Richard Porter takes solo charge answering listener questions about classic Top Gear moments and behind-the-scenes stories. He reveals the origins of the iconic red car parade in the intro, the creative process behind the poetic Aston Martin V12 Vantage film, and the humorous door-sign gags he designed. Richard also shares insights on the Top Gear Winter Olympics, the fate of forfeit cars, and the making of the Top Gear annuals, including anecdotes about tight deadlines and presenter reactions. The episode offers a nostalgic and candid look at the show's early production quirks and creative decisions.
In a Top Gear special, Richard answers listener’s questions about the red cars in the TG titles, yellow snow, the Aston V12 Vantage film, door opening rude words gags, forfeit cars and the old Top Gear annuals.
"Johnny is very busy filming for the late break show or forming a plan to leave his Dodge Charger on Mallorca or something, so I'm afraid it's just me."
The Dodge Charger is a big car from America that is known for being fast and strong, often used in movies and car shows.
The Dodge Charger is a full-size sedan known for its powerful engine options and muscle car heritage, often associated with American performance cars.
"And since we get a few questions in about Top Gear or the Grand Tour, I thought I'll just take a little whiz through some of those since that's sort of my department."
Top Gear is a TV show from Britain where people talk about and test cars in fun and interesting ways.
Top Gear is a popular British television show focused on cars, known for its entertaining reviews, challenges, and automotive culture content.
"And since we get a few questions in about Top Gear or the Grand Tour, I thought I'll just take a little whiz through some of those since that's sort of my department."
The Grand Tour is a TV show where people who used to be on Top Gear talk about cars and go on trips with them.
The Grand Tour is a British motoring television series created by former Top Gear presenters, featuring car reviews, challenges, and travel adventures.
"And so from memory, the cars came from car companies, from press offices, and including the Ferrari, I think the Ferrari don't just normally like hand out cars or things like that."
Press offices are parts of car companies that give cars to reporters and TV shows so they can talk about them and show them to people.
Press offices are departments within car companies responsible for managing media relations and providing vehicles for journalists and TV shows for reviews and promotional purposes.
"And they did a sort of triathlon, biathlon, one of those things with shooting and driving SUVs. And I think we had like a pre-prod Audi Q7 and it got damaged."
The Audi Q7 is a big, fancy SUV made by Audi. It has lots of space inside and can drive well on different road conditions.
The Audi Q7 is a full-size luxury SUV produced by the German automaker Audi. It is known for its spacious interior, advanced technology, and quattro all-wheel-drive system, making it popular for both family and performance-oriented driving.
"So Nigel did that V12 vantage film. And that's one of the reasons it looks so incredible. Alex goes on to say, I remember watching this episode back in 2009 at the tender age of 13..."
The Aston Martin V12 Vantage is a fast sports car with a big V12 engine packed into a small body. It's special because it combines power and style from a famous British car maker called Aston Martin.
The Aston Martin V12 Vantage is a high-performance variant of the Vantage model, featuring a powerful V12 engine. It is known for its compact design that tightly fits the large V12 engine, making it a notable 'hot rod' with impressive performance and distinctive styling from the British luxury sports car manufacturer Aston Martin.
"...V12 noises and very few words from Jeremy, along with one of the prettiest cars ever made...cars like that, particularly that little V12 vantage was such a hot rod, massive V12 wedged into this shell..."
A V12 engine is a type of car engine that has 12 cylinders arranged in two rows. It helps the car run very smoothly and fast, and is usually found in fancy sports cars.
A V12 engine is a twelve-cylinder piston engine where the cylinders are arranged in two banks of six, forming a 'V' shape. This configuration is known for smooth power delivery and high performance, often used in luxury and sports cars like the Aston Martin V12 Vantage.
"cars like that, particularly that little V12 vantage was such a hot rod, massive V12 wedged into this shell that could barely accommodate it."
A 'hot rod' is a car that is made to go really fast, usually by putting a big engine into a small car. It means the car is built for speed and power.
