S2 Ep32: I BROKE The Top Gear Suzuki Liana (& Help Pick A NEW Colour For My Clio Williams!)

I went to Dunsfold, the top gear test track, and we were all going to have a go in these

Suzuki Llanas. I won't give anything away, but both of the Suzuki Llanas blew up.

One of us didn't get to have a go.

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Auto Alex podcast, home of automotive financial

mistakes, our life in cars, and your questions answered today. Rory.

Hello. Taylor. Hello. Oh, my, sorry. I wasn't, I was just, my mind was elsewhere.

You're just trying to tally up how much money you owe me.

You're getting stressed out. I don't know your penny, sling your up.

Anyway, we will fill your ear and your eye holes with what we've been up to. We'll answer your

car dilemmas and we'll play a game of how much that or how much, which one was more expensive,

that sponsored by chat GPT. Really good. I've started using chat GPT as of last week.

See, I thought it was really good until I came up with a quiz and then I did it on the stage

of Shedbest last year. Turns out all the answers were wrong. Yeah, it's not very accurate.

I think it's maybe more accurate these days. Does it get more clever? It does. It does actually.

Yeah, it keeps learning. Yeah, I did actually cross reference a couple of things and it actually

did tally up. Okay. So that has saved me about half an hour. Anyway, before we carry on with

the podcast, hope everyone's well. What do we do, Taylor now? We say hello to everyone.

Okay, and let's get started with Andrew Ryan removing shitty black wrap from a set of BMW

E60 kidney grills. Good man. Sean Burbridge listening while driving into uni, having just

started an occupational therapy degree at the age of 33, Kurt listening to the podcast while

driving his truck around Europe, Thiago in Portugal, Lewis Morgan loving life in his

Maserati Ghibli, David on a train to Edinburgh, mechanic Tom welding a transit. That won't

be our Tom, will it? No, he doesn't do mechanical work anymore. He's off the tools and he's too

old. He's retired. Yeah, we've got dog trainer Abby on her way back from a dog training competition.

That's like crufts, isn't it? Yeah, it's when you get bad dogs. No, it's when you make them do tricks

and stuff. Oh, okay. Or maybe that. You know when you go like bang to Maisie and she goes over

and goes, and then plays dead. For the purpose of people listening with their eye holes, ear holes,

sorry, Rory did like the gun thing. Yeah. So it's like bang is in a gun, not bang, Maisie.

Oh, yeah. People could misinterpret, man. You've got to be careful. People are idiots. Okay.

Anyway, and Rory's Mum Jackie. How's she doing? She's doing all right.

Rory was just thinking about how much he spent on cars.

I cannot wait to get into that. I cannot comprehend the amount that I spent on cars.

So we've got our landlord, Trevon, he's just chuckling to himself,

leaning on your Spitfire that you spent an awful lot of money on.

I'll be honest, the credit cards have come out. Have they?

Really? I'm so determined to get my cars done before summer. I don't care. It's happening.

Because I'm not going, because last year I had my lovely cars and it got to summer

and every single one was either away somewhere or broken. And I ended up having nothing over

summer. So this year, this is the year. So you're going to bang the credit cards out,

spend all the money on fixing them and then you won't have any money left over to drive them?

Do I advise this? No, this is a terrible decision, but it's happening.

Speaking of cars and stuff, what number are we on now?

Well, that's been one more, isn't it? How many cars does one man own? One single man?

I now have 11. Correct me if I'm wrong. As of Saturday, you've now got more than me.

What? Oh, you're in big trouble if that's true.

Because I sold one on Saturday. No, we're now even. Are we level pegging?

We're level pegging, yeah, because you were 12 and now we're both 11.

Right. What does your future wife think of this?

So I talked about selling one and she started going, I don't think you should.

And I was like, what? She must be having you on.

The problem is the car that I'm selling, Ellie actually really likes.

Really? Can you tell everyone what car you're selling? Because I feel so proud about this.

Wait for it. I'm going to be selling my Land Rover Defender.

We've been working on that for ages, haven't we? Ages, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there's no reason for that, which we'll get onto in a little bit.

I just don't see myself using it as much. I'd be honest,

as much as you guys have rubed me for it, I haven't really used it.

You just don't drive your cars, man.

No, I drive all of my cars, actually, but the Defender is probably the one that I don't drive.

I think over the last year in a bit, I've seen you use it twice.

I did drive it a bit more just around where I live, but even then,

it was probably just to go to the tip-in and stuff like that.

And you could do that in Blue Pete now.

I can, yeah. Blue Pete is, I will admit, it does everything the Defender does, except for

looks-wise. Yeah, better. I think it looks better. I think Blue Pete is a better looking

car. Blue Pete is a Disco 3 that we made a two-disco for.

You've been smoking something, if you think.

I agree with that.

Well, I was only smoking what you gave me.

No, a Defender is a better looking car.

I think a nice Defender 9T is a better looking car, but you're one, the paint's fallen off.

Yeah, the paint does need some attention.

The wheels are lovely.

The wheels are the steering wheel as well.

Yeah. No, that's just your taste.

It's all very Birmingham.

Look, this is coming from the man who wants to buy what?

I can't believe you two disagree with this.

We'll get onto that in a little bit.

Taylor wants to buy another car because he's a tar.

And it is the most Birmingham car you could possibly get.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

We're talking about buying and selling cars, which brings us very nicely, very neatly,

onto the podcast sponsor, which is CarVertical.

We use CarVertical every single day, every single hour.

I've used CarVertical three times today.

Yeah, I was going to say, you're speaking of buying.

You're looking at buying a car, which you'd CarVertical'd earlier.

Yes.

And the man on the phone to you said that it wasn't a Cat D.

And we CarVertical'd it, and it came up as it was.

Yes. So I might be buying a Cat D vehicle, which means that I do have a bit of bargaining.

But speaking of buying cars as well, you know Chris from Merch?

Yes.

He is buying his missus, Natasha, a Fiat 500C.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, convertible.

So is that the four?

Oh, no, oh, oh.

Yes, a convertible, like a 1.2 or something.

So Chris drove all the way to Romford in Essex, which is about an hour and a half,

two hours from his house, looked at the car, looked around at it.

He was like, hmm, you know, something doesn't really add up, blah, blah, blah.

And then on the way home, because Chris is a bit of an idiot sometimes,

he said to me, can you CarVertical this vehicle?

Wait, he bought it?

No, no, he didn't buy it.

Okay.

That would have been even more stupid.

But we always say, if you're going to look at a car van or motorbike, always, always,

before you even bother leaving your house, run a CarVertical report.

Chris didn't do that, so he wasted a lot of time.

So anyway, the car in question is a Fiat 500C with 72,000 miles on the clock.

That's quite low mileage.

Quite, yeah, good price as well.

But Chris said, oh, you know, the steering wheel just seems a little bit too worn,

and the gear lever as well looks a bit a little bit worn.

And I was like, well, I'm going to run a CarVertical for you.

And what can we see here?

That mileage needs attention, apparently.

An amber warning for mileage straight away.

Has it been clocked by any chance?

Woo-hoo, it gets better.

So we've got GreenTix, finance, damage, theft, safety.

So that all looks okay.

It's not being crashed.

But why is there an amber warning for mileage?

Maybe it's been off the road for a while, okay?

But yeah, it's a modern car.

So it says this vehicle may have fake mileage,

and then Taylor, would you like to have a little look at that?

So the graph goes up, and it comes down, and then it goes back up again.

What does it go down to?

58,000 miles.

And what was it at before?

82,000 miles.

So it's lost 30K.

So it's gone.

So in the middle of 2021, it had 82,000 miles.

Then in 2023, it had 58,000.

