Don't throw your phone in the river
About this episode
Jonny Smith and Richard Porter kick off the new year with a lively discussion about car culture, including the peculiarities of British vehicle registration and the fate of an abandoned Honda Jazz. They share amusing listener stories, including a wild encounter with a Jaguar buyer and a humorous take on the quirks of public transport snack vendors. The duo also dives into car sales statistics, reminiscing about iconic models like the Subaru Impreza and C4 Corvette, while pondering the future of brands like Maserati and Subaru. Expect plenty of banter and car-related musings.
Jonny and Richard discuss things you definitely shouldn’t do. Also in this episode, a sad, abandoned Jazz, a listener’s tale of a strange Jag buyer, news from the world of No Name Full Suspension Mountain Bike Guy, the song writing skills of people who work on trains, a listener blames this podcast for a car swap, more CRAD stories, the worst selling cars of 2025, and is it wrong to want a Corvette?
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Honda Jazz
"...it's a sad abandoned Honda Jazz with two windows down and the cat converter stolen."
The Honda Jazz is a small car that's great for city driving. It's known for having a lot of space inside, making it a popular choice for families.
The Honda Jazz is a subcompact car known for its practicality and versatility. It offers a spacious interior and is often praised for its fuel efficiency.
catalytic converter
"...with two windows down and the cat converter stolen."
A catalytic converter is a part of the car that helps clean up the exhaust gases so they are less harmful to the environment. It's important for passing emissions tests.
A catalytic converter is an emissions control device that reduces harmful pollutants in a vehicle's exhaust. It converts toxic gases into less harmful emissions before they exit the exhaust system.
Jaguar Stype
"...my 2003 S-Type 3.0L V6 manual. This car was lovely in nearly every way, super smooth, comfortable with immaculate bodywork and full service history."
The Jaguar S-Type is a fancy car known for being comfortable and smooth to drive. The 2003 version is one of the years it was made, and many people liked it for its nice looks and features.
The Jaguar S-Type is a luxury sedan that was produced by Jaguar from 1999 to 2008. The 2003 model features a smooth ride and a comfortable interior, making it a popular choice among luxury car enthusiasts.
V6 engine
"...my 2003 S-Type 3.0L V6 manual. This car was lovely in nearly every way..."
A V6 engine is a type of car engine that has six cylinders arranged in a V shape. It provides a nice mix of power and fuel efficiency, which is why it's often used in cars like the Jaguar S-Type.
A V6 engine is a six-cylinder engine arranged in a 'V' configuration. It offers a good balance of power and efficiency, making it a popular choice for many vehicles, including luxury sedans like the Jaguar S-Type.
Jaguar Xjs
"several other S types and two 90s XJs, all of which looked in rather poor condition."
The Jaguar XJ is a large, luxurious car that has been around for many years. It's known for being very comfortable and stylish.
The Jaguar XJ is a full-size luxury sedan that has been in production since 1968, known for its elegant design and high performance.
supercar
"I heard what sounded like a thoroughbred supercar or possibly a racing car approaching."
A supercar is a very fast and expensive sports car that is designed for high performance and speed.
A supercar is a high-performance sports car that offers extreme speed, handling, and advanced technology, often with a high price tag.
Ferrari 458
"...ng car approaching. To my amazement, it wasn't a Ferrari 458 or a Pagani Zonda. It was my S type, with the ba..."
Pagani Zonda
"To my amazement, it wasn't a Ferrari 458 or a Pagani Zonda."
The Pagani Zonda is a supercar known for its unique style and incredible speed, made by the Italian manufacturer Pagani.
The Pagani Zonda is a high-performance sports car produced by Pagani from 1999 to 2019. It features a unique design and powerful engine options, making it a favorite among car enthusiasts.
Lamborghini Aventador
"The Jag was being driven in a similar manner to an Aventador going around Knightsbridge..."
The Lamborghini Aventador is a high-end supercar known for its extreme speed and striking design, made by Lamborghini.
The Lamborghini Aventador is a flagship supercar produced by Lamborghini since 2011. It features a powerful V12 engine and aggressive styling.
MOT
"...before failing its MOT and is now parked up in the python's front garden..."
The MOT is a yearly check in the UK to make sure cars are safe to drive and meet pollution standards. If a car fails this test, it can't be driven legally until it's fixed.
MOT stands for Ministry of Transport test, which is an annual test of vehicle safety, roadworthiness, and exhaust emissions in the UK. Vehicles over three years old must pass this test to be legally driven on public roads.
Chrysler 300C
"...replaced by a ropey-looking Chrysler 300C and a chrome-riddled oversized mobility scooter. Now, hang on, did he say this S-type was manual?"
The Chrysler 300C is a big, stylish car that offers a lot of comfort and power. It's known for its unique look and is often seen as a luxury vehicle.
The Chrysler 300C is a full-size luxury sedan known for its bold styling and powerful engine options. It was produced from 2004 to 2010, and it has a reputation for comfort and performance.
Honda Element
"Instead of buying my Honda Element, I nearly bought one as a budget family car a couple of years ago."
