The Tire Kickers celebrate the festive season with a lighthearted discussion on whether classic cars can make the Christmas commute more enjoyable. Max and Matt explore various classic models, debating their reliability, style, and practicality for holiday travel. They also engage in a fun quiz about their own vehicles, revealing surprising gaps in their automotive knowledge. Additionally, they share unique gift ideas for car enthusiasts, ensuring that listeners have plenty of inspiration for the holiday season. Expect laughter, nostalgia, and a touch of holiday spirit throughout this special episode.
What if you could ditch the daily and do the Christmas commute in something more classic and classy? Would you make it or would you arrive on a low loader? Plus, just how much do Max and Matt know about their cars? We find out in a festive know-it-all quiz. And we swap socks for spark plugs and discover the perfect presents for classic car lovers. So press play and say Ho-Ho-Hello to our 2025 Tyre Kickers Christmas Special!
"[353.4s] Jaguar XJS. Now, this would be steaming along the motorway because it's a rare V12 manual."
A V12 engine is a type of car engine with twelve cylinders, which makes it very powerful and smooth. It’s often found in luxury or high-performance cars.
A V12 engine has twelve cylinders arranged in two banks of six, forming a 'V' shape. This layout allows for smooth power delivery and high horsepower.
"[353.4s] Jaguar XJS. Now, this would be steaming along the motorway because it's a rare V12 manual."
A manual transmission is a type of gearbox where you have to change gears yourself with a stick and a clutch pedal. It gives the driver more control over how the car moves.
A manual transmission requires the driver to manually shift gears using a clutch pedal and gear stick, offering more control over engine power.
"but here's a 1986 BMW 525E, E28 Auto. So it's the five series. Fantastic."
The BMW 525E is a popular older luxury car from the 1980s. It’s part of BMW’s 5 Series line and is appreciated for its comfortable interior and reliable performance.
The BMW 525E is a mid‑size luxury sedan from the 1980s, part of the first generation of the BMW 5 Series (E28). It was known for its comfortable ride, solid build quality, and classic BMW styling.
"I found this one, Caron Classic 60 grand. It's probably more than we'd want to pay..."
The Caron Classic is a small, inexpensive car from France that was made in the 1950s and 1960s. It’s a basic, practical vehicle that many people used as their first car.
The Caron Classic is a compact French car produced in the 1950s and 1960s, known for its simple design and affordable price.
"So it's a 6.7 liter V8 2 tonne car with a 3 speed auto. 12 to 14 if it's moving, but in Christmas jams, 6 to 9 MPG."
A 3‑speed automatic is a gearbox that changes gears for you, so you don't have to use a clutch. It has three forward speeds.
A 3‑speed automatic gearbox is a type of transmission that shifts through three forward gears automatically, providing smooth acceleration without manual clutch operation.
"It's quite a straightforward engine, isn't it? Get some jump leads on it, get it going."
Jump leads are the thick cables you use when a car’s battery is dead. They let another car give it a boost so the engine can start.
Jump leads are heavy-duty battery cables used to transfer electrical power from a working vehicle or external source to start another car’s engine. They are essential for troubleshooting dead batteries.
"going to put it on your screen now. What's that? It's a Ford Capri Mark II or Mark III."
The Ford Capri Mark II is a popular 1970s sports car from Ford, famous for its cool looks and good driving feel.
The Ford Capri Mark II is a 1970s compact sports car produced by the American automaker Ford. It was known for its distinctive styling and performance options.
"I mentioned about my stag Max when I put a battery charger, the trickle charger on and I'll wire it all up."
A trickle charger is a gentle charger that keeps your car’s battery topped up, especially useful when the car isn’t driven often.
A trickle charger is a type of battery charger that supplies a small, steady amount of current to keep a battery fully charged without overcharging it.
"I mentioned about my stag Max when I put a battery charger, the trickle charger on and I'll wire it all up."
A battery charger is a tool you plug into the car’s battery to help it recharge when it runs low.
A battery charger is an electrical device that replenishes a vehicle’s battery by providing a controlled flow of current, allowing the battery to regain its charge.
"They had that Coventry Climax race engine we talked about."
Coventry Climax made small, powerful engines that were used in many racing cars. They are lightweight and can give a car good speed.
Coventry Climax was a British engine manufacturer known for producing lightweight, high‑performance engines used in racing and sports cars during the 1950s and 1960s.
"Which unique structural feature compensates for the missing roof? Rust? No. The T‑bar."
A T‑bar is a metal bar that goes across the top of a car’s roof to keep it strong, especially when there isn’t a full roof covering the whole vehicle.
A T‑bar is a structural reinforcement that runs across the roofline of a car, compensating for the absence of a full roof. It provides rigidity and safety in the event of a rollover.
A manual fuel pump is a hand‑operated system that pushes gas from the tank to the engine, common in older cars.
A manual fuel pump is a mechanical device that draws gasoline from the tank and delivers it to the engine, often used in older or high-performance cars.
Twin Stromburg CDSE carbs are two fuel mixers that help the engine get the right amount of gas and air for better power.
Twin Stromburg CDSE carburettors are dual carburettor units made by Stromburg, designed to deliver precise fuel-air mixtures for high-performance engines.
A water pump is a small component that moves coolant through the engine. If it stops working, the engine can overheat and get damaged.
A water pump circulates coolant through the engine to keep it from overheating. In many cars, including the Triumph Stag, a failing water pump can lead to serious engine damage.
"But it's a toy V8 engine kit. So basically you get all the component parts of this kit and then you have to build a V8 engine, which would be quite useful for you to see what's inside your V8."
A V8 engine is a car part with eight cylinders that helps the vehicle move. It’s bigger and usually stronger than engines with fewer cylinders.
A V8 engine is a type of internal combustion engine that has eight cylinders arranged in two banks of four, typically producing more power and torque than smaller engines.
"Let's jump to my last one, which actually is a jump pack. Now, I've got one of these in the back of my car... I mean, they're not much bigger than a sort of mobile phone"
A jump pack is a small, battery-powered device you can keep in your car. When the main battery dies, it gives a quick burst of power to start the engine.
A jump pack is a portable battery system that provides enough power to start a vehicle’s engine when the main battery is dead. It typically contains a rechargeable battery, an inverter, and cables to connect to the car’s starter circuit.
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The Tire Kickers, Classic Car Chat, with Max and Matt. Ho, Ho, Hello, and welcome to the Tire Kickers
Big Borbled Christmas Special. Yes, we're here to give you some respite from rowing relatives,
Turkey dinners, and that dreary small talk. Think of us as your festive classic car safe space.
Coming up, we'll ask could a classic get you home for Christmas, or would an old barge turn the
festive commute into a yuletide slog. The Tire Kickers. Also ahead, it's paper hats on,
as we find out how much we really know about our own cars. Probably answer not a lot,
but let's expose the gaps in our knowledge with a Christmas style quiz. And who want socks when
you could get spark plugs? If you're into classic cars, we'll give you some present ideas to save
you getting tinseled tat. All that plus your comments and corrections. So let's jump start the
reindeer and warm up the sleigh because we're coming down your chimney with episode 46, the Tire Kickers
Christmas Special. Finalists at the Independent Podcast Awards. This is the Tire Kickers.
