The episode moves from racing updates and sponsor chatter into a meditation on the “sacred kingdom” as an inner voice, drawing on Jesus, Marcus Aurelius, Emerson, Thoreau, Jung, and Rumi. It then widens into a storm aftermath scene where flooding, power loss, and family tension test the characters’ resilience. By the end, the speaker reframes the five labors as a practical toolbox for surviving chaos, not a cure-all, and connects that idea to his own immediate hardship.
The five labors of growth are complete. But before we close the series out JW has one more thing to tell you — the part he hasn’t said yet. These tools won’t fix everything. The world is full of people stomping around in their meat suits leaving wreckage behind them and a subscription to dogmatic belief doesn’t insure their humanity. What the toolbox does is give you a foundation that doesn’t move when those people show up. And they will show up. A man on a plane between Wisconsin and Houston trying to use what he’s been building. Plus a new episode of Duwali Bottoms Texas.
Hurricane Ike has had its say. The Heights is flooded, the generator is pinned under an oak tree, and the power won’t be back for weeks. Tony packs the Martin. He packs the napkin too. Duwali Bottoms is calling.
"I got to go get my butt up early in the morning and get on the airplane to Eau Claire, Wisconsin, and then drive down to Fountain City for World Outlaws races all weekend."
World of Outlaws is a big dirt-track racing series in the U.S. The host is saying they’re traveling to race events for that series.
World of Outlaws is a major U.S. dirt-track racing series. When the host says they’re going for World Outlaws races, they’re referring to the series’ events and the style of competition that comes with it.
"I'm going to be at the World Outlaws Dairyland Showdown Late Model Races. It's a little different Sprint cars. They got a starter."
The Dairyland Showdown is a named dirt-racing event. “Late Model” is the type/class of race car they’ll be running on dirt tracks.
The “Dairyland Showdown” is a specific World of Outlaws event, and “Late Model” refers to a dirt-track car class. Late Models are purpose-built for short-track racing and are typically raced on dirt ovals.
"It's a little different Sprint cars. They got a starter. That's all dirt track."
Sprint cars are a type of dirt-track race car. They’re usually lighter and built for quick, aggressive racing on short tracks.
Sprint cars are a distinct class of dirt-track race cars known for their high power-to-weight and small, lightweight chassis. They’re commonly associated with winged cars and short, intense races on dirt ovals.
"That's all dirt track. Anyways, I'm going up there for the Late Model, the Dairyland Showdown, Late Model races at the Mississippi Thunder Speedway in Fountain City, Wisconsin."
A dirt track is a race course made of dirt instead of pavement. Cars handle differently on dirt, and the surface can change during the event.
“Dirt track” refers to racing on an oval made of dirt (often clay) rather than asphalt. Dirt changes traction and car setup, so drivers and teams tune for sliding, grip changes, and evolving track conditions.
"And a lot of people go, oh, I was going to call Mississippi Thunder. Well, it's because it's on the Mississippi River. That's why."
Mississippi Thunder Speedway is the race track they’re going to. The host explains the “Mississippi” part is because it’s near the Mississippi River.
Mississippi Thunder Speedway is the dirt track venue where the Late Model event is taking place. The host also clarifies the name comes from its location near the Mississippi River.
"I'm really excited. They really enjoyed the long form video I made about I-55 Federated Auto Parts Raceway. If you hadn't got a chance to watch it, it's on YouTube."
That’s the name of a race track. The host is saying he made a video about it and is excited to share more racing content.
This is a specific racing venue the host made a long-form video about. It matters because the episode is discussing dirt-racing content and where it’s happening.
"And there's an old East Texas boy up there running. He's doing real good in points. I call him East Texas boys from New Waverly."
“Points” refers to the season-long scoring system used in racing series to rank drivers based on their finishes. The host says Tyler Herb is doing well in points, meaning he’s high in the standings.
"Close enough. Tyler Herb. They call him Turbo. And Turbo pulled second place last night."
“Turbo” here is just a nickname for the driver Tyler Herb. It’s not talking about a car part in this moment.
“Turbo” is the nickname the host uses for driver Tyler Herb. In this context it’s a personal moniker tied to the driver’s identity in the racing community, not the turbocharger technology.
"... Most powerful man in the world, emperor of Rome, commander of the greatest military force on earth. We've t..."
The Jeep Commander is a larger SUV made by Jeep for carrying people and gear. It’s meant for everyday driving, and some versions can handle rougher conditions better than a typical car. It’s basically a family-focused SUV with optional off-road capability depending on the model.
The Jeep Commander is a mid-size SUV built for family use, with seating for multiple passengers and a focus on versatility. It’s often discussed because it represents Jeep’s approach to combining everyday SUV practicality with available four-wheel-drive capability. In a podcast, it may be mentioned as part of a broader conversation about vehicles that were common in certain eras.
"...e seen some of his stuff on memes. There's a 13th century mystic. He said, possibly the simplest way of al..."
The Buick Century is a mid-size car made by Buick that was designed for everyday driving. It’s the kind of vehicle people might mention because it was common and lasted a long time. In simple terms, it’s a regular family sedan rather than a sports or off-road vehicle.
The Buick Century is a mid-size American sedan that was produced for many years and is known as a practical, family-oriented car. It may come up in a podcast because older, widely used sedans like this often show up in memes, stories, or discussions about everyday vehicles from past decades. The “Century” name is tied to Buick’s long-running line of comfortable, commuter-focused cars.
"You know that. If you don't believe me, come watch me change your ball joints on this avalanche."
Ball joints are parts that help the suspension move smoothly as you steer and drive over bumps. If they wear out, the car can feel loose or make knocking noises, and tires may wear unevenly.
