The Tappet brothers tackle a variety of quirky automotive questions, including a listener's air conditioning woes and a mysterious ticking noise in a Nissan van. They humorously discuss Y2K compliance at Car Talk Plaza and share amusing anecdotes about car quirks, such as a woman experiencing electric shocks from her Volkswagen Jetta. The episode blends practical advice with light-hearted banter, showcasing the brothers' unique chemistry and comedic style.
Jessica and her mom both drive their VW but every time Jessica goes to start it she gets a shock. Is this some kind of anti-Fahrgvergnugen that only Jessica has to endure, or is their another possible answer? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.
"...ng that NPR pay us in advance for the entire 21st century. If you would be so kind as to forward a check by..."
The Buick Century is a type of car that was made for many years, known for being comfortable and roomy inside. It was popular with families because it was easy to drive and had a lot of space for passengers and luggage. People talk about it because it's a classic American car that many remember fondly.
The Buick Century is a mid-size car that was produced by General Motors from 1936 until 2005. It is known for its comfortable ride and spacious interior, making it a popular choice among families and older drivers. The Century represents a significant part of Buick's history and is often discussed for its blend of classic American styling and practicality.
Car
Nissan XS van
"Okay, I have a 1990 Nissan XS van. Oh, yeah."
The Nissan XS van is a type of vehicle made by Nissan in 1990. It's designed to be useful for families or businesses, offering plenty of space inside.
The Nissan XS van is a model that was produced by Nissan in the early 1990s, known for its practicality and versatility as a family vehicle or for commercial use.
"...but it was a stanza, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. So what's going on? What happened was, about a year ago,..."
The Nissan Stanza is a type of car that was made by Nissan. It was popular for being affordable and dependable.
The Nissan Stanza was a compact car produced by Nissan from the early 1980s to the mid-1990s. It was known for its reliability and practicality, making it a popular choice for budget-conscious buyers.
"...my air conditioning went out, and some guy told me it was going to be like $800,..."
Air conditioning is what makes the inside of the car cool when it's hot outside. Sometimes, it can break and need expensive repairs.
Air conditioning in cars is a system that cools and dehumidifies the air inside the vehicle, making it more comfortable for passengers, especially in hot weather. Repairs can be costly, depending on the issue.
"You could have had a stuck valve. Because of a lack of oil? No, because of dirt."
A stuck valve is when a part of the engine that opens and closes to let air in and out gets stuck. This can happen because of dirt or if the engine isn't taken care of, and it can make a ticking sound.
A stuck valve occurs when a valve in the engine fails to open or close properly, often due to dirt, age, or lack of lubrication. This can lead to engine performance issues and unusual noises, such as ticking.
"or a hydraulic lifter to stick and make that ticking noise."
A hydraulic lifter is a part of the engine that helps the valves open and close smoothly. If it gets stuck, it can make a ticking noise and cause problems with how the engine runs.
A hydraulic lifter is a component in an engine that helps maintain proper valve clearance by automatically adjusting to changes in temperature and pressure. If a hydraulic lifter sticks, it can create a ticking noise and affect engine performance.
"...you wouldn't hear it because you'd be drowned out by the hole in the muffler and the wheel bearings that were bad..."
The muffler is a part of the car that makes it quieter by reducing the noise from the engine. Without it, your car would be much louder when you drive.
A muffler is a component of a vehicle's exhaust system that reduces noise produced by the engine's exhaust gases. It helps to control sound levels and can also affect engine performance.
"...and the wheel bearings that were bad and all the other problems that your car has..."
Wheel bearings are parts that help your car's wheels spin easily. If they're worn out, it can cause noise and make driving less smooth.
Wheel bearings are crucial components that allow the wheels to rotate smoothly with minimal friction. They support the weight of the vehicle and enable the wheels to turn freely.
"...I was due the oil. And you didn't want to throw in that quart and a half that it needed."
Oil is like the blood of the engine; it keeps everything running smoothly and prevents damage. If the oil level is too low, it can cause problems like ticking noises.
Oil lubricates the engine's moving parts, reducing friction and preventing wear. It also helps to cool the engine and keep it clean by carrying away contaminants.
"...you were starving the valve train of its lubrication and you were getting the ticking."
The valve train helps the engine breathe by opening and closing the valves that let air and fuel in and exhaust out. If it doesn't get enough oil, it can make a ticking noise.
The valve train is a component of an internal combustion engine that controls the opening and closing of the engine's valves. It includes parts like camshafts, lifters, and pushrods, and is crucial for proper engine operation.
"...sanctioned stock car races, but a driver that shows up in an MGTD..."
NASCAR is a racing organization that hosts events where cars race on tracks. It's famous for its fast cars and exciting races.
