Coolest V8 Bargains! | The Car Podcast #70

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Hello and welcome to the car podcast with Chris Harris and his friends.

Again, one of whom is very international, consistently international.

Neil is in the sunshine, as it says on his screen, you can't see that.

He's in Riyadh at the moment, Saudi Arabia.

Chris Cooper, where are you?

Somewhere in the city of Londonium.

London? Manage where are you?

Somewhere else in the city of Londonium.

And I'm in the city of Brigstow, otherwise known as Bristol.

This is episode number 70 or as the filthy mighty Chris Cooper says 69 plus one.

You did actually say that.

So let's kick off with what have you done in cars this week?

Manage I'm going to you first.

Well, it's actually been a great week of cars.

They're rather wonderful.

Mr. Cooper organized a ticket for me to go up to the Bristol scramble with Lola.

And not only did he do that, but the 1771 Club gave me hospitality.

So I just sort of arrived, was wafted into a car parking spot,

and then just spent the next three and a half hours gawping because it's wonderful.

It was freezing cold.

It was even raining very, very mildly at times.

But I mean, talk about meeting your tribe.

And the number of people who said lovely things about the podcast said,

Oh, but I'm disturbing you because I'm stopping you going off and looking at cars.

And they weren't disturbing me or stopping me doing anything at all.

I was talking to like-minded people about the things that we really, really love.

And I mean, almost too many high points to mention, but I will I'll mention too.

I'll mention too.

Okay. It was fantastic going to Broad Arrow.

And Joe Twyman has produced a book that you will all hear about that it's sort of,

it's sort of, I don't know, 24 by 24.

But it's a book cataloging every great helmet since a driver ever put a helmet on.

And he's literally starting with cloth and ending now.

Well, you're very, you're on it today, aren't you?

I don't know why.

Okay.

I'm so sorry.

On their heads, the heads attached to the neck.

Okay. And it's an intimate piece of clothing for a driver.

It's, it's, it's, it is.

Sorry, I couldn't read it to that.

It's, it's probably the most personalized thing a driver could own.

I think his helmet is.

I can't use the word.

No, you're so rude.

You're basically Benny Hill, aren't you?

Reincarnated.

I don't know how this is going.

That's what you are.

Sorry, keep going.

I'm just kidding.

So the point is that in the Broad Arrow garage,

there were three massive prints from the book.

Some goggles, a helmet and some gloves.

And it's hard to express.

I mean, I've had the pleasure of leafing through all 300 helmets, all 300 pages.

And it's just this gorgeous tone.

And so to see that, see that in print,

surrounded by beautiful cars was rather wonderful.

And the other really loving, J.K. was there.

And he was just on massive form.

And J has discovered that he's got a water roll.

Adidas, Adidas overalls.

I mean, just, it was hilarious.

He put them on, you know, he had a,

he had a rather beautiful aster there,

rather beautiful Rolls Royce there.

But I think the high point for the vista part of it

was definitely the Volta Roll overalls.

And they fit J.

Is Volta about the same size as J?

No, it's much taller.

He's very tall.

He's taller, stringy.

It's a blue, it's a lovely jacket, actually.

It's really, it's really, it's really quite a nice bit of kit.

In fact, I might just have gone online

and found a used one.

I bought one myself.

Because I think they're really, really cool.

He also has found a leather version that he's satisfied with.

So obviously he's got a, what his back office of unused kit

must be like, there's probably a house, isn't there?

Detached house full of jackets he's never worn.

But no, it was called as, I tell you,

I didn't go and look at the Joe Twyman book.

I probably should have done, but it's,

when I knew he was doing that project,

one of those things as a journalist you go,

that's a brilliant idea.

I wish I'd had that idea.

It's such a good idea.

Sorry.

Is it called a book of helmets?

Jesus Christ, Clifford.

It's-

No, I'm asking you what the name of the book is.

Oh, okay.

I don't know.

Helmets.

I think it might be.

Is it called?

What is it called?

Do you know what?

I don't know.

How brilliant is that?

I'll Google it in a minute.

You'll Google it in a minute.

Do you remember about 20 years ago,

maybe a bit less, when Radio 4 was really on song,

they did a history of the world in 100 objects

with the guy that's the curator who pushed me in.

It feels a bit like that.

Because if you see Sever's helmet that's all pitted with road rash,

it tells a story, doesn't it?

You want to investigate.

So it's a great idea of Joe's.

I presume this is not a cheap tone.

I know.

I think it's going to be monumentally expensive

or reassuringly monumentally expensive.

But I think if you're going to go around the world

to some of the great private collections to have donations

of helmets from some really, really special people,

people who've really looked after these things,

I mean, this stuff costs a lot of money.

I've really stupidly forgotten the name

of his partner, the photographer, who is extraordinary.

Because the photography, I've really never seen photography

like this.

To call it detailed is wrong.

I think characterful is probably the word.

You feel the character in every single photograph

that they have taken.

And I have to say, just bister just taking a step back

from that, just lovely people, coffee, sandwiches,

walking around, bit of mud, didn't matter.

Mr. Cooper sent us, I think it was 18 lovely photos

that he'd taken of pretty much every scary rally car

that you could imagine.

Oh, and that was the other thing.

There was a BMW M1 there, a red one.

Yeah.

I can't remember the last time I saw one of those in real life.

This thing is just beautiful.

In fact, I took a photo and sent it to the impresario himself

and he responded with, good car that.

It really, really, what a fabulous scramble.

What a fabulous scramble.

Oh, Clifford, what have you done?

I suspect you've not driven a car in the last week.

Well, I'm sort of very jealous and I don't do jealousy,

but I'm certainly jealous I wasn't at Bister,

because I think that's a great start to the year

that January's scramble.

Brushes all the crap off of Christmas.

And yeah, I'm immensely jealous I wasn't there.

I drove from Sydney to Melbourne.

That's about the most interesting thing I've done.

How far is that?

I'm at 600 nod miles because we took the coast road

and I rented initially the shittiest car I've ever driven for years.

And actually I love all cars.

I love shit cars particularly, but this one was like double shit.

It was called a Ford, we'll put a photo up,

something like a Ford premium or something.

Just really bloody awful.

What a gutless, I took a particularly,

I took a photo of the worst bit of the car.

Look at that gear knob.

It's literally out of like 1983, the worst of the 80s.

Really uncomfortable, bloody seat,

switch gear thrown at the design of the dash.

So anyway, I got so pissed off with this car,

which is very unlike me.

I went and changed it because I really didn't fancy

the 600 mile drive, wanted to enjoy it.

So I changed it and upgraded to a new Defender.

And you realize actually what bloody great cars they are.

I was so wrong about that car because I was a bit sort of thin

and a bit miserable about that car, particularly the rear design,

which actually I still don't really like.

But actually I've come to terms with the front.

I think the side profile is really good.

The dash, the seating, the quality of the whole thing,

fantastic bloody thing, diesel in white.

You very rarely see a white one.

I think I did take about, I'll post it.

You can get a white octa.

I was on that.

And then I'll move to the configurator.

And I thought, oh my, that would be really good.

You really want the octa in that Dakar sort of hearing aid bay, don't you?

Yeah, but that doesn't exist.

I'm sure you could sort of, well, you probably couldn't.

You ring them up and they say, absolutely so.

We can't do that.

But actually a white octa would be great.

It was joyful, pleasurable.

We took two days doing it, stopped off at the beach, just really, really good.

That's the only thing I have driven.

I've been in taxis mainly, but that was really good.

So looking forward to getting back to the UK immensely on Friday to jump in a car.

Yeah, that feeling of just getting back and getting into it.

Just going to pop it out.

That's the phrase, I'm going to pop out.

Because you've got no reason to go in here,

but you're just going to pop out so you can have a drive.

I'm going to go to M&S about 17 times this weekend.

Yeah.

Oh, just going to pop out.

We've got eggs, darling.

Oh, I think they may well be almost past their sell-by date.

I'm going to get some more eggs.

I'm just going to nip out and get some biscuits.

Nip out.

Shall I get the papers?

Slice, excuse me.

That journey you did, that 600 miles,

did you do that on your original odyssey around Australia when you were a littler?

I did.

Yeah, I was living in Melbourne.

I flew to Sydney, bought the Volkswagen Camper, drove back to Sydney,

and then from Sydney we drove to Cairns and we drove across the outback down to Alice Springs,

down to Adelaide for that Formula One race where Schumacher was a bastard,

and then went back up to Alice Springs and sold the Combi in Darwin.

Is that the first time you've done a big drive in Australia since then?

Yeah, the first time I've been there since then.

Embarrassing.

Wow.

How was that?

Was it lovely and nostalgic and...

Yeah, you realise what a fabulous country it is.

The only little downside, and I experienced it when I was there the first time,

is you do feel like you're living on the edge of a piece of paper.

You know, the wonderful thing about the UK is you're in the middle.

I know it's sort of bit stupid because the map can be anywhere on a map,

can't it, but the map that we use, we're in the middle, aren't we?

Which is really good, so you can look left and look right.

And we've got that special line, the time thing,

and there's something quite wonderful about being in the middle.

But apart from that, Australia's a wonderful place.

We stayed in Manley for a few days.

