A lively, rambling roundtable where Chris Harris & friends trade car-owner cliches, misplacing gear, and the universal pain of curbing wheels—then pivot into real driving stories. Chris Cooper gushes about a Bentley Bentayga Speed loaner, including a near-panic at fuel shortages on the M4. Manish and Neil debate used EV momentum in the US, while Neil recounts a hybrid/charging mishap and other weekend dramas. Later, they argue whether car brands have “gender,” get oddly specific about wire wheels, and set up upcoming track/podcast events plus a £15k “two-car garage” challenge.
"...listening in black and white to the wonderful battery charger of the Makita. It's the king of tyre pressure chargers. So the little thing that docks in there, it's gone."
Makita is a company that makes power tools. Here they’re using a Makita charger for a tyre-pressure-related gadget, like something you’d plug in and charge at home.
Makita is a well-known power-tool brand. In the segment, they’re talking about a Makita battery charger used for charging a tyre-related device, showing how common tool brands have moved into automotive-adjacent gear.
"...listening in black and white to the wonderful battery charger of the Makita. It's the king of tyre pressure chargers..."
A battery charger replenishes the charge in a battery-powered device. Here it’s specifically used for a tyre-pressure inflator system, emphasizing that cordless automotive tools depend on proper charging.
"...I literally, if I put something down a second later, I don't know where it is. So I have to retransmit it. So it's in the boot of another car somewhere."
The boot is the storage compartment at the rear of a car (the trunk in some regions). They mention the inflator/charger being in the boot of another car, which is a common place people store portable tools.
"...someone's nicked by Boester. [798.0s] ...someone's gone, oh no, that's because we're all a bit mad and dyslexic. That's supposed to say someone's nicked my Booster, as in my battery booster."
A “battery booster” is a device you use to jump-start a car if the battery is dead. It’s like having a portable power source so you can get going again.
A “battery booster” is a portable jump-start device used to provide power to start a car with a weak or dead battery. The transcript plays on the phrase “nicked my Booster,” treating it like a misheard line, but the underlying automotive concept is jump-start equipment.
"I'm sure the MOT was less than a year ago. Yes. And you can cross out the word MOT and write insurance or service. Tax."
In the UK, an MOT is a required check to make sure a car is safe and meets emissions rules. It’s like a yearly inspection you have to keep up with to legally drive.
In the UK, an MOT is a mandatory annual (or periodic) safety and emissions inspection for most road cars. When someone says “the MOT was less than a year ago,” they’re talking about when the car last passed that official inspection.
"Because of course, no one ever owns up to curbing a wheel in my in my household. Apart from me, which is as we I think we discussed this before, it is the worst feeling of car ownership if you curb your own wheel."
Curbing your wheel is when you accidentally scrape your tire or rim against the curb. It can leave a dent and sometimes cause problems like vibration or faster tire wear.
“Curbing” a wheel means scraping the rim against a curb, which can damage the wheel face, bend the rim, and sometimes harm the tire sidewall. It’s a common ownership mistake that can lead to vibration or tire wear if the wheel is affected.
"do you remember when we were in Rome and there was that La Ferrari and it said car number one and Luca looked in and came out and went, well, maybe, maybe there are five of those."
The LaFerrari is a very rare Ferrari supercar. People often talk about it in terms of how many were made, because it’s so exclusive.
The LaFerrari is Ferrari’s limited-production hybrid supercar from the 2010s. It’s famous for being extremely rare and for having a numbered/limited allocation culture around it.
"So, you know, if someone curbs a wheel, I'm like, you're right. If someone comes back to me with a steering wheel that's bent in half and says the rest of the car is in a ditch, it is not a single straight panel."
“Curbing” is when you bump the curb with your wheel. It can damage the tire or wheel and may mess up the car’s alignment, which can cause wobbling or uneven tire wear.
“Curbing” a wheel means hitting the curb with the tire/wheel, which can bend the wheel, damage the tire sidewall, and sometimes knock suspension components out of alignment. It’s a common cause of vibration or pulling later on.
"and unnecessary and unjustified, that our Bentley Bentayga has sort of become my Bentley Bentayga. On account of, will I ever let anybody else drive it? There's a reason for that. It's bloody impressive."
The Bentley Bentayga is a very upscale SUV from Bentley. It’s meant to be comfortable and capable for long drives, not just a fancy car to look at.
The Bentley Bentayga is Bentley’s luxury SUV, built to combine high-end comfort with strong performance and a very “grand tourer” feel. In this segment, the host is emphasizing how practical it is for everyday life and long trips.
"So I phoned my wife, Lynn, and said, can you find a Shell petrol station? Because we love Shell. Sort of near where I am. Give them all a telephone call."
Shell is a gas station brand. They’re saying they wanted Shell fuel specifically, and they liked that this station had premium “V-Power” pumps.
Shell is a major global fuel retailer. The speaker specifically calls out finding a Shell petrol station and later praises the “V-Power” pumps, which are Shell’s premium fuel offering in many markets.
"but my little bit of car news, it was looking at used EV sales."
EV means electric vehicle. It’s a car that runs on electricity from a battery, and people buying used ones are a sign of how the EV market is maturing.
EV stands for electric vehicle—cars powered primarily by an electric motor and a battery pack rather than a traditional internal-combustion engine. Used EV sales are a key indicator of how the market is adjusting to battery longevity perceptions and total cost of ownership.
"So people aren't holding on to their EVs, they're dumping their EVs, so used EVs, you look at fuel price..."
They’re talking about buying electric cars that are already owned, not brand-new ones. If those used EVs get cheaper, more people are likely to buy them instead of petrol cars.
The discussion is about the used (pre-owned) electric vehicle market, not just new EVs. When used EV prices drop relative to used petrol cars, more buyers are willing to switch because the entry cost feels lower.
"And Experian are saying 15% of their car finance... are to finance EVs..."
Experian is a company that collects and analyzes credit/finance data. In this case, they’re being cited to show how much people are financing EVs versus other cars.
Experian is a credit bureau that also tracks consumer finance data, including auto finance trends. Here, it’s used as a source for how much of car financing is going toward EVs.
"very tiny wheel curb mark on one of the wheels.
[2579.9s] No, it was."
A curb mark is cosmetic damage to a wheel from scraping a curb—often a small nick or scuff on the rim. Even tiny marks matter on premium cars because wheels are expensive and visible, and they can affect resale value.
"...whether we, you know, trade it in and get a new,"
“Trade it in” means you give your old car to the dealer and it counts toward the price of the next car. Sometimes it’s convenient, but you should compare it to selling the car yourself.
“Trade it in” is when you hand your current car to the dealer as part of the purchase price for a new (or used) vehicle. It can simplify the transaction, but the trade-in value may be lower than what you could get selling privately.
"She's like, well, Audi. [3236.5s] And I'm like, really, Audi? ... [3244.7s] And then we discuss Audi and actually the conclusion of Audi is pretty 50-50 and it's more of a family car, sort of safer car. [3253.4s] It's not so macho as a BMW."
Audi is a luxury car brand from Germany. Here, they’re talking about how people sometimes “assign” a brand a vibe—like family-friendly or more masculine/feminine—based on who they think drives it.
Audi is a German luxury brand that’s often associated with a particular design language and customer base. In this segment, the hosts discuss how brand perception can skew toward “family” or “safer” rather than “macho,” showing how marketing and styling can shape gendered expectations.
"And for Fiat, that did sort of, you thought of Fiat, you thought the Fiat 500.
If you thought the Fiat 500, you thought they appeared to be on a non-scientific data proven"
The Fiat 500 is a tiny, popular Fiat car. Here, they’re basically talking about how people tend to think of it as “the Fiat” model, and how that kind of association can change if the model gets replaced.
The Fiat 500 is a small city car made by Fiat, and it’s one of the brand’s most recognizable models. In this segment, the hosts are using it as an example of how people associate certain cars with certain “types” or expectations.
"Mercedes, BMW, Audi, yeah, sort of, sort of resonate with a more traditional,
used to it, sort of 80s and 90s, certainly."
Mercedes is a luxury car brand from Germany. They’re mentioning it alongside other German brands to talk about how people stereotype car “personalities.”
Mercedes-Benz (often shortened to “Mercedes”) is a German luxury automaker. Here it’s grouped with BMW and Audi as part of the conversation about how people perceive different brands’ character.
"The view is that right in the middle was Volkswagen in our family.
Volkswagen is totally 50-50.
That is sort of universal."
Volkswagen is a big German car company. In this segment, they’re saying Volkswagen feels like the balanced or neutral choice compared with the other brands.
Volkswagen is a major German automaker known for mainstream models and a broad lineup. The hosts describe Volkswagen as the “middle” option in their family’s perceived vehicle gender/personality spectrum.
