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Mentorship, Accountability, and Personal Growth with Andrew Fischer, Part 1
Mentorship, Accountability, and Personal Growth with Andrew Fischer, Part 1
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About this episode
Andrew Fischer shares his journey through the automotive industry, emphasizing the importance of mentorship, humility, and personal growth. He discusses his early influences, including his grandfather's passion for learning and the challenges he faced as a young technician. Andrew reflects on the impact of failures on his success, the significance of accountability, and the lessons learned from teaching. The conversation highlights the need for emotional resilience and the value of community support in overcoming personal struggles.
Topics:
mentorship
personal growth
accountability
failure as a teacher
emotional resilience
community support
career challenges
networking
teaching experiences
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Today Andrew Fischer shares what shaped his career path, including family health issues and rebellious teenage years. Jeff and Andrew discuss coping mechanisms and how important accountability is in overcoming personal struggles. Andrew also highlights his journey from feeling burnt out at a GM dealership to finding renewed motivation at the Super Saturday event, emphasizing the value of mentorship and networking in the industry.
06:31 Passionate about cars and skilled with machines.
07:45 Teenage trouble moved back with Grandpa.
10:34 Employers acknowledge both brilliance and mistakes.
14:43 Sometimes I overthink and make mistakes.
19:43 Learning transmissions, inspired by Brandon Stackler.
20:25 Attending event in Chicago after career burnout.
24:12 New teacher feels pressure, not at fault.
26:56 Struggled with teens, and job loss during the pandemic.
30:25 Learning to support without being consumed emotionally.
34:15 Overcoming past, proud, grateful for friendships.
36:57 Prefers solitude but values accountability and support.
41:17 Jaded Mechanic podcast: part two next week
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No annotations found
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Passionate about cars and skilled with machines.
Teenage trouble moved back with Grandpa.
Employers acknowledge both brilliance and mistakes.
Sometimes I overthink and make mistakes.
Learning transmissions, inspired by Brandon Stackler.
Attending event in Chicago after career burnout.
New teacher feels pressure, not at fault.
Struggled with teens, and job loss during the pandemic.
Learning to support without being consumed emotionally.
Overcoming past, proud, grateful for friendships.
Prefers solitude but values accountability and support.
Jaded Mechanic podcast: part two next week
Select text to request an explanation
My success, but if that's what you want to call it, is built upon years and years of failure. And I'm okay with that. You know, I'm okay with that today. I'm okay with making a mistake, making a bad call today. It took a long time to get there, but here we are, and I'm okay. Like, I don't. I don't have to be the smartest guy in the room anymore, because if I am, I need to walk out to begin with.
Welcome back. Back to another exciting episode of the Jade Mechanic podcast. I'm over the moon happy about this one because this is a good friend of mine, newer friend of mine, but a good friend of mine that I have been dying to try and get our schedules aligned. I first saw him on YouTube. Like, I tend to find all of my, you know, people I fanboy over, and I'm with Andrew Fisher of facts training, and Andrew is, I first signer with royalty auto service. And so, uh, if you haven't checked out royalty yet, and Sherwood and the. In the family, um, everybody really should. Um, but I saw Andrew was in a lot of the videos, and I was just like, what a professional dude.
The way he conducts himself, the whole shop is like that. So I was just immediately like, Andrew, we have to. We have to connect. So, Andrew, how are you this afternoon, buddy?
I'm good, man. I'm doing really well. How about yourself?
Like I said, it's. It's. It's been a long time trying to get this set up, and I appreciate everybody's patience. You are a busy guy. Tell us kind of like, what you're up to now.
And, you know, and that's kind of a loaded question. I'm kind of everywhere right now doing training, obviously, with it, with a couple companies. Just got back from STX, was teaching a few classes for CTI, doing some stuff for Worldpac and some other companies. Just trying to. Trying to better the industry as much as possible, you know. Big believer in paying it forward. So, you know, we. We decided to start a company a couple years ago called Facts Fisher Automotive Consulting and training services.
And it's. It's really taken off. I'm going to be at tools here in a couple weeks, and we're going to be doing the sunrise event in July, which I'm really looking forward to.
And then Arizona.
Yeah. Got some other stuff in the works that hopefully it materializes and works out. You know, just want to. Just want to bring some real world experience and try to help some folks and realistically it helps me, too. Like, I feel. I feel you become a much better technician when you have to be an instructor. It forces your hand a little bit. And truthfully, if, you know, if I'm being honest with anybody, it's why I do it.