NASCAR, or the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing, is a popular motorsport organization in the United States known for its stock car racing events. It features a series of races on various tracks, emphasizing speed and competition among specially designed vehicles.
"...Well, my brother had a car. He still has the car. It's a Dodge Neon. And the piece that tells how much oil you have..."
The Dodge Neon is a small car that was made by Dodge. It was popular because it was cheap and good for everyday driving.
The Dodge Neon is a compact car that was produced by Dodge from 1994 to 2005. It was known for its affordability and practicality, making it a popular choice among budget-conscious consumers.
"The dipstick broke off. Not the dipstick. There's like a meter in it."
A dipstick is a long, thin tool that you pull out of the engine to check how much oil is inside. It tells you if you need to add more oil to keep the engine running smoothly.
A dipstick is a tool used to measure the level of oil in an engine. It helps ensure that the engine has the proper amount of oil for lubrication and operation.
"...and it threw a rod and made a huge hole in the block. It sure will."
The engine block is the big part of the engine that holds everything together, like the cylinders where the fuel burns. It's really important for how the engine works.
The engine block is the main structure of an engine that houses the cylinders, pistons, and other essential components. It is typically made of cast iron or aluminum and is crucial for the engine's overall integrity and performance.
"...the engine lost all its oil and it threw a rod and made a huge hole in the block. It sure will."
When an engine 'throws a rod', it means a part inside the engine breaks and can cause a lot of damage. This usually happens if the engine doesn't have enough oil or is under too much pressure.
Throwing a rod refers to a failure in the engine where a connecting rod breaks or comes loose, often causing severe damage to the engine block. This typically happens due to lack of lubrication or excessive stress on the engine components.
"It sounds like the pulley is hitting something. The pulley."
A pulley is a round wheel that helps move things around, like belts in a car engine. It helps parts of the engine work together.
A pulley is a wheel on an axle designed to support movement and change of direction of force. In automotive applications, pulleys are often used in conjunction with belts to drive various engine components.
"And buy about a foot and a half of heater hose. Heater hose."
Heater hoses are tubes that carry hot liquid from the engine to the part that heats the inside of the car. They help keep you warm when it's cold outside.
Heater hoses are flexible tubes that carry coolant from the engine to the heater core, allowing the vehicle's heating system to warm the cabin. They are essential for maintaining proper engine temperature and cabin comfort.
"And what it is, is the flywheel hitting the sheet metal inspection cover. The sheet metal inspection cover of the transmission."
A flywheel is a round metal part in a car that helps keep the engine running smoothly. It stores energy and helps the engine start and shift gears more easily.
The flywheel is a mechanical device that stores rotational energy and helps smooth out the power delivery from the engine to the transmission. It plays a crucial role in the operation of manual transmission vehicles, aiding in gear engagement and engine starting.
"The sheet metal inspection cover of the transmission. Okay."
The sheet metal inspection cover is a thin metal piece that protects the transmission and lets you check its condition without taking it apart completely.
The sheet metal inspection cover is a protective component that covers the transmission, allowing for access to inspect or service internal parts without removing the entire transmission. It helps keep dirt and debris out of the transmission housing.
"What I've got is a 1989 Camry. It's a great car."
The 1989 Toyota Camry is a dependable car that many people use for everyday driving. It's known for lasting a long time and being easy to maintain.
The 1989 Toyota Camry is a midsize car known for its reliability and practicality. It was part of the first generation of the Camry, which was introduced to the North American market in 1983.
"...but this is my best bet on it here. Distributor. Distributor cap and wires."
The distributor helps send electricity to the engine's spark plugs at the right time so that the engine can start and run properly.
A distributor is a component in an internal combustion engine that directs the high voltage from the ignition coil to the correct cylinder in the correct firing order. It plays a crucial role in ensuring the engine runs smoothly and efficiently.
"The rotor. Don't like it. I don't like that idea."
The rotor spins inside the distributor and helps send electricity to the right part of the engine so it can ignite the fuel and air mixture.
The rotor is a rotating component inside the distributor that transfers electrical current from the ignition coil to the appropriate terminal on the distributor cap. It plays a key role in the timing of the ignition system.
"...the cap and the rotor and the spark plug wires."
Spark plug wires are like electrical cords that connect the battery to the spark plugs in the engine. They help the engine start and keep it running.
Spark plug wires carry the electrical current from the ignition coil to the spark plugs. They are essential for the ignition system to function properly, ensuring that the engine starts and runs smoothly.
"...I have a 1992 Volkswagen Jetta. And I inherited it from my mother at the beginning of this year."
The Volkswagen Jetta is a small car that many people use for everyday driving. The 1992 version is known for being reliable and practical.