"what's the newest car that still works with spoke wheels?
I think that wire wheels have to go with chrome bumpers."
Wire wheels are the old-school kind of wheels made from thin metal spokes. The point here is that they tend to look right on classic-looking cars, and can look out of place on newer designs.
Wire wheels are the classic thin-spoke wheel style often associated with vintage European cars. The hosts are discussing how wire wheels “belong” visually with older styling cues (like chrome bumpers) and how modern cars usually don’t pull off the look without looking mismatched.
"Now, as the public information broadcaster, I can now give him permission
...to tell us about an amazing event at Thruxton.
We'll let you get all that previous bit out.
So on Saturday, June, we have an amazing track day and podcast event at Thruxton."
Thruxton is a well-known motorsport circuit in the UK, commonly used for track days and racing events. Mentioning Thruxton anchors the discussion geographically and contextually—this isn’t just a theoretical conversation, it’s tied to an on-track event. Listeners can infer the cars will be driven hard enough to matter for handling and wheel/stance discussion.
"If you don't want to come, you want to watch the track day and mingle with us
[4094.5s] and come to podcast in the evening."
A track day is when normal cars get to drive on a race circuit for fun. People usually follow rules (like safety and noise limits) and you can watch other cars too.
A track day is an organized event where drivers can use a circuit for timed laps or open sessions, usually with rules about noise, safety gear, and behavior. It’s common for enthusiasts to bring their own cars and sometimes show up with performance mods—though events often have restrictions.
"“Five speed right hand drive manual. I think it's just great.”"
“Manual” means you shift gears yourself using a clutch and gear lever. Many drivers like it because it feels more interactive and fun.
A manual transmission requires the driver to use a clutch and shift gears. Enthusiasts often prefer manuals because they offer more direct control of acceleration and engine speed, especially in lightweight sports cars.
"A 1980 four door Vauxhall Cavalier Brown manual."
Vauxhall Cavalier is a British car model. Here they’re specifically talking about a 1980 four-door version, which is an older “classic” example.
The Vauxhall Cavalier is a British compact car that was sold in multiple body styles and trims. In this segment, the hosts are talking about a 1980 four-door example, which is notable because it represents an early-era Cavalier with a more classic, period-correct feel.
"Oh, wow.
Right hand drive.
It's the little 1100 engine."
Right-hand drive just means the steering wheel is on the right side of the car. That’s normal in places like the UK, where people drive on the left.
“Right hand drive” means the steering wheel is on the right side of the car, which is common in the UK and other countries that drive on the left. It can affect how the car feels and how it’s packaged for local regulations and driving position.
"if you've got five or six grand, a Mini Cooper S. Lovely little silver car, six grand, made by BMWs."
A Mini Cooper S is the sportier version of the Mini Cooper. It’s the kind of small car people buy when they want something fun, but not expensive.
The Mini Cooper S is the sportier trim of the Mini Cooper line, typically tuned for a more responsive drive than the base model. In this segment, it’s being discussed as an “obvious choice” because it’s relatively inexpensive and expected to be dependable.
"[4571.1s] It's in the auction.
[4573.0s] It's done 29,800 miles.
[4576.7s] 2015 XE 2.5 with 2-liter engine, 250 horsepower, whatever it is."
An auction is where cars are sold to the highest bidder, often with less negotiation than a traditional dealership sale. For buyers, auctions can mean better prices, but you also need to be careful about condition, history, and inspection.
"Here's a helpful fact you might not know yet. Drivers who switch and save with Progressive save over $900 on average."
Progressive is a company that sells car insurance. This part is basically an ad saying you could save money by switching.
Progressive is an insurance company that advertises car insurance savings. The segment uses a “helpful fact” framing to promote switching and saving, including an average dollar amount.
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Hello and welcome to episode 82 of the car podcast with Chris Harris and friends.
We're not going to go there. We're not going to go there.
It is definitely not 69 plus 13, as Chris Cooper suggested before we started this immaturity.
We're going to say that it was the year that I started big school, 1982.
January, it was snowy and my dad took me to school in a white E21 323i and spun it on the way.
He spun it on the way. Ian Harris, kind man, not a great driver.
Let's start by. This is one that came out of last week's activities or this weekend's activity.
I went to do what we all did to coax some old tin from sleeping in the shed.
The summer's out. Loads of cars to get out and about. I thought, I'll start my old Z3M Roadster.
Could I find my no-co SuperDuper lithium battery pack? Could I? F-E-C-K.
Because someone has hit me. And I've put, someone's nicked my booster pack on our Brute Chat.
And I thought to myself, well, that's one of the car cliches in the spring, isn't it?
So I'm going to ask my learning friends to come up with their other cliches.
Cliches, by the way, are great things. They've got a special term, not to be derogatory,
because they're very useful terms. Speaking of cliches is a good thing. Don't worry about it.
You can talk in cliches on the Cascade Lane. Let's go to Chris Cooper.
This question sort of distinguishes
the foibles and cliches that I have and that Lynn, my wife, has about each other.
So if it comes to the car, if I've heard this once, I've heard it a lot. She said,
where's the umbrella used to be in the back of my car? I do move umbrellas.
I do move umbrellas. In fact, we'll come to it a bit later. I drove this afternoon,
Mr Clifford's Egg Extraordinary Project 8 Jaguar. It had an umbrella in the boot.
Yes. That's gone, obviously. You can't leave umbrellas in the boot. They rattle around and
they bang about. So where's that umbrella gone is one of Lynn's. Where's the map that was in the
back of the seat gone? Yeah. I know that happens and I like maps. But the one that is, oh, I can,
I could just, it's cringing. It's just, we'll get into her car to go and join together, which we
don't do very often, actually. Not because we don't enjoy each other's company, not because she's not
very good. She's a really good driver. In fact, she drives really smoothly and well,
and I can sleep in the car rather than thinking, are we going too fast? Are we going the wrong
way? Are we going the wrong way again? None of that. Lynn's a really good, really good driver.
I really enjoy her driving company and her company, obviously, because we'll have been married to 30
years this year. But where's the phone charger? Where's the phone charger? If I have one and I
have had it, and actually, when Christy, you were, you were bemoaning the loss of your
booster. I asked all in sundry, where's my tyre pump? I'm holding up for those viewers
listening in black and white to the wonderful battery charger of the Makita. It's the king
of tyre pressure chargers. So the little thing that docks in there, it's gone. I don't know where
it is. And I've asked everybody, where's my entire, it's brilliant. It might, I might have left it
somewhere. I think it's you tidying up constantly. It might be me tidying up, or because I'm so,
I don't know whether it's because I'm autistic or ADHD or whatever, but I literally, if I put
something down a second later, I don't know where it is. So I have to retransmit it. So it's in the
boot of another car somewhere. So yeah, it is, these are off to use car statements in our home,
mainly about me. Let's go to Manish next, because he does so few miles per year. I'm
on the basis that this does, I do so few miles a year and that I don't know how to read a question
either. I thought this was about general motor racing or motoring idioms. So what I decided to do
was just put together my favourite for Murray Walker, which you can sort of see how I got there.
It wasn't, it wasn't correctly written by me. It's fair to say. I do apologise for my dyslexia.
I mean,
if anything you don't like in the podcast, just give us your four favourite Murray quotes
from that year. Perfect. I promise, I promise I'll do that. I'm not going to do a Murray voice,
but honestly, these four really, I love this. There's nothing wrong with the car, except it's
on fire. I love that. It's just genius. Do my eyes deceive me or is Senna's car sounding a bit rough?
I imagine the conditions in those cars are totally unimaginable.
On a hot day in Brazil, 82, I remember that one. But this is the best Murray is in my opinion.
Nigel Mansel is in third position. He's gone from seven to six to fourth and fifth and now to third.
So there you go. Do you think that was part just forgetfulness or just Murray or just
what do you say? Oh, I don't know. There were just so many. I suppose it could go either way,
couldn't it? I think just digressing completely. Murray was super technical. He actually knew
everything about all those cars. He was beauty, as you know, since his motorbikes before his cars.
And I do wonder whether the Murray Walker that was commentating was this sort of absolutely
brilliant machine who understood getting technical was a bit boring. So his job was just
describe and just leave those little perfect pauses for James to come in and explain.
And there's a big difference, isn't there, between describing and explaining? And I think
I think it really was stream of consciousness stuff. You know, but I just love that. He went,
you know, to fourth, to fifth. It's just great. It's just great. Sorry. I need to interpret that
he was this sort of generalist that just came in and shrieked down the microphone.
