Two men in a tiny car

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I'm Johnny Smith. I'm Richard Porter. And this is Smith and Smith for podcast in which two friends talk about cars and many other things.

Well, yes, this is a different sort of Smith and Smith, because we're sitting in a multi-story car park in a really small car.

With the level of forward planning for which we're known, we've booked one of the smallest cars you can possibly buy to record this podcast,

because we both happen to be together in...

...in Liefy London.

...although slightly concrete too.

It's very concrete because we're sitting in a corner of the Westfield shopping centre car park in Shepherd's Bush.

So, oh, should I just knock the store in the car?

I've got to say those to an indicator, but they're not...

I've driven this car before and we will go for a drive after we've afforded this and we will probably film it too.

But yeah, I've got time for this car.

I've only driven it very briefly, but it's amusing, isn't it?

And it's so wee, and it's so... because of that, it's really suited to where we are, because, you know, it is busy and cramps in places,

and you don't have to think twice.

Backed this into a bit of a car park, it's not really a space, it's like a hashed out area if I think for motorbikes and there's a scooter here.

It's about to say, should we tell the public that we've parked it in a motorcycle bay, and I thought...

I don't even know if it is a motorcycle bay, I think it's more like...

It's a place that I want anyone to park, but motorcycles go FU Westfield and park here anyway.

And I was backing it in thinking, I hope I can fit this between the pillar and the barrier on the side.

Of course I can. It's tiny.

It's also got a really tight... you know, from slightly above and from the back, it's got all of the proportions of a British bulldog.

Oh, it has.

All of the power and the track width.

Well, from...

Or like a sort of stress toy version of a Citroën DS.

Yes.

Or like a cartoon stress toy.

A tapered bump for DS enthusiasts. Very tapered.

Yeah.

But good.

I mean, I think it's just great. There's so many interesting design features on it.

Yeah. And the quality of it is...

The quality is good.

It feels nicely done.

It doesn't feel like some kind of just, you know, amateur out.

It's all proper but.

Yeah.

And it's also...

For people who don't know, I don't know if people have seen these things, but it's got...

The look of a sort of a modern interpretation of an old bubble car.

Yeah.

To the extent of the whole, the way you're getting it out, the door is the front of the car.

That's right.

You get out that way and that way I'm like...

Yeah.

And it's...

It's a BMW iSeta reborn.

Yes.

Effectively but they probably don't want us to say that because BMW might go...

Hang on.

Is it spoiling their plans to relaunch the iSeta?

Which I don't think they're ever going to come to fruition.

So...

Well, the thing is if they did that, they would have given birth to a good looking car.

Yes.

And that doesn't fall in line with that currently.

And so this is...

I don't think people don't know, it's all electric as well.

And they make a big thing about...

Because it's only little...

It's a little battery so it's perfectly feasible to just charge it off a three-pin.

If you want to, you don't need to start chasing around for rapid charges or anything like that.

I'm not sure if it can rapid charge.

Why would it need to?

I don't think it can because this is the biggest battery and I think it's 10 and a bit kilowatt hours.

Yeah.

But it's just meant for urban living.

Which I suppose plenty of people do.

Do you know, I haven't urban lived for a long time.

Since 2003 was my last stint of urban living.

Really?

Wow.

OK.

2000th grade.

I could see...

There is a very...

It is quite a specific use case, which would be...

I think you have to...

It's a big city.

England, London, Paris, Milan, New York, I could see maybe.

Oh gosh, it would be so cool in New York.

It's a massive pot holes in New York.

This can cope with it because it's not much weight.

True.

It's maybe stuff that falls down pot holes.

Yeah.

That's the thing I was my vivid memory of.

I've never driven in New York City.

But I've been in cars in New York City and it's the pot holes I remember were huge.

But...

I suppose you could swirl around them in this.

Yeah, all are.

But the back end is narrower.

So you'd have to do a tactical swirl of work.

Yeah, yeah.

Because it's actually four wheeled.

People think it's three wheeled but it's actually four.

And they're quite close together.

Like the ice setter, they did a three out of four wheeler.

There we go.

This is four only.

Sliding side, side glass.

Yeah.

Nice and simple that.

Yeah.

Close that because it's really noisy outside.

Yeah.

We've brilliantly parked.

It's just beneath some kind of ducts that some ventilates the Westfield shopping centre.

Yeah.

So you might be able to hear that in the background.

Sorry.

It's just there was the only space we could find.

It's not really a space.

It's like those vertical tractor exhausts that you always see outside.

Fish and chip shops.

And they're dripping there.

Oh, yeah.

Yes, I know.

Any takeaway with an industrial frying wetty?

Yeah.

Sweatiness is being sucked out of your shop.

Congealed.

A lot using the word congealed.

So the other thing about this car that I've found sort of intriguing is that it has a really

surprisingly big boot.

Massive.

Which is weird because you don't think it would.

There's plenty of space up here.

I mean, it's not the most really car, but it's not terrible.

I'm not uncomfortable here.

No, I've got no seat.

Yeah.

It's getting before you if I'm a driver because unlike those old I set it the wheel doesn't

hinge away with the door.

Only a cluster of universal joints.

Yeah.

Which, frankly, always makes me a bit uneasy that you just need one of the UJs to be not entirely

greased up properly.

It feels like you're steering with jam.

Or maybe it would anyway, because it's just so complicated.

You slam the door and it causes the one of the joints to go out of whack.

Or this, the steering is on sort of pod that stays put.

So you just need to shuffle behind the wheel and then your passenger gets in onto this

sort of bench seat, isn't it?

This bench comes from memory.

I think you might be able to move the seat, you might be able to recline it more or lift

it up more.

Oh yeah, I've got a bar on this.

You can move the whole seat set up to and fro.

Okay.

So you can give yourself some more boot space or obviously a bit shorter you can go.

I suppose the obvious alternative to this is a Citroen Ami.

Yeah.

And the fear derivative that you can have.

Oh yes, I haven't seen one in the year.

Are they selling them here yet?

I don't know.

I have never driven a Citroen Ami.

Yeah.

But I find it profoundly annoying car because it's not a car.

Yeah, you don't like them and I'd like to crush them all.

I just think it's stupid.

I cannot imagine the circumstances.

Because I know that apparently if you go down south to France or if you go to Monte Carlo

or any of those sort of, you know, cap for a round there.

Yeah.

Apparently it's rife with Amis because if you're mega-minted and you're just popping down

to buy some groceries, you're not going to get the continental GT drop head out.

Oh, certainly not, you know, some kind of extremely limited-run Ferrari.

That would be stupid.

So you just did a little tender, a little yacht tender-type car.

Well, it's also cheap enough for a lot of those sorts of people that it's like buying a bag for life, really.

Forgotten one.

Yes.

It's a slightly annoying kind of guy.

Oh, I've got a bi-bloody car.

And it kind of looks like it's made of bags for life.

So I walked into town just to go and buy a paper and some jam.

Yeah.

And I can't be bothered to walk home now.

I'm going to the bi-bloody car.

I'll buy one of those Amis.

Yeah.

That'll do it.

Yeah.

That's someone we both know.

Their parents had a house in the south of France.

I know.

You know, they'd done well from south.

I thought they'd have to suffer.

When they came to sell it a few years later, they started weren't using it.

And I've never been there.

But it sounds like it was quite a handsome property with a pool and all sorts of stuff.

So it's appealing to a certain kind of customer.

Yeah.

And apparently the sort of, say, the agency at the moment,

it's taking them all to sell them.

Oh, my problem is because the track to get up here is quite rough and steep.

And some people put off because it means they wouldn't be able to drive one of their super cars up here.