The Volkswagen Jetta is a compact car that has been in production since 1979. The 1992 model is part of the second generation, known for its practicality and reliability.
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Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack, the Tappard brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the readiness division here at Car Talk Plaza.
Yes, we are. We got this letter the other day from a guy named Steve Yasko, Programming Operations Manager at National Public Radio.
Dear Mr. Berman, we need your help.
NPR is comprehensively assessing all its systems and equipment and programming to ensure that Y2K will not bring any problems or surprises.
As part of the survey, we need information about Car Talk's Y2K preparation and readiness.
Right.
Hugh Lewis Dewey, the Chief Counsel. I have a copy here. Answered, Mr. Yasko. Here it is.
Mr. Steve Yasko, Programming Operations Manager at NPR, 635 MSM.
Dear Steve, you'll be happy to know that as of today, Car Talk has been declared completely Y2K compliant.
I didn't even know this.
Oh, I know.
Here are the areas which have been tested and approved for Y2K compatibility at Car Talk Plaza.
Banking. As you know, the Car Talk Capital Depreciation Fund guarantees a 50% of a person's investment.
As such, should our clients' balances…
Which is better, I might add, than most of the mutual funds I've ever invested in.
Should our clients' balances suddenly show zero on January 1st, they will simply be delighted that we have exceeded their expectations
and achieved not just a 50% return of their investment, but a full 100% depreciation.
Electricity. Since the lights and computers only serve as an annoyance during the workday and get in the way of an otherwise relaxing work experience for our employees,
the lack of lighting and electricity should not in any way alter our normal productivity.
The only electrical concern would be air conditioning, but since January 1st usually falls on or around January 1st,
we don't anticipate that being a problem either.
No.
Payroll.
We do anticipate a possible disruption of payroll services, so we are requesting that NPR pay us in advance for the entire 21st century.
If you would be so kind as to forward a check by December 1st, we can cross this little issue off our list,
and if we get it by December 1st, we can cash it before the Y2K problem kicks in.
Broadcast services. In what has proven to be a wise and insightful decision, our home station WBUR in Boston
has opted not to upgrade its broadcast equipment during the last four to six decades.
We have checked with the manufacturers of this equipment, the Acme String Company and Dixie Cup Incorporated,
and both companies have assured us that our broadcast equipment will continue to function as is with no Y2K repercussions.
See, it's always good to not be on top of the technology.
Stay away from the cutting edge.
Should you have any further questions, please contact our Millennium Planning Manager, Vera Faroff.
Vera.
Very Faroff.
Here at Contact Glass Sincelios, Hulu is doing chief counsel.
Do we cheat him and how?
It's good to know that you have people like this in the background.
See, people think we're just two jimokes on the radio.
I mean.
We have a staff here that is working on things like Y2K compliance.
I think this is the only thing that Hulu is doing.
Yulu's Dewey has ever done.
I've never seen a letter by him before.
No.
I think it's a fake.
Yeah, but who would have done it?
Somebody.
Somebody.
Well, if you'd like to call us and hear us fake our way through a couple of answers,
our number is 1-888-CAR-TALK.
That's 888-CAR-TALK.
That's 888-227-8255.
Hello, you're on CAR-TALK.
Hello, this is Belinda from Detroit.
Hi, Belinda.
Belinda.
What's going on in Detroit?
In Motor City.
Nothing.
So what's going on?
What do you need from us?
Okay, I have a 1990 Nissan XS van.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they don't need them anymore.
Yeah, I think they call those XS for a while.
They didn't make that for very long.
They made that for one year.
Exactly, but it's a wonderful van.
How can they do that?
Well, it was a stanza.
Was it?
It was a stanza, and they put this other name on it.
They put a body on it.
How many of those must they have left over?
How many bodies?
It was the smoke and mirrors thing.
Maybe they put a sliding door or something,
but it was a stanza, I'm pretty sure.
Yeah.
So what's going on?
What happened was, about a year ago,
my air conditioning went out,
and some guy told me it was going to be like $800,
and I said forget it because it was an old car.
Well, this year my window wouldn't go up,
so I had that repaired,
and the guy said he could repair my air for 103.
He did.
I had air.
About a week later.
You had no air?
I still have air.
I got this ticking.
Like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
Sometimes it would tick when the air was on,
and it would tick when the air was off.
It would tick sometimes when you turned it,
you know, first start at the car.
Sometimes it wouldn't click when you first started the car.
And when the ticking was there,
did it get faster as you revved up the engine?
No.
Are you sure?
Belinda, are you absolutely sure of that?
No, I'm not.
I'm absolutely sure of anything.
No, neither are we.
Okay, when I met a stoplight,
yeah, it was a slower tick.
And as you started...