Yeah. Some of these guys, and I get it, you know, sometimes it's easy to get a little bit of an ego because, you know, you become a face. Right. And I'm trying my best not to let, let that happen. You know, I just want to pay for it, be the guy that I always wanted to be. You know, I've been. I've been extremely blessed in my life and career with great instructors and role models. So, you know, just want to be that guy for, for somebody else and, you know, see some light bulbs go off in the classroom.
That's what it's about.
That's what always came across from you when I would watch you. Is that you, the. The humility and the just the. How do I say it? Just the average tech in the bay, um, kind of, uh, dynamic of you always came across right from the beginning. And I was just like, he's a super smart dude, for sure, but, I mean, there was never, and I'm not saying, don't say that. There's a whole lot of people out there that are. Have an ego. I'm not trying to say that.
No.
You just came across as very approachable, and, uh, and that was what it was like for me, is like, I could sit and watch this guy, you know, do these little five minute videos and teach this stuff all day long because it just, it's very relatable. And, I mean, you know, so you kind of, because you touch on a lot of stuff without really touching back and forth. And it's like you say to me more than once, you would have never thought you'd be here. And you talked about, you've had. Some people would say they would have never thought you would make it to where you are. So kind of give us the backstory on Andrew and why, you know, because to me, I think your sharpest as anything. But why did you, why do you have that kind of osh shucks mentality about it?
So you're going to see a big, burly, tattooed gag get a little emotional here, so bear with me. So it kind of started out, my God bless his soul. My grandfather, he was a shade tree. He loved training, loved getting better, but he didn't do it professionally. He worked as a maintenance guy for a paint factory in south Chicago Heights. And Grandpa was an old Polack, couldn't read his handwriting. So I was like six, seven, eight years old, just learning how to write myself. And he would say, come on, kid, let's.
He'd call me Handy Andy because we had the handy Andy hardware stores back then. And he'd be like, come on, kid, we're going to class. And he took a lot of classes with Ken Zanders. And Ken, in my opinion, is probably the most overlooked trainer out there. I mean, he's just such a great guy. And anybody that's ever seen Kenny teach and then watches me. You get the white version of Ken Zanders. I do a lot of Ken isms just because, I mean, 30 years.
I mean, 30 years I've been in Ken and John Thornton classes because of my grandfather, you know, so it's kind of cool, you know, I got to, I got to hang out and have breakfast with Ken at STX and talked with Pete Meyer and, you know, Kenny looked at Pete Meyer and goes, you'd never believe I've known this kid since he was this tall, you know. So I got homeschooled, you know, we, we lived in the south suburbs of Chicago, and it was really changing. And my parents moved, which would have been my 8th grade freshman year. And you take a kid out of the city and they put me in a farm country, you know, and I didn't do well. I did not do well adapting. So they put me into, you know, I got homeschooled for high school and did not do good with that at all. I kind of joke with people. I got an 8th grade education, you know, everything else I've taught myself on the fly.
So to back up a little bit. When your grandfather didn't work as a technician by, by trade, but was invested in all this training, yes.
He, um.
Awesome.
It was a huge hobby for him. I mean, he was a, he was a product of the fifties, the hot rod revolution, right? And him and grandma got married in 1960. Grandma got pregnant short time after with my mom, and he had to put food on the table. He was working in a gas station and he realized that he couldn't, in his words, he was never going to make it. He was too anal as a technician. So he went into the maintenance side so he could still work with his hands. But he did a, he did run a, you know, a shade tree shop out of the garage for years and years and years, you know, and he had, I mean, if it was a piece of equipment that was sold, I mean, when he passed away. I actually contacted Jim Linder because we had grandpa's distributor machine that I was just looking for a home for it because I was never going to use it, you know, but that was just the man he was.
He loved cars. Learning was a passion for him, I think. Gosh, I mean, him and I, it was kind of cool. When I. When I first got into the industry in the early two thousands, we would go to classes together, you know, right before his. His health declined. But he was a. He was an avid enthusiast.
So when you moved from the. From the city out to the country, how far away was he from you then?
Or was it about an hour? So he. And I'll be honest, I ended up moving back with him, with him and my grandma, just because I wasn't adapting well, I was getting in a lot of trouble doing things, you know, every, most teenage kids do, you know, do it, doing all the wrong things. And, you know, grandpa was. My dad was around, you know, but I'm one of. I'm one of many kids. There's six of us, so, you know, it's easy to fall through the cracks when you got a big family. And, yes, grandpa just kind of, you know, he was stern, but, you know, that was my buddy. And, you know, we just.
I decided, watching him in the garage, this is what I wanted to do.
Yeah.
And at 16 years old, I went to universal Tech.
Oh, right on.