A 'hot rod' is a term used to describe a car that has been modified or designed for high performance and speed, often with a powerful engine in a lightweight or compact body. In this context, it refers to the Aston Martin V12 Vantage's powerful V12 engine packed into a small chassis, emphasizing its performance-oriented nature.
"they had to take the passenger seat out of the Aston in order to install this motion control rig. So that that shot where the camera is sort of looking through the windscreen, then it sort of slowly panned around to find Jeremy."
A motion control rig is a special camera setup that moves very smoothly and exactly the same way every time. This helps make cool videos of cars by showing them from different angles without shaking.
A motion control rig is a specialized camera system that allows precise, repeatable movements for filming. It is often used in automotive shoots to create smooth, dynamic shots around or inside a vehicle.
"I'm never sure about the forfeit cars. It felt like we got to such a point where we never used them, so we should probably just not bother."
'Forfeit cars' are cars that get taken out of a race or show because they stop working or aren't needed anymore.
In automotive shows or competitions, 'forfeit cars' refer to vehicles that are given up or removed from the competition, often because they are no longer useful or have failed. They may be sidelined and not featured prominently.
"talking about ones not making it, the SD1 in the very last Grand Tour Special was doing well right up until near the end, and then it gave out. So it's not at the end of that film because it wasn't anywhere near where they were filming it because it had finally conked out."
The Rover SD1 is an old British car that was made in the 1970s and 80s. It looks different from many cars because it has a hatchback style, which means the back opens up like a big door. Some people like it because it looks cool, but it can have some problems with its parts.
The Rover SD1 is a large executive car produced by British manufacturer Rover from 1976 to 1986. It was known for its distinctive hatchback design and was popular in the UK and some export markets. The SD1 has a reputation for both style and some mechanical issues, making it a notable classic car.
"and then it gave out. So it's not at the end of that film because it wasn't anywhere near where they were filming it because it had finally conked out."
'Conked out' means the car stopped working or broke down suddenly.
'Conked out' is a colloquial term meaning that a vehicle stopped working or broke down, often unexpectedly. It usually refers to engine or mechanical failure.
"Like, you know, we'd have a fixer or something who would just sell it locally because they're not like the star cars where they're a bit sort of identifiable and recognizable."
A 'fixer' is someone who repairs cars to get them working again or ready to sell.
A 'fixer' in automotive contexts is a person who repairs, restores, or prepares cars, often for resale or use. They can help make non-running or damaged vehicles usable again.
"because they're not like the star cars where they're a bit sort of identifiable and recognizable. But most of them are just, you know, going way back to like a beetle from the original Botswana Special."
'Star cars' are the important or famous cars that people really notice in shows or movies.
'Star cars' refers to vehicles that are the main focus or highlight in automotive shows or films. These cars are usually rare, iconic, or have special significance, making them more recognizable and valuable.
"But most of them are just, you know, going way back to like a beetle from the original Botswana Special, just a beetle. So just flog it, someone who can get some use out of it."
The Volkswagen Beetle is a small, round car that lots of people know because it was made for a very long time. It has a special engine in the back and is easy to fix, which made it very popular.
The Volkswagen Beetle is an iconic compact car originally produced from the 1930s through 2003. Known for its distinctive rounded shape and rear-engine layout, it became one of the best-selling cars worldwide. The Beetle is often associated with simplicity and durability.
"Thomas Off of Kent. He says, Hello, you pair of Vanos Solenoids, hope you're well. Richard, recently you mentioned something about being involved in the writing of the Top Gear annuals."
Vanos solenoids are parts in some BMW engines that help control when the engine's valves open and close to make the car run better.
Vanos solenoids are components in BMW engines that control the variable valve timing system called Vanos. They regulate oil flow to adjust camshaft timing, improving engine performance and efficiency.
"there's just a blank white page with just a picture of a Dacia Sandero on it, and it says, good news, the Dacia Sandero is in this book. And that was a last minute panic,"
The Dacia Sandero is a small, inexpensive car that many people in Europe buy because it doesn't cost much and is easy to use. It's like a simple, reliable car for everyday driving.