A couple of years later again, 73,000 miles.

Okay, so that's not even like an MOT test

that's put the mileage in wrong,

because that's slowly then gone up, hasn't it?

Yeah, exactly.

So that has been clocked back.

It's definitely been clocked.

So I said to Chris, you've literally just wasted like five or six hours of your time.

But what made him walk away then?

Firstly, he said that the car dealer was a bit of a scumbag.

Okay.

And he didn't like the vibe that he was getting.

So that's already put you off.

But he even like test drove it and did all of those things.

But I reckon I guarantee there are a few things that he missed,

because he didn't have a Taylor,

and he also didn't car vertical it before.

So please, please, please, we're not just saying it for fun.

Car vertical, you can't van a motorbike before you do.

Also, if you want to get 20% off your car vertical report,

then use the code AlexCast.

And if you front load and you get lots of car vertical reports now,

you will get up to 50%.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry.

So it's emotional, isn't it?

Yeah, no, no, that's really upsetting.

You'll get up to 50% off your car vertical reports.

And as we know, car vertical doesn't only work in the UK.

It works in most of Europe, America and Australia.

So don't be a Chris.

Check a car before you go and buy it, right?

Yeah.

We know that.

Okay.

Anyway, let's move on.

Sorry.

Well, I was going to say, I've got some Chris news.

Oh, what?

Yeah.

Our Chris?

Yeah.

Chris and merch news.

We see, it's quite a sad day.

Oh, no.

Do you know what I'm talking about here?

No.

We're losing part of the family.

Oh, what is, is Chris going?

No, no, no, no, no.

It's, it's red.

And it's been, it's been with us since the start.

Oh, oh, I know.

Wait.

Oh, it is a bit sad.

This is a bit sad.

Chris news.

I, it's a bit sad.

Is he selling a motorbike?

He's selling something.

Well, I say selling.

It's, it's going to the unfortunate scrapyard.

Yeah.

Oh, Vanny D.

You may remember Vanny D.

He's been with us since probably near the start of Auto Alex.

We did it.

We did a van buying challenge.

We did.

We bought Vanny D and then Chris sort of took Vanny D under his wing and used it as the merchandise van.

Have we had Vanny D for longer than Big Pete?

Yes.

Really?

I think, I think Vanny D was one of the,

OG purses.

OG, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where was that from Letchworth Motor?

Yeah, yeah, which aren't going anymore.

Yeah, they're not bloody old, they've closed down.

I think we bought Big Pete when we were in the, not, yeah, we were in the unit before.

Yeah, we did.

And we bought Vanny D when we were still at yours.

Yeah.

Oh, bloody old.

So, yeah, it's, it's, yeah, it's going.

Hold on.

We've got, didn't I say mechanic Tom welding a transit?

Hello to.

Oh, maybe it's him.

Shall I get in contact with Tom and say, can you weld our transit?

So, well, our Vanny D is not just welding.

There is a lot starting to go wrong with it.

And obviously those transits are, those generations are known for rusting.

They're really bad.

Yeah.

And I think that in the last MIT it was discovered there was a lot more rust than even we thought there was.

So, and it's got to the point as well where we're not going to, we're going to our shows,

but we're not going to as many shows as like we used to set up stands in lots of other shows and stuff

like that, but we're not doing that as much.

So it kind of doesn't, we don't need a van every day.

No.

Yeah.

That's a bit sad.

It is quite sad.

Yeah.

We're going to have to say goodbye to Vanny D.

He's done well.

He's done really well.

Like, yeah, you think of what that van started off as and what it is now.

Yeah.

Rusty.

Yeah.

It's really rusty.

I don't want to cry.

So let's move on.

Okay.

To what we've been up to, we've got a lot to get through.

I will start if I may.

Yeah.

Got some more bits for the Audi RS4.

You know, my Bradford spec RS4.

Love this car, don't you?

I really, oh my God.

It's such a good car.

I told you.

I've been telling you all along how good they are.

Yeah.

It is, it is annoying.

And you know, I ozone the interior as well with your little ozone machine.

People are asking about ozone machines.

Does anyone know how it actually works?

It's something about it removes the oxygen molecules or something like that in the air.

It creates ozone and kills any bacteria and that like odor is a bacteria or such, isn't it?

So it kills it.

Okay.

So anyway, when you set it up in your car, you like run it for like 15 minutes

and then that's pretty much it.

You open the windows and just I just let the car array for about three, four hours

and it doesn't smell of smoke anymore.

You can get ozone machines on Amazon for what you also like 40 quid.

It's 40 quid.

Yeah.

I will admit, I stopped my head and it needs another round, I would say.

Okay.

But it's so much better than what it is.

If you've got a car that stinks of smoke or anything like that,

it just stinks and just buys up by an ozone machine and just blast it for 15 minutes.

Question.

Yeah.

You know, the government always going on about global warming and that there's a hole in the

ozone layer and it's letting air out or whatever.

Like it's got a puncher.

Yeah.

Why don't we all just buy an ozone machine and put it on and then we fill it back up?

Or why don't we just have a giant one?

If we can create the thing that's missing.

Yeah.

Well, with an ozone machine, you're specifically told

not to go inside the vehicle and let it aerate out.

Yeah, I know.

So I imagine if everyone turned one on, we would turn ourselves into a giant.

Yeah, but if you put it on like the roof here out and it went up,

then surely it would do that.

No, because you know what would happen then?

People would fall off their roofs.

No, seagulls would start dropping out of the air.

Do you know what?

That's fine by me.

I don't like seagulls because they make your chips.

They make loads of noise and they shit all over your car.

They are dickheads.

They are like the dickhead of the bird world, aren't they?

They're like flying dogs, but they're shit dogs.

Gareth ran a seagull over at university.

Really?

Yeah, he said it was like running over a small child.

Do you know what they're like?

They're like flying horses.

They are, yeah.

Because horses are shit.

They're very dense.

Yeah, they're like flying glue.

They taste good though.

What?

Yeah, seagulls or the horse.

Yeah, the beak.

Oh, OK.

I'll start from the beak.

I don't know.

Can we move on?

Yeah.

So if bought some more bits for the RS4, so headliner,

because we're going to do the headliner ourselves,

because apparently loads of people said it's not that difficult.

You can get the headliner out through the...

I cannot wait to say those exact words to you

when you're doing it.

20 minutes.

I'll have it done.

Now, I will have involvement in the mechanicals on that car,

but I'm going to leave that to you.

OK, fine.

I'm quite good at headliner.

Because I just never works.

OK.

It never works.

Yee of little faith.

This is my Kat S Audi RS4.

OK, we're going to do things ourselves as much as possible,

and that is one of the things.

Fisi racing coilovers have arrived as well,

because the coilovers that are on the car,

they are like completely blown.

They've exploded.

They literally have exploded.

You know when you go on the motorway,

and then you can see a wheel vibrating up and down,

that's what they're doing.

Do you think that might be launching over speed but in Bradford?

Probably, yeah.

Yeah, and hard accelerating from the police and stuff like that.

So yeah, that's very exciting.

So that's going to happen.

Last week on Thursday, I went to Dunsfold, the Top Gear test track.

Yeah.

And I was filming with Ben Collins, the stick.

That sounds fun.

And I arrived there in my M3 Touring,

yeah, because I wanted to arrive in style.

You know, my 320D, the slow one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Jimmy Broadbent was there.

Yes.

Mike Ferdinand was there.

Oh, yeah.

And we were all going to have a go in these Suzuki Llanas.

I won't give anything away,

but both of the Suzuki Llanas blew up.

Really?

And one of us didn't get to have a go.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

How did they blow up though?

Were they knocking?

Just exhaust should know.

So one of them was coolant.