Actually, Melbourne, I put Melbourne ahead of Sydney.

I know people from Sydney were going to be like, you bastard.

They're both wonderful, actually.

They're both great.

I suppose I lived in Melbourne for seven months.

I've got an emotional attachment as does Emma.

We had a wonderful time returning to St Kilda.

It's a great country.

I don't do jealousy, but you know what?

It's really bloody good, Australia.

Yeah. We should go there.

And I know people, we have really, really lovely support for this podcast

from people in Australia and New Zealand and people always saying,

and I think you know, I've got a complete obsession

with Australian motorsport, particularly supercars,

and the Bathurst 1000 and all that.

It's just watching those things that surface paradise,

just leaping and the commentary.

It's just all wonderful.

I had a coffee with one of our guys that listens to,

called Adrian in Manly in Sydney.

And you know what?

There's a massive love of our podcast there, actually.

I think it's number three or number four as a country,

as listeners, isn't it?

There's a massive love of, even though it's all a bit sort of negative

on the driving and cars thing and speeding

and all that a little bit there.

But there's a big love of cars and there's a big love of,

I mean, you can just drive for hours and hours

and you know, the ratio of people to real estate

is quite a nice little ratio that's going on.

Yeah, the thing I know about,

I don't, it's a long, long time since I've been there,

but one of the things I always thought about Australians

is they're straightforward.

So that they name things like what they are,

like the snowy mountains or the Blue River.

Manly?

Why is that called Manly?

No idea.

Is it because it is, it's sort of,

I've just got the impression that somehow

you've got to sort of have your gun showing in anyway.

No, it isn't like that.

It's beautiful.

It's, I mean, literally, there's seven,

you can walk six or seven beaches around that sort of headland.

It's very, very difficult not to be utterly ambious

of the quality of the product.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Once the weather's good and it's summertime,

and you get on one of those ferries that takes you across

to another part of the bay, it's just ridiculously lovely.

And there's no, you know,

there's a Sydney-born character.

To live anywhere else must be a bit of a wretch

because it's absolutely stunning.

Yeah, it is.

Shall I talk about what,

can I say a few words about Mr. Scramble?

Because it really was, it was actually the very nice people,

Philip, Pip White, very kindly invited,

Manish, you and me and Chris and Neil,

and Neil, you were really, really missed.

And it was all very lovely.

I know we said it before, it is about the people.

And it's quite a broad church, isn't it really?

I've sort of said this before.

I'm quite shy really.

So I find it, I've met JK, he's been on here,

and he's a lovely champion, he's always been very funny.

But my instinctive nature is when I see him in a public place,

would not to go up to him and say hi,

because I just sort of, I'm just made to,

I just find that actually quite hard to do.

But I thought about him when we were there,

when is that spaceship of a phantom turned up?

How extraordinary and wonderful.

It looks even bigger than you think it should look.

In fact, I wonder whether or somehow,

it was a sort of a 1.25 scale.

It was absolutely, there is nothing about,

I was thinking about, can I think of somebody

who I know and I've met that's more different to me?

And it's hard to think of anybody,

but that's more different than the lovely JK and me.

He's a creative and artistic phenomenon,

and I'm a boring management consultant.

Yeah, so that's true.

He, that is true.

Yeah, don't contradict any of this, it's true.

We are all not.

He has extraordinary style and grace and ease,

and I'm an awkward shy management consultant.

Yes.

How is it therefore?

And this is why I think the community

and the people thing is really important,

is that, because I've noticed this the whole day I was there.

I love all the cars that he loves.

I love the fact, and he had his Aston Rapide AM,

it's been over social media, I'm not sort of breaking calm.

He had his Aston Martin Rapide there,

and it's got silver wheels.

It hasn't got silly black bits all over it,

sort of making it, it looks graceful.

I thought, I've never seen an AMR Rapide,

the racing version of the Rapide,

that looks remotely as good as that.

They had black wheels, I was with him when he bought it,

the first thing he did the next day was changing silver.

100%, I think, why has everyone done that?

It's just so graceful and lovely.

So, I think my week in cars was, it was,

cars literally are the vehicle, pun intended.

That just brings people together,

and people were very, very lovely,

and lots of things to see.

I've learned a lesson, and we talked about this before.

You have to get there, if you want to take photographs,

get there at 8 o'clock in the morning,

and run around and take all the photographs if you want,

because you'll never get a chance,

because you'll just stop and you'll talk to people,

and talk rubbish and stuff, and it's just lovely.

So, the TWR thing they had, they had 50 years of TWR.

Yeah, and that was, if Goodwood had done that,

it would have blown the internet.

And it was just, oh, there's some cars over here,

in one of the sheds.

It's 50 years of TWR, they're all there.

David Brabham was there, Ross Braun was there,

designer of the XJR14, that extraordinary thing

that was faster than F1 cars at the time in 1992,

or whatever it was, and it's also low-key,

and sort of, oh, yeah, they're all over there, yeah.

Oh, it's the shed behind that one, yeah.

Keep going, if you find the airfield, you've gone too far.

And sort of, I quite like that.

And, well, I really like it.

And I sort of, I almost don't want them to spoil it,

but I kind of almost want more people

to be able to see what you can see there.

It's just really, really wonderful.

So, yeah, well done, then.

It was really, oh, yeah, on TWR,

it made me realize they had some of the jaguar sport.

The cars, I think most people listeners will know this,

Alpina, who made their last actual car at the turn of the year,

combustion engine car before Alpina becomes,

whatever it's going to become, it's part of BMW.

Originally, in the UK, they were imported

and sort of prepared by TWR, Tom Wilkins for racing.

One of those classic, big, big characters

in most sport of the world, like Frank Sittner, Sittner, blah, blah.

And you can look on, find articles about this,

and I think Frank's written about it.

He's still around, bless him in South of France.

I think he's in South of France or somewhere in Italy.

And he spotted opportunities, sort of jumped in

and got the Alpina rights to the UK,

which originally were, there were kits of parts and stuff,

engine, suspension, body kit, blah, blah, blah.

And I'd sort of forgotten that what Tom Wilkins

would do next was to say, what can I do next?

And he'd sort of tried doing that with Jaguar.

And I kind of see them now as Alpina Jaguars.

Same idea. And some of them there just looked absolute,

the wheels, are they speedline wheels?

Those sort of flat-faced, very plain, the Jaguar Sport,

the Supercat thing that came out the last year,

has sort of got that vibe as well.

They just look lovely.

That's new Alpina.

If we're left with classic Alpina,

then the Jaguar Alpina, the TWR,

I think that's going to be a big thing this year.

My words.

Blimey, I think we've covered Bista.

I've understood a great job.

It was weird having Neil there.

I've spent lots of time going,

it's good this, but it's not the same without Neil.

So you were missed.

You were.

The level of sort of idle prattle was reduced

because we could just sort of...

You're a good moochie, you are.

You're a good person to mooch with.

So that was lovely.

I drove there in a Citroen AX GT that I bought the day before,

and I had a wonderful drive-up.

I left in the dark, choke on, get the thing started,

and then there's the very little dashboard lighting,

and it was all...

You feel quite exposed in a little car like that.

The one I've got, still wheels, no spoiler.

I think it is 700 kilograms on the nose for a hatchback.

It's very light.

Lovely.

I had a bit of a roundabout moment

when I had my earphones in,

and I sort of backed off at the wrong moment,

and it was quite dramatic.

But all was gathered up.

Lots of friendly faces.

It was great to see Lola there.

It's interesting that our good friend and Marino Frankiti

decided to take it upon himself

to become the chief styling officer for Lola,

and was upset, but just kept in neat spaces,

neat spaces at the rear.

And I think it was really interesting

where Lola was to add a bit of hit.

Darra from everything, and turned up in my Z3M Roadster,

which has had its hips done,

and I have to say looked fabulous,

so I was very pleased with that.

No, just great events.

I have to say, they're the best car events I go to.

I don't really...

I find these things a struggle normally,

but I mooch around, and it is just...

There's always, around every corner,

there'll be something that makes you go,

oh, look at that.

And I think the people that run the place

and curate the cars are so in tune

with what we all like seeing.

Extraordinary.

A couple of times, I went, oh, what's that?

And it was one of the people that exhibited

that turned up in that car as their car.

It wasn't meant to be on display,

but even the cars that turn up

to help the displays are interesting to look at.

Yeah, especially the best.

So I thought it was lovely.

And there's something about getting up on a Sunday very early,

doing something, and getting back to your base

by about midday one o'clock.

You feel you've stolen half a day away from the week, haven't you?

It's quite a nice feeling.

So there you go.

That was...

I agree about this, fabulous.

Great way to start the emotional year.

Can I just ask, did you both see that beautiful fasal vega?

Yes.

It was in the past.

I didn't.

Oh, my days.

I just had a moment.

I mean, I really did.

Older gentleman came with his wife,

has owned it for a while.

This thing had been restored

by the person who had it before.

And there was somebody who had a soft turbo

that they'd spent £45,000 restoring, including the interior.

And that, for me, sums up what this does about.

Just absolutely not as easy.

Just value their cars at a level

that's got nothing to do with money.

You just have a vision.

