Episode #219 - All Hail Suzuki

In a world with entirely too many shows about cars, this is another Pointless Automotive

podcast.

There she is.

I'm good now.

There she is.

Are you good?

Yeah.

The jury's out on that one.

Yeah.

Well, if I asked, are you hood, you would say, like, I don't even need to ask because

I know.

I'm from the streets and for the streets.

You know how it is.

That's right.

But her all in the sheets, Haram in the streets, they're the way around.

They're the way around.

Anyways.

Microsoft spreadsheets.

Yeah.

How's it going, man?

Good.

Things are good.

Yeah.

I, you know, I don't, I don't, I don't know.

Oh, you got some leftover rainies.

I'm holding up a rain year, which, which is plug it right at the beginning.

Hell yeah.

Get on the Patreon, guys.

We got a late night confidential episodes and we got, we got Mighty Toasty off some

rainies.

Yeah.

That was good.

Yeah.

And that was a, that was a listener request, a Patreon member request is that we drink

rainies and actually found some locally.

So it's not bad at all.

It really is not compared to the hard Mountain Dew.

It was laughable.

So next time we'll have to drink.

Low bar.

Like actual sewage or again, like, yeah, race horse, race horse semen.

I don't know.

Something.

Oh, that's pricey.

Yeah.

Well, no, just like the 11th place horse, you know, not like the, you don't want the

real deal, you know, you don't want to see your biscuit.

Um, soggy sea biscuit.

I don't know.

Anyways, um, thanks for joining us, I suppose, um, and, uh, you know, if maybe you read the

title, I don't know.

We're going to talk about Suzuki, nothing but, nothing but Suzuki I've heard.

Yeah.

And I don't, and not about their motorcycles or their, um, personal watercraft, um, or

their, what else did they make?

Uh, ooh, I don't know.

I'm sure they make like quads.

Yeah.

They do.

They make ATVs and stuff.

But, um, yeah, they really don't have anything else that I can think of, like Mitsubishi has

its like old TVs and H vac units, right?

Um, I don't think Suzuki has anything like that.

Fuji heavy industries, AKA Subaru makes like transatlantic shipping, uh, vessels and whatnot.

Right.

Um, yeah, Suzuki famously, um, and we're talking about their cars because, uh, we, we've owned

a few of their products.

They don't get a lot of, uh, run here in the United States.

It's certainly been today is right place because they've been over a decade out of selling

anything here in North America.

Um, so let's just, let's just have a, a, a, a moment, uh, an ode to our friends at Suzuki

of North.

All hail the mighty Suzuki.

So in my, in my scholarly ways, uh, which are ill at best, I actually went through and

chronologically placed when each model was released here in the States.

I probably, because I didn't.

There's, it took too long to, um, it, it, there's probably some holes in it, but it's,

it's generally pretty good.

And there's some awesome models and there's a lot of blah, blah, blah, blah at the end

of it, which we'll, we'll get into.

Um, do you, what's game within a game?

Do you dare to, dare to venture a guess what their first model was here in the

us of a that was the, and I feel, let, let me know if I'm the only one that feels a little

weird about, about it.

Um, that would be the introduced in 85 for the 1986 model year.

Suzuki Samurai, I believe, correct?

Well, well, oh, unless, unless that's badged as a Suzuki, I believe that is the

first thing that we got.

There was a swift, I believe 85 was the first model year of the base Suzuki swift.

I don't think, but I think we got it here as the sprint.

I don't think it was here as a Suzuki.

I believe for 85, the swift was the cultist, was the Chevy sprint.

Yes.

Same vehicle though.

And yes, not, not the GTI GT variant that we talk about on the pod all the time.

Just the regular swifts slash sprint did be the Samurai.

He did get number one and two, uh, which came out in 1986.

Correct.

Yeah.

So that branded as a Suzuki was the Samurai as the Chevy sprint.

Mm-hmm.

Not yet turbo, but non-turbo, but 49 horsepower carbureted, I think.

Yeah.

Or it might have been, it might have been TBI.

I don't remember.

TBI.

I don't know if they had TBI.

Did they have TBI that early?

They did.

I don't know if, I don't know if in that, I don't know if and when we got it as

carbureted.

We might not have seen it as carbureted.

Because I have a GM kept their TBI a lot longer than they should have.

We can all agree to that point, uh, because my 94 S10 Blazer is TBI as well as

my 95 GeoTracker probably going to be on this list in some form, uh, both are TBI.

I don't, I don't, I thought you were going to reveal on the podcast that you've

recently sustained the TBI.

I wasn't, I wasn't sure.

I wasn't sure where we're going there.

Can you, can you sustain another one on top of one?

If you already have one?

That's why you have so many helmets in that recording studio.

Seriously.

Come back to TBI's.

So let's just start off with the Swiftman, uh, or the Sprint, if you

will, uh, just a cheap, cheap car.

Like there's no other way to, I don't know.

How do you describe the non-GTI, non-GT variant?

It's just, it's a car, barely.

Well, yes.

I mean, it's a certified ship box.

Mm hmm.

Um, but what's funny is I bet if you transport yourself back to 1985, um,

as an adult, not as a single-digit year old, as you and I both were.

Fair enough.

Um, and just think, think of yourself as the average American

shopper in 1985, 1986, looking at subcompact cars.

I'm willing to bet that at the time, us American consumer probably

looked at the Chevy Sprint, the base ass Chevy Sprint, as maybe the

most shittiest ship box on the market.

They had to be right, um, viewed.

I don't think it actually was though.

Because if you look like retro, like, you know, hindsight, 2020, you

put, you stack that car up to a K car, a Chrysler, you know, your Plymouth

Reliant, your Dodge Aries, which was a far more expensive, larger, more equipped

car, or you stack it up to a Chevy Chevette.

Yeah, I was going to say Chevette is the analog from Chevette, which

has a little bit later.

Mm hmm.

I think it's a much better product.

Ultimately, is it better than a Tercel?

No, no, certainly not.

And even like you're talking at 85 Tercel is also a certified shipbox, but

like a better built, um, less, even less price cut, which is more out

the same amount of Tercel.

SR5 wagon form is pretty sweet though.

We all know that.

Sure.

Yeah.

But like a basic, basic Tercel, yeah, with DLX, I don't remember

what they call their base trim, but might have been just Tercel.

Yeah, this was the tail end of the Moise era, really going up into the

mid 80s, we had a not good economy at the time.

Shipboxes were super prevalent because it was all, anyone could swing.

Like a Pontiac 1000, like absolute certified shit.

Nothing good.

Yeah.

And these cars, like they, you know, got better fuel economy was certainly

more of a death trap, but more reliable, uh, you know, probably longer

lasting ultimately.

I feel like they were turning, they were turning that corner, right?

Like we're getting out of the age of like cheap Japanese cars that are

just shit boxes, right?

And they're starting, they're starting to become more reliable.

And that's causing the domestic makers to make more reliable shit boxes as well.

A rising shit tide raises all the boxes, right?

I think it's funny, like it really makes me, you know, if we're talking

end of the Moise era, or I don't know about end of the Moise era, really the

heart of the Moise era, if we go back a little bit to like, say, 1979,

yeah, 1980, 1981, 1982, but I feel like 88, 87, 88 is when we really

started to crawl out of that, you know, for sure, but kind of what I'm

getting at is if we look at that end of the Moise area, late, late 70,

say 79, 80, 81, sure.

And actually it's not the end of the Moise era.

Back to what I just said, you were talking about the end.

I'm talking about like the heart of the Moise era.

The these Japanese manufacturers, whether it be Suzuki, you know,

which are some of the smaller ones, Suzuki, Azuzu, Mitsubishi,

probably weren't a smaller player at the time.

That they were a lot like Kia and Hyundai in 2011, 2012.

Okay.

Where earlier to that, if we're talking the mid 70s was like, they were

mainstream, but like, I think the average American consumer was still

like a Japanese car, like, sure, yeah, turn their nose up at them.

And then those products were just better and cheaper.

And I think that's kind of like, when you're talking about 1988, that

would be like Hyundai and Kia today, where there's segment leaders

in a lot of spots, right, creating things.

We're talking late 80s, you know, Japanese, the Japanese players had

Infinity and Lexus in Acura.

And now you've got stuff like Genesis and some of this other stuff.

So I don't know, like, it's really interesting to look back at that time.

Because if you think back to the mid 2000s, a Korean car was like, you've

got a Kia Pasha, like it was like not, people knew the name, but they didn't

associate it positively.

And I think we're talking about then, right, a, you know, Suzuki

Coltas or Swift rebas as a Chevy and people do what it was, they wouldn't

look at that positively.

They would look at it, looked at that as like, oh, you got the, you got

the, the shipbox import Chevy, you know, I'm a bow tie wearing, you know,

whatever, American idiot.

But, but retroactively, I think it was the better product than a lot of its

peers, even if it didn't in period look or pass the Smith test or the look test.

Sure.

Yeah.

It was definitely, it was definitely built to a very shoestring budget.

Do you think back then when imports were not good, they didn't have hot import

nights.

They had like lukewarm import afternoons.

Oh yeah.

