Pin drop car rescue

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I'm Jonny Smith.

I'm your reporter.

And this is Smith & Sniff, a podcast in which two friends

talk about cars and many other things.

I'm recording this, wearing my running gear.

Oh.

And I've been out for a run this morning.

And the last time I went out for a run,

I found some car parts inadvertently.

I mentioned this in the Glaswegian live gig that we did.

Yes, you did.

I saw a car part this morning as well.

I ran past a tailgate this morning in a head.

There was some fly tipping, which makes me angry instantly.

And I'm sure it does others.

Surely all the rain we've been having,

we are in the most fertile under tray season of the year.

Oh, there's so much.

There's been freeze bead under trays, plastics everywhere.

What I did see the other day is on the outskirts of a trading

estate, there's often new roundabouts that have been put

in and planted.

And it's all looking very fresh and raw.

And all the signs are brand new.

Someone had misjudged or maybe their sat-nav didn't tell them

that there was a roundabout there.

So there was some skid marks coming up to the roundabout

and then a brand new sign that was just smashed completely down

then two huge grooves across the soil and then smashed the

other sign down on the other side of the roundabout.

So I think they'd gone onto it across it and then off it.

It must have been going quite quick.

But what I liked was the middle of the roundabout hadn't had

a chance to have any flowers or flower beds put there just

instead a huge collection of car parts that obviously been

removed from this car as it was going across the roundabout.

So we start off with one light, then we start off for the

bumper, then we have the other light, the grill, then we have

a wheel trim and then we have little grilllets and brackets,

just so much plastic under tray wheel arch liners.

Honestly, it almost happened within the space of one and a

half seconds.

Um, but anyway, I was out running and I found a tailgate

this morning.

I slowed down a little, but I was, I'm not going to lie,

Richard, I found this morning's run quite hard.

So I didn't, I didn't really go for it in terms of walking into

the hedge and lifting it out, but I'm going to say it was,

I'm going to say it's one of those Mazda three to threes

that's actually a fiesta, something like that or something

a bit more or maybe a Peugeot 106.

However, a couple of weeks ago when I went on the run,

I was just starting to shake my rust off first third of the

run, very cold and bracing it was.

And I noticed on the other side of the road as I was going

towards it, um, the seat of an MPV and I thought, hmm, that's

unusual.

It's just placed at the side of the road, just slightly into

the grass, not, not, not like thrown just placed.

And it's one of those removable MPV seats.

So quick release jobs.

I thought, that's a bit odd.

So as I got nearer to it, I just kind of ran past it.

Just like, no, maybe someone just took it out to like do

something and then got distracted with a phone call or so

and then drove away and then never put it back in the car.

I noticed it was dirty, but it might have been out there

for two days.

Then I carried on running and then there's a little like

nook in the hedge where you could walk in.

And then there's some discarded wet wipes, which weren't

white.

And as I put two and two together, call me roadside

Colombo.

But I, one more thing, yes, I think what happened here was

that somebody might have had an incident in an MPV and they

were so distraught or sickened.

They just removed the entire seat and placed it on the verge

and just drove away, never to return, it seems.

So they're now one seat down.

Their car was a seven-seater.

It's now a six-seater or whatever.

I don't know what that, the cost of a replacement seat would

be.

Obviously, then you've also got a fine one in the right

upholstery and stuff.

I said, yeah, one leather seat where the rest of a cloth

would be a bit weird.

But that's not some casually discard.

Is it?

You just feel like for a number of reasons, the utility of it

as well, going, could you give us all a lift to the kids

party?

No, not all of you because unfortunately, I shot myself

in the galaxy and I've had to abandon one of the seats in

a country lane.

So, no, there's a lot going on there.

There is a lot.

There's an awful lot to unpack and I didn't have much time

to unpack it.

Well, I did.

I had another 30 minutes of running to do, but I didn't

want it to plague my mind too badly.

So, I carried on.

But this, our listeners, we've said this before, our listeners

are very astute people.

I wonder what car parts they found on the hard shoulder or

if there's any interesting backstories.

I'm sure there is and we'd always welcome it.

I once stopped at, you know, one of those A road petrol

stations.

So they're not really services.

It is just a petrol station, but it's got a loo.

It's like a petrol station plus.

It has slightly more going on because they appreciate that

it's on a major trunk road.

Have they got a cabinet with some flaccid sausage rolls in?

Oh, of course.

Yeah, okay.

And they, they're often a little bit depressing somehow.

They are.

They've seen, many of them seem to have seen better days

somehow.

They're always tired, I think.

Yeah, they're always tired.

Yeah, what is going on?

You know, sort of motorway service areas are a mixed bag,

but some of them are very sparkly and nice and some of them

are not so much, but at least you get a range.

Whereas I would say A road petrol station plus is

inevitably tired and this one was no exception.

I'd only stopped to use the loo.

So I parked in a space and not at the pumps.

And as I got back in the car, I looked across and in the

undergrowth, sort of at the back of this petrol station,

there was just a lone car seat.

And it was quite nicely lit by a left post because this was

at night and I took a picture of it.

But then I was, it was bugging me when it was as I saw,

I had to, I drove not the most natural route out of the

petrol station so I could drive past the seats and have a look.

But it looked to me like it was from a Ford's possibly an

original car.

Was it quite circular?

Yes.

Had that very round.

Everything was very round.