As you started to move, it ticked a little faster.
It got faster, yeah.
Okay.
But yesterday I got an oil change,
and it ticked when I first started it up
after the oil was changed.
It hasn't ticked since.
My tick is going to come back.
Well, interesting.
You could have had a stuck valve.
Because of a lack of oil?
No, because of dirt.
Old age.
Inattention.
Any number of things could cause a valve to stick
or a hydraulic lifter to stick and make that ticking noise,
which would be very regular.
Extremely regular.
There would be no...
There would be no mistaking its regularity.
For example, if one valve was stuck
or one lifter would not pump up correctly,
if the engine were running at idle,
you would get a tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
It would be that regular and it would never be anything but that regular.
At idle.
And then as you increase the engine speed,
of course it would increase commensurately
until at some point you were driving at 30 miles an hour
and you wouldn't hear it
because you'd be drowned out by the hole in the muffler
and the wheel bearings that were bad
and all the other problems that your car has
and you wouldn't hear the ticking anymore.
Okay.
I wouldn't be worried about it.
If it hasn't come back, I would ignore it.
I mean, there is always the possibility
that it's not related to this at all,
and it will come back.
But it probably is not related at all
to the air conditioning job.
Okay.
No.
You know what the other possibility is?
You were low on oil when you went to get it changed.
Yes, I was.
Oh.
Because I was due the oil.
And you didn't want to throw in that quart and a half that it needed.
Oh, I never put oil in my car.
Ah, you just go...
And if you were low on oil, that could cause the ticking too.
Okay.
You were starving the valve train of its lubrication
and you were getting the ticking.
You were filled up.
You may notice that the next time it begins ticking...
It's time for the oil change.
It's time for the oil change.
That may be the signal.
Oh.
I love it.
That's better than looking at the little tag on the windshield.
You hear the noise?
Listen for the tick.
And just listen and it'll mean time for an oil change.
Time for an oil change.
Time for an oil change.
Good luck, Bolinda.
Okay.
Thanks, Mike.
Thanks for your call.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
Remember when that great company General Motors
tried to convince the American public
that the pinging sound that they were hearing
was the sound of economy?
Yes.
Can you imagine that they even attempted to do that?
Well, don't forget.
How low can you...
All the automotive companies have managed to sell
all of their products and pinging is a product.
Yeah.
No other car had it.
With clever advertising.
No other car had it.
I mean, it's not just the automotive companies.
Everyone sells everything with clever and...
I mean, can you just see the meeting that took place?
They must have first had an engineering meeting
at which they said, can we fix it?
And the answer is not without great expense.
So the next meeting they had was with the advertising...
And the duplicity department.
The duplicity department.
And the duplicity department said, look,
is there anything good about this?
And they went through all the things that might be good.
And they found one.
And they found one.
Better fuel economy.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe.
The fact that the engine is blowing itself apart,
burning holes in the pistons.
No.
Don't worry about it.
The warranty will be over before we ever have to give them a new engine.
Exactly.
So they came up with the slogan, the sound of economy.
How embarrassed...
When they go to the pearly gates,
whoever made that decision,
St. Peter is going to say, the sound of economy.
Now, really?
You think you're getting in here?
Mr. Smith.
We'll see.
Okay, now, Tommy, do you remember last week's puzzle?
Do I?
Come on.
I can't say that I do, actually.
Well, it's the famous cleave sanction puzzle.
And we'll be discussing it in just a minute.
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Hey, for you, T-shirt wearers out there,
all relatives of T-shirt wearers,
we just got a veritable shipload,
with a P of new cart talk T-shirts
at the Shameless Commerce Division.
The folks there made a great series of T-shirts
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So in addition to the classics,
you know, don't drive like my brother,
do-it-cheat-them-in-how,
you can now get cart talk T-shirts that say, for instance,
if money can fix it, it's not a problem.
Life is too short to drive boring cars.
Do it while you're young.
You may never have a chance to do anything this stupid again.
You may often astonish this theory
of happiness equals reality minus expectation.
How about this one?
Lousy car advice since 1977,
and many, many more.
If you'd like one or want one to ship to a friend or relative,
you don't really like, just head over to
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Hi, we're back.
You're listening to Car Talk with us,
back to Tapper Brothers,
and we're here to talk about Cars Car Repair
and the famous cleave sanctioned puzzler.
Now, we first gave this puzzle, I guess,
a few weeks ago,
and because it called for quite a bit of creativity,
we've given people extra weeks
to come up with an answer,
and most of those people that we're talking about are us.
And we haven't done it.
Well, we haven't really been working on it that much,
and we're counting on our listeners,
and we will, like I said,
when we get all the answers in front of us,
we'll be able to weed out the bogus ones
and come up with a list that we think is the best,
and then we can listen to all the people
complaining that there should be additions or deletions.