It's rubbish. He was so well prepared. His notes for races were rigorous. He knew everything. He
knew everyone. I just think he got completely carried away in the moment. He just loved it. He
absolutely adored what he did. He adored the sport. And once he was on full throttle at
valve bounce with that mic, you know, and he was a very strong man as well. He was a physical
presence. He had massive arms. I think he just used to get a bit carried away. And when he got
carried away, he'd sometimes get his mucky words fuddled up. And that made him even more appealing
and more human to all of us. And that's, and I think that's why he was just so brilliant. You
know, he came, he was from that, you know, that era of commentator that were whether it was,
you know, rugby, cricket, football, you know, we Murray was ours. You know, you had Doritchie
Benos and you know, John Motsons. They were of an era, weren't they? They were human.
And they were our era, I suppose. They were. They were little. And they defined our world
because they were little. And I try to think, I mean, we'll have a conversation about some
other time. I was trying to think about my favorite. The thing that Murray said that
he had the amazing commentary when Damon won the world championship in Japan in 96.
Everyone's heard the, and I've got a stop because I got a lump in my throat. If you listen to the
whole of that last lap, he's really struggling to hold it in. Yeah. Think about Damon, his dad,
the awful circumstances of his dad's accident and the era that he lived in. But the one about Murray
that was all made me think, Frikey, he knew exactly what we were feeling. I can't remember
what the race was. Man, as you'll know this, he said, it was before a race, he was setting the
scene and he said, I can feel my heart beating in my chest. Which everyone that was will
manage to think about it in a minute. But yeah, wonderful.
Do you remember when he interviewed Bernie about buying McLaren?
Yes.
It's a direct question. What do you remember about buying McLaren? Bernie just looks,
sort of does that, he goes. Well, for starters, I don't remember buying McLaren.
And it was, it was just so good. It was almost like.
Did I say McLaren? What did I say McLaren? You know.
When he, when he, when he poked, when he poked Nigel on the forehead, right, and he hits them,
but he hits the brooms. I mean, it's just Jeff. How have we gone from, so I'm going to tell you
what my notes say. My notes say the following. My notes say, someone's nicked by Boester.
And I'm always starting, I've had to say, I don't know what this is about. What are we talking
about? And someone's gone, oh no, that's because we're all a bit mad and dyslexic. That's supposed
to say someone's nicked my Booster, as in my battery booster. And we've gone in the space of 10 minutes
to Murray Walker quotations. I don't know how we do this. Neil Clifford. What you talk about,
anything you want to talk about, you can talk about road and dendron bushes, you can talk about
boats, Concorde, who gives a shit? Just go for it.
Well, either things that I say or things that I hear regarding our little world of cars is,
I'm sure the MOT was less than a year ago. Yes. And you can cross out the word MOT and write
insurance or service. Tax. Because when someone says, and of course, we're always
insured on everything and wouldn't question our insurance tool. But there's no doubt that when
someone says to you, when was the last time it was serviced? And you say, oh, I think it was last year.
And then you look and it was 2019. Because time just is irritatingly fast. And as you get older,
it seems to go faster. So definitely the servicing thing is very annoying.
The other one that says it says a lot in my household is it definitely wasn't me, dad. Someone
must have hit me in the car park. But you can cross out hit me to someone must have done that to my
wheel. Because of course, no one ever owns up to curbing a wheel in my in my household.
Apart from me, which is as we I think we discussed this before, it is the worst feeling of car ownership
if you curb your own wheel. You literally want to get out, leave the car there, walk away and
never see the car again. It's such an awful awful feeling. Sorry, I was just going to say Neil,
the trick is to park like Manish about a meter away from the curb. I think we've even the best of
drivers, Cooper, let's say, we've all curved a wheel. Yep. And it's absolutely hideous,
because you feel that little that little metal touch you like. Stop it. And you can't you can't
look at it. It's like, I don't know what the analogy is. A dog trying to avoid its shit in the corner
of the room when you've left a dog at home for too long. You actually walk you walk out of the car
and you walk off. You actually can't look at the wheel because you know it's there. I think it's
worse than the dog pooing in the corner. I've talked to my dog about this. And I'm pretty sure
I feel worse about a curb wheel than he does about an errant poo. Well, he forgets about it,
doesn't he? And then only feels guilty when you remind him. When you remind him that he's done
it, he obviously then does that guilty dog look. But it's I've done it numerous times, three or
four times. And you know, you've curved your wheel, you know, you've got a little dent, you know,
it's going to go, you know, you're what's happening, James at posh wash, please come and get it
immediately. I cannot drive this car, even it's in the most inconvenient location, because you've
got to fix the wheel. The other one, a couple of other ones, this is more of a WhatsApp.
I sort of if we if we've all got WhatsApp groups of car friends, I've often seen the
but it is one of the last pin of arena cars. So there's no doubt that it will go up in value.
You know, that's whether you're talking, I don't know, you're talking 360 599 F 12 458 F F,
you know, and I think it's true, by the way, you only have to look at what's going on with
those bloody 458 apertures. I mean, it's madness. The other one I would just add is
which this is more of a sales position. The air con just needs a regas.
We all know that that's compressor, it's pipes, it's 19 hours of labor,
it's four and a half grand plus that and the chances of it lasting more than a summer is very
unlikely. There's a few that I probably hear most of those things on a weekly basis.
Yeah, if you've brought it out to the car trade, I mean, my God, where does this end?
Do you always have a separate podcast for that one? I think the one I get in that world, the one
that used to make me used to make my inner bullshit radar sort of reacts as if someone was
scratching a blackboard with their nails is when someone says, yeah, yeah, I've got I've got the
first one in the country. First one in the country. Yeah, first one. I remember some bloke with a 996
Gemwood GT3 saying, yeah, this is the first one that's ever been in the UK. And I went,
right, I'll be kind. I thought I about six months ago, I drove one from Stuttgart to the UK and
Porsche wrote me a letter saying this is the first time this car's been in the UK. Can you please be
careful with it? So I've got it. I've got the person who's made the car that's confirmed that I've
driven the first one to the UK. This bloke's going, yeah, there's never been a GT3 in the UK before.
And he's probably with you.
Was it Guards Red, the first one? Guards Red?
Well, I don't know. The one I drove back that was the first, according to Porsche, but I don't
know, maybe I was wrong. But the, but I was sitting there. What color was that one? Guards Red. And
I, but you're there, you're thinking, I don't want to, don't want to be a dick and sort of
pop the balloon. But you just, but when people are very certain about the particular numerical
status of their vehicle, you know, full well, because you work in that industry, they're talking
utter shit. I find that quite difficult. I've got, I've got the, uh, yeah, I've got the first one
in the Southwest. How? Also, also, what's, what's the Southwest? Where does that be?
It's West of Reading. Is that West of Reading?
There are people in Sweden. Chris, do you remember when we were,
do you remember when we were in Rome and there was that La Ferrari and it said
car number one and Luca looked in and came out and went, well, maybe,
maybe there are five of those. Yeah. I think, I think one has to be a bit,
a bit careful with that stuff. Uh, I've, I've, uh, I've written a couple down. Here we go.
Or another one, if you live where I live, does it have a permit?
It's a really, if you live in a city every day, someone will say, does it have a permit? And
I'll know for what it doesn't have a permit because my wonderful other half manages that
shit because I'm so disorganized. Um, one, an age-related one, I get, I'm really bad at this
time. So in my head, I only can't find the keys to a particular car once a fortnight,
probably, or once a bit more than the cadence is sort of weekly. In reality, it's probably
an hourly issue. And I'll say, I'll look at her and I'll say, I've been really good with hanging
the car keys up recently. And I haven't, because I'm shit it is. There'll be in a pocket of a
jacket somewhere or my jeans, or they'll be on the side. I'm absolutely bloody useless at
work. Someone's nicked my booster pack. I mean, you could just put, when you say someone's nicked
mine, it means either a child's taken it, I've left it somewhere. In fact, one thing it doesn't
mean is someone's nicked it. It's because it's highly another car. No, no one's got into my unit
and, and decided to take, you know, the 13 mil spanner. It just doesn't happen. I'm not aware
that there is someone that drives around stealing those things. But at that moment, I always use
that verb. Oh, someone's nicked my, someone's nicked my booster pack. They haven't that way at all.
You're sure it's not 13 mil fill, 13 mil fill. He's a piece of geese around your way, Chris.
He's always nicking those handily sized metric spanners.
Yeah. I suppose I, what this, what this does is it exposes
the laziness sometimes of being the putative man of the house, whatever that means, you know,
basically, if anyone else fucks up, it's inconvenient to you and it's their fault. But if you make the
same mistake, there's always some point of mitigation or excuse. So, you know, if someone
curbs a wheel, I'm like, you're right. If someone comes back to me with a steering wheel that's
bent in half and says the rest of the car is in a ditch, it is not a single straight panel.