Yeah. Yeah. And that was, that was fun. But again, you know, you had, you know, I never told anybody my age. I always kept quiet. And a few of the instructors caught on quickly, and you'd get one or two that would give you some crap, you know, they hassle you a little bit, but again, you know, just being in the right place, the right time. One at, one of the instructors, John Dixon, who's one of the head guys for garage gurus, was. Was one of my instructors.
And, you know, we just hit it off and, you know, he taught our driveability classes. And, you know, on top of everything grandpa did, I seen how. How great of a tech and a person I felt John was. And, yeah, I mean, he was. He was probably my first, very first mentor in this business. And it's kind of cool when we're at training events, you know, I always seek John out just to say, hey, we hung out for a couple minutes at Stx. So again, just, you know, right people at the right time in my life, but, you know, yeah, because it's almost.
Like you could be, you know, because I don't want to say it with any kind of disrespect. You know, there's the, the older established people, but you're kind of like that, right on the cusp of that next generation of people coming up, right? You've got ties to, you know, Mister Morton and all these, you know, Pete Meyer and all these kind of people. I think that's so amazing. Like, I just. I'm jealous in some ways because it's like, I. I didn't know these people until Facebook, you know what I mean? So you got. They gave you some crap at Uti because you were young.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I was 16, you know, so you can imagine, you know, you were a bunch of boys, right, and a bunch of men. So they would get their comments in. I had one instructor in particular that, you know, hindsight, years later, you look back at it and you're like, that dude was the way he was to me because maybe he saw something, right? But he was a. Yeah, there's a lot of expletives I could use. But he was, he was pretty harsh, you know, and that was, that was step one, because he kept telling me, hey, kid, you're not gonna make it. You're not gonna.
This isn't for you. This isn't for you. Because I made a lot of mistakes, man. Oh.
You know, many times I've had employers tell me that, yes, it's crazy, right? Like, and, you know, did I. Did I know how badly I was screwing up? Yeah, I did. But I kept coming back to, like, there's some days where I'm brilliant. You know what I mean? Like, I have flashes of brilliance where it's got somebody else stumped, and I just walk over and make it look simple, right? But then there'd be other days I would struggle with, like, he'd have that engine out, you know, in. Inside of a shift, and I'd be like, the next day, you know, before it was hanging from the, from the picker coming out. And I would struggle with that. And that was always the yardstick. And it just drove me nuts.
I struggled with it for so long. And I'm not talking early in my career, I'm talking like, ten years ago, service manager at the dealer says to me, one dealer says, I think you should never be anywhere but a small, tiny little greasy shop. You just don't seem to have it. And I'm like, you've seen my resume, you know, my background, what I used to do. I'm struggling here, right? I'm struggling here with the. They didn't get it. And good for them. It's.
It's a better place, you know, to go on to where I am now, but. So that guy that was hammering you, you think now that he saw the potential, but he.
Yeah, I do. You know, and I say this, you know, I spent two years teaching high school, high school automotive. And it kind of. It kind of changed my perspective. You know, I got to do a lot of inward thinking through all that. And, you know, I sat back one night and I was like, you know, I bet that guy was the way he was to me because maybe he saw something, you know? But for 15 years after the fact, like, I'd curse that guy if I heard his name, you know? But again, you know, I think. I think things happen for a reason. I do believe in a higher power in that, you know, I've been blessed.
I've been lucky, whatever you want to call it that. People come around and, you know, I stayed all the time. Like, the people that believed in me, I can't think enough. The ones that told me I wasn't going to make it, I'm going to be honest. I think them, too, because they're the ones. They're the ones that drove me. You know, if you told me I couldn't do something, you know, I tell. I tell everybody I'm a Michael Jordan era kid, right? And growing up in Chicago, and one of my favorite sayings, and I'm going to paraphrase it real fast, is he failed over and over and over, and that's why he succeeds, right? So the.
The one line I use in every class or any interaction I have with somebody is, you know, my success. But if that's what you want to call it, is built upon years and years of failure. And I'm okay with that. You know, I'm okay with that today. I'm okay with making a mistake, making a bad call today. It took a long time to get there, but here we are, and I'm okay. Like, I don't. I don't have to be the smartest guy in the room anymore because if I am, I need to walk out to begin with.
I said that, like, a couple weeks ago, right? Like it. And it's so. It's so true in life. Not cut you off. But I mean, I've learned that the more I was in my own little bubble, my own little echo chamber is like Lucas used to call it. And then it's like when I. When he pushed me to network with more and more people, I'm like, wow, I'm. I'm the dumbest guy in a lot of rooms.