The Dacia Sandero is a compact hatchback produced by the Romanian manufacturer Dacia, known for its affordability and practicality. It gained attention in the 2010s as a budget-friendly car popular in Europe.
Select text to request an explanation
I'm Richard Porter, and this is on the other side of things, the Smith and Sniff spin-off
in which, for this week, it's just me answering your questions.
Yes, I'm on my own this week. Johnny is very busy filming for the late break show or forming
a plan to leave his Dodge Charger on Mallorca or something, so I'm afraid it's just me.
And since we get a few questions in about Top Gear or the Grand Tour, I thought I'll
just take a little whiz through some of those since that's sort of my department.
Well, Johnny's not here. I'm going to start with one from a listener called Will who says,
Hello, you wonderful flutes. While watching a classic rerun of Top Gear on BBC iPlayer,
I had a thought run through my mind. What was the reason to have the parade of red cars on
the track at the start of the intro? I'm not sure if Richard has mentioned it previously.
Also, where did the cars come from? CMTMB, Will. That's a good question because, God,
that was a long time ago. That was the original titles, so from 2002 until some point when
they were changed. So the back story to that, as far as I can remember is just that it was
decided that there should be something. And I think was there some original plan that there
was going to be like a Ferrari sort of hassling loads of other cars out of the way. Some of
that may even have been filmed. But in the end, it was just that bit of them all going
in a sort of unnaturally tight snake around that bit of the test track. I guess they were
all red because that just looked visually the strongest against a grey airfield on camera.
But what I remember is that I'm pretty sure that was shot on the morning that we recorded
the studio for episode one, which is really short. You wouldn't do that now because I don't know
what if something went wrong or then the car from the camera, I suppose it would have been a tape in
those days got lost and you sort of wouldn't have titles. It was very hand to mouth, but that's
sort of how things were done at that point. And so from memory, the cars came from car companies,
from press offices, and including the Ferrari, I think the Ferrari don't just normally like
hand out cars or things like that. But maybe they were feeling generous because it would have,
you know, got them at the top of the show every week. But yeah, they were just cars borrowed
from from car companies. I think pretty much it was decided on the basis of whoever we rang
and asked the question, yes, we do have a red car on our press fleet got in there. There's a mini,
isn't there? And God, I can't remember what else. It's, it's such a long time ago. But it's weird
how it was on the start of the show so often that I suppose it became quite familiar. And then
I have a feeling that that bit where the camera sort of zooms upwards and you see the roof of
the studio, except it's not the roof of the studio, the real studio is a little building
tacked onto the big one you can see in that shot. But then it just didn't look very impressive. So
we kind of pretended that the big hanger was the top gear studio and digitally put the logo
onto the roof that logo, not there, obviously. But I think that must have been done with a helicopter
because drones, certainly ones that could shoot broadcast quality footage, weren't really a thing
then. So that would have, I assume been a helicopter, which is all quite like spending
money, but then sort of spending money just trying to make a, a gray airfield look a bit more
interesting. So I'm almost certain that that was filmed on the day we did the first studio
recording. So that would have been a Wednesday and the show would have gone live on a Sunday.
So it was all a bit, you know, a bit short notice, but then it wasn't really that complicated.
And I'm pretty sure I think we were in the studio rehearsing or in the office like reading
through the studio script. And so I didn't get to go out and drive those cars on the track.
That was, but it was just people from the office. Again, I thought I think maybe now
a more cautious producer would go, right, we'd better get some professional drivers in to do
that because it's close formation driving and probably the risk assessment would demand it.
But in those days, it was just like, right, who from the office can drive and isn't super busy
this morning, get out there, get in, well, not the Ferrari, maybe the Ferrari someone,
maybe the stick was in that, I forget, but some, but the other cars just people from the office
driving really close to each other around the track and, you know, TV being as they probably
had to do that again and again and again, all for one shot at the start of the show. But,
you know, it sort of became very familiar with that noise at the start of the theme tune. So
anyway, yeah, that was the reason it was just something visually interesting.