Christmas. That most wonderful time of the year. Family arguments, overeating, rubbish TV,
and of course, traffic. Oh yeah, the traffic. I've forgotten about the traffic, because you're
right. No Christmas season is complete without sitting in some motory misery, is it? For about
two hours, bumper to bumper as you're trying to get home or drive to see the relatives. Exactly,
because it's not normally a fun drive. Is it more of an evil commute, but could we make that must
do, or to be honest, must we journey a little bit more fun, a bit less idea and a bit more crisp
rear? So what you've done there, we can try Max. Here's how. You know, I've been sitting
cues on the M25 and he has gone past looking at all the sea of boring gray crossovers and EVs.
I mean, cars are so dull now, aren't they? And every so often, you get a sort of classy old
classic waft by, you know, like a roll still with shadow or an old jagger, a benty or something.
And I've sort of sat there thinking, you know, they're having more fun than me. Yes, probably.
Shocker. Rather than being sat in traffic with your family, yes, they are having more fun.
But he's driving an old car, a pleasure in that situation. For example, what happens if there's a
traffic jam or your under time pressure to get somewhere or you've got that lingering risk of a
breakdown just the whole time? Yeah, well, that's the thing, isn't it? Because we all know that driving
classic, so it's very different to looking at them. We've talked about this quite a lot in the show.
But you do wonder if you had one of those cars, or if you had a classic, could you do a Christmas
commute in it? I mean, dragging the wife, the kids, the dog rounder, evil M25 and into the bad
lands of Essex, about a hundred miles or so, including the evil dart for tunnel.
Well, you're actually talking about your own Christmas commute, aren't you here?
This isn't just a route that you've plucked from the eat there. This is your route.
It's just the therapy that I've booked, basically. Yeah, I mean, it's a miserable journey.
I have to do that chemically every Christmas, and it's miserable, slushy and gray,
and raining, and trouble. Oh, God, he's off about Christmas. This was a mistake to be honest,
to even mention it, because it's not a great time for you, is it? You're not exactly filled with
the joys of Christmas. But if I was in a nice old car, perhaps I would be. So is it, is it
possible, do you think? Would it, would it, would it make it? Well, I think let's, let's,
let's pick some cars that would actually make your miserable Christmas commute a bit less miserable.
Let's just hope your family aren't listening to this, because obviously it's a commute of joy
and fun. I don't know. I don't know. I don't listen, don't worry. I've got better stuff to do.
Let's imagine, instead of your modern car, we all pick you a classic car that you can do that
commute into make it more interesting. But let's introduce some science here. Let's have some
categories that we can judge our choices for Christmas classics against. So first of all,
what do the cars actually cost? How expensive are they? Right. Then how much would it cost to fill
them up? Yeah, right. The crucial question, will they start? Yeah, that's a very good question.
What are the chances of them say getting fixed on the hard shoulder? And finally, will you arrive in
style or arrive on a low loader? There's some categories here. Some science. I've put on a white
jacket. I've got some test tubes, and I'm going to apply some scientific rigor. So let's have a
look at the first choices. I don't think you'll be surprised by my first choice, which is on your
screen now. Oh, what a 19 year old Rolls Royce Silver Shadow. This is beautiful. Silver Shadow too,
so more reliable. It's got the Silver Mink exterior and the dark blue interior. Now that is possibly
the most stylish way to commute for Christmas, isn't it? As Silver Shadow.
I've heard this one more often than driving over Christmas. This you've banged on about these.
I mean, that is a bit of an obvious choice, Silver Shadow. It is, and it is one of the cars that
I've seen more often. But it would be so great. People in the traffic might think you're a racist
70s comedian, but you would be having a great time in that car, because it's virtually Christmas
on wheels, isn't it? It'd be so comfortable and relaxing and just fantastic. Yeah. Yeah, okay.
What about a 1973 Citroen SM? Look at this. I mean, it's probably not going to make you,
but if you do set up, you're going to stand up and start. You would look fantastic on the hard
shoulder as people cruise past saying, what's that? That looks like a spaceship with its bonnet up.
Yeah, exactly that. Yeah. Right. What else we got? I am going to take you into the 70s and probably
the most rough-ish-cadish car you could get. I mean, this will be going to somebody's house
for Christmas, but not possibly somebody that they're married to, for example, because this is a
Jaguar XJS. Now, this would be steaming along the motorway because it's a rare V12 manual. Look at
that in blue with the kind of tan hide. But manual XJS. Wow. I mean, that is Japanese, isn't it?
Okay, manual. Not sure about manual, but we'll come back to that. Let's throw an Italian in the mix
and this is a bit of a cookie one. An Alpha Julia 105. Now, that's the 60s one. Here's one from 67.
Have a look at this. Probably the best way to describe it. It's the police car from the Italian
job. So that's obviously the way it is. That can square boxy shape, isn't it? Lovely, lovely
Julius. Yeah, exactly, but Italian car. M25. Headlights, heater, misting up.
Let's go for something more reliable. Got any German?
Yeah, you see, I think the way to do it basically is you're not going to arrive in too much style,
but here's a 1986 BMW 525E, E28 Auto. So it's the five series. Fantastic. I had one of these
briefly, lovely and comfortable headlights, heater. It's a BMW from the 1980s. It'll get you there.
They're not completely travel free. But I'm going to throw one more in the mix and you're going to
love this one. You talk about style. You can't get as much more stylish. We can. Then a Maurice
minor traveler. Yeah, perfect. If you're going to load up, if you're going to load up the family
in the dog and stick or presence in them, I mean, yeah, because the presence will get woodworm,
because all of that rotting wood on the back. Even in these photographs, it's just flatched up.
I can see the rot on the seals already. It's rusting away before your eyes. It'll never make
Christmas. Yeah, don't worry about the rot. Don't worry about the rot. This one looks nice. It's a
blue with the, you know, the wood frame travel thing. So we've got our cars there. Let's just recap
them. We've got Silver Shadow. We've got Citroen SM, a Jaguar XJS, an Alpha Julia 105, the saloon,
the BMW 5 series basically from the 80s and a 1969 Maurice minor traveler. So we're going to
apply our tests to them. So let's go first. Cost. Well, Silver Shadow is on the market for about
25 grand, which is quite a lot, but it is a lot for Silver Shadow. Yeah, but it's a nice one.
And also you and I have looked at a couple of Roby ones, aren't we? Yeah, that's true. We want to
get there in style. Okay, so that's 25 grand. The Citroen SM, of course, it's quite a pricey
60 grand, 60,000. Yeah. 60,000. Yeah. Well, I got the, it's not that many on sale here,
and a few of them got P.O.A.s on them. But I found this one, Caron Classic 60 grand. It's probably
more than we'd want to pay, but let's, let's hopefully they've done a bit of work on it. So it might
not be too bad. What about the XJS, 25 grand. XJS is a rare manual V12 early pre-HG. That's 25 grand.
Yeah, I mean, you can get them for a lot cheaper, but I think this is a particularly nice one. So
25 grand. Yeah. Why have you picked a manual to see? Because it really does unleash the V12.
You know, the V12 is strangled by that three-speed auto, and if you put the manual on it,
it's a really exciting sports car. Yeah, what? Five miles an hour as you go under the
gantry, so that a flashy 40. Yeah, but everybody's looking at you saying, oh, it's the manual.
I took on that style. This Alfa Romeo Giulia might think, well, it's a bit boring still in boxy.
This one's quite cool. It's got two white stripes down there, so that's cool. It's a 2000 Ti
special. That's 35,000, though. So that's quite XC for one of these, to be honest, but
it does look cool. We do want to be stylish. We want to turn heads. What about your German taxi?