And that's a good thing, because it's like, you know, I'm just sitting there. I learned by osmosis, right? Like, I just listen all day long. I don't always say a whole lot when a technical subject's up. I just listen and watch. And that was huge for me, was to be able to be around these people that, like, you know, approach the same type of problem so many different ways. And that's. That's the beauty of this industry. Like, you know, Brian and Brian.
Brian Pollock, same thing. He says, I effed up so much stuff, you know, so wrong so many times, you know, um. And, you know, Brian is probably, like. I want to say it's probably less than ten still. You know what I mean? He's so sharp. But, you know, he. It's in his world. Yeah, I screwed up a lot of stuff, and I was the same way.
You know, I was never, you know, I didn't. I didn't knock it out of the park every time I went up to a diag. I just. Recently I had one that made me look stupid because it just over thought it, you know, just over thought it. And we didn't waste a ton of time. We didn't waste a ton of money, but it was just like, my boss is kind of grinning at me, going, oh, you say those coils never fail. And I'm like, okay, shut up. You know, it's a 23 year old coil.
Yes, it can eventually fail, but. So after Uti, what is, like, did you graduate? I guess I can.
No, no. So my brother. I kind of back this up a little bit. My oldest brother. I'm the second oldest. My oldest brother had cancer when he was born, and he's had. And it was very rare. Don't ask me to tell you the name of it, because I couldn't pronounce it, let alone spell it.
But he started getting some. Some pretty substantial health issues once he got in his later teenage years. And they were trying to figure out what was going on. And it's all fixed now, but he was, like, having. We'll call him seizures, but it was vitamin deficiencies that were happening because of results of him being sick. And then my dad, at the time, he was his early forties, had his first heart attack. Dad never took. Still doesn't take care of himself.
So, you know, between that and I'll be honest, I was 16. I had all this freedom, you know, random drug tests aren't so random. And I just did a lot of stupid stuff, man. And I own it. I have no problem talking about it with people. And they told me, like, hey, we're going to give you another shot. Either, you know, clean your life up or get the hell out of here. And, you know, at that point, I'm 17.
You know, give them the double middle finger, and I'm out. Yeah. Moved back home to try to help out at home as much as I could, which, you know, probably wasn't much looking back at it today. Maybe maybe even was a hindrance at times. Started going to work in the shops. You know, I worked at a performance shop right out of right when I got home. I learned a lot of great things. Mike was an amazing mentor.
It taught me the mechanics of fixing cars from a business side, a lot of what not to do. I love Mike. To this day, we still talk, but I tell him all the time, some of my greatest lessons from him were the stuff not to do. Yep. And, you know, kind of did the typical. I bounced around. Bounced around a lot. I was 17 when I went to work with who's now my father in law, and.
Nope, nope. That's a lie. That's a lie. I was 18 and met my wife. She got pregnant senior year of high school. So we were young kids. She had the baby, my oldest son, who will be 18 in a couple weeks. So she had the baby one of the last couple weeks of school for her senior year.
So we. We did everything the hard way. Um, you know, uh, Drew was born on Tuesday. I was signing on our first house on Thursday. So everything we did was backwards. So when I, you know, when I tell people I shouldn't be here because at that point, you know, I'm just trying to survive. I'm in survival mode. I'm just trying to put food on the table and pay the bills and, um.
But that's so many of us, Andrew. Like, it's how life goes, right? And I. This. This industry is so great because if you have that skill set that you can get and fix a car, you're never out of work. You know what I mean? You may not be landed where you're supposed to be. You may not be like, you might hate the job, might suck. We're underpaid, overworked. But, man, you don't have to go without employment unless you choose to.
Right? Always have skill sets in such demand, sir. Go ahead.
So, no, you're fine, man. I love hearing the perspective, you know, but I bounced around, did a couple stints here and there. Then I landed up at a pretty, pretty good shop for quite a few years where I learned a lot from the man, learned a lot about business. I kind of thought of him as a second dad, and he went through some stuff in his life. Him and his wife divorced. And I seen a huge change. And at this point, I got a pretty big ego. I'm early twenties at this point, mid twenties.
I got a huge ego. I left for a couple years, bounced around a lot, ended up back working for him for a couple years. And I think it's just one of those things my good friend Kevin Roth told me a while back. He's like, you know, just think of life as seasons. Sometimes that season's got to come to an end. And I recognize this. I didn't know what to call it. Went to work at the GM dealership and loved it.
I mean, I loved it. I was a transmission and diesel specialist. It was a small mom and pops owner owned facility.
Right.
The people were amazing. Not too much shop politics, you know, every shop has them. But I was getting burnt out. I was getting burnt out real bad. I mean, I was to make the hours. Some of the other guys were. I was putting in 60 to make 40.