And it may have been sort of the tail end of a bigger idea that would have had like loads of
red cars zooming about that just became one shot of completely unnatural driving and nothing like
that ever really happened on the track. But, you know, it was probably all a bit of a scramble
and we just went, yeah, that'll do quick, just get it done, get it done, we need that for the
star. And then we're going to spend the rest of the money on a helicopter and digitally putting
the logo onto the roof of a hangar. Next question is from a listener called Erin. And she says,
hello, USSG's. Question for Richard. Was the golden snow in the Top Gear Winter Olympics
actually apple juice or some other yellow liquid? I presume they didn't actually eat piss.
And also, was James technically the winner as he got the most medals? Kind of regards, Erin.
I don't, I don't remember that was like 20 years ago, but I'm going to say yes,
it would have been apple juice or something similar. I don't think we would have made any
of the presenters eat actual urine, even if it soaked into snow. So yeah, there would have been
some telly nonsense going on there. I don't know. I wasn't on that shoot. My abiding memory of the
Top Gear Winter Olympics special is that again, sort of all very short notice as in I think they
filmed it in January and it was on telly in February. And as time went on, those specials just
got sort of more and more involved and there was more and more run up and then months in the edit.
And that one was just sort of, you know, all slapped together quite quickly. It was probably
quite good because of it because it was all quite sort of jolly and carefree. And obviously,
there's lots and lots of planning and setup in advance, but filming to broadcast time pretty
short by the standards of what happened with the show later. And so my abiding memory is just that
it was just before Christmas. I think it's 2005 because that show went out in 2006, I think.
So it was just before Christmas 2005. And we'd sort of got a script. I mean, there's a lot that
went on in that show that was completely ad-libbed and made up and unexpected, but there had to be
a script to the sort of structure of how everything was going to work and, you know, the setups to
the different segments. And it was all a bit sort of unfinished and a bit vague. And I remember sort
of trying to cobble stuff together and then trying to ring Jeremy to ask him something
or to see when he could have a look at it. And I rang him and he was at Richard Burns' funeral,
which is slightly awkward. So that would be December 2005. And he never did get back to me
after that. And then I just sort of went away for Christmas. And the next thing, they filmed it
with apple juice in the snow, I presume. And was James technically the winner? Yeah,
probably. I don't know. I can't remember much about that show except the ski jumping mini,
obviously. And they did a sort of triathlon, biathlon, one of those things with shooting and
driving SUVs. And I think we had like a pre-prod Audi Q7 and it got damaged. And that caused a
bit of a stink. So yeah, I don't my memory is a bit vague on that. But if James got the most
medals, then I suppose he's the winner. That's how the Olympics generally go. But I don't know.
I could ask him, because I'm sure that if he's still smarting over being robbed of a victory,
he might remember it. But sorry, I didn't, I didn't get around to asking him before
recording this. Sorry, Aaron. Next question is from a listener called Alex. He says,
hey guys, a question for Richard. I recently watched the old Top Gear clip of Jeremy reviewing
the Aston Martin V12 Vantage. Alex has put reviewing in inverted commas. And it reminded
me of how I felt when I first watched it. This is the one where he didn't really say an awful
lot about the car, use that Brian Eno soundtrack and then just some really beautiful shots.
Hence, Alex using the inverted commas because it wasn't really review. It was a sort of,
I don't know, like a kind of, you know, visuals and the soundscape and just
great beauty. That was the director was Nigel Simpkis, one of the original directors of that
new generation Top Gear, who was really the main person for establishing that Top Gear would
have really beautiful films in it. Because we hadn't ever really sat down and said,
when everything must look really cool, and you know, we'll use lots of interesting
tricks and filters and edit techniques and make the clouds go backwards and all this sort of
stuff. And Nigel just came in and started doing that. Which is quite telling that Nigel is a
former video editor and director. So he's sort of editing in his head, I think, as he goes.