Well, the 525e, the E28 BMW, is only 8,000, which is a bargain to be honest, because you get all that
kind of BMW 8 is engineering and reliability for 8 grand. How many five are you giving for your
Morris Marner Traveler? It's $7.50 for this. It's $7.50 for the Morris Marner and three rust
chucked in as well. But hopefully, it's had a bit of work done to it. So it should be like, it says,
it's a solid and regularly driven example with an MOT, so there we go. That's gives you a fighting
start. Free to nivarnish with that one, I'm afraid. So let's look at them in turn, then. Let's look
at the Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow, because none of these cars are perfect. We're trying to work out
which one is the least likely to clap out and there's going to get you there under duress and
there's going to make you smile at that. Because the whole point of this is that we want to enjoy
the journey a bit more. So let's look at the Silver Shadow to start with. What do we think of the
advantageous slash disadvantageous? So the advantage is it looks cool, doesn't it? Yeah. Looks very
cool. If you're looking at our criteria there, the MPG is not great on my choices to be honest.
Anyway, we'll just move on to the BMW. The Silver Shadow does 10 miles to the gallon.
Actually, I've got some new for you. It does 10 miles to the gallon when you're moving.
It does. You can expect to get. I mean, I ran some figures on this before we came on. So it's a
6.7 liter V8 2 tonne car with a 3 speed auto. 12 to 14 if it's moving, but in Christmas jams,
6 to 9 MPG. Okay. So we'll take an average of seven, seven and a half. You're 20 minutes into
journey. And what's that light that's come on? It's the fuel light. And you're going to have to put
into the motorway services. And you know, as you know, motorway service is petrol. Really good value
for money, isn't it? You're going to want to put premium unleaded in that, aren't you? Otherwise,
it starts bluttering. Premium unleaded at the moment is about 170 liter of the motorway services.
The cost to fill your Silver Shadow up, empty to full is 182 quid. Okay. And that's going to
ask you between where six to nine MPG miles. We'll work. It's a hundred mile journey style costs
being that style. It's just a price. So that's that's going to be. You're going to have to fill it up
couple of times at least, I think. What about your SM because you're not just going to have to
put petrol in it. You'll have to fill it with that green fluid that's going to be seeping out
of the bottom. So so I mean, the MPG on that isn't great. V6 Maserati. Yeah, that's not much
better to be honest. Real world 14 to 18. And that's going to drop in traffic into the low teens. So
you know, it's only marginally better. I fill up on that, just looking at my figures. Look at
about 153 quid. It's a 90 liter fuel tank on that. The pre HE XJS. Now they were thirsty, pre HE. They
were, they were kind of single figures, I think. Well, you've got V12s. That's 10 to 16 MPG.
It's going to be single digits in jams. The straight six manual would have been better because
that was still in mid teens. If yours is the V12, it's going to rival that roles. So you're
looking six to nine MPG. Now the alpha's not too bad actually. There's the next sort of cars
ready. I think they're going to be better on MPG. So the alpha Romeo look about 24 to 30 normally.
And that's going to drop down. So we say like 20 early 20s for that. Yeah, 20 is not bad, is it?
You're being W28 to 34. It's the BMW 525e. I've picked this for a reason because it's the efficiency
car. It's still going to, it's still going to be mid 20s, but compared to the shadow, I mean,
that's going to do almost double, double in a bit more than the shadow. So that's better. And then
of course, you get 30s in that BMW. If you slow traffic, 30 MPG. Yeah, okay, fair enough. And
the Morris minor travel of 35 to 45. And sometimes more, if you're gentle. So it's the only one
where fuel isn't part of the drama on that one. But just in terms of filling those up as well,
you're looking at a Z182 quid for the Silver Shadow, 153 when you need to fill up the SM, 151 for the
Jag, 119 for the 525, just 78 quid for the alpha Julia and 49 quid for the Morris minor travel.
So in terms of 49 quid, not to get in that, to be honest. So in terms of the fuel economy,
I think it's, it's a difficult one. It's between the Morris minor because it's got such a tiny
engine. Yeah, you really want that 948 cc or the later, what was it? The, it's the 1100,
wasn't it A series? Do you really want that in front of you? Well, I don't know, it's still cool.
I think the Morris minor travel school. Let's move on from the MPG. We've got to, we've got to pick one
though. This is the whole point of this. We can at the end though, because I'm not picking on MPG.
I'm not picking on the Morris minor travel or whatever. Okay, what Christmas is? What about
will it start? Silver shadow, yes. Hmm, some of those electric don't great, but I think it will start.
I think it will start. Citroen SM. Well, with the, with the, with the wing in the prayer, it might start.
XJS. Hmm, there's the electricals a bit fragile. Lucas, electric, yeah, rainy, motorway conditions.
B12. Dodgers, flaky connectors. Headlights going up. That probably might start. Either would
Alfa Romeo. Not famed for fantastic electric either, but I don't know. I'm probably going to rust
before it'll fail. The engines are quite nice on those aren't they? If they're well tuned,
it'll be alright. Yeah, I think that's good that a yes. I reckon that will start, because you could
get some jump leads. It's quite a straightforward engine, isn't it? Get some jump leads on it, get it
going. Yeah, BMW. Yeah, that's going to start. Yeah, that'll start into Morris minor. Absolutely not.
Absolutely no choice of getting rid of that. You'd have to do those old tricks of like push it down
a hill and let the clutch out in gear to get it just chugging along and then it's going to break down
again, isn't it? That's a no. That won't get going. So we've got three yeses going now.
You just, you just a hater, you're a hater on Morris minus. If that's, if that's a well-used
classic, that will get going, I think it's quite a hardy little engine, isn't it?
Okay, let's have a look at the next criteria, which is if you've broken down on the hard shoulder,
which is the most likely to get fixed by the breakdown person. Which of these cars do you reckon
you could get running again with a with a spanner and a kind of fuel and a bit of WD40? Basically,
if you've got the bonnet up, the REC or the AA man turns up, which one is he going to go,
oh yeah, consult that out, which one's he going to go? You'll be lucky mate, call the low loader.
Let's start with your Rolls Royce Silver Shadow. I think it depends what goes wrong with it.
Well, there was a good, Harry Metcups done a good video with his Silver Shadow 1, which he took to
France and there were lots of problems without the wipers packed up. The wheel bearing went and it was,
I think it used a massive five liters of oil. He did get home in it though, so it did function
just without wipers and at the very noisy wheel bearing. So you probably could get it going with a
hammer, but obviously if it needed parts or anything more serious, I reckon you could actually,
because that's that's pretty good solid British engineering, isn't it? So I'm going to say, yes,
you could fix that by the roadside. I don't think you can say the same for the SM though. I mean,
if that, if that conks out and you're on the hard shoulder and the REC turn up, no, low loader,
because I, you remember I told you a friend of mine's got one of these and it started spewing fluid
on the M4 and it was just basically low loaded away because they couldn't fix it. Yeah, I mean,
it's way too complicated. We can move on from that one about your Jaguar XJS, something British,
but the V12, pop that bonnet up. Yeah, loads the bonnet, call the truck. That's not going to get fixed
is it? That's not, that's not simple about the Alpha. And we said, you know, possibly a little
engine, yeah. Yeah, I reckon I probably think that would actually. Well, it depends, depends what it
is. If it's just just some ignition or fuel problem, they might better get that going. If it's
something more alpha-ish, it might not be your BMW. I suppose it's not massively different.