It went everywhere.

And the other one, when I was,

so when one of us was driving, lost all power,

completely all power.

You put your foot on the accelerator and it just goes.

As it goes.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

That's probably an airflow, mate.

It's just unplug it and go again.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, there was a mechanic there and they could sort it out.

Oh, okay.

Either way, I did some laps and it was fun.

So it wasn't you then?

What?

Shit.

No, Mike didn't get to have a go.

Oh, sad.

Me and Brawl bent.

So yeah.

Sounds like good fun though.

It was really good fun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So yeah, it's amazing, like driving that car that I've seen

Tom Cruise's of this world driving as well.

Yeah.

Do you know, were they the exact cars?

Yeah, apparently so.

Yeah, yeah, they were.

So you would be able to like, so did you sniff the seat?

I liked the seat.

You could sniff Tom Cruise's arse.

I did.

Did you?

Did you guff in it?

I got pregnant.

Did you?

Yeah.

Oh, nice.

Yeah.

I didn't like the seat.

I made love.

So that was really, really fun.

So yeah, if you check out Ben Collins's channel, that will be out quite soon.

Deciding on the color of my Cleo Williams on Mike.

Okay.

So I've been asking my best friend, AI, Chatjupiter.

You've asked Chatjupiter so many, you've run out of pictures on Chatjupiter.

I have actually, it keeps on saying, sorry, you've run out of your picture limit.

Yeah.

I'm tired now, leave me alone.

So I'm thinking, like there's a few choices that I want.

Interlagos Blue, which is what your M5 is.

Yeah, which is a great color.

There's wrong choices and there's right choices.

Interlagos Blue is the right choice.

Oxford Green.

Right choice.

The right choice.

And Imola Red as well.

We'll post up the pictures from my best friend, Chatjupiter,

and then maybe you can help me decide as well.

But I'm leaning towards something like Interlagos Blue.

Do you know, it's interesting.

Obviously you did a poll on your Instagram.

And I thought, I knew the blue one would be the one that people would pick.

But it wasn't by the amount that I thought it would be.

Yeah.

I think it was like 50% blue, 30% green, and then 20% red.

Not many people wanted it red.

No, it's because people are idiots.

I think the car needs to say blue.

I agree.

I think because of the actual heritage,

because otherwise it will just look like any other Mark I Cleo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It would look like you could get one in a lot of colors and it will just look normal.

I think it's got to stay blue, but I do think it should be a different blue.

I think it should be what I showed you earlier, which is Alpine Racing Blue.

Yeah.

Well, I tried to ask Chatjupiter, but it told me I've run out of my limits.

I'll have to wait till tomorrow and actually have a look at what it might look like.

But that's a really nice blue that you get on an Alpine A110, the new one.

And it's the same color as the original Alpine back in the day.

It's got a lot of metallic in it, a bit more of a modern color.

I think it looks great.

I might have a look.

And I think that would go with the gold really well.

Yeah.

So I need to chat to our painter, Chris, just down the road.

And then he's going to spray up a few little swatches, and then we can have a look.

That's very exciting.

Apart from that, looking forward to food and fuel on the 11th of April at Bister Motion.

Same.

Me too.

Yeah, that's on a Saturday, isn't it?

I believe.

Yeah, Saturday.

Saturday the 11th, come to Bister Motion.

We've got the coolest cars, the best food.

And it's just going to be a really, really nice, chilled out day with great music.

And we're all going to be there as well to chat.

There's going to be like no stage stuff.

So it'll just be just a whole bunch of car nerds just loving life, looking at shit.

No question.

Yeah.

What are you bringing?

My heart tells me to bring Barney.

Because people always like to see Barney my M3 Touring.

Yeah.

And also there's loads of hype about M3 Tourings at the moment.

E46 M3 Tourings.

There's a company that's done a blue one.

I saw that.

And they're acting like it's the first one that's ever been done.

It's one of the first in the world.

It's like, no, there's like a few in the UK alone.

Yeah.

It's like, hello.

No, but the blue one looks really, really nice.

All speaking of Barney as well, I need to buy those seat mounts.

So I've spoken to a company, so I'm going to get some seat mounts.

And then it's going to go off for a full re-trim.

Nice.

And I'm thinking, cinnamon.

Cinnamon, are you just trying to copy me?

I'm a trendsetter.

Yeah, really, okay.

I'm a trendsetter.

Well, not with the car that you want to buy.

That's not trendy.

That's lame.

That's not true.

You've got poor taste.

Okay.

You're just copying me because I'm a trendsetter.

Shedfest as well, second of May.

Make sure you get your tickets.

We are a fast approaching sellout.

So do you know who's going to be at Food and Fuel, by the way?

It's very famous.

Very famous.

I know.

Do you know?

He's red.

No.

Yeah.

Go on.

The top gear.

No, Hilux, Rory.

Oh, well, there's that.

No, that's Shedfest.

Yeah.

I thought you said Food and Fuel.

Oh, did you?

No, I'm sorry.

It's someone even more famous.

Oh, go on.

Than a car.

Yeah.

Okay, go on.

It is.

This is going to be lame.

Oh, I know.

I do know.

Do you know?

Yeah, yeah.

Do you know?

He's really famous.

And he's in the room.

Oh, it's Trev!

Trev's here.

That's great.

Yeah.

Trev's going to come to Food and Fuel.

And if Trev's coming to Food and Fuel, you need to come to Food and Fuel.

Trev's security.

Don't mess with it, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, so that's going to be really good.

So get your tickets for all of those.

And then as I alluded to before, we might go, you and I,

might go and have a look at an estate version of a car that I really like.

No, you spent too much money this month.

Do you know?

You came in this morning and had to go at me and him.

No, I didn't know we were going.

And you did.

You said you two have been spending too much money.

You've been spending it like...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Can I give you a bit of context?

No.

Because Rory and Taylor were online looking at stuff to buy.

And then Rory said, we might have to wait a little bit,

because we spent a little too much money this month.

And I came in and I said, yes, you lot are really expensive.

So I didn't come in and immediately say...

You did.

You haven't got us.

No, the first thing I...

You hate us.

I agree.

You hate us.

No, I just hate you, Taylor.

No, you hate us.

You don't want us to have any fun.

Oh, bloody it.

God, you stress me out so much, you two.

You really do.

You just hate me.

OK.

It's a love-hate relationship, Taylor.

So, anyway, we're going to have a look at a car in maidenhead.

Yeah.

It's sprint blue.

It is sprint blue.

And it's got a sunshine roof.

And it's got a long bum.

And it's got sporty chairs.

And a V8 morder.

And four before.

Oh, it's nice.

I'm so excited.

And it's got wingback chairs.

Is that too much?

I've given away too much.

Yeah, you have.

Yeah.

Yeah, so...

So the question is, is what are you doing with the old version of this vehicle?

I'm scrapping it.

It's already scrapping.

You know.

I'm bored of it now.

OK.

Yeah.

I'd rather scrap it than you have it.

But I'm without a car.

Oh, you?

OK.

Why?

Because you haven't bought that M2.

You silly tar.

So you've given it away now.

Yeah, yeah.

That's just the thing I do.

So, Alex reckons, right, that there's only two cars I've ever wanted from brand new.

Yeah.

A Cayman GT4, which is very cool.

Cool.

Buy one of those.

OK.

That would be a lot better.

I'll just go and pull 80,000 pounds from my Anus, should I?

80,000 pounds.

Well, you're spending money like water, aren't you?

You've got a big debt with me.

Why don't you make it bigger?

No, I do not.

Yes, you do.

80,000 pounds is enough.

You owe me 100,000 pounds.

No, I don't.

Or the other one is a BMW M2.