And I was a bit like, surely, if you've got that kind of means,

you've also got a Range Rover or something.

So you just use that when you're coming to the...

I thought they capped on teep house.

Where you just book a tar macker.

I suppose that would be the other option, but they wouldn't look as rustic with it.

So rustic.

So fucking rustic.

You could have some...

Peter, don't make it less fucking rustic.

What about some of that?

You could have some subtle resin poured down.

Oh.

People...

You could do that.

I mean, Americans love a resin tree.

They do.

I have a resin pipe.

Okay.

Don't know.

Anyway, so yeah, this is my cleaner.

I'm finding it interesting.

We're going to go for a little drive afterwards.

But I like that.

It's very weak.

I also kind of like cars that are quite specifically a purpose.

But not so specific like the Annie.

This feels like...

This would do 56 more than that.

Yeah.

So 56.

And I've done it.

You could feasibly drive it to the outer reaches of a big system.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

You would be ill advised to try and take it, say, on the N1.

Yeah.

I'm not sure you're allowed.

No.

We don't need one.

It's technically a caustric cycle.

But it's an L7 caustric cycle.

Yeah.

So it's a higher top speed than the Annie,

which is limited to what?

28.

It's 28.

They do do a 28 more than our version.

But they...

Yeah.

It's not for 16-year-olds in this country.

How much is this one?

This is the toper one.

I can't remember Richard...

Give me a ballpark.

Five billion.

No.

Seven.

No, the ball...

I reviewed this car.

I want to say I reviewed it two years ago now.

Let me just look it up, because...

I don't want to paste them off by getting it entirely alone.

Extra thing that I like about this car.

Like something discovered, I realise I like about this car,

is that it is sold from...

Well, we picked this one up.

But you could buy elsewhere, I think, can you?

Or they have a sold franchise holder.

That's a good question.

But yeah.

We've done our research.

But the place we picked this up from is a...

Well, predominantly motorcycle showroom.

Yeah.

Called Crazy Horse.

They do have other branches, don't they?

Yeah.

But we picked it up from their branch at the end of Kensington High Street,

which keen students of car shits will know as

the old Bistoar showroom.

From back in the day.

Bristol cars.

Now, Bristol cars, it's the whole showroom on the corner

of Kensington High Street right at the end,

to the Sheppard's Bush, Notting Hill End.

And the last time I went into that building was, in fact,

to go and interview Toby Silverton,

the head of Bistoar's back when it was a...

Was it really?

Going concern.

Yeah, I went to drive the fighter for an evo story,

and also to interview Toby Silverton,

the guy who bought the place off of Tony Krug.

And...

That's all Tony's about?

Yeah.

Well, he was a Toby.

A sort of Toby, not Tony.

Yeah.

Okay.

But he bought himself a Tony.

Tony saw it as a Toby.

Yeah.

And he saw it as a Joby.

So he saw it as a...

I don't know where he came from there.

So that game isn't a changer, let's...

Anyway, so...

Adobe.

Adobe, photo shot.

And...

He photoshopped it.

The letters were sent and into Bistoar.

Well, that's it.

I could never find a photo,

where the lights had gone out to say Bistoar.

So, in fact, I think it's just something we made up

and we were writing top gear.

And so I have somewhere on my computer

got a photo that I photoshopped.

But Toby Silverton was in on the gag.

He loved that.

He was like, oh, if it does say something funny,

we leave it for a bit.

That's great.

He also explained.

Yeah, we know a man that bought the...

Oh, it's...

Yes, it's Neil Clifford out of offer

with a Chris Harris plug, isn't it?

Yeah.

And shoes.

And he owns the sign.

And I think he's got them all independently lit.

Yes.

Well, Toby Silverton explained this.

It was one of the reasons why they used to behave

the way they did.

And, you know, a letter or randomly go out

was because, as wide as the front of the showroom,

it was like a circuit par letter.

I mean, he said it was...

It's finished complicated.

And everyone we get into trying to source it out

always just goes...

Too much.

He made it sound like it was practically

like an electricity meter per letter.

And it was all just like, oh,

we forgot to pay the bill on the first R.

So...

That's good.

Yeah, it was a bit of a nightmare, apparently.

So they start at 16995 for the restricted one.

You know the 16-year-old one.

Yeah.

And they go up to 25.

Okay.

So the 25 one has got the biggest battery,

which is 12.5 kilowatt.

So, right.

Hours, which is ten usable, ten of the bit usable.

Yeah.

Which I think does over a hundred mile range.

So, yeah, they started at 17,000.

They got to about 25.

The other thing before we stopped talking about this,

that I was going to say is that I like that it has

just a manual canvas roof hole.

I love it.

Do you want to demonstrate?

It will be louder.

I don't think people listening will know either way.

We could just pretend.

Oh, look at that.

That's so nice.

Here.

Close it again, Johnny.

Well done, yeah.

But he's nice.

It is good.

And that's standard on them because

it was explained to us that that is technically count as

an emergency exit.

It's a shiphead.

If the front door becomes compromised for some reason.

Or you roll it.

Well, you can get that on its side.

Oh, I see.

Yeah.

Is it a crawl space?

Yeah, yeah.

That would make sense.

Yeah.

But yeah, I'm down with it.

Although, I wanted to start.

I just brought my phone here.

I know it looks like I'm not interested in listening to you.

No, it's all right.

I was going to say one more thing that I just

had to make the link at all.

I saw your review of this ages ago.

And I've seen them mentioned elsewhere.

Yeah.

I've seen their logo.

Yeah.

Where they are in micro.

It's horizontal.

Yeah.

It looks like it says M-hife and Crow.

M-crown.

But I certainly realized.

And I was so thick that I hadn't made this connection until I saw

it in their showroom.

There are people who make those little scooters that kids have.

They invented.

Oh, my children have had this company's products.

Yeah.

They invented the small scooter.

Why did I not figure this out before?

So this is made by those small scooter people.

Yeah.

I saw this car at a 2017 Geneva Motor Show.

And I met one of the owners of micro.

It's called Merlin.

And called Merlin, called Merlin.

I feel like you might have mentioned this before.

Yeah.

I think what I'm saying again.

But he was so enthusiastic about it.

And the concept looked wild.

Everyone was crowded around it.

And I was like, oh, you're really going to make this.

He went, yeah.

And it was delayed a lot.

And it was mostly because they wanted the quality.

And the design to not stray far away from the original.

Yeah.

I'm already adamant about getting it right.

Oh.

Speaking of adamant.

Please.

On my way to meet you at the showroom,

that was not best of us anymore.

Yeah.

I walked past a young woman sitting on a bench who was fully dressed as adamant in the 80s.

It was incredible.

What?

You know the dandy high woman, look.

The sort of that jacket, like French Revolution jacket.

Yeah.

Maybe it's jacket, whatever you want to call it.

Same thing.

Less miserable.

Yeah.

All right.

And, yeah.

And not as you didn't have, I didn't see a white stripe under the eyes,

but very made up, very, you know, precisely and beautifully made up.

Yeah.

And I think some sort of things hanging out of the head.

Just adamant.

It was so good.

I thought what I thought was so cool about it was walking through the fringes of Kensington

or something like, if I just glanced at her and not at the other way at cars going past,

this could be 1982.

Again.

So, she was so sort of like this.

Oh, my God.

Maybe she's a time traveler.

Imagine if she is and you could have talked to her, but you didn't.

She really wanted to do that.

I think she wanted to talk to me and go, what's that rectangle you've got in your pocket

one?

Now, this is a phone.

Piss off.

Where's the cord?

All right.

Go and get a coffee.

This is going to say, what?

A coffee from where?

About 19 places within view.

My favourite part of stand and deliver off of adamant inns is the bit where he's talking.