Yeah.
You know, especially, you know, you're doing transmissions and stuff, but you're learning on the fly and set to be probably right around 2016, 2017. And at this point, there was this fellow not many people know, Brandon Stackler. Yeah, he was doing a lot of stuff on social media. You know, he would put up case studies and he'd really get you thinking. And Brandon really, like ignited something in me. And a gentleman by the name of Dave Wagner posted on ITN about this event called Super Saturday. And I remember my comment was, man, I wish I could. I wish I could pull that off right now.
It looks like it'd be a great event, you know, and prior to this, I'm going to John Thornton classes all the time and things like that because he's, they're local, right. I'm in the Chicago area. I'm blessed. But David called me and he's like, hey, if I comp, if we comp for you to come here, would you come here and just check it out? And, man, I took him up on that right then and there. And just to kind of back up a little bit, I was, I was. Within days of leaving the industry, I was going to go to work at the steel mills here in northwest Indiana. I was just, I was burnt out. I didn't think I was making the money I should.
I felt like I just kept investing and investing and investing, and there was, like, no return. It was just a mundane. It was a job, it wasn't a career, you know? And I get. I get to go to Super Saturday. I met all the guys from train by tech set, that one, who quite a few of them become, you know, pretty good friends of mine over the years. Kind of took me under their wing a little bit. And, you know, I got to hang out with Mario Rojas at that first one. Super Mario.
Like, I'm like, starstruck, right? Like, you see all these guys like, you really. You really look up to. And this is where I met Jim Morton.
Yeah, they're brilliant in that group. Trained by text.
Yeah, they're great. They're great guys, you know, and got to meet Jim. Got to. Got to really talk to Brandon, which was awesome, you know, and just. Just started learning that this business, you have to network. That was. That taught me it was time to network, and I came back home. I was totally ready to leave the dealership and go find.
Go find home. That's what I wanted to do. And I get a phone call from a good friend of mine. Now he's. Now he's a good friend. But again, people get put in your life you don't even realize, right? So one of the techs at the dealership, his neighbor is a good friend of mine, Jason Smith. And Jason owns quite a few. I think he's up to six or seven shops now in our area.
But he was filling in at. At the huge high school couple towns over from here because after 40 years, their shop teacher got fired.
Wow.
Yeah. And that's. I could probably do a podcast and all that alone with you. But Jason knew my desires, and he called me up, and he's like, hey, I know you want to teach now. I never intended to teach. I just want to put that out there. I had social anxiety. Like, hardcore social anxiety.
I couldn't. I couldn't talk to people. I couldn't do this with you today.
Yeah.
And he called me up. He's like, hey, man, like, I think you need to. I think you need to call this guy. It was the principal of the high school. So we called him. They set up the interview, and for whatever reason, out of all these great guys and girls that they had applied for the job, they chose me. And that's awesome. It is.
You know, and there's. There's so many layers to that. Like, you. You take. You take a job from a gentleman. Like my saying is, I never killed Santa Claus. Right. I wasn't.
I wasn't the reason this gentleman lost his job. I wasn't the cause. I was the effect. But, I mean, I was getting spit on in public. And that's not. I'm not exaggerating this. Like, I get hate emails. Like, they loved the community, loved that, man.
Yeah.
And you want to talk about, like, just totally tearing you down on an emotional standpoint? Like, I didn't. I don't think I ever really felt depression until then.
Right.
And like, man, they're just. And at the time, my wife's pregnant with baby number four. And it just, it just took a toll on. On us. It took a toll on our marriage. Hardcore to the point that we split up. I was. I was living on my own and doing a lot of stupid stuff.
And did you feel like when you came in as the new teacher did feel, I want to say similar to, like, when you see the coach start go with a new team, right? And you see the coach and he'll come out on the field and some people are booing him, right. They're throwing drink cups at him and beer mugs and everything else. Like, it must have felt like that, you know, for you. And totally, you're not at fault, you know what I mean? You're not even at that point the leader yet. You know what I mean? You're just a person that's been put there to try and keep the program going. An important program. Yeah, I want to. I want to.
I want to touch a minute on when you talked about the guy that brought you to Super Saturday.
Yeah.
There's so many stories like that in our industry and of people that just reach out to what essentially is a stranger, not necessarily stranger, but, you know, somebody, they don't know that well and they're like, hey, here's an opportunity for you. And here's like, I'm going to go into my own pocket. And, you know, I've talked to people off the air about who has done that for me and who is offered and I haven't had to accept. But it's just crazy amount of people. We do this in this industry. We don't even talk about it. We don't expect anything for it, for doing it. We don't want the recognition.