The Honda Element is a unique SUV made by Honda from 2003 to 2011. It has a boxy design and is known for being roomy and practical, great for families or people who like to carry a lot of stuff.
The Honda Element is a compact crossover SUV that was produced from 2003 to 2011. It is known for its boxy shape, spacious interior, and versatile seating configurations, making it popular for families and outdoor enthusiasts.
Saab
"...because I was chasing an interesting Saab? Yes. Which I thought was an AeroX..."
Saab is a car brand from Sweden that made unique cars, often with turbo engines. They are known for their distinctive style and engineering.
Saab was a Swedish automotive manufacturer known for its innovative designs and turbocharged engines. The brand has a loyal following, particularly among enthusiasts of unique and quirky cars.
Saab Aero X
"...because I was chasing an interesting Saab? Yes. Which I thought was an AeroX, but it wasn't, so it was a..."
The Saab Aero X is a special concept car made by Saab, known for its futuristic design and innovative features. It was introduced to show what cars might look like in the future.
The Saab Aero X is a concept car that was unveiled by Saab in 2006. It features a unique design and advanced technology, showcasing Saab's vision for future vehicles.
Mazda Premisee
"Do you remember that model? The Mazda privacy... The Premisee."
The Mazda Premisee is a type of car known as a multi-purpose vehicle, or MPV. It's designed to be roomy and practical for families, with lots of space inside for passengers and cargo.
The Mazda Premisee is a compact MPV (multi-purpose vehicle) that was produced by Mazda in the early 2000s. It was designed for family use and offered a spacious interior and flexible seating arrangements.
Volkswagen Golf 7.5 R
"...I had to sell my perfectly good 17-plate Lapis Blue Golf 7.5 R estate,..."
The Volkswagen Golf 7.5 R is a fast version of the Golf car, designed for people who want a sporty driving experience. It has a powerful engine and can handle well on the road.
The Volkswagen Golf 7.5 R is a high-performance variant of the popular Golf hatchback, known for its sporty handling and powerful engine. It features all-wheel drive and a turbocharged engine, making it a favorite among enthusiasts.
DSG
"I'm all right in thinking that the estate was only available as a DSG, whereas the other one was available with a manual as well."
DSG is a special kind of automatic transmission that shifts gears very quickly. It makes driving easier while still giving you a sporty feel.
DSG stands for Direct Shift Gearbox, a type of dual-clutch automatic transmission that allows for faster gear shifts compared to traditional automatics. It combines the convenience of an automatic with the performance of a manual transmission.
Toyota GR Yaris
"He tried the GR Yaris, but too small for him. So then he started looking at Audi's, BMW's and Merck's."
The GR Yaris is a special version of the Toyota Yaris that's designed for performance. It has a powerful engine and all-wheel drive, which helps it handle well on the road.
The GR Yaris is a high-performance version of the Toyota Yaris, developed by Toyota's Gazoo Racing division. It features a turbocharged engine and all-wheel drive, making it popular among enthusiasts for its sporty handling.
BMW
"So then he started looking at Audi's, BMW's and Merck's."
BMW is a German car brand that makes luxury cars known for being fun to drive. They focus on performance and quality.
BMW, or Bayerische Motoren Werke, is a German automaker known for its performance-oriented luxury vehicles and sporty driving dynamics.
Audi
"So then he started looking at Audi's, BMW's and Merck's."
Audi is a car brand from Germany that makes luxury cars. They are known for their stylish designs and advanced technology.
Audi is a German automotive manufacturer known for its luxury vehicles and advanced technology, including all-wheel drive systems and high-performance models.
Mercedes-Benz Eclass
"They'd still be on the drive. A large print edition of an E-Class to be able to operate it if you're old."
The Mercedes-Benz E-Class is a fancy car that many people like because it's comfortable and has a lot of cool features. It's a good car for people who want something nice to drive, especially if they have a family or need to go to work.
The Mercedes-Benz E-Class is a line of executive cars known for their luxury, performance, and advanced technology. It has been a significant model in the Mercedes lineup since its introduction in the 1990s, often praised for its comfort and safety features, making it a popular choice among business professionals and families alike.
Alfa Romeo Giulia
"...the Alpha Giulia Quadrifoglio on the podcast. Oh, goodness. Future Classic, et cetera, et cetera."
The Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio is a fast and sporty version of a car called the Giulia. It's known for being fun to drive and has a powerful engine that makes it exciting on the road.
The Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio is a high-performance version of the Giulia sedan, known for its powerful engine and sporty handling. It features a twin-turbocharged V6 engine and is often praised for its driving dynamics and Italian styling.
Ferrari engine
"...she said, does your car have a Ferrari engine?"
A Ferrari engine is a powerful engine made by the car company Ferrari. These engines are famous for being fast and well-designed, often found in their sports cars.
A Ferrari engine refers to the high-performance engines designed and manufactured by Ferrari, known for their power and engineering excellence. These engines are often used in sports cars and are a key component of Ferrari's reputation for speed and performance.
Volkswagen Golf R
"...the Golf R, as we've said, is a very, very fast capable thing."