And it gives him this extra, I think, this extra quality when he's filming. And actually,
as some of the other great directors that I've worked with have been former editors,
I think it just helps them to sort of assemble it together in their brains while they're still
filming. So Nigel did that V12 vantage film. And that's one of the reasons it looks so incredible.
Alex goes on to say, I remember watching this episode back in 2009 at the tender age of 13,
and initially feeling confused as it wasn't like the ordinary reviews,
where one of the presenters was spanking a car around the track in clouds of smoke,
or the three of them were up to their usual antics. Rewatching it now at a much more mature age,
I can appreciate it with the Kia Soul-stirring Brianino soundtrack mixed with V12 noises and
very few words from Jeremy, along with one of the prettiest cars ever made. My question to you
is this, who came up with the idea to do such a different style of review? And how did it come
about? The answer is Jeremy. It was a classic example of Jeremy just arriving in the office,
probably with an idea that no one saw coming, which was to do a film with almost no words in it.
And I think it was triggered by driving that Aston and his sense that it was a sort of end-of-days
moment. I mean, in retrospect, he was a little bit premature, but it made sense at the time that
cars like that, particularly that little V12 vantage was such a hot rod, massive V12 wedged
into this shell that could barely accommodate it. And he just felt that that kind of car wasn't going
to be around for long. And so he said, I want to celebrate that. And he got, I'm pretty sure,
he got that Brianino track in mind. In fact, he may have heard the Brianino track first and
everything else sort of fell into place around that because it's called a scent of an ending, I think.
So, you know, ending is in the title. And yeah, he just said, this is what I want to do. And he
had this very definite idea. He was not going to say very much. And the song was just going to play.
And he wanted to shoot it somewhere very beautiful. And in fact, we had the car
for quite a long time before and maybe after Jeremy shot his bits, which let's be honest,
didn't take that long. He said they sort of did because they had to take the passenger seat out
of the Aston in order to install this motion control rig. So that that shot where the camera
is sort of looking through the windscreen, then it sort of slowly panned around to find Jeremy.
But what's happening outside the car changes as that that pan happens. That needed a very clever
motion control thing, which you know, at the time was very expensive and complicated. You can do it
on a little pocket thing now. But yeah, that that took a bit of work. So yeah. So I suspect Jeremy
was there filming for longer than it looked. But then they definitely had the car for even longer
and just spent for memory days out in the countryside, just getting endless, lovely shots of this car
to really make sure that they could do justice to this idea. But the idea was definitely Jeremy
just coming up with something. And I just think I don't remember contributing much to that except
that I really, really wanted because it was the end of the series. And it was the last film of
the last show of the series. I really, really wanted to be no credits. I thought it's just
fade out. And I can't remember if I got that wish, or if they ran along the bottom. But I thought it
was more poignant, the way that Blackadder goes forth ended with no credits. And I thought the
same thing. The problem was, there was such a sense of poignancy in that film that I remember
we got quite a few messages from people going, Oh, no, is that it? Is your show over then? You
never coming back? No, just did the series just want to end on a little down note for a change.
And people thought it was like the end of everything. So I suppose it's nice that people
remember it. It was definitely different. I love the fact it was different. I was really,
really pleased with that film even though I didn't have much to do with it. But I loved the way that
we at that point in the history of the show, it probably got a little bit more sort of bold
in the thinking where we can do, we can do different things. And in fact, we need to do
different things so that people don't know what's coming next, you know, we can still surprise them.
And I think that era of the show when we could give people things they weren't expecting was
probably its best time. Because, you know, we were sort of, we were on the up, we're still
surprising people, still growing the audience, still doing better than we ever expected to do
when we were first sort of shooting a load of red cars driving around a drab corner on their field
and so on. So yeah, that, I hope that answers your question, Alex. The next question is from a
listener called Joe P who says, hello, you pair of hamshafts. Hearing your chat on your recent
podcast about the terribly executed signwriting on business fans reminded me of one transit
connect that used to frequent my university town. I won't say where in case he's still in business.