It's just something that we. All right, you pay it forward. Like you said, it's a beautiful thing. So you go to the high school, you get spit on, people got your picture on a dartboard, right?
Literally. Literally. I mean, I was getting. I wish it was kind of funny. The other night, I was going through my phone, and I was looking at some of the old social media posts, you know, and these people were just attacking me and my character, and they never met me at this point. But literally, a guy I knew that's in the industry saw me at a store and goes, hey, you took over. We'll just call Mister B. You took over for Mister B.
And I was like, yes, sir. And he literally spit in my face, you know? And again, I'm a south Chicago guy, you know, but now I represent this, the town and represent the school, and my family's there watching how I react, right? So you. You can't. You can't react the way you want to. And this went on for 6812 months. Like, it just. It tore me down, you know? Like, well, the stories I could tell, you know, getting emails, students recording you, trying to get you to slip up, try. I mean, just horrible.
Think that even if you slipped up, he's not coming back.
No, no, the. The damage was done, you know, unfortunately, some things came out through all that, you know, and I made it through. I made it through. And by year two, things were going really well. I thought, you know, my personal life was a freaking mess, man. Like, it was. It was horrible. I mean, my wife and I weren't really speaking.
Kind of lost my sons. You know, they're mid teens at this age, early teens. And, you know, dad's got his head so far up his own ass at this point that it was just horrible, dude. And I'm okay talking about it because I hope it helps somebody. And, you know, you go through the motions, got involved with things in people. I should not have ultimately cost me my job, you know, it was during COVID Anyway, so we're home teaching, and that probably forced me to really take a look at myself and take a look at my life and where I was at and, like, how destructive I became because I didn't know how to cope. I mean, I think. I think in this industry, we're.
It's so taboo to talk about mental health and where you're at. And, you know, we're. We're raised by men, right? Like, cowboy the f up. Shake it off.
Yeah. Rub some dirt in and get back in. You know, Covid taught me how to cope and showed me where. What I thought was my way to cope. It showed me all the holes that were in it. Now I still hold on to some of those methods. Right. It's still part of who I am.
I'm not going to take the way that I was, you know, brought up and just be able to completely turn that page overnight. But it showed me that it was like, you have to. I had to broaden out. I had to broaden out in terms of how I deal with things because some days something just would get me so angry. And I'm the same way. I look back at my, my facebook. Facebook is a wonderful thing, not just to network with people. It's like a diary.
It literally is. And I go back and I look at something and I'm like, I know why I was that angry, you know? Yes. And that's part of it, right. It's like rings on a tree, man. You just get another scar. You get a layer over top and you just keep growing.
Yep.
And. And, you know, it is so important that you do that. So I don't ever fault anybody that goes through something anymore. It showed me so many because the people that come out on the other side, man, like, the tough ones, they're the tough.
You know, I always thought that the guy that showed no emotion, the only thing I ever showed emotion at in front of my kids prior to all this was when my grandfather passed. Other than that, like, you'd ask if my boys were here, I put them on the mic right now, they would tell you, like, dad was a hard ass.
Yeah.
You know, there's no emotion. Like, I was just. It was weakness in my eyes. And I've learned that it's strength, you know, that. That's strength, you know, being weak is when you're strong and, you know, just have to learn. I had to learn how to cope. I had to learn how to be a husband and a father all over again. Obviously, you know, you're always going to try to fix, and you're always trying to apologize and make better the things you did wrong.
Right. And that's something I'm, like, learning how to deal with still, years later, you know, luckily, she stuck by me and she had no reason to. She probably should have a lot of people tell you she should have left. I'm telling you she should have left. It was just ugly. It was ugly. And I was self destructive. And I'm more upset that nobody said, hey, dude, you're effing up pretty big here.
You need to fix this. And so now I try to be that advocate, you know, if I see somebody making a mistake or, like, they're really spiraling, like, I'll I'm okay with having an uncomfortable conversation with you. Like, listen, man, it's. It's not worth it, you know? And I'm proud of those scars, you know, I'll wear that crap with honor today.
And that's sometimes the really hard subject to bridge, right? Because. And I used to be like, if I saw somebody spiraling, that I would run, because I did not want to get wrapped up in it. I did not want them to drag me down. Like, you know, it's like the drowning, man, you know? Like, how many times do we see that the person that's doing the drowning is holding the lifesaver? You know, the lifeguard underwater. You know what I mean? It's such a metaphor for life. And I would run from it. And now I realize that. It's like I've learned how to hold people accountable, have the conversation, but keep myself at enough of a distance that it's like, it's not going to destroy me.