Sorry, I switched off there.

And you're not thinking they're boring.

I just think it's the worst M car.

It's so boring.

Drove boring car M2.

Do you even know what it is?

Well, he likes TVRs and old cat.

Like, I don't...

Well, he don't like TVRs.

He likes Land Rover.

Yeah.

But yeah, I just...

The M2, if it is a great looking car, do you know what?

I drove one at the weekend.

Yeah.

And it was a manual competition.

And do you know the best way to describe it?

Straight off the bat.

It feels like a new E46 M3.

OK.

It feels really good.

Good for you.

I'm very happy for you and everyone else who finances these cars.

Well, I need to...

Right.

I need to sell my 330D and buy one

because the cost of diesel at the moment is too extortionate.

You're going to get one of those.

A mortgage.

Oh, sorry.

I don't want an M4.

An M4 is so much better than an M2.

No, an M2 looks a lot better.

No, oh my...

Now you are smoking something.

I'm not.

No.

Also, I don't want a mortgage

because I don't know where I want to live.

Oh, right.

Well, just please rent a house.

Why?

Because you really want to move out and rent a house.

No, that's...

And now you're delaying things again.

You only want that.

So my commute is shorter.

No, I just want you closer to me.

I want to be able to smell you.

Well, you got a spare bedroom, haven't you?

I do.

Yeah.

I would rather put pins in my eyes.

Right, then we're going to pause the podcast

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Now, Rewind about three and a half, four years ago,

I was considering leaving Carthroatall,

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Very, very scary.

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But early on into the whole auto-Alex journey,

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came up to me, and what did you say to me?

Well, you said, you're an idiot.

Stay with Cottonade, really.

Yeah, well, you phoned me.

I was walking around in the garden center.

Oh, really?

Yeah, and you were like, Chris, I've done a thing.

Oh, no.

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I've done it.

Yeah, after the first video, and it got real,

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I was, yeah.

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Indeed.

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I did.

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Right, on with the podcast.

Anyway, Taylor, what have you been up to except for wanting to buy a silly car?

Well, this weekend I got my old FireFault AI out.

Yeah.

I spent, do you know what?

I loved it.

I spent a day cleaning it.

Did you?

I cleaned it inside and out.

I put a trim shine on it.

I cleaned all the engine bay.

I polished my supercharger.

Okay.

I was loving it.

Are you all right there?

He looked like he was about to drown.

Put your hand around this bottle.

It's large, isn't it?

I'm used to this.

Why is it so big?

Because I want to drink at least three litres of water at the moment.

Yeah, but why don't you just have two bottles?

Why do you have to have one massive one?

You lose all of yours anyway.

It means I drink it though.

I'm holding a two-litre bottle in my hand at the moment,

in case you're wondering with your ear holes.

And I'm getting, you hate me.

Hold that.

It's difficult though with one hand.

Okay.

Try and drink from it.

That's like a ladder.

It is like a ladder, isn't it?

You could knock someone out with that.

You could.

Yeah.

Can I try?

No.

Right.

Where were we?

I spent a whole day cleaning my FireFault AI.

Yeah.

I loved it.

Really enjoyed it.

And then in the evening, I went down a sandpan.

And it was the busiest I've ever seen it.

It was insane.

It was lit, bruv.

I went down there, sat in a bit of traffic,

went down in a seafront.

I've got a space right on the front.

I've got fish and chips.

Thanks for the invite, by the way.

Oh, well, I did tell you all about it,

like a week or so ago.

Half doves.

No, like a week or so ago.

No, you said you were going.

You didn't say would you like to come.

It's because you hate me, isn't it?

Oh, right.

Okay.

You wouldn't have gone anyway.

I might have done it.

It's more than 30 miles away.

And it involves from driving one of his cars?

Yeah.

I could have taken your Land Rover Defender,

couldn't I?

I know that doesn't run, probably.

It does, actually.

Can't wait for you to sell all that.

It just needs to be sold.

It does.

Yeah.

Also, speaking of which, I'm selling a car.

I've sold two cars.

Yeah.

I'm selling another.

Oh, are you going to announce it?

Yeah.

I'm going to announce it.

And I'm going to say it, and it is official,

and there's no going back from this.

Go on.

I am selling my Peugeot 205 GTI.

Is that the car that Tom offered you 20,000 pounds for on our trip?

Yeah, I don't think that was a genuine offer.

No, it was a genuine offer.

No, it was.

It was in one of my arms.

If you shook his hand, he would have done it.

He would have had to do it.

Well, look, that's by the by.

I've kept it for a bit longer.

I love it, and I will be upset to sell it,

but my 911 is absorbing me at the moment as a whole,

and I don't really see myself using it that much.

No.

So I am going to part ways with it.

So if anyone wants to buy a Peugeot 205 GTI.

Five grand.

Give me a shout.

It's not five grand.

It will, but it owes me a fair bit.

So I'd quite like to get back what I put into it.

That's not how cars work, Taylor.

You know this.

I know, but I'd like to.

And I do think they're worth quite good money at the moment.

So yeah, if anyone wants one, hit me up.

It is very nice.

I really enjoy driving that.

And it's got a great engine in it,

and yeah, I've done a lot to it.

So hit me up.

Almost as cool as the Clio Williams, that car.

Almost.

I would say it's cooler.

Yeah, you would, but you're a man of not great taste.

That is not true.

Well, you want to buy an M2.

I reckon 90% of the people listening to this podcast

would agree that an M2 is a nice car.

No.

Look how many pockets your trousers have got.

Okay.

Anyway, yeah, went down a south end.

On Saturday, drove the M2 yesterday.

Did you see any nice cars at south end?

I saw some amazing cars at south end.

There was genuinely, I saw,

there was a Lamborghini Aventador SVJ.

And then at the other end of the spectrum,

you've got Fiesta XR2s, XR3s.

There was RS Turbos.

There was Escort Mexicos.

There was Sylvia's.

There was like Japanese stuff, Supras.

There was a 1000 horsepower Supra there.

There was a Lotus.

I don't even know what it was,

but it was really small and bubbly.

There was a tank.

What?

There was Army Landrovers.

Wow.

There was people that came from Scotland

and from the Isle of Wight, to go and say.

I didn't know south end was this.

Such a big thing.

Live and direct.

There was obviously the usual

Sierra and Escort Cosworths, millions of them.

Were there lots of burnouts?

There was a few.

Excellent.

There was, I turned around actually,

I was talking to someone.

I turned around, I could hear this burnout going on.

And I thought it was like, you know,

like a gulf or something,

because it sounded like a four cylinder turbo.

I turned around and there was just some old bloke

in a Sierra Cosworth, just doing a fat burnout.

And I went, fair.

That's great.

There was quite a few Mark I Focus RSs as well.

Really cool.

There was like, mint stuff there.

Amazing.

There was a 635 CSI.

Excellent.

With Alpina stripes on the side of it.

Nice.

There was an E39M5.

There was loads of stuff.

E46M3s.

There was like, more cars there

than were cool that you would see at some shows.

Oh, wasn't it?

It was amazing.

It was really cool.

And there was a great variety.

You just mentioned E46M3.

I've forgotten an update.

I've ordered an eventuary hybrid intake.

Carbon intake for Barney.

Oh, so you're finally going to get that.

There's a lot of that.

You do that.

There we go.

Yeah, that's it.

So, yeah, sorry.

I'm sorry.

I love carbon at the moment.

It's good.

I'm a trendsetter, aren't I, Rory?

No, no.

It's overrated.

Right.

Is it, is it, Rory?

Well, Rory, you've also ordered a carbon fiber intake.

How has he?

For one of your cars, haven't you?

But annoyingly, mine was the most expensive out of all of our carbon fiber intake.