You have this idea, this warm feeling,

as to what your car should be.

Then you go and either buy that car or execute it.

Loved it.

Absolutely loved it.

Now, the next topic, I think,

two of us think we've covered, and two of us think we haven't.

Because we've got a combined age of about 720,

I can't really vouch for any of our memories.

But I'm with Manage on this one,

in that I think we've covered driving in ice and snow tips.

So what's going to happen is,

two of us are going to do ice and snow,

and the others who are probably going to do rain

and general inclement British weather.

How's that?

We'll start with Neil,

who I think is in the ice and snow camp.

Well, we have done it before, just for clarity.

It's not as if Manage has got the only memory here.

But it was what's called BCC.

It was before the changeover.

So actually, this faced just to be clear.

So we have done it.

But in the second phase of this podcast,

we are doing it again.

And I haven't got anything to add.

Because actually, what are we talking about?

Driving in snow and ice.

Yes, I think it re-ad.

Yeah, it re-ad.

Let's just have a look out the window to see whether the...

Yeah, hasn't snowed yet.

No, not for a while.

No, we all agreed we would do this subject

when we were chatting away a week or two ago,

because there were four classes to be snow and ice in the UK.

So that was why it was on the agenda.

But I really have no idea how to drive in fucking ice and snow.

Basically, you go a bit slower, don't you?

And you leave space in front of you more than normal.

Is that what you do?

And maybe people that can't drive properly

change their fucking tires or some other bollocks.

I think you're absolutely right.

I think, first of all, however many times we gave this advice

or whatever we thought we were imparting or skills we might have,

they're pretty useless.

Because this country has decided for a long time

not to prepare the roads for that kind of weather.

So from the start, you're banjaxed.

And if you go to any other country that expects snowfall,

then they'll have a strategy.

They'll have snowplows and the roads will be designed

to deal with it.

This country doesn't.

It's a deliberate decision.

I think it's quite a wise one.

The amount of snow we actually get versus the cost

of having all that machinery lying around most of the year

being unused is ridiculous.

And if we have a couple of days when people get snowed in

and what have you, then so be it.

It's quite good fun.

Kids are off school to boggling, et cetera.

So I think it's a wise thing.

But it does mean that fundamentally when it snows,

I tend not to drive.

Unless I really have to.

Because I know that that journey,

there'll be someone that has no idea what they're doing,

has got in a right old pickle, and there's nothing I can do.

I don't really blame them either.

No one's been taught how to drive in these conditions.

The cars aren't equipped with the studs

and the things that you need to drive.

So my advice tends to be, don't drive unless you really have to.

And if you do have to, just be absolutely aware

of the fact you just need to apply common sense.

So just massive distances before and away from you.

And don't be a Wally.

And also, if you find a big open car park,

go and have a skid.

Because that's what we all did as kids.

I think, sorry, one of my children just messaging me there.

I think, yeah.

Has it been snowing?

We did have some, not in the last week.

But it really is, I collected that AX on Saturday

and it was up sort of towards the brilliantly named

droid twitch.

And there was some residual slushy snowy bits on an A road.

And I did come around and call in that AX and go,

didn't expect that.

And it is a bit terrifying, but I just don't think,

there's no point in actually educating people

to deal with something that hardly ever happens.

It happens so infrequently that if you did educate people,

by the time it did come around,

they've bloody forgotten what you told them.

So just, I just say, take it steady.

Have a day off.

Go and walk.

Take the train.

Do something else.

Just don't drive.

That sounds terrible.

Do we think, I was thinking out the box there,

the reason why it looks as though Scottish people

are better at racing cars,

is that because they are more used to driving in shitty weather?

Or is it just that I know a disproportionate amount

of Scottish people that are really good at driving?

I think there's all of the above.

I think, look at the Scandinavian countries.

If you're, if you're from the,

if when you start driving, if you live in Swindon,

you become an expert in roundabouts

and traffic jams, probably, don't you?

But if you've bought up somewhere where there's

either snow on the ground or mud,

or you've got to drive down a dirt track to get somewhere,

that's the reason you're going to have some car control,

aren't you?

Because you're going to explore what the car's doing.

Yeah, Jim Clark famously, sorry, let's go.

No, it's fine.

Mr Cooper, so actually, I'm also,

we often give advice,

which I think it sounds a bit pious

about what we think people should do in certain situations,

but I'm not qualified to tell you what to do in snow, all right?

So I've done a few snow rallies,

but that's all very well when you've got a roll cage,

harnesses, a hand's device, and studded tires,

and a closed, you know, loop.

It's not that challenging, is it?

So I think, yeah, I'm not qualified to.

I just, I reckon it's easy,

they are easily the most treacherous conditions, easily,

and stuff happens at a speed that you can't believe.

So the incident is upon you faster than you realize,

but the incident then goes on for much longer

than you'd ever have counted it.

And that's the thing about the slushy, icy one,

is it's you're like, oh my Lord, this is still happening.

I could write this accident down and have it written

and posted to the editor.

I don't know why this is it, yeah.

So, yeah, I'd leave it alone.

What do you reckon, Mr Cooper?

So I quite like this topic,

because I know we have done it before.

It's not that we've got crap memories,

we just thought it'd be interesting to talk about it,

because there had been actually a bit of snow in the UK.

We're recording this on, is it Wednesday today?

I've lost complete track of time.

So up until the end of last week, it was quite snowy.

And it just reminded me of the fun we all had

when we were learning to drive.

Maybe the roads were less busy,

and tyres were more rubbery,

so they worked better in the snow.

When we're growing up, tyres lasted 10,000 miles.

Now they last 30,000 miles.

That is not an accident.

So I haven't got rubber in them anymore.

At least, mine likes 100,000 miles.

Yeah, well, I'm amazed that you've ever seen

the inside of a tyre shop, Neil.

We always tease you about this.

Are you just being contrarian near with this?

Or do you genuinely not think

you've ever had an experience, a lived experience,

with winter or cold weather tyres technically?

You thought, oh, that's a little bit different.

I got up that hill.

I didn't think I was going to do that.

Is that me?

Is that all a mystery?

You think it's all a mystery?

I'll tell you the one little thing

that I have had a scary moment in,

driving a 996 GT3 Mark I,

the cool one, through, that was for Mr. Harris, that was,

through torrential rain in Switzerland.

I literally definitely had brown underpants after that.

That was, that was, I was literally going at like

14 miles per hour on the motorway,

because the car was just like on ice.

But apart from that, I think it is all a bit bollocks.

Do you, because you sort of hinted at that earlier,

when talking about going to Australia,

it feels like you're going to go off the edge of the piece of paper.

Do you think the world is flat?

Is that, is that part of the problem you've got?

No, no, no, it's, it's just a feeling you have

when you're in Australia.

It's a different, you feel distant from things.

It is a bit of a, and I live there every year.

Emma and I were, Emma and I were discussing,

actually, we love this place so much,

so we just never go back.

This is quite a cool place to live.

But it's not, it's the time zone thing.

Maybe, you know, you've got to get up at 3 o'clock in the morning

to watch a football or something.

But you do, you do feel like you're on the,

on the periphery of the world.

You don't think, so you've got no problem

with Neil Armstrong having got to the moon

and all those kind of things.

You're not like...

No, no, no, I'm definitely not a believer in all that, Malak.

Right, okay.

I think as the arbiter of comedy,

you've failed to land that one there, Mr Cooper.

But you can keep going if you want.

You know, I don't know when to stop.

The internet clearly thinks that it knows when I should stop.

I just think it's fun.

And because it was snowy,

the internet and social media was full of fantastic stuff in snow.

Fear panda four by fours was jacked up suspension,

you know, doing that sort of, you know,

but off the power, it goes right back on the power,

off the power, all that kind of stuff.

It's just, I'm not, you know,

we're not testing people going to break the law

and be anti-social and silly and let alone do anything bad.

But it can be just fun.

Just being out in the snow.

Don't be a dick.

Don't end up closing the road or ending in a ditch.

All the things that we've done,

we've all ended up, we're now youth,

upside down in the ditch in the snow.

Because we thought it's that childlike

wonderment of, I remember when we were growing up,

and I, when we'd learned to drive,

the thing you look forward to more than anything was

that fresh snow on the road outside.

You could go out for half an hour

and just dick around and do skids at two miles an hour.

It was just, it was like, it's Christmas in a car.

That's what it is. Christmas in a car.

I don't get that.

I don't get that motivation of pleasure, too.

As I suppose it's a talent thing.

I'm, I'm, I'm not.

When I was 17, I can tell you there was no talent involved.

I think my talent is even below my view of my talent.

That's how, that's how low-risk I am when it comes to things like that.

I just wouldn't risk it because I just,

I would feel such a dick if I went round and round about

and broke the car off and got a lamp up.

Likewise.

I think it's an important point, actually.

I came across as a bit of a salvus,

because of course I, I love, I loved cocking about in the snow,

but maybe it's just the way the society's changed.

You know, back in the early nineties,

when I learned to drive and where I lived,

in, in my little red mini, when it snowed and I went for a cock about

and I ended up half in a ditch,

the people that dragged me out did it with a massive grin on their faces

and thought it was all funny.

I don't think the same age person today would receive

quite such friendly lack of judgment.