I'll just say, are you safe and well? It's only a car, but if someone comes back with a curved wheel,
I've got to cuddle us and I'll just start hacking at their face with it because I'm so angry.
If I curbed a wheel, it was, it was the fact that there was a loose curb stone or, you know,
there's always an excuse. And I think that's, I do think this is a, without being sex, I think
it's a very male thing that if anyone else, an awful one, Chris Cooper last week mentioned
parking under trees. If you live where I live, there's a particular, there's a particular bird
that lives in a tree that shits out this berry. And if it gets on your paintwork for more than
about two minutes, I'm sure it just goes through the metal. They just shit raw acid. And if you
park under that tree in one of my cars, or someone parts, I'm a bit angry because I knew what's
going to happen. And the other day we came out, my other harvest went, you just parked the car
straight into the tree. And I went, I was about to say, yeah, but there was nowhere else to park,
but that that's just bollocks. It's just one rule for me and nothing more for everyone else,
isn't it really? That's, that's the essence of this is the fact that we create our own rules
to mitigate against our own pathetic behavior. And yet we point the finger at other people.
Don't be, that's what I do. I'm terrible at it.
Manish, is there a medical explanation, which sort of absolves us from moral ownership and
responsibility for forgetting where we put our car keys?
Just make something up. No, I'm just gonna have to read DSM whatever we're on now.
I think that basically, look, it is true that three of us carry some form of attention deficit
issue. And one of us certainly has some form of obsessive compulsive issue. And I think anybody
who has any of that stuff does live a world of parallel universes, you may want to call them
double standards. They may be gender specific, I don't know, but it does feel like we make up our
own fragile rules. And we just about managed to hold it together 24 hours a day, as long as we are
within our own little constrained rules. Someone pierces that little, I mean, how have the four
of us found each other and stayed mates for three years? I have a feeling our rules overlap
quite considerably. You know, I don't think I've ever been responsible for a curbed wheel or a
lost key in my life. I'm 58. It's pretty good going on. You have to drive places to get those things.
That's true, that's true.
I thought I was normal to like that on this podcast.
Oh, no, we're lost.
I left Ferrari the DiCi Cilindri key on the roof of the car and drove off last
season. Wallets, phones, definitely on the roof. Yeah.
DJI Osmo, I did that one earlier this year. I was trying to get out of my unit and I left the
Osmo on the gutter, the front gutter where the windscreen was on my M5 and just drove off.
I was going on the M2 and I just saw it fly off and go into the grille of the truck behind
and it just exploded. There we go. Can't use, or your can't use, forward slash things you have done.
Let's go to Chris Cooper first.
I have had a very nice few days, not quite as long as I wanted. I came back up country recording
us on a Tuesday evening, Tuesday evening, so the day after Easter. That's been a couple of days
in Cornwall. I was very lucky to have the use of the Bentley Bentayga Speed. Bentley had lent to
us for a few weeks, few months. There's been a little bit of banter, I think uncalled for
and unnecessary and unjustified, that our Bentley Bentayga has sort of become my Bentley Bentayga.
On account of, will I ever let anybody else drive it? There's a reason for that. It's bloody
impressive. It's really, really impressive. It sort of does everything you want. It's clearly,
first of all, problems. Everyone would love to have one of those, but to have them for a couple
of weeks, two, three weeks and just run your life and go say long journeys and stuff,
it's really mega. I took some photographs of it, put them on social media of the King Harry
Ferry and the Roseland and the Rounds and Moors and other places. It sort of fitted in everywhere.
I wonder whether it might actually in all parts of it. No, I'm sure. Lots of places might not fit
in, but it was wonderful. So I really have enjoyed, it's the first Bentley I've really ever had
to drive for, and I have to say, they're quite good, aren't they? They are quite good. I had a
slight drama, nothing to do with the Bentley last night, coming back from Cornwall quite late.
It may be this was just because it was an Easter Monday evening, four-day public holiday sort of
thing, and going eastbound on the M4, the services, what's the services just to the west of Swindon,
near the Chippinham turn off? I know, memory. Lead element. Lead element.
Memories are the one on the eastern side. So I thought, yeah, I was going to stop at
Leedown. I thought, no, I'll go one further. I'll go to memory. And so I went past Leedown Mayor,
went past Swindon, popped into memory, and all of the pumps, almost all of them had the little
yellow, the little yellow plastic thing of doom. No petrol. Diesel was fine. And then there were
three or four that were still there. Oh, great. I'll get one of those. People were like going
around the wrong way and circling and waiting. People were like, well, that person drive out
frontwards or ribbons. I'll come around this way and I'll cut them off and I'll get in there.
Venture got to a pump, super un-loaded, people know what super un-loaded because it's so expensive.
It was working, but literally no fuel came out. Oh, I tapped on the window of the thing.
And this bloke was surrounded by Alsatians and large guns and things on chains. He's
clear. I had a bit of a rough evening. He said, I don't think there's any fuel.
And I had 20 miles left of range. I thought the next services are Newbury. That's about
15 miles away, but the 25 miles won't be 25 miles. It'll be a bit less than that.
They get to Newbury and it'll be chaos. There might be any fuel. Oh, shit. I don't think I can
remember when I last ran out of fuel. So I phoned my wife, Lynn, and said, can you find a Shell
petrol station? Because we love Shell. Sort of near where I am. Give them all a telephone call.
See if they've got any petrol and ask them to save some for me.
A bit like the toilet roll or milk or whatever it was in Covid or something. I don't know how
they're going to save me some because I might not have turned off a bit like in Covid.
But so thank you very much to the lovely people at the Shell station in Hungerford,
which is just south of the M4 in Berkshire. And there's no one there. 24-hour station.
Really nice proper Shell station. Lots of V-Power pumps. So it was brilliant. So when I took the
Bantega this afternoon to Neil's house to swap it over for the Jaguar Project Take,
it's very, very tipped up with fuel. Thank you. That's my love letter to Neil in exchange of
this project. There's no better thing yet. I'm not going to be delivering it directly to
Manish. I'm just going to be the baton. I'm passing it directly to Manish. How exciting.
No, I think we have to force Manish to go on lots of driving things with this car.
I think we have to break his virginity.
Can we keep it to the driving?
I think... I want you to drive to Wales and Scotland and Paris and Cornwall.
I can't wait for Manish to experience the bloody thing. And I want a GoPro on his
face when he puts his foot down. It's one of the most unexpected vehicles I've driven
in a while. And we'll go into it during our tenure with it. I managed a few days.
It was a bit like going to the cinema and you're with four mates and you sit down and the lights
go out and you've bought a massive bucket of popcorn. You know where I'm going with this,
Cooper. And you think, do you know what? I'm going to be a good lad. I've got the big bucket
of popcorn. I'm just going to have one little mat, a little mittful. I'm going to pass it to
make Chris next. And he's going to sit there and eat it for the whole way through the film and not
pass it on. And so he's been getting a lot of shit on our WhatsApp group about the fact that
the Bentayga appears to have just not been passed on. But actually, there's no greater compliment
for the car, is there? I didn't want to let it go. I really didn't want to let it go.
I mean, it's odd that a 300 grand Bentley would fit nicely into your life. It is strange that
such a vehicle would be quite good, isn't it? But the reality is, it's got a personality to it that
I didn't expect. I got it, I thought, is this a windup from the factory? If they've given me some
sort of super-duper engine just and they can all giggle and there's cameras in it because it's nuts
how fast it is and how lively it is. It's not what you think Bentley would be at all. It's
effectively an RS6 on stilts with clear glass and a cream interior made in crew. And I think in a
straight line, it would take... I hope it's better than that. I hope it's better than an RS6.
It would take a car of an RS6 in a straight line, I think. It's much, much nicer than an RS6 to drive.
And that's, you know, a reasonably high bar. And we know we're very lucky to have it. And
yeah, and I was almost too scared to open the bonnet to see what was underneath it because I
sort of half expected to see some sort of Ironman-like chest or throbbing living thing
with that little diskey little thing in the middle you pulled in and out sort of the nuclear
energy core that they've concocted in crew. It's just, it's extraordinary.
Why would you want to open the bonnet?
Curiosity and you open a bonnet to see what's underneath.
Right, what's... I've owned cars for months without looking under the bonnet.
What about your car news versus what you've done this week?
A little bit of car news. I did take that out for a rather lovely spin yesterday and
no problems so far, but my little bit of car news, it was looking at used EV sales.
There was a brilliant article in the Financial Times that if you had a chance to look at it,
but used EV sales in America are surging. And we know there are certain global events which
are causing petrol prices to rise, so that's thought to be a little bit of it, but it just
coincides as do all these big events in life. It's a little bit more multifactorial than that.
