its role in anyone's life. But yeah, it's got a small-ish boot and the hood seemed
mostly watertight to me. There was a bit, it's got those slidey windows and I think a little
few drips. I mean, it was absolutely torrential rain at one point, a few drips coming in through
the slidey windows. But the roof itself seemed reasonably watertight. Good. And the roof doesn't
look like a, I don't know, an elephant's scrotum, does it? So that's fine.
No, or it doesn't look like something has sat on it before you tried to put it on.
You went, oh no! Or you left it in the bottom of a sports bag all winter and then went,
oh, shoot, it's all got mildewy and creased. No, it's good. I mean, it's good as Morgan
roofs go. It's not amazing as, I don't know, the Bentley Continental GTC roof goes. But hey,
it's like, just drive it over the roof down, problem solved.
Johnny, I wanted to talk to you about fitting Duramat garage flooring. Oh yeah, I've done that.
You have? Wow. It was actually really easy. And you weren't scared? No, not at all. It was so
simple and I had total faith that everything was top quality. Didn't everything on the ground
look really small? Uh, no. The more I did, the nicer it looked. Well, that's understandable.
And of course, there are so many colors. Oh, and thoughts about that.
Did you do this to raise money for charity? No, but speaking of money, if Smith and Sniff
listeners want to do it, they can get 10% off using the code SSG10. Well, as long as they
like heights. What are you on about? Johnny, I'm sorry. I seem to have confused fitting Duramat
garage flooring with absailing. Of course you have. Smith and Sniff is sponsored by Duramat
garage flooring. Down the BT tower. Sorry. No, that's still up-sailing, isn't it?
Now, Salika Lady News. We're a bit late. late to this party, but that's kind of what
we do here on Smith and Sniff listeners. A couple of weeks back, I actually wrote it
to mention it and I've missed it now for two podcasts. So if I don't mention it in this podcast,
well, that's just idiotic. Have you heard the latest Salika Lady News?
I don't know. Have I? We've mentioned the Salika that was owned by the Grateful Dead.
No, the Dead Kennedys, not the Grateful Dead. Jello Biafra. I think that's what you say, isn't it?
Oh, yes. We did talk about this, but possibly not while we were recording. Yeah.
Yeah. So he's had that cast since it was new in 89. It's done well over 200,000 miles.
So he's used it over the last 30 years. And well, I think he's had it from you. But anyway,
it came into the news recently because he decided after all these years to sell it an auction.
And I saw this was on Hemmings that I saw this written by a piece chap called
Brian McTaggart, who definitely has one of the coolest names I've encountered recently.
Convertible Salika GT, which is not that rare in the US, I don't think. No. And it had quite
ripped seats and quite a lot of faddle damage here and there with the temperamental roof motor.
I love that temperamental roof motor. That's not boating too well. But the chap ended up selling
it with a hammer price of $33,600 because fans of the band really wanted to own it because it's
like the ultimate piece of memorabilia and it's functioning. So he sold it. And of course,
he's not a lady, Jello. But the reason why this is Salika Lady News is because it was bought by
a lady called Tiffany. And Tiffany, there's a video of Tiffany going for a drive in it with
Jello and I guess talking about all of its idiosyncrasies. Not the Tiffany.
She didn't think they were alone now at this point. Oh gosh. You're making me wonder whether it is
actual the Tiffany. I have this vague memory that the actual Tiffany lives in Stoke. Stoke on
Yeah, like I'm sure it's her that she married a British guy and she lives in Stoke, which is
you're lying. Anyway, really? Right. You keep telling us about the Tiffany, possibly not the
pop star going for a drive in this Salika she's bought while I check this. Tiffany. So yeah,
so this lady bought the car and is over the moon with it. Obviously a massive fan of the dead
Sorry, I've just got some Tiffany news. Yeah, I was wrong. Tiffany did not live in Stoke.
Well, in Canuck.
Canuck in Stascia. Yeah, near Stoke. She lives in the UK. Well, it seems like maybe she did.
I this is this is a developing story. But oh, right. Okay, so she her second marriage was to
an Englishman and they lived for a while in Canuck before moving to Nashville. And over the
past couple of years, she spent quite some time in Basing Stoke. She has a friend who lives there.
I think she's quite sure lives in lived in Basing Stoke. But um,
Oh, this okay, so this is an article from 2020. So we don't we don't know Tiffany's whereabouts
now. But let's say for sake of argument that she's moved to, I mean, I don't know.