Yeah, so what is the puzzler?
What's about antonyms?
You know, happy, sad, left and right,
my brother and reasonable human being.
And we told you that there were at least two words
that we know of,
and of course, we assume many more,
that are their own antonyms.
Yeah.
Okay?
The first one is cleave.
You cleave things apart where they cleaver,
on my brother's hand cleaves to the last burger
before anyone else in the family can grab it.
And the other word is sanction.
NASCAR sanctioned stock car races,
but a driver that shows up in an MGTD
may be sanctioned by NASCAR.
And the question is,
how many other words in the English language
are they like this?
And what are they?
We don't want numbers for answers like seven.
We want the words themselves,
and we think there are ten such words.
Well, I think there's either one more.
Or none.
Or five thousand.
So we don't have a winner this week,
but we would invite you to participate via our website,
you know, email, or by snail mail,
and try to give us a list.
Yeah, we want a list.
We'll decide who the winner is,
and it may not be until the end of the summer
that we have a winner.
That could well be.
It could well be.
It may take us that long to determine.
Don't forget, I think we're going to get a list
with hundreds and hundreds of submissions.
And then we'll have to fact check all of them.
Exactly.
To make sure that they are true,
and we will use the OED, of course,
as the one and only expert.
Of course.
Yeah.
In the meantime, we'll take your calls
at 1-888-CAR-TALK.
That's 888-227-8255, a lawyer on CAR-TALK.
This is Dan from Owenton, Kentucky.
Hi, Dan from Owenton, huh?
Owenton, yeah.
Owenton, Kentucky.
I don't know where Owenton, Kentucky is,
but I'll take your word for it that there is such a place.
Yeah, it's about half an hour from Frankfurt.
Frankfurt, which happens to be the capital.
I would have to be the capital from seventh grade.
And isn't that good that you remember that?
That's been very useful to you in your life, has it not?
I mean, how many times have people asked you
what's the capital of Kentucky?
Just the other day, some guy stuck a gun in my ribs
and said, either give me all your money
or tell me the capital of Kentucky.
Yeah.
And I knew it.
And you said Louisville.
So I said Louisville and he took my money.
That's how I know it's Frankfurt.
So what's up, Dan?
Well, my brother had a car.
He still has the car.
It's a Dodge Neon.
And the piece that tells how much oil you have
and whether or not your oil broke
and all the oil spewed out of the engine.
The dipstick broke off.
Not the dipstick.
There's like a meter in it.
It lights up a little bit.
Oh, the oil pressure switch.
Yeah.
Oh, bummer.
Anyway, it broke.
And then the engine lost all its oil
and it threw a rod and made a huge hole in the block.
It sure will.
So he bought a new engine and we put it in.
And everything was supposed to be great.
He bought the engine and they told him,
oh, this has only got 5,000 miles on it.
It's going to be a great engine.
So we got it.
So it wasn't from a junkyard or something.
It was from an auto salvage shop or something.
Yeah, a wrecking yard or some such place.
Yeah.
So we hooked it up and we got it running.
And it runs great.
It does everything great.
But there's like this noise,
like something's caught or rubbing or something,
like yin, yin, yin, yin, yin, yin, yin.
And it makes this noise all the time that it's running.
All the time that it's running.
Mm-hmm.
And we were listening around
and I thought it was coming from where the injectors are.
But it, in fact, is coming lower on the engine
down towards the oil filter.
It's not likely that it's inside the engine.
Okay.
In my humble opinion.
Me too.
It sounds like the pulley is hitting something.
The pulley.
Like one of the belts or something like that.
Here's what you do.
Go down to the pot store where they must know you by first name now.
Yeah.
And buy about a foot and a half of heater hose.
Heater hose.
Stick one end of it in your ear.
I like vacuum hose better.
You do.
Vacuum hose.
Well, I like heater hose because it's,
you need bolt actually.
All right.
One is broadband and one is narrow casting.
Right.
Both of these hoses at this part store.
Oh, they'll have.
They'll have, yeah.
All right.
My two feet of each one is going to cost you a couple of bucks.
All right.
Yeah.
One of the big holes in your ear.
Uh-huh.
And you, with the engine running,
be very careful not to chop off fingers.
Chop off fingers.
Why you do this.
But you want to put the other end of the hose down near the engine
and wait until the sound gets louder and louder
as you move that hose around.
All right.
And you'll find, it's pretty easy to tell,
even though it seems impossible.
It's when you get to the point where the noise is really coming from,
it'll be really loud.
Okay.
And you'll say, uh-huh, it's down there.
Then if you still need to hone in on it more,
you take the vacuum hose,
which actually fits very nicely in the ear.