It seemed more like a seat, you know, a trad car seat,

not a removable seat from an MPV.

And that is raising a lot of questions.

Yes, quite fiddly to remove a car seat and you got to really

want to do it.

It's not a quick job.

Exactly.

Yeah, for obvious reasons.

So they are quite well secured.

So it is weird.

All I could think because it played on my mind as I drove

the rest of the way home.

That perhaps it was like a lorry, a scrap lorry.

Yes, but like how did the seat escape from the car?

Because either the car was, you know, been sort of cruelly

high abbed on top of some other cars, but they're still

mostly intact.

The seat is safely contained inside and bolted in,

you would think.

Yes.

So, but was it just one of those trucks where they'd like

maybe it was a truck of car seats because they're off the

recycling.

I don't know if that's what happens.

But it's perplexing.

Unless, unless it was in the midst of a crime, a car was

being stripped for parts and they got disturbed by a car

turning into a car park or a CCTV camera or something.

And they only made off with three quarters of the interior.

They left one of the seats behind because they just didn't

have time to load it into their van.

I'm just thinking aloud, Rich.

It was also because it was quite late and it's dark and

there's just something sort of haunting and lonely about a

single car seat poking out of some undergrowth.

Well, especially if it's got a lot of sun pat wiped on it,

which I think was the one with the MPV seat that I saw.

But this reminded me of, I was watching some videos on

YouTube with my lad, Wesson, last night.

And I got served up 1320 video.

There is a, there's a, it's a channel which you've probably

heard of 1320.

I think they do a lot of drag race stuff and modified car

stuff.

And they were attending this very odd ceremony that takes

place in Alaska every, where every 4th of July, a small,

a small village or town in Alaska where they, it's become

a strange tradition of throwing cars off cliffs.

Yes.

And it makes for very cool drone footage, FPV drone footage

and GoPro in car footage.

But it, and I started watching it and it was entertaining

for a while.

But then you realized, there were several things I realized

and this is when you were talking about seats removed

from cars.

There were some cars which are totally complete that were

being driven.

You basically jam the throttle down and you ratchet strap

the steering wheel in a set position and you put it in D

and just, it just drives off the cliff and there's a lip

jump at the end and sometimes it hits it and sometimes it

doesn't.

Did they not introduce a system where there was, they sort

of put like a pipe, like a rail.

There is a rail.

And then they, they, I mean, it's all still very Heath

Robinson, the kind of like ratchet strap.

Yeah.

It is quite Heath Robinson, which is why very Heath

Robinson, the guy that organizes this event, who I

think is like the village mayor, the town mayor, he

decided to throw his own Jeep Wagoneer off like a

classic Wagoneer, which he apparently he'd had for

many years and many years and it was quite tired.

But I looked at it, I pause the video a few times and

I called bullshit on that.

I was like, that's too good to throw off a cliff and

it's still running and drive.

So I was a bit cross about that.

Anyway, just to make it even worse is the car veered off

as it was in D and it hit probably the most mature

tree and square up.

So it never actually made it over the edge.

It just, so all the crowd down below, this is a huge

crowd assembling, watching it down the bottom where

there's a, at the bottom of the ravine where there's

a river.

Um, they never got to see the probably the nicest car

that shouldn't have ever made it off.

But some of the cars did amazing jumps and the on

board cameras, which were inside made you realize

there was like a Honda of some sort.

It might have been an accord or a pilot.

Was it a pilot?

Um, it went down this hot.

It jumped this entire ravine and then smashed its

way down to the bottom.

The airbags went off.

Okay.

Oh, all of the seats and nearly all of the dashboard

remained exactly the same, including the footwells and

it was 300 feet.

This is it made me realize how good cars are because

Western was like, you could have survived that.

But yeah, you'd be badly injured, but you, I think

you'd survive that.

And that is remarkable for a steel box to be able to

be thrown 300 feet and you just go, right.

Yeah, I'm not dead.

That's quite remarkable.

I was, and I felt, I started to feel sorry for the cars

and there were a couple of, there was a Mercury Marquis

with a V8 in it.

There was a, a FOA team van.

There was a Chevy Astro, which got jumped off.

Okay.

And that was probably the best one.

It did such a big jump that it almost pancake itself

at the bottom.

It missed all the sides of the ravine, which a lot of

them didn't and landed flat on the bottom.

I'm sure I've seen one where a Previa goes over and

fares quite well.

Yeah.

And being Mark I Prev, obviously I was rooting for it.

One of the couple of them, the engines, one of some of

them, the engines while still running, obviously get

pulled out of the car on the, on the way on the tumble

down.

So the engine is now running on its own in the air,

which is very ghostly.

Do you find sometimes watching these videos that I, I'm

struggling to work out the perspective and the distance

that the crowd is standing away from the, the landing

zone very much because sometimes I know there's a

body of water, isn't I think, but there's a body of water

which is clearly getting very polluted because all these

cars have got fuel and brake fluid and blah and blah.

Yeah, but then it seems like some of the cars miss the

body of water and they're just going through the trees.

And it's just, there's always that faint sense of is one

of those cars going to land perfectly on its wheels, which

are still spinning and then just keep driving towards

the crowd.

It feels like it could happen, but I suspect actually

it's, it's, it's the perspective is misleading on

the cameras on the shots that they use.

I don't know.

I'd love to go there.