And you just, you loop and then been your carbureted 70 horsepower.

If you're lucky automobile and rev the engine to the 5,000 RPM red line.

I've got the hot, the hot hatch 70 horsepower sprint turbo over here.

This is true, man.

That thing's, that thing's scary.

Um, I didn't take this weekend briefly.

It was really small.

I didn't stick around long.

I was there maybe 20 minutes, got a cup of coffee and bailed.

But, um, every time I take that stupid car out, I really, really enjoy it.

Um, oh yeah.

And that, that's exactly it.

That was the sprint, the, the, the swift, the cultists.

Okay.

I think we should hit the samurai because out of the two, I think this, like

definitely now the samurai is an icon.

It's an off-road, like a mini off-road icon and they shot up in price.

It's been a while.

Um, it's been spending for a minute now.

Yeah.

Since they were cheap, cheap trucks, they used to be like nothing.

Right.

They took to rust like anything, uh, underpowered, uh, definitely a lot of people

swap in, yeah, swap, swap in the sidekick 1.6.

You can get the either the eight valve or 16 valve motor in there.

And it's a huge power gain, right?

But I love God, they look good.

I think those, you know, tin top samurai's just look so freaking good, dude.

And there's so little, which, you know, again, when they were cheap was, was that

was used as like a pejorative of like, oh, um, it's little, it's, it's, oh, it's

this little, it's this little shit box.

And it's, it's going to tip over in this and that.

Oh boy.

That's why you like it.

Um, yeah.

Unless your consumer reports in era, in which case.

Yeah, there's some payouts, there's some payouts there, man.

Um, but no, the samurai was cool because first off, it was like super robust

in an off-road scenario, like going down four wheeler trails and shit.

They were just perfect for that.

Uh, on top of that, the boxy design, I think is what helps it be super iconic today.

I think a clean, a clean samurai really does demand a premium, uh, even more so

than it's, it's follow up the track or inside kick.

But, uh, I, dude, I always wanted a samurai, but then like to me, like if I'm

just going to do the engine swap anyway, I just get the side kick or tracker

and call it, call it close enough.

Yeah.

I mean, I, I think part of the charm of the samurai is the tiny little, the

tiny little 1.3.

Like I think that's part of the experience.

And like in my mind, they're all teal with white steel wheels, like the,

whatever it is, eight spoke steel wheel, I don't know the spoke count.

But, um, and half of them you would always see with like a tow bar on the

front because they were pull behinds on RVs.

And that's that, that's kind of how I want it.

If I was going to do anything, it'd be like, okay, give it like two inches of

lift and some like skinny, chunky, like safari style tires.

Oh yeah.

And then just cause I like, that's what I want.

I want the tiny thing that goes down the tiny trails.

Um, the biggest problem is that they've become prohibitively expensive for what

they are.

Yeah.

Uh, which is a shame because it's, it's what like, I would say it's

inarguably the most recognized Suzuki product.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, I'd agree.

I'd agree.

Um, they get the tinworm real bad.

So the numbers are getting lower, which is only hurting the value in our, in

our case of buying one, uh, someday finding one of those that's sitting in a

field, uh, usually they're just completely rotted out, which is unfortunate,

especially if it's in tall, like wet grass, it's like game over.

Yeah.

I mean, the counterpoint there is that like the good news is, is that they,

they get saved when they have some value to them.

True.

You know, just, yeah, I might cut you and I out of the equation because we

refuse to spend money on anything nice.

Um, but, uh, is that like, that does mean that more, more of them get saved.

That's our automotive martyrdom.

We don't allow ourselves to have good things or spend on ourselves.

We just, we just deal with all the other waste of other, other.

Yeah.

Are we like automotive gooners?

We, I think we are, we just, we just never, we never finish.

We just are always.

Yeah.

Shipbox shipbox gooners.

Maybe, Hey, should that be a, finally our, um, uh, what we can call like our

audience, like our Patreon members or whatever the shipbox gooners.

Hey, what's up shipbox gooners.

Smash that like button.

Yeah, exactly.

But not too hard.

Yeah.

Um, I like it.

I'm into it.

All right.

It's in the running.

Okay.

What's, what's move along?

Let's, let's push this down.

So, um, not too long after that, the next Suzuki was available in the US, uh, wore

a little badge that said sidekick in 1989.

And that is our beloved sidekick and later, a little bit later, geotracker.

Yeah.

Um,

love these trucks, dude.

It, they really take the formula of the samurai.

They increase the size by 15%.

They're not that big.

Yeah, they're still tiny.

Way better engine selection.

Uh, God, they're cool though.

Like a hint of amenities.

Yeah.

And depending on, I look at my eight valve, five speed rural drive model and say,

what amenities?

Uh, but it like almost has a dashboard and like, it does have it.

Yeah.

You're right.

Carpet in places.

Um, but I, I do love these trucks.

I, I've always thought these were cool, especially the early ones.

I like the boxy ones with the big gap under the hood, the big over exaggerated

fender flares, kind of like a Daihatsu Rocky in that sense.

That same kind of design school, right?

Like big and boxy, but little and diminutive in nature.

Uh, I love these things, dude.

And talk about still a good deal.

I'd say they've gone up a bit.

They've gone up.

But like still, I mean, and again, back to the, you know, shipbox gooners, but

like, you know, for us, it becomes difficult when it's like, Oh, well, they

used to be free and now they're free plus a few dollars.

Sure.

Um, but this is a vehicle that largely they're still free.

Yeah.

They were legit free for the longest time.

Like you go back to like 2005, 2006.

You could get an early 90s sidekick tracker for like a thousand bucks and it

would be good looking and a good driver.

Even, even just pre COVID 18, 19, you can get a very, you can get a very nice

one for like three.

Yeah.

Which is well, now you're like five to six.

Yeah.

Now it's double.

I think, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, still hell of a hell of a, and there's, so the, just like chronic

looking they are too, where nothing you don't never a something like that

will never be made again be the experiences unlike anything you've ever had.

Whether you get, even if you get the little beach cruising rear wheel drive

manual soft top version or you get the hard top four by four lifted a little bit,

put knobby tires on it and have another awesome experience.

You can't go wrong with these things and you can't get that.

You really can't get that experience anywhere else, especially at that price

point.

Yeah.

And it's weird because if you, you wouldn't think it, but they really

do feel substantially different than just like a Jeep.

Oh, yeah, a lot.

You know, just a Wrangler, a TJ or a YJ, which was the YJ in period.

Um, I'd say they were 800 pounds and different.

Is it too much?

I think it's pretty close.

Dude, I would, I think, so maybe two wheel drive.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

I think, I think mine, especially being a two wheel drive, uh, five

speed manual version.

I think that's as light as you're going to get.

I do have AC, so maybe I'm carrying around an extra 12 pounds.

Uh, but yeah, compared to like the period Jeep, I would guarantee it's 750 to

800 something pounds.

Curb weight.

Yeah, I'm going to look it up right now because it makes for incredible listening.

Uh, but no, I've honestly, this vehicle right now, I've been daily

in mind for what, two and a half weeks now.

It's, it's so fun.

I got it a little squirrely in the rain today on purpose.

I overpowered, uh, the rear wheels, which does not take

me, I think it has 185s or 175 all seasons on it.

And they got the back end to kick out a little bit.

Yeah, love it.

It was a good moment, dude.

Good time.

Okay.

So, uh, I'm just looking, I'm using 1990 as a, as a just, you know, whatever.

Um, a two door four wheel drive.

Uh, we're looking at 22 38 as the curb weight.

Miata.

1990 Jeep.

And it reminds you every, it reminds you every time you shut the doors.

So let me tell you Jeep Wrangler for a four cylinder base.

We're looking at 28 55.

So roughly two wheel drive, right?

No, four.

Okay.

But a four cylinder.

Ah, so the lightest YJ you couldn't get.

You couldn't get a YJ into wheel drive.

I don't think I think every Wrangler was four by and they, but you

could get the four liter in line.

Yes.

Which adds roughly a hundred pounds, not quite a hundred pounds for the,

in 90, it was still the four or two.

Oh, that's right.

That's right.

Um, yeah.

And then fully juiced out.

It was 32.

So a base YJ was roughly 600 pounds more.

That was pretty good off the top of the melon.

Um, that's noticeable when that's, you know, 25 plus percent of your vehicles.

For sure.

Yeah.

And that speaks to, and not all of that is like.

Powertrain shit.

In fact, most of it is just the size of the chassis, but even just like the motor,

the motor is cost cutting and safety, let's be honest.

Well, I mean, Mopar did a lot of cost cutting in that 90 Wrangler.

I mean, it was, it was pretty, it was cut pretty thin too in the base models.

But, um, yeah, it's, um, it's a pretty unique feeling thing.

It's far more playful.

And yeah, that could be a 20% weight reduction will do that, you know?

But no, they're, they're cool.

Um, anyone who's on the fence can encourage you enough to just pull the trigger

because it's, it's even money in and like money in, money out.

Maintenance isn't too bad.

Maintenance is great.

Yeah.

And aftermarket's decent parts are still completely available.