Ball joints are suspension joints that allow controlled movement between the steering knuckle and the suspension arms. When they wear, you can get clunks, vibration, uneven tire wear, and vague steering—often requiring replacement rather than adjustment.
"The neighbor's AC compressor outside his window no longer roared in protest of thermostat. His phone told him it was 822 a.m. when he first opened his eyes and retched for it on the nightstand."
The AC compressor is the main part that makes your air conditioner work. It squeezes the refrigerant so the AC can cool the air. If it stops, the AC won’t cool anymore.
An AC compressor is the pump inside an air-conditioning system that pressurizes the refrigerant so the system can move heat out of your home. When it stops running, you lose cooling and the whole system can feel suddenly “dead.”
"The neighbor's AC compressor outside his window no longer roared in protest of thermostat. His phone told him it was 822 a.m. when he first opened his eyes and retched for it on the nightstand."
A thermostat is the device that decides what temperature you want. It tells the heating or cooling system when to start and stop. If power goes out, it can’t control anything.
A thermostat is the control that senses temperature and tells the HVAC system when to turn on or off. In this segment, the “protest” implies the AC was cycling based on the thermostat’s settings.
"We'll be stuck here for the day, but there's a generator in the garage we can wait out there and get. Won't power the AC, but we can run the fridge and microwave, probably the TV."
A generator is a machine that makes electricity when the power goes out. It helps you run important appliances during an outage.
A generator is a backup power source that produces electricity when the main grid is down. In outages like hurricanes, people use generators to keep essential appliances running until power returns.
Term
AC
"We'll be stuck here for the day, but there's a generator in the garage we can wait out there and get. Won't power the AC, but we can run the fridge and microwave, probably the TV."
AC means air conditioning—the system that keeps a place cool. They’re saying the generator can’t run that cooling, but it can still run some other things.
In car-and-home contexts, AC usually means air conditioning. Here, they’re saying the generator won’t run the home’s cooling system, but it can still power smaller appliances like the fridge and microwave.
"Hell, you're a real Houstonian now done slept through your first hurricane. Tony smiled."
A hurricane is a big, dangerous storm with lots of rain and strong winds. It can flood neighborhoods and knock out power.
A hurricane is a powerful tropical storm that can cause extreme wind, heavy rain, and widespread flooding. The episode uses it as context for why the neighborhood is flooded and why power/air conditioning may be unavailable.
"“Downtown was a sea of churning chocolate running fast towards the low spot of the freeways.”"
Freeways are major highways where cars usually drive fast. When the story mentions a “low spot of the freeways,” it means water tends to pool there.
Freeways are high-speed, limited-access highways designed for fast traffic flow. In flood or storm descriptions, they’re often referenced as the “low spots” where water collects.
Concept
streets are flooded
"We're alright. Powers off and the streets are flooded. We got a treat through the roof but everyone's alright."
When streets are flooded, cars can’t safely drive through the water. It can also cause damage and make it hard to get anywhere.
Flooding turns roads into water-filled hazards, which can stall vehicles, damage electronics, and make driving unsafe or impossible. It also often forces people to avoid certain routes and rely on higher ground.
"I was trying to, I was trying to put together a toolbox... What we've been building here is just the toolbox."
They’re using “toolbox” as a metaphor. It means having a set of useful skills or habits you can use when life gets difficult.
In this segment, “toolbox” is used as a metaphor for a set of practical skills or mindsets you can draw on. It’s not referring to a specific car tool chest, but the idea of having the right tools for the job.
Select text to request an explanation
Are you really digging for peace?
Or is that just a light tail to help you sleep?
Sure that you really want real behind all the stories that go.
Still remembers fire, grass remembers rain.
Every scar tells a story or dial a prank.
Welcome to Reckon Yard.
I'm Jerry Wayne Lungmar. Y'all are presumably still y'all.
All are welcome here in the Church of Internal Combustion.
We just asked that you show up with an open heart.
The collective we, me and y'all, or y'all and me, whichever is more proper,
have created the safe haven for folks with dirty hands and complicated hearts.
Coincidentally, most people I know.
Haven't recorded this one a little early this week.
I don't even know what day it is. That's how I turned around. I am.
It's Wednesday.
I got to go get my butt up early in the morning and get on the airplane
to Eau Claire, Wisconsin, and then drive down to Fountain City
for World Outlaws races all weekend.
I'm going to be at the World Outlaws Dairyland Showdown Late Model Races.
It's a little different Sprint cars. They got a starter.
That's all dirt track.
Anyways, I'm going up there for the Late Model, the Dairyland Showdown,
Late Model races at the Mississippi Thunder Speedway in Fountain City, Wisconsin.
And a lot of people go, oh, I was going to call Mississippi Thunder.
Well, it's because it's on the Mississippi River. That's why.
Not everything labeled Mississippi is a fix to our brethren from the south.
You know who's one of my big sponsors. World Outlaws is one of my big sponsors right now.
I'm really excited. They really enjoyed the long form video I made about I-55 Federated Auto Parts Raceway.
If you hadn't got a chance to watch it, it's on YouTube.
I started a new playlist over there called Something Racing.
It may just be dirt racing, dirt something.
Go check it out, man. It's a cool video.
I spent some time writing it and put a lot of footage together.
I'm really proud of it.
And really looking forward to working with the Late Model side of things this weekend.
So that's going to be a whole new experience as opposed to the Sprint car stuff I normally do.
But I'm psyched about it.
I'm a big fan of late model racing because that's a lot of what we had in Kilgore when I was growing up in Kilgore.
A whole lot of Sprint car stuff going on there because it just wasn't one of their big stops at the time.
But we sure had late model racing every Friday and Saturday night.
And those were the fastest cars we were seeing on the track.
And so they're pretty cool, man.
I really like checking it out. Still very powerful.