Yeah, a few of the older people might have been trained on that from the 19 late 80s, early 90s,
maybe I reckon that would get going. Yeah, I think, I think you're right. And the Morris
minor traveller, I think it would depend who turns up to fix it, whether they go, where do I plug
the laptop in? They wouldn't bother. They're just say scrap it. No, they wouldn't. They'd look
it out, go, scrap it and use the wood to get the fire going. That's true. You could warm your hands
on the wood while you're wasting, wasting for the REC to turn up. I think there's a chance,
a good chance of getting that going, though, by the road, especially if you've got an old school
mechanic that's turned up. Okay, so where we are? Are we arriving in style? Are we arriving in style?
Silver shadow. Yeah. Well, that's without a doubt, isn't it? Probably. It's still got that.
I know you probably think it hasn't, but it's still got a bit of two fingers up to everybody.
I don't think you're going to get let in in traffic in that, particularly. I don't think it's still,
it's not a very friendly classic car to other people, non-classic car people, because it's still
got that cache. I think most non-car people would still think that you're super rich driving that.
And anybody who's probably bought one for about 10 grand is not super hitch because they're spending
on keeping it going. Yeah. What was the fuel price on? 182 quid for a full tank. Yeah, and you're
doing six to nine miles a gallon. So you might need to have the petrol tank are following you as
you're going along. So I think it's definitely style. And this is what's triggered this whole chat
is that, you know, I've seen, I've seen a silver shadow wafed past before. You could pull up at
your relatives, wind the wind down, they could disappear in a puff of your cigar smoke, and I think
that will be stylish. But you're chucking the keys. Part of that love. Tell some awful mothering
or jokes and stuff, which is so much how their drivers used to do for a living. In terms of style,
I think the SM would be more stylish to turn up with. I think the chances of it turning up
are very, very slim. But if you did turn up in that, the chances of turning up in a working SM
makes you the most stylish man in the world. Possibly. I know we think it's cool. Do you think non-car
people think that's cool? Because it is a bit weird, isn't it? Good question. I can't really think.
Like a non-car person to be honest. I can't really go there. But whoever sees that is going to
realize that he's a bit of Gallic charm, 70s Gallic charm. So I think that's probably the most
stylish of them all to be honest. You're jagged, XGS. Well, firstly you're going to turn up.
Girl, that's nice. And then you're going to look and go, why did you get the manual?
No, I think people would respect the manual because you would have a dead left leg having arrived
at that point because those manuals are heavy. I think an XGS has still got a hint of, hint of
kind of raffishness about it. I don't think it's stylish enough, actually. I don't know.
If you're turning up for a kind of wife or husband swapping Christmas, that would be style,
wouldn't it? But it's not really a normal Christmas style, is it? Alpha Julia 105. I think it's
quite cool and quite stylish. And if it does make it, I don't think non-car people because we're
talking about relatives. Most relatives not to be car people. But if you pull up in that, people
are going to go, what's that? They'd only recognise that from watching the Italian job on Boxing Day.
So that's your car outside, isn't it? That's chasing those minutes.
If you turn up in your BMW 5 series from the 80s, is that stylish? Or people are going to think
your car's in for a service or you've lost your job? Colin from Accounts has arrived.
In a very, very, very tasteless Christmas jumper. What about the minute Morris Minor Traveller?
I think everybody apart from you likes a Morris Minor Traveller. I think it gets a smile. I think
out of all that we should have done another criteria on this, actually. Which car would somebody let
you in the filtering lane? You know, in the two lanes of shot, you know, just because they always do.
Oh yeah, because the highways agents are out with their Christmas cheer.
Goons for everybody. Yeah, so you're going down to that one lane. Which one of these cars would
you get let in in? I think the Morris Minor Traveller, you would. The Rolls Royce Silver Shatter,
you'd be straight down the front of that queue trying to nudge in and everybody would be like,
bumper to bumper trying to keep you out of that queue. The Citroen SN, they'd probably just think
you're strange. The Jaguar XJS, I think it's probably got a bit of the problem that the Rolls Royce has.
Yeah, the Alpha 105 might get let in. In the BMW, I think you'd get blocked out in that as well.
But the Morris Minor Traveller, I think somebody would actually stop and wave you in.
Only somebody would think there's some kind of 60s medical emergency with a district nurse on board.
Now, I mean, you wouldn't take that Morris Minor realistically on a motorway, would you?
So you're not going to arrive in style because you're going to be on back roads trying to see where
you're going with very dim headlights. So which one do we pick for the Christmas commute?
Can I just tell you, I've been keeping a spreadsheet about this because this is scientific.
This will be available for all scientific journals to have a look at.
The winner is, from this, the Silver Shatter. No, we don't think it's that stylish because
people aren't letting you in. The SM is going to be basically, it's a paperweight, isn't it?
Because it's going to be parked where you want it to start.
Extra yes. No, no, no. Julia probably not 525. Morris Minor, no, no. 525. I'm afraid the BMW
525 wins because it's got four yeses against it because it's going to start. You could fix it.
You're going to arrive in relative style and also it'll probably start in two or three days after
being left alone. That's the most boring choice of the lot though. Yeah. I would say actually
probably the Silver Shadow. I know, I know it's not, you know, a point scoring system but I think
if you were going to have a car that had a chance of making it, I mean, you would need deep pockets
but that would, that would, that ticks all the boxes of things, isn't it? He's a new criteria.
I've just dreamed up. If you had to sit next to the driver of any of these cars at your Christmas
lunch for five hours, which would it be? I'd want to sit next to the Jaguar XJS driver because
that person would have a lot of tails, not necessarily related to the Jaguar. But if you drive
a Jaguar XJS in the 1970s, 1978, you are going to be somebody interesting. So I think under that
criteria, the Jag wins for me.
Well, it's episode 46. Our tinsel, laden, Christmas special. Still the car will attempt to come
up with some perfect traffic car. Christmas present ideas. Try saying that after a bottle of
mudwine. But first, you'll remember last time we talked about why we don't like Fords.
Now, I was reading the latest classic and sports car this week and saw perhaps a reason why
they did a very good article on Capri's specials. And this is a Capri special. It's called a DMS
bullet. Wait for it. This was a kit car built on top of a Mark II or III Ford Capri. And I'm
going to put it on your screen now. What's that? It's a Ford Capri Mark II or Mark III. And they basically
came up with some stick on fiberglass panels that you could stick on your Ford Capri
to look a bit like an Aston Martin Vantage. But it is absolutely awful.
Do you know what I was going to say? The front, it's got a bit of an Aston Martin look to it,
but just briefly. And then you go around the back and it's horrendous, isn't it?
Well, it uses all the kind of Ford Capri lights and stuff. So it just looks wrong. And actually,
the fact that the panels are kind of glued on makes it even worse. It just looks like a really bad
kit car based around a Mark II or III Ford Capri. And that is for me why I don't really like these
Ford sometimes because it's the kind of people they were appealing to. And anybody who buys a
Ford kit car to make it look like an Aston Martin Vantage, it's not really what you want to be
buying a Ford for, is it? It looks like someone's made this in DT in school,
doesn't it? Do you know that one? Do you remember? With the acrylic, the acrylic bender thing
that you heated up the acrylic and the whole thing looks absolute. I saw it. It looks like it's
been made by sort of a 12 year old or something. It's just absolute rubbish. You wouldn't,
though, need to say, is that a kit, mate? Because you know, wouldn't you? Straight off from about
six feet away. And there were lots of kits built around Ford stuff. And that's a bit of a problem,
isn't it? Because it kind of ruined the look of Ford's, I think. Yeah, we've been talking about
Ford's on the last episode. Lots of other stuff as well. Lots of stuff on our socials, which you've
been getting involved with and talking about. I mentioned about my stag Max when I put a battery
charger, the trickle charger on and I'll wire it all up. I put a rag on the steering wheel to remind
me when I jump in the car, not to reverse a hot foot at the garage and take the thing out the wall.