Like, I'm the dendee.

How about in some of the background games?

Oh, really?

It's just a bit too loud.

And I think that while he's doing it this year, I can imagine someone came in onto his mic.

And then he was like, what have I told you?

It was just about going.

Oh, I'm talking.

Too aggressive.

Too high.

Too aggressive.

Yeah.

But I wanted to talk about it because we do write the odd note down.

People say we do script the show.

And they're just liars, big fat swallon liars.

Sorry, I have this overwhelming urge to pip the horn just because it's there.

Do it because it's really...

Oh, it's the ignition start on it.

It doesn't work.

Put your key in the hole.

There's still a hole.

Yeah, there's still a hole.

Which is good.

Don't mind the hole.

And it's got to be nice.

I love the elbow room in here.

Yeah.

I'm actually sitting on naturally close to the side because it just feels like, you know, you should get away from me.

I was just going to try and have a conversation.

But some...

It's okay.

I had a talk of dial two days ago, not one day.

Okay.

It's okay.

Fastest production car in the world.

Oh, yes.

There's some news.

Yang Wang.

Yeah.

So you can't say it's a bigot, you're a tortellini SFC.

Whatever it was called.

Tortu, tortu, Mark.

Tortu, Mark.

Tortu, tortu.

Tortu, tortu, yeah.

Tortu, tortu, tortu.

Carchy or torture, torture.

Tortu, torture.

Tortu, not torture.

Tortu, that's it.

That's all Americans say, tort.

I mean, we've talked about it.

No, I know.

I mean, I've said this before, and I just don't understand it.

It's just T W A T.

Can you not just say, tort?

Tortu, it's so weird.

I don't know, so, it's such a leap.

You go, because also, tortu, tarts.

But America's state says gross, they say grass.

But where does tortu come from?

I'm there, Tarty, highway man. I'm on a round with ribbons. I do some stuff and say stuff.

Because you would see, if you're going to go, you absolute Tarty fall on your ass is wrong.

Oh look what is written on the Suzuki. Is it a Suzuki splash? I'm going to get a video

that I've got to. It's a copper colored Suzuki splash. Oh damn. It's just pulled in but

written on the doors, the bottom of the front doors. It says, Johnny. How long can you

say so? I was thinking about this other day. I said, I'm going to challenge Richard. How

long can he elongate sport? Oh ages because I was going to bring this up actually just down

here. The gear selector, the direction selector, if you like, for this car is just on a panel

by my left knee. And it's just a rotary. You turn it one way for reverse, the other way

for driving and then the middle is in neutral. But also if there's a button within the rotary

that has a little drawing of the car with a rocket on its roof. Oh, but it is labeled.

So is that. Does it actually say sport? Yes, sport. A parallel gives you a little.

Does it give a little horsepower? It does give you an extra hat and try that yet because

we were driving through separate bush and there was no call for it. But we won't talk about

the microlino constantly because that would be informative. When I went in the show and

they said there's been a couple of updates on the car which this demo one is the current one

but they're coming. One thing is certain people in certain regions of the world have asked

for a conditioning. No, I don't give a short you. But what he said is the outlets for the

ventilation which is on the doors in this case, but they're now on a little plod here.

Right. And they've designed their own aircon compressing unit which sits flat under the boot

floor. But you've lost a little bit of boot which outrages me anyway because the boot's amazing.

You don't need the carbon. You don't need the carbon. You don't need the carbon.

With the... Well, I got this.

Don't put it in. No, shut it. Yes, shut it. It's too ugly.

The problem is that if you are stuck in traffic in New York, all London for that matter,

all the hot day. I don't know. Adelaide. Adelaide. Oh, God.

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Raise your hand if you want your nails to look perfect all the time. Me too. I'm Sarah Gibson

Tuttle, the founder of Olive and June. And this is exactly why we created the gel manny system.

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at oliveandjune.com slash DIY gel 20. You'd have to. Do I discover the other day quite by chance

in a really, really arcane way. That's, you know, my defender heritage and the days thing. So yeah,

it's a great song. Defender nerds. They will notice my defender heritage has what is

generally known as the aircon grill. As in, the grill is deeper. It juts forward more on

that year of defenders when they're fitted with air conditioning to make room for the extra rad.

Is that what it is? They just push some nose out. Yeah. Though it couldn't be asked to tool up

for two heritage grills. So all heritage defenders got the aircon grill because they had to fit air

on for Australia because Aussie would not onto it without. Yes. I can believe that. But they were

let's not fit it for the UK because, you know, this is of the end of day's additions. There were three.

This is supposed to be sort of the entry level one. Yeah. So no AC is a weird spec that car out of

the box. You didn't get radio, didn't you? You didn't get radio, but you did get heated seats.

What the hell? But you didn't get air conditioning. But you did get electric windows.

And said remote central locking. Right. But you certainly didn't get carpet.

Very random. Except the original press car, which they accidentally built because

the story was they hadn't marketing or have a hadn't fully settled the UK spec, but they needed

a press car. And so basically it's made up on the production line and went, yeah, okay,

that'll do just yeah, as long as the right color and brake basically the right spec. So the UK press

car was just still out there and someone bought it. Yeah. The UK press car had a sun roof and

carpets. But I think it had air conditioning as well. And then of course the poor press office had

to keep going to journalists go, by the way, just so you know, there's at least three things on

that car are not available to customers with this model. Shit. So what I discovered the other day,

sorry, now I've realised I've gone this very long journey to get to a very uninteresting fact.

That's not like you. No, no, it's not. If you bought a defender heritage in France,

just across the the the channel from us. Yeah. You got air conditioning, but no heated seats.

Right. I just wonder because that's because of the south of France where people, when they're not

using that army, all one of these to sit around Monte Carlo. Yeah. They bought themselves a defender

for going up the track to their other house. This is just filled a little bit of a void that the

smart four two god bless his soul has left. There's a lot of motorhome people that are liking this

apparently. Oh, really? To the point where, oh, crazy horse. Yeah. I've designed a bespoke trailer.

I was going to say before the trailer, you don't want to bugger your motor by no. And silly

questions I should have asked before is this front are where we'll drive. It's rear. I assume

second. Yeah. Yeah. There's no room for any traction control. I don't know if there is traction

There's a lot of USB options. There's a lot of USBs. You could drain the battery faster by

just plugging in several devices. There's two bs there and there's two c's there. So since we've

been a bit carry, I said last week, I would I'd been driving two Porsche's and I thought about

them a can. Yeah. But I've also just had about 10 days in a 911 GTS, the new hybrid one.

Who's at the target? It wasn't the target. It was a coupe, but it was a very to my mind a very

compromised coupe because it had the optional fixed back bucket seats and they are bucket-y.

And I'm afraid to say they are too bucket-y for a non GT car. Yeah. Yeah. In fact,

I mean, I think one of the things about GT3s is that often 911 GT3s are still very usable cars.

Yeah. Surprisingly so given what they're capable of on track. And I would still sort of

go towards comfort seats and use it as much as I could if I had the GT3. That's just me.

I would too. With three point belts. I must have looked at 996 GT3s so they're

because they're still like that's the value version of to get into a GT car of recent times.

And I just thought, actually, you wouldn't be unhappy with that, would you?

No, no, wouldn't be unhappy with it. Yeah, I mean, it's still the cheapest 911 full stop,

isn't it really? No, no, sixes are, yeah. But yeah, I mean, still, it was cheapest relative

when it comes to GT3s, but they're still less or 70, 60 maybe even get you into some of this money.