I think it would be a problem.

You'd probably get reported or let someone put a video up and say,

what a novel.

Yes, cameras is the issue really.

I think, you know, maybe it's that awful thing,

those of us that have children that have started driving,

what you just don't want to get into the position

where you crap on about how great it was in the old days for us,

but it really was.

And I don't think you can do that quite the same way anymore.

What about with your tyres?

Not with that, but also if you, if you have a mini with a handbrake and

38 horsepower, it's one thing.

But if you've got a golf mark seven that's got an electronic handbrake

and ESP that you can't turn on,

I mean, actually you're in a position where

all you're going to do is understeer into a bush.

Did you take Lola out in the snow?

No, I didn't take Lola out in the snow.

I'm afraid.

And I wouldn't take Lola out in the snow.

Do you remember before I bought Lola,

I think one of you sent me an Instagram post.

He was a guy with a gun metal Ferrari 456 driving

just on a normal slightly wet motorway.

And I think he turned his traction assist off.

And he just pirouettes, does a perfect 360.

And you just think it's going to hit loads of things and it doesn't.

That's my, my living fear with Lola actually is

if I was driving her in the wet,

somehow that little thing failing as I,

as I jink to overtake someone and just literally losing the back end

and at best pirouetting.

Because all of those,

in fact, all of those videos you sent me,

the guy with the F40,

it all seems to happen to people in a straight line,

as far as I can see.

They just gum the throttle a little bit.

The back twitch is the next thing they do.

It's overcompensate and they're in a ditch,

you know, with a one and a half million quid car.

No, I didn't.

What I did do yesterday was I took Darcy back up to university.

And yesterday, Neil, the rain was torrential.

I mean, it was unbelievable.

If I did not have to take him back,

I would not have driven.

And I did that in the Audi.

And I have to say,

I've never been more grateful for 138 horsepower,

very heavy, front wheel drive, dull car.

Because it was, there was one particular,

by the way, apparently I use the word penis a lot

when I'm driving.

It just comes out of my mouth when I see stupid behavior.

It's not the word, you're all...

Oh, sorry.

No, the word.

And there was a car.

We can see what you've reduced this entire podcast down to, haven't we?

Do you want to say both words together?

No, I don't.

I'm so embarrassed.

You know, you wouldn't do it.

So there was a guy in a teal tecan yesterday

who just decided that he wanted to be in lane one

as much as possible.

And he didn't really want to indicate.

And what he was really enjoying doing yesterday

was just basically picking his way through traffic

by getting into lane one,

accelerating up to the inevitable lorry

in front of him in the deluge,

then sweeping into two,

then sweeping into three,

and doing that forwards and backwards.

I just think driving like that.

I mean, I thought we loved cars,

thought we loved each other.

And when you drive in a way

that basically distracts your fellow motorists,

where you're undertaking half of the time,

you're overtaking half the time,

in torrential rain, it is a really, really...

Yeah, we are the undertaking weaving people,

are the worst people, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah, we would never, ever do that.

Listen, I think if you're following strict lane discipline,

you may find yourself undertaking,

but it will probably be at a relative velocity

of two miles an hour or something,

and the lanes will quickly readjust.

I mean, it's a completely different thing

to throw up roosters.

I felt like the sort of pound shop center at Estorill in 1985,

I was just holding on in my lane.

You know, I didn't lose traction once.

I was very, very happy to come out the other end.

Did he just make that comparison of what I imagined there?

No, he really did do that.

I did make it.

I did say pound shop, though.

I did say...

That's a t-shirt, by the way.

So I want a picture of...

It is.

I want a picture of Senator's helmet in an Audi...

In a one owner from new Audi A4 of M.

I'm a pound shop center.

I'm a pound shop owner.

With an air conditioned glove box, don't forget that.

I love my book of helmets.

Yeah, exactly.

I've got one...

Yeah, I've got one...

I might have said this before, but I love the story about the snow

when I was a kid and my...

I have an elder brother who's quite a bit older than me.

And he had a Renault 5 and it was 81 or 82.

There were those winters that were really severe in the Southwest.

There were high winds that created these lovely drifts.

I remember the shapes of the drifts over the hedges.

It was...

God, it looked so exotic.

And we had our own winter wonderland.

It's like, oh, we're going to go up the lane.

We lived in a village.

We went up the lane and he tried to demonstrate a handbrake turn.

And he just sort of turned right into a hedge.

And he just sat there and he was winterised.

His auntie was probably wearing a blazer and slacks knowing my brother.

And then the farmer was sort of summoned.

Can you get us out, please?

He was lovely about it.

Then it wasn't until a couple of years ago that I took the time to

investigate the cause of this accident.

Of course, the handbrake was on the front wheels, the poor bastard.

So he just...

He yanked...

Quite a lot of French hatchbacks had handbrakes on the front wheels.

So he's pulled the handbrake on and we've just driven off the road.

If you've been watching it, it looked like he was just trying to evade the police or something.

Yeah, so be careful.

I've probably told that before, but front wheel handbrakes do exist.

Always check your bra...

Always check your crowd pleaser to work out where it operates,

the back ones or the front ones.

That's reminded me of...

Sorry, go on, Miss Clifford.

Do farmers, you being a farmer or a part-time farmer,

do farmers get paid to put the salt down and look after the roads in the snow in winter?

They can be paid to clear the snow.

They tend not to have supplies of salt.

Although lots of farm workers, so Jack who works on our farm,

one of the things he does is he's got a deal with one of the contractors that do gritting.

That would go out and do gritting in the middle of the night on the motorways, blah, blah, blah.

But it's always been the thing that either a local authority will have a deal or a contract

with a farmer to say, look, if it snows, can you just get your tractor out with a brush

or a snow plow and clear your lane or your bit of the road?

Generally, though, farmers would do that anyway, even if they're not paid,

just because it's just community spirited and all those kind of things.

Jim Clark, obviously, famously, was a farmer in the Scottish borders,

and I've no doubt that that was part of his...

Maybe that just because his talent was so God-given.

The fact that he could express himself in something with an engine and it's so young

meant that that's where he went.

The most fun, the most satisfying, I just thought that we were talking about

handbrakes on front-wheel drive cars, the most satisfying event I ever had in the snow,

which was probably about eight, nine years ago, and it did you snow a bit more perhaps,

in our lane, bottom of our lane, sort of like a one-track lane.

Somebody in an Astra coupe, a chap out with a young lady for the evening, I seem to recall,

had got himself sideways across the lane, so it was so tight, he couldn't do a 90-point turn,

he was literally stuck. I was coming up the lane, so I couldn't pick a person,

I forgot that, and he looked really, really crestfallen, that the young lady in the passenger

seat was no longer admiring any aspect of it, other than it's really embarrassing,

we block the road and you don't know what to do.

So I said, just jump out, I said, I've got an idea, I said, when you get back in,

put the handbrake on really, really tight, and then just gently let the clutch in in first gear,

and then the car will pivot down the full line of the hill, and it won't go forward,

it won't, you won't go into that nice man's hedge or fence, the car will pivot round,

when he gets to putting down off the power and gently roll down the hill,

you'll be a hero to your girlfriend. And we did this, it absolutely worked, it worked brilliantly,

and this chap, I said, and I said to him, next time you see someone like that, spread the good word

about, you know, don't give it gas, just a little bit, and the front wheels will break traction,

and the full line will push them down the hill. Mind you, it probably wouldn't have worked with

no tyres, it's just constricted a bloke's fence. There you go, you see? Yeah. We're a fond of good

tips. We are, even by our standards, we're moving at a glacial pace today, it's very, very impressive.

So do we go, we'll do, we'll do this one, why V8s are just the coolest, buy one for 10K? Yes.

Okay, so Neil Clifford like this, I'm sure he posed this one.

I was just thinking about what, what an amazing engine the VA is actually, you know,

the noise, the reliability, I don't think I've ever broken down. I don't think a VA has ever gone

wrong on me. Never. I've had all sorts of, yeah, I've had all sorts of dramas, bloody flat 911

engines and four cylinder Lotus piece of shit, and all sorts of engine, does a VA ever go wrong?

Very, very rarely. And you think about what you can buy with a VA engine. There's so many bargains,

of course, we refer to everyone to car and classics. And I, I've got a big list, but I'm

only going to talk about one. I've gone, it's really easy to go Mercedes, because, you know,

frankly, they do a great V8. I'd love a, I've been looking for a C63 estate.

Yes. Our friend Jay has got two of the bloody things, a white one and a black one,

because he thinks they're like better than Bitcoin for the future. But, but the C63,

which is the real C63, you know, before they put whatever turbos on it, or they made it for me,

the proper one. But for eight grand, and now I can't find the picture, I will find the picture,

for eight grand, you can get one of those new shape, which obviously isn't the new, new, new shape,

because they've actually closed the company down, Jaguar XK. So not this sort of classically beautiful

Jag, which of course, Mr Harris has got a Daimler version, they're easy picking those fantastic

things. But that whatever it is, the new XK, the long one, the extra part, yeah, part outside

diplomatic places in London, eight grand, one of those or 10 grand, there's one in the auction,

I'll put it up. So I think, I think it's, they're just bargain engines, bargain cars, and probably

one of the most reliable mechanical things ever, a V8, and the noise. The noise. I read a really

interesting article, I don't know which magazine it was in, that explained why America landed on

the V8 as the format of choice. And it was all about the how the, they started off with four

cylinders and a flat A, sorry, then the inline eight, and the fact that crank would then bend.