It's just a sort of aid memoir because otherwise, I think it's, well, I know I'll have reversed
over something in the past and I swore a lot. We asked you what other things you did,
the sort of memory jokes and lots of comments on this, weren't there? Yeah, the old car lady said,
I just disconnect the battery. It's pretty simple, which reminded me of when I turn the key,
because it's dead, so you can't go anywhere. Here's another one, Boygold 2020 also says about your car,
why don't you just leave the bonnet out? I've got, perhaps I worry about too much about these things,
but I thought, would worry, if I leave the bonnet propped, then it might warp. So I don't,
I want to shut the bonnet with the thing attached, but then it's just a little, okay,
little bit of a wire coming out, which I can't see when jumping the car. I do use my little,
my little technique to remember. And I'm not the only one, MGEE drive 8 also has a sort of
charger aid memoir. They leave the seat tilted forward. That's another thing you can do. It's just
something that when you want to do it, why is that seat tilted forward? I know, and that's the memory
joke. So yeah, something like that, I did, I will confess that the reason I started doing this was
because I had one of those very expensive winder-flector things for a Mercedes-A's store,
which was propped up against the back of my sun beam alpine. I came into the garage the wrong end,
I can go in two ways to my garage. I came in the front end, jumped in the car, started up,
and reversed over this thing. There are about 250 quid, and I heard it crunch under the wheels.
Ever since then, I've always made a point of just putting something into remind me,
because it's so easy to reverse over stuff when you're in your car, because you're,
when you get in your classic car and you're taking out the garage and you've not done it for
while you're obviously concentrating on, you know, starting it out, making it run, and then you,
you kind of generally, I want to get the car out of the garage fairly soon before I get the whole
house out. So sometimes in that sort of haze of doing that, you forget what might be propped
up against the car or to attach the car, so that's why I do. Yeah, I've made a huge mistake once in
a Porsche 944 that I decided to reverse out of the garage with a door open to improve my vision,
but I didn't realize that the door was getting caught on the edge of the garage door. So I basically
ripped the door, the drivers tore off off its engines. That was a very expensive mistake.
So yeah, so we asked you what other things you've done to kind of stop stuff like that happening.
God-free Dunn says he's wired the fuel pump switch in his VTES in series with a volt meter to
remind him to switch it on before driving away. Yeah, I don't really understand that. You're
another why. We also talked about the Hillman imps. Specifically, should it be sent to be crushed or
caressed like the rear-engined overheating 60s super mini, it was. Yeah, Jago Brett wrote us a very
thoughtful and quite long post. It was quite intelligent and probably too intelligent for this show.
Here's the gist of what he said. He said, guys, my first car was a sunbeam stiletto followed by a
sunbeam in sport. They were fantastic little cars and just as much fun as minis, but a little bit
different. The imp, he says on the British touring car championship three years running. It was
also successful rally car as well. He says they were very tunable. They had that Coventry Climax
race engine we talked about. And he said compared to the mini had far more potential than the A series
engine, it just didn't have the same following. I mean, you've summarized that because that is
quite an impressive essay. He's written this. And by far the longest comment we've ever had on
this podcast. So thank you very much, Jago Brett. That was a very thoughtful, actually argument
about it. I mean, I suppose, you know, not much room for any super mini against the original mini.
I mean, I remember hot Hillman imps, but that standard cooking vanilla version just he always left
me a bit cold unlike the car which always got too hot. Well, you mentioned Fords. Benjamin Mulby was
picked up on our thing about why, why we don't like Fords. He said, well, Fashion Fade style remains
much as I like my mark three called Tina, the inflated prices we're seeing now for dull shopping
trolleys and executive boxes will be short lives. We don't get that premium thing. Do we too much?
Yeah, I don't get it. The people paying court were a million quid for a Ford Escort, but some people
liked them. Actually, I was surprised about there wasn't much reaction to what we said about Fords
because we pretty much slagged them off. And I thought there'd be more people defending them,
but there aren't, to be honest. I wonder whether we've hit a thing here that actually the Ford
bubble isn't that big. It's only a few people and not many people have got that much affection for them.
As ever, please chip on on what we post and what we talk about. The best places on our socials,
and guess what? Here are the details.
Well, yes, it's our second Christmas special and you'll remember last year if you were with us.
We did a quiz and it crudy exposed how little we knew about classic cars. So this year we're having
another quiz, but about something we might know about our own cars. I'm quite nervous about
this because last year was quite a humiliating experience. Let's face it, wasn't it? So anyway,
I'm going to ask Matt some questions about his triumph stag and then he can ask me some questions
about my Mercedes R107 SL. Now for fairness, but mainly because it's a lot easier, we've asked chat
GPT to come up with 20 easy questions and we both use the same word as we ask chat GPT about our
respective cars to save our blushes. I didn't really type the word easy, but we'll see how we go.
That's what we agreed. Now I see. I know where this is going. The most difficult questions you
can get about Mercedes in original German. I have one opportunity a year to humiliate you in front
of people. So here we go. We've broken out the budget again. We've got the music from Tipping Point
and we've got the buzzer out again, Max. Is it Tipping Point that you elderly people watch during
the day? I don't know, I'm at work. I haven't got pastless women yet, sir.
In the start of a daytime TV quiz show, we're going to go for it. So yeah, I've got my
triumph stag. My 1978 triumph stag that I'm supposedly should know something about New York,
Mercedes R107 SL, which is 1980. Remind me? Six. Okay, who's going to go first then?
Shall you go first, actually, and then I'll ask you the triumph stag quiz afterwards because I'm
just going to make them more difficult. You cheat. We've got 20 questions each then. We'll
fire up the music and see how many you get. Here we go. Number one, in what year was the R107
first introduced to the public? 1971. Correct. Number two, how many years was it in production?
289, so 18. Correct. Name a feature film in which a Mercedes 107 SL appears.
Oh, American jiggerlet. The R107 was sold in North America as the 450 SLC 5-liter. That was
so it could be used in motorsport, but what motorsport event was that done for?
Well, it did lots of motorsport. I mean, it did the World Rally Championship.
Correct. Number five, which R107 engine variant is generally considered the most powerful
from the factory? The most powerful is the 560 SL, but that was only in America, I think. Nine
euro. Damn. Number six, the early V8 engines that used a specific Bosch fuel injection system,
what was it called? They used two, I think, so the early ones were the D-tronic and then the later ones
were the K-tronic. Not quite right. Number seven, which R107 model was the first to use a catalytic
converter as standard in certain markets? Oh, catalytic converter, so I'm reckoning that was an
American one, so I'm going to say the 450 SL. Number eight, what common issue in the R107 steering
system can lead to vague handling if it's not adjusted? Usually the driver.
Well, it's a recirculating ball, isn't it system? So, I don't know. You don't get a point for that,
then. Number nine, what temperature range should the R107's V8 typically run out once fully warmed
up? Between 80 and 120. The R107 was designed under which famous Mercedes designer?
Oh, Friedrich Geiger, like the Geiger counter. Number 11, how many seconds roughly does it take
for an experienced owner, not you, to remove the hardtop without a hoist? How many seconds does it take
you? How many seconds? Yeah, experience that. To remove the hardtop without a hoist. Well, it depends,
doesn't it? That's not so many different factors. How many seconds? Yes. I mean, it takes me
in per 20 minutes. I mean, I don't know. An experienced owner, how many seconds, 120?