I was working on something a while ago where we were

hoping to go there when it was vaguely suggested, but

of course, because it very specifically happens on the

4th of July.

Yes.

It didn't, the timing didn't line up.

It's hard to know, like it, because I've watched some of

it where you sort of see the crowd whooping in it.

I suddenly go, as an outsider, would this suddenly the

atmosphere seem quite threatening or is it very

jolly?

I can't quite tell.

I think it's really jolly and it's obviously very

patriotic and all that stuff, but the sort of sensible

reuse, slight eco-warrior within me says, says this.

I don't know.

Look, in a country where you, some people can't afford to

repair their arm if they break their arm.

Why are you throwing still running driving cars off

cliffs?

It just doesn't make sense to me.

Well, those cars are all, a lot of them must be worth

something.

We've had a few American listeners write into us to

say, can't believe how cheap cars are in the UK.

Well, I thought cars were cheap in America, but you've

said before that the prices have gone up and like you

can't buy a running car for 500 quid anymore, a 500

dollars anymore, which I don't know when that shifted.

But I think it was always the case and people did explain

to us of those various reasons why, but when we started

making the US version of Top Gear with Tanner Adam

and Rutledge, it was immediately obvious that you

couldn't do the same cheap car challenges, not with

those kind of headline, you can buy a car for 100 quid

sorts of things that were at that point, the UK Top Gear

was still doing and things have changed here as well

because we bought super cars for less than 10 grand,

which you simply couldn't do.

You did.

That was lunacy.

Yeah, but you could still get, you know, we did cheap

Porsches and they were all under, I forget what the

ceiling was, but you know, they were sort of like

1500 quid and there were many 911s under 10 grand then

weren't there?

Yes, you could probably still, I mean, we didn't because

I think it was, there was more comedy value in the

front engine stuff because it's been less cared for cause

it is less inherently valuable and or considered to be

worth something secondhand, but it was still, it's still

notable how just that sort of madly throw away, oh, I'll take

a punt on a 200 quid car that you could do here and you still

sort of just about can is simply not a thing in the US,

which I was surprised about cause so many cars and so many

things just lying around in yards in the, in the, in the

Midwest just thought you could, could you not just buy stuff

nice and cheap?

Well, yeah, it's weird.

This is watching these Alaskan cars being thrown off

cliffs. There is a huge amount of entertainment to it for a

short time, but then it starts to become a bit like, oh, could

we have saved that one?

Oh, there was a limo which actually didn't look that bad

at all.

I'm not a big fan of limousines, but and it was never going

to do a very good jump off the cliff, but the thing I ended

up rooting for was the fact that when they set them in D

and they charge off to the end of their lives, some of them

are quite, quite peppy and some of them managed to shift

into like several gears before they hit the jump.

So that means they're going some one of the people carriers

I think got into third and even if a couple of the, the

commentators like, oh, it's shifted again.

In other words, it's like, I'm going to do this and I'm going

to show you how well I'm going to do this and it was quite

impressive.

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podcast.

I just found some of the emails from people in the US

trying to sort of put some perspective on why second hand

cars seem to hold their value a lot better, particularly

the sort of lower end of the market in the US.

Listener called Martin has given us some very useful

bullet points on this.

Oh, he said there are several reasons in no particular

order 32 states don't even bother with safety inspections

as a result cars don't take that sharp depreciation hit just

for daring to be a bit deadly.

Low revving large displacement displacement engines tend to

outlive their turbocharged high revving small displacement

counterparts.

In addition, longer distances result in much less engine

killing short distance driving.

Right.

Higher median and average wages driving at prices for

everything.

A ginormous geographic region called the south where rust

due to bad weather and salt is not an issue and cars remain

in a usable state for longer.

A ginormous geographic region called the north where old

cars from the south go to die.

Many states offer incentives for tradings for example in

Texas you have to pay 6.25% tax of a car's current value

regardless of purchase price when you register in your

name to obtain a title or deduct the trading value from

the taxable amount.

But you can't do that if you sell your car privately dealers

then scrap these old beaters for liability reasons and this

practically killed the private seller market in many places.

So it is a supply and demand thing but that's really sad

the case.

I call rich is all in stepping and change that in Texas.

He has the power to do that another listener called rich

says that the cash for clunkers program devastated the

country's supply of functional if unpopular land barges in

the space of three to four years used car prices shot up as

a result.

He also points out that they don't get the type of cars in

the U.S. that should be cheap in the future.

We mentioned like courses and Yaris is this is and stuff

like that but Americans he points out when offered those

cars tend to pass on them in favor of pickups and SUV's

right by the time those huge things are worse anything less

than two thousand dollars.

They're basically non-functional rich also points out this is

the land of one of one which we've mentioned before.

Have we it's a 97 Corvette one of one is one of one because

it's got blue leather seats but with black paintwork and it

was built on a Tuesday in March and that makes well no other

cars were built like that on that Tuesday in March says one

of one.

But rich points out that because of the land of one of one any

car more than 15 years old is suddenly a collector car.

The average American has so much more space particularly garage

and driveway space that it's easy to park your horrible 82

Chrysler Lybarum with the rare blue for the blown head gasket

and not think about it.

So that's another point is I guess the sort of the pool is

shallower in some ways because people are able to just sit on

things that they should just get rid of because yes so that's

a base to do so.