Still going to get to see some dirt ripped up.
And there's an old East Texas boy up there running.
He's doing real good in points.
I call him East Texas boys from New Waverly.
Close enough.
Tyler Herb. They call him Turbo.
And Turbo pulled second place last night.
I'm looking forward to seeing what he's going to do up here in Wisconsin.
I'm excited about it.
I also found out in that town there's a house with a 22 ton boulder inside of it.
So I'm going to go check that out because I guess it's a landmark now.
They say you can't get in there to see it, but at least I can drive by.
They had to make a run across the border of Minnesota since they got legal cannabis and a variety of dispensaries over there.
So I'm excited about that too.
Anyways, if you're in the Wisconsin area, you get a chance.
You won't come out to races this weekend and hang out with your old buddy, J.W.
It's the Mississippi Thunder Speedway right there in Fountain City, Wisconsin.
And if you want a discount on tickets, you just put in, when you go to check out online, just put in Woo Jerry.
It really just stands for World Outlaws Jerry, but it makes me laugh every time I say Woo Jerry.
It's W-O-O-J-E-R-R-Y for a discount on your tickets.
Woo, it's a little warm out here in the scene.
It's about 5.30, 6 o'clock in the PM.
That thermometer is saying 85, but that thermometer is a notorious lie.
I don't believe you, you son of a bitch.
Also bringing the wrecking yard to you this week is my good friends over at the Outlaws and Gents Men's Grooming Products.
See this beard? You know why this beard looks so great?
It's because I use their products and I promise you that.
It looks better in the last eight months of using their stuff than it's ever looked in my life.
I couldn't be happier with it.
We took some cool shots with that galaxy and I just got the pictures back.
I'm really psyched about that.
If you want to try your own Outlaws and Gents product, just go to OutlawsandGents.com
and the code is HWJerry and that'll get you a discount on your products.
If that doesn't work before you pay, make sure you write me a comment and I'll make sure it's fixed up for you.
I'm really excited to be partnering with the Outlaws and Gents brand.
It's waited a long time before I picked a beard company to go with because I just didn't like most of them
and I'm really happy to be paired up with this brand.
The owner and I share similar values and he's just about as good a man as I ever met.
I told you, it's Wednesday for me.
Unfortunately, we'll probably not be in the chat because I'm on a plane somewhere between Chicago and Houston
and I'm usually too cheap to pay for Wi-Fi because in my heart of hearts, I'm just a cheap ass old man.
I don't like to add on pricing.
It feels deceptive to me.
I hate it in video games, flights, car rentals, equipment rentals, car sales, just about everywhere.
If I see additional purchases within the app, I generally do not download the app.
Tell me what something costs up front.
The whole damn price.
That's all I want.
I'll make the decision whether or not my need or desire for said thing outweighs that cost.
My buddy Will Lowden, I talk about all the time over here, described me as a kindly curmudgeon and that's square with me.
I can sit with that.
I ain't even mad.
I take care of everything around the house I can take care of.
Well, I didn't get the yard mode.
It's the only thing I felt short on and it's about to rain for two days.
So I know when I get back Sunday, this yard is going to look like a jungle and that's squarely on me.
I might have to do two passes on it once it dries up.
It is springtime in Houston, buddy.
And things as a growing, everything's growing.
Thankfully, my allergy has been given a small break at this point.
We're finishing up our five part series today.
I don't have a clue what I'm going to talk about next week.
Am I right with that?
This was a fun experiment to tackle and I feel pretty good about what I've done with it and my thoughts on it.
Got some other good news last night.
Another publisher has wretched out, wants to publish to all these bottoms and novels.
Why the hell not?
Right? Why the hell not?
Shoot my shot.
Put my James Lee Burk hat on and try to get them published.
I want to publish them, make audio books and hell, I'm all right with that.
I wanted to break into reading audio books.
I guess I'll break into it reading my own damn books.
How about that?
Catch me outside.
How about that?
It's been a bit of a stressful week.
There's a lot going on that I can't talk about yet.
Talk a little more about it later, but can't really go into specifics.
Nothing too bad.
Something I thought was going to play out one way has made a decided turn and is not going to play out that way.
And that's all right.
That's what all this is about.
That's what we talk about, using these tools to determine next steps.
That's what I'm doing.
Got put some new content out this week, couple videos for the racing organization, new rambling on racing,
where I tackled 24 hours of lemons and those guys absolutely loved it.
So really happy with that.
I'm about 18 points into my poetry book.
I need about 50 points for.
So I feel like I'm making good progress there.
And I'm actually really happy with a lot of that work.
Never considered myself much of a poet, but honestly sitting down right and it feels natural to me,
which is an interesting turn of events.
Of course, adding more dates to the calendar.
We just booked a run of shows in Maryland and Connecticut.
Added some shows in Atlanta.
It's going crazy guys.
It's everything I wish for.
Still a little overwhelming, but I'm excited about it.
Went and got my eyeballs checked out today and lo and behold, my eyes have gotten a lot worse.
I knew I was having a problem recently driving at night.
I was having hell reading road signs and even with new contacts in, I just felt like I couldn't see very good.
And my prescription has changed quite a bit in the last year and a half.
I missed my annual exam.
So also she brought up the B word.
She's prescribed me some bifocal glasses.
I'm having to carry these little boogers around just to read anything up close anymore.
It's just the way of the world, you know, shit coming up on B 49 years old this year.
That's just a whisper short of 50.
But I'm feeling pretty good about it.
I cut a whole bunch of the drinking out.
I still have a drink or two on the weekends, but the drinking every night has come to a close.
I've been back in the gym for a few weeks and feeling good.
I'm already dropping pounds just from quitting the drinking, which I knew I would.
The drinking can overpower me.