It's going to break my heart to see what somebody else is going through and. But you're not going to be able to say to me, you didn't. I wish you'd have been there, because I'll be there. But, you know, I'm. It's going to be. It's. I'm going to hold you accountable. I'm going to say, hey, you're being a jackass.
You know, it's time to. And it goes back to that. It's time to man up, you know? Like, yes, life can suck. And, yes, you know, you feel like all this weight is on you, but that's just when you have to even become even more strong.
Yeah. I mean, it's.
Vulnerability is not weakness. Vulnerability is strength, 100%. You know, admitting your flaws, we do it. We do it as in our career. I admit my. When I. When I make a mistake, I say sorry constantly.
Hey, come here. See what I did wrong? I'm gonna show you what I did wrong. Now, I'm a. I'm a huge, huge person on that. Like, if I. Let's call the bad diag. Hey, guys, come here. I'm gonna show you where I went.
Down the rabbit hole, as Sherwood calls it. Or. Or, you know, I made. I made. Made a bad call just because I got stupid, you know? And sometimes that happens. I'm totally okay with that.
So did you feel like. When the teaching gig went away, did you feel like you must have been pretty hard on yourself?
Oh, man, I've. I never loved anything as much as I did teaching right. Like, other than my kids, obviously. Right. But what I've learned. So. So I thought that was my identity, because I'm going to tell you, I immersed myself into it and fixed, or thought I was fixing a storied program that fell off the rails and needed help. And I think, looking back, I was what those kids needed to get through it.
Right.
But more importantly, they were what I needed. Some of these kids now, I mean, they're my friends. I mean, I got quite a few in their early twenties now, and their careers have blossomed. And, you know, whether it's in the automotive industry or not, they were a bunch of great kids. And, you know, I had to learn early on. I couldn't save them all, but I could be a role model. Right. So I tried to keep my spiraling, spiraling hidden from them.
But I think. I think, realistically, some of them saw it.
Yeah.
And I'm embarrassed, you know, about that today. When you sit that back and you think about it, I'm embarrassed about a lot of the things I did. You know, more importantly, I'm more upset that, you know, the people that were in power at the school saw it. And instead of trying to be helpful, it was easier to kick me to the curb. And all these so called friends that I made in that area, I talked to maybe two of them, you know, but, you know, their car was broke. There they were. So that was a. That was a great learning experience that, you know, if you get fired tomorrow from most places, you're expendable.
But I felt I lost my identity. I fell into a pretty. Pretty deep and dark place for quite a while, and I just start clawing out of it. You know, just. I decided one day, I still, to this day, cannot drive past that school. And you're talking years removed. I mean, this would have been 2020, I believe, when all this happened. So you're talking four years later.
I cannot drive down us 41 and pass that school without, I think I've done it twice. And just the emotions overcome me because, you know, it was my identity for so long, and I thought I did a good thing, and then somebody I knew and trusted ended up taking over for me. And I've always felt that was a backhanded, backdoor move. It is what it is. You know, I'm super proud of overcoming that adversary today and being where I'm at. And, you know, I think it's great. I try to talk to as many people as I can about it now, and honestly, I probably owe that to hock and light hock and become one of my best friends, you know, another guy that doesn't get the credit he deserves in this industry. But, you know, he, him and I hit it off again.
Right place, right time, bright stepping stones. And he, you know, with his wife being what she does for a living.
I was going to say they are a power couple within terms of how. What she is such an expert on and now trickles through him, you know what I mean? And it's like, I listen to. To the episodes he's done with Matt, and I listen to her episodes that she's done with Matt. I'm like, God, they're. What a. What an amazing couple, right? What they're able to share, you know, with us. I mean, we're all. We're so blessed to have them.
You know, so many people like that in this industry, it's the same as, like, Paul and Kirsten, you know, and, um, you know, we're so, we're so blessed. And then you realize there's so many couples like that in this industry, you know what I mean? Like, it's not. No, it's. It's just, it's. They're, they're all over the place and they're not, you know, the burrises and so many people that. It's like, that's why it's so refreshing to me. The more I network, like you said, the more I come away just invigorated, right. With not just the automotive, but of life.
Life, right. Of relationships and love and faith and because I just, I see it. It's. I'm around it all the time, and then I come back to my little corner of the world and I forget that it's so, it's so out there, you know what I mean? It's just, we haven't put it up on that platform, and I'm. If I can find a way to get it there, I think Paul and Kristen are doing that, but what. Amazing. Yeah. Hawkins, the beautiful human being, you know.