So in that's like our UK farmer mindset in many ways or

traditional farmer where it was like rather than get rid of

it I'll just park it because I might come back to it another

day.

And so you end up with just graveyard of cars.

Funny enough I was on a train the other day that's right back

from I went from Glasgow and our live show went down to London

and that's a long training journey but very good seat table

table to myself for most of the journey in a nice quiet

carriage.

So I'm just achieved the sort of as Zen state of calm didn't do

any work.

I was going to do work and I was not doing work.

I'm just gonna did you just do staring cast.

Yeah.

And I just did a lot of staring.

I love where actually I was a bit worried that people going

by or whatever would think that I was incredibly drunk or high

or a simpleton because I was just staring and it was lovely

but what I noticed is a lot and you see this regularly from

trains I think I seeing a lot of cars some under tarp all in

some just sort of sinking into the dirt yeah in yards on farms

sometimes at the end of people's gardens equestrian cordon doth

fields I see a lot of dead dead 4x4 yes yeah yes it's true isn't

you get a feel with some horse jumps in it and then for no

apparent reason there's just a micro sinking into the ground

at one end yeah who left that there is it is it for the horses

to try and jump they forced them to jump the micro I don't think

you'd want a horse to jump a car which is no high and they

might catch their foot on their shins yeah because those those

horse jump rails are designed to fall off if the horse clobbers

them aren't they yes that's right roof of a of a 90s fiesta

won't come off and it gets kicked by a flying horse

so I don't think it's that but I'm thinking on the train I was

like I just I feel like you know that you get sort of is a

cliche like cartoons and things the dog pound van that goes

around and gathers up stray dogs yeah I just want to get the

stray car transporter and I'm just going to drive following

the route of a railway line probably for rich pickings and

just gather up all these abandoned cars and see if I started

I had a lot of staring time I started thinking is there a TV

format in this it's sort of like a really low version of sort

of Matt Armstrong meets wheeler dealers yeah but you gather up

cars that have been seemingly been abandoned and go can I get

this going and if I can and if it's roadworthy and it's not

too rotten which is obviously a big ask but if those things

prove to be true that it's actually quite solid and you

can get it running again and then you give it to somebody

really needs a car absolutely that is absolutely the case

it's a bit like a vice grip garage Derek on vice grip garage

you're one of the earlier and most successful quite simple

but effective car channels he does a lot that he you know he

flies to the he flies or gets a lift to a car for sale in the

middle of nowhere agrees to buy an unseen and then just takes

his tool bag with them and says I'm going to try and be home

within the next three days this car hasn't run for 50 years

it's really cool yeah I think we should call this pin drop

carplop I've just decided so as soon as you the good thing

about the modern world is if you see a car like that in a

location instead of having to write down nearby road names

and describe them to friends what you do is you obviously do

a pin drop on your phone as quickly as you can and then

you say then you label that pin drop I don't know shagged metro

and then you share it with people like me who get off on it

and then yeah and then you go and then I say oh yeah is that

worth investigating is it going to be on a farm where they

do illegal dog fighting and I'll get attacked if I go and see

it what's going to happen but really what you're what you're

describing is the genesis of the barn fund the modern day

for so yes yes it's the CSI tarp all and we haven't talked

about that rich on this cast for for we haven't talked about

CSI top for at least a year maybe two years this this is

definitely sort of within it is a part of CSI tarp all in

completely which I did do I didn't do pin drops for cars

because I didn't see anything that was so interesting

does it you know like oh my god was that an ultra bill

toronado or something but I did do a couple of pin drops just

on interesting buildings you know you're on a obviously on

an unfamiliar train line yeah and you see the last hour at

one point I was like why is it out like modern kind of tower

and it looked a bit sort of like it could be a prison watch

tower but it was too tall so it's like do they drop things

inside it for research purposes for yes could be all those

lift testing towers yeah oh yeah oh lift testing yeah there's

a lift testing tower in Northampton show I'm sure it is

Oh maybe it was that because this was coming through would

we have skirted Northampton show we might have done I can't

remember this was now I did a pin drop it's still in my phone

though you've reminded me I need to look it up it's great

you were too busy being a stoned drunk simpleton on the

train that was a glassy high it was lovely it was that's a

four getting on for a five hour train journey and when we

pulled into Euston I was actually quite annoyed I was thinking

I could have done another hour of that easy can we do one one

day I'd love to do one with you because I I'm I've got a bit

of envy thinking about it because I know but then we might

have spoken to each other and that would have spoiled the

sort of rapture state of staring out the window we've had to

sit in separate bits of the carriage agreeing perhaps every

couple of hours to meet in the middle and have a chat or do

we write down the things that we've seen so we can compare

and so I write you write down I don't know Triumph Dolomite

under Tarpaulin next to sad looking ponies and then I say

oh yes I've seen a naked guy riding a moped around a garden

this is to my mind that the part of what makes a journey like

that your what enables you to slip into that state is it's

very crucial you are on your own if you with somebody else

it doesn't work the same way.

No no because you've got to interact and I love train

journeys on my own but they have to be outside of rush hours.

Oh yeah and you have to have a seat that there's my quietness

of the train is important.

Yeah very much so and it does allow it for a creative person

which controversially I do consider myself to be one I used

that time as creative juice recharging it's really good for

that. That sounds great I'm a bit jealous because I've got a

very long car journey to do this afternoon down to Devon

for another West Country based barn find but I wish that I was

going on the train although trying to get my entire toolkit

and clothes and everything onto the train would just be a bit

of a bastard.