Number 12, what is the correct factory term for the R107's soft top colour? Commonly called
dark brown. I mean, there are so many browns, aren't there? No idea.
Number 13, which metal trim on the R107 is known for pitting, if not cared for?
The bumpers, chrome bumpers. Correct. The SLC variant had a unique rear window design,
what was unusual about it? It was curved. What rear factory option allows the soft top to be raised
or lowered from inside the cabin? What rear factory option? An electric roof? We didn't have it.
Correct. Which dashboard warning lights on the R107's famously illuminate, even when nothing is wrong?
Or illuminate when nothing's wrong? Well, the only one that illuminates is a part brake,
isn't it? Part brake light. Why does the cabin fan run at low speeds even when the climate
control is off? What? He's a bissar. Number 18, where is the most common place for water to
leak into the boot? Into the boot? Yes. Well, around the seals at the back.
All the rear light gaskets. Which job is more notorious for skin knuckles,
blower motor or spark plugs? Well, it depends with your engine on the spark plugs, isn't it?
Because the straight sixes are quite easy, so I'm going to say the blower motor.
And finally, number 20, what is the most overlooked lubrication point that smooths the roof
mechanism? Outlook lubrication point. Where do you put your grease? Where do you put your grease?
There's so many places to do it. There's like 16 points to grease a roof.
So at the end of that, you scored 10 out of 20. So, when are we going to do the answers?
Do you care about the answers? Well, they were just weird, so yeah.
Okay, the ones that you didn't get right, you mentioned that fuel injections actually called
the Bosch Dejet Tronic. Yeah, but I said Dejet Tronic.
You de-tronic? No, it's not what I said. It's a jet tronic here.
Should I give you that one? I think so.
As it's Christmas, I'll give you that. So you're like 11 out of 20, we're up to you now.
I can argue with all these.
Number 7 was difficult. Which one used a catalytic converter? We're blame chat GPT for that,
because it was a 380 SL, that one. What common issue in the steering system is the steering box
or idler arm draggling, where I didn't use for you to get that right.
Now, you said about the temperature that a VH had run out. You said 80 to 110. It's not as 80 to 90,
and I've got to take your first answer, unfortunately. How many seconds?
I should get half a point for 80. You don't get half a point.
Well, anyway, yeah, go on then, it's Christmas, half a point. So that puts you up to 11 and a half now.
You were right with the Frederick Geiger. Frederick Geiger.
I don't know. You're pronouncing together.
Frederick. Frederick. Frederick Geiger. Yeah, you're right with that.
How many seconds did it take an experienced owner to remove the hardtop? 20 seconds.
20 seconds to get that off the way, about 75 kilos. No chance.
No, I've taken one of those off. There's no way that takes 20 seconds.
No chance. No chance. So you said 20 minutes.
I think that's more than right. You've got to put rags on the back to stop it scratching,
and you've got to go round and then lock in blah, blah, blah.
Such a fact, isn't it? And then there's that cable in 107 that always stretches the release cable.
Oh, yeah. And of course, you've got to unplug the heated row window as well,
which everybody forgets and then rips it out.
Yeah. This is, this is probably, I've got to say, chat GPCs, not necessarily.
If you use chat GPC, do question it, because it does make stuff up.
It was trying to tell me that Princess Diana drove one, and that was rubbish as well.
So now I said, well, no, Princess Diana didn't drive one.
Oh, yeah, you're right. She drives the R129, didn't she?
She did. So that didn't get him this, this question 12, I think this is a bit unfair as well.
It says, what's the correct factory term for dark brown, and it says dark brown 8023.
So I don't get it. I think I'm going to be a generous.
I'm going to give you another point for that, because there's no way you've got that.
Some of the other ones, dashboard warning lights,
famously one is break pad wear lights or coolant lights.
Apparently they have a habit of just flashing up for no reason whatsoever.
And the reason that the cabin fan runs at low speed is to prevent fogging
via default low ventilation.
Right.
That sounds like a phrase from the owner's manual that nobody reads.
Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
Okay, this is basically what it's read.
So at the end of that, you've got 12 and a half out of 20, which is not too bad.
Right.
Okay, here it goes.
Okay, here we go.
So number one, are you ready?
Bring it on.
Are you sitting in the black chair?
Yep.
What's your special subject?
Not the drive-stag.
What was the engine configuration of the Triumph Stag?
Three-litre V8.
Half-right.
What's?
Engine configuration.
A three-litre 90-degree V8.
Okay, that's still a point.
Half.
And the Stag V8 was created by effectively combining two engines from which Triumph model?
From the Dolomite.
No, the Triumph 1500 slant 4.
Oh, I was going to say slant 4.
But you didn't, so there you are wrong.
Which famous Italian designer styled the Triumph Stag easy?
Oh, it's Mixelotti.
Which unique structural feature compensates for the missing roof?
Rust?
No.
The T-bar.
T-bar, yeah.
Which fuel delivery system did the Stag use originally?
Was it Shell Stamps?
No.
That's it.
Manual, I don't know, manual fuel pump.
Twin Stromburg CDSE carbs.
Oh, god, yeah, of course they do.
What was the, sadly, didn't say that.
No, I didn't say that.
So that's still wrong, isn't it?
What was the wrong end?
What was the standard gearbox on early Stags?
Ooh, full speed.
Yeah, but which type?
Full speed overdrive.
Yeah, but which type of gearbox?
One with gears.
Manual, manual.
Yeah, got there in the end.
Which automatic gearbox was fitted?
Borgwarner.
Borgwarner Type 35 apparently, but you can have that.
Also, what is the main cooling issue causing early failures?
Oh, how long you got?
Exactly.
Yes, several.
The main, the main issue.
Oh, god, that's the main one.
It's the water level.
It's the main one.
This is a bit of an odd answer, because this is poor coolant
circulation and airlock.
So, yeah, I mean, it's bound to be,
that's going to be the feature of coolant, isn't it?
You can have that.
And what timing drive did the Stag use?
It's a chain.
But what type of chain?
Don't know.
So, that's wrong. That's duplex.
What's the power output when you?
Only marginally better than it is now.
Power out, but it was about 140 brake horsepower.
145 you can have that, yeah.
This is weird.
I'm not even going to name the supplied hardtop.
Hardtop.
Then it just says detachable.
What is the rear suspension type?
Oh, I look first in.
Independent with semi-trailing arms.
Oh.
What is the year that the Mark II Stag first appeared?
Oh, 73.
It's boss on.
What is the front end visual change on a Mark II?
The badge change from grey to black.
It says black grille frame.
Yeah, that's the same.
Total Stag production?
Oh, it's about 35,000.
25,000.
What is the component causing hot start issues?
The engine?
This is the strombo, I suppose.
It says ballast resistor ignition.
No idea.
What's the recommended coolant concentration?
Oh, 50, 50, blue coal.
33%.
Which triumphant model donated the dashboard?
Or the dashboard design, I'm guessing that one.
Oh, triumphant 2000.
Yep.
What is the badge below the indicator?
Batch below the indicator.
On what?
Where?
Into on the wings.
Oh, on the wings, it just says Stag.
It says the V8 emblem.
I think I'm the only one who did the V8.
I did that.
What is the north to 60 time when new?
I'm going to say 13 seconds.
9.3 to 9.5.
So you got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, and a half.
Okay. Well, that's not that great.
I gave you that weird one saying name the supplied hardtop, detachable hardtop.
Some of those would be weird.
Some of those I should have got if I'd have thought about them.
I did that.