It sure does.
You can do this with only one hand
because you can just stuff it right in there.
You know?
And then you'll have both hands free to chop off fingers.
And you will be able to identify the source of this sound
within inches.
Well, I was going to suggest that you take the fan belt off
and see if the sound goes away for one thing.
First of all, see if the sound goes away
because you may be able to find out that it's one of the accessories,
like the alternator that's making the noise.
If the sound, however, does not go away,
you are then free to probe around with this vacuum hose stethoscope
without the risk of losing fingers.
But I think you're going to find out
that the noise is exactly at the opposite end of the engine.
And what it is, is the flywheel hitting the sheet metal inspection cover.
The sheet metal inspection cover of the transmission.
Okay.
And there's a little piece of thin piece of sheet metal
that goes on the back of the motor
that you must have taken off.
Yeah, we probably did.
If you didn't and took the one from the junkyard,
it was probably bent.
And as the engine turns, the flywheel is hitting this thing
and making this very annoying noise.
Yeah.
And you may be able to, with the engine running,
get this out of the way enough or push it to change the noise
and then you'll say, ha, ha, ha.
That's what it is.
But do Tommy's test first and then go with,
when you hear nothing at the front of the engine,
go to the back of the engine where it bolts up to the transmission
and that's where the noise is going to be.
Okay, so go with the heater hose and the vacuum.
Yeah, yeah.
From your description of the noise,
it didn't sound like it was metallic.
No, no.
And you've driven the car, though.
Yeah, it runs fine.
It runs great and everything.
It's just, what if it blows up this engine
and the engine doesn't bind up?
He won't.
He won't.
Alternatively, you could go to a repair shop
and ask them to put it on the lift
and let them figure it out.
No, no.
The hose that the scope will tell all.
The hose.
Dan wants to figure it out.
Dan's come this far.
He wants to figure it out himself.
I mean, these guys, he and his brother
have taken the damn engine out
and put another one in and it runs.
I mean, and obviously,
Dan doesn't have a clue as to what he's doing.
Obviously.
And this is a tremendous feat.
In my opinion.
And don't mind us.
You must solve.
I'm sorry.
I apologize profusely.
Of course.
You can't let him.
Whatever it takes to solve this,
you must do, Dan.
All right.
Don't go anywhere.
Don't go anywhere.
Solve the problem in your driveway.
Good luck and we applaud your courage.
Yeah.
Good for you, man.
Good for you.
Yeah.
I know he's going to beat me down
if I break something to the car.
No, no.
Don't worry.
You're not going to break anything.
Wait, no.
Is this brother an older brother
or younger brother?
Older brother.
Older brother.
Well, you're going to show him a little something.
You're going to bring it out of oil?
Technically, yeah.
Yeah, I thought so.
It was his car.
It was his car when the oil ran out.
Yeah, yeah.
You'll fix it for him.
All right.
Good luck, Dan.
Good luck.
See you later.
Yep.
Call us back.
We need help.
All right.
We're here to help, brother.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
There's a lot more stuff coming up
right after the following messages
so stick around.
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Hey, for you T-shirt wearers out there
or relatives of T-shirt wearers,
we just got a veritable ship line
that's shipload with a P of new cart-talk T-shirts
at the Shameless Commerce Division.
The folks there made a great series of T-shirts
out of their favorite cart-talk quotes.
So in addition to the classics, you know,
don't drive like my brother, do-it-cheat-him-in-how,
you can now get cart-talk T-shirts that say, for instance,
if money can fix it, it's not a problem.
Life is too short to drive boring cars.
Do it while you're young.
You may never have a chance to do anything this stupid again.
Reality often astonishes theory
or happiness equals reality minus expectation.
How about this one?
Lousy Car Advice since 1977.
And many, many more.
If you'd like one or want one to ship to a friend or relative,
you don't really like, just head over to ShamelessCommerce.com.
That's ShamelessCommerce.com.
We're back.
If you're listening to car talk with us,
click-and-clack the Tapper Brothers,
and we're here to discuss cars, car repair,
and the not-the-new puzzler.
No, no, no, the puzzler is now officially,
and finally I might add, on summer vacations.
And a well-deserved vacation it is.
As you may know, if you've listened for a while,
every summer we send the puzzler on a short break
in the hope that it might come back renewed,
refreshed, and a little bit less lousy.
Of course, it's never worked.
But hey, there's always hope, and maybe it'll work this time.
And here's how you can help.
If you have a puzzler you think we can use in the fall,
and it does not involve liars, truth tellers, what else?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you send anything.
We don't care.
You send anything in your wand.
The address is Car Talk Plaza,
Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge,
Our Fair City, 02238.