So yeah, dude, I'd say, cause I chased the idea on in one of these for

probably like 10 plus years before I, I pulled the trigger and I'm having a time

of my life, dude, but this, this one, and it was a lot of work to get it where it

was, I'll say that, right?

But, uh, dude, it's so fun.

I still want your neighbors right down the street.

I know they got a four by four one, like manual, uh, there's this clean too.

Um, the graphics package, they don't have it.

So I'm not interested.

I'm all about that graphics package.

Uh, so beyond the sidekick geo tracker, we do have in 95 is our next entry.

So a little, little gap there actually, uh, an even smaller off-roader from Suzuki.

The X 90.

Yeah.

It's kind of a lot of the same.

I think it is actually built on the same chassis to tell you the truth.

If I remember the framework and everything, um, but it is what an endearing

little, little craft that is.

I mean, it's a Hellcat engine away from being the least practical thing ever built.

Like it's, it at least gets decent gas mileage and is reasonably

reliable.

It's got that going for it, but a two seat with a trunk and a tea top.

Were they all tea top or was that an option?

I don't remember knowing the numbers.

I think the production numbers were super small.

It was only like two or three years they sold them.

I bet they were all, I bet they were all tea tops.

Right.

They couldn't give up.

They couldn't give up the structural rigidity to take the whole top off.

Yeah.

No, it's, um, what a very silly thing.

They're all that like purplish blue color in my mind.

To me, they're pink.

That, that magenta.

Oh, yeah.

That one sun beaten.

There's some red salmon magenta, black, red, red bull, silver and blue.

But yeah, I mean, what a that's, I mean, that's to talk about a car

that will never be built again.

Like that is just beyond the beyond the pale.

Never be considered to be built again.

Yeah.

I really wish they would have come out earlier with that design because it was

definitely a product of the nineties.

Everything's rounded.

There isn't a flat surface on the entire exterior design, but, um, and that was

kind of the thing, right?

Especially 95, right?

Everything was rounded.

We got out of the boxiness and I think if they built one that was more akin to

like a samurai or early sidekick, like a first gen sidekick, I think that could

have looked super gnarly as a two, two door, two-seater setup.

Yeah.

It's, um, I just have to look it up real quick.

Um, over the production run, about 7,200 were sold here in North America.

And that was years, right?

Yeah.

Ninety six, ninety seven, ninety eight.

And, um, they only sold like 1348 in, in Japan.

And that was it.

Like they, that was almost all of them were sold here in North America.

And there were not.

It's a pretty rare truck.

Pretty, pretty rare rig.

Um, yeah, I would, um, I would eat a live mouse, I think.

Uh-huh.

To get a clean one.

Yeah.

They're always beaten to shit though.

Oh yeah.

They're always absolutely ruined.

And it's, you know, low production number.

Those things probably people thought they were so weird looking because I mean,

the sidekick and tracker are weird to an extent, but they're, they're good looking.

This, the X 90 is kind of just, it's goofy.

It's just fun.

This is like capital maximum goofy.

Yeah.

I do want one too.

And I'll take a kind of rough one to bring back, but, and then the other thing is,

it's like the via cross tax for whatever reason.

Those X 90s, when you do you see a decent one, God, they're a little, little pricey.

By the way, I just looked it up.

I thought I was like, I wonder what like an exotic that might have like a similar

production number be.

So I just searched up like, Oh, like how many, how many for like 360 ferrari's did

they make?

Hmm.

Uh, like 18,000.

So like, so common, bro, roughly 10,000 more 360s than this X X 90.

And I promise you, there are more, a higher percentage of 360s left in good shape.

A hundred, then X 90, probably by a hundred percent.

Like I bet you, you know, if let's say 70% of the 360s are left on the

left, on the road or close to being on the road, there's probably 20% of the X 90

production left.

That is wild.

Yeah, we, we got to own one of those.

I think it's a, I think it's a given at this point that we deserve.

Okay.

We're in, we're in 95.

We're going to 2010.

We need to step up our pace here, man.

So, uh, Grand Vitara comes out.

Oh, so we skipped one.

This is kind of, blah, 96.

The esteem came out.

Maybe I would argue the, the worst of the early, it gets worse.

It gets worse.

I mean,

the way aside.

Okay.

Don't spoiler alert.

Um, but the Suzuki esteem, uh, better call Saul had a yellow one.

That's all I got to say about that.

Okay.

So cool.

Um, after that, Grand Vitara from 1998 was the first year of the Grand Vitara.

Actually think they're pretty cool.

Yeah.

You know, the styling is not nearly as interesting or cool as the earlier cars.

Yeah.

A little bit of the elements in there, a little boxiness, uh, with those,

those early 90 or the 98 ones, 99, um, low range gear box is cool.

I'm going to do it.

Yeah, I, I have, I've had, um, I had that one for not very long, the silver one

that I had.

Yeah.

You're like the first 48.

Yeah.

First 48 episode that you own that thing.

Yeah.

Beep, beep, no, that's 24.

Damn it.

Um, damn it, dude.

I never watched first 48.

I just, I, if we have like the crime happens at the beginning.

I know 48 hours to, and that was your ownership experience.

And if I don't unload it within 48 hours, then, um, uh, some sort of crime

will never be solved.

Um, that's, that's how that works.

Um, but yeah, that, you know, uh, to that one had the two, five V six auto four

buy, and I believe all the grand or gland Vitares were four doors.

And then the standard, the standard glandectomy version is the, the two doors.

Which is the Chevy tracker at that time period.

Uh, but you can, they also have the Chevy tracker in the four doors as well.

That's right.

Yep.

But when they switched it to Vitares from sidekick was the one they had the

Chevy tracker and so the, because Gio wasn't with us anymore.

Unfortunately, rest, rest in, rest in pieces.

2002 saw Suzuki release the Ario.

Next.

Good little car.

The wagon, the S X wagon.

I wrote it S X wagon, yellow manual.

That's all I'm going to say.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Was there, um, correct me if I'm wrong, was there like its own like

Ario cup or something on Gran Turismo four?

Oh, was there?

I know there was like the vits.

Yeah.

The Toyota vits, which is the, I want to say there was like an Ario, like an

Ario only do not remember that.

I think you just have to have a four wheel drive hatchback.

And so you ended up with the Ario.

So I don't think we had, we did not have four wheel drive in the Ario here in the

States, not until you could get it.

Not until four, it'll be coming.

That's a later offering.

I thought not in the wagon, you couldn't get an all wheel drive wagon.

That would be epic.

That would, yeah, you, if you could find me a yellow all wheel drive Ario wagon.

Yes.

Right.

And it's a hatch.

Let's be real.

Yeah.

It's a, it's cool.

Digital gauge cluster.

Who needs an S 2000?

Um, anyway, next 2004.

Forensa.

And I'm just skip that one because you can get a 2004 Verona.

They both suck.

One's a midsize, one's a compact and they just, they suck, Frank.

Neither one of those cars is worth a shit.

Sorry.

I can't remember the last time I've seen one.

Exactly.

That's certainly a Verona.

I mean, the Verona was utterly just non competitive.

Like I don't, I don't.

Yeah.

It was the vanilla cardboard flavor of Suzuki's of the time.

You could sing my Verona in it.

I guess you could, you could add a little flavor.

But anyway, we'll skip those guys.

That's not fun.

Oh, five Reno, the Suzuki Reno, which was their attempt at making a hot hatch

in the tuner age.

Uh, I'll tell you a story.

I went to a Best Buy in 2005.

No, but they had a Reno, like a show mini showroom going on and they had like

all the Best Buy audio equipment stuff you could do.

And at the time, Best Buy was doing like car modifications.

So I had like aftermarket wheels on it and I was like, and even in my 2005 mind,

I was like, this is too much guys.

Uh, it was pretty bland.

Uh, I don't think the reception was too hot of it.

Now that's, that's a car I haven't seen in a long time.

Yeah.

I'm curious how long they carried that, that nameplate for, because I don't

remember lasting too long.

If, yeah, if this is a theme with Suzuki guys.

Right.

It was a lot, it was a lot of like throwing pop noodles at the wall and seeing

what sticks four years, 05 to 08.

Oh, so I had some legs.

Uh, but anyway, Reno, uh, the next one is, I would put this in the, actually,

I'm actively would buy one if I find a nice one, the SX4 in 2007, which is

its own model and on the fly push button, uh, all wheel drive, which I think is

super cool and you can get a six speed manual.

It's kind of like a slightly lifted hot hatch, maybe not hot, slightly

lifted hatch, mediocre hatch.

Right.

Yeah.

I think they're cool.

I think they look neat.

Yeah.

No, I'll give it that.

It, um, it's an interesting thing because it's just like, it's a cool

software.

I wish it makes like these products, the Reno that makes me wish they were

launched state side in, in 86, 87, 88, 89, like sure in that era, because I

prom, like Suzuki in, in Japan certainly had cars in these, uh, segments.

They just, we just never got them.

Even Europe, the Swift carried on, right?

Like you get a modern Swift.

Like I wish we got that some of the Suzuki because there were some cool stuff.

I mean, there was the, um, um, God, I can't remember.