And also, not one with like the blue wheels and the blue side stripes, I just have it as

down-spec as possible. Yeah. And even look at getting rid of the wing. It's on the road,

you don't really need that. Just have a duct tape on it. Stealth it. I know it sounds cheap

because some people go, what's the point? Yeah, like having a stealth

Adamant costume, but I can't compete really with your Adamant observation or small.

Well, it was just a joyful thing to say. I was really like, that's great. I'd love to have

sort of come on. What's, you know, what's the backstory? Because she was, she was quite a young woman.

So it's like, you clearly wouldn't remember Adamant first time around, but there's something

clearly appeal to her. Now, as I said, 911 GT3s, I would not have it with the, with the fixed

backbuckets because there are a few thousand queries as an option and they just make it and no

back seats as well on this press cut. Yeah, that's a no. Not practical, no. And I love a

practical 911. I love the fact that they are practical but still joyful to drive.

You're getting rid of two USBs there. Yes. One is, people can get in the back

or stuff because that's what people. Yeah. And you want that to be accessible,

unless you're doing track work and you've got a half cage. Yeah. Heroes in a half cage.

Yes. The, the, the TNJ track one. Yeah, it might be because the TNJ, TNJ is really an

TNJ track workers. They, um, that's their thing. They're like, I want to do some track work and

I want to be so many competitive, but I do still need to do other disciplines with the vehicle.

Yeah. Oh, so, and that's where there are TNJ Mutant Ninja School run. Yeah.

There's another thing. Um, it was quite cute. Like, I gave my daughter a little drive in the

Porsche because she was really excited by it. But like, her dropping into this massive bucket

seat and they go, oh, it's very low. Yep. Did you need a couple of like, uh, just, yeah,

it's probably a booster, but it's, it's, yeah, she, she was, she liked it nonetheless.

It's, I mean, it's fast. You've driven them. You drove the target. I drove the target one in

depth. God, it's fast. I know. It's so fast. I mean, too fast. I don't know. The numbers are on

paper comparing it, but that's, it's got to be faster than the 997 turbo. Possibly as

fast as a 991 turbo. I though, I remember when I borrowed a 991 turbo, it was an S thinking

that it had taken a real step up, but this is just, it is bloody fast. Yeah. Yeah. Things have

got too silly that the power struggle is real. Well, that's the thing I just thought. I think

there is a lot of impressive, because the hybrid and it's, and the great pace to point out,

it's hybrid for performance, not economy. Yeah. But I think actually that's sort of

not entirely true, is it? The throttle response is amazing. You know, when you're like,

yes, you're in second gear doing 20 mile an hour, whatever it is, third doing 25, and you've

just gone for it. Yeah. You feel a real surge that you, it's definitely not the engine.

Well, they've been able to go back to a single turbo. Yeah. Quite a big one, I think. And it's

a second blow, isn't it? Because it can also work the other way to, to drive the power into

the battery. Yeah. The charge into the battery. Which I love. But, um, yeah, I think, because

it, because the electric motor can fill in where the lag might be. Yeah. That's right. So you

write, you get that instant throttle response. It's spooky. It's, it's, you see, I think when they say,

always for performance, it's like, yeah, it is for performance, but it's what it is is able to achieve

a certain level of performance without taking a hit on the economy. So it's sort of

this economy as well. But it's, yeah, absolutely. And it still does that thing with my old 997 used to

do. It's on the motorway. It's doing like 33 miles to the gallon, which seems implausible from a,

you know, really fast six and a car, but yeah, there you are. But yeah, just so quick and also spooky,

because although it can't run on battery power alone, did you notice when you borrowed it that

sometimes you just come to a halt and just as you before you actually stop it, shut the engine off.

Oh, no. And you're just sort of coast to a halt. It's quite weird. But I've just, I've lost the

sort of, I've lost the real desire for, you know, 11 though. It's phased away a little bit over

the last couple of years, because I'm just kind of going, but is it better looking the last one?

Is it more desirable than the last one? Yes, there's more technology, but it's wider and heavier and

and I don't want an eye level for luxury. So I don't see that as a draw as much. So I find myself,

I do find myself looking back a little bit. And I don't know if it's just me being a middle-aged person.

When I borrowed the original 992 Carrera S, we found David with it. I mean, that red one with

gold wheels. It was lovely. Oh, yeah. And the one the camera fell off the back of. That's right.

Yeah. And that bloke cycle after us with the camera waving at the top. Yeah. So a Porsche dealer and

I know. What a grind. Incredible. That was such a nice thing to do. Noble Gent. Yeah. But the,

around that time, people go online and they're going too big, they're going too big, and I remember

thinking this doesn't feel too big. It's fine. I mean, it's about the size of a Civic. At the time,

it was the size, I look at that, that was sort of the medium-sized hatchback. It's close to the

size of think to a Civic. And I thought, well, that's fine. Yeah. Weirdly driving this GTS, I did

sometimes go, oh, this is a bit bulky. She asked occasionally, maybe it's because I live in a

place now with narrow streets. But I drove through Carrera S in London, so it's not like it was on,

you know, in Las Vegas. Yeah. But yeah, I did just occasionally just go, oh, it's a bit, it's a bit

junky. Maybe it will be. And I kept thinking about that boxed four litre that I came back from

a little morning last summer. Yeah. That was a good size. That's a narrow. It's a great size.

And it will be glasily slow compared to that GTS that I talked about, but it's about feel not.

It's about feel. I said, yeah, in the final reckoning that because you can't, you know,

there's still making boxes and camels, but you cannot order them. They're just fulfilling

existing orders. That's it now. Got it. Yeah, yeah. But then simultaneously, you're almost,

I'm just basically the week after they announced that the next boxed drink came and will not

as originally planned be just an EV. Good. There's been something they said something that, like I

said, higher ICA models, which I think means you're next to the maybe there will be like

fully three equivalent, but they'll they won't do an entry level entry level, be with me,

would be my reading between the lights. So yeah, in the final reckoning between the GTS,

the side borrowed no back seats and buckets and just actually spec'd in a way that I wouldn't do

versus two seat blocks to four liter. It's the box to four liter every time. Yeah.

A slightly softer four-seat GTS, well, then it's got practicality on its side, but

I mean, it's an incredible car. It's just a, but it's, that's the thing, my abiding memory of it is

blisteringly fast and sort of thinking, but we get some bother with this car. I don't know.

So I, that, that really fast car, the, the yang Wang. Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah. I wanted to,

I was going, I've sort of wrote to myself to contact Marti Rimack about it and just asking

if I thought about it. But I've got another reason to talk to Marti Rimack, which I'll probably

CC him in on Instagram, because I took a small video. And you know, outside the toilets,

it's services. Yeah. Have to ride on cars. Yes. And you know, there's that one that looks like a

Tho Veyron. Oh, yes, there is. Yeah. And it's an open top, which would be this, would that be the

Grand Sport? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Granada Sport. Yes. Granada Sport. Yeah. Granada Sport.

And last night when I went into the services, there was one there. And I was waiting for a friend

my podcast colleague to mock podcast videographer to convert the toilet. So I just turned around by

the Tho Veyron. Yes. And then I've videoed it because I was just, I was just interested in the fake

engine. It's called a Spidey row. I think it's called Spidey row. I've never looked

closely. But then I thought, how much it costs to ride? Because it said contact this payment

to ride. You don't need coins. Oh, is it? It's too quid now. It's fucking too quid. Yeah. Yeah.

It's too quid to ride in a Tho Veyron with two steering wheels. Yes. I don't know why. I guess you

little through two. Well, so there's no arguments. Oh, yeah. Oh, I want to drive, I want to drive,

I want to drive. We're both driving. So there you go. In an unrealistic way, unless it's one of those

street sweepers that's got both. I think it's, you see the name, I think it's given up and made

street sweepers. No, Dricken. I can't remember the last time I saw a two steering wheel switch.