Attention, puzzler department.
Yes, potential.
Potential puzzler department.
Puzzle department.
PPD.
Or email me or puzzler suggestion
from the Car Talk section of Cars.com
and don't forget to include the answer.
Remember, we ain't that smart.
And if you find yourself in desperate need
of a puzzler this summer,
we have a whole book of our best puzzlers
that you can actually buy either at your local bookstore.
It's called A Haircut in Horsetown
and other great Car Talk puzzlers.
What a great title, huh?
Or if you're a cheapskate
and you don't want to help put my kid brother
through college,
you can just go to the Car Talk section
of Cars.com every week
and we'll select and post a single puzzler
from our vast puzzler archives.
It's not that vast.
It's certainly not about half the size
we thought it was.
It's half vast.
Yes, I thought so.
She liked to call us the numbers
1-888-CAR TALK
that's 888-2278-25.
Hello, you're on Car Talk.
Hello, this is Maureen in Fairfax, Virginia.
Hi, Maureen.
Maureen, how are you?
I'm fine.
Thank you.
Oh, we're too bad.
We're doing great things.
Good.
What's up?
What I've got is a 1989 Camry.
It's a great car.
It's got 272,000 miles on,
but it's developed a strange problem.
It started maybe as long as 18 months ago
and my mechanic was able to get rid of it
for four or five months,
but it's come back again and getting worse.
After rain, and now in the last few weeks
in high humidity,
it will stall after it's been running.
I call it the five-mile, five-minute symptom.
When I've driven about five miles
or about five minutes,
if I have to slow down
to maybe below 10 miles an hour,
it will stall.
After that, it sometimes will start right up.
Sometimes it takes five or six minutes
of trying to start it.
I don't have to slow down.
It's fine.
So if you can get past that five-mile-slash-five-minute point,
it will never do it.
Yeah, it won't stall.
But of course, I have to use Route 66
in towards Washington, D.C.,
so that just doesn't happen.
I stall out on Route 66.
Do you get your kicks on Route 66?
Well, not quite.
I'm afraid I'm going to get my slam in the rear.
That may be good.
You may like that.
Well, I mean, that's interesting.
Well, this fellow who's looked at it...
He's saying I'm not sure what this is,
but this is my best bet on it here.
Distributor.
Distributor cap and wires.
The rotor.
Don't like it.
I don't like that idea.
Well, I love it.
You do?
Actually, yes, it ends up.
Is this a four-cylinder Camry?
I think so.
We replace quite a few distributors on four-cylinder Camrys,
but his first stab should be replacing the cap and the rotor
and the spark plug wires.
And I believe on this car, the cap and wires are sold as a unit.
Okay.
And he would replace those two pieces,
the cap and wire set and the ignition rotor,
because those could certainly cause problems in damp weather.
However...
And he's never done that?
No.
No.
All right.
I don't like it anyway.
I like it because it often solves the problem,
but when it doesn't...
And it brings in revenue.
And it's revenue producing, yes.
Well, I don't think it's going to solve it.
But when it doesn't, the fact that you say
even high-humidity conditions cause the problem,
I'm more inclined to believe the problem is a bad ignition coil.
Okay.
You have a coil that has hairline cracks in it.
And when you get hairline cracks in the distributor,
it will cause it to short out.
Okay, yes.
Generally, we replace the entire distributor when we do these,
but you can replace just the coil.
Okay.
But if you haven't spent any money in the last few years,
have pity on this guy and throw him a few thousand bucks.
But if you have to...
So what?
Maureen's got it.
Oh!
Well, she ain't spending it on cars.
We know that.
We've been driving this thing for 100 years.
Good luck, Maureen.
Thank you much.
See you later.
Appreciate it.
Bye-bye.
Hi, my name is Jessica.
And I'm Bloomington, Indiana.
Hi, Jessica, how are you?
Hi there.
Hi, I'm good.
I have a strange problem.
I have a 1992 Volkswagen Jetta.
And I inherited it from my mother at the beginning of this year.
And I have a very unique problem with it.
It doesn't happen to her.
It happens to me.
And this is what I'm trying to figure out,
is that it's shocking.
It's shocking.
But it doesn't happen to her.
It happens to me.
And this is what I'm trying to figure out,
is that it shocks me when I put the key in the ignition.
It gives me an electric shock.
And this never happened to my mom.
And it happens to me.
And the best that I've been trying to figure it out,
and the best I can figure out,
is that I have kind of big hair.
And I didn't know if that was kind of the problem.
Big hair will do it.
Big hair.
I'll tell you what else it has to do with.
What kind of clothing do you wear?
Clothing.
I guess I might wear shinier clothes than my mother.
In general, maybe.