I did like my kids do.
They don't listen to the question properly.
I should have got the strombo, because I know it's strombo carbonate.
I should have got a couple of those right.
But they were a bit old, those ones.
They are a bit old.
I think we won AI last.
Yeah, it did.
I think it did.
It seemed like a good idea until we put it into chat GPC.
It's gone a bit weird, isn't it?
But at the end of the day, and this will make you happy
at Christmas at the time that you're normally quite miserable,
you've won with 12 and a half points.
So the last time opening a Christmas present was really fun, was in 1977.
When I got a toy garage set, including petrol pumps,
a service area, and a wind-up lift.
These days, socks just don't have the same magic.
So time to put that right with our festive suggestions
of presents for the petrolhead.
All I think I had that garage, too,
is it the Fisher Price one with the...
Yeah, it was.
Exactly.
It had a little wind-up lift on the sides.
You could take cars from the service area to the sales area.
Do you remember that?
Yeah, that's right.
What would be the modern version of that now?
Would that be a Tesco Express on there, wouldn't there?
There'd be a lot of people paying like doing their shopping
while you're trying to fill up with fuel.
Yeah, they were cool though.
I do remember that quite vividly.
Well, to correct those years of disappointment
from 1977 onwards, here's a present I bought you.
We set a task buying each other a Christmas present.
So let's have our big tie-kicker Christmas present opening session
with the gifts we got to each other.
And then we'll come up with some ideas that actually are probably better.
So do you want to go first?
You see, I've just taken a long time wrapping it up.
My mate Jeff Bezos wrapped this up in his warehouse.
Listen to this.
I'm actually going to rip this open.
I'm very excited about this.
Well, actually, I'm not, because I know you,
but at the same time, I can...
There's a message in it.
Get lost.
Oh, I see.
So this is a book, and I've just looked at the rear cover,
and I thought, what's that?
But actually, the front cover is how to stop mansplaining.
The gift of knowing when to zip it.
Now, most books you get at Christmas,
you get, oh, that's nice, you don't read.
Please can you read this?
So this is it mansplaining, that delightful cocktail of confidence
unsolicited expertise, and the uncanny ability
to repeat exactly what someone just said,
only lagged, and with more hand gestures.
It's a friendly bit of advice.
No thanks, not that friendly.
Now, I've got your beautiful thing here,
which has also been wrapped up in cardboard
at a warehouse somewhere in Milton Keynes.
So it's a bit...
See if we're going to open this as well.
Now, this is a very exciting part for your car,
that's it's a missing part for your car.
Oh, okay.
You've been missing this a while.
Do a water pump.
I've been quite worried about this,
because you really do need this
to have the true Triumph Stag experience.
Well, I've not seen what it is yet,
but I've pulled out a docket of packing slip
from a well-known stag parts supplier.
Oh, exactly.
No expense.
Let's have a look at this.
Well, yeah, I can see what you've spent on it.
Pay big spender.
Right, so what I've got here is a packet.
I hope you're excited.
You should be.
Oh, you're hot.
I'm not sticking those on.
You are.
The problem with your stag is because
when it was restored,
on the two wings, on the front wings of a Mark II stag,
they should have British Leyland badges
on both of the wings.
And yours doesn't.
So what I've done is I've bought you those
period correct British Leyland badges
to go on the wings of your car.
They are nice.
They're in the little metal badges
with British Leyland and then that lovely Leyland Roundo,
which is on my pedals,
which I don't mind too much
because I put my foot on my pedals and I can't see it.
But you're wanting me to stick these on.
Because that makes it factory correct.
Now, there's a problem here because your car
is not in a factory color.
So you'll have to have the car re-sprayed first,
but then you can put your BL badges on it on each wing.
Well, I think it looks better
that it's not in the factory color
and it doesn't have these on.
But you can't deny what it is.
You need to embrace the kind of great BL heritage
of your car.
This is very kind of you.
That's a very thoughtful present.
And it's nice that you're buying something
that will keep the good name of British Leyland going
so that everybody can say,
do you think anybody would be in a doubt
that that's a British Leyland product
then that I'm driving?
Not if it's on the hard shoulder, no.
Is it got the invoice?
How much do they spend on your present?
Yeah, it's quite a lot actually.
2160.
And I'm just looking at the back of your...
...buck.
I think it's £1.99 from a charity shop.
You don't give to receive
even you don't receive to give
or whatever the expression is.
And it's not about the thought
that's gone into it and...
I know the thought.
The thought from you to me is to shut up.
Shut up, you're face.
Well, let's have a look at some presents
that you can actually buy.
Because the problem is,
do you have that?
There's always that thing
a couple of months before Christmas, Max,
where people start saying,
where do you want the Christmas sound?
So they're asking me what you want for Christmas.
I normally, my natural reaction,
so that I don't want anything,
because I can just buy stuff.
Tell them, don't not to worry.
And then you get random stuff, don't.
So I think if you need to...
We're looking at two scenarios
for these present picks.
One is, one is things you can get
if you've got a mate who's into classic cars
and the other one,
these things you can suggest
to your family and friends
that don't buy you socks
or novelty stuff that you don't want.
So what have you got?
Have you got some present ideas?
I have.
And first up is this,
which I think every classic car owner should have.
Possibly actually, that should be a far-extinguisher,
but that's not very Christmasy.
So this is a leather man rev.
So this is a leather man,
you know, everybody loves a multi-tool, don't they?
So this is a leather man designed for cars.
It's on your screen now.
And pretty much that's got loads of tools
that you can use to fix your car
with any roadside problems.
More importantly, it's got a pouch
that you can put it on your belt.
So everybody knows you've got a leather man
that you can fix your car with.
So that is a very, very, very practical present
to give somebody.
I've got a leather man, to be honest.
I've had it for about 25 years
and it's fantastic.
Not just for car stuff, just for anything stuff.
So I think a leather man is a great, great gift.
44.95 for that.
I think that's pretty cheap for what you get.
Please don't start wearing that on your belt.
I think if I...
It's on now.
If I see that on your belt, I'm going to know it's a cry for help.
You've lost all sense of style.
I think that they are very useful.
We used to work with a lot of camera men
who always have these, wouldn't they?
They always have competitions about who have the best one.
Yeah, that's it.
Oh, I've got that one.
I mean, it's the Swiss Army knife of pliers, essentially, isn't it?
Because it is like a Swiss Army knife.
But this is quite useful.
And it probably, actually, I could carry this
rather than the tool bag that I carry on the back of my car.
But I mean, I'm not going to use either of them
to be honest, apart from dialing the AA of the IRAC, that's...
It's a nice present.
It's quite handy for everything
from opening the beers, which you'll probably want
after you swan at your classic car
and not gotten you wear with it.
So yeah, that's a very nice present.
And something like that has a bit of quality, isn't it?
I mean, you're going to keep that.
It's not going to be a novelty.
You're going to keep that for a few years.
The thing about these leather men is that, you know,
there's nothing to go wrong, essentially.
So all you've got to do is oil it every so often,
and you can keep it for life.
What are you getting?
What's your next present?
Before we move on, I'd just say, if you want the link for that,
just be very, very careful how you type in words,
leather men, because you might not get what you want.
So it's just very careful with Google.
That's what I say.
Maybe you don't Google it or work.
What's your next present?
Well, I just think what would be nice
to have on your desktop to remind you.
I find this engine piston table lamp on...
Oh, that's nice.
Have a look at that.
It's made out of...
Well, it's done in these genuine pistons,
but it's made out of two pistons.