I love a, I do love a two steering wheel. No, no, they look amazing. They look so cool. But they drive

looking down like that, don't they? Because I just got rinsed out of about 14 grand by

foolishly taking my children bowling at a swanky place that also had like a, you know,

other sort of posh amusement arcades with like air hockey and all sorts downstairs. But

everything's contactless down. Of course, the kids are like, can we have a go on this?

Well, yeah, you can. I'm going to leave. Oh, no, it's not fair. We can have another go. Yeah, go on

them. Oh, I really want to do the whack-a-mole. Right. You can do the whack-a-mole. It's the last thing

you're doing. Yeah, but she's got to go on that because she's going to go that, okay, fine. Yeah,

and also she got, she got, she got Chris. I don't have Chris. So we said, Chris, can I have to go on this?

Yes, fine. He's going to go on that, fine. You can go on that and it's like, suddenly it's

like a bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, contactless on every bloody machine in the place. And they won't

go on holiday next year. Well, no, because they're all like three quid-a-go. Yeah, I know.

And some of them are distressingly short amounts of time. They let you stay on them, which is,

I think it's a bit cheeky, but the last fair I won when Tom was the one I was telling you about the

revival, the steam fair. Oh, yes, which had the skid on it, which is really good ride,

and vintage dodgems, original supercar dodgems. Okay, which I went very much like, but yeah, it got

to spend it very quick. I was thought you were going to say that you got into the tiny pretend

variant of services, because when I went to the Lou downstairs, as before we started recording this,

when I came out again, you'd got into a photo booth. Oh, yeah, one of those photo booths.

Yeah, I just sat in it. I don't know what you were in there on your front. I just, I just

thought I can't look at a privacy police, everybody, and then you just closed the curtains.

So it felt like, like, a little bit of sanctuary for five minutes. Yeah, just quite interesting.

There was something, but then it felt like an American toilet door.

Yes, I was going to say, because it's like there's something that you're very exposed to,

because everyone could basically see from halfway down you, they could see you.

Everything, but you can't see them because your face and shoulders are kind.

Do they do? Why is it brought off from next curtain off?

Is it because they think people get up to no good if they do that?

Yeah, it will be. Yeah, but it seems too short.

Well, it's there. Yeah, it should be longer, just down to the waist or something.

So it's because otherwise, yeah, you do feel a bit exposed all the same.

It's on those t-shirts, which a certain guy of a certain physique would wear in the 80s,

which finished. Oh, yeah. So that's a hard look to pay.

What if you combine to that length? Bodyshield and wear a vest, so it's sleeveless.

Shit. I need to say hello to my mate Dave Morgan. You've met Dave. We went for a pint of

Christmas. Yeah. But it's what once you've got to do is sleeveless first.

Well, Dave, bless him. Dave sent me a note the other day and said,

how much did he enjoy listening to podcasts? And then he came up with an inspired,

if slightly niche, merchandise idea for us, which is the Smith and Sniff Anti-Gee-Lay.

Oh, so it's just sleeves. Oh, just sleeves?

I mean, what's more on Brandon than a pair of sleeves?

Oh, and he's a pair of shoes.

He can actually say Smith and Sniff, but also it's just to make a statement about,

but then maybe it could also be sold to people. I think it has to have some kind of back things

that sleeves are joined. Otherwise, you're going to lose one of the sleeves.

Yeah, like those kids with, when your kids are mid-mittons.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm seeing more like a sort of almost like a gunholster slash

bra arrangement across the bang, bandalier, bandalier.

Yeah, and you've just got two sleeves, and then maybe if you bought a G-Lean gone,

shit, my arms are cold. Don't worry. I'll get a Smith and Sniff Anti-Gee-Lay.

What if you can get zippoff sleeves?

You can, can you? I'm pretty sure you can.

I'm like a body warmer type thing.

I'm pretty sure you can see them.

So maybe we could do a G-Lean with quick release sleeves.

I just like that, dear, if you wanted to, you could just wear the sleeves.

Isn't it like those 1920s ladies with the cigarette in the holder with the very long glows?

Silk elbow length gloves. Yeah, yeah. It is a bit, but these are going up to the...

What about the goggles, the shoulder, haven't they? In fact, they've got every elasticated

bits on the shoulder, so they'll slide down, that'd be annoying. Or they're just so puffy

that they stay up over their inner cord. But yeah, just a pair of sleeves, the Smith and Smith

pair of sleeves. So, what about... Well, we'll look into this. Yeah, a pair of sleeves.

Probably old Dave, a, you know, a fee for his idea, but the glasses are very, very brown

brown for us. Well, we are, we are devising some much as we speak. We are. So, we'll have to add

a pair of sleeves. A pair of sleeves. Go to the merchandise people and go, no, just the sleeves.

You don't want the body of the jacket. No. Well, we have to make the jacket as well. Well,

then you're going to have to cut the jacket off and throw it away. Or you could sell it to a

zealot place, wherever you want. Yeah. So, I can't compete with Adam and Adam and woman,

you saw this morning, but on the way to the railway station in Peterborough. I went past a,

a dustbin lorry being driven by a guy who I'm totally convinced was Steven Seagal. He had jet

black definitely fake dyed hair. Okay. In a pony. All right. And he had those very small

streps. Oh, no. Sunglasses. And like a salt bay. Yes. Salt

bay or Matt Leblanc in 2001 or 1999. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Matt Leblanc around that turn of the

millennium. Yeah. Glasses. Yeah. So he looked just like that and he was a heavy set man.

And I thought that's Seagalot. Well, did I just go move to Russia? Yeah. I think he went there

just for like a week. And then we got out of shit. Yeah. I'm staying now. But that's it. Maybe

he's bailed, but he doesn't want an angry pussion to hunt him down. Yeah. So he's just got a job

as a bin man in Peterborough. Yeah. Just check. So just driving the lorry. Yeah. He was in it.

Well, if you're going to become a bin man in Peterborough, I think I would angle for the

lorry driving job. Because then you're not going to get bin juice on you, son. I'm sure you

bin juice is around this. Do they? I'm sure someone listening will know this.

Do they say concerns to drive the lorry? Because it feels unfair if they don't. But the same time

I suppose you've got to have extra qualifications. Yeah. No, I think it's a ranking. It's a job

ranking. Yes. Because nowadays the guy in the lorry also gets out and helps. If there's a busy

terminal. Yeah. Yeah. But they don't ride on the back of the lorry anymore. Are they used to?

No. They haven't done that for a while. Have they? Because I guess it's been just to be

down. I'd love to do this. I know my brother did. I've said this before. He rode on the bed. He

loved it. But he was a bin man. Yeah. He was a bin man for a summer. So yeah. Do you get

loved it? Really? Because it's the smell. It's that sweet bin's juice smell that would trim me off.

Sweet bean juice. That's the sweet bean juice. That's the sweet bean juice. I don't know. I don't

want to hear that sweet bean juice. So I thought, I've seen B-side to Gal on the way here. I'll talk

to Richard about that. Yeah. I mentioned it. And then while I was walking from the

Tobe Station to Crazy Horse in order to collect this cart. A saw, a guy going really fast on a

an e-bike that was no doubt hacked. Oh, was it beeping? No, it wasn't beeping. Apparently those

line bikes I think it is. They beep if you've hacked them. Oh, do they? But some people regard

that as a badge of honor. Well, you look like an outlaw. Yeah. Yeah. All right, hack the bikes.