Matlock Bath. No, I think she Tiffany favours a medium sized but fairly unremarkable British
town, I think. No offense to people who live in those places. But you know what I mean? It's like
they've got a really big BNM home bargains. Yeah, a dual carriageway bypass. Yeah.
And they're twinned with somewhere in France they've never heard of. But there's there's really
not much else. Oh, yeah, I hate that the nonsensical twinning. Yeah, it's really irritating. I'm sure
there are reasons but it always struck me as just like it's an excuse for the mayor to go.
Well, I'd love to sit and talk all day in this council meeting, but I've got to get a flight
to Tokyo because I've just twinned us with it. And it that's all that it's it. I don't I don't
think particularly but I'm sure I'm speaking ill of the motivation for it. I've gone down a Tiffany
rabbit hole. Yeah, well, you should have gone down a Salika lady rabbit hole really. But
so I fell over while I was streaming. I did an enormous amount of gardening this weekend
and really enjoyed it. Trying to get the the the river access summer ready.
I got stung over 30 times. And by by stinging nettles not not something that David Attenborough
would leave in a car. No. And I have you ever been stung so many times that you
you feel like you're burning up your whole body is sort of breathing and swelling and
then falling and swelling. No, it's very odd feeling. But I got stung. I've got that much
venom inside of me. It still hurts now and it's been 48 hours could be more. But okay. So I fell
down a rabbit hole while streaming at pretty much full full gas, which was a little bit embarrassing.
It didn't hurt, but it was a bit embarrassing. But it reminded me the other thing I did just
before the weekend was I didn't have my children so I was in the house on my own. I got back from
a job. And I was like, why is the floor so dirty? Why why is the carpet so filthy?
And it's because my long haired cat Lola gets dry leaves and moss and all sorts of stuff caught in
her coat. And then she runs into the house and then it just kind of comes off. And so no one
had been in the house for several days. And yet it looked like there'd been 10 builders walking in
and out doing quotes with boots on all day. And it was like 11 at night. And I was about to go to
bed. And I just went no, no, that's it. I'm going to vacuum. So I vacuum the house. So I've joined
the midnight vacuum club. I think there's Oh, you've heard of street street street racing people
doing it under the cover of the night. I'm a night time vacuumer. I love it.
Okay. Neighbours not bothered by that? Or are they far enough away? That wouldn't be a
this process. It's not the same as setting off a streamer in your garage, which is
established you have. You have done recently. Yes, I have. I I'm fortunate enough to be in a detached
dwelling. Otherwise, I wouldn't do midnight club vacuuming. But there's something very satisfying
knowing that in the morning, you come down and it's done. It's like, unless the cats brought in a,
you know, 100 way of dry marsh or something. I thought you were going to say all the dirt on
your floor was because your security geese had left a lot of goose toots on the carpet or something.
But no, but it's not. You haven't you haven't gone down that path. No, I've not got a pet goose.
I've got pet tortoises. But and they do they have chat on the floor, but they're not indoors at the
moment. So that's fine. So yeah, but if the car I can't be the only person that it does like midnight
club vacuuming, I cannot be. I can't wait to rotate my new vacuum that I've got one of those
vacuums that sits on the mounts on the wall in the garage, shop fax. Americans call them shop
facts. And it's a vertically mounted canister on the wall with a very, very long hose that you
can walk around the whole room and not have to drag the machine. Oh, I see. And I've lusted
after one of these for some time. Oh, I thought you just meant, you know, one of those those sort of
quick cleanup vaks that's got a bracket to hold it on the wall. Canister stays on the wall. It
stays on the wall and it has a quick release for you to be able to take the drum outside and tip
it into the bin and then click it back. Nice. It's really cool. And I'm very proud of it,
but I haven't mounted it yet because I want to get the garage done properly first. But it just
means you've got such a long hose, you can you can walk around several cars and you don't have
to drag the machine with you. It's like, Oh, how calls this? So my vacuuming game is about to
increase another notch. And you know, the other thing I the other day, I followed a Mazda,
a really dowdy Mazda. What's the sort of quite large people carry it ish one from the early
2000s. Is it a Mazda five? Was that a bit, was that a bit dull looking? There was. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
It was quite or a Demio. No, Demio smaller. Demio is like a Demio small tall super mini.
Oh, so I was following what I think to be a Mazda five and I realized
that Mazda logo. All this time we've been thinking it's a, you know, badly drawn Seagull.
Yeah. It's actually a deep V when you think about it. It's just a V neck. It's just a deep V.