Like, cause we even, like we got some of the Azuzu stuff in the stylus and some

of that stuff was fun in the impulse.

And I wish we got the, the Suzuki offering.

We just never did, which is a shame.

Cause I think by the time we did get them, it was stuff like this, the Verona and

the Reno.

I will say the SX four is better.

It's an interesting pack.

Like as a daily, that like ethos have been in like, you know, 1993.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, not all cylinders.

Oh, seven.

We'll be telling you, um, right into the teeth of the financial crisis.

These things are incredible deals.

If you could score a six-speed manual SX four for like three to $4,000, that's

got cool, interesting daily, practical daily all over it.

Fuel economy was good.

The selectable all wheel drive in case there's weather where you live, it's a hatch.

I, I kind of feel for it, dude.

I kind of, I think I could use that as a cheap daily and get away with it.

Yeah.

No, you're right.

I think it's, um, versus a Verona.

The SX four brings a lot more.

No, the Verona, the Verona is, I said before the esteem might be the worst.

Yeah.

I think the Verona is the Verona's and, and, and, and, you know, not to call forward,

but when we get to what might be the next car or maybe the car after.

Oh, I kind of like the next one now.

All right.

Okay.

So maybe this is one.

This is where I think they, they fixed some of the wrongs of the Verona.

If it's what I'm thinking of, go ahead.

What do you got?

Yours is later down the list.

Okay.

That's what I thought.

I thought there was one in between.

Unless you're going to go XL seven.

Yes, we are.

We're staying in 2007.

The same year that the SX four was out, the XL seven, which is Suzuki's three

grand SUV.

With selectable, I think that some of those had low range selectable gearbox.

If I remember correctly, and there's proper three rows body on frame, the

best three row SUV or the cheapest three row SUV you can probably buy right now.

You can get one for like three.

Just look.

So for, I was looking at these for our budget overlander, get the fuck out of

here because it's basically the grand grand Vitara is you got, you had the

Vitara, the two door, then you had the grand Vitara, the four door, and then you

got the grand grand Vitara, which they call the XL seven for extra long seven inch,

which I think is like pretty close.

That's extra long.

It's definitely a pop average.

Well, God damn it.

It's also actually first off, son of a bitch.

Secondly, I'm pretty sure statistically that's extra long in America, my friend.

Yeah, now we're upset.

It's on it's on the the down the the backside of the the bell end curve.

I don't want to hear where your back end, the back end of your bell.

Oh, no, I'm right at the tip of the bell end curve.

Let me tell you, I'm I'm I'm Mr.

Average, the XL seven is, yes, I guess statistically slightly longer than average.

Also, body on frame.

Yep, low range, full clunkety clinkety clackety transfer case.

Although actually, I think some of them later were pushed button.

They switched them over here.

Switched, yeah.

And you got the two seven V six, which is just like the two five from the grand

Vitara Vitara with just like hunched it out power.

Yeah, and like 20 pound extra feet of torque or something to that effect.

But they're free and they're due to be capable off road.

And you can get them in a manual, which they're hard to get, but they're out there.

Weird. Yeah.

Um, so, yes, a manual three row body on frame.

Like chef's kiss, like what what a potentially cool overlanding package.

I found one that was absolutely sharded on and ruined.

And I did find one that was two wheel drive manual.

But I couldn't I couldn't quite find the right one, which is a shame.

But yeah, these are cool.

If it came down to like they're dumb, but they're cool.

They're kind of cool.

They're kind of they're cool for dumbasses like you and I.

They're not they're not offensive looking either.

I find the design to be pretty good, just like the SX four.

How baller would it be if you had your SX four for your daily commute?

And then the family outings, yeah, kids, fuck the SX four.

We're getting in the XL seven today.

And they're like, here's the thing, I bet you even like in period,

the marketing manager or the the CEO of Suzuki North America, you know,

the president Suzuki wouldn't even consider that.

Like there's nobody nobody would have done that, like, you know,

maybe like the regional manager of like the West Coast dealer distribution

network or something who who only made like $180,000 a year

and like got them like heavy discount as like a lemon law buyback or something.

She had like what would do that?

Like very quickly.

You could have that driveway today for six grand.

Let me just let me just reiterate that point still though.

Hard to do. Hard to do.

Yeah, hard to find one for sure.

Next up is a fun one that I had totally Frank and like we between

definitely between us, we have a fucking unhealthy amount of obscure

call car knowledge models and years and features and trim levels.

This one totally escaped my mind until I started doing research for this episode.

It's not a badge engineering job, is it?

It is a badge engineering job.

The the acquaintance the last time you saw an equator.

Oh, you know what?

I feel like I've seen one within the last six months.

I saw one maybe in the last five years, I saw one.

Yeah, right here. Just kidding.

It's a frontier.

They just don't exist.

There's it.

Dude, it's so about a lazy badge engineering job.

Oh, zero, zero effort.

It's it's like taillights in a grill.

This is passport rodeo levels of badge engineering back then.

Yes. Yeah, it makes it.

It makes the S.S.S. the S.L.X. look like he's kind of work.

A lot of effort.

Dude, I I wouldn't hate.

I wouldn't kick an equator out of bed.

How sick would that have been like the overlanding play?

So they that's a smart move

because they got the did they get the VQ 40 like every other fucking.

Yeah, or or I think the.

I don't remember their four cylinder.

There was a four cylinder as well.

I don't think it was the the or 25.

Wait, you could get a frontier four cylinder.

Oh, now it would have been the second gen of the frontier.

I don't I don't know if that's true, really.

In the two wheeled on four by two.

Oh, wasn't it the Ultima like the that's what I'm saying.

I don't I don't I think it was I think it was somewhat different.

That's the QR. I think that's the QR 25.

I think yeah, yeah, I think it is a version of the Ultima engine

because that's all the VQ 40 is just a punched out 350 Z motor.

You know, yeah, no, it is.

It's but I think I I want to say they did something like truck up

the two five like the Centra SE are, you know what?

I've never seen.

So I did see the two wheel drive when I saw it.

Can you get a four by four Equator with the VQ 40?

Yes, that's probably the cheapest way to get that if you do find one.

I think it's got to be your 25 D. Yeah.

So it is the same. It is that same two five.

Ultima, right? Yeah.

Although they're saying it's 152 horsepower in the Equator.

So I don't know. Down a little bit.

Down a little bit. 160 in the Ultima.

Yeah. And then a hundred and seventy one pound feet of torque.

So maybe maybe they do truck a fight a little bit.

Yeah. Big Ultima energy in a Suzuki Equator.

My other car is an Ultima bumper sticker needs to be put on that truck immediately.

Yeah. And of course, because it's

representing Ultima, yours has like a dent in it.

Yeah, it could be I identify as an Ultima and have the bumper hanging off.

Yeah, just just upsetting everybody.

Mostly yourself. You just cry yourself to sleep every night.

Yeah. Right. Where have I gone wrong?

Dude, let's get Equators.

Let's Equator bros.

Oh, man.

That's a stretch even for us.

Yeah. It's yeah.

Imagine just having it in your driveway.

You're like, yeah, you know, my wife drives an SUV and I drive.

I drive a truck and you've got your Azuzu Equator

and your wife is driving the.

I can't believe you called in this.

Sorry. Well, I was crossing by a Suzuki Equator, I was going to say,

and Azuzu Ascender.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

So you have like the badge engineering.

So much good shit. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah.

Equator, find one near you, I suppose.

Kind of want to look immediately when we get off of this.

But the last one, you for some reason, you mentioned way too much.

The Kazashi came out in 2010.

And this was this was the dying whimper of a breath.

Yep. From Suzuki.

It's a, how do I describe this one?

Another blah, blah, mid-sized sedan.

This one had some sporty touches to it to make it look a little sportier.

Then definitely sportier than a Verona or a Farenza.

I don't even want to say the name, right? I don't even care.

But I think the Kazashi was kind of and I remember the commercials

were pretty wild for these things.

They were really trying to push these things as some kind of sporty

aspiration car, but the Kazashi, if you will.

Yes. So this is what I mentioned earlier when I was talking about the Verona,

because I think while the Verona was, as I said, utterly uncompetitive,

I think the only way it could have been competitive,

trying to combat with a cord and Camry and even shit like Ford Fusion.

High barrier to entry in that sector.

But yeah, Chevy Malibu, which like lower, lower galant.

I think I saw an eight gen galant today

with plastic hubcaps over rusted out steelies.

And I was just like, you see the rust like peeking through the gaps.

Yeah, so bad to the only the only one I would ever consider

is the rally art version of that car, but not the not a GTZ.

Oh, that was seven, Jen.

Oh, eight is the fucking ear.

Yeah. No redemption, but they did sell a rally art version with the

and it came with the I think the fourth gen Eclipse motor.

The three eight get after me.

Yeah, get after me. I did.

It did have to get after me like modern ish Mitsubishi fans.

And then be ashamed.

It's OK.

We're only like two years away from having a rally or galant cross

three row SUV coming our way, I'm sure.

Yeah, we know that badge on it.

What I was trying to say is like the so farona.