I don't pay the man for my bicycle. I hacked it. Yeah. So yeah, they're sort of zooming through

high part being being being away. I don't know what it makes. No, I don't. But apparently, yeah,

amongst some people is a badge of honor to make the hacked bike noise. Well, the guy that was on

this bike and it was on one of those bikes. You know, e-bikes are otherwise. It's usually a city thing.

It's about the primary folds. Hence the fact it's got awkwardly small wheels. Yeah. It doesn't

quite check it out for me. Like a slight red flag. High end I. I. Ten. Based model. Yeah. Yeah.

It's tiny little wheels. And he was flying on a small-wheeled awk, slightly awkward bike. And he looked

like a tire downtrodden Ben Affleck. I think sometimes it's wearing an Affleck. It doesn't look

tight. Yeah. But again, I did a double take on it. Is that Ben Affleck? And then, do you know,

the only reason why I didn't think it was Ben Affleck? Because like he would. The only reason.

The only reason I thought it was a Ben Affleck is that he'd have larger wheels on his e-bike.

Because he wouldn't either. Yeah, he would. Because he doesn't need to fold it. Maybe that's why

he looks downtrodden because he bought the wrong e-bike and he's really annoyed. He's pissed off.

He bought it. Matt Damon stitched him up by selling him. Hey, Ben, you're on this. Yeah, great. Thanks

so much. Oh, I don't know. I have $500. Yeah, okay. And he's going, wait, why?

Matt Damon selling this all most new e-bike. Yeah. Because the wheels are too small.

It's got eight inch wheels. Right. I'm going to try and palm this off. I don't know.

Toby McGuire. And see if I can get away with it. And you know, this is reminding me that

celebrity only craigslist should eat us should eat us. But there's a fairly low bar when it comes

to the definition of celebrity. So you will at some point. And I think it's a spectator sport.

Yeah. Us punters can watch as I don't know. Jennifer Lawrence tries to sell a microwave oven to

Timmy Mallet. And we're all just going, oh, God. Mallet's a known hard bargainer.

There's no way he's going to pay $250 for that. It's used. Come on, Lawrence. What are you

playing at? And it's got an American plug on it for fuck's sake. She holds firm. She does.

Because actually she's a pretty county operator. And she's not taking any pictures of the inside.

You know, he's asked what she knows. Actually, she's just cousin. Yeah. Like, you know,

when you get an air bubble in, you're just microwaving some like spaghetti hoops or something

for your kids. And then they they're silly. Oh, and it goes to the same thing. You get a gamy ceiling.

Wow. I've had, um, I don't know if Lawrence was microwaving some soup. I've had it burst.

I've had ministry. And he's down like tights before. Yeah. Yeah. And once they're baked on it,

you don't deal with them within 24 hours. You've got to chill. You've got to chisel.

It's yeah. I was thinking that's you're not supposed to do abrasive things to the inside of the

microwave. Right? No, it's all damaged. It's not I used to clean a microwave that definitely

should have been cleaned earlier. I realized I bought them like the week before.

So they were just did my they were just on the side and the kitchen ready to go in the garage.

It's a set of those very specialist tools that removes the interior door panels of

colors without wrecking clips and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I actually cleaned the worst of the

soiling from a microwave oven. That's just reminding me of something. I have to do it before

I forget because I just heard Matt Pryor on the also car podcast one week in cars. Yeah.

Talking to his caro Steve Cropley about he just mentioned those those he was talking about how

are you going to buy bars that little pry bars. Yeah. And he said that's the thing. If you don't

use them, then you're just going to snap things and you'll regret it. He just took completely

destroying it. But yeah, at the end of the same podcast, Matt just gave us a little shout out.

Oh, thanks. And he was the only just the only other podcast he gave a shout out to someone to say

thanks Matt and hello because I know you listen. We look there are SsG's. I mean Cropley's Cropley's

a motoring journalism institution. Matt Pryor is a very talented chap. Yes. SsG good car taste as

well actually. Yes. Big shout to the Audi A2 in the bar harbittle. Defender. Oh, the deaf as well.

He's like us. He's like a malcom of us. He's like a slightly simeasy twin. Yes.

That goes from defender. Also in that Venn diagram, though, in the middle bits, Hill Manimp.

We both like an imp. We both love it. So yeah, Steve came to because he is

actually Steve of the British Most Museum. He came to my evening with at David's Gate Museum. Yeah,

Andy and Calum. Andy and Calum, yeah. Yeah. So it was like there was actually more

interesting and important people in the audience than they were on stage.

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But I was going to say about those line bikes, not hacked line bikes. But since I saw her

excellent appearance at the Glastonbury Festival, I started following Olivia Rodrigo on Instagram.

Did you know? Yeah, because I think she's really good. She was suggested to me in that weird

way where you go way as sec, because I've probably been talking about Olivia Rodrigo with my wife

after we saw her at Glastonbury. Yeah. And somehow the algorithm has mysteriously carted into

this. Anyway, do you want to follow Olivia Rodrigo? I don't know, I thought that's what I do.

And that was really weird because every time she put up something, it seemed to be her on a line

bike in London. And I was a bit like, she's American. Surely she's left Britain now after Glastonbury.

Turns out her boyfriend is British, so I don't know if she lives here or spends a lot of time here, but

she seems to be constantly posting pictures of her riding a line bike route. Maybe it's a novelty

for her. Well, that is. It's not liberating riding a bike, as long as you don't fall off and get

hit by a car. Yeah, well, she, I don't know where she's from. Is she a West Coast or East Coast?

Because New York is totally on board with all of that. But yeah, because if you're off

from the West Coast, it's been like, everything's too far away. Yeah, well, too far away and yeah,

too, just too close. Cycling in LA, but there will, then it's beach, all of those areas.

Oh, yes. Lots of no-nameful suspension mountain bike, guys. I mean, probably the

or a lot just like concentration. You just, you go to like Venice Beach or Malibu or Santa

Monaco and you rent one of those lethal back pedal brake bikes. Oh my god, and just go up and down

the, you know, the boardwalk or the path on the beach. And that's it. But you make a big fuss

about it, the way that Americans are so people in Los Angeles always going about how they're going

for a hike. And you mean, you just going for a walk on some small hills. You talked about this

avoid it. You're not fucking, they're not doing car, you know, a shackles it. Scar fell

pink. No, exactly. They're not even doing like, you know, snowden and then getting the train

down. They are just going for a gentle walk in some very gentle hills, going hiking.

I mean, should we go hiking? Let's go hiking. And you're like, no, just you want to go for a walk?

There's nothing wrong with saying that. No, calm down. No, because I used to say, maybe I still do.

I haven't really analysed it. But if I go for a run, I'll say a jog. I believe runners now don't

use the term job. The term jogs become almost entirely obsolete, I would say. What would you?

Because there's nothing in between walking and running. It's just running. Jog,

route slow running. I, twice in the last week, weirdly, I have been able to give two different

people some really solid car buying advice. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out.

And that car buying advice was, don't buy a Volvo EX-30. Oh, okay. Two people have raised it

with me and gone, should I. Should I. And I've been able to go emphatically, no. And what's the

reason for this is, firstly, you know, this was a year, probably just over a year ago. Yep. That's

the software on that car. Yep. It was found to be so absolutely dog plot. I've heard this,

that some people are exercising their consumer rights and you're making Volvo buy the cars back off

the suit. And at one point, you couldn't order an XC-30 because they had paused sales

while they sorted out the software. Because this was their cheapest and fastest, because

I did the launch a bit for the late Rachel. I mean, they were saying it's the cheapest and the

fastest. Oh, that's really interesting. And they had done some very fascinating and quite chic

cost-cutting, but I know that the infotainment thing was the question mark. I think they rushed it,

perhaps. But also it seems like it just wasn't thought through in terms of how you get to certain

functions. But yeah, apparently the problem was that then the screens would black out or lock up

or all sorts of aggro now. That, I'd be willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that they've

now been software updates and it's all sorted except. Yeah. And this is more what informed my,

like I said, one of my mates just messaged me and he's looking for a new car at my own, he's looking

for any data at places, any act, but he doesn't need as big a car. And he just out of the blue,

and I'll just get ID3 question mark as a message. And he wrote, he just wrote EX-30 question mark,

talked to me. And so I just wrote back, hard, no. He was like, what? And I was like, yeah, yeah,

but the reason is because in the past month, less than a month, I have seen two people

clearly having trouble operating their EX-30s. Well, like in a car park sitting there just

prodding them. No, well, one was in a car park, one was on the motorway just the other day.