Well, someone at Mazda is well into the plunging necklines, I think. I feel it's,
is it not too shallow for that? Is it not more like when you're wearing a crew neck t-shirt,
but you hook your sunglasses onto the front of it as I quite often do. But then it pulls the,
it creates a small V that some, if done too much will make the neckline shapeless and annoying.
I feel like Vauxhall from a few years ago, they went hard on a deep V. They went full like
Michael Douglas in a nightclub in basic instinct. Oh, they did. What with the front grills?
Front grills with the V. Yeah. With the Vauxhall badge itself forming like some kind of medallion.
Yes, it was, wasn't it? It was a bit like, you know, when someone's rigged up to a heart rate
machine in a hospital and they do the boop. Oh, yes, the ECG. Yes. The ECG. And it, look,
I always thought Vauxhall had definitely modelled that idea on the idea of a pulse,
but I could be completely wrong. Amming indictment on the excitement levels of Vauxhall at that time
that in fact your heart was barely murmuring as a result, because basically it's a flat line with
one dip in it. It doesn't even go up. It doesn't go above the line. That's like it's a, that's a
worrying heart trace, if that's what's going on there. But perhaps it was brought on by seeing
a Vectra. I don't know. Yeah. Well, I, in other news, something that happened a couple of weeks
ago that just won't, won't leave my mind. And I, I apologise to people if this is a bit too
serious, but I think that we should use our podcast as a platform to kind of discuss this sort of
thing. And, and also people have approached us over the years of doing Smith and Sniff to say how,
how, what positive impact this jolly, stupid podcast has had on us. But we get a surprising
number of messages from people who say, you know, thanks, you've helped me through some difficult
times and stuff like that, which we're always, we're delighted to hear. And it's, you know,
you never set out to do things like that. We're just trying to amuse people, entertain people,
whatever. But it says, it carries a lot of weight when people say that and, and we're happy to
fulfil that role, albeit sort of accidentally. But I know what you're about to say because you've
told me the stories, I feel like I should sort of give people a little warning and say that we
may be about to discuss some slightly heavier topics than normal, including suicide. So if that's
triggering for you, then turn off now. But if you want to share with people the experience that you
went through the other week. Yeah, yeah, it was, it was, so it was a few Fridays ago. And I was
invited very kindly to a quite short notice to go and see Carl Cox performing on vinyl with
Prodigy, who they're on tour together right now, or they were in the back end of April.
And I went to Nottingham and our friends Retro Power and the Dan gave me a ticket
and invited me and I couldn't wait because I've never seen Carl Cox on vinyl before.
You know, I got to a multi-story car park, parked my car and I was in a bit of a rush,
ran out the multi-story car park and you know, when you're on your phone trying to
key in your sat nav and you walk a little bit and then you realise the compass does a bit of a U-turn
swing and you're supposed to have gone the other way. So I went down a road just outside the car
park, realised I'd gone the wrong way and as I turned around I heard an alarm go off and the whole
car park resonated with an alarm and I thought that's a bit strange. And as I was walking back
up to the entrance of the car park, I realised I'd just left the car park when somebody had
presumably jumped off the car park and there was a woman on the pavement on the other side
in shock on the phone to the emergency services and I didn't see the person because I think they
they were in a there was a tree foliage around them because they'd sort of hit a tree on the
way down because there's trees along the road. And it took me a while to really understand
what was going on and of course you never expect this sort of thing, do you? It was a busy Friday
night and I tried to go and help. The guy was, you know, alive and I really feel quite guilty
at the fact that I nearly fainted, had to sit down, then I got back up again and then tried to help
luckily two women came over and were immediately trying to comfort him and look I won't talk about
all the details and stuff but nevertheless he was not in a good way and it just made me think,
it just made me think how sad it is that people feel like that is a good idea that that's a good
solution to whatever darkness is they're experiencing in their life and the problem is is
it's also not just the person though, is it? It's the people immediately associated with them
and to be honest with you Rich, I felt really terrible for the girl as well who was making
the 999 call because she was quite young, 2021 I think she was a student and she was in quite a
bit of distress and I felt really, I felt useless for a start because I didn't really help very
well, I was trying to compute what I was seeing and couldn't stop, I haven't been able to stop
thinking about it for several weeks afterwards and I've talked to a few people about it,
yourself included, my girlfriend and I've even spoken to my daughter about it and it made me
realise that if you ever feel like you're in a situation like this, please, please, please,
I mean don't be afraid to talk, we've grown up men, this is predominantly men, we've grown up
in a way where a lot of us have been told or led to believe that it's best to just grit your teeth
and carry on and it makes you more alpha to not share problems and that's not the case at all
and luckily we're breaking that cycle slowly but I think suicide still affects nearly 50% of
male deaths under 50 which is a horrifying statistic and when we get news about this podcast