The pit one pistons got the lighting,
and then there's the connecting rods.
The con rods down to a bottom piston,
which is a little sort of weight.
I think that's quite cool, isn't it?
Seven three quid.
78 quid on Etsy.
There are cheaper ones,
but this one looks like it probably won't fall over.
But that's like a kind of angle poised lamp
made out of a piston.
So that's a really nice idea.
Actually, I really like that.
I quite like that.
Can you got the receipt for these BL badges?
Can you take those back and buy me that instead?
I'd get closer to it than you would
with a mansplaining book for $199.
So next up, and I've really liked this idea,
I've seen it in a few magazines, actually,
and it's advertised around Christmas,
which is your life in cars.
So basically, you email a company
that can put pictures of all the cars you've owned.
So basically, you tell this company what car you've owned
since the first car to the last car.
And they put them all in a picture at the right colors
for you to hang on the wall.
And actually, it gives you this great memory
of what cars you've had.
It's called your life in cars.
It's been around for a bit, but I really like that idea
of being able to see your car history on the wall.
And it will throw up so many good memories
of what you've driven and where you've been.
I think that's a really cool idea.
Yeah, I really like that.
So to describe it, it's a big, long, rectangular frame
with just illest small illustrations of cars,
basically starting on the left and going
through all the different cars.
I mean, there's 16 on this particular one.
You're one, you need to put it down the side of your house,
wouldn't you?
Because I'm the old bank that you had.
I could have a car per decade, to be honest.
I mean, I've never actually kept count,
but it would be great to go back to those favourite cars
because they can have them in the colour,
they can have them with the registration number that you had.
Go back to those cars and just have memories of them.
Because so many have gone to the scrapper
that actually would be nice to sort of bring them back to life.
Yeah, it's a really nice keepsake that.
And it's something that's obviously very personal to you.
And it's quite a nice memory job.
And that'd be a nice one for the downstairs little or something.
That's your life in cars.com, if you want to have a look at that.
Talking of old cars and things that sort of jog your memory,
I used to love, and I still do those old ads
that used to get in the colour supplements for cars.
Because they're from a time you don't really see car ads like them.
You used to have a sort of a bit of coffee,
and a usually one picture, and then a bit of quirky coffee.
Some of them though, you wouldn't be able to get away with now.
Probably this one included.
Yes, MG Midget ad from 1970,
which is in a frame, it's 37 quid on Etsy.
MGB and MG Midget had their famous campaign,
your mother wouldn't like it.
And it had a sort of a woman draped on it,
didn't they, looking suggestive.
This one, you can't get any more 70s suggestive.
It says 85% of MG Midget owners are men,
and in the picture is a shot of a woman in a short sort of maxi dress
with a hand quite provocatively on the handbrake.
But these are over time.
You wouldn't get away with it now.
If you get something as a little bit more PC maybe,
but I think that's quite a nice keepsake to put on a wall.
I think anything that is period from your car,
I'm not going to know some beam Alpine ad above me
when I'm talking here, which is from the 60s.
It's so period, you know.
So stuff like that is good.
And I think that's the sort of present I would like.
And for 37 quid, I think that's not bad.
Now here's something I think that you and I could do together
over a bottle of wine on maybe two.
If you look on your screen now,
this is basically, it's a toy.
But it's a toy V8 engine kit.
So basically you get all the component parts of this kit
and then you have to build a V8 engine,
which would be quite useful for you to see what's inside your V8.
It's not slanted at 90 degrees,
but we could always do that on the table, couldn't we?
But actually, what a great toy this is,
because it could be for kids,
but it doesn't have to be, you could be an adult and do this.
And you and I could sit there over the kitchen table
with a drink, assembling a mini V8.
And have a great laugh over that, couldn't we?
I think that's a really good idea to do
with some of your car friends.
You assemble a mini engine.
At the end of it, you have a kind of working kit.
Yeah, this is 59.99, a Wonderland models.com.
I'm not normally big on sort of model stuff,
but I think that would be quite fun.
I was thinking actually you could develop it further.
If they did a tripe stag engine,
it would be a cross between this kit and buckaroo, wouldn't it?
Because basically, you'd put it together
and if you didn't do it right, it would just blow up.
Or it would overheat.
Yeah, so it could be, yeah, like operation,
or maybe like operation,
you know, if you didn't connect it right,
it would overheat and melt.
But yeah, so this is basically a, you make, as Max says,
you make a V8 model.
I think I'd probably just drink the wine and what you do.
But yeah, I'd be fun.
What an exciting prospect for 2026,
but it's build a model together.
Thanks for that.
Listen, I can't tell you how to do it,
because I'd be mansplaining, wouldn't I?
So I wouldn't be allowed.
I'll just have to sit there mute.
Yeah, we'd have to zip it, wouldn't you?
Let's jump to my last one, which actually is a jump pack.
Now, I've got one of these in the back of my car.
I don't know, you know, if you think about jump packs,
traditionally, they've always been quite large things
that get your car going.
But I've had one of these for the last couple of years,
and I don't know if you're aware of how small these have got.
I mean, they're not much bigger than a sort of mobile phone
charger, power bank thing.
But I think it's a really useful thing
to having the back of your car.
And it's like a sort of, it's like a talisman, really.
If you have a charged one of these power banks
to start your car, you'd hopefully your car
then normally starts.
That's the thing.
It's only when he's not in the car.
And I have used these, but they're very small.
I mean, have a look at this one.
It's on Amazon. It's 30 quid.
And I think if you've got a classic car,
the piece of mind having a fully charged one of these.
Yeah, that is good.
I mean, I haven't got this make,
but I've got one make in the back of my car,
which I've never used on my car, interestingly.
But I have used on other people's cars,
and it does get them going.
It's got that kind of like small jump pack.
It's just enough to give it a kick and get it moving.
Yeah, and they're just so small now.
You know, they used to be, it wasn't.
I mean, it was only 10 years ago.
These things were massive, weren't they?
And you needed to carry them around like an old phone
when the mobile phone's first came out.
Yeah, with a proper bricks.
Yeah, they were like a lot of battery
with a car battery with a handle on them.
These are now really small,
so you can zip them up.
And I think for 30 quid,
the piece of mind having that in the back,
because if you haven't charged your battery,
or you do go flat, or you do go overnight,
because you've taken a classic car away for Christmas,
just having that in is just a whole heap of things.
That's 29, 29, 98, it's on Amazon.
I'm sure you can buy it from somewhere else not from Amazon.
Out of those presents, I'd be happy to get
probably most of those, actually.
I mean, the model, not so much, but you can have that.
I think the life of cars thing is good.
The leather man's going to be useful.
The model's fun.
The piston table lamp.
I think I'm on my buy for myself as a luxury.
New slash, you're not getting any of those,
because you've just bought me a really cheap book for Christmas,
so you won't be getting near anything of that.
If anything, I think I'd probably take your life in cars,
actually, because I really like that kind of idea.
And it would be one of those constant reminders
of the fun you've had in classic cars.
So that's it for this festive edition.
We now offer stuff off faces with chocolates out of the big tin,
each cheese, and argue with some relatives.
The tire kickers.
We'll be back next year, but thanks for listening
and your support this year, happy new year,
and in the meantime, Matthew.
I'll be round on Christmas Day with a paper hat
and a half-drunk bottle of sherry.
And don't forget, Brussels sprouts make me fart.
And there was me thinking it was the tool.
Happy Christmas.
Bye.
Goodbye.
Good, it's all down here from hell.
From, you see, I can't even tell you.
The share is kicking in.
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