I was following EX-30. It indicated to pull back into the middle lane. Yeah. Clearly they

dabbed the stalk too much so they went, the indicator went on too constant rather than just

the three lane chain flashes. So he then they nudged it so clearly to get it to turn off,

but I must have coincided with it counting so I don't know because this thing is still

stopping another cars. So it merged with the left indicator on suddenly the right indicator went on.

Then the left indicator went on. Then the right indicator went on. And then the left indicator went on

for a while and then everything stopped. And it was like, oh my god. Well, that's immediately

says something about how annoying that car is on a very simple level. Yeah. But prior to that,

I was in a car park and I saw a guy pulling in the EX-30s. I think it's quite a nice looking

little car. Yeah. So it caught my eyes. It is a really good look. Don't see them around so much.

And I was like, as they say, then there's all the chap got out of it. He walked away. He stopped.

He turned around. He went back to it. He realized it wasn't locked. He got something out of his

pockets. He started tapping a car, I think, on a pillar. The car flashed. He walked away.

He went back to it. He tried the door. It didn't seem to be locked or it didn't lock

stuff again. And then he went through a holefaff and he couldn't get it to lock again.

Oh, shit. I would have just thrown one. Well, yeah, because it was only this was in rural whales

as well. So it's been like, dude, now I'm stealing your EX-30s. And they probably wouldn't work to

let them anywhere. Yeah. No one. No one. Yeah. And he was clearly having a very frustrating time

trying to figure out how to get his own cars locked. I think they've not entirely cracked that car

electrically speaking. And so my context to this, my mate who's asking me about this stuff,

he was about to drive his son to University of the Weekend in their enyag.

And just as they were about to go to do quite a long drive up to Sheffield,

the enyag decided to update its software and then shut itself and they couldn't get it to do

anything. They had to cram all of their boys' stuff into their old-shape polo,

along with two adults and their son's younger brother, who was 17. So not that young. Not that young.

And head off to Sheffield in a much smaller car. So all because the enyag,

shut itself. So when I went, EX-30 has some very well documented software problems. He was like,

well, I've had enough of those for last me a lifetime. So no, I wouldn't go anywhere near that hand.

But yeah, I was a bit like, I feel like I've made a difference here. It's like telling someone

to get a lump check down to some of you. I've saved you from having a car that seems to me to

probably be not quite resolved. And I thought I've done it again because they've announced that all

new EX-90s. From now on, it's going to have a whole different... I was just the headline,

I didn't look into this properly, said the computer. I don't know what that means because

there's a bit of improvement in the entertainment. Yeah, now it's operating system.

Yes, but the thing is, they get massively upgraded processor in there, I guess, but also

higher voltage charging system. But clearly, they know that the processor, whatever it is

that is now getting upgraded, is inadequate because if you have an EX-90 already,

they will take it back and upgrade that. They can't give it the faster charging, but they can give it

the better brain. It's clear they released the car without it being ready. I know a school

dad who's been having some issues with the poll star. I can't remember his name. Is it the

three or the four? The three? I just have to borrow it. I'll borrow your three and then a four.

Because it keeps seeing the rent. I've got to do something about it. Software issues is the only

thing that they've criticised. Interesting. Yeah, because I've made somebody had a two for a

couple of years, and he's only got rid of it because of the, in fact, he's the second person I

know who's bought the Abargan Tycan. He used to. I was going to talk to him about the

induction. He was saying about the new induction charging, the Pulsha. Yes, I saw it out.

What I realized after we finished recording that previous podcast, I was like, I know what I wanted

to mention. It was the fact that, you know, when Tycan has just suddenly flooded the second hand

market, because of the lease deals or all the two years, two or three releases came up. Yeah,

they've done an offer on a particular time of lease on this. Yeah, and loads of people have bought

them through their business because basically you, it's the only Porsche you're ever going to be

able to buy legit through business. But of course, a lot of those people that bought those cars

weren't EV savvy people. They were just like, I want a Porsche because I'm the MD of the company.

Yeah, but now I do a sort of one with a tax company car tax advantageous. Yeah, and I think

it was a, I think Porsche got a lot of stick for it unfairly because it's a good car. I heard

a lot of people saying to me, oh yeah, you know, I know someone that had a Tycan, but it wouldn't do

the range that they said it would do. And it didn't do the things I said to you, are they, how are

they driving it? Because they're driving it like an actual Porsche or like any other normal car they'd

had before. They didn't do any research and they realized that they've gone and bought the Turbo S

that does a thousand miles an hour. Yeah. But actually, they haven't gone, oh, in order for it to be

really good EV, some of the time you need to drive differently. Or maybe plug it in every software.

Or maybe plug it in that would help you don't, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I've got two friends that have a

driver here. I've got two friends who have bought second hand Tycans. We're talking like sub 40K

Tycans, and they are both bolder by the value of their purchases. Purchases, yeah. And I am.

One of them as expected is the front such a good spec, it's great. It's the sex tourist one.

Oh, really? Are they under 40 now? He's got his for 42, 43. And it's in a really nice kind of

baby blue pearl metallic color. It is great. It's really nice. They're still because I would be

tempted by one of those. Yeah. We'd want the estate or whatever it was to tour the sport,

tourist management or the other sport. The problem is they are still a bit squeezed inside.

Do you remember we got a lift recently in the back of one? Yeah. And it was not really back there.

I think probably the kids would be all right, but the thing is I've noticed my children keep getting

taller for some reason. What? I'm sure it's a nice talk to it, but yeah, they are getting taller

definitely. So, you know, you should get them to smoke. Because that's a little, okay. Yes,

yeah, fair point. Yeah. Good. Yeah. I was going to talk about Tracy Chapman's fast car, you know.

Okay. Because I heard it the other day, and I thought I know it's a metaphor of a song,

isn't it? It's not really talking about cars. I don't think that's the real thrust of it. It's

one of the songs we have to wait a long time for the really good chorus to arrive. Like time

to answer you. Like I just get a good bit. But then it's sort of by making you wait, you sort of

enjoy it. Oh, yeah, I was going through the build is higher. And it's talking about what the

a gritty story of a working poor woman trying to escape the cycle of poverty. Yes, set to a

folk rock music backdrop. But annoyingly, folk rock, is that I suppose? Well, yes. But

once really annoying is I stumbled across because I was just doing that thing where I thought,

before I talked to Rich about it, I'll just look up whether she's got a car. Tracy Chapman.

Yeah. And whether she's into it. I brought, I, she's going to be one of those people who's either

surprisingly into cars and has like a couple of really nice old muscle cars or something. Or

absolutely not into cars and doesn't drive. Well, she's not into cars. Okay. Right. There we go.