Was like out of all of those cars,

I would say it's maybe the most conservative styled.

Oh, hundreds. Absolutely.

Absolutely death nailed that car because the only way it could have.

Had even a puncher's chance is if they said, hey, we're the crazy styled one.

Right. And that's what the Kazashi was because looking at it now,

it looks pretty, pretty damn mild.

Yeah, but I remember at the time being like, whoa, what is that?

That looks sporty and cool and different and young and hip.

You know, hello, fellow kids of a mid-sized crossover.

And like I and it garnered some attention.

And now it wasn't a terribly compelling product beyond that.

But it was a more successful product, certainly than the Verona.

So yeah, 2010, some ruffian in a Kazashi speeds down a busy

center of town street.

Frank's emo hair sloshes to the side as he turns his body and goes,

was that a Kazashi?

Shit. Yeah, exactly.

I I Jesus Christ, it's Suzuki Kazashi.

Yeah, exactly. Jason Bourne. Exactly.

Mm hmm. It said no one ever.

I think it's a part of the deal.

The problem was is they learn that they learn their lesson.

Suzuki, I think.

And here's the thing.

I think Suzuki in the.

Two thousand, the last 15 years of their products in North America.

Was very much.

Honda today without but with none of the brand Cache.

Right. OK.

And what I mean by that is Honda right now is living off of

the Civic, the Accord and the C.R.V.

Resting on their laurels, as someone said.

And and those are decent products.

But those are the only ones that are selling.

Have you seen the little badge on the Accord?

Yeah, exactly.

Talk about the other end of the bell and curve.

But like and and so there are other products are around

and people talk about Honda because of their extremely

successful past, which was, I would say,

is more successful than their present for Honda.

For sure. For sure.

But they do stuff like the the H.R.V.

And the entire Accura lineup and the Ridgeline,

which I think is a somewhat compelling product,

but it's not terribly viable in the marketplace.

Yeah. And the Prelude and this this the the C.R.Z.

And and some of these other stuff that they do passports.

Pretty attractive, though.

It's fine. It's now compared to a butch

to passport with like four inches cut off the wheelbase.

Like go to go to the last generation passport

and compare it to this one. It's a it's a huge sure huge

divergence in style, but but I guess what I'm saying is

anytime they try and Honda today tries to do something,

they kind of like dip their toes in the pool

and they don't really take chances.

They don't commit and and when they and they they learn

they learn some stuff a little too late.

And that's kind of where I see Suzuki.

Twenty years ago, where they they went with the Verona,

they should have said, hey, we're like the 11th place

choice here in the mid side.

Let's let's not try and like let's not limp in with something

and try and maintain 11th place.

Let's take a shot stylistically

because we can't do it technologically.

So we'll take our shot stylistically

and see if we can like jump a few places

because we're the fun one, we're the stand out.

And Hyundai is doing it right now with like the Santa Fe SUV

with the dog bone looking tail lights and whatever.

Right. Yeah.

They didn't do that.

And then they did do it too late with the Kazashi.

Sure, I was.

They launched that like directly into the teeth of the the the failing economy.

And now we don't have Suzuki anymore.

Right. You know what?

Didn't limp in the XL seven as hard as fuck.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

But go back. I think you nailed it.

They were they were always

Suzuki's even brand new were always positioned very low

on the financial spectrum, right?

Like to get into a Suzuki was always cheaper

than its other Japanese counterparts.

Definitely anything from Honda, Toyota, or even at that time, Mitsubishi.

Right. They were still selling better stuff, maybe not better, but more.

But you go back to like the early 2000s.

I think the area is cute, fun, the styles weird digital gauges.

No reason did that thing need digital gauges, but it's there.

I feel like I used to see areas with some regularity.

They did sell like they sold a bunch of them.

The sedans are fucking ugly, bro.

But the wagons. Those hatches are cool.

Yeah, it's not a wagon. It's a hatch.

It's dude, it says SX.

And it says SX wagon online, Frank.

I know. Look it up.

I don't care.

It's a WX is a hatchback, too, but I call it a wagon.

You know, we're going to roll with it, bro. We're going to roll with it.

I think they're cool.

I think they had a lot of interesting things going on.

And I think that helped them stand out in the market,

especially when you were looking for a what at that time,

seven year old, you know, Honda Civic would be the same price point.

And you could get a brand new area that's kind of fun and interesting,

get a manual digital gauge cluster.

It's cool. Like a digital gauge cluster,

15 years after digital gauge clusters were gone.

Yeah, I tell you what, though.

So they sold 55,669

nice areas in the United States over a what is this, a five year run,

four year run, healthy number. Right.

And most of them are three.

They sold almost 20,000 units, which doesn't sound like a lot.

And it's not a lot, but, you know, compared to

everything else that that company did, I don't know how many Verona's they sold.

But not many, you know, it's I don't know.

I just and I don't want to beat the dead horse

to completion, but no, the

Mr. Hands, it's going to be more than an Excel sum.

Let me tell you, yeah, yeah, seven hands.

Oh, hey, the.

Like I had I've talked about this a bunch.

We talked about it with the Honda Prelude.

We talked about it when we've tried to like revamp some dead and dying brands,

which we've done before Mitsubishi and Alpha and on and on and on Buick.

We're like, if you're if you're the smaller player, Nissan,

if you're the smaller player, you have to take bigger swings.

That's the only it's the only way.

And if they meet you, if he dies, he dies.

But doing nothing or like taking the Suzuki Verona approach

is the surefire way to just die anyways.

Dude, that is some deep car like verbiage.

If you just you're taking the you taking the Verona approach on me right now, bro.

And if someone knows what you're trying to do, then I just imagine

like being a wingman in a club, right?

You're like, don't don't don't Verona.

Don't don't you dare Verona this.

You go up to her right now.

You're fucking here.

I'm I'm buying a I'm buying a Cosmo and you're going to take it to her right now.

Bro, or him. I don't give a fuck.

Yeah, right. You're going to go to somebody in this club

and you're you're going to you're going to just ruin the backseat of my car

because I'm the D.D.

And and just but like you can't you can't just Verona over there.

Here's a a not drugged drink to take to this person.

That's not what Suzuki would do.

They would drug the show there.

But you got to be, bro, you got to lock in.

We're fucking Kazashis.

You know, we are.

We're not. What are you?

We're definitely not a fucking for a chance.

Chance, but chest bumping in the men's room

and like like feeding quarters into the condom machine.

Catching them in your mouth.

All right. So that's all I have for all hail, Suzuki.

So like take away.

Where are their bite marks in this condom?

Shut the fuck up.

Still still still a fucking

still a fucking interesting car because I'm a Kassashi.

Right. Yeah. Kassashi bitch.

You wouldn't understand.

So Suzuki, some models there.

I definitely need to own before I'm out of this mortal existence.

There's some there's some cool cars there.

I think the takeaway here is they're fucking cool.

They're all dirt sheep.

Nothing on this list except for a samurai samurai is the most valuable.

Yeah, I like 200 percent of it.

And then maybe probably side kick side kick.

And then no, everything else is, you know, yeah.

Family dollar, bro.

Regular like soft top Vitara maybe or SX 90.

If you've got a perfect SX 90.

Oh, fair. Yeah.

Good God.

Let's do a Suzuki challenge sometime where you can't pick one of the like

obvious ones, like a side kick or samurai and see what we show up with.

But we'll do like a contour wielding, wielding areas, regardless of how shitty

the model is, let's see who can get the most pristine example.

And we'll do like a concourse challenge.

Oh, that'd be fun.

It has to has to be USDM, right?

Yeah, absolutely.

OK.

Can I show up in like some like 79 K car?

Like, no, it's got to be a it's got to be the sweetest fucking

forensic anyone's ever.

Yes.

Oh, a quater, a quater, bro.

Oh, I love it.

All right, let's should we play a little game?

Yes, I'd like to play a game.

I'll get something going for you, buddy.

All righty. So it's a good one.

What what is this game you ask?

Thank you for asking.

This is our print ad quiz game.

Poorly named, but slightly worse,

better than poorly thought out.

The way this works is Chadwick here in today's episode

has found a print advertisement from some sort of publication

from the 80s, 90s to the mid 2000s.

And he's found an advertisement from that.

And he's going to read this advertisement.

It's for a car.

I get three guesses in 10 minutes to try and guess what this car is

after he reads the type copy from this advertisement.

He's going to redact out anything super overly identifying.

And then I get to just yeah, maybe that's the design anyways.

And then I have to try and figure out what the make model

in approximate year of this vehicle is.

Please play along at home.

It's good fun.

I'm probably going to screw this up

and you're probably going to be yelling at your listening device

or watching device.

And and that's OK.

So revel in my pain, play along and let's have fun.

Chadwick, what you got?

Oh, do I have something for you, my friend?

This is interesting because this is a period.

This this manufacturer, the Adam about to read,

was the theme they used for many of their models.

So this is kind of neat.

Single page.

It shows a moose.

Volvo 740.

Finally, right.

Right. So there is a moose in the very first letter,

like an over-exaggerated letter.