It turns out that the leases and the post-pandemic leases are kind of coming to an end in America.
So people aren't holding on to their EVs, they're dumping their EVs, so used EVs,
you look at fuel price, I think in America it's four dollars on average, in California it's almost
six, so people are buying them up. And Experian are saying 15% of their car finance,
or sorry, of the car finance that they track are to finance EVs, up eight percent. And the gap
between, in price, between used EVs and used petrol cars in America has fallen from $4,923
to $1,334. So I guess what I'm saying is that we've talked for years on this podcast about how
governments litigating, trying to prospect, setting up rules,
they produce a certain outcome, which we don't think probably works, doesn't take into account
the market. But when the world changes, especially when the world changes financially,
people change. And I do wonder whether this inadvertently could be the touch paper
that really sets EVs going, because they're also saying in America the infrastructure
is improving, improving, and improving. And someone wrote in the comments, I thought rather
cleverly, that the average commute in a place like California is approximately an hour to an hour
and a half. So that means that you drive your car, you bring it home, you charge it at night.
And when it comes to these long cross-country trips, they take planes.
So these are interesting times. These are really interesting times.
I suppose the only thing you can guarantee is that the moment the motor industry pivots suddenly
to maybe not having cheap fuel available, they'll produce a load of cars and then
they'll find the biggest shale oil gas field in the world with 20 trillion barrels.
I was never going to go, fuck this, this is buying planes everywhere.
What, Neil Clifford, have you been up to? We dream of $4 a gallon, don't we?
Yeah, we do. That's our tax. What we pay, $9 or $10 or something.
I don't know, I did lots of little things in cars. I drove to Devon in our Defender
and sort of semi-broke down, actually. Mr. Harris was with me for a little
escapade where I wasn't sure whether I'd broken down or not because the car wouldn't start.
But I wasn't sure whether I was doing it right or wrong because it's hybrid thing,
but I had no electricity left in the hybrid and then it wouldn't start and then it did start.
I had a little panic attack because we were in a pub that is officially known as the pub
in the middle of nowhere in Devon, which I would have been stranded for literally weeks,
but it wouldn't start and then it did start. So I was sort of panic over. I drove at a lovely
little drive in my just amazing Peterson Bentley and you realise, I suppose when you get old
and annoyingly, I'm old. Don't feel old, but I look old. Those cars that you fought were for
old farts and why would you drive such a shit box as one of those things because you realise
how amazing these things are and they're really, really fast, particularly when the technology
on them makes it probably the most reliable car I've got. I then tried to jumpstart a little
three, five, six and put the charger leads on the wrong way round and unfortunately a
little bit of smoke, a little puff of smoke came out of the engine bay. So that was a little drama.
It was a bit like curbing a wheel, but sort of a million times worse. I just sort of took the key
out and went back to the kitchen and pretended it didn't happen and shut the engine bay and
decided that I'll deal with that tomorrow, sir. And my good friends at RPM came and picked up the
car and hopefully it's just a couple of sort of burnt cables because what a complete dickhead,
he says, looking at himself. How did you manage to, did you just absent mind it or did you not?
The thing, no. Look, I'm definitely, my HND in mechanical engineering that I got as part of my
YTS course in 1983 as costume polytechnic. It's fair to say I wasn't concentrating much.
And I know what happened was the battery was completely flat. I tried the booster on it,
which normally is like 60% of the time works, isn't it? Nothing. I checked to make sure the
battery cutoff switch wasn't in the wrong way round and I definitely had it the right way,
but nothing, absolutely nothing. And I thought, this is ridiculous. This car doesn't take,
doesn't lose any charge, only driven it a week ago. Something's gone wrong here.
So then I'm like, right, I'm never, it's fair to say one of my positive personality traits is never,
ever, ever, ever give up on anything, even if the point of the end, you fuck it up,
but you never give up. So then I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to get my special
ring charger thing that, that revives dead batteries. So I left that on there for nine
hours, nothing. And then I got my even bigger monstrous bought to me by Neil Dickens at Hairpin,
snap on, charger thing on wheels. You know those ones that you're only seeing garages
to put that on the batteries. Yes, nothing. I'm like, and it always, the last point of
call, and it always works is the trusty jump lead, isn't it? So that was car out, jump leads on.
I knew the car had had a 12 volt conversion. So it wasn't a funny voltage thing. The battery said
12 volts, connected up the battery, made sure red on there, red on there, black on there, black on
there, check it 10 times because I'm a bit of a muppet on those things. Nothing. I'm like, this
is really weird now. Went to the battery and there was a little red cable, a tiny little red cable
coming out of the end. And I'm like, oh, maybe the end is a red one and it's just round the wrong
way. Maybe there's something wrong. Or maybe 1959, maybe there was the, the end is a positive or
maybe there's, I'm like, I'm just going to try it. So I swap over, swap over the black and the red
and thought, oh, now I'm going to start it. So I then turn the key and I'm like, oh, nothing's
happened. And then I smell smoke. Yeah. So I look around, quickly turn, take the key out and it's
singed a few, a few cables. So then the, the, being equal to the curbing of a wheel, I slept,
shut the door, walked off and went to the kitchen, had a cup of tea and in secret knew that I was a
complete prat. And by the way, I just add, and I want, I want to, I want, there's a witness here
because we are on our podcast. The Bentley Bentayaga, when I saw it in crew, there was a very,
very tiny wheel curb mark on one of the wheels. No, it was. And I would just like to make this
point now that when I get that car, which is tomorrow, it was not me, sir. So when I picked up
the car, so when I picked up the car, the very nice gentleman, I think at least three of us on
here know, said to me, because he'd been looking after it immediately prior to my collecting it.
And he went to the right rear wheel and said, there's a little nick on the wheel.
It's one of those little ones that you cut. It's really tiny, but it was there.
I wouldn't have said anything. He made me do it, sir.
So maybe it was done at the PDI or people.
I'd go and invest it. I mean, I did, I can't have any martyrs in it. Not many. You'd know about it.
Not many. I've done all of them.
It wasn't me. It was someone in the car park.
We can't have been or investigated.
I have to say, Neil, that was a very clever way of getting out of the fat.
You've been a complete numpty in the charging up a battery department.
Absolutely.
Any deflection.
Yeah.
Yes, really.
I'm still embarrassed by that little s-quest.
But this podcast is about authenticity and honesty.
No, it's about you trying to cover your arse.
And also, in my world, when you worked in an office where it was all about performance cars and
who's done what, there was always 20 cars on the car list in the car park.
If you did what Neil Clifford did, you knew you were in the shit.
Because that means you're going to fire one straight into a ditch because you've done the whole,
yeah, it wasn't me that curbed the wheel, but it will be you that fires it into a wall or drives it into something else.
So actually, you've got to be very careful with those ones.
You've got to be very careful with those ones.
So, yeah, I would never do that.
So I wouldn't.
Yeah, I didn't go down and see Neil.
I had a fairly, I had a mixture of fabulously successful and fabulously unsuccessful car weekend.
Lots going on in cars at the moment anyway.
So I won't bore people with the last week, but Merlin, who gets a daily mention on this podcast,
was going with from Duke of London, was going off to Wales with his mates and being cool and young.
And he said, I'll come by my Aventador Roadster if you want to have a go in it.
And I said, I'm not going to say no to that.
I love there's something about an early Aventador in that lovely silvery blue.
It's a bit like a Grigio Titanio on a Ferrari.
It's got a sort of bluey silver and he's got one of those.
And I'd never driven one like that for ages.
So I borrowed it off him and met him at Molly's Diner on the near Cribs Callsway,
which seems to serve surprisingly good food and coffee, I'd say.
And I drove it back into Clifton.
Just know that obviously it's a bit of an eyeful.
Although I was not, I just thought it was a really nice car.
I think the Aventador, an early Aventador, it's obvious it's not a new car.
And therefore it doesn't look like you're trying to be quite as much of a see you next Tuesday.
Exactly.
But I thought to myself, do you know what?
Me and the better half need to go for a drive in this tomorrow.
Weather looks a bit ropey.
But I said to Neil, I'll tell you what, I phoned Neil and said,
we'll come and see you in Devon.
We'll come and have lunch or just see you because it's an excuse.
I wanted to drive the car sort of over X more and do that.
It was sitting outside where I live and I thought, do you know what?
I'm going to go put this away because I could go to a secure location and put the car away
overnight. I was worried it would get scratched.
So I got up nice and early, went to get the car,
and some of the parts crossed the door to the secure location.
So I couldn't actually take the Lamborghini anywhere.
I just left it locked up in a shed for the weekend.
So thank you to everyone who did that.
And instead we drove down in an M3 CS,
which I'm now convinced is the best new car you can buy if you can find one.