The company was Aaron's aerials, but he'd failed to use a possessive apostrophe on his own name.
And then it added one unnecessarily to pluralize the word aerial. It was also not centered correctly
on the van doors and in a horrible font. Given I was in the middle of a linguistics degree and
dabbling in graphic design, it filled me with a particularly virulent rage at the vehicle signage
business who hadn't proofread it at all. However, it did also stir happy memories of the good old
semi covert top gear gag of writing things across cars or gates in such a way so that
when a door opened, it said arse biscuits or lesbian hat. I always appreciated those laughs.
Porter, were you responsible for coming up with that and running with it as a returning gag
throughout the show? Did you write them all or were they spur of the moment and thrown around
the office? Joe P, um, yeah, they were my department. And, um, was the original one
was the BMW racing car, I think, which you had the arse biscuits and what is on the other side?
Oh, a penis, penis oils or penis, was it penis? I was just a penis, maybe I can't remember.
Um, yeah, that was the first one. I can't remember how it first came about.
But I used to do them for that one and subsequently just get a side profile picture or diagram of
the car and then just mess around in Photoshop until it was right because they are quite fiddly
to do. And really, to make them work the way they should, they have to look natural when the
doors are closed. It can't, you know, you can't cheat the layout of a genuine word. So if the
shut lines on the car and the other real estate you've got to play with because cars, of course,
all sorts of bits and pieces, including like wheel arches and things that get in the way.
So it's, it's a bit of a fiddle to plan them out. There was one we did. Uh, was it, they
meant ice racing in France in some coupes or something? And I don't know, I think we got
a bit carried away at this point and we were just like, yeah, let's do that gag on all the cars
involved. And there was like a forfeit car and something else. And I think they got there.
And then Jeremy liked the fake sponsors and the rude word that was going to be applied to the
forfeit car more than he liked what I'd pitched for his car. And I don't know why
he changed his mind only on location. So they just switched them around. But I actually
spent quite a lot of time knowing what the cars were, getting everything to fit. So
it didn't quite work on his car. And it did sort of all bunch up or not fit properly. And I was
really annoyed about that. I was like, I put the time into this. And now you've derailed it by
switching the cars around. But then we're generally mine. The only time the BMW, I showed Jeremy
what I'd come up with on Photoshop for that three series. And he went, or you could do one from
Skuntthorpe Carpets. And I went, Oh, yeah, yeah. And then I mocked that up in Photoshop. And I
got it to work with the shutters on the three series. And I went, Hey, Jeremy, look, I've done
it. And he went, Oh, my God, no, we can't do that. I was only joking. So that got thrown away. I
thought it would have been quite a good gag if maybe later, when it was established that we used
to do the dicking around with the door opening thing, that there was a car sponsored by Skuntthorpe
Carpets. But then the gag on top of that was you can never open that door, because it would be far
too rude for, well, everything really. So yeah, we didn't. But but that was the only time I thought
Jeremy was suggesting something. And it turns out he was just joking. But otherwise, no, it was one
of those ones where it's kind of like, Oh, this is your department, because it's a bit childish and
stupid. The people would just leave me to it. I quite liked just sit there on Photoshop for a
while fiddling around. And then it's quite satisfying when it works. And then we used to do
ones on doors. I don't know, they were never quite as good, because you can take more liberties.
Some of the the way in which text was justified on those signs was I thought very implausible. But
you know, it's sort of for the sake of a joke, or you can cheat it sometimes by putting a logo
or something to fill up a bit of blank space that would otherwise be obvious that it's, you know,
you're trying to allow a gate to open to say knob end or something. So yeah, those those were mine.
And I would be lying if I said I wasn't quite proud of them, even though I know they are childish.