There is a review mirror with a 50 year old man

looking into and then it has the vehicle

totally Dutch angle, three quarter driver's side

going up an incline, pulling a trailer.

So that's where we're at, buddy.

Sorry to try to close the moose out front, should I told you?

The fucking quality of this product is horrible.

So bear with me, I'll switch the glasses halfway through.

Close the missile, switching the guns.

Switching the guns.

Driving rains, jackknife trucks.

Did we just do a jackknife one the other day?

You read a printout?

No, we were we were talking about

so those who are in the know and have been

are paying into the Patreon.

I found out a little tidbit about the Overlander.

Oh, that's where it is.

Sorry, dude, that's overlander.

A few many radies involves

both a jackknife accident on on Christmas Eve

and apparently maybe several

tens, if not, maybe 100,000 miles of rolled back odometer.

Well, oh, jump on the Patreon to find out.

We'll talk about it another day.

Well, we'll have to pay to play.

But yeah, yeah, I found that out

and just as we recorded our boner episode.

So that's what it is.

Anyways, yeah, so driving rains.

So you can relate to this one.

Jackknife trucks, way too many moose.

Last year, Tom Marsh, look it up, real person.

Oh, really, Randy Marsh.

But I knew no bill,

bought a blank four door blank

in Chicago.

You can also look that up.

Loaded up his earthly possessions.

He left his souls and other miscellaneous items.

He shed as more of a coin as early possessions

and left for Alaska in a convoy with a few friends.

When they got to the mountainous Alcan Highway,

Tom's friends decided here's where the font gets the size four.

Tom's friends decided he should lead.

They envisioned having to wait for me to catch up on every hill.

Me easy enough. This isn't the first person.

Yeah, he switched.

Tom's in the in the driver's seat right now.

OK, I didn't know the ad was written

from the first person perspective.

Now it is. It just OK, OK, OK, but it doesn't have any kind of

like like any kind of connecting sentence there.

You just kind of fall into it.

They envision having to wait for me to catch up on every hill.

Easy enough to envision.

Tom was towing a fifteen hundred pound trailer.

Wow. Well, surprise, surprise.

This is Tom again.

I should have developed a Tom voice.

Well, surprise, surprise.

I could pull all but the steepest hills in third gear.

Oh, is this is this a Chicago accent of yours?

Yeah, it was that.

I don't know. The deep dish pizza.

Let me be clear. White socks.

It sounds like the pope.

The blank has a powerful.

This is he really deserves an asterisk probably,

but he's still in a fifteen hundred pound trailer in this case.

Sixteen valve engine.

We ran into rotten weather, horrible accidents and moose.

I don't know if that's because mooses are pluralized.

So we can't. Well, it's you don't pluralize moose.

So who knows?

Could have been one.

It's not it's not it's not meese.

No, no.

Moose side, not.

And then it goes moose.

Question mark.

Sending or standing in the middle of the road,

usually as we came around a sharp curve,

fortunately, the blank also has a rear wheel anti kick break system.

You ready?

Wow. You're getting some tech terms.

Anti kick.

I cannot tell you how dependable the blank is.

He wrote blank. It was so weird.

I'll own one as long as I need a.

Rugged vehicle.

For some reason, I was like, for some reason,

you talking in that voice.

Yeah, and using the way inserting the just the term blank.

It makes me like instead of thinking of like the name of a car,

it makes me think of like some person determined slur.

Yeah, yeah, it is.

Boy, ever since I've owned a blank and it's like, man,

I don't like this Tom guy.

It's like a real asshole.

Yeah, I could always be guaranteed this fun.

It's not my my learning difficulties.

It's like the worst fun.

I could always be guaranteed of getting there and enjoying the trip.

Come rain, snow, sleep or moose.

Frank, what are we talking about today?

That's all you get. You got a 16 valve.

You got pulling a fifteen hundred pound trailer and third gear.

So it's hinting at maybe having a manual.

And that's from Chicago.

You have a lot of information to unpack here, my friend.

Stop acting.

I have a whole bunch of moves.

What am I driving for?

Tom, who I'm assuming is an absolute bigoted monster.

He was the entire trip.

Well, you know what?

Yeah.

If he's bigotedly drunk from Chicago, going to Alaska,

I'm assuming to harass minorities.

I there was never a moose on this trip, by the way.

Yeah, moose is just some like obscure, obscure slur that I don't.

I don't. It's so advanced.

I don't even know like what ethnic group it's referring to.

It was a sleep sleep paralysis demon.

He was experienced while driving.

Hat man is here.

Slender man.

What do you got, Frank?

Like, OK, 15 roughly fifteen hundred pound tow capacity.

I believe you said four doors.

Sixteen valve, which.

It's either they're trying to say it's a reasonably advanced four cylinder

or a comically regular as V8.

Um, third gear makes me think.

Like that it could be an automatic.

Maybe, but maybe a four speed automatic.

Because if you had like if you're in five speed land

and you're like, I climb that hill in third gear, haha, like that feels

kind of idiotic to me, like I downshifted twice.

I have so much power, like, I don't know.

Um, but again, if it is a four cylinder,

which then shouting out the valves, I have to assume

this is a 16 valve four cylinder.

Fifteen hundred pound trailers, pretty, pretty good, though.

Yeah, but like.

Not really. Honestly, they didn't have to wait on the hills.

My like my fucking my fucking Sienna.

Had a thirty five hundred pound tow capacity.

Um, V six, though.

I don't want to hear about your cylinder count.

It did.

Okay.

Um, what do you got?

Right?

Brass, brass tacks.

Oh, it's so dependable.

I have anti kick.

It's okay.

So rear circuit ABS.

Like this makes me think we are.

Oh, we got some time period.

Early 90s, late 80s, because you started seeing this mostly

on trucks where.

Because you had an empty bed.

No weight over the rear wheels and and especially rear drive,

like you can having ABS on a rear circuit only.

ABS has actually like had some value.

Yep.

This thing's got four doors and I don't think this is like a cowboy

Cadillac with a four cylinder in it.

So, oh, boy, I think I'm going to start us out.

Like thematically here to where I can see a world

where this is a what year did they introduce a 16 valve G 16?

If we're going to say Suzuki, because that was a worthwhile upgrade.

It's like, oh, you have the eight valve.

Now you have the 16 valve.

You got like I don't think so as an eight valve truth.

I'm going to go ahead and claim that statement.

He's trying to throw me off off the center.

So I actually read true story on the off road portion.

They said the eight valves made their made their torque pause the clock.

The eight valves make their torque down low, a little lower.

So it's better for off-roading.

But anyway, it sounds like excuse making to me.

TBI for life.

Yeah, big energy and he's gone.

God, OK, Randy Marsh's cousin Tom Marsh.

I think I'm going to say this is a nineteen ninety four.

Suzuki sidekick because I could see a world where this has

a fifteen hundred to capacity with a four cylinder available automatic.

Available five speed four doors.

Yeah, I'm going to say this is a tin top ninety four,

ninety five Suzuki sidekick.

But what was it JLX?

I think was a trim level final final answer.

Tom Marsh body Suzuki four door sidekick four by four for the year.

Nineteen ninety four.

That's one ninety four.

OK, it was it was here you go.

Yeah, God, those are cool out there.

They're super.

The four doors are kind of fun, dude, because it has so the unbelievable good greenhouse.

Yeah, of course, because so from that past the end of the first door

forward is all like Suzuki sidekick geotracker,

which is the style I like the big boxiness.

And then the back is kind of like an early forester almost.

It's it's a cool looking truck and it does.

It adds a lot more functionality right with the four doors.

And I think there's a slightly longer wheelbase.

And I think could you get considerably?

Could you get a bigger motor than the 16 valve in that generation?

Or is that it? Definitely later, you can get a two liter.

And then the the two five six and the the Gran Vitara's.

But yeah, I know, not ninety four.

Definitely not. Yeah, that was that was it, right?

Big block. Yeah, that's it.

That's a big block, the 16 valve unit.

Good job, my man.

And I did keep it thematic.

You we always try to do that every once in a while for fun.

But that's a good ad.

Jackknife trucks and moose everywhere.

I know. And just like this monstrously bad person, Tom.

Do I wonder if this is like a real guy in your own head, man?

It is. No, no.

He put that there or actually your voice, your voice and struggling

to like squint and read the tiny, the tiny just like it slowed him down.

And then it made me just, yeah.

Dude, it was a combination of my voice and you knowing my questionable background.

I get it. But so that's right.

You go read the ads, Suzuki ads from the mid nineties.

They did this to all their vehicles.

So it's kind of neat and you should definitely explore another one in the future.

It takes a character like maybe it's fictional, maybe not.

It's a full name and they talk about their experience by the certain car.

It's kind of cool that they did that.

And I think that's really cool because we do print ads

and Suzuki was being original.

And I like that. I'm going to look it up.

Tom Marsh, racist.

What do we get?

Am I racist now streaming on?

On the wire plus, God damn it.

We've gone on a rabble hall.

He's definitely clicked that article.

No, I refuse to give the daily wire anything other than a little bit.

Let's celebrate Frank's stunning victory here in Suzuki land

as we're still enjoying it with some PCP that is Project Car Progress.