Makes me make bad food choices late at night.
Cut that out and you find yourself going to bed at a reasonable hour, getting up at a less reasonable hour.
But at least I'm getting the gym early and getting a good workout in.
The last of the five labors is the one we're going to discuss today.
And it's a little more abstract of a concept.
I like to call it the sacred kingdom within yourself.
It's definitely the one that sounds most abstract.
It's the most like something you'd find on a coffee mug and airport gift shop next to scented candles.
Inspirational refrigerator magnets.
The quiet sacred kingdom within yourself.
Sounds nice.
Sounds peaceful.
That actually sounds like something a person says when they've never actually had to sit alone in a room with themselves for very long.
But I've been sitting with this one a while as we built up to it.
And what I've come to understand is that it isn't abstract at all.
It's honestly the most specific thing I think I've ever tried to put into words.
Quiet kingdom.
I keep screwing that up because that's what I was going to name it.
But the sacred kingdom within yourself is voice.
Not a place.
It's not a feeling.
It ain't even a destination you arrive at after enough therapy or enough suffering or enough success to voice.
The one's been running underneath everything your whole life.
One keeping that running tally of the wins and the losses.
And the other voice, the deeper one that's telling the first one, it's more complicated than it looks.
It's a voice I hear in a busy airport when I get still enough.
It's the one I hear on a back porch late at night when the whiskey's good, music is right.
It's the one I've spent most of my life either running from or running so fast I couldn't hear it.
And what I know now that I didn't know for a long time is that voice isn't separate from you.
It's not an enemy, it is you.
It's the most you there is.
If you strip away this mortal body and all its trappings and wrappings, that voice is what's left.
Everything else, the performance, the protection, the persona you show the world, that's the costume.
The voice is that fellow what's wearing it.
Now when I did sit down to research it, and not that I suspected any different,
I found that I'm not the first person to figure this out, not by several thousand years.
A number of great minds, speakers, had something to say about it in some kind of way.
I believe the teachings of Jesus reflect it most directly.
Luke 17, the Pharisees come to him and ask when the kingdom of God is coming.
They're trying to get a military answer out of him, a geographical answer.
A political revolution that'll drive the Romans out and establish God's reign in a visibly earthly sense.
And Jesus looks at them and says, a kingdom of God does not come with observation.
You won't be able to point at it and say, look here, look there, because it's within you.
Now I am trying to push for religion.
Even scholars have argued for centuries about the exact translation of that phrase,
whether he means within or among, whether he's talking about an interior reality or a communal one.
But one of the most respected New Testament scholars argues the Greek word he uses,
intos literally means inside.
And then he says something after that, that stopped most people cold.
He's talking to the Pharisees still, the people who opposed them, the people who are going to have them killed.
And he says, even they have the kingdom within them.
Even the ones who couldn't hear it over the noise of their own certainty.
That kingdom he describes isn't something you build or earn or travel to.
It's a spiritual reality that transforms from the inside out to interplace where you feel safe, connected.
Where you know who you are, you have a place in the world where you discover the inspiration,
put yourself out there and do your best, no matter what anyone else thinks.
It's present tense, it's already there.
Only question is whether you'll ever get quiet enough to find it.
He also says in John 14, do not let your heart speak trouble.
Yeah, do not let your heart speak trouble.
Not as a command to stop feeling as an imitation.
Find a place underneath the feeling that doesn't move.
The sermon on the mount opens with blessed are the poor in spirit, empty of self importance, quite enough inside to receive something.
That's the starting posture for everything else.
Kingdom starts with the interior becoming still.
If you read Marcus Reales, he understood this.
Most powerful man in the world, emperor of Rome, commander of the greatest military force on earth.
We've talked about he kept a private journal.
He never intended anyone to read and wrote to himself about finding peace inside his own chest.
He called it the inner citadel, a place of equanimity.
He learned to live from regardless of what the world was doing outside the walls.
He wrote, I want you to listen to this one carefully.
Nowhere can you find a more peaceful and less busy retreat than in your own soul.
Especially if on close inspection it is filled with ease, which is nothing more than being well ordered.
Treat yourself often to this retreat and be renewed.
People seek retreats in the country by the coast and the mountains.
Marcus Reales, who had more power and more chaos surrounding him than almost any human who ever lived, said,
retreat your looking for as already inside you.
You just gotta go there.
He also wrote, you have power over your mind, not outside events.
Realize this and you will find strength.
And this one, very little is needed to make a happy life.
It is all within yourself and your way of thinking.
That's the man running the Roman Empire, writing notes to himself in the dark, reminding himself the kingdom was already there.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, and this is like the American voice on the subject.
The one that should be closest to home for people like us.
He built his entire philosophy around what he calls self-reliance.
But what he actually meant wasn't the rugged individualism people usually pull from it.
It was something closer to this.
He wrote, nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind and this, to believe your own thought.
To believe that what is true for you and your private heart is true for all men.
That's genius.
The sacred kingdom as Emerson understood it is a place where your own inner conviction lived before the world talks you out of it.
He watched people abandon their deepest knowledge to conform to what was expected of them.
He watched them get smaller and quieter and more agreeable until there was almost nothing left of the original person
and spent the rest of his life arguing against it.
Trust thyself, every heart vibrates to that iron string.
He wrote something I think is the most important thing he ever said on this subject.
The relations of the soul to the divine spirit are so pure that it's profane to seek to interpose health.
You don't need a middle man between you and what's inside you.
Kingdoms direct access always has been.
Henry David Thoreau, I always want to call him Henry Walden Thoreau and I know that's wrong.
Henry Walden Thoreau, Henry David Thoreau did not just write about the inner life.
He went looking for it deliberately.
He builds a cabin at Walden Pond.