Yes, but it's massive.

That's actually, it's huge.

It's not true.

Oh, is it?

My E46M5 was a bit more expensive.

But yeah, so I've got one coming for my ass, then.

You do.

Which is...

I'm really excited about that.

And it replaces the whole front end of the engine bay.

Like it's not just like a little,

like the whole thing turns into a massive carbon intake.

When you put that on, right, I'm going to stop taking the piss out of it,

saying it looks like a Ford.

Because it's not a Ford.

Yeah, but I'll stop taking the piss.

Okay.

Question.

Now that you've done all the bits to it, is that a forever car?

Oh, yeah.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really?

Do you know, I get in that and like the noise that comes from the...

If I have intake noise and the exhaust noise coming from that car.

Be good.

And it's a manual V8.

Yeah.

And that's thin.

Like, what more could you do?

It's got to go up in value at some point.

It's got to.

Yeah.

I reckon so.

It's a lovely car that really is a nice car.

There.

And all the little touches of the like the ductile little spoiler that we put on,

the rear diffuser, the front lip.

It's the wrong colour slightly, but we'll sort that out.

Is it still blue?

Oh, the rear lights.

The rear lights are blue.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I think they do need painting.

So I caught you off anyway.

No, no, that's fine.

You just hate me.

And yeah, so I went down to Southend,

drove the M2 yesterday.

Last week, we've been working on my Porsche.

Yep.

Which is not good.

It's in tatters.

It's probably worse than the worst case scenario that we expected with that car,

because it needs multiple rebuilds.

Yeah.

And it's going to cost thousands, literally thousands of pounds,

which is why I've been a bit stressed out.

You've basically bought a shell.

I have basically bought a shell.

So there's an issue with a gearbox now, isn't there?

There is also an issue with the gearbox.

That was an existing issue.

Yeah.

So that also needs a rebuild.

Yeah.

Which is going to cost about five grand.

Can you make it out of carbon fiber at least?

Sounds nicer when you're changing gear.

I don't think that would be any cheaper.

No, probably not.

So yeah, we need to send that off,

because I did try and strip it down,

but you need some special tools to do it.

And I can't, we don't have those tools basically.

And I don't think we can get hold of them either.

So yeah, we need to send that off to a specialist.

So that's going with the engine down to Porsche mode in Bristol,

later on this week, and they're going to have a look.

But yeah, it's really not good that car.

It's a lot worse than I expected.

I did have a little bit of buyer's remorse last week

after finding out about the gearbox,

and I did get sad about it,

but I know that it'll all be worth it in the end.

So knowing what you know now, you bought it for $17.5.

No, I bought it for $17.

$17, sorry.

Would you still buy it for $17 again, knowing what you know?

I would have liked a bit off, but I do still think it's cheap,

because I was actually looking at prices of them over the weekend,

and they are worth a bit more than I thought.

I think that mine done is probably actually worth about $42 grand.

Oh, okay, because I reckon you'll be 30 deep.

Yeah.

With the paint as well.

They're all there about, yeah, with the brakes and the paint and the interior.

And I have found a carbon intake for it.

Yeah, okay.

Because I'm a trendsetter, you can say.

No, because I got the first carbon intake out of all of us, actually.

Yeah, but you kept it on the down low.

And also, can I just say that I gave you the idea to put the carbon intake on your RS4,

and I found it for you, and I sent you the link.

So in fact, I think you'll find once again that I'm the trendsetter.

So take it as a trendsetter.

We've missed a cinnamon interior.

Thank you very much.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

We all know cinnamon's a good idea, except for Tom Lentzle.

We all know that I am the youngest and most fashionable of all of us.

I do like your trousers.

Look at these pockets.

They're fantastic.

I've only been wearing them for the last year.

Obviously, I've washed them since, but these are my work trousers.

Yeah, I'm just used to you without trousers, too.

That's why I get very confused sometimes.

Here we are.

But yeah, also, so I've been working on my Porsche.

That's been stressing me to high heaven.

I sold my Corrado.

Yeah.

So we took that to Vauxworld last weekend.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We spent the day with Slothouse Boys.

We did.

That was really good fun.

Yeah, yeah, really good fun.

I did everything I wanted to do with that car.

It's absolutely mint.

Yep.

I had loads of messages on Instagram about buying it,

and I sold it to a really good friend of mine, Steve.

Amazing.

He actually bought it, and he messaged me when he got home,

and he said, I love the car.

Oh, amazing.

I'm very happy to hear it.

And he's also got only 30, 325i, which he loves.

So the two together.

Oh, that is ideal.

Peak 90s.

He loves them to bits.

So he's really, really happy.

I'm happy.

And yeah, other than that, fairly average week,

just working on all of our projects.

Yeah.

Working on my projects.

Yeah.

Stressing ourselves out and living life, I suppose.

I'm wanting to buy silly cars.

Look, an M2 is a good option.

I just sum it a bit newer and lower mileage.

Do you know what I think my biggest downer on that car is

that it's still got quite a lot of money to lose.

I disagree.

I think it's a good one.

You get one for 20.

Yeah, that is still going to go down.

It's not at the bottom of its price curve, though.

It's a depreciation curve.

I think that's the thing that annoys me most.

I would only buy a car, a cool car.

I mean, it's a cool car when it's at the bottom of its depreciation curve.

I don't think they'll get much cheaper.

I think it will.

Because even an E92M3 is about the same price.

Yeah, but they went down.

An E46M3.

I know they've gone back up.

Yeah, but they don't really go below like 15, any of them.

Well, you can get an M3, an E46M3 for 10.

You could have a few months ago.

Oh, yeah, shit.

Really, shit.

Okay, and wait until an M2 is 10 grand and then buy it.

Maybe.

And then, at least, you can shush it up a little bit.

Well, I'll keep my eyes peeled.

All right.

Maybe I'll buy a smashy-uppied one and we'll fix it.

We'll glue it all up.

Brilliant.

Rory, what have you been up to?

I... Well...

Do you want to start with the big news?

Oh, go on then.

I've bought another car.

It's probably the coolest car I think I've ever bought in my life.

And I never thought I'd be able to afford it.

It's not...

Never in my wildest dreams.

Just a car, though, is it?

It's like... It's awesome.

It's a lifestyle.

That's what it is.

It's a work of art.

And I am fuming.

Is it too cool for Rory?

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

And he's already started looking at modifications

and I know he's going to ruin it.

So...

He wants to get those LED headlights from...

Yeah, and he wants to put small bumpers on it and all this crap.

Just leave it.

Rory, please just leave it.

You guys have always taken the piss.

And especially after you got your 9-11 tail,

you kept saying, what color is your 9-11?

And then I did have a conversation with you and said,

if I was ever going to get a 9-11,

it would be green and it would be a G-body.

Now, tell me, Rory.

Oh, here we go.

Mummy and Mummy are fighting.

Where did you get that idea from?

Trendsetter by any car.

Because as it turns out, Rory, that's my dream car.

Not so much in green.

No, green.

But that's my dream car.

Green G-body is my dream.

I'm not going to say dream car because we overused that.

But it's a car that I have lusted after

and I just didn't think was even attainable.

So yeah, it's funny because that's been my dream car.

Because they are now like 50, 60 grand for like a no-K-ish one.

You've got your dream cars.

Why are you complaining?

I have got my dream cars, but I have a few.

And you lot just keep buying up all the others.

Yeah, because we like rubbing it in your face.

Yeah, you do.

You just do it out of principle.

Now you hate me.

We're going to be seeing that car very soon.

Yeah, so basically, Taylor sent me a message.

Where did you get the message from?

So I got offered it on Instagram for a friend of mine

who posted it on his story and I messaged him straight away

and I was like, right, tell me about this, talk to me.