And it was all about reliability really, and efficiency of power. And so, but there's a

reason why that format became the dominant engine form of the country that made the most

motor cars on the planet. And there's something about it that is just instinctively right. It

sounds right. It even looks right. It's just, it is, there's no doubt it might not have the

the sexiness of a 12 cylinder engine, but it's, there's something about them. And also, you just

know, don't you? And actually, the only thing I don't like, predominantly, is the flat plane ones

that don't sound like V8s. They're the only one that I can live with, obviously, is DFB, but the

DFB is just another story altogether of brilliance. Yes. I don't, you know, when Ford made that GT350

about 10 years ago, which had the flat plane V8 in it, also American customers and journalists

loved it because it's it had a sort of European exoticism to it. It was like a Ferrari engine.

But I didn't want that. I think, I think they should all sound like muscle cars and they should

have that sort of pulsing, Mopar feel, which like, you know, when you get that sort of cam slap and

all that business, I just think that absolutely wonderful. You go to go to, you know, short over

and listen to the NASCAR's racing is done when they when it starts to echo off the walls.

Go actually, do you know what? After this, go and watch the opening a few minutes of days of

thunder and the way it's shot and the sound, the sound recording of the opening a few minutes

is exceptional. The film, yeah, obviously, leave it, but that noise when it's absolutely on the

cam and rev and just zinging up against the wall, put on your big surround sound speakers and tell

me that the V8 isn't one of the greatest human inventions ever. There's so many bargains out

there. Even, you know, even for me, that I would, I would even go down that 4.2 Audi A6

routes, the all that mega, you can get a five grand V8. So I mean, it's amazing what you can get.

That A6, that was the early 2000s. Yes, an A6 with like, you know, well, before the all road,

there was. Yes, there was an A6 4.2, 4.2, 4.8. It just looks so, you go anywhere, you know,

yeah, just very subtle wide arches. One thing we should do, we should be a topic for the next

couple of weeks is the fallacy of buying an economical car for most people that don't do

many miles. It's what I call speedboat economy. So I remember when I was trying to buy a shit

speedboat a few years ago, someone said to me, well, you've got to get the, like the little

four cylinder one because, you know, it'll use so much less fuel than the V8. They're just ruinous.

You use a speedboat three times a year. It doesn't make any difference if you're me.

If it uses a bit more fuel, you might as well have the V8 one because you never, you know,

you never use the bloody thing really. I mean, Mr. Cooper is different. He's done a lot,

but V8s are like that as well. When I see people that have bought the

C350 or the, I just think, if you like cars, just buy the bloody 63 AMG. They're all,

they're all the same money really now. You might have a slightly bigger bill, but I just,

and also the end is coming at some point. Now is the time to do it. You know, now is the time to do

it. The end is nigh. Yeah. I do need to trip in my V8 speedboat. Yes, please. Yeah, yeah, we do. We do

need that. So I haven't chosen a car because we've got two car garages coming up, but I get the

sentiment. Managed V8. So the question was why V8s are just the coolest. And I didn't think

they were just the coolest. I don't think they're just the coolest. How are they just the coolest?

They're great. And I think actually you hit the nail on the head as to why they're not the coolest,

because America adopted them for everything, from muscle cars to cars that drove families around

in these odd panel station wagons. I actually think, I think either an inline six, and I just

refer you to all the jaggers that were made, a V6 Dino, which just powered one of the prettiest cars

in the world as a mid-engine car, or a V12. They are cool. They are cool as hell, those cars.

V8 muscle car might be many things. I'm not quite sure I'd describe it as cool, but you're just

like, I've never found them cool. I've always found them kind of quite masculine and quite

braggadocio, but they're not. They're not cool. Who looks cool in a V8 muscle car? Do you think

any of you look cool? Really? Yeah. Let's face it, Steve, if we look at the iconography of film

and cool people, Steve McQueen in a charger is about the coolest thing ever. 50-something years ago,

perhaps. Yeah, 50-something years ago. I mean, I was thinking about now, but I was just going to go.

Sorry, you're right. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I just, I don't know. I mean, I think with Ferrari,

I was having a look to see when they first used a V8, and it was actually for a car that I do like,

the 308 GT4. So it's a 2 plus 2. You know, a lot of people are pretty divided about that,

and then we get into kind of the Magna Mera, the 308, the 328, Mondiales. I'm not sure that, I mean,

I love the 308 GT4. I think it's a beautiful car. Again, I'm not sure I would describe that as cool.

I'm not sure that it is cool. I definitely don't think it's a Mondial. Has the RT aura.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, you found a cool V8.

Have you chosen one, really? I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Presumably you haven't chosen one then.

Well, no, I mean, and then Neil's second part was, you know, buy one for 10K. So, you know, yeah,

XKR. I mean, I could buy one for 10K, but I don't know if a V8 is inherently cool. I don't, I don't

think it is. Can I, can I tell you how I see this? Yes, please. If in a month's time, we have a little

conversation about why V12 is just the coolest engine. Yes. Will all be, you know,

tingling with excitement. Or the 3179. I don't think it is. And then we'll do, you know, maybe

towards the spring. Why straight six is the coolest? And will all be tingling with excitement?

The answer is, they're all cool. They're all cool. Of course. Can I talk about one other

thing? Formula one, I think, is another kind of brilliant example that I completely agree with

you, Chris. The DFV and all its iterations afterwards, the Y and all the rest of it,

they, it was a masterpiece. And people often describe that as, as an, a grandmaster in the

world of the modern art of turbo engines and all the rest of it. But my God, a Ferrari V12

Formula One car, you know, before they all switched their V10s and then down to V8s. I know

they were very high revving. The sound of a Ferrari V12 Formula One engine, that is cool.

There is no V8. There is no turbo. I mean, not even Senna's beautiful Renault turbo,

sounded as good as somebody like Jean Elesi in 1995, driving that car very, very, very crazily.

That is cool, I think. Hard to agree with it. But I, and I agree with Mr. Cooper,

we can make an argument for a Singleton and a motorcycle being cool because we just love engines.

And I think with the recating crank or, you know, piston, I get it. But I, but there's something

about the V8. Do you know what? It even sounds right. It does. Eight. It just, I think intrinsically

is the coolest format. I don't agree with Mr. Cooper. Mr. Cooper, what do you think? So the V8s

are just the coolest. They just, they just so are. Because when we were growing up,

when you heard of V8, and you know, if you grew up in the UK in the 70s and 80s, a V8 would probably

be in a Rover or a Range, or even a Land Rover. You had that Buick V8, that crossplane

V8 engine, give that classic V8 verbal, and then TVR started becoming popular and they were all

full of V8s. It was, it was performance for the people. We sort of knew there was a V12,

because he'd read about them. Yeah. But you didn't really, it was unobtainable.

There were only the V12 you came across in the XJS, or if someone had a double six or whatever.

That's true. That's a good point. That is a very good point that those sort of, and he went to the

Motor Show, and that I think double six is one of the coolest, I know we've done cool car names,

we can do it again. Double six is one of the coolest car names ever. I'm brooking no discussion

about that. So I think they really are. It's not called a double eight, is it? I mean, that's what I,

it's just not called a double eight, is it? Or a double four, is that it? And I think there's,

that the flat plane cranks. So flat plane cranks, Ferrari V8s generally speaking of flat plane

McLaren V8s in the modern era are definitely flat plane cranks. Ferrari want flat plane cranks,

do sound better. I mean, like all these things, everything's a trade-off in engineering.

The crankshaft is lighter in a flat plane crank engine. Sounds like two straight fours.

So they can rev higher and do sort of clever, racy things. But you have to say, it's that,

I'm with Mr. H on this. Watch Days of Thunder, or go onto YouTube and find anything, is it

Transam, those extraordinary American race cars with these Roush V8s revving to 9 and a half thousand

RPM. They just sound, it's just the coolest. The end. I've chosen one of these.

Manish isn't going to buy an R107 500 SL then, obviously.

I've been looking at the three, I've been looking at the 300 now, you know, not to save petrol,

by the way. If you get a manual one, they're great. They're rare, but they're great.

So I went on to car and classic and I found an E38 BMW with that 750 engine.

Eight and a half. I mean, it's just clear, I mean, it's beautiful.

It's better than 50 with the V12, wasn't it?

E38 750, V8. That was a V8, yeah.

Why, my children are very actively trying to contact me today, sorry about this.

Next week, we will do the V10. Yeah, yeah. That would be a narrow discussion.

Easily the coolest engine ever made. So, right, why 600 diesel miles range

on a tank is a heavenly feeling when you see it on the readout in your car?