from people to say that they were in a quite a dark place and this podcast really brightens
up there week, it is extremely heartwarming and I guess my family has been affected by suicide
in the past, my granddad unfortunately took his life when I was less than a year old
and I know for a fact that it's affected my dad, I know it has forever so don't be afraid,
please talk about it and thanks to everybody that I mentioned in my Patreon in the Late
Break Show Patreon about this, I wrote a blog about it, thanks to everyone that came forward
and said that they've had similar experiences and how they've coped with it or just to comfort,
just to be comforting really so I just want to say let's share these things and let's not be
honest with you, doing something very wholesome over the weekend with my family and just being
in the garden really helped, I know that sounds a bit weird or just cleaning the car but I'm
fortunate in that I've never felt that kind of darkness but I have been around people that have
and so yeah I was going to say I mean I count my blessings that I've never been in that position
but I think there's not one of us can say that we never would be because you just don't know
and sometimes people are rather damning about about those who have been in that position and
you know accusing them of selfishness not thinking of others but I think you cannot
comprehend being in that position until you've been there and because it's not rational, it's not
logical and I've heard enough about it from people I know who have been towards that brink
where you're thinking in a totally different way and one of your thoughts is that you believe the
world is better off without you and you know it's hard to comprehend how that must feel so
you can't really judge until you've been there or been close to it but I think you're absolutely
right we should probably do more to try and help those who are having those thoughts or who are just
in a position where you know they are they do feel there's a black cloud above them because
like you say I think men typically we're very bad at talking about this stuff
we are sharing it yeah and and we should be better because hopefully it can help and
so I thought it was important just to say that if you are in a position where you just feel like
everything is getting on top of you or you are having dark thoughts of any sort then there are
people out there that you can talk to um I've pulled up the the website for calm the campaign
against living miserably their charity they they have a hotline that you can call they're
800 58 58 58 they also do whatsapp and live chat um of course there's the samaritans that
can't have their number on their website 116 123 yeah yeah yeah and of course they're you know
well known as a place that you can you can talk to people um and so all we want to do I'm sorry
this is unusually serious for us but is just just acknowledge that um people out there are struggling
and we hope that we can just bring a little bit of a reminder that um it's also good to check in on
others yeah it's good to check in on people you're not even worried about you don't even think they
might be in a bad place because it's just a good thing to have a human connection just just message
somebody I'm spoken to for a while with a meme or a link or a photo or any old bullshit yeah because
I think that's sort of how men men never explicitly or then we're not so good at explicitly checking
in no we're not but I know I'm not checking it's just uh hey look I saw this you know this car for
sale or I saw this meme ever of an elephant sniffing its own ass or whatever it is it's just
idiotic stuff but it's just a way of going I thought of you today in some way or other I
thought of you and I thought you'd like this and and that in itself can actually be a good thing
so even these small gestures but um we've lost too many people already so let's
let's try not to lose any more I think yeah yeah um anyway uh it is there are the reasons of course
that we bring this up is because you told me what you'd seen um in your experience in Nottingham
and we realized that May is mental health month yeah and so it seemed particularly
opposite because we've said before oh we should talk more about male mental health because it's
you know it's a big topic it's a topic that can never be talked about enough because you know as
men we are hopeless sometimes about yeah oh I'm sure it'll sort itself out whether it's a funny
noise from your car or some you know weird patch on your skin oh I'm sure that'll sort itself out
it's so true isn't it it's so true I've got blood in my stool I'm sure it's fine how long have you
had that for five years oh that seems like a long time oh well yeah you should just go and get
professional help it's a thing on a personal note as well you know I'd like to say I count
my blessings I've never been in a truly dark place but a few years ago I did go to therapy because
there's a lot of death in my family over the years and my wife is American I think Americans
have a slightly more healthy attitude to talking to professionals about it because sometimes you
know it's easy to go and just talk to your friends you go you don't want to be a burden you don't want
to be that person who's always in the corner of the pub or whatever bringing up the same topics
you know your friends however good they are they they are not professionals and people don't really
know what to do with things that you share with them sometimes it does help to sort of find a
neutral a neutral person to speak to and so with the encouragement of my wife she went just you know
you've got carrying things around I think you know grief is something it's sort of like a backpack
that you carry around and you get used to it but it's always there and sometimes you forget you're