And we will do the drug PCP to someday tune in for that.

And that'll be probably our last episode.

Any wrenches?

It turns your way.

I could see in case you're not watching and that's a shame.

Jump on YouTube. It's free.

Frank still has a competition orange SVT focus in the background.

You want me to lead off?

Yeah, please do. OK.

First off, would you like a lamp?

I hate this fucking lamp so much.

It just came out of my house.

I don't love here.

The house bunny chewed up the power cord.

Oh, and I was like, oh, man, because because I'm an idiot,

I have a we have a house bunny.

A free range house bunny.

Yeah, he just mobs the house.

He's been electrocuted by chewing on wires enough

that he doesn't really do it as much anymore, which is great.

But this lamp was a part of the victim.

And it's always I'm tripping it over and I wanted to go away.

Let me know.

Do you listen?

I'm not going to mail you on and if you want to come to my.

Yeah, join in our next our 69th

Patreon member, we'll get this fucking lamp.

It's a fucking lamp.

Good.

And then you, too, will love a lamp.

Don't touch the cord plugged in the wall.

It will electrocute you.

So bonus competition, orange.

Lamp. God damn it.

The focus.

Good news and bad news.

So I think last time I talked about this,

I was doing the rear struts.

Yes, or shocks, I should say, which I did.

So those are put back together.

That is done.

I then decided.

In a in a more moment of.

Seemingly great judgment turned out to be poor judgment.

Great.

Because I had a I got to say I had a couple of beverages

and then decided to turn wrenches,

which is not usually a bad idea.

Sorry, Ro occasionally, though, you know, you know,

fuck it, you just like throw caution into the wind.

So I did that.

So first off, the good the good news here.

I good news, then frustrating news, because I'm an idiot.

And then good news and then more frustrating news.

And I'm trying to I for the sake of brevity,

I'll try to not ramble on for the next 18 minutes.

First, good news when I was not one of your strengths, Frank.

This is true.

We're being honest.

Exactly.

This is our first three hour episode.

I found I found something fun

rolling around in the spare the spare tire well.

OK, I found a cop killer.

Oh, is that a hollow point?

I found I found a live.

I think it's a nine millimeter.

It's pretty scrubbed up on the rear,

so I can't really read it, but I'm pretty sure I can't tell

because the camera is distortion on the scale.

Can you hold it sideways again?

Yeah, it looks, I don't know.

That's kind of a chunky boy.

Hard to tell.

I think I think it's a hold on.

I don't have a fucking banana.

It's definitely not a 45.

It looks like a nine. Oh, here.

How about it? No, that's a weird ass battery.

Here's a film because I'm an idiot.

Here's a film canister for scale.

Oh, good.

Thirty five millimeter.

Yeah, not the not the not the not the round,

but the film.

So, yeah, it's it's live.

It's a hollow point.

Winchester rifle, though.

That's pretty interesting.

OK, go ahead.

Really? Oh, that's fun.

Yeah, it's interesting.

So, yeah, so it's a live round.

It's it's a it's a Luger is what I said.

Nine millimeter Luger.

Yeah, which I didn't know a Ruger.

That would be no, it's definitely an L.

Yeah, Luger, Luger.

OK, I just think of like weird.

That's an old German parable parabolic bullshit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyways, so I found this.

That's fun.

And then I just said, you know what?

I'm on a roll, baby.

I still have some parts that I like bought

and I should roll it for the next 30.

So, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 11 rounds.

Listen, the man in the record, man in the box

by Allison Chains for the 20th time in a home.

Oh, yeah, that was even better.

He's in control.

I want to.

OK, it's good.

I I took a dark turn.

Sorry, it's all in dark term here.

Dark turn, quick side note upon side note upon side note.

Here we go.

Allison Chains unplugged the best.

So good. So good, dude.

Yeah, it's it's.

Oh, I have that on vinyl, which is fucking legendary.

Yeah, it's so good, dude.

I need that on vinyl.

I've got dirt on vinyl.

I've got a few other albums.

Yeah, unplugged is like like I'm kind of some of it is.

And anyways.

So I found a live round.

That's fun.

I decided, hey, I've had I've had a couple of of the beverages.

I have some parts that I bought and I was going to sell.

Let me just like I'm here.

Let me just do the fucking spark plugs.

And let me just do the valve cover gasket.

Valve cover gaskets leaking.

It's good time to do it unknown.

I pull the I pull the

pull the four boots off.

I look in there, there's oil pooling, especially cylinder number one.

On top of the spark plug.

Yeah, not enough to like rounding it yet.

Yeah, it's just the valve cover.

OK, and you can there's external leaking around.

Great.

Valkyrie.

So you pull it out and it's so at the bottom.

I pull it.

Valve train up top.

Sparkling looks great.

Not even like a little bit of like you'll get like a yellowy tinge

from like used oil.

Yeah, none of that.

It's like brilliant looking.

Oh, chef's kiss. Great.

If you'll wash the entire valve train.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I look at the cam where it looks great.

Everything looks great. Cool.

Gaskets, it's just a rubber gasket, no scrappy scrape.

Nothing I've got to do.

Just pull it off, whatever.

I checked the timing about while I'm there

because it's it's good by mileage.

It's overdue by a couple of years.

It looks perfect, which is not that's not how you judge a timing belt.

We know, but like, OK, like if I had, but we're talking about Frank here.

Well, no, I just if it was like sticking to the budget,

if I was going to send it on the rally, sure, you would have been fine.

I would have been more than fine.

Yeah, until you're not, right?

That's how I mean, that's exactly how that goes.

Seemingly like it was not a ticking time bomb, right?

You you and I have both seen time time.

We also go, oh, it's like a couple of threads closer.

Yeah, yeah, lots of cracking or whatever.

But this is like still like the printed ink on the outside of it.

Looks like it all looks really good.

OK, so as I said, had a couple of just go put it back together

and just got my got my like really like low torque,

just rechargeable Harbor Freight ratchet.

Put the put the time put the new gasket on the valve cover,

put it all back down and I get to like one of the last few bullets.

And I get I hear a pop and a pop.

Is that a plastic valve cover on that one?

No, it's a cast aluminum. OK.

But the bolt I sheared the head off the off the bolt on the valve cover.

All right.

Undo it all.

So I look up because, again, had a couple of beverages and I'm an idiot.

And I'm just like in the groove, listening to music, doing shit, right?

Well, now is when I look up the torque spec on this on these on these bolts.

What do you think?

What do you think of average torque spec is on a valve cover bolt?

Probably like 16 inch pounds at most.

OK, yeah, this was roughly 16 inch.

Am I having a problem?

It's a matter of like a few hundred one pounds.

Yeah, but I think it was, yeah, like 20.

I think it's like 20 inch pounds. OK.

And I wasn't sending it.

But like, yeah, I'm just like whatever, just like snug, just real quick.

Once it starts to click a little bit, just done.

And I got so it was like the last third is the the center on the the back side of the head.

OK. Why didn't you go from the center out like you're saying, Frank?

I did. No, sorry.

By backside of that, I mean, like if it was if it was longitudinal.

Oh, right. Rear of cylinder four.

Got you. Got you. Right in the middle.

So it was like the basically the last one.

And it was and a pop.

And it's fucking.

So I take the whole I take it all off and it it snapped like probably a half inch

under the the the top of the head.

Yeah, god damn it.

Do you some drunken drilling?

Did you I did?

I had an easy like an easy out, but this is it's an eight millimeter.

Oh, yeah, it's not it's it's time.

So there's like nothing to work with.

So.

Long story short is I eventually I went I bought I bought some left handed

just the auto parts store down the road.

I bought they had a set in stock, just left handed drill bits. Wow.

Started to get on the smallest one, right?

I was like, let me start small.

Because then I at least I'm drilling so I use a center punch.

I hit it with a center punch.

I get to start a little get a little bit going and it barely bites.

And then the bit just fucking exploded explodes.

Yeah, parts store bit.

God damn it.

Thankfully, I heard it like hit on the other side of my garage, not into the cylinder head.

So then OK, let me do the next size up and I get it to bite and I get it to.

It does like maybe three rounds like rotations out like, OK, great.

Boom, blows up again to the next size up is too big.

So I end up going to a couple of days later.

Long story short, it cost me like three fucking hours, right?

Yeah, that's between going back to the store and going to the store again,

whatever, I got a minute job to hang tight.

It's right here.

Oh, here's a broken drill bit too.

Go figure the parts store drill bits broke.

This is wonderful listening.

Broken drill bit number one for those watching broke and drill bit number two.

Wow, the craftsmanship day here it is.

So I got it out.

It is nice.

Do you have a headphones to cap it?

And me hearing.

Yeah, there we go.

Is so I just the funny thing is that the onset of this PCP said,

I don't want to go on for I know, I know.

But then I said, I still will.

And it's been I'm looking at the clock now.

It's been eight and a half minutes.

So halfway to 19 minutes.

So just real quick.

So now I got to find a replacement bolt.

Great. Yeah, call up Ford.

I can't go. They don't answer their phone.

OK, this is on a Saturday, last Saturday drive down there.