I think some train companies are a bit squeamish about a man

carrying a can of fuel as well are they not?

Oh yeah I'd be bringing 10 litres of petrol with me too.

Yeah I forgot about that and a huge car battery.

It might be a way to get a table to yourself I don't know.

Yeah yeah I might do it.

I'd be wearing a fleece so I'd look like a loner a 40 year old

virgin but don't well yeah it's funny that you mentioned an

Oldsmobile Torinado.

I stood next to one of those airport transfer cars which has

10 doors.

Oh yeah the museum that I was frequenting on the Isle of Man

when I got stuck on the Isle of Man and they had they have a

small collection of airport transfer cars as well as really

amazing coach built limos and if you're into those sorts of

niches like I am they're quite impressive but yeah the Olds

was obviously front wheel drive and they just put this massive

back on it it was so ridiculously large and this is that

interim between using a minibus when American manufacturers

went well we'll just use a car that we've already got on the

production line and we'll just add doors that seems like a good

idea and they had a checker cab with 10 doors or 8 doors it

was quite amazing but what I've forgotten to say in the last

podcast and I did say it in live in Glasgow was that I've

actually left a car on the Isle of Man so I've the only way I

could get off the Isle of Man that week because of the storms

the four ferry cancellations later I realized I was at

Defcon one I've got to get back to London to do a corporate

event that I was booked for so I did what what I had to do and

that was I left my Honda Insight on the Isle of Man in the

trusted hands of the Museum and the Museum guys they said oh

don't worry we'll look after it for you no rush the guy the

curator of the Museum chap Dennis he was like I've got my

own it anyway and I anyway I said look I'm not selling it I'm

gonna come back and get it 24 hours later I get an email with

a picture they've cleaned it and put it in the actual Museum

because they felt sorry for it being outside of the wind and

rain so there you go cheap storage guys what you need to do

is is is not be able to get home from the Isle of Man and

then just get your car in the Museum easy done is end

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but the owner of the museum would like to buy your