He goes out there and lives alone for two years specifically just strip away noise and find out what's underneath.
He said, I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately to front only the essential facts of life
and see if I could not learn what it had to teach and not when I came to die discover that I had not lived.
That's the whole fifth labor right there.
Living deliberately, not by accident, not by the speed or the noise of everybody else's expectations.
By something quieter, something yours.
He also wrote, when we are unhurried and wise, we perceive that only great worthy things have any permanent or absolute existence.
Petty fears and petty pleasures are but the shadow of reality.
Right there, the sacred kingdoms where the real things live, everything else is shadow.
I got into deep water on this one because I went and started reading Carl Jung who I often find myself disagreeing with a great deal of time.
Carl Jung spent his entire career trying to give the entire life a language that psychology could work with.
He called the process of finding the inner self into individuation.
Life-long work becoming who you actually are underneath whatever the world made you.
Not know who your parents want you to be, not who your wounds turned you into, not the performance, the protection of this.
Who you actually are at the center of it.
He said the goal of human existence is to achieve wholeness, not happiness, not success wholeness.
The integration of everything you are including the parts you've been hiding from yourself.
And then he said this, and it's the one I keep coming back to, who looks outside dreams, who looks inside awakes.
Eight words, that's every tool I've tried to give in eight words, pisses me off.
Jung also said until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
That's sacred kingdom from the other direction, the boys you hadn't learned to hear yet.
It isn't silent, it's running everything. You just don't know it's you yet.
He also said people do anything no matter how absurd it is to avoid facing their own souls.
They'll stay half the size they were supposed to be, anything rather than go inside and find out what the hell is actually there, or who.
I know that one personally, I've been that person, been that person long periods of my life.
There's a guy named Rumi, sure you've seen some of his stuff on memes. There's a 13th century mystic.
He said, possibly the simplest way of all, the quieter you become the more you can hear. That's it.
That's the instruction manual, the whole thing, get quiet enough and the damn kingdom will announce itself.
He also wrote, out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there's a field, I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.
That's what I'm talking about, past the score keeping, past the wins and losses column, past the argument about whether it's fair,
past the voice that says you should have done better and that other voice is saying, well you did the best you could, it's more complicated than that.
Past all of it, just the soul lying down in the grass of its own stillness.
He had another great line I love where he said, yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world.
Today I am wise so I'm changing myself.
I wish I knew how to say all this and that short of words like he did because it's pretty awesome.
Everyone of these voices, Jesus, Marcus Aurelius, Emerson, Thoreau, Young, Rumi, coming from completely different centuries and cultures and traditions
and they're all pointing at the same room, different doors but the same room.
And not a one of them says you have to earn your way into it.
Not one of them says it's reserved for the spiritually advanced or the philosophically trained or the people who have suffered enough or succeeded enough.
Everyone of them says it's already there, it's always been there.
The only thing between you and your sacred kingdom is the noise you've agreed to live inside, the noise of other people's opinions, the noise of your own fear,
the noise of the score keeping and the comparison and like I said, the performance of being whoever you decided you needed to be to get through this thing.
Jesus said it doesn't come with the observation, you won't find it by looking outside yourself.
Marcus Aurelius said retreats already in your own soul, Emerson said your own heart already knows.
Thoreau said go get quiet enough to hear it.
Young said look inside and awake.
Rumi said lie down that field past all the noise, they're all saying the same thing.
All these minds from different time periods, they're all saying the same thing.
Stop looking out there for fulfillment, it's in here.
This one's very personal to me right now, it is.
Because this episode, it ain't me standing on a hill already climbed looking back down at you, this is me on the path.
This is me continuing to study trying to improve myself.
Sacred Kingdom within myself is more present now than it's ever been in my life and I'm 48 years old and it took me this long to find it.
For a long time I let so much noise in, fear, distrust, the fake humility.
A broken blueprint for love from my family, the mercy I didn't extend, the walls I built around myself.
I had so much going on I couldn't have found a single Sacred Kingdom with a with a daggum flashlight and a map.
But then over the years things happened and not just one thing, a lot of things.
A woman showed me what love that doesn't quit looks like.
A hospital room taught me what mercy cost.
A phone call with a dear friend helped me recognize for the first time that I was telling a lie.
A nine year old boy sitting in a car on the way home from a psychiatrist learning that telling the truth was dangerous.
And the many, many years it took me to unlearn that.
That's all five, that's all five of the labors.
It's not neat, it's not in order.
But they all happen and somewhere in the middle of all those things they get quieter inside.
But the voice that's keeping the honesty tally, the other voice that says it's more complicated than that.
The one I can hear now in a busy airport when I just need to be alone for a minute that I could have never heard in a bar in my 30s.
It's been there the whole time, I just had to do the work to hear it.
And what tells me now when I'm quiet enough to listen that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, that the work is good, that the people I love are worth every single thing I've given up for them.
That the gifts I was given are not mine to waste or diminish.
It's far more complicated than a win and losses column.
Grace is real and I've received more of it than I damn deserved.
That's the king, it's not a feeling, it's not a destination.
That's a voice that tells you the truth when you finally get quiet enough to listen to it.
Like Jung said about looking outside and dreams and looking inside and awakes, I'm awake, I'm more awake than I've ever been and only took 48 years to get here.
I think it's probably the most important of the five things I've spoken about, the five labors, because you can do all the other four and still miss this one.
You can learn to love and extend mercy and practice real humility and trust and still be so full of noise that you never find the place underneath all of it where the real you is waiting.
Let's go get quiet.
I mean, not forever, and you don't have to go into a cabin for two years.
I mean, if that's your shit, go for it.
You know, one of my favorite albums is the Bonnevere album where the guy that wrote it just went and hid in a cabin in Wisconsin for a year and wrote this album and it's one of my favorite albums.