But we did witness Neil.
It's fascinating what other people's angst.
Once Neil had worked out that his defender
was displaying a sort of a very landrovery intermittent start desire,
he couldn't focus on anything else because I would be like,
right, I'm going to order the food.
He would go, yeah, I'm going to have the,
I'm going to have, I've got to go look at the car.
And he'd just, and he'd go, every time he'd go, right, I'll have the chicken.
I'll have the, no, I've got to go look at the key for the car.
And it would just, it happened every two minutes.
I'd be exactly the same.
I would be exactly the same.
But the car started.
Yeah.
Merlin and his friends turned up to the car park as I was leaving of this
pub, which was in the middle of nowhere, somewhere in South Devon.
And they turned up in a bronze Testerossa, an SLS, an F12 and something else.
I mean, it looked like, it might as well have been Moss Isley Spaceport to the people of that,
but they'd never seen one super car, let alone this rabble.
So that was amazing.
They all came to me then, and we'd had 16 coffees and teas and cakes.
Good lad.
So no, and also what's reassuring is that, you know, they're not,
they're not young in the conventional sense.
They all probably begin with a three, but they're much younger than us.
And they're carrying the baton.
They've got a real passion for this subject, which I find heartwarming.
So thank God there are some young people that get into this.
I then decided to get, you know, a load of old tat out and see if I can make it work.
Most of which actually worked.
But I had a, this is another really bad piece of behavior.
Who else can relate to this?
I went out in the R3M Roadster, which is now quite different.
It's got wheel spacers, new suspension, it's got a shorter diff.
So it's quite an exciting thing.
And I got in it and the moment I drove it, I thought,
this isn't quite as quick as it was.
And I thought, oh no.
But I quickly realized it wasn't because I had less power.
It's because I had more friction.
So I'm trying to work out what's going on.
We get down to near Bristol.
We're just going out for a wobble in the lanes.
Get to near Bristol Airport before we go left into the lanes towards Blakden.
And I, every time I took the foot off the brake, it would stop very quickly.
It was clear that one of the brakes was a toes and was dragging.
And it was the right rear.
And it started to make a lot of noise.
And then I just stopped the car.
I suppose it wasn't on fire.
Well, yeah, I stopped and the right rear wheel was very, very hot.
So I did what we all do.
I phoned Dara, Dara who is basically like my wet nurse.
I phoned him and just said, I've got, I think the right rear brake caliper sticking.
And he, he was so polite.
He went, oh, right, I'm just getting my food ready.
And I, but I think it could be this and this and this.
And if you just try and drive back on the handbrake,
but if you put more pressure into the piston of that caliper, it's not coming back.
So you can't, you can't keep smashing the brake and open for itself up.
It won't.
But what he should have said was it's fucking Sunday.
What am I supposed to do about that?
I'm 150 miles away.
It's not my responsibility that you left the car with probably, you know, in the wrong place.
It's an old car.
Don't phone me with your shit.
But I did.
And I think we all do it.
There we are.
I just, it's all, but I think, what are the reasons for me doing it?
I think I just wanted a friendly voice.
I didn't expect him to fix it.
I wanted to just share, I wanted to just share what I was doing with him
in a, in a sort of therapeutic way.
I wasn't, I wasn't blaming him at all.
I wasn't saying it's your fault.
I wasn't expecting him to fix it.
Or even if he'd said, this is how you fix it.
I wouldn't be able to do that, but I started the road.
But it was, I just thought, I don't know what, I said to my dad, I said,
I'm just going to phone Dara.
She should have gone, you might as well just phone the cat.
Why, why, why are you phoning him?
What's he going to do about it?
Because it's a friendly, fatherly, trusted voice.
Yeah. So I, I got the car back.
But everything else sort of decided to start to work.
And wasn't it just that once you move into this phase in the equinox,
you just, it's, it's warmer, you know, everything's looking a bit green.
We've come out of the dark winter and suddenly the motor car is your pal.
I love it. And also convertibles.
Everyone was there with the roof down, getting a burnt forehead.
Fabulous.
Yeah, but please everyone wear sun cream.
Well, yes, absolutely.
Right, moving on. Here we go.
Can car brands have a gender?
Bloody eyes, a fucking can of worms.
This one.
Can I start this one?
Yes, have you been good enough?
Yes, you can.
Well, because this, this, this came up with a family conversation.
I've got one daughter, two sons.
And my daughter, who was the first to luckily get a car when she passed her test, age 17,
has got now quite a sort of rag bag old VW beetle, the first gen beetle.
And we were thinking as a family, whether we, you know, trade it in and get a new,
a new ish car, a newer car.
And she's obviously, you know, you come up with these car ideas for members of the family.
They don't actually ask for them at all.
It's just something to do, isn't it?
It's just, oh, what, what can I do to slightly up?
Would you like car play?
I was thinking, maybe you've got yourself a golf.
And she's like, dad, I'm okay to be honest.
But frankly, if you were going to think about, I just need a bit more space.
And actually for London, is it possible to get an automatic?
Because it might be easier for me.
So then you have these wonderful family discussions about cars.
You're just instigating them for the sake of it, basically.
So you can talk to other people about cars.
Anyway, I said, well, yeah, okay.
Well, maybe you get yourself a little BMW or something.
Maybe I could look into a sort of BMW.
Oh no, BMWs for boys, dad.
And that got me thinking because I'd never really thought of that.
And then I've checked with my two sons and we've had this debate this evening about,
you know, the ratio of their perception, not mine, of masculine versus feminine on car brands.
And definitely the vote was in our family, BMW is 75% male.
There's definitely, because my son said, well, they're just bigger and they're chunky,
chunky and they're sort of a bit heavier.
It's not really, and I know this, I'm not trying to be stereotypical.
It's just an honest debate about cars and gender.
And then I said to my daughter, well, okay, if you think that's a boy's car brand,
what would a girl's car brand be?
What would you prefer?
She's like, well, Audi.
And I'm like, really, Audi?
Yes, I would think that's a little bit more, it's a bit curvier.
It's not so chunky.
It's a bit more feminine.
And then we discuss Audi and actually the conclusion of Audi is pretty 50-50 and it's
more of a family car, sort of safer car.
It's not so macho as a BMW.
So this got me thinking, can car brands have a gender bias?
Or am I just talking shit?
No, you're not.
I think they can acquire temporarily or otherwise a particular gender expectation
or whatever.
I mean, the obvious example is the Fiat 500.
Girl.
And the new Fiat 500 appeared 2008, 2009.
Purely from my own experience observation about the Queen's then highway,
more often than not, the Fiat 500 had lady persons at the wheel,
rather than gentlemen persons at the wheel.
And more mini.
I was going to say, the other obvious one is mini.
And for Fiat, that did sort of, you thought of Fiat, you thought the Fiat 500.
If you thought the Fiat 500, you thought they appeared to be on a non-scientific data proven
basis, just what I see about, maybe I only see the things I want to see or not want to see whatever
it is, but that will, if the Fiat 500 eventually gets replaced with something which is awful,
just doesn't, we don't like it, that will pass.
Is BMW Audi, you'd have always said that the German cars are more masculine.
Mercedes, BMW, Audi, yeah, sort of, sort of resonate with a more traditional,
used to it, sort of 80s and 90s, certainly.
Audi is an interesting one.
I can sort of see, because I only got two boys, I haven't really discussed this with them,
I think they probably have just lots of different ideas.
But I can sort of see if you had daughters in the family.
They might think there's something slightly softer about an Audi than a BMW.
The view is that right in the middle was Volkswagen in our family.
Volkswagen is totally 50-50.
That is sort of universal.
That's the clever place though, that's where you want to be, isn't it?
I'll read something to you that someone sent to me on the internet.
Okay, here you go.
This is about the gender of vehicles in general.
You might have seen this, did you see this?
This was in a museum, the guy that sent it to me, I can't reference who you are because
I've got a screenshot, but you know who you are, you're clever.
From the second half of the 19th century, the French word automobile spread in Italy first
as an adjective then as a noun.
The first Italian statement of automobila as a feminine noun is dated 1898.
Not many years past, in 1905 the grammarian and polygraph
Alfredo Panzini gave his modern dictionary to the presses.
Surprisingly, under the entry automobile, its masculine gender was emphasised instead,
originally adjective then noun to indicate that car of pleasure.
Fright of wayfarers, elegant, gentlemanly, docile and very rapid,
in great vogue in France and everywhere.
Which moves itself with ingenious and different mechanisms,
but which however still await their perfection.
Of what kind is the noun automobile, it has been disputed in France and that's also in Italy.
The male gender tends to prevail.
The best bit here is the end here.