And then for some amazing reason, I have no idea why,

I put it in our group chat and Rory's popped up and gone,

up, I want a bit of that.

It's Mustang gate all over again, isn't it?

So it was like, I'm having it.

Well, realistically, you weren't in a position to buy it.

I don't think you would have bought it

because you're a 993 guy, aren't you?

Yeah, I'm not keen on Jeep body, yeah.

So if we didn't get it, no one would have got it.

I would have sold my limbs.

You wouldn't have done that.

No, I'm very much lead deep engrossed in my turbo.

Would you have sold your M5 for it?

Oh, would I have sold my M5 for it?

Oh, this is interesting.

Straight swap.

A straight swap?

Straight swap.

Yeah, I would straight swap it.

Oh, I would, yeah.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, I would.

I didn't realise you hated the M5 so much.

I've had to really think about that.

That shows you how much I love my M5.

I adore that car.

Jadour.

Oh my God, I love it.

But yeah, basically then Taylor sent it in the message

and what it was was a barn find.

9-11 G-body in green.

Yeah, 1982.

1982 SC 3-litre.

3-litre with 204 horsepower.

Yeah, and it's only got 91,000 miles on the clock,

which for one of those is actually really low.

Yeah.

And yeah, it's basically owned by this guy who,

I think unfortunately fell ill,

but it's been in the garage even before he fell ill

for the last 15 years, pretty much.

It's done no mileage in 15 years.

And obviously we got there and we looked at it

and we just had to have it.

It's a very good looking car.

I wasn't there, unfortunately,

but the pictures you sent, I was drawing.

Oh my God, this was like,

you know when you dream of those barn finds?

Yeah, when we got there, the door was half open,

you just see half of it.

I'll never forget that.

And the sun was shining and I was like,

oh my God, I didn't even go there for me to buy.

And I couldn't even sleep the night before.

So Taylor messaged me and the guy wasn't free

for the next four days.

Oh, that's painful.

When he originally told me about it,

and then the guy was responding back going,

yeah, you guys can come.

I was actually like shaking a tiny bit.

Like I was that excited about this car.

I couldn't believe it.

And then when we saw it, it does need a bit more work

than I think we thought it did.

It's mainly body work.

All right, it needs a lot of body work.

What about you've got a nice build

that's just come through and that's mates rates as well.

That is mates rates.

So design 9-11 has already had their first.

And I know it's the first of many orders

going through that car.

So I've ordered enough that it should be back on the road

by the end of this mechanically.

And then it won't need an MOT after this MOT, will it?

No, no, no.

That's cool.

So I've ordered basically everything to pass that.

And then, and then yeah, just at some point,

it needs to go for a full respray.

And I don't mean full respray.

But yeah, it's 9-11.

It is an older car.

It's very cool.

But I do have to sell some stuff because that was like,

yeah, it's too much money for me just to drop without going,

oh yeah, that's fine.

I'll just keep everything else.

And you have too many cars.

Yeah, I think what's happened is,

is we've both bankrupted ourselves with Porsche 911s.

Yes.

It's what we've done.

Yes, definitely.

Rubbish examples of Porsche 911s.

So do I have the only working 9-11?

No.

Why?

My 993?

Window.

It's what?

It's a working 9-11.

It's just got issues.

Right, okay.

It all starts and drives, technically.

Yeah, all right.

If we're going by that, mine's running and dry.

Okay.

So yours is road legal because mine is.

Is it though?

It is, yes.

Is the MOT still?

Yes, it is.

It's all valid.

Damn it.

And then tomorrow's going to be a really exciting day.

What's happening tomorrow?

Bailey is coming to the unit for the first time.

Oh, I'm going to meet your depressed dog.

He's not depressed.

I remember that.

He's the happiest dog in the world.

Honestly.

It's in the world.

You play with that dog and I refuse anyone to be sad after doing it.

He's literally the most like,

Hey guys, go with a plate.

It's been like you, isn't it?

Yeah, he's got that golden retriever energy.

It's actually a thing.

Like, I can't wait.

Excellent.

He's going to be covered in oil by the end of the day though.

So that's not going to be great.

He's going to need a haircut.

Yeah.

Short back and sides.

And that's pretty much what I've been up to.

Nice.

Okay.

Let's move it on now.

We've had an email at podcast at autoalexcars.com.

There was a delay there.

No.

Can I allow that?

Because I think he was like breathing or something.

Was he breathing?

Yeah.

He's thinking about his pulse, wasn't he?

Yeah.

So we've had an email from Jamie Gavin and the subject line,

which I think you'll like Taylor,

is Bentley Continental for £6,000 question mark.

Yes.

Hello, Alex and Co. Love the podcast.

Being a fellow shipbox enthusiast,

I can't relate to a podcast more.

So cheers for putting out the episodes to get me through my day.

As I said, I'm a shipbox enthusiast.

I've had all the usual stuff.

MX-5s, Accord Type-Rs, 350 Zs, Alpha GT-V Cup with the BUSO VXRs,

Focus RS, E92 M3, and currently have a W202 C63 Coupe,

Edition 30 GTI SLK 350, Disco TD5, a Chinese electric thing,

but we'll gloss over that.

Chinese electric thing.

Right, talk to me about this C63.

He's also got a Ducati Monster and an Aprilia Milet Gen 1.

Basically, I've got more stuff than space.

But, he says in capitals,

I've been offered a Bentley Continental GT

with no MOT that's been sat for a year,

but has had all the previous advisories sorted.

It looks clean, has decent history, drives nice,

and has no bankrupting noises.

Here's the best part.

The car is £6,000.

Am I being completely mad?

I'm sure Taylor will have a million reasons why it's stupid,

but would love to hear your thoughts

on every reason as to why it's a brilliant idea

and my wife is just being pessimistic.

Keep up the good work, guys.

Cheers.

Now, what I'm going to say to that,

Jamie, if you're listening to this,

if you don't buy it, send it to me.

Because I'm without a car.

I need a car.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, all 11 cars aren't working.

In fairness, I've been banging on about, for ages,

I want to buy a cheap Bentley Continental, haven't I?

You have said this for a while.

Do you know what car I'm buying next?

That's just a cheap Bentley Continental.

I will set your hair on fire.

So what are we saying then?

Why are they good cars?

I don't know.

It's just cheap luxury, isn't it?

It's a bit of fun.

Like, even if you just have it for a little bit,

just a few months or so.

See, you say that.

I did recently watch, do you know High Peak Autos?

Yeah, I've seen that.

And he bought a Continental.

That hasn't really gone to plan.

What's happened?

Well, he sent it to a specialist.

He charged him a load of money to fix a load of things.

And then he didn't really actually fix the main issue

of the actual running.

So that he still ends up with a Bentley Continental

that isn't working.

They're a little bit like my V10 Twyreg

in that they are a big pain

and usually you have to take the engine out

to fix anything on them.

Yeah.

But they are cheap.

And they are luxurious.

Is that a W8 engine?

W12.

W12?

By-turbo or twin-turbo.

I'm nutty.

Hell, okay.

I think they're 500 or 600 horsepower from factory.

So very, very fast.

And very large.

But big headache, big problem.

All big problem.

Two VR6s glued together.

You know, like the Golf R32.

Yeah, there are, I think it's a six-litre W12.

Okay.

So are we saying to Jamie he needs to buy it,

otherwise you will?

Yeah, yeah.

If you don't buy it, just pop it over to me in the link

on my God, on Instagram.

And we'll go and have a, it's a good day out for us.

It'll be a laugh.

Would it really?

Yeah.

Something is a dough, isn't it?

Rory, what are you saying?