And I was very proud when the BMW racing car, the first one, was that the Silverstone? Is it 24
hour race? And I got a message from my sometime colleague, Jethro Bovingdon, who was also there
on, I guess, representing EVO maybe or something, you're racing a car. And he just messaged me,
went, See, you're a lot of hair with a BMW. It got swear words when they opened the doors. Is
that down to you? And I was sort of quite pleased that he assumed immediately it must be my work,
which he was. So yeah, someone's got the doors, I think, off that BMW somewhere as well. I can't
remember who. But they do still exist. I don't know why you'd want the doors and not the car,
doesn't matter now. They're just an artifact, aren't they? Anyway, I have another question here
from a listener who calls themselves Derek Parsnip. They say, Hello, Richard and Johnny,
I'm currently in a hotel room in Belfast for work and spending the evening watching top gear
reruns on Dave. My question is, who drove the forfeit cars on the top gear challenges? And
given how shit they were, did they always make it? Also, what happened to all those vehicles after
recording CMTMB? They were driven usually by someone from the office, bit of a short straw,
but usually a researcher or the assistant producer or someone who was just given the task
of driving them because, you know, somebody's got to. And I suppose sometimes that was worse than
others. Did they always make it? Mostly yes. But I'm trying to think if any of the presenters
were ever forced into a forfeit car. Well, sort of, James May was a bit, wasn't he, in that one,
with a little, what was that thing called, crossly in Eastern Europe? But generally,
they just sort of loitered around, and quite often they'd always fade from view in the edit
because they didn't really add anything. I'm never sure about the forfeit cars. It felt like
we got to such a point where we never used them, so we should probably just not bother. But actually,
talking about ones not making it, the SD1 in the very last Grand Tour Special was doing well
right up until near the end, and then it gave out. So it's not at the end of that film because it
wasn't anywhere near where they were filming it because it had finally conked out. I can't
remember what happened to it. And as to what happens to those vehicles after recording, I don't
know. Probably most of the time, it depends where they've come from. And if they're allowed to stay
in the country, sometimes they're not because they were sourced elsewhere. But if they are,
they probably just get sold. Like, you know, we'd have a fixer or something who would just
sell it locally because they're not like the star cars where they're a bit sort of identifiable
and recognizable. But most of them are just, you know, going way back to like a beetle from
the original Botswana Special, just a beetle. So just flog it, someone who can get some use out of
it. But I don't remember. Probably latterly stuff would come back if the other star cars were being
shipped back, just for probably car and a reasons or whatever the other sort of things it might be.
And then I don't know, a lot of stuff just sort of ended up lurking around in the yards of people
who used to help us fix up cars. So I couldn't say for sure. It's a mixed bag. But then they
weren't ever sort of particularly recognizable or memorable, I would say. So I don't think anyone
really cares that much about getting hold of them in the way they would about some of the star cars.
So yeah, they just slipped through the cracks. Right. Next question is someone signing off as
Thomas Off of Kent. He says, Hello, you pair of Vanos Solenoids, hope you're well. Richard,
recently you mentioned something about being involved in the writing of the Top Gear annuals.
Are you able to speak a bit about the process of how they came to be and the creative process
behind them? They were a huge part of my sphere of interest in Top Gear as a child. I distinctly
remember parts of the annual with scenes containing hundreds of stigs and increasingly
ridiculous outfits. I would love to know the meetings that resulted in these.
Well, now I don't Thomas, there were some Top Gear annuals that were aimed at kids.
And I think that might be what you're referring to if you were and kid when you were reading them.
But then there were also what they called the Big Book of Top Gear. And there were four of
those in total, three big book of top gears with the sort of year they came out like a Christmas
annual. And then one of them was blatantly called the Top Gear Christmas annual, I think. And by
that point, we're really into law of diminishing returns. But they were, it's just a weird thing
that because it was decided that Top Gear, you know, should be doing more books. And Christmas
is a great time to get books out there. And it was the end of the 2000s. Christmas annuals had
a bit of a comeback as a thing, but sort of more skewed towards grownups. And so
it was decided there should be a Top Gear annual. And this was decided kind of above my pay grade
by people at BBC Books. And I guess, Willman, our executive producer, Andy Willman would have
been involved. But then I had an existing relationship with the publisher at BBC Books.