In a letter from 1926 to Senator Giovanni Agnelli,
one of the founders of Fiat, the lawyer of Italy,
the Bard expresses opinion on the already debated gender question of the noun ruling,
automobile is feminine.
It has the grace, the slenderness, the vivacity of a seductress.
It also has a virtue of unknown to women, perfect obedience.
Oh, said a man.
Said a man, yeah.
Yes, on the other hand, a women has the nonchalant lightness to overcome any roughness.
Is it that clever?
It reminds me, it reminds of that scene in Blackadder where
is it Samuel Johnson takes his newly devised English dictionary to the Prince of Wales
and Blackadder is there trying to cause mischief and he says to the Prince,
here it is, sir.
The first definitive dictionary has got every word in the English language
and then Blackadder just makes the word up and says,
oh, contrivibularity is to you, sir.
And he's thinking, shit, shit, I haven't got my dictionary.
And I've got to write some more guff.
What about when he's leaving the room and bowing, walking backwards and says,
I shall return, interfastically.
Yeah, that was brilliant.
I forgot that one.
That was really good.
Robbie Coltrane.
So we've bloody hell, we're moving on a bit here.
So we've done.
Can I say something?
Go on, Mesh.
Of course you can.
Oh, Neil didn't say bias.
He didn't say gender bias at the end.
So the way I interpreted this question was, do car brands inherently have gender?
And so, for example, look at the Ferrari, I would say, as Senator Aniele says,
on average, a Ferrari is female.
But I was having a good hard stare and I was thinking,
a little two, four, six, do you know that's a little girl?
That's definitely a girl.
I think Lola is female.
But then when you get into sort of six, one, two, start to go to eight, one, two,
and definitely F12.
They're getting a bit pig, a bit masculine, big mouths.
I'm not so sure about this, isn't it?
I was looking at the 911s very, very early on.
I think very male.
If you look, you know, and it's to do with the headlight position, they're very, very upright.
And then what happens is when you start to get to 993, 996, they start to get a bit sleek
and again, a little bit hermaphroditic.
And then later, they just get very big and they can't be female anymore.
They're just, they're just too big to be female.
They just are, they just are, sorry.
Lamborghinis, Lamborghinis, couldn't touch.
I mean, that can't, that sort of starts off female, doesn't it?
Starts off female, vaguely curvy, not too many appendages, but it ends up completely male.
Twenty percent.
Have you talked to anybody about this, Manish?
So, but I think it's really obvious this stuff.
No, I, do you know what?
I just, I agree with Manish, I agree with Manish.
I just think the way that he sometimes draws comparisons isn't helpful in his search to not be cancelled.
But I, but I do, but I agree with him because I do, there's a loss around,
you know, eyes, eye decoration.
He's quite right about the eyes, you know, the confusion of like the Miura,
the Miura is the one car that actually tried to have eyelashes.
I mean, he deliberately put eyelashes on it.
But I think it was almost, it does look a bit like a man with makeup on to me sometimes,
because it is so, because the rest of the shape is quite, for me, it's quite masculine,
but you've got these eyelashes, it's deliberately confused.
It's very complicated, I get it.
And I never thought I'd hear the word hemaphroditic on this podcast,
but we did, and it was beautifully enunciated.
So, let's now, we're going to move, we're going to skip through a couple of these,
because it's quite late and I've just got airborne, I've got to be up really early.
So, here we go.
The last thing we're going to do before our two-car garage is,
what's the newest car that still works with spoke wheels?
It's completely random one that came out in the conversation.
And I don't have an answer for this, so I'm going to put it straight to no cliff.
I think this is really difficult to not answer in a very classical, safe,
cautious way.
I think that wire wheels have to go with chrome bumpers.
Yeah, I do not think you can add wire wheels to more modern cars,
either into 70s, 80s rubber bumpers, or certainly not into the more modern era.
I think when it's tried, it fails.
There's that Derek Bell, Aston Martin, or whatever that stupid Aston DB thing.
There's been some attempts at very bad retro mod things.
They never ever work.
They look like those 80s hubcaps that were fake wire wheels and actually aren't really wire wheels.
So, if you had to ping me on it, I'd say the last of the E-type, really.
It's got to be early 70s chrome bumper.
And even then, it's tough.
Wires are really about the 50s and 60s.
And British.
And British, although the Burani can work in Italian.
Yeah, I have to say.
I couldn't think of a good car, 80s onwards, that works with wires, basically.
Yeah, I have to say, and I'm going to get into it.
I don't really like wire wheels.
I'm not a huge fan of them.
Chris Cooper.
I've got two things to say.
One is the answer to the question.
But the first thing is, just a little reminder and a plug,
that the howl on a limited noise track day bring anything literally, there's no high noise limit.
We're not plugging this now.
Sorry, I'm taking over.
We'll do that after this.
We're right in the middle of a subject.
I'm stopping you for the first time ever.
I want to hear you talk about what we're talking about.
I thought you just said we were going to skip right to the end.
No, the answer to the question is easy.
This is not the question.
The answer to the question is easy.
You're doing wire wheels.
Yes, that's the one I'm talking about.
Now that is DBS.
So you shared this picture and said, isn't that beautiful?
And I said, that's really interesting.
That says to me, is that the newest car that could absolutely get away with wire wheels?
And also, it's the only car.
It was a shape that worked with wire wheels and with a normal alloy wheel.
Because when they made the Oscar India, whatever it was,
they put a wolf race style wheel on, didn't they?
Yeah, yeah.
So I think that's stunning.
And you're right, because that body shape basically survived for another 20 years.
I think that is the newest car you could get away with wire wheels.
It just looks so perfect on there.
I think you've done it there, I think that is fine.
What is 70 for 5?
What's it on and then?
What sort of...
No, it's a Nikola 70.
I think that DBS would be...
When did that DBS stop?
Yeah, it's about 70, 70.
Yeah.
I found the last wire wheeled car, which is a 1992 Caddy Broom.
Is that actually a wire wheel?
I think it is.
Or is it?
Is it a half and half wheel?
I think it's a wire wheel.
It's a wire wheel.
That's quite impressive.
For you, but it's not a pretty car.
I'm going to be a bit cynical and say it's probably a Morgan, isn't it?
Because they still make them, and they look...
Oh, that's true.
That was very good.
When I first see a Plus 8 wobbling away from Malvern,
first of all, I always think that looks really good.
I bet they're having a really good drive in that car.
But I always think the wire wheels, they did it a wider wheel for the Plus 8,
and it sits quite low on the wheel, and it looks cool.
Whereas I always associate wire wheels being a bit sort of tall and narrow.
Those Morgan wheels look quite good.
So, but I think Coop is now there.
Now, as the public information broadcaster, I can now give him permission
to tell us about an amazing event at Thruxton.
We'll let you get all that previous bit out.
So on Saturday, June, we have an amazing track day and podcast event at Thruxton.
We call it Howl, because you can literally bring anything that howls.
Car.
Howl.
No, that was Magpie.
Jack Hargreaves.
Was that Magpie?
It was Howl.
I thought it was a Magpie.
Anyway, back to the future.
Howl, as in howl like the wolf, hungry like the wolf.
Satistic of June, you can bring anything.
Mate of Mine this week signed up for it.
He's got an Altima, that extraordinary, beautiful sort of kick car, limited build thing
that Gordon Murray always uses when he's trying to design.
He's got one of those.
He said, this is the only event I can take this to this year and not put the silly exhaust on it.
Anything like that.
Wonderful.
So go to thruxtonracing.co.uk and sign up.
And we'll be there all day.
We're hosting it.
Chris and I are doing fast rides.
There's a in the evening.
If you don't want to come, you want to watch the track day and mingle with us
and come to podcast in the evening.
There are separate tickets for that as well.
It's all on the website.
So yeah, look forward to seeing you.
I'm doing slow laps.
You can do whatever you like, love.
Neil is hosting a series of DIY car workshops about the polarity of batteries.
Bring your jumb leads.
Was that back to the future if we can just reverse?
I know that was Thunderbirds, wasn't it?
If we can just reverse the polarity.
Yeah.
That was Brains.
You're basically Brains, aren't you, Neil?
Let's move on.
Genius.
You are two car garage.
Hold on.
So two car garage.
It's nice and short and simple, this one.
My son and I always want to hear how creative you can be with a lower budget.
Say 15,000 pounds, one character for family car and one weekend toy to get in trouble with.
Let's go first to Manish.
By the way, I've had another athlete disastrous week on car and classic where
I've been doing a lot of nocturnal searching.
I looked at my searches the other day and I looked at more than 500 vehicles one night.
So yeah, 500 vehicles I'd gone through.
Couldn't sleep just five hours.
Honestly, it's amazing.
Car and classic.
You've got to get in there.
It's not a website.
It's a bloody Bible.