insights and you have no current plan to be able to get

your insight back no I don't can we not foresee a situation

in a couple of months time where you say oh sod it and just

sell him the insights because it's the easiest thing to do

I think he's he's banking on that

I think he's banking on the fact that he knows that I'm

quite a disorganized individual yeah we're almost in a

hostage situation really we are in a hostage he's got it

he's a hybrid hostage he's he's he's set up on the hybrid

hostage on the hybrid host the situation he's he said he'd

been looking for one for the museum for a while so he got

his eye on it and he loved the fact it was high mileage

etc etc but I suddenly realized looking at his taste in some

of the corners of this museum with these lovely coach built

herces and limos and the silly airport transfer cars he's

got a penchant for limos rich didn't see a senator in the

museum just saying oh no no so he's got limousines and he's

got a lotus Carlton which there is DNA there right but doesn't

have a senator limousine so it begs the question do I make the

call to Dennis Cunningham and say oh I'm coming to get my

insight I will trade you key for key a longer wheel but an

extended wheelbase Eagle Quest limousine well I mean yeah

could summer out there could summer out there on the island

summer we still have to go get it back though don't we this

is the thing but then we go on a little holiday we go on a

little Smith and sniff little long weekend or something we can

maybe video it we'll go and get the eagle fly over and drive

the eagle back the eagle can be on a ferry on the Brian be

amazing do you have to you'd have to tell the ferry that it

wasn't a normal car wouldn't you because well you could I'd

look at how long it is and if it's overall length is about

the same as I don't know one of the largest cars on sale in

Britain right now like a Rolls Phantom or I don't know an

extended wheelbase Bentayga or something you could just go

that's just a large car because it's still got four doors

it's not like it's a six door I suppose yes so it depends if

you're just going to be sure to with the the steam packets

who are the the ferry company on the island man I don't want

to get into beef with the ferry company because they are the

only ferry company in and out of the island man so yes that

well I could see why that be a nuisance but I was more

thinking also about just grounding out on the ramp our

break over angle is going to be suboptimal for some ferries

that is true although we do have the ground clearance on

the the eagle it is quite quite good it doesn't drag its

gut really just you have the exhaust repaired so it's no

longer partly made of beer cans and then crush it yes the lip

getting into a ferry would be a real nuisance but we could

have a different exhaust system made the cross section of a

crimped oval all the way from front to back yes or would you

like a crimped oval I've seen it's sort of slightly homemade

extreme off-roading cars where the exhaust pops out of the

bonnet and runs over the roof I've seen that as well it looks

terrible doesn't it it looks terrible I know always go oh

that's just just don't feel like you could accidentally touch

it and as we know exhaust leave skin on it very hot yeah well

it would leave a lot of skin on it it would so I just while

I was just hastily rummaging in the email folder to find some

of those messages about why used cars might be more expensive

in the U.S. and thank you to everyone who sent those

suggestions in about yeah that's really good eight months ago

really good there was oh God of God I'm bloody lost it now I

just had one as well which was from a listener who said that

some that cars used to be a lot cheaper second hand cars this

is I thought they did us from a listener called Aaron who

says another Euro spec American here we very much used to

have cheap cars here some of them stupidly cheap but mostly

in the late 80s and early 90s was it that long ago to pre

internet yeah so in in 1987 I bought a 1981 Chevy Chevette

that needed some welding work for twenty five dollars oh wow

hang on seven years old it's a six year old car but it needs

some of those Chevy Chevets were famously rotty weren't they

and say it needs some welding work Aaron says he got it done

for free at the local tech school usual garbage agricultural

American spec but it did have a current inspection slash MOT

because I lived in one of the few states that actually

required that and still does my brothers and I used to make

pretty good money buying cars like this getting the mildly

road legal and then flipping them but we never bought anything

over five hundred dollars and I think the most we ever sold

one of them for was fifteen hundred the end of that started

in the late nineties when Barrett Jackson auction started

to become popular and that guy with the puke green Corvair

was convinced that it was one of one because of that ridiculously

horrible paint job and it was suddenly worth thirty thousand

dollars even though it hadn't been that color for thirty five

years they had no flaws the engine had been dead for twenty

five years and you can't get parts anymore another thing

to understand is about ninety percent of American car owners

don't maintain their cars at all no I states that actually

require an inspection yearly is where you can find a better

maintained ones but hang on at the same time Americans

change their oil every four hundred miles or so it seems

and they're constantly rotating their tires sometimes while

driving I just I don't suppose that's maybe that's if you buy

into that I don't understand the why wouldn't you have some

sort of mandatory inspection especially in a in a country

where it's quite litigious because that's infringement of

your personal liberties and as we know the American experience

is defined by the perception of freedom well no but and I

don't want to alienate our fantastic American because we've

got a legion of them and and we we do want to come and see you

in the not too distant future guys because we very much

enjoy getting your correspondence and and even the very

dedicated ones that buy our merch and pay to have it shipped

out which is just so sweet sweet sweet guys just so I was