Good idea, bad idea?

I'll just do it.

Yeah, whatever.

Stick it on the credit card.

That is such terrible advice.

That is terrible.

Look, in fairness, a six grand, realistically,

if you bought it and it broke,

you could probably resell it for that again, broken.

So I don't think it's a terrible idea, really.

Yeah.

And I don't really know prices of these things,

but six grand seems very, very cheap.

Yeah.

When else are you going to get a chance

to get into one of these cars for six grand?

I mean, we say that.

They might become a little bit cheaper

with a cost of fuel at the moment.

Oh, bloody hell, the cost of fuel.

£1.80 for diesel, yeah.

For diesel, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's why I'm selling my free footage.

It's just not efficient anymore.

That's why I've been daily in my 540i.

Do you know, actually, that comes to a point

that I just worked out the other day,

it's now cheaper for me to drive my Aston into work

than it is to drive the Land Rover.

That's because the Land Rover is terrible on fuel.

That is true.

Yeah, but it's now actually more efficient

for me to drive the Aston then.

Yeah, but it just shows how shit the blue paint is on fuel.

What do you get in blue paint?

26, 27.

Okay, and in the Aston?

21.

Yeah, okay.

And then because of obviously the difference now in petrol,

because diesel is now 32p a litre more.

Yeah.

It works out about the same.

You know what that means?

I think you need to drive it in, don't you?

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

And then stick a great big air box on it.

Yeah, for efficiency.

Yeah, yeah.

Because it'll be lighter.

Yeah, exactly.

Do you know what that means?

That means that it's probably about the same,

if not slightly cheaper for me to daily Jeff than blue paint.

Yes.

My 5-litre Land Rover.

Yes, it would be, yeah.

But you should be dailying your 330 diesel.

I haven't washed it in a couple of weeks.

Oh, and he can't go out in a clean car.

Alex, come on.

And the Costa diesel.

The Costa diesel.

That's because he bought a Birmingham spec 330D, isn't it?

I like my 330D.

Thank you very much.

Good car, that.

Good car, good car.

Right.

Anyway, let's move it on.

Well, hang on.

What?

Go on.

What do you think of the Benton?

I said buy it.

Oh, you said, but you agree with it.

No, everyone says buy it.

Everyone says buy it.

Get on with it.

Let us know, Jamie, how you get on.

And if it blows up, then we'll buy it at 50.

But in all situations, Jamie, only buy it

if you actually have a substantial amount of money

waiting in the wings to fix it.

Yeah.

And we're not liable for any unhappiness

with regards to you buying it and it blowing up.

But I will say,

but if you don't want it, it's mine.

If he sticks it in an auction, even if he gives up on it,

you probably still get six grand back from that.

Yeah, probably.

Yeah.

We'll end up buying it.

Right.

I want to introduce a game, which is how much that?

So there's going to be about 10 cars or 10 questions.

We've got two cars in each round.

These are 80s and 90s cars.

And I want you guys to tell me which one was more expensive

than when it was born.

These are all UK car prices as well.

Do we have to give the price or which one we think is more?

You get one point each.

You can give me the price as well.

OK.

Yeah.

But you'll answer two questions.

Give me one price.

OK.

So the first car.

We've got a Mark II VW Golf GTI.

Have a think about that.

Or a BMW E30.

Now we're looking at base prices.

So what's the entry price for an E30 versus a Mark II Golf GTI?

First of all, Taylor, which one do you think is more expensive?

I reckon the E30 is more expensive.

Yeah.

What do you think the price for an E30 was?

About nine grand.

OK.

Rory?

I'm going to say Golf.

And I think a Golf would be ten grand.

And that's purely because I think E30s back in the day,

you could get them bog spec.

And I mean like bog, bog spec.

You could, but they were known as a premium product.

And the Golf GTI came in.

And the idea was is you get more fun for less money.

OK.

Taylor, you are correct.

The E30 was indeed more expensive.

An base spec E30 was £12,000.

And a Golf GTI was from £9,000.

So pretty good value.

Second question.

This is a good one.

We have got a Mercedes-Benz 190E or a Ford Sierra Cosworth.

Rory.

I'm going to say Cosworth.

£11,000.

Let's see if it's very cheap.

Taylor?

I don't know.

I don't know how much.

I reckon Cosworth.

And it was probably more towards £15,000.

OK.

Well, according to Jack GPT, it's the Mercedes-Benz 190E.

So for one of those, you'd be looking upwards of £18,000.

Anywhere between 18 and 22 from 190E.

For a Ford Sierra Cosworth, £16,000.

Oh.

Quite good value.

You said £15,000, though, didn't you?

Yeah.

So, yeah, not far off.

Right.

Next one.

We have got, oh, this is going to be tight.

Mazda MX-5 Mark I or a Toyota MR2 Mark II.

Taylor?

What one's more expensive?

I reckon the MR2.

And I reckon it was a £12,000.

OK.

Rory?

MR2.

I'm going to say £13,000.

OK.

Both of you are right.

It is a Toyota MR2, price of which started at £17,000.

Wow.

Mazda MX-5, £14,000 back in 1990.

OK.

And we'll do a couple more.

We have got a Peugeot 205 GTI or a Volkswagen Corrado.

Oh.

The Corrado was more expensive.

Yeah.

And I reckon it was about £14,000.

OK.

Rory?

See, I also do think the Corrado, but I'm going to have to be controversial

because otherwise I won't win because I'll just pick it.

So, I'm going to go golf and I'm going to say...

You mean golf?

There's not golf.

No, there's not golf.

Sorry, not golf.

Two F5 GTI.

And I'm going to say £15,000.

OK.

Taylor, it's the Corrado, price of which started at £16,000 for a Peugeot 205 GTI.

You would have been spending £10,000.

What?

Yep.

So, we do one more.

We'll do one more here.

Nissan 300ZX or a Toyota Supra Mark IV.

Oh, my God.

Is that a Supra?

OK.

300ZX is more expensive.

OK.

And I'm going to say £19,000.

Oh, that would be very, very affordable, wouldn't it?

Oh, f***.

But that's your answer, Taylor.

I...

It's just to be different because I don't know.

I'm going to say Supra.

OK.

What do you reckon that was new?

£19,000.

Very affordable again.

It's the Nissan 300ZX.

Well done.

But that would have cost you £30,000.

Oh, wow.

And a Supra would have cost you £32,000.

Oh.

Shall we go for one final car?

Go on, then.

We have got an Escort RS Cosworth versus a Subaru and Prepser WRX STI.

The Subaru and Prepser WRX STI.

And I reckon it was £21,000.

Yep.

I'm going to go scooby as well.

And I'm going to go...

I'm going to say it's more, I think it's £24,000.

OK.

It is indeed the Ford Escort RS Cosworth.

£22,000 for one of those versus £20,000 for the Subaru and Prepser.

I have no idea who won that.

And quite frankly, I don't really care.

Was it Taylor?

Well done, Taylor.

Thank you.

Thanks.

You win.

The ChatGBT.

How much that?

Yep.

Competition of the Year.

Pat on the lap.

Ow.

That hurts.

Do you know what?

I'm glad I didn't win that.

No, do you know what?

I win.

I win admission from you that I am a trendsetter.

No, let's move it on.

Right, two.

An email from Neil Holmes and he says,

help, I'm an addict.

Same.

What are you addicted to?

Cars.

OK.

No, I actually do think I have a problem.

I don't have a problem when you see that.

Do you know I agree?

You do have a problem.

I do think I have a problem.

You do have a problem.

You are obsessed.

I'm actually obsessed with cars.

Well, then you are the wrong person to be listening to

and giving advice to Neil.

Because his email says,

to the whole auto-Alex universe,

my name is Neil and I'm an addict.