Yes. I'll start with that one because I've got my little diesel Alpina, which I think is

developing into something of a love affair for me because lots of cars are coming and going and,

you know, test cars and sold a few things and bought a few less valuable things that I find

more intriguing. But this little Alpina sits there and every time I get in it, I absolutely

adore driving it. In the news yesterday, I think front page was the demise, the impending demise

of diesel. People saying that in London, I think within five years, there might not be diesel at

pumps. They'll be electric charging stations instead. And I get it. I could see why that's

happening. But at a time when the country's slightly on its knees financially and people

need to get about the place in a cost-effective way, the diesel really deserves to be at the

forefront of transportation because it's an incredibly efficient way of travelling. And

when it's particularly if you do loping miles on motorways, there's no petrol car can compare

with it. It's just you have to give so little effort to sustain momentum that you don't really

rev the engine. It loaps along at a lower RPM. And when you get in it, my car doesn't have a 60-litre

tank. I know that. It's a bit less than 60 litres, I think. There's the three series tank in that

Alpina. And you get over 600 miles listed on the thing when you when you fill it up. And it's

remarkable. I have to say, I've always been a bit sniffy about diesel motoring in the UK. But

more often than not, when I go outside or go to my shed, I take that car. I think it's just

wonderful. But the idea of getting an M3 at the moment, which is much more exciting to drive,

but you're lucky if you can get to London and back from my house, which is 250 miles.

Yes. And if you don't like service stations, we've all agreed we don't like them much. I completely

agree. But quite what quite regular now in the world of the hybrid is the 1000 mile range,

which is worth discussing. A lot of hybrids now are a bit cheeky when they're fully charged and

you've got their end and you've just been pootling around on the engine to to pre we do that. Don't

be surprised. We prepare our cars to try and get the biggest numbers. So you drive light,

you're driving Miss Daisy for the 10 miles before you get to the station to see whether you

can trick it into giving you the biggest number possible. But I think you can get 1000 regularly

on modern hybrids. Where do you stand on this, Mr Clifford? Well, I experienced this with that

Defender. When I filled it up in, no, when I got in it at Hertz at Sydney Airport, and I looked on

the dash and I think I saw 618 miles. I thought, what a fucking amazing feeling that is. I don't

really know what I think it's just it's not about not having to stop at a service station.

It's a deeper feeling than that for me. It's a feeling of freedom, excitement of the journey,

travel, movement. No one can, no one's going to catch me. I don't know what it is. It's quite a

deep feeling for me of, I can just, you know, I can just drive for hours. And I can just be on my,

I wasn't on my own. I was with my son and wife. But I don't, it's a very, very deep feeling that you

can see the distance and the journey you can travel without having to stop. I think I have seen

a thousand kilometers. I haven't seen, I haven't seen a thousand miles on a dash, but the more

miles the better. This is, this is a liquid that is, you know, it's cheaper than bottled water.

It's just a genius thing, isn't it? Absolutely fill it up and off you go again. It's bloody, well,

whoever thought of it? Did you refuel on that trip at all?

Yeah, I did. You know, we must talk about higher cars one day and the sort of the pros and cons of

bloody higher cars. That dread of, is there going to be a queue? Is there going to be a queue? Am I

going to be stuck at Hertz for sitting in the airport for three hours? And these companies

is probably quite a complicated bloody thing to operate. But we, I was waiting an hour or so at

Hertz and you're frustrated and you wish the car was ready and there's a big queue and all of that

shit. But then they say, would you like it? Would you like to pay for it to be full when you get

there or half full? And there's all those questions and you just want to get away. Is quit a fucking

yes, yes, yes. Just give me the keys. I want to go. So, but then you're like, oh, what have I got

to fill it up? Am I going to get fined if I don't fill it up? You know, when I get to Melbourne,

because I dropped it off at Melbourne. So I did fill it up. I think it was a quarter of a tank

left on the car when I, or no, there wasn't. No, it wasn't 600 miles. No, I did fill it up.

When you filled it up, what was the range? When you filled it up, what was the range show?

What, when it was full? Yeah, when you filled it.

Same, 600 and something. Well, it would have been different. Are you accusing me of filling it up

correctly? No, no, no, no, quite the opposite. Because that's the last thing I've worked

about your case, whether did you drive it in a Christian fashion and therefore the range went up?

No, I was. The car was amazing. I loved it. It's a bit gutless going up those, because we went

we went along the coast and you go through all these. I mean, Australia basically is a national park

with a few people in it. I mean, there's not many people and where the where the people are,

it's beautiful. But some of the hills were quite steep. And I was like, oh, I wish I, because we've

got a P400E or whatever that is, I don't know what it is, petrol hybrid. When it's got the charge,

it's quite gutsy, it's quite fast, but you only got 25 miles that runs out and about,

actually, it's quite a shit hybrid, to be honest, because by the time you've driven an hour, the

electricity is gone. In that save thing, because in case you need the elect, it's all too bloody

complicated for me. But I think it's the big range when you fill up a car, it's just a wonderful

feeling of immense excitement more than anything for me. Yeah, I think the word for me is limitless.

I love the idea that you've got this, you've got your hermetically sealed cocoon on four wheels,

and if you chose to strike out into places unknown, you could do it because you've got

range on your side. I like it. And actually, the flip side to that is I remember on Top Gear once,

we had to buy a shit old electric car, and we bought, I think it was Paddy had a Nissan Leaf,

and it was about 10 years old, and it was shit and old, and we played nothing, but it had a range

fully charged of 31 miles. And the crazy thing was that, to all intents and purposes, it looked

like a car, like a perfectly good modern car, but it was totally unusable, it couldn't do anything

that a car should do, and it's obviously range was what it had no way of doing anything. It was

a chocolate fire guard. I agree with word for word what you both said, and I'm going to add a word,

because the word for me is opportunity. It's the opportunity and the promise and possibility

of that opportunity of I can do anything. And it's a really weird one, isn't it? Because

filling a car actually doesn't take that long. If you know a journey on, you know where the

petrol stations are that aren't too far from the road, if you're on a motorway or whatever,

I know the petrol station want to go to, and I know it'll be quick. So it's no bother really

stopping, but the psychological warmth of feeling of, but I don't have to stop, I can just keep going.

And there is something about the 600, isn't there? It's that I could go all the way to Scotland,

I could go quite a long way to Scotland. Your memory runs away with plans.

And you see that, you think, where can I go? I could go there right now.

600 miles is an important number if you live in the British Isles, because from an early age,

you know it sort of is the length of the country is 600 miles. What you're saying is,

you could drive the whole of your country. And I think these weird, if you'll find numbers

impossible, I find sort of security and weird stats like that. That means I can drive from

Manzetta to Johnna Grose. Manish, you drive a vehicle that has one of the biggest fuel tanks

that's really been fitted to a car. I think Lola's probably got 100-litre tank in it.

110, yeah. Unfortunately, she's not a diesel. So if I wanted to be really pedantic, I couldn't

answer this in a Lola. If you put 110 litres of diesel into her, you need to call the AA, I reckon.

Yeah.

But actually, my Audi's got a 70-litre fuel tank. And I think that's just under 16 gallons.

And it will, driving carefully, do about 35. So it will do that magic,

600. And I think it's a bit like having a full fridge at Christmas. That's what it is, isn't it?

Yeah. Christmas is coming. That's a very good analogy.

Shops are going to be closed. You're really worried about people coming around.

Will you be able to cook everything you want? Just fill your fridge.

A glove box full of Snickers.

It's all of this stuff, isn't it?

So you're sort of prepared for the apocalypse, aren't you?

Absolutely.

You're in there. You've got your warm gloves. You've got your snacks just in case.

You've got a little bit of Tupperware with some Marmite sandwiches just in case.

You're ready. Range is about being ready to go to pop out to M&S and get some eggs.

And the papers. But it is true, and I think that 600 is absolutely the parameter, isn't it?

It is from Scotland to the most tip or almost the most tip of Britain.

If you know you can span your country on a tank of petrol,

that is like being in a chieftain tank, isn't it? The sense of security is absolutely massive.

Well, oddly, Lola, I mean, I think I've been trying to work out what I'm getting,

because every time I go and pick her up, it feels like she's got no fuel.

So I live in the Shell station in near Penthamville Prison. I mean, I live there.

Well, I think I'm getting about 14 miles to the gallon from her on a motorway.

Yeah, and maybe a little bit less. Maybe a little bit less.

You know, if you actually have to navigate the roads of London.

So that's that wonderful 110 litre fuel tank is I reckon I get about I'm mixing my units here,

but I think she gets gives you about 250 to 270 miles on a full tank.

Well, good day. Yeah.

On a good day. Absolutely. On a good day.

I did drive her with that sort of enormous restraint, by the way,

to Bista that we were talking about. What was that gorgeous phrase that

the right level of restraint or something?

I drove her with the right. I mean, I was really enjoying lanes one and two

all the way. I mean, I really was listening to a little bit of radio.

There is a way to drive, isn't there? And then there's another way to drive.

And they're both appropriate on the right days. But I think I think going to Bista,

you know, barely breaking two and a half thousand revs as you just

waft up the motor. That's the way to do it.

I think it's lovely that doing 14 to the gallon.

Right. Well, we've got to get a move on here.

Chance will be incredibly slow. It's lovely though.

Any F1 gossip is the question mark. Well, I'll tell you what, I'll start that again.

Last week, I went to the Red Bull factory.