actually going to change the subject there because I was

looking in the email thing I found this email that I meant

to read out ages ago well I mean by our standards only about

a month ago it's from a listener called Gary that's very

recent upon something we were talking about the etiquette

of driver to driver acknowledgement and okay he he says

the frantic four finger flap the subtle palm lift or the I'm

not angry just disappointed not this reminded me of a gentleman

I worked with in the late 80s at the time I was a sous chef

in a properly posh Cheshire hotel the junior manager was a

chap called Simon Simon was to use the technical term a grade

a PSB toff I don't know what PSB stands for PSB no probably

something border school border I don't know a public school

border public school border could be couldn't it PSB PSB for me

it's just pet shop boys and I'm sure it's not that in this

context anyway printed circuit board circuit board no that's

not good so Gary goes on to say Simon was to use a technical

term a grade a PSB toff but he had a quick wit and more

importantly a dark blue e30 325 I yes manual obviously it was

the kind of car that made you feel like a stockbroker even

if you were just commuting to a shift where you were one up

from the doorman one of one Simon took me out to stretch the

beamers legs along the Cheshire B roads he was driving with

that specific brand of 1980s confidence that suggests he

believed the car was literally incapable of crashing

suddenly a boxy Volvo the natural predator of the e30 lumbered

out of a side junction without so much as a glance oh no

Simon stood on the anchors the Bosch ABS did its funky chicken

dance and we avoided a collision by the thickness of a pack of

marble lights as all crawled past the Volvo the driver looking

suitably pathetic Simon reached into the door bin and produced

a table tennis bat it has been meticulously modified painted

matt black with a piece of chalk dangling from the handle

it was the ultimate analog interface no he raised it to

the window in the passenger seat all I could see written in

neat white chalk capitals on the back of the paddle was the

word sorry I was flawed Simon I said that is genius pure class

although strictly speaking why you apologizing to him he was

clearly the moron in this scenario Simon didn't say a word

he just gave me a knowing PSB tough smirk and flipped the

bat over on the reverse so this was the side shown to the

Volvo driver I guess in even larger chalk lettering was one

word wanker I realized that in 2026 this was likely resulted

in a roadside tribunal or a viral TikTok but in 1980s Cheshire

it was the height of sophisticated feedback I almost

regards Gary I felt like I need a chalkboard table tennis

bat inspired brilliant and it was it it lives permanently in

the glove box with a piece of chalk attached to end the door

bin by the sounds of the door fast access so good that is so

so good that is real 80s road rage communication it's just

but it's something quite sort of elegant about that I like

it I like it as a test to think now I'm pretty sure though

that we had a similar message from another listener did we

read this out who was on their way to a festival with us with

the sign making equipment and they used the long journey to

to make signs to other motions but of course can't find that

because I'm an idiot but anyway thank you to Gary and and

the other senses car car to car messaging systems I love all

that we still want to get a LED scrolling screen for the for

the Eagle Quest yes that's really good enjoyed that and I'm

enjoying more and more the the cheap the reasons for the

non cheapness of American automobiles yeah these are all

good reasons and they do sort of check out don't know it's

another listener of the email I've just closed and can't

find it again did point out that from a UK point of view that

because we're right hand drive but surrounded by left hand

drive countries it may devalue our cars because you can't sell

them to a wider market right if you are buying or selling say

a delta integrale you know that it's going to be left hand

drive so it's sort of like well if someone from Germany wants

to make you an offer that's cool and they want to re-register

it and knock yourself out it's some it levels that playing

field I suppose a little bit yeah but if you're selling a

right hand drive I was gonna say Sierra Cosworth but it's

okay because they were squifty bajillion dollars in the UK

anyway so Australia yeah yeah but you can see it in you know

how like the 25 year rule in the US and the Americans are

quite interested in old Land Rover Defenders yeah and it has

had a significant effect on the price of good defenders over

25 years old and the ads quite explicitly often say eligible

to be exported to the US because they know there are there

are traders and private punters over there who are actively

looking to grab a car here and ship it over to the US because

defender prices in the US are absolutely fucking crackers

I mean these people not realize those cars are shit it's it's

so crazy particularly you know they did for a limited time

they did a V8 Defender soft top yes for the US the coveted

NAS spec NAS was it pre which is it pre Defender badging was

it still a county then almost no it was 90s so okay became the

defender in 1990 and it was okay to that but it was it was a

short-lived thing because then I think it fell foul of regs

it was developed under the give the internal codename Project

Norman I think after Stormy Norman Schwartzkoff the American

general who came to prominence in the Gulf War and they they

weren't sold there for very long so they weren't that many of

them exported and they go for well last I looked they were

sort of approaching $100,000 and it's just like everybody

come on yeah say this is a defender owner Defenders are

shit that loveable but they're shit like if you've never

driven one be careful what you're getting into here

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you know it's wild most people are still overpaying for car

insurance just because it's a pain to switch that's why

there's Jerry Jerry's the only app that compares rates from

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I actually when I was on my run looking for car parts of