carrying it at all but then sometimes it's sort of you know the straps are digging into your
shoulder and there's a danger you just go ah it's fine it's just a backpack a backpack of grief
and it can help enormously and I went to see someone just initially just to go and sort of
talk about some sort of immediate things relating to you know various members of my family that have
died and and ended up actually doing the sessions for a lot longer than I thought because it's just
incredibly useful to talk to somebody and good thing sort of that's really good it just I didn't
really sort of cleans cleans up your your sort of your brain in a weird way I can't fully explain
it except to say that I heartily recommend it and you know I don't think there should be any shame in
talking about these things and admitting that you you know you go and talk to somebody
um and it can really help and it doesn't have to be because you're absolutely at the brink of total
despair in fact it's better if you do it before that point and um it just gets things off your
chest with somebody who is there to to listen so um talking is good it is it is even though sometimes
it's very difficult it's a terrible thing you hear he seemed fine yeah and that I think is probably
also quite telling about when people are driven to these places in their minds is that it does not
matter what else has happened to you in your life in a positive way no success does not ward off
these dark places for some people and so you know we do we have to be mindful of that as well
yeah completely completely it doesn't matter it's not linked to how much money you've got in your
bank or whatever no it's not like that but um well um god well I'm sorry this is a
little bit more of a downbeat note than we're used to ending on but we do we are at the point where
we uh we need to wrap up the show um I'm just going to say again if the calmzone.net is the
calm website 0800 58 58 58 is their hotline um Samaritans 116 123 this is all in the UK obviously
but um wherever you are in the world there are equivalents and um you can quite easily find them
online they also have advice sorry I was going to say I was going to end on a slightly lighter note
one of them is a statement and one of them is a question yeah the statement is I want to buy a
log flume I'm serious I'm going to buy I want to buy a log flume boat if anyone can help me find one
I want a single log flume boat I've decided that's what I want right I'm going to put an electric
outboard on it and I am going to tour around the river on a log flume that's the statement
two okay the question is this when I went to the car cox prodigy gig do you know what I suddenly
thought about was if you were old enough like our sort of age to go clubbing in the 90s why was it
that there was there was such a nonsense dress code to get into clubs in the 90s why did you
have to dress like you were going to your dad's work that's what I don't understand yes you do
and do you know this thing come in and do some photocopying but you've got to wear
chinos I know I don't know Phil my videographer from late break show he went clubbing um it dressed as
dressed as spider man once I can't remember the context but anyway he dressed fully as spider
man and he was queuing to get up in the club and you know why he didn't get in let me guess trainers
because he was wearing red trainers so he genuinely he went to his mate's house who was
the closest house to where the club was and his mate his mate gave him the key and let him borrow
a pair of smart smart black shoes but they're the wrong size so he he ran home got some smart shoes
that didn't fit him and then spider man went into the club wearing smart shoes
so he's fine he's wearing a skin suit like spider but it's fine because he's wearing highly polished
black ben Sherman shoes so that's brilliant but then if he put some jeans on over his spider
man legs he would have been thrown out again obviously he would have been thrown out because
you know looking too slovenly exactly because it's well known is that you can't you can't cause any
trouble if you're wearing smart casual trousers and shoes but no nonsense thank goodness those days
are past um look we really are over time now so we should wrap this up but um uh thank you for
listening sorry some of that was a little more serious than all but we thought it was important
topic to raise um we'll be back on friday doing an autosault uh a normal show again on monday so
until then thank you for listening goodbye cheers guys thanks guys bye
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About this episode
“Not Dave Attenborough” bounces from car chat to comedy and then into something more serious. The hosts riff on David Attenborough—“We enjoyed the new. BYD Atto 3, which is the Attenborough 3.”—and get into driver-assist “SDA” quirks, plus listener stories about a “wet belt change at a cost of £1.15,000.” Later, they trade convertible and rare-car details (Ferrari 360 Spider, Renault SpaWet, Morgan Super Sport) before shifting to mental-health support, including CALM’s hotline and encouraging people to talk before “the brink of total despair.”
Jonny and Richard pay a belated 100th birthday tribute with a surprising fact about Sir David Attenborough. Also in this episode, a lizard for a car alarm, a strimmer mishap, the Peugeot 1007 and James Bond, the PR power of swans, a haughty lady and a pastry, two delightful roofless cars from Car & Classic, the Morgan Supersport, Jello Biafra’s Celica, Tiffany in Staffordshire, and midnight vacuuming. WARNING: Around 50 minutes into this episode there is a chat about mental health and a recent incident that some listeners may find distressing. There is a warning in the show when it’s coming up. If you’re struggling, or you know someone who is, there are some links below to places that can help and people you can talk to.