Oh, and I had a rather hot chat with the boss, Lauren Meckies, who was

immaculately dressed and a really, really impressive individual.

Now, the reason I went there, I can't say what it was.

And you'll see a video at some point soon, I'm sure.

But what I've missed in my observations around F1, which I feel a bit ashamed of,

is that this rule change for 2026 really is a huge shake-up,

a much bigger shake-up than perhaps we'd realize.

We get a bit stuck on aero regs and oh, are the cars going to come out of corners

on electric power and hear anything. Red Bull is making its own engine.

Now, I think the ambition to do that is quite extraordinary, really.

You think about the F1 manufacturers that have done an engine and a chassis at the same time

on the same site. Now, on the same site, there's only one that's really done that,

and they're Italian. And this is a company that predominantly makes fizzy pop,

it makes drinks, and it's making a Formula One engine.

Now, I know it's been in the game for a while, but I look around and I have to say,

what is required to develop and produce a modern Formula One engine will blow your mind.

So, yeah, I don't have any F1 gossip, but I think this year is going to be much more interesting

than perhaps we realized or feared. There might be a sense that the cars go a bit slower,

but I think it's absolutely all up for grabs. I really do. So, having gone to a Formula One team

in January when the ice was on the ground, I'm so much more buoyed by what I think we're going to see

this year, I have to say. Managed. I mean, Red Bull aren't doing it on their own.

I mean, they are doing it with the might of Ford. So, that's one sort of very big...

Well, that's good. I have to correct you, because having seen it,

what Red Bull are doing and invested in it versus what Ford is doing is the ratio is about

nine to one, I'd say Red Bull. That's the bit I hadn't realized. It really is Red Bull. It's a

little bit of Ford, but it's a lot of Red Bull. Wow. I had no idea. I thought it was quite the other

way around that they were building it there so they could integrate it with the chassis,

and that was that. So, really, Red Bull have specced this engine. So, this is a little bit like

John Barnard speccing the Porsche V6 for, you know, yes, it's a Porsche on it, but it was basically

a McLaren engine. I wouldn't want to estimate Ford's involvement, but, you know, this is a Red

Bull engine. Right. So, I guess my... Just taking out what you said, the big goth for me is,

with such massive rule changes in every single box, and I've been watching this since I was 13

years old, I've never seen rule changes which involve the chassis, aero, an engine, and fuel

all at the same time. And I think this could be just... It could be a mad season because,

to be honest, I don't really know why this has happened. That's the first thing. We only had

massive rule changes four years ago. So, I find it a bit perplexing. I understand that Audi were

being sticks in the mud about, you know, when people were saying, well, do we really need to do

this? And Audi were like, no, we've entered on the basis of these rules, so these rules it shall be.

I wonder whether this is going to be unnecessarily complicated. I think dumping the MGUH, you know,

it simplifies the engine, but it's just another variable. But in terms of gossip, the best bit

of gossip I could lead you to is the race have done a very, very interesting video on Honda. And

the gossip is that Honda missed this clever trick with compression ratios. They're coming in with

Aramco synthetic fuels. Aramco have never made a synthetic fuel. And Valveline haven't made oil

for an engine in a long while. So, in other words, the gossip is that maybe, even if the

Aston Martin's got this amazing chassis, they get all the aero ride, everything's absolutely

perfect. They may well have a weak power unit for the beginning. That's about all. And I think

Lewis Hamilton, there was a little leaky rumor there about whether he's not happy with testing.

He may not go into the season. There was another little leaky little rumor there. But I mean,

who knows? But what we do know is that testing is behind closed doors for the first time that I

can ever remember. There must be a good reason for that. Yes. Well, they don't want to repeat

of that test in 14. Yeah. Was it 13 or 14? 14. I remember going down there to Hereth. And we

got there. He was basically silent for a day and a half. I think Kimmy went out and did a couple

laps and the Mercedes did a few laps. That was it. There was nothing. We all went to the Pirelli

tent and had some tea. It wasn't a test. So, well, and one other thing. Yes. There is a suggestion

that we might see some rule changes change quite early on in the season. There's a few people,

I think, are thinking, this is not entirely manageable the way it is. Something's going to

have to give. And I think that's quite unprecedented. Wow. Chris Cooper. So, interesting about

Honda. The important thing, though, is if the Honda engine that Aston Martin isn't very good,

we all know that Laurent Stroh will take it really, really well. So, it'll probably be fine.

And if the Red Bull engine doesn't work very well, they can't call it a Renault anymore,

because that's kind of what they did when the engine didn't work very well. It's just called a

Renault. Very good. Yes. We'll blame then. I don't have any gossip other than just sort of, I'm

genuinely interested to see how, because there's so many changes, at least it won't be the same as

last year. And that will be interesting and fun. So, bring it on. I think that's right. I think that,

in a way, it's control-ult-delete, isn't it? Yeah. So, I think that that will mean it's quite exciting.

I did see the little clip, I'm sure we've all seen it on Instagram, of the sound. I think it was the

Audi. Audi. Sounded all right. Sounded better, I thought. No, I don't know. It should sound better,

because they're not trying to harvest a load of exhaust gas to make more, you know. So,

of course, it should sound better. Well, yeah, that's good, isn't it? If it sounds better, it's

good, because they will sound a bit better because of the way the intakes work and the MGUK.

So, that's the bit I hadn't got my head around or even thought about, is that by removing the MGUK,

sorry, the MGUH, the driver's going to have a harder time, because that really was a,

that smoothed out the power delivery, because you could fill the torque gap before the lag

was effective, and they've got rid of that. So, really, you know, they're going to end up with

a 1,000 horsepower hybrid that's got massive turbo lag. A wet race in Monaco could be quite

interesting this year for these buggers. They're certainly going to earn their money, that's for

sure. This isn't the year of Cadillac. Yes, it is. Is it a Ferrari engine? Well, yeah.

No, it's good enough. The first race is, no, Melbourne. Melbourne, yeah.

Melbourne. Beginning of March. Beginning of March. I was stood on the track a week ago.

I wish I was going back for that. It'd be bloody amazing, wouldn't it?

Okay, let's go with a two-car garage. So, this was posed by a chap called Lloyd, who is the owner

of the garage I bought my AXGT from Driving Heroes. Lovely chap with his business partner,

just proper enthusiasts. They've got a shed with some, you know, modestly priced, but really

lovely hatchbacks. It's a hot hatch, haven't really. He's into the stuff we're into. So,

he's posed us a really nice hot hatch two-car garage. You're an average petrolhead living

rurally. The hot hatch has always worked for you. However, you're uninspired by the current choice

of hot hatchery available on the market today, which I think is fair enough. I support him on that.

You've decided you'll no longer step into main dealers for your financed new car. Instead,

I know he's not in any way pumping for business here. Instead, you decide to take a modest personal

loan of 30,000 to go backwards and buy one keeper pre-2010 hot hatch to enjoy on weekends,

take to the business ground balls and go back to your era. And one post-2010 hot hatch to do the

day-to-day, enjoy modern comforts and engage you in a way that can't be offered brand new anymore.

I think of all the two-car garages I've read, very few go straight to the inner workings of my head

like that one. I wrestle with that one on a daily basis. Let's go with Neil first.

Right. This is magic. And actually, I've done it so well, I've got three cars for 30 grand.

I've got three cars, but not because I've done it well.

Because if you list the marks, you've got to have a Renault, you've got to have a Peugeot,

and you've got to have a Volkswagen, frankly, because they're the fucking kings of the whole

thing, aren't they? So a big mileage car, but it doesn't really matter because it's got full

surface history apart from a saggy headlining, is a Renault Clio trophy. Those things go silly

money if they're low mileage, 15, 20, 25, 30 grand. This one is for sale for 9995 on car classics,

105,000 miles. Look at those wheels. You could argue till the end of the world, are they the best

wheels of a hot hatch? But then you need a convertible. And actually, I almost genuinely

didn't put this in my fucking three car garage because I want to buy the thing myself.

It's a 205, 1.9 CTI convertible. Yeah, I've seen that one. Full surface history.

That's right. And it's got the colour, it's in green colour coded wheels. 1.9 electric roof,

8995, for Christ's sake. Amazing. That's lovely. Yeah, that's lovely, right? Down in Brown's house,

go get it. Yeah. Yeah. Then you need the sensible one when the other two break down.

And our friend, our infamous Mr. JK has also got two of these bloody things because they're

also an investment for the future, better than Bitcoin. The Volkswagen.