You just can't get quiet enough to hear what's already in here.
I promise you it's been waiting for you longer than you can even imagine.
It's not as tangible. I can't tell you stories about it, like love, mercy, humility, or trust.
It's the last one because it's only truly possible once you have a grasp on the first four.
It's not a magic switch that's going to make your life work out though.
These are just tools.
I see a lot of these self-help guys and it seems like they're trying to sell everybody a magic eraser or something that they can use to fix everything.
Just don't fix everything.
Having the right tools doesn't ensure that the job ain't going to be a pain in the ass if you worked on anything.
You know that. If you don't believe me, come watch me change your ball joints on this avalanche.
I have a situation right now. I can't speak to in depth though. It's not good.
It's a hit personally and professionally and I'm in the position right this very minute on a plane studying the whole thing in my mind.
I guarantee the guy in me who doesn't care much for growth or labor wants to wage unfettered, unstrategized war.
Just wave a black flag and start hammering against walls regardless of who it affects.
Luckily, the me who has been writing this podcast wants to make sure I've used every tool in the toolbox so that when I declare my enemy,
I tackle the situation with mercy strategy and most importantly with this little voice inside me,
sure that we're doing it for the right reasons.
I ain't telling you you're never going to have to go to war again. I ain't telling you you're never going to have to fight again.
Please don't take me wrong. I think that's the message I'm trying to get out there.
Let's wrap that up right there. It's going to be a little bit of a shorter episode.
For now, let's return to the Wally Bottom's text.
September 13, 2008.
Describing the aftermath of a hurricane feels a preposterous notion to contemplate.
Human beings and most of the other critters and beings that occupy this planet are by and large resistant to change.
It's written into our very coding as a primal directive that change is a great indicator of danger.
Hurricane Ike is to date one of the largest storms to ever slam into a major metropolitan area with winds up to 75 miles per hour over 120 miles from its center.
Accompanied by millions of gallons of seawater that ran up southeast Texas like a shallow bathtub,
20 miles inland in some places reported 12 feet of additional water depth.
A storm the size of San Francisco attacked Texas.
That's a lot of change over the course of a few hours.
Humans and animals alike did not care for it.
Tony Tostin turned as he slipped.
He heard the power cut off once the storm moved into Houston proper about 220 a.m.
I say he heard the power cut off but what he actually heard was a sudden absence.
The absence of the constantly running window units in the old home keeping the heat at bay.
The little wine of the decade old refrigerator in the kitchen.
The neighbor's AC compressor outside his window no longer roared in protest of thermostat.
His phone told him it was 822 a.m. when he first opened his eyes and retched for it on the nightstand.
The napkin that read amber still held its position but still now no longer fluttering for attention.
A layer of sweat seemed to impossibly cover every inch of his body.
He rolled out a bed and shook the sweaty underwear before grabbing fresh clothes from a ragged scratched walnut bureau.
He had rescued from the side of the road before some pick me girl decided to fix it with crackle paint and eBay aspirations.
Dusty was leaning against the kitchen county with a half empty water bottle on his hand staring up at the ceiling that the latex paint distended down like a giant water balloon.
There was a plastic storage bin on the floor beneath it preparation in mind.
Tony looked upwards before speaking.
I feel like that's going to be a problem sooner than later, bro.
Dusty laughed a little too loud and just a little too long.
It might have just been a release.
He took a swig off his water bottle and wiped the moisture from his face with the bottom of his threadbare no effects t-shirt.
You're an observant man, Cordell.
Neighbor's water came down on the roof and caved it in.
Tony looked back to the ceiling and out the small window over the sink that was mostly occupied with oak leaves.
The party could see was a great length of trunk from the massive tree extending to an upended root system the size of a geometro with great clods of multicolored clay hanging from the roots.
The chain link fence between the yards was molded around the trunk of the tree in such a fashion as it almost appeared to have been installed that way.
Before he could speak, Dusty took his convenience store pocket knife and jabbed a hole in the latex balloon.
Immediately water that smelled of attic and insulation began gushing from the hole into the large plastic bin as the stretch paint shrunk and wrinkled back towards the ceiling.
Holy shit, Tony Hollard, while Dusty laughed.
I'm a problem solver, Cordell.
Came through fits of Dusty's giggles.
Help me with this.
Dusty gestured to the very full plastic bin beginning to strain from the pressure of the water and use it was never intended for.
The water from the ceiling a trickle now the two men grabbed aside and lurched to the open back door and out onto the small wooden porch.
The whole backyard had been replaced with a sea of stagnant brown water and so had everyone else's.
When they dumped the bin, Tony straightened up and stared at the flooded neighborhood.
Dusty set the bin back under the trickle in the kitchen, stepped back out on the porch before lighting a camel cigarette and offering Tony his pack.
Bayou came out to banks.
We'll be stuck here for the day, but there's a generator in the garage we can wait out there and get.
Won't power the AC, but we can run the fridge and microwave, probably the TV.
Tony lit one of Dusty's camels before handing the pack back.
Man, this is wild.
I seen it flood back home when the sub being come out of its banks, but never up to the houses.
Dusty sat down in an old wooden chair on the porch and crossed one of his long legs over at the knee and took a drag.
Hell, you're a real Houstonian now done slept through your first hurricane.
Tony smiled.
Man, I don't know how much of Houston I want to experience without air condition.
I got fresh draws on feel like I'm swimming in ball soup already.
Dusty tossed his head back to laugh.
Houston's natural state is moist.
They drew the word out.
I've often wondered why folks stopped here to begin with way back when they should have pushed on the San Antonio.
It's breezier.
He spit before resuming.
You know, Cordell Houston had its biggest population boom in the mid to late 60s after the advent of commercial and residential air condition.