Guy goes, order, do you have the VIN number?

Like, fuck, no, but give me a minute, I can find it.

It's like, no, I just he's grumpy.

He's like, I found it on here.

You got to order at least four.

I can't say you want, but I'll say you four.

There. It's shipping in its like $17 and whatever, it's fine, whatever.

Here you go.

Right? So then like four days later, it comes in, I pick it up.

This is now Sunday.

So a couple of days ago from from time of recording.

I go, I put it.

It's too long, they saw me the wrong one.

They saw me the one, even though I said,

and I offered him, I was like, hey, I've got the VIN number.

Do you want to look it up at VIN?

He's like, no, I've got it now, it's fine, fuck it.

Okay, no, it's wrong.

So now we go in there, I return it, and they're like,

oh, the SVT here by VIN, can't get it,

completely discontinued.

I look online, can't get it, completely discontinued.

And it's got like a collar on it.

It's not just like a regular ass bowl.

It's got like a collar on it.

Of course not.

Because it's got a seal that like presses

into the valve cover around the exterior of it.

So as of right now, I have two options.

I, A, I found a cracked, not a cracked,

but like a chipped valve cover on eBay for $100

that has all of the bolts in it.

Okay, so $100 for a fucking bolt

with an extra valve cover that I don't need.

Or I found somebody selling a running, driving,

but someone stole the cat off of it, SVT on marketplace

for $800 for a bolt.

But you could come, you could have some upside

on the, if it is just a cat.

I don't, I know, I don't have to.

You could two for one, you could sell two SVTs next.

I know, I don't have the time for this bullshit.

I just wanna see your final budget.

I wanna see your final budget

on this cheap rally car.

I mean, I could turn a profit.

I don't have the fucking time.

And any SVT heads out there.

And apparently this is a thing like,

I found like forum posts from like several years ago.

We're like, well, if you go to a pick and pull,

like nobody, like it's just not.

No, no, no, not now.

Because I had a couple of too many ciders

and I wasn't paying attention.

And it's, eh, I'll just buzz this down

and burp, burp, burp, burp, and you know, what, you know,

what, oops.

Hand tools, bro, on valve covers.

I never, ever use power tools.

I know. Ever, ever.

I was vibing.

Oh well.

You were in the mood.

You were like, full, full send.

Yeah.

I was like, I'm gonna do it right.

I'm gonna follow the, I'm going center out.

I'm gonna do the fucking install procedure

and then pop.

What Frank didn't show is he had his air tool

like positioned over it.

And he goes, nah, I'm better than that.

I'll take my little.

Yeah, it actually threw the hood off

and was standing over it.

Just sending it with a three eighth inch impact.

Yeah.

That sucks, bro.

I can relate.

Just send a self tapping screw in there.

No one will know.

Yeah.

Yeah, just like an enormous amount of like

Honda bond or something.

Yeah.

Destroy the valve cover.

That sucks, dude.

That was too long, but as, as, as advertised.

How about you?

Yeah, no, you get, you're for it.

Yeah, what you don't pay for.

We're keeping it thematic.

The GeoTracker, my 95 GeoTracker.

And we're staying with Suzuki today.

It's had a little issues.

So, you know, older, older trucks and cars

always get a little crunchy when you downshift it too high

of a speed, right?

Like you ever get that crunchiness.

It's pretty standard on older trucks,

second and first gear.

It hated unless you were at a exact stop.

Come to find out the truck has low mileage.

So it shouldn't be doing that.

Sure.

Something else too is the clutch pedal stopped

coming all the way up.

It would get kind of hung up halfway

and then I could kick it up.

This is not a hydraulic clutch.

This is a cable car truck.

The final straw was I went to start it one day

and it was no crank, no start.

And I was like, something's going on with this fucking clutch.

So somehow I went, I was out and I got at home

and I'm like, let me look at this thing.

So I make Teddy, my nine year old son,

crawl under the dash because that's a pain in the dick

in that truck to get your head under there.

So look at the clutch pedal assembly

and all the connections.

He's like, dad, this part's like super floppy.

And there's like this little kind of like pivoty hood,

like a hook piece that goes on the actual clutch pedal.

And he's like, I can hear him jingling with his finger.

And I'm like, oh yeah, that's bad.

So, and then I go under the car,

I go to where the clutch, it hooks to the transmission.

And I'm like literally pulling and there's no play.

So it seized.

That's why it wasn't, that first and second

was because it wasn't fully pulling the clutch

separate and clutch.

The cable seized.

The cable seized within the housing.

In the sheath, yeah.

Yeah, and that's why there was no,

the pedal wasn't coming back

because there was nothing to return on.

The spring was pulling it all the way,

but the rest is caused by the cable coming back.

So dude ordered one for like 24 bucks.

Okay.

Maybe a half hour to do a perfect installer.

I make sure I torque everything correctly and do it right.

What's that like?

So I got under it with my fucking 700 pound,

half inch impact.

So dude, easy job, put it in.

It drives, it's a brand new truck, dude.

Like first and second butter, every shift,

butter spring, the shock feels like it just, it's like new.

That's why I love, I fucking love clutch cables

over hydraulics.

Cause you're not doing the slave and master

and then, you know, bleeding that for like 20 days

to try to get it perfect.

It just replaced the cable.

You ever been like, boy, I feel like kind of sick

for like two weeks or whatever.

And then you take some like, you go to the doctor

and they like give you some antibiotics or whatever.

And then like the next day, you feel like an absolute God

cause you don't realize how long you've been sick

and how like you boiled the frog.

And now they're like, oh my God,

this is what being healthy feels like.

Holy shit.

Like that's what that type of job is.

We're like, this has been so shitty for so long.

And now that it's fixed and like transforms everything.

I love the 24 fucking dollars and a half hour of time.

So this is the argument for Suzuki.

We came full circle.

Get it, get a tracker or sidekick guys.

These things are a absolute jam.

Something goes wrong.

A modern car doesn't shift or doesn't start.

No crate, no start.

And you're having shifting problems.

You're at least five grand in with diagnostics.

I'm 24 bucks in and my tracker is new.

Well, to be fair, let me be clear.

A nine year old is significantly more expensive

than a $5,000 diagnosis.

If you have a child on hand to throw to the mechanical wolves

and have them like use their tiny hands

for diagnosis purposes.

It was so useful and then I had to get under or do it.

What a pain in the butt.

But that job kind of sucks actually.

But fuck dude, what a game changer dude, that little thing.

Like you said, it's like that in engine mounts.

Just do them.

It's worth every penny and every amount of sweat,

blood and tears you lose.

But let's shut it down dude.

Real quick like, so thanks for listening guys.

As always, feel free to review the pod

wherever you're listening.

Check us out on YouTube.

We also are every episodes on there.

Subscribe high if you're watching on YouTube.

Leave some crazy comments on the videos.

I love, we have a lot of engagement on YouTube.

But I like that.

It's kind of becoming a whole thing.

It's becoming a real thing.

And on top of that, we have our Patreon,

APA's pod, something, something on Patreon.

Patreon.com forward slash APA pod.

And also like the mostly largely abandoned Instagram,

please send us horrible inviting scam bait.

Cause we get a lot of that.

So let's stack more of those.

Anything baiting, I'm into it.

But also, yeah, for my own personal stuff,

auto obscure garage, gonna reveal the cheap overlander

built soon, which is going to be kind of fun to do.

It's already, it's, it's, it's already,

it's going to, it's either now, but not on,

I'm not out of respect for the game.

I didn't mention it on my YouTube yet.

So that'll be coming where I do an intro video

and you can see all the issues.

Frank has seen it in real life.

And I will say that Frank's overlander

is so much cleaner than mine.

Like a different echelon cleanliness.

But like, by the time this airs,

we've already aired that episode.

The mystery.

The episode of the dropped.

Yeah.

Not your video.

Yeah. You haven't seen me in spec mine yet.

So tune in for that.

If you want to see all the little issues,

is the best way I can first that.

Frank, how about you, man?

Any, any tips where the guys can find out

where your world-class photography is?

Usually they already know, unless they don't.

Just the photographer's garage,

some Instagram, a pinch of YouTube.

I'm just wildly busy with stuff.

I got to hang out with a 72 Alpha Montreal,

which is kind of a hero car of mine.

And so I got to drive it two days ago.

And I'm really pumped on it.

2.6 dual overhead cam V8 is just.

Are you double PCPing right now?

No, it's not mine.

It's an animal.

My project car progress.

But yeah, so that's the thing.

But no, like most importantly, just keep coming back here.

This is, that's like more serious stuff

that like pays my bills.

This very decidedly does not pay my bills.

It's the opposite, I think.

It's actually a drain on my social life and.

The most important resource in the world, time.

It loves to vampire suck that right out of your, whatever.

It's milking my time.

Your XL7.

Yes, it's the XL7 of my life.

So no, thank you for being here.

Let's do it again next week.

Tell everyone, Congress, I don't know.

Tell people, write your senator about it.

They'll ignore you because that's what they do.

And yeah, until next time.

Peace out guys.

Oh God, how do I end this?

Episode #219 - All Hail Suzuki

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