And the saying goes, behind every strong man's a stronger woman. Right? And I'm a big believer in that, you know, and, you know, he's, he's been a great advocate. He's. He's one of those guys that, you know, there's a few of us, there's. We got a little friend group. There's about five or six of us in a group that, you know, we're all really, really close. And I don't talk much on the forums. I don't talk much in the chat rooms anymore.
I just kind of, like, keep to myself because, you know, like, we talked earlier, it's easy to get fired up and upset with people for not trying to help themselves first. But, like, in Hawkins case, you know, one, he holds me accountable. I mean, he's not afraid to tell me I've made a mistake. So right away, him and Scott Hicks is in on that group, too. I know. You know, Scott. I love Scott like a brother. A couple other guys, you know? And, you know, whether it be.
Whether it be Hawkins, Scott, John, Sean Hills in on that, too. Mike, Black Canary. I mean, these dudes, they've become my brothers, right? But the cool part is, is they hold you accountable. Like, hey, dude, you are really effing up. You need to take a break and. Or you need to look in the mirror. But, you know, we're taught. We're taught not to do that.
You know? And hopefully. Hopefully, if this helps one person, you know, you talk about, you know, you did stupid stuff, right? Whether it's infidelity, alcoholism, you know, drug addiction, you know, it's. You're not alone. Every one of us in some capacity has been through something, so don't be afraid to lean on people and ask for help.
And we're all trying to cope, right?
We are.
It's just coping mechanisms. And it's like, when we learn to do how to do that healthier, then. Then. And mine is like, I knock on wood, you know, I don't. I'm not into the drugs or. And I don't drink hardly anything at all. Mine's food, man, I feel so much better when I eat, right? Like, I. And it's like, I eat because of the taste, but then so many times, and it's like the.
The after feeling is terrible. And then I'm like, I gotta get my head wrapped around this in front of it. Yeah. But it's like, you know, I keep saying that, well, there could be a lot of worse things. You know, at the end of the day, that's just a cop out.
It is.
I mean, there's just a cop. It's about being. Standing up and getting. Handling your shit, as my ex, to say. Handle your shit?
Yep. Well, you know. Jeff, do you have kids?
Uh, I do, yeah.
So it's.
We're. We're kind of, um. She's 23 and, you know, spent a lot of time with her mom, so we don't really. There isn't the bond there that should be there, I'll say that. So I mean it. But it's tough. But, I mean, I know, you know, I see so many other people that sometimes the only thing that keeps them going is the fact that it's, like, the number one priority is to be a good parent.
Yeah.
I mean, everything else can be falling around in front of them, and as long as they're focused on that, and that's pretty cool, you know?
And I tell everybody, you know, for me, you know, I got four kids. My boys, Drew, the oldest, will be 18 in just a couple weeks. Matthew, he's our. They're irish twins. They're eight months apart. That's my million dollar baby. And it is possible, apparently, I was just irresistible. Mom couldn't leave me alone.
And then we got. We got our baby girls who are five and soon to be seven, you know? But for me, when all this was going on, I was looked at my boys, because my boys are my best friends. Like, I don't subscribe to that shit. When people say that you can't be a friend and a parent, I disagree. I think you can. You just got to have the boundaries and know that, you know, you are the disciplinary. But I was looking at my boys, and they're, you know, they're in their early teenage years at this point when all this was going down. And I could fail anybody.
Like, I don't. I don't care if I fail you. I just don't. But I can't fail them, you know? And they were. They were the driving factor of me, a saying. One, I was drinking way too damn much. Two, I was doing a lot of stupid stuff that, you know, I want them to be good husbands and be good fathers and. And how the hell can I sit up there and tell them they're screwing up when I'm doing the same thing, right? So they became the driving force to get everything right and to make life better.
And again, like, I'm not. I'm not ashamed. Embarrassed a little bit, you know, to have those conversations. But my boys are old enough now. We've had those conversations of what happened, you know, I want them to know, like, it's okay. You're gonna screw up, right? Just don't. Don't do the same things I did. Be better.
That's going to wrap up this week's episode of the jaded Mechanic podcast with Andrew Fisher, part two, coming up next week. See you then. Hey, if you could do me a favor real quick and, like, comment on and share this episode, I'd really appreciate it. And please, most importantly, set the podcast to automatically download every Tuesday morning. As always, I'd like to thank our amazing guests for their perspectives and expertise, and I hope that you'll please join us again next week on this journey of change. Thank you to my partners in the ASA group and to the change in the industry podcast. Remember what I always say, in this industry, you get what you pay for. Here's hoping everyone finds their missing ten millimeter, and we'll see you all again next time.
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