I ought to be a 40 foot statue of Willis Carrier right in the middle of downtown.
He was silent.
And then as an afterthought, that's the man that invented air conditioning.
Tony granted the extra information for his sake at the end there.
Yeah, I figured from the name, brother.
Dusty chuckled love.
Well, hell, I didn't know what they taught in do Wally Paradise.
Tony granted his friend's nickname for his hometown.
Dusty thumped his cigarette out into the water that had taken over the neighborhood.
I think we ought to grab our swimming trunks and sort that generator out.
I got whatever's left of the lawnmower gas to throw in it might give us a couple hours.
Tinking that neighbor with the lifted dodge went to see if they could scare some more up.
Tony flipped his cigarette out in the water and watched it swirl in a small circular eddy around the base of the Magnolia tree off the back porch.
Sounds like a plan, brother.
On the 18th floor, the power was still on when Amber woke up on her couch.
She poured the rest of last night's wine down the sink and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.
She pulled the t-shirt on.
She had discarded the night before and stepped out on the balcony and looked out over her city.
Downtown was a sea of churning chocolate running fast towards the low spot of the freeways.
Upended oaks and snapped ornamental trees floated in the current and places.
A stench filled the air, even 18 floors above as she spotted a displaced brown pelican with its ruddy feathers and massive wings spread out,
wide gliding over the top of the Houston House apartment building.
Good luck, buddy, she said before stepping back into the cool air conditioning of her apartment.
Her stomach growled low and she pulled some of the leftover fajitas from the night before out for a quick bite before she made plans.
She laughed before speaking out loud to the empty apartment.
All plans are on delay until the water drains out of this toilet.
She cackled as she scooped chicken into a tortilla.
The generator plant had been a disaster.
The boys had waited out to the garage to discover it was no longer sitting in the corner.
A tree had floated up and knocked out the lower corner of the garage, leaving the generator pinned on its side beneath a solid several hundred pounds of okra.
Fuck me running, Dusty quietly exclaimed.
That damn thing is full of water now. We are fizz-ucked on that front.
They had made their way back to the house to find Tinker, whose trip had been unsuccessful anyhow.
Tony changed into the dry bridges for the second time that day before joining them on the front porch.
The water had already receded several feet by that point and Tinker informed them that him and the neighbor had made it as far as humble with no closed freeways.
Tony puffed a cigarette as he listened to Tinker's tell when his phone began to ring in the house.
He left his cigarette burning on the edge of a little wire table between the chairs before quickly stepping in the house to grab his phone off the nightstand.
Hey son, you there?
His dad's voice hadn't been in his ear so long it sounded strange to him.
Yeah, I'm here.
Red cleared his throat.
How did you and your friends make out?
We're alright.
Powers off and the streets are flooded.
We got a treat through the roof but everyone's alright.
Tony felt like he was reporting but didn't offer any extra information.
His dad paused a minute.
I've been trying to call all morning but the circuits were busy.
I've been watching everything on the news.
I'm working in Baltimore for a few weeks on a new project.
The line was quiet for a minute before he continued.
I'm glad you're alright though.
You need some money or anything?
Tony laughed inwardly.
Of course his dad thought money would be helpful right now.
Nah, I'm good.
We just don't know how long till the power's back on.
Tony picked at a piece of paint on the door frame.
Red cleared his throat again.
Well, I'm going to be going a few more weeks.
If it's going to take a long time to get the power back up,
you and your roommates are welcome to come stay at the house.
You still got a key, yeah?
Yeah, I still got a key.
I appreciate it.
I actually need to hop off here so we can figure out what to do.
Sure, sure.
Alright, I'll let you go.
Call your pop-off if you get a minute.
They're worried about you.
The line clicked in Tony's ear.
He felt sad, but he wasn't sure why.
No.
He felt like an asshole,
but talking to his father often made him feel that way.
Tony stepped back out on the porch
in time to see Dusty kick the table and curse out loud.
The center pointer says it's going to be weeks.
Get the power back.
And I guarantee your ass we ain't first on the list.
Got to take care of all the rich worms and river oak first.
Tony didn't speak for a minute.
Just stared at Tinker's uncharacteristically deflated mohawk.
Well, that was my dad on the phone.
He's up north on business a few weeks.
Both Tinker and Dusty jerked their heads towards Tony.
Dusty knew more than Tinker,
but they both know Tony didn't speak to his father often
at all.
Tony looked at the floor and his now burn out cigarette
that had fallen from the table
and burned a small charred spot in the wooden floor.
He said we were welcome to stay at the house.
We need a break from all this.
He kicked the cigarette off the porch as he said it
and stared at the receding water.
Dusty looked thoughtful a moment before grinning.
That's a lot to sit on, Cordell.
How's it sit with you?
Tony leaned against the door frame and sucked the tooth.
Well, there's power there.
And he's not there.
That last part came out a bit shaky.
He grinned before saying,
also, I'm dying to hear it.
My papa has to say about Tinker's hair.
All three of them hit the deck on that one,
roaring with laughter.
After it subsided, Dusty lit a joint
and puffed it before handing it to Tinker.
Hell, little do Wally Paradise might be what I need.
Tinker grinned.
What about work?
Dusty laughter.
Hell, I was looking for a job when I found that one, my man.
They all fell out again.
The release was needed when everything else felt incorrect.
Tony hit the joint.
Well, it looks like the water's down enough to make the highway now.
I better leave the rest of this to y'all
so I can throw some stuff together.
Dusty took the joint back.
All right, lightweight.
Go pack your spending that bag
before inhaling deeply.
I'll get my shit together.
He said through a wheezy exhale.
Tinker laughed before reaching for the split.
You ain't give me up there around them rednecks.