Right.
God bless you.
Okay.
So I'm going to go backwards.
I'm going to.
This is my weekend car to get into trouble with.
And I think get into trouble with this quite a big catch all.
I mean, this make this car.
This car I think is probably going to be great.
5995 a 2004 MGTF silver.
Look at that.
That little brown hood.
The interior is beautiful.
I've no idea what sort of trouble you'd get.
Five speed right hand drive manual.
I think it's just great.
I think it's just a great car.
The one that I really liked was one car.
Characterful family car.
And I found for exactly the same price, exactly the same price.
A 1980 four door Vauxhall Cavalier Brown manual.
Where did you find this?
Why have I not seen this?
Look at that.
That's a great car.
It's a beautiful car.
1.6.
And look at the interior of this car.
Cloth.
Goldy, tiny, linen cloth.
Look at that.
I said I've got one Cavalier.
Oh, look, it's.
Yes, basically.
That's an early car.
Brilliant.
It's just a beautiful car.
I made a quick note.
1980.
Heidi High came out.
Yes, minister came out.
Ronald Reagan became president of the United States.
All of those things will be evoked
in sitting in that car with a cigarette down.
I'm going to go next.
Right, here we go.
So first of all, I've gone French.
And I'm going to blur the lines of family car and weekend toy.
This is an early 1967 Renault 4 in a sort of burgundy color.
And I am in love.
Oh, look at that.
Nice color.
Just beautiful color with the little bumpers,
a bit more curved to the front wings.
I'm a slightly addicted to those.
They were in my 500 cars the other night.
And then I just think I love it when you just see a car
whose mileage and story doesn't, you know,
it must be it was owned by a car.
By a vicar or something.
Here is a very, very low miles,
like one owner, Peugeot 205.
But it's a basic car, just a 3-door.
And I think it's done.
How many miles is it done?
Here we go.
28,000 miles from you.
Ninety.
Oh, wow.
Right hand drive.
It's the little 1100 engine.
So it wouldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding.
But it's a special edition look model.
Remember the 205 look?
Why do you think it might have been in charge
of UK special editions of cars?
Or regional Ford dealer special editions?
I mean, it'd be so good, wouldn't it?
It'd be so good.
Can you remember?
Was it the fast show or Harry and Paul
did those take-offs of cheap French car adverts?
Like the Beeboo or the Nooksy or the Hello Solar?
Those kind of special editions.
Just the real taking that idea of the
we've got 50 pence to spend on the advert
for this special edition.
Yeah, it's one of those.
So I think that's with KGF classic cars.
They've always got some quite nice stuff.
So there you go.
He does.
I've got double French.
Who are you going to go with, Nils?
Okay, I'm going Italian for my weekend sporty car
because I'm talking into my phone.
I've got to now use my wife's iPad.
Maserati 3002 GT, eight grand.
Wow.
8,700 quid.
And listen to this.
What could possibly go wrong?
What could possibly go wrong?
Literally, what could possibly go wrong?
Here's a weekend car to get into trouble with.
This is what Nia wants.
Because I am an expert at the jumbies.
She presents very well, but it's not perfect.
Has a long crank, brackets, 10 seconds before start up,
but then she runs very well, hence the very low price.
So I don't think anything's going to go wrong with that car.
I think it's all fantastic.
And it's the manual, the one to have.
8,750, Kingslin.
I reckon you've got a 50% chance of getting home from Kingslin
if you bought that.
Much more.
That's a winner.
And then I'm going, the obvious choice really,
if you've got five or six grand, a Mini Cooper S.
Lovely little silver car, six grand, made by BMWs.
It's not really going to go wrong much.
And the steering wheel is slightly misaligned.
This happened when the subframe was put back on.
But it's not an issue now and doesn't affect the drive.
It just needs a bit of realignment to sort it out.
And I will take 50 quid off if that's the thing you want to do
in order that you can own this car.
It's a great envelope.
What a generous seller.
And it's just had an all filter and a service.
And we've recently put two new tires on
and the front subframe has been replaced with a reconditioned one,
which, as we probably know, is the weak point.
And this has been taken care of on this car.
Again, 100% reliable.
It's only done 30,000 miles from new.
Sir, even though the seats look a little bit more worn than that.
But anyway, fantastic car, six grand.
There you go.
Very good.
Chris Cooper.
I know I occasionally say this,
but I have so won this week, even I'm embarrassed.
What budget have you awarded yourself?
300 grand?
But what are we this week?
No.
No.
So the first car has got to be a characterful family car.
Yeah.
Look at that stunner.
Oh, Jaguar.
It's a Jaguar XE.
XE.
That looks good.
It's in the auction.
It's done 29,800 miles.
2015 XE 2.5 with 2-liter engine, 250 horsepower, whatever it is.
Seller is in Winchester, Hampshire.
I mean, they looked after it well.
I reckon I'll go for about half of the 15,000.
Might be slightly more.
But anyway, that's a characterful family car.
Or I'm a vicar.
The other one, and I can't believe nobody saw this in the auctions
like what I just did.
This starts a day before.
So the Jag goes on auction on Monday.
So the three days after this comes out.
The day before this comes out.
So plenty of time to look at it once you hear our podcast.
It's a 2004 Subaru WRX.
Oh, good show.
Good show.
It's done 49,855 miles.
Private seller.
What's your estimate then that that's going to go?
Yeah, it's going to go to 2,000 pounds.
And so having looked at comparable prices, I think a budget of 15,000.
In the way that we as a group and individuals would apply a budget of 15,000,
I still think you could walk away both of those cars
that in your mind, you'd spend 15,000 on.
I dare you to argue me out of that.
Every week, he picks his two favorite cars.
If you wake up and you view the world as a system of laws that don't apply to you,
that this will happen.
Okay, that might go.
Chris, no, no, no, no.
It's much worse than that.
It's not.
Mr. Cooper makes a big thing of the fact that he always picks cars in the auction.
He implies that he sticks to the rules more rigorously than the other three
idiots on this podcast.
But actually he breaks the fundamental one.
Which is?
What is?
You always pick them in the auctions, but they're always too expensive.
Well, it happens you have to turn out.
Exactly.
It's part of the quirk of the way he views the world.
Don't forget when he's given the popcorn, he keeps it on his lap.
If given the popcorn, it's just there.
Or you have an empty bit of cardboard with all those husks in the bottom that get in your teeth.
I did do that.
There's a bit of music before we go.
This is already an hour and 20 long.
We've missed out two bloody items on the agenda.
Let's start with Neil for music.
Did you do a car?
Me?
Yeah.
I don't know, four and two or five.
Of course you did.
Sorry.
Okay, sorry, music.
When I was looked after by my uncle Reg,
who was actually a, he was the entertainment manager of the holiday camp on Brackish and Bay.
I'm sure.
And I used to, yeah, he was.
And me and my mum used to drive over there.
And I was thrown into the pool room and spend my weekends playing pool.
And that was when there were still jukeboxes with real singles.
You know, when you press the button and the actual single would come out and go on.
And therefore the best B side of any song I can remember in that jukebox was
The Butterfly Collector by the Jam, which was a B side to Strangetown.
Yeah.
There you go.
All right, good, Butterfly Collector.
And I learned my pool skills in that very holiday camp in 1981.
Did you now?
Okay.
Got a music.
1980, Vauxhall, beautiful car, specials, Too Much Too Young.
Oh, that is such a good song.
Honestly, Too Much Too Young.
Too Much Too Young.
I put this on a little clip of some of the Bentley photographs I took down in Cornwall,
one overlooking the King Harry ferry with the mighty Bentayger and the mighty being King
Harry ferry in the mighty Roseland.
And I listened to it on the way down there from the petrol station right now by the creatures.
It's such, I defy you not to feel good at the wheel of your car listening to that.
Nice.
Nick Lowe, I love the sound of breaking glass.
Oh, great song.
Yeah, it's a really good, it's got real funky rhythm.
You find yourself just sort of doing this, the kind of.
So go and listen to that.
That's a really good tune.
So events.
Let's just recap on events.
We are, is it 6th of June for Thruxton?
Yeah.
And we are 23rd of May for the big Jaguar event, Abyssa.
That is now, as all these things, we've started something
that we didn't quite know what we were starting.
And it's getting rather large now.
And we've got, frankly, an amazing bunch of cars and people coming along,
which are getting better by the day.
So please go onto the Bista website and have a look at that one.
Thank you very much.
Melody friends, Neil Clifford, Managed Plan, Lee Chris Cooper.
I'm in Stuttgart.
I need to go to bed driving an exciting Porsche tomorrow.
Everyone else, have a good weekend and get on to car and classic and get your crack cocaine fix.
You're listening to this podcast, so I know you've got a curious mind.
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