The Volkswagen Golf R is a fast and powerful version of the regular Golf, designed for performance enthusiasts.
The Volkswagen Golf R is a high-performance variant of the standard Golf, known for its powerful engine and sporty handling.
Westfield
"...so I took out a graduate loan and bought a cheap Westfield,..."
Westfield makes small, sporty cars that are fun to drive. They are known for being light and quick, and are often built for racing or spirited driving.
Westfield is a manufacturer known for producing lightweight sports cars, often based on the classic Lotus Seven design. They are popular among enthusiasts for their performance and simplicity.
1700cc
"...1700cc,..."
1700cc means the engine can hold 1700 cubic centimeters of air and fuel. Bigger engines usually make more power, which helps the car go faster.
The term '1700cc' refers to the engine displacement of 1700 cubic centimeters, which is a measure of the engine's size and capacity. Larger engine displacements generally indicate more power.
Ford Mondeo
"Also there was a recent white Ford Mondeo wagon, and even in the gloom,"
The Ford Mondeo Wagon is a family car that has a lot of space inside for people and their stuff. It's a good option for families because it's comfortable and not too expensive to run.
The Ford Mondeo Wagon is a versatile family car known for its spacious interior and practicality. It has been a popular choice in Europe for its balance of comfort, efficiency, and value, making it a common sight on roads.
Chevrolet Corvette
"...ant to know what car it was. I'm guessing it's a Corvette? Or is it a Camel?"
The Chevrolet Corvette is a fast and stylish sports car that many people love to talk about. It's known for being really powerful and fun to drive, making it a favorite among car enthusiasts.
The Chevrolet Corvette is an iconic American sports car known for its high performance and distinctive design. Since its debut in 1953, the Corvette has become a symbol of American automotive engineering, often discussed for its speed, handling, and value as a sports car.
Suzuki Jimny
"I do wonder whether or not... The Jimny body modification tuner people in Japan,"
The Suzuki Jimny is a small SUV that can go off-road and handle tough terrains really well. It's popular with people who like to explore nature because it's easy to drive and has a fun, old-school look.
The Suzuki Jimny is a compact SUV known for its ruggedness and off-road capabilities. Its small size and lightweight design make it a favorite for those who enjoy outdoor adventures, while its retro styling has garnered a cult following.
Lancia Delta
"where they've turned Jimny's into, like, Lancia Delta and Renault 5 turbo lookalikes and strange stuff..."
The Lancia Delta is a small car that was really popular in racing a long time ago. People still like it today because of its cool looks and how well it performs, so some even change it to make it look like other famous cars.
The Lancia Delta is a compact car that gained fame in the 1980s and 1990s, particularly for its success in rally racing. Its unique design and performance capabilities have made it a classic among car collectors and enthusiasts, often inspiring modifications and restorations.
Mercedes-Benz G-Wagon
"Because the Mercedes G-Wagon does not have that. Or everything lines up on a G-Wagon."
The G-Wagon is a luxury SUV made by Mercedes-Benz. It's known for its square shape and is built to be very durable and capable off-road, often seen as a status symbol.
The Mercedes-Benz G-Wagon, also known as the G-Class, is a luxury SUV known for its boxy design and off-road capabilities. It has a reputation for high-quality construction and attention to detail, which contrasts with the issues mentioned regarding other vehicles.
Porsche 911 (C4) convertible
"but this, a red C4 convertible on those are some really good wheels."
The Porsche 911 is a famous sports car, and the 'C4' means it has all-wheel drive, which helps with traction. The convertible version has a roof that can be opened, making it great for enjoying the outdoors while driving.
The Porsche 911 (C4) convertible is a variant of the iconic 911 sports car, known for its distinctive design and rear-engine layout. The 'C4' designation indicates that it features all-wheel drive, enhancing its performance and handling capabilities.
Maserati
"Do you know how many Maserati's they sold?"
Maserati is a famous car brand from Italy that makes luxury sports cars. They are known for being stylish and fast.
Maserati is an Italian luxury vehicle manufacturer known for its high-performance sports cars and sedans. The brand is recognized for its distinctive design and engineering excellence.
Subaru Impreza WRX
"I suddenly found myself browsing in Pretz RB5s, because they were the first in Pretz a Turbo I ever drove."
The Subaru Impreza WRX is a sporty car that's designed for speed and handling, often used in racing. It's known for its powerful engine and ability to drive well in different weather conditions.
The Subaru Impreza WRX is a high-performance version of the Subaru Impreza, known for its turbocharged engine and all-wheel drive system, making it popular among car enthusiasts and rally fans.
Subaru SVX
"...l in on a stupid Subaru, I think we'd have to go SVX or go home. Yeah."
The Subaru SVX is a special sports car from the 1990s that looks different from most cars. It's known for being fun to drive and has a cool design that some people really like, even if it wasn't super popular when it came out.
The Subaru SVX is a unique sports coupe produced in the early 1990s, known for its distinctive design and all-wheel-drive system. Although it was not a commercial success, it has gained a following for its innovative features and performance, making it a topic of interest among car enthusiasts.
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