sporting I got ever taken by a 2015 plate Defender and I

and it suddenly dawned on me it's like wow yeah it's been

out of production now for 11 years because 2015 was the

final final year wasn't it yours yours is a 2015 well no

because that's the glory of it that mine because mine's one

of the final ones and mine was December 2015 and it has that

special end of days badge on it that says 1948 to 2015 that

they'd already sort of ordered from a supplier when they go

right that's it Defender Defender production will end in

December 2015 but such was demand they let it roll on into

into 2016 so my Defender has a factually inaccurate badge on

it that's so that's so Land Rover it's it is so beautifully

Land Rover thing to do and so yeah it is in fact where are we

now I I think was it Jan or February 2016 that I went to

the factory as part of the so many to watch the last one come

off the line and I think it's it is almost exactly now 10

years since the last one was made but it should have been

slightly more than 10 years at the Glaswegian live show I

wore charity shop clothes and lots of people said I potentially

look like a a roles shadow to owner from the waist down

well they reminded me the other day I watched I watched Batman

begins and it's just such a good film such a good film from

the music score to bail to to Oldman yeah but I would have

been great if the follow-up film had been called Batman ceases

what because there's something funny about Batman Batman begins

it's just like does it you know what Batman begins Batman

thrives a little then Batman Batman ceases yes cease but it's

a cease is a sort of in the same spectrum as begins a slightly

slightly odd words for about cease Batman cease comma Batman

yes exclamation mark cease ye Batman if you go to go for

twattery I've just found a photo of the last defender coming

off the production line 29th of January 2016 so that the

anniversary is just past oh wow so go there we go for the last

defender so I doff my Jerry McGoverns in this picture wearing

quite a loose suit is he smiling though and he's he's he's

forcing a smile I would say okay okay what ever happened to

that guy is he listening to Michael McDonald on a cross trainer

in a very glassy fronted grand design's house I saw something

the other day about Michael McDonald's which claimed that

he was or is quite a heavy smoker and this was preventing him

from hitting high notes well yeah because he's cooking his

lungs well yeah I mean it's like it's that's no surprise but

I don't mean like I didn't I wouldn't have had Michael McDonald

down as a heavy smoker not of cigarettes cigars thin cigars

that's what they meant yeah he would have been the pebbled

beach spec cigar smoking guy because he looks like he with

the hair slipped back a little he's got quite he's got lion-esque

hair we did have he's a bit of a man lion isn't he yeah I mean

him and we've said it before him and Dave Richards have never

been seen in the same room no have they or Kenny Rogers or

there's another one in there they're like like the lion-headed

assemble what's his flap out of the Bee Gees oh the only one

left alive Barry yes Barry yes Barry yeah did you know there's

a statue of the Bee Gees on the Isle of Man I was vaguely

aware of this yes because they they were born there or they

moved there from Manchester I can't remember which I think

they moved there when they were young and then they and then

they moved to Australia oh that's right but there's a picture

a bronze statue of the three of them like walking towards the

seafront I was look it was it was dawn and I was running and

I was avoiding high winds and seaweed being flung over the

seawall but I did see Barry Morris and Robin one of them had

a jacket on his shoulder I think is impressive those statues

that they they don't really look like people like that famous

one of Ronaldo oh yeah did it they look like fun fair air

brushings of themselves exactly yes yes in that world I didn't

see their faces I saw the backs of their heads but they had

flared trousers on and it was very much the the era that you

remember from you know the Saturday Night Fever later

seventies when they hit their highest high I would say

um that was it was really cool it was really cool to see but

um anyway the Batman begins it reminds me there's that there's

the League of Shadows in Batman begins with Liam Neeson you

know where Bruce Wayne obviously has lost his tragically

lost his mum and dad at an early age and he's trying to find

himself and understand what this is all about and he's got

loads of money but he has no purpose so he decides to

pretty much climb a mountain and just fight with monks for a

couple of years um but then realizes that he's in the wrong

place because the League of Shadows ultimately just want

to like burn cities down and punish humans for being greedy

um so he he he escapes all that but the League of Shadows

come back and get him don't they spoiler alert they end up

burning down Wayne Towers but um the it made me realize that

the League of Shadows sounds like a really good car club um

which would which would obviously just be slightly seedy

Rolls Royces it could sound like a drift like a drift

movement um it's something JDM but it's more probably

disgraced entertainer Rolls Royce era do we not think the

League of Shadows yeah I think so yeah uh so they have the

ability to cover up naughtiness um but they still drive around

in a butterscotch shewed Cornish um and and I and then I I

watched the other night I think you've seen it I watched a

couple of episodes of Black Rabbit oh yes and um the chat

with the receding hairline in it Jude Law he drives a he he

drives um a series three Jag XJ doesn't he yes he does yeah

and I'm pretty sure it's almost the same color series three

Jag as in Snatch that Vinnie Jones drives and uh it it

possibly is yes and I'm pretty sure that's also the same color

s uh XJ series three in um 51st state is it off of Robert

Carlisle and um yes or who's the other guy who's the other

actor in 51st state Samuel L. Jackson I don't you know what

I'm not even sure I've seen I don't know if I've seen but you

need to because you need to watch all films with series three

Jaguars it Rich well I don't know I mean I feel like there's a

there's a gap in my knowledge now but this is the thing I I love

the way it's shot in Black Rabbit and and someone's obviously

chosen that car and I'm sure that it's the same color same

model in all of those things it's like are we about to see the

series three XJ if you can find one that has hasn't dissolved

um becoming more valuable than something like an XJS maybe

it's the next valuable Jag for a certain generation I yeah I

think so I mean I think I could see that happening it's just

because also the you know the pack's thinned out a bit hasn't

so somewhat probably probably helps a little bit in terms of

their value because good ones are increasingly sought after

they are have you you haven't watched all of Black Rabbit

no I've only seen three episodes so don't tell me what happens

it's just it's quite interesting because later on this this is

not really a spoiler alert but later on as things are getting a

little bit more ragged one of the things Jude Law's character

admits is that the Jag the Jag isn't very reliable in there he

just bought it for the look but actually it's just another

thing that's causing him stress in his life oh it's fine you

never actually see it break down but I think it's just okay it's

quite because I was thinking oh yeah it's all well and good

casting was this cool guy about sound yeah and look he's just

effortlessly got this lovely old Jag and but we know the reality

might be a little bit more hassle and well it's also in New

York isn't it he's in he's in when he's doing a lot of low

speed he's doing a lot of heavy traffic work which is probably

not great for it no but breathing manhole covers and things

yes you know so yeah but it's it is good car casting because it

does you know it's interesting and cool but then this guy

it delighted me in a way that he admits that it's also

hassle and not worth as much as it looks because it's troublesome

there are a couple of shots where you see it driving and it's

obviously only just been switched on oh really so yeah it's

one of these things that always it always bothers me it's years

ago with Clarkson and I worked on a on a I think it's called

Clarkson on TV it was just one of those TV clip show type

things that inexplicably Jeremy was asked to do and we did a

whole bit about that which was possibly a bit niche but cars

when it's sort of you know they'll pull up to somewhere the

carrots pull up and go oh well we're finally here it's a long

way to get here to Scotland you know yeah the exhaust is telling

me that car's only just been turned on and driven from over

there but um on the movie set yes exactly so uh there's a bit of

that in Black Rabbit still excellent show though uh look we

we should uh we should wrap this up um because we've been going on for

ages and actually one of the messages that I found I found

from a listener uh a listener called Wayne just said thank you as a

long-term non-sleeper I found your podcast the best sleep aid

in town a few minutes and I'm off oh thank you and keep up the

good works I don't is that a good work all right works for him so

keep up the sleepy boring dull work in a in a suitably low voice so

we don't wake Wayne up again um I'm not going to tell you three

things at the end of this one I'm just going to tell you one thing

which is we are doing a live podcast for charity in age of

mission motorsports it's at the Great British Car Journey on the

fifth of March Thursday the fifth of March so that's

basically in a couple of weeks and or so uh last I checked there are

still tickets available go to Smith and sniff dot com and

follow the live show page to check that that is the case we

would love to see you there it's all for a good cause it won't be

like our normal live shows we're doing a quiz and a raffle and it

promises to be be better I would say yeah maybe or maybe chaotic but

hopefully you won't mind because as I said it's raising money for a

good cause so uh please go to Smith and sniff dot com and buy a ticket

for that if there are still some on sale thank you please

we will be back on Friday answering some questions

and the following Monday with a regular show oh also I should say that the show

at Great British Car Journey for Mission Motorsport won't be recorded

so if you don't come along you'll never know what happened that's our FOMO thing

isn't it I like that yeah well we we genuinely forgot to record the

Glasgow show we were intending to record that one but this one

will not be recorded so um if you want to know what goes on there then you have

to come along and you get a half price you get the

chance to buy half price tickets to Great British Car Journey

and 25% off their drive down car experiences

until the end of July with your Smith and sniff ticket so which is worth an

incentive there as well just do just buy it for that

and then wear the the bit of bonus I would say yeah buying a discount voucher

and if you want to you can come along and hear us doing what we're doing

okay well that's enough for now but uh we'll see you again soon thank you

goodbye cheers babe thanks babe

and maybe leave a nice review

and

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