That's right.

I've been infected by the rare and incredibly debilitating

disease, ECBD.

Which is, Rory?

Cars.

The E.

ECBD.

Everything.

Rory, I have the same disability.

Do you want me to read it out for you?

Because my doctor has literally diagnosed me with it.

Yeah, ECBD.

Extreme car buying disorder.

I live in a flat and currently have five cars.

Two Mercedes CLKs, a 2006 Mini Cooper, a Vauxhall Tigra,

and the other day on a whim,

I bought an Alfa 159 1.9 JTD Luso.

Who would live in a flat and have so many cars?

Rory.

Taylor.

Rory, come on.

Who would do that, Taylor?

You lived in a flat for 80s.

It's your name.

I had three.

It's your name, Neil Holmes.

Is this your alter ego?

No.

It has affected my relationships.

This is you.

I don't have a relationship.

Exactly.

I've never been in one.

And all of my free time has spent buying stuff for them

and fixing them.

Taylor, it's you.

I know, I've been diagnosed with it.

And because I need someone to blame,

I'm looking at you, boys,

because of the videos you put out every week.

I am blaming you, boys.

Yes, you're a bad bloody influence.

All right, Neil, calm down.

So, do you have any advice on how to slow down

or am I now doomed to getting myself deeper and deeper into debt?

Oh, no, it didn't say debt.

It says, into my car buying disorder,

the debt thing's just for you.

Shut up.

You shut up.

I'm not buying debt.

All right.

How can we help Neil?

Do you know what, Neil?

He's in trouble.

Why?

Yeah, Trev's shaking his head.

Why are you messaging us?

We are literally the free people.

Buy more cars.

In all fairness, Neil.

They're all strays.

Without being disrespectful,

you do have the same disorder as me,

but your selection is slightly shit.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I don't mean to be horrible.

But a tigra, a tigra.

Oh, we like a tigra.

I do not like a tigra.

They've got the little roofs, don't they?

They come out.

A tigra gave me back problems

and I'd see a chiropractor.

Really?

Yes, because when we drove to Ireland and back

in that tigra with the collapsed seat,

I was ruined for about two weeks.

Yeah, but you just named what it was there.

You said collapsed seat.

Yeah, I know.

He didn't say tigra with a collapsed seat.

It's probably got a collapsed seat,

because it's a tigra.

The dashboard is made out of bins.

Right, OK.

So how can we help?

Two Mercedes SLKs.

Two.

How can we help, Taylor?

Taylor, it's not your fault.

No, it is your fault.

It is actually your fault.

No, do you know what?

It's your fault.

Don't you dare point.

Neil, why are you writing into us?

Do you think I, by any chance,

Neil likes a convertible?

I'm going to assume that the SLKs are convertible.

Do you know what?

I was thinking, after all,

we're kind of like another convertible.

Get a tigra.

That'd be right on the street.

You could commute in that.

I don't want the tigra.

Right, can we help you,

or should we just say just buy cars?

It depends on...

Look, we are definitely not the ones

to be advised on this.

No, you are not the ones.

You are not.

No, we are not the ones.

I'm staying out of this.

But you could almost...

Like, I think from what people tell me,

I have to go buy,

which is maybe you should

consolidate.

Consolidate.

Yeah.

Consolidate.

That's what I'm doing.

Your fleet.

And maybe buy some nicer stuff

and actually finish doing them up.

That's the advice I gave you.

Yeah.

Because that's what I do.

That's the consolidation going.

And that's the advice I give you as well.

Yeah, I know which is why

I'm selling some of my stuff.

Why does no one give me this advice?

You're a lost course.

You just spend money like water, you do.

Yeah, on you two.

You guys are really expensive.

You cost me money.

Excuse me?

You stress me out.

You cost me money.

It's fantastic.

Oh, I love it.

I love it so much.

And how's your spring blue wing backs

that you're going to see later?

And how's your motorbike that you bought?

Oh, it needs to be repaired.

And how's your purple Range Rover?

Oh, I love it.

It's leaking a bit of oil with the mime,

but I love it.

Just see what I mean.

I absolutely love it.

Apparently, we're bad.

You are bad.

You're terrible.

Yeah, but I got storage for all that stuff.

And so have I.

And I still sell one.

No, you don't.

You've got storage for all of them.

Yeah.

Rory, have you got storage for all of them?

Yeah.

You owe me money.

You owe me storage money.

Look, man, you at the time said,

I could store some cars.

I can store whatever cars in the unit.

And you never specified an amount.

So it's...

That is true.

Look, that...

All he said to me was, don't take the piss.

Yeah, and that is unlimited.

And you are taking the piss.

And I think as long as we judge what the piss is,

then it's OK.

Don't you ever dare tell me that I need to sell my Hummer

because you're getting free storage.

You started it.

I'm finishing it.

You started it.

All right.

Neil, aka Taylor, calm down.

Buy some better cars.

Do you know what?

Neil, buy some more.

Flav isn't enough.

Like, get some more.

Don't get more, Neil.

You need another Tigra.

That's what you need.

Do you know what?

Two of each.

I was thinking the other day about just deleting the internet

off of my phone.

OK.

Because that is what causes me to...

I sit on my phone and I just look at cars.

Then you'll be walking the streets at night looking for cars

with little letters in them saying for sale.

And you've been always astray.

Oh, it is astray.

Yeah, I have to buy that.

Well, in that circumstance,

you know, I wouldn't be able to miss up the opportunity to buy.

Do you know what the problem is?

I think Neil has got...

What was it?

ECBD?

ECDM.

EC...

What, M?

Extreme Car Buying Disorder.

No, it's DD.

We've got the ECBD.

Very extreme.

So, yeah, consider yourself lucky because you could be us.

Yeah.

And then you'd be really screwed.

Yeah, we're in trouble.

No, yeah.

Speaking of...

Sometimes...

I want to go and look at that car today.

We need to go...

Oh, do you need a lift?

Yeah, we need to do it immediately.

Oh, you're going to stop having to go at me

for spending money like water?

Yeah, but we need to buy one more today.

I haven't bought one this week.

Look, it could be worse.

At least sometimes you don't forget what car you're going.

That is true.

Who would do that?

Both of you have done that.

I've done it on occasion.

And as of you...

Thank you very much.

Yes, you have.

You forgot about your E28 a while ago.

I'd never forgot about my E28.

The way you're saying that means that you forgot about it.

I did not forget about it.

Also, Rory, how's your storage?

Was free.

How much longer is it?

Three, four, Rory.

What don't you say?

Twit carefully.

Right.

Anyway, that's all we've got time for.

For this week's episode of the AutoX Podcast,

Rory, what have we got coming up?

We have got the classic cars road trip is finally happening.

I'm still trying to decide a location.

You say it's finally happening.

I'm currently looking at two of them in the unit.

This unit stinks of petrol.

Oh, Betty's back as well.

There's rusty petrol all over the floor.

There's a car over there with a cylinder head for the engine's got to come out.

I'm going to end this.

And this is going to be explicit, so I'm sorry, Alex.

Whoever decided to use filler to seal a hole in my rusty fuel tank,

you.

Who does that?

To be fair, the filler wasn't leaking.

It was the rusty bit that was leaking.

And on that happy note, thank you very much for watching with your

eye holes and listening with your ear holes.

Taylor and I have now got a car to look at.

So we're going to leave you to whatever you do to the best of your ability to shut up.

Another one of my dream cars that you're buying under my nose that I can't buy.

End it.

I hate you, Taylor.

Love you guys.

Bye.

S2 Ep32: I BROKE The Top Gear Suzuki Liana (& Help Pick A NEW Colour For My Clio Williams!)

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