But when you type in, Tracy Chapman fast car lyrics meaning. Yeah. There are so many car

perverty people I've gone. It's definitely a third gen Camaro. Oh, really? Many, yeah, you've got

people. I know there's a B-O-H-G-N-X. Oh, no, it's a... Wait, wait, wait. I think there's a

clue in the lyrics as they're not. Your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder. Now that

immediately makes me think bench front seats. Like, I did. Like this. Yeah. So. Oh, that hadn't

thought about it. So it's, I think it's something old. It could be, it could be a

mobile bar or it's a pickup truck. Yeah, fast fast car. Then you're going to say car fast pickup.

You got a fast pickup. You've got a really swift commercial vehicle. Yeah. You got a fast van.

Yeah, that would work. So she was interviewed about it. And she said, no, it's, it's, I've never

had a fast car. I'm probably never going to own one. I'm not interested. I've got a toy to

Corolla. So what she said. Yeah. Yeah. You've got a car roller. Yeah. Speed. The speed

of fast car like I was drunk. As soon as it speeds the fast felt like I was drunk. So yeah.

Does that imply that does imply a performance car, but with a bench seat. She could have got a Corolla

and then had it mapped well and had some some fast and furious work done on it. Is there an

alternative version of fast car where she just gets a bit bulked down and talking about the car

and not enough about the general sort of circumstance of the protagonist. So yeah. So get to our

place to had a chip, but then also realized I needed to upgrade the sharks. And when you've done

that, you might as well get better tires. And then I thought well, some wheels will pick out

it and it's tracy. You give the point a little bit more. I wanted some more brake pedal going up,

right? So I changed the bus to cylinder and also added some fast track work pads to check

in other sway bars. Thought it'd go out too. I was standing there at the front of it. Before you

know it, you're like, am I talking to an old guy next to me? Next got Corvette. It's a cousin coffee.

And the sun has yet to come up. And here we are. And he's going into great detail about how he

took the muffler off. Oh gosh. And we keep meeting to say about when it's mostly Americans,

I think it's an Americanism. They start the sentence with, it's a funny story that.

Yes. And then they'll go into a story that's it's not actually funny. It's fascinating in

thoughts. It's not funny. Yeah. Yeah. I know someone like that. But you're making a statement

like it's going to be funny. It's like, I wouldn't say to you, I'm about to make you laugh. Wait.

Yeah. Wouldn't do that. It's like, you go, God Jesus, look how Seagull's about to steal that guy

sandwich. Funny story. It was a diner last week. And I saw this, this girl. Seagull. And it was,

but it was kind of gray all over not white. I guess it was just like a young one.

That's not a funny story, isn't it? That's his story. I mean, he's barely a story. It peed

is out there. It's really fizzled up. Yeah. Funny story. Is it, though, can we just get the funny

story on this one? Yeah. Yeah. Funny story. Yeah. I've also been to Austin, Texas. You get,

okay. And you saw a guy running to a glass door, putting his dress as a clown. Yeah. No, nothing.

You just do that. That's the story. You have been to Austin, Texas. He fell through a restaurant

class window with Keringel Faber. Yeah. I must not do it to Americans. Everything's

absolutely and definitely not funny stories like funny story. Yeah. Funny story. I saw someone

getting decapitated by a helicopter in Austin, Texas. God, that's not funny. It's not funny.

I was just following your lead. Do everything you've told me is not funny either.

No, I'm just talking to the auntie a little bit. Yeah. Let's see, you can be the least funny

about our stories. I want to know, I'd like Tracy Chapman to have, I think that she lived in a

rust belt area. So whatever her boyfriend's car was, I think it was quite frilly around the

lower 80s. Yes. I don't know where Tracy Chapman is from, but I'd always imagined that that story

took place in the south. Yeah. Yeah. I've got other lyrics. Do you mind it? Yeah. Do you know,

we haven't got time all the copyright money to do the whole of the lyrics, but, okay. I was,

I'm going to have to look with my path towards and figure out if some of the other things that I

think about that song are accurate or if I've in fact just filled in some gaps that aren't there.

Why doesn't she just say he's got a fast car? It's pretty quick on that sort of thing.

It'll be done quite quick. That's the end of the roster. It's the 60s. It sometimes needs

repairing, but she could still do a really good chorus melody and just to put some extra

details where we're driving, driving and you're okay. It's giving clues. With it's... I remember when

we were driving the cubic inch motor. Oh, wait, hang on, that means it's... Oh, okay. Yeah.

Add a can and filter on it so it's snarled a little bit more than the stock version. Built in

Hampton, Ontario, and he'd go, hey, hang on, he'd built cars there. Shit.

Oh, she's been very mischievous. Really, really teasing us, see a dress, charming.

Right. Well, we should wrap this up. Please follow us. It's incredibly hot in this car, man.

So, before we go, three things to say. First of all, Johnny has a solo YouTube channel

in which he forces the former lead singer of Merillion to amuse

passes by by dressing up as the lone ranger's horse and doing winning and riding in his

hand legs. This is another working title, Silverfish. If that's not to your taste, there is,

of course, the lake break show. What's coming out on it? I don't know. I don't know, hang on,

that is something to look at. There's some stuff about. There's some stuff. Yeah, there'll be a good

car video. Yeah, so yeah, this next one is barn find, but not in a barn. It's a field find,

actually. Back garden in Britain, the full of American cop cars. Oh, that one. Yeah.

I'm looking forward to that. Yeah, so if you certainly felt a buy

on you from the forest, though, which I'm a bit disappointed in, there is some availability.

There's some good ones, you know, there's 10 of them. One of them is a genuine New York taxi.

The other ones are all genuine X cop and detective cars. Oh, the bodily fluids. This has been in

those. I don't know. Anyway, but yeah, still I could lie to anyone, but that's the one for the day.

Second thing I want to tell you is, I've got my first box out. Well, I go buy steel flies by Roy

Lanchester spoof Cold War thriller. It's still available. Met a man the other week. He said he'd

read it twice, which is what the only person in the country. I think he's read it twice apart

from me, and I had to to check the type. And the third thing, as I said, is that he first ever

formula on safety car was a Porsche 911 4. Was it? Yeah, it was the 1973, I think,

Canadian Grand Prix. I've written this down so much. Canadian Grand Prix, so it was in America.

It was in America. There wasn't really a safety car at that point. It wasn't a thing, but the race

was in 73 Canadian Grand Prix. The terrible weather caused several accidents and then it was so

chaotic. They went, Roy, send a car out onto the track to control things. So as a former racing driver,

a local guy called Epi Vitsis, I think, who's a Dutch descent, jumped in this 911 4 and went out.

But unfortunately, race control or whatever constitute to that in those days sends him out in front

of the wrong car. So rather than coming out in front of the leader, he went out into one of somebody

else, caused total chaos because the front runners had no safety car in front of them. So they were

just still going at race pace. He was in a 940. He was basically cock blocking the rest of the pack,

thinking he was in front of the race. I guess there were radios sort of out in a hurry. The whole

thing was total chaos. The extent that when the race finished, it took them quite a long time

of checking and trying to figure out who the actual winner was. Oh my god. 73. All cars

that a road car was sent out to act as a safety car in race. But yeah, it was a Porsche 911 4,

not actually very fast car. No, not very fast. It's just to think things back to us. So Tracy Chapman,

you got a very fast car. Was she turned him down on the first day? Originally designed to be a

Volkswagen. Oh, what's that, what's that Tracy? Well, Tracy always wants to know what the

torque curve is and stuff. It's part of the first day. Yes, because that's it. She knows the

fastest, not just power. No, no, she's wise, that's it. A PC power and real power and control.

Right. Well, that's enough from two men in a very small car, but we'll do this all again next

week. Until then, goodbye. Cheers, mate. Thanks, mate. I actually forgot how to do it.

Hang on. Cheers, mate. Thanks, mate. Bye.

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Two men in a tiny car

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Porsche 911

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Ford Granada

Audi A2

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