And so she went, I think we're going to do a Christmas annual, would you be up for that?
And I thought it sounded like really good fun. So that was, it was sort of it. I then just kind of
went away and started working on it. And I did have a bit of help. Willman wrote a couple of
things for it. And a guy called Sam Phillip, who went on to be the script editor of Top Gear and
now the Grand Tour, he did a bunch of stuff. He was a writer at Top Gear magazine at that point.
But the meat of it, for that first one, I was just left to sort of get on with it and then
work with a really good design agency and drawing up all the pages because, you know,
they need a lot of design work. And my theory was that every page should feel different. Or at
least, you know, if it was a different topic, it was a fake advert, and then there'd be some
nonsense about James and then something about Jeremy and then a cartoon. And so it was, it was
lots and lots of fun to put together. And then at the end of it, the then editor of Top Gear
magazine, Michael Harvey, who is brilliant at sequencing magazines and books came in
and reordered the whole thing to make it a lot, a lot better. But it was all, it was quite a rush.
I think that was the one where in the days before sort of really good, fast, reliable,
broadband connections across Europe, the book was being printed in Germany,
and the most reliable way to get all of the files with all of the pages
in them over to Germany in time to be printed, because then they're out to Christmas. If you're
printing a sort of a lot of one book, as lots of people are, you have to book a slaughter to
printer. And if you miss your slot, you're a little bit knackered. So they got a slot booked,
and when we ran it so up to the wire getting that book finished, the quickest and safest way
to make sure it hit the print deadline was for someone with a drive to get on a plane and fly
to Germany. And in my head, at least go and plug the drive into a massive machine and then hit a
big red button, and then books started coming out. I'm not sure exactly like that, but I'd like
to imagine that it was. So it was a bit chaotic. And that first one is the book where if you open
it about in the middle, there's just a blank white page with just a picture of a Dacia Sandero on it,
and it says, good news, the Dacia Sandero is in this book. And that was a last minute panic,
because we were two pages short. And I said, I just fuck it, let's just do this. So it was a
bit of a space filler, but at the same time, it hit the spot because that was the era when that
Dacia Sandero reference was on the TV show quite a lot. So yes, it was good. The weirdest thing
was that none of the presenters had really been paying attention to the idea that we were doing
Christmas annual, and they didn't really have anything to do with that one. And then I got a
message from Jeremy, and he went, I've just seen this Christmas annual. I think that's all the
message said. And I was a bit like, Oh, no, what if he hates it? And he'd seen it because he had a
builder around doing some work on his house after the book had come out. And this guy went and he
signed this and Jeremy was like, what's this? And he took the book off the builder and started
reading it. And then his follow up message went, it's brilliant. And I was like, Oh, thank God
for that. I thought he was going to say how dare you make out that I've made a video called
Everything Explodes. But no, he was he was happy with it. And after that, all three of them wanted
to be more involved, like throwing in ideas and stuff for the for the subsequent ones. But
even so, I think by the time we got to the fourth one, the Christmas one, it was a bit like, well,
we sort of done the annual now, the show isn't supplying enough new material to create pages
from. So even though I worked on that one with a brilliant writer called David Quantic, who's kind
of former music journalist and a very, very funny man, I don't think it quite worked as well as the
first one. But I don't know, I haven't looked at them for ages, I should go back and have a look
and see what I like. But they were great fun to do. The question, Thomas, the process of how they
came about is it was annual seem to be a thing. And it was decided top gear should get in there
because it was absolutely the kind of show that should be doing an annual. And the creative
process was an awful lot of me just sort of sitting there thinking of shite. Right, well,
that's probably enough of that for now. But thank you for your questions, top gear or otherwise.
If you've got a question for us, hello at smithandsniff.com is the email address,
start your subject line with Otisot if you can be bothered. If you've got a question,
just helps us to find them. And we will be back on Monday with a regular show with Johnny. But for
now, good bye.
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