Too many of them here for my taste.
My girl's got power on the west side.
As soon as the water's down enough for the doorstop,
I'm headed to her place.
Dusty laughed as Tony stepped back into the house.
He walked into the stifling damp room
and grabbed his guitar case with the Martin.
He didn't grab the tachymine though.
He begins packing a small duffel bag with clean clothes
when his eye locked on the napkin
with the dark hair girl's number on it.
He wasn't sure why,
but he shoved it in his bag too.
Tune in next week for more from Diwali Bottoms, Texas.
Episode five in the can.
Whoopie doopie doo.
Little song I just wrote just now.
Well, shit, let's wrap this thing up.
Oh, I got to do test months.
I forgot to pull them up too.
That's my bad.
John, let me just see what I can find here.
I was in such a hurry trying to get this all written.
Yeah, that playlist I was telling you about, it's just called Dirt.
I'm begging you.
I'm sick of that commercial.
All right, buddy, Spencer White, eight seven four.
This is a testimonial from the last week's party.
Is it worth it, JW?
Is it worth coming out of failure again?
Being a tool I don't see.
We're taking the chance again.
It's worth the pain.
Yeah, it's worth it, man.
The honest answer is you can't get forward without it.
If you're happy where you at, maybe it's not.
But I've had very few times in my life where I was, I felt complete.
Or I felt I was happy where I was at inside.
Let's see.
Oh, buddy, Jacob, all trades.
Man, most of my problems come from being too trusted.
I blame that Catholic upbringing.
Also, that was one of the best of Wally Bottoms episodes yet.
A whole lot of you in this one.
Would love to see this picked up as a TV show.
Yeah, you and me both.
I want to make some things.
I'm going to.
We're just doing the work to get there right now.
Thank you.
J. W. I've been a fan from your stand up in your shorts.
Man, these past few weeks, I have needed this series.
I've sat down and rewatched a few times and each video has hit home.
The added stories of personal experience help.
Boy, Mercy put me in a choco.
Choco being a tree climber the past 18 years, so years.
The blue collar aspect has been a little hard.
Like I've heard it before, but how you lay it out in these videos has been helping me look in.
Understand my labor's love and different types, finding true humility and real mercy.
Brother from one blue collar to another.
I really appreciate the videos and you laying it down how you do.
Keep on keeping on your friendly, cranky tree climber.
Thank you for watching, brother.
I'm glad.
I'm glad you're getting something out of these.
That's all I ever wanted when I put this together.
I was trying to, I was trying to put together a toolbox.
I wish I had.
And it doesn't even mean that even if I had it, I might not have used it.
But if I had it, at least been working towards it.
That's why I.
That's why I want to make sure you understand I want to be straight with you before we close this series out.
These five labor's love, mercy, humility, trust and the sacred kingdom inside yourself.
They are not a magic switch.
I'm not selling you a fix.
There isn't one.
Look, it don't exist.
What we've been building here is just the toolbox.
It's a good one.
Best one I know how to put together.
But a toolbox is only as good as the person using it and the job in front of them.
We've all grabbed the wrong tool for a job.
That's a nightmare.
We've all started something and realized halfway through, we're missing exactly the thing we need.
It doesn't mean the tools are bad.
It just means the work is hard.
It's always been hard.
The tools just make it survivable.
Here's what these five labor's won't do.
They won't stop people from harming you.
They won't make the world less chaotic or more fair.
They won't guarantee that your good faith gets met with good faith on the other side.
This world is full of people stomping around their meat suits completely unaware of the wreckage they're leaving behind.
I've been one completely unconcerned with it.
A subscription to dogmatic belief doesn't ensure their humanity.
Plenty of people never grow.
Plenty of people never will.
It's not cynicism.
It's the job site.
What these labor's will do if you actually do them, if you pick up the tools and use them, instead of just knowing where they are, is give you a foundation that doesn't move or fade away when those people show up.
And they will show up.
They always do.
Love gives you something to stand on.
Mercy keeps you from becoming the thing that hurts you.
Humility tells you the truth about yourself so the world's lies don't land as hard.
Trust, real trust, extended to liberty after everything that tried to burn it out of you.
That's the thing that lets other people in far enough to actually help.
And the sacred kingdom inside yourself is what you come back to when all of it gets loud.
The voice underneath.
The one keeping that tally.
The one that says it's more complicated than wins and losses.
The one that was there before the world got to you and will be there after the noise dies down.
Told you I'm sitting on a plane right now with something hard to deal with.
Something I can't talk about it in full.
And the guy in me who doesn't care much for growing and getting, he wants to go to war.
I know that guy.
He's been running things longer than the other one.
The one who's been building this series has been sitting with all these great minds and what they had to say.
Marcus Reales, Jesus, Rumi, Confucius, Dostoevsky, and a back porch at two o'clock in the morning.
That one wants to make sure I've checked the toolbox before I declare my enemy.
Make sure I'm moving with mercy and strategy and from a place at the kingdom inside me can stand behind.
That's the whole, that's the whole series right there.
Not wisdom from the other side of the river.
There's the man on a plane trying to use what he's been building.
Be aware of other people's limitations.
Use your tools to the best of your knowledge.
Don't expect the work to be easy just because you got the right equipment.
And when someone stomps through your life in their meat suit leaving chaos behind them and they will come back to these five things.
Love, mercy, humility, trust in the sacred kingdom inside yourself where none of that noise can reach you unless you let it.
That's the whole thing.
That's all I got.
I'm rooting for you.
Stay there every week, 100% me.
I'm rooting for you.
I think with the help of good tools you can figure just about anything out.
I'm JW.
I love you.
Thank you guys for sharing your Sunday with me.
I'll be back in the chat next week if I don't make it today.
Love y'all.
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