Hear me out, guys. Yeah, up GTI. What a cute little fucking car that is. 2018. Okay,

hasn't got car play because the dash is like a tonkatoin, you can't fit it in. But apart from

that, and it's got a bit of a weird fake carbon dash, I've had a couple of these. But that interior

has got the check. Look at that. That's pretty cool. You literally, you could fit this in your

front room. It's such a tiny little thing. This has got the optional panoramic roof

for 10 grand. You won't be that. I've seen, by the way, none of you. I've seen a drive instructor

with one of those, an up GTI doing driving tests. It's a gorgeous, gorgeous little car,

actually. And then, you know, they're not going to make cars that cool ever again, unless there's a

revolution. Very good. Three cars have to say controversial in places. The convertible, I

like that a bit of a twist. And I'm going to say something like I'll be a heretic now. I never

got on with the up GTI. I drove loads of them. And I just, I thought it was such a worthy effort

from Volkswagen to do something that no one else was doing. But it reminded me that you just cannot

make a car that feels the way that an AX GT does or a 205XS in the modern day, even if you're a

clever Volkswagen, there's a sort of numbness to the car that I just, if you got in a car that was

a similar type that was 20 years older, they just feel so on their tippy toes that the AX I've got

is just, you can almost steer it with your eyeballs. It's unbelievable, that thing. So I get it,

but I never quite jelled with it. And of course, it was a car that people in my job were supposed

to say was a hero. And when I went, I'm not sure about this. God, the hate man I got. In fact,

I couldn't even get that out to keep my reputation. Chris Cooper. So I've slightly cheated because...

Oh, really? That is the coolest hot hatchback ever, bar none. Is it a rally or a G60? It's a rally.

It's a rally G60. That lovely green... Not sure. That is a hot hatch.

Then we need to have a little competition. Hot hatch or not a hot hatch?

We'll do this, we'll do this, but there's only one that matters, which whichever side of the line

you sit, is it integrally a hot hatch? Yes. No, it's not. It's not. It's not. Why? It's four

doors. And also, it's a performance car. It's a full-on performance car. I mean, there is that.

Yeah, okay, let's come back and do that because I haven't finished mine. And I'll never get a chance

to do that. No, let's carry on with the debate. Yeah, go on. Because that rally is the auction

finishes today, so that's no good. So this one starts when this pod goes, cars go out. The wheels

aren't quite right. Renault 5 GT Turbo Phase 2. The wheels aren't quite right, but that is just

a stunning thing. That starts on Friday, so the wind comes out. That'll be on the auction site.

And the other one, and I mean, where'd you go? I think this is in classifiers on car and classic.

The original and best, Willie Cleer. Yeah, William. You've just spent about £40,000,

£41,000. No, I haven't spent about £70,000. I thought it was £23,000. I thought it was

money. It started the debate, which we can continue about, what is or is not a hot hatchback.

We should continue to debate this then.

Next week, I'm going to come up with five cars, hatchback or not, hot hatchback or not.

Chris Jupiter does not believe in rules-based order, does he? Managed, what about you?

Again, it's not my sensible one, which is the 2010 Mini Cooper works.

You do like a Mini, don't you? Every other week, Managed chooses a Mini.

I'm just sorry, the thing's British racing has got really good six-speed.

This car's a beautiful car, shut up. Right now, for the hot hatch, I think this...

I've got to thank my friend, Alex, who I had a drink with last night.

He have to give him credit for this. He found a 1998 Honda Integra Type R DC2

for £20,000 on car and classic. Look at this thing.

I think they're good cars. I think they're such a long...

No, no, no, that's a hot hatch.

That is a hot hatch. It is a hot hatch and Ben Miles...

I don't think it is. It is. Ben Miles...

It's two-wheel drive. Two-wheel drive is really important as well.

Front-wheel drive. He said, although it's front-wheel drive, this is what he said

in Goodwood Magazine 2019. Ben Miles, when I arrived in Spain, the Honda Integra Type R

looked to me like something that I would have expected to see around the back of Tesco

in the early 2000s. But when I stepped out of the car, it was a thing of wonder,

something I would gladly spread my wallet for. And that's for £20,000.

So I've spent £28,950. And this thing, it's got red Recaro seats in it.

Yes, yes, yes. It's the killer hot hatch, I think.

Except it is not a hot hatch. It is a hot hatch.

I think you've all had a reasonable stab at this, managed as ever as played by the rules,

unlike certain people in this group. But I think there's...

You can't do this and not have a Mark VII Golf GTI. I drove my sons last week.

And I still think it's one of the best cars I've ever driven. I phoned him and said,

you're a bit done here because there's no better car than this. It's just

absolutely brilliant to what it does. So I found one. It's at Bramley.

It's on car and classic, but it's at Bramley. I POA. We've got to stop that POA thing.

It's done 80,000 miles. I mean... POA for a Golf.

I know, I know. It will be 50 grand.

No, it won't. I'm saying... So that should be about 10 grand that car. It's probably 15 grand.

It's probably 15 grand is what I'm saying for that. So the next one is this, right?

The hot hatch thing is for me about the way it feels to drive the car.

Very few of them actually look brilliant to me. I find them appealing and I like little details,

but ultimately they're based on quite ordinary cars. But there was also...

It was all a part of being a bit of an individual. Back in the day, you're reliving the dream.

You didn't want to have the same car as everyone else. You wanted to have something

that was a bit quirky that had the performance. It might not... The 205 GTI was the obvious one.

And there's a car that just absolutely went under the radar. That was the 309 GTI.

These things drove absolutely... They actually handled better than 205s.

205 GTIs are going the way of bloody forwards, aren't they? Getting very expensive.

But that car is... That's an absolute minter and it's 16 grand.

Yeah, my brother might have one of those at the time.

Yeah, I'm not really sure it's a hot hatch, though.

Next week... Do you really think next week?

It's a hot hatch. It looks a bit long.

I mean, that's such a good... Do you know what? It's such a Neil comment,

because I should be able to say to you, fuck off, Neil. That's ridiculous. But you're right.

Hot hatches shouldn't be long. It shouldn't be long.

Midley T-shirt, hot hatches shouldn't be long.

He's so right. Oh, balls. Okay, maybe I've undone myself there. I've got to reconsider that.

Okay, let's do some music as we are about 17 hours into this podcast. Thank you for staying

with us, dear listener. Right, a bit of music. So, Manage, off you go.

It was the 10th anniversary of the passing of David Bowie this week.

He passed on the 10th of January, 2016, and I have been listening to a bit of David Bowie,

and I know we don't do a political podcast, but there was a song that he wrote, which was the

theme tune to a film called The Falcon and the Snowman. It was John Schlesinger's last really

good film about a true story about an American spy who finds himself kind of a little bit

over his head. It was Timothy Hutton and Sean Penn in it. Brilliant film, 1985,

and the theme tune is This Is Not America, that David Bowie wrote with the Pat Matheny group.

It's a beautiful, haunting song. I thought about he was always just a million light

years ahead of everyone, and what a song to write. What a song to write.

Neil Clifford. You know you listen, you hear a song and you think, oh my god, I must have

remembered that song because it's so clearly an amazing song, but you don't know whether you

do remember it or whether it's just an amazing song. You've never heard it before.

Well, that's what goes on in my head anyway. The Sundays where the story ends and plays,

you won't be like, do I know that song? But you listen to it and even if you don't know it,

you think you do because it's that good. It's a brilliant song. In fact, they've been in the press,

haven't they? That's why you've liked me, you read something about them. Didn't they have an incredibly

lead singer? Really pretty. I can't remember. So Sundays, Chris Cooper.

I also went for David Bowie. There was obviously a lot of stuff because it's the 10th anniversary

of the death in the last week or so. There was something I thought last night was on the train

very late at night. There was an interview. Jeremy Paxman, who is a British sort of news

interviewer type person with David Bowie. It must have been in the mid 90s.

When he predicts the internet. And Paxo was sort of saying, it's just a tool, isn't it?

And in 1995, whenever it was, there was David Bowie saying, it's going to change everything.

But it was classic Paxo, that one, wasn't it? Because it was so superior. But it's just a

shopping tool. So for me, there's only one David Bowie song and it's a cliche, but it's great

in a kind. It's wonderful. It's uplifting heroes. Yeah, good song. Now, I don't know how you pronounce

this artist. This got sort of my algorithm burped this up. Sometimes some of the stuff that comes

at you on Instagram is irritating. But sometimes you think, oh, I'm so glad I wouldn't know about

that. It's, it's a French artist who I think started in the 70s, sort of a progenitor to Daft Punk,

C-E-R-R-L-N-E, Cheroni or Cheroni? Yes. Now, why didn't I know about this? Supernature. What a

track that is. Oh, that is great. Chris, he supported JK at his tour. So he played Supernature.

He basically literally, he was the lead act. He was the warmup act for Jay. It was, it was

unbelievable. I haven't seen this guy since I was eight. Well, that's why it's been pushed to me,

because obviously I look at JK's stuff on, on the interweb. That's why it's come up. So I've,

I just had this on a loop in the car or so many great tunes. Just fantastic synth music from the

17th and the 18th. I feel like I've been educated in some way. So get on and have, it's really good

driving music as well. You'll enjoy that. Can I just have a Paris notice, please? I'm in, in my

expression of love for the V8 earlier. I obviously showed you a V12 BMW instead. Thank you. What I

meant to show you was that one. Yeah, thank you. I was in 750i. Oh, very V12. So that's been a bit

of a marathon. I'm sorry about that. But we will, we'll have you back for episode 71 next week.

Neil Clever, will you be in the UK or will it be somewhere else? Yes, back on Friday, thank God.

Yeah. Oh, I might not be in the UK. We'll see how it goes. We'll love you and leave you. Thank you

very much for your chili support. And I hope you don't feel too chilly in January, the weather we

better soon. The days are getting longer.

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Coolest V8 Bargains! | The Car Podcast #70

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