And what kind of upholstery in the Jetta?
It's not that really ugly stuff.
Yeah, it's not very pretty.
Man, they got some taste in fabric.
German cars have the weirdest upholstery.
This is just an opportunity for my brother to insult yet another ethnic group.
So go, feel free, man.
Well, I mean, it's a narrow thing.
It's people who design the fabric in factories in Germany
that make certain kinds of cars.
And who will those people be?
Germans.
But it does have cloth fabric, your car.
Yeah, it is cloth.
It could be more hideous, but it is kind of fuzzy.
I know I've asked this question at least once before.
Do you use a cream rinse?
I do use a cream rinse.
Jessica does use a cream rinse.
Now, I remember when you asked this question once before.
Well, here's the deal.
And I'll tell you, I have in the winter, especially,
and I suppose now that the weather's hot and humid,
it is probably the severity of these shocks has diminished.
Probably maybe even disappeared.
I do not have the problem in the summer.
But in the winter, or the fall, the fall is the worst.
Boy, I go out to almost any car that I'm driving,
and sometimes even opening the door can do it.
It's brutal.
And I've discovered what it is.
Cream rinse.
I don't use a cream rinse because there ain't nothing to rinse anymore.
It is my shoes.
It is the soles of my shoes which are non-conductive rubber.
And this is the same reason that many cars develop a static charge,
and then when you go to the toll booth and hand that poor toll booth person your quarter,
you zap them because the tires cannot discharge into the road,
and my shoes do not allow me to discharge.
Well, Jessica doesn't have the shoe problem
because she only gets it when she puts the key in ignition,
indicating to me that she's building up the charge
as her butt slides across that ugly upholstery in the Jetta.
Maybe.
Maybe.
So I could wear cotton pants.
I would switch to cotton for a while and see what happens,
but I like the hair theory.
Well, I had an impression that that had something to do with it
just because that's a big difference between myself and my mother.
I wish I had a theory to explain how that would work,
but I don't.
But the butt theory I know is true.
But if this discharge of electricity is taking place
before you actually start the car,
this is as soon as you get the key next to the switch, right?
Right.
A spark jumps.
Bingo.
It ain't the car that's causing it.
It's you.
As my brother said, it could be the seats.
You can try covering the seat with something.
You can try walking up there with bare feet or different shoes.
Or drive naked.
Or naked.
Yes.
Or a cream rinse.
Or a different cream rinse.
Maybe more cream rinse.
Maybe more.
Jessica, thanks for calling.
You made my day.
Thank you.
Good luck.
Thanks.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Well, it's happened again.
You squandered another perfectly good hour listening to car talk.
Our esteemed producer has dug the subway fugitive,
not a slave to fashion Berman.
Our associate producer is Ken the Diaper Slayer Rogers.
Our assistant producer is Catherine Cathode Ray.
Who's getting married next week.
She was.
Oh my God.
And I thought she was saving herself for me.
Yeah.
Okay.
Our engineer is Dennis Domenis Foley.
Our senior web lackey is Doug Sheepboy Mayer.
And our technical, spiritual, and manual advisor is the bugster,
John Bugsy Lawler.
Our public opinion poster is Paul Murky of Murky Research,
assisted by statistician Marge Innovera.
Marge Innovera.
Our customer care representative is Haywood Jabuzoff.
That's Haywood Jabuzoff.
Our sales director in Iraq is Aziz Nohwaranthi.
Our daylight savings time manager is Conrad Adenauer.
And the car talk plaza receptionist is Diane Temecha.
Our swing dancing consultant is Antonio Banderra.
Our staff child seat tester is Drew Lee Weiner.
And our chief counsel from the law firm is Dewey Cheatham and Howe.
Of course, it's Dewey.
Known to the air conditioning repair manager is Dewey Dewey.
Thanks so much for listening.
We're clicking clack to tap it.
Brothers, don't drive like my brother.
Drive like my brother.
We'll be back next week.
Bye bye.
And now here is car talk plaza's chief mechanic, Mr. Vincent L.
Boombats, Vinny.
Hey, thank you very much.
Now, if you want a copy of this, this here show, which is number 29,
just pick up your phone and call this number, 1-888-GOD-JUNK.
And Vinny, what if I wanted to get the puzzler book or the CD
about couples and cars, you know, men are from GM,
women are from Ford?
Would I call that very same number, Vinny?
No, you call Feinstein and Ford, Lizzie, you dope.
Of course you call that shameless commons division
at 888-GOD-JUNK or visit it online at the cartalksectionofcars.com.
Got it.
Thank you, Vinny.
This was very invigorating as usual.
Eight.
Invigorate this pal.
Car talk is a production of Dewey Cheatham and Howe and